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Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House


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The Duggars post about politics on social media frequently, but these social media posts are not an invitation to discuss politics here in this forum. This rule extends to Duggar adjacent families, friends, associates etc. Such discussions are a violation of the Politics Policy. 

I understand with recent current events there may be a desire to discuss certain social media postings of those in the Duggar realm as they relate to politics- this is not the place for those discussions. If you believe someone has violated forum rules, report them, do not respond or engage.

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56 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

Why is Jessa wearing the ugly , shapeless nightgown dress? Did she get it for free somewhere?

7DEE6601-B7F0-4834-8B56-E8199AF7BEB4.jpeg

This dress is basically a slab of cooked bacon held together with a safety pin. 

When the dress has a v-neck capelet front, and you feel compelled to modest it up it with a pin, wear a different dress.

Jessa is turning into Meechele.

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1 hour ago, drafan said:

This dress is basically a slab of cooked bacon held together with a safety pin. 

When the dress has a v-neck capelet front, and you feel compelled to modest it up it with a pin, wear a different dress.

Jessa is turning into Meechele.

I have a couple of dresses and tops with a v-neck wrap front and I've been known to pin them, at least to wear to work where I do a lot of bending and reaching for stuff and don't want to pop out.  However, it is possible to put a pin, a snap or a stitch into the neckline to make it a little higher without bunching it up and making it look messy.  Jessa is just such a slob.

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4 hours ago, magpye29 said:

CAPTION: Oh, YOU'RE having the next baby? Thank God! 

Jessa seriously looks deranged in this picture.

While Bin looks like he's wearing the fakest, tightest grin in history in an attempt to placate the crazy person. While he's gathering enough internal calm and  strength to start running backwards away from her as fast as humanly possible. 

Those are two of the fakest facial expressions I've ever seen in a photo. 

4 hours ago, BigBingerBro said:

I just can't understand who thought the apartment complex in the background was a good idea.  Most likely any other angle was worse??

It was probably a landfill. 

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There she is, Bin. The hot girl you gave up everything to marry. Giving up every chance of getting an actual education, having any independent fun, or spending a few years without pushy in-laws breathing down your neck and controlling your income.

This is it! Your next 65 years together. As the hot girl gets drabber, dowdier and stronger-jawed with every passing month, never provides one iota of actual fun, and isn't much use around the house or the kitchen either. 

While you trudge off every day to the big tin house to teach Joshley's brood, Josie, and the coming hordes of future JB-and-M grandbabies to spell, subtract and recite Psalm I, KJV, without understanding a damn word that's in it. 

 

 

 

Edited by Churchhoney
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I feel like in some respects, these two are total opposites. As was stated, Jessa strikes me as much more slovenly, whereas I wouldn't be surprised if Ben likes things neat. 

But what I find more surprising, and perhaps ironic, about Jessa is that she was touted as the organizer back in 19K&C. She was the one who, with Jinger, would spend a whole day preparing everyone's suitcases and what not. Unless that was all a lie for the show, which wouldn't be that far-fetched come to think about it...

But now that is not what her social media depicts. Sure, raising kids is a priority over being obsessively neat, but I just wouldn't expect someone who would spend so much time on organization to do a 180 and now stack diapers on the drawer, you know?

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19 minutes ago, madpsych78 said:

I feel like in some respects, these two are total opposites. As was stated, Jessa strikes me as much more slovenly, whereas I wouldn't be surprised if Ben likes things neat. 

But what I find more surprising, and perhaps ironic, about Jessa is that she was touted as the organizer back in 19K&C. She was the one who, with Jinger, would spend a whole day preparing everyone's suitcases and what not. Unless that was all a lie for the show, which wouldn't be that far-fetched come to think about it...

But now that is not what her social media depicts. Sure, raising kids is a priority over being obsessively neat, but I just wouldn't expect someone who would spend so much time on organization to do a 180 and now stack diapers on the drawer, you know?

I'm guessing Jessa did a lot of slacking, hiding and being busy, growing up, while Jana, Jill and Jinger picked up the slack. Sure, she's show up a week before they went anywhere and would pack. Not too hard to do. All she had to do was enter the communal closet and basically count. They left every thing on hangers, except, of course underwear, socks and such. 

If I'm remembering correctly, one year she forgot to pack any undies for the younger boys. I was surprised anyone noticed. lol

I think Jessa does what she wants, when she wants and has a knack for getting others to do stuff for her. Either by waiting them out or flattering them, and if those don't work - ordering them.

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1 hour ago, madpsych78 said:

I feel like in some respects, these two are total opposites. As was stated, Jessa strikes me as much more slovenly, whereas I wouldn't be surprised if Ben likes things neat. 

But what I find more surprising, and perhaps ironic, about Jessa is that she was touted as the organizer back in 19K&C. She was the one who, with Jinger, would spend a whole day preparing everyone's suitcases and what not. Unless that was all a lie for the show, which wouldn't be that far-fetched come to think about it...

But now that is not what her social media depicts. Sure, raising kids is a priority over being obsessively neat, but I just wouldn't expect someone who would spend so much time on organization to do a 180 and now stack diapers on the drawer, you know?

FWIW, I'm an organized person who can be quite messy. I have seven layers of subfolders on my flash drive and color code the shit out of everything in my life but also have a tremendous pile of papers on my work desk and a constant battle against clutter in my house. Like Whitman, I contain multitudes. Unlike Jessa, my house does not contain shitty diaper piles and stockpiles of people's snot. 

Still, I don't think being organized automatically equals being obsessively neat. 

From what little I have watched the Duggars, I do think Jessa probably is organized in some ways. I thought she seemed deeply proud of the not-so clever hacks she thinks she invented to get her kids prepared for a road trip. I suspect out of the family, she might be the one who likes a schedule the most, especially since the rest of the family seems so unable to keep one, so I can see how she might have been treated like the family organizer and perhaps enjoyed that, despite her absolutely disgusting lack of housekeeping. 

I think Jessa also likes being in charge, so may derive some personal point of pride in wrangling people (her siblings, her kids) that she doesn't get from actually cleaning. 

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6 hours ago, BigBingerBro said:

I just can't understand who thought the apartment complex in the background was a good idea.  Most likely any other angle was worse??

Maybe apartment complexes are the new barns? We will need to check with Joanna Gaines.

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3 hours ago, madpsych78 said:

what I find more surprising, and perhaps ironic, about Jessa is that she was touted as the organizer back in 19K&C. She was the one who, with Jinger, would spend a whole day preparing everyone's suitcases and what not. Unless that was all a lie for the show, which wouldn't be that far-fetched come to think about it...

I've come to pretty much view what we see on so called "reality" TV shows as made-up-for-the-cameras. Perhaps based somewhat on fact (I'm sure the Duggar family actually exists, for example, or that the people featured on My 600 Pound Life were as large as depicted). But beyond the basic un-fakeable facts? If I watch a show I may suspend disbelief and not call bullshit on everything, but I am learning to think of the narrative presented, as entertainment. Might be somewhat true, might be BS and fairy dust, and even if mostly true they left stuff out. Like the veterinarian shows, which are my current favorite. They usually have a disclaimer that the procedures as shown are not intended to represent the entire course of veterinary treatment provided in those cases, which makes sense. 

For the "lifestyle" shows like the Duggars, the producers control the narrative and I'm sure they edit the footage to please the network. Until the older kids could provide "courting and marriage and babeez!" storylines, they had to push the storyline of how fabulously organized this big family was, and look what it takes to get them out on the road for JB to show them off, and see these cute teenaged girls being so useful and aren't the Duggars just wonderful, yada yada yada.

And, Jessa, I can't stand. She has no humor and little insight, she's boring as shit with no imagination, but she's as ruthlessly ambitious as her parents and will hold on to her TV star job so tightly that her hands will bleed. I suspect she's also an entitled bitch who still thinks she's the Hot Duggar Daughter. It must frost her cornflakes that Jinger and Jeremy are the Breakout Stars™, with a new book coming out. Heh.

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9 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

I've come to pretty much view what we see on so called "reality" TV shows as made-up-for-the-cameras. Perhaps based somewhat on fact (I'm sure the Duggar family actually exists, for example, or that the people featured on My 600 Pound Life were as large as depicted). But beyond the basic un-fakeable facts? If I watch a show I may suspend disbelief and not call bullshit on everything, but I am learning to think of the narrative presented, as entertainment. Might be somewhat true, might be BS and fairy dust, and even if mostly true they left stuff out. Like the veterinarian shows, which are my current favorite. They usually have a disclaimer that the procedures as shown are not intended to represent the entire course of veterinary treatment provided in those cases, which makes sense. 

For the "lifestyle" shows like the Duggars, the producers control the narrative and I'm sure they edit the footage to please the network. Until the older kids could provide "courting and marriage and babeez!" storylines, they had to push the storyline of how fabulously organized this big family was, and look what it takes to get them out on the road for JB to show them off, and see these cute teenaged girls being so useful and aren't the Duggars just wonderful, yada yada yada.

And, Jessa, I can't stand. She has no humor and little insight, she's boring as shit with no imagination, but she's as ruthlessly ambitious as her parents and will hold on to her TV star job so tightly that her hands will bleed. I suspect she's also an entitled bitch who still thinks she's the Hot Duggar Daughter. It must frost her cornflakes that Jinger and Jeremy are the Breakout Stars™, with a new book coming out. Heh.

Amen on Jessa. You just articulated my opinions far more eloquently than I ever could. She makes me roll my eyes more than any other Duggar or adjacent, although Jeremy runs a close second.

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5 hours ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Amen on Jessa. You just articulated my opinions far more eloquently than I ever could. She makes me roll my eyes more than any other Duggar or adjacent, although Jeremy runs a close second.

Same here, although I have Jerm on equal eye rolling footing 

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16 hours ago, madpsych78 said:

I feel like in some respects, these two are total opposites. As was stated, Jessa strikes me as much more slovenly, whereas I wouldn't be surprised if Ben likes things neat. 

But what I find more surprising, and perhaps ironic, about Jessa is that she was touted as the organizer back in 19K&C. She was the one who, with Jinger, would spend a whole day preparing everyone's suitcases and what not. Unless that was all a lie for the show, which wouldn't be that far-fetched come to think about it...

But now that is not what her social media depicts. Sure, raising kids is a priority over being obsessively neat, but I just wouldn't expect someone who would spend so much time on organization to do a 180 and now stack diapers on the drawer, you know?

I don't think it was (all) a lie. I think she likely was/is organized when it comes to big things--the family packing for a trip, taking charge of the homeschooling, etc, while her sisters took care of the daily minutiae like cooking and cleaning. I also think that the same thing happened to her that happened to Jill...she was out of the house and didn't have a bunch of rules to follow and was lost. For Jill, that meant being a pretty crappy mother to Israel when she was such and involved and engaged sister-mom to her siblings; for Jessa, that meant not keeping house well or at all, because she didn't have a chore chart to obey or the dozens of people making a mess constantly. It must have felt amazing to have a house look fairly clean day-to-day when it was just her and Ben, instead of having to clean constantly or risk being buried in filth in 36 hours. Next thing she knew it was months and the stove was looking like it looks in the TTH after 12 hours.

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58 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

I agree, it must have been a change on the "shock to the system" level when those kidults married and moved out of the TTH. IIRC we saw evidence of Jill's anxiety and trouble adjusting to living with just one other person when she was a newlywed. We called it clinginess, and I'm not saying it wasn't, but the poor woman had lived in a herd so long that it was a big issue when she had be in the house by herself, or even with just one other person. I dislike Jessa so much that I didn't pay much attention to her adjustment to married life. It seemed to me that she didn't move far from the TTH; it was more like Ben joined the herd. 

One thing I did wonder about the Duggar daughters and motherhood. Motherhood, as modeled for them by their mother, was a Queen Bee system. Once you had a baby, you breastfed it for a few months, and then you handed daily responsibility for it off to others, so that your days and nights weren't rudely interrupted by the demands of an infant/toddler for care, attention, food, and human interaction. Likewise, the Queen Bee didn't have to deal with the tiresome chores required to keep the house clean and the family fed. I can SO see Jessa as feeling some entitlement that as soon as she escaped her J-slave status by getting married, she'd pump out babies and lounge around being Large and In Charge of her house and family, while all the work was magically done by others.

I know, that's not logical, but she had not merely seen that model of motherhood in action, she'd lived it. It was imprinted. I always wondered if she somehow thought her younger sisters would shoulder the load of caring for her kids like the Sister Moms in the TTH. For all I know they did to some degree, but I doubt to the degree Jessa the Queen Bee would have liked. I frankly think she stays in that small house for its proximity to the TTH and all the labor-saving opportunities that provides. 

Note: I'm not a bee expert, so I may have used "Queen Bee" inexactly here, but I hope my meaning is clear enough.

I don't think that was it, exactly. Jessa took to parenting her own children pretty well (certainly compared to Jill, and way above what many expected based on how she treated her buddies), but the housework is what got to her. I kind of see it as those non-fundie kids who grew up in super strict households and then lose their minds in their first semester of college. Jessa got married and no longer had her parents breathing down her neck and a houseful of people to deal with--that meant she didn't have to do any household tasks she didn't want to. She also lost the division of labor possible with so many people in a home--so when the heady days of freedom gave way to boring, drudging reality, she didn't want to deal with doing it all by herself. That's the part that really tripped Jill up. It's one thing to be the perfect worker bee in the hive, but to be the only worker without even the mediocre assistance of others is another thing entirely.

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1 minute ago, lascuba said:

I don't think that was it, exactly. Jessa took to parenting her own children pretty well (certainly compared to Jill, and way above what many expected based on how she treated her buddies), but the housework is what got to her. I kind of see it as those non-fundie kids who grew up in super strict households and then lose their minds in their first semester of college. Jessa got married and no longer had her parents breathing down her neck and a houseful of people to deal with--that meant she didn't have to do any household tasks she didn't want to. She also lost the division of labor possible with so many people in a home--so when the heady days of freedom gave way to boring, drudging reality, she didn't want to deal with doing it all by herself. That's the part that really tripped Jill up. It's one thing to be the perfect worker bee in the hive, but to be the only worker without even the mediocre assistance of others is another thing entirely.

That's interesting and I'm sure you're right. As I said, I dislike Jessa and I didn't pay much attention to how she adjusted to married life. It makes sense that she'd ignore the housecleaning if it wasn't something she liked to do.

I do remember that she seemed to relate to baby/toddler Spurge better and more comfortably than Jill related to baby/toddler Izzy. I also remember how she decorated her kitchen as a newlywed, with all those photos and decorative tchotchkes all over the kitchen counters. Soon to be epic dust-catchers.

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22 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

I’m sorry, but Spurgeon creeps me out. He has a Chuckie vibe I just can’t get past.

I think it's that he has been trained to be a performer and to be aware of a constant audience.  He's been taught that he is a star...

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I think you’re both right. That trained-seal grin is just phony as shit and I always feel like I’d wake up with him standing next to the bed grinning like that right before he pulled the knife out from behind his back.

Jessa has a lot to answer for.

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I don't think Jessa adjusted to motherhood easier or better than Jill. I think a few things were going on.

Derick had surgery right after Iz was born, then they went on their mission, so Jill was largely on her own. Jessa had Ben around and spent a lot of time at the TTH.

But I think the biggest difference is what Jill showed us and what Jessa didn't.

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Spurgeon would be in T-K here learning shapes, numbers, alphabet, letter sounds, songs, drawing, games, and having story time.

He'd also be getting hours a day of socialization and intellectual stimulation.

Edited by Absolom
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49 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Uh-oh. Who's gonna be head teacher at the TTH now? Jackson? Hannie?  Although I suppose there are more throwaway unmarried Gothard girls out there who can be shipped off the TTH to fill in. 

I'm happy for Bin. He's worked hard to get to this point, so it's nice if he's getting a job of the kind he's wanted. 

And will we see Jessa the Pastor's Wife? that could be interesting. 

Don't think that either Bin's or Jer's addition to the pastoral ranks will do much for the problem of dwindling attendance, though.  

Edited by Churchhoney
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1 hour ago, zoomama said:

'the ordination of Ben as pastor to a precious church.'

 

preaching and pastoring a church are two different things. if i read this correctly, he is going to pastor a church?

A pastor typically preaches. Sorry for using the terms interchangeably. 😊

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18 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

Godless heathen speaking here...do either of those things involve an actual, negotiable, regular paycheck?

It depends on the church. To me, a pastor implies a more regular connection with the church than the title preacher. In my experience, a larger church (and one connected to a more mainstream denomination) is more likely to provide a full salary and is more likely to expect pastoring to be a full-time job. 

The Pentecostal churches I attended as a child in Arkansas tended to be small enough that they either didn't have a regular pastor (so relied on a rotation of preachers who would be paid for the day they came) or they did have a regular pastor who was paid a small fixed amount. He still was expected to work full-time. I don't know that I ever actually attended a church with a pastor whose day job was pastoring, though again I know that is standard with some denominations. Thinking specifically of the local Methodist and Baptist pastors where I live. 

I think once we find out more about the church in question, we will know more about Ben's "job."

Edited by Zella
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I hope he's better at preaching than he is talking. Ben takes a hot minute before he can get the first word out and then his speech is filled with ahhs, emms, more pauses, a half laugh, then a few words. That's gonna be one long ass sermon.

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Ben's hours also depend on the size of the church. He may well be a junior pastor or a youth pastor, or something similar. I don't think we will easily find the church. When Ben worked at the other church, it was never confirmed where it was other than the town.

Edited by emmawoodhouse
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42 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

Godless heathen speaking here...do either of those things involve an actual, negotiable, regular paycheck?

Depends on the church. Most churches can't afford much these days. 

Edited by Churchhoney
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4 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Ben's hours also depend on the size of the church. He may well be a junior pastor or a youth pastor, or something similar. I don't think we will easily find the church. When Ben worked at the other church, it was never confirmed where it was other than the town.

Yep. I never attended a church large enough to have substaff, but I think that sort of a job would be more likely for him. Would also have a substantially smaller salary than main pastor. 

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5 minutes ago, Zella said:

Yep. I never attended a church large enough to have substaff, but I think that sort of a job would be more likely for him. Would also have a substantially smaller salary than main pastor. 

As entry level, I have a feeling this is the type of position he landed. Is a church really going to entrust itself to a 25 year old rookie pastor? Even Jeremy was older when he got his gig at what appears to have been a much smaller church.

eta: Can we talk about Jessa as a pastor's wife? 😂😂😂😂😂

Edited by emmawoodhouse
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25 minutes ago, Zella said:

Yep. I never attended a church large enough to have substaff, but I think that sort of a job would be more likely for him. Would also have a substantially smaller salary than main pastor. 

I think it's virtually certain that he'll be in some kind of assistant position. There are plenty of older guys with experience needing jobs in the field, so at his age he's highly unlikely to surpass any of those candidates. 

As you can see here, as a beginner he's not going to get rich be able to feed his family on this. 

According to the USDOL, 2019 wages for full-time clergy go like this --

 Average for lowest-paid 10%       $12.89 per hour  ($26,810 -- annual salary) 

 next 25% up   $17.70  per hour  ($36,810 -- annual salary) 

 Median wage (at the exact middle of the distribution) ''''$24.23  per hour  ($50,400 -- annual salary) 

 Average for quartile just above the median      $31.41 per hour  ($65,320 -- annual salary)  

Average for top 10 percent of earners      $41.81 per hour     ($86,970 -- annual salary)

States vary pretty widely. In West Virginia and Idaho, for example, the median wage is much lower than the national one, while in New York and Washington State, among others, it's quite a bit higher. 

 Arkansas' wages match up to the national distribution very closely, though.

 https://www.bls.gov/oes/current/oes212011.htm

 

 

 

 

20 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

 

eta: Can we talk about Jessa as a pastor's wife? 😂😂😂😂😂

This is my favorite part. 😈

Edited by Churchhoney
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I wonder if Ben is working at the place where Jessa redid the church nursery?

I can just imagine how that convo went down.

Jessa: Looks like the nursery could use some Joanna Gaines modernizing.

Church Lady: Really? We think its just fine.

J: My sisters and I are practically interior decorators. We'd love to do it over.

CL: Hmmm, I don't know. We have the lovely characters hand-painted on the walls by a long time parishioner.

J: (chuckles) We can work around them.

CL: I think we would miss the bright and cheerful yellow walls.

J: I have a beautiful red rug I can donate. When would you like us to start? Monday?

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It amazes me how Jessa can't see how great she would look(I know, she probably already thinks she looks great)with a decent wardrobe and hair cut! She looks absolutely hideous!

Edited by Madtown
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16 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Thanks for posting this.

He is 500 times better than his brother-in-law, Jer the Mighty Influencer and Breakout Star of Los Angeles. 

In his message, his affect, his writing and logic and rhetoric, and his delivery. 

And I'm pretty sure I'd say that even if I didn't despise Jeremy's arrogance. 

(And I hope both of them read here.) 

Edited by Churchhoney
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Jessa in that saggy baggy rumpled cardigan with her big long mop of hair, looks like she just rolled out of bed. Has she no clue how sloppy she looks in those photos? Does she ever think that there might - somewhere in the world, even at a thrift store near her - be a cardigan that, oh, I don't know, FITS her arms and torso while still modestly covering her oh-so-tempting HOT DUGGAR DAUGHTER arms and shoulders and breasts?

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