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Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

Chris Knight

By Chris Knight
in Counting On

Scarlett45
Message added by Scarlett45

The Duggars post about politics on social media frequently, but these social media posts are not an invitation to discuss politics here in this forum. This rule extends to Duggar adjacent families, friends, associates etc. Such discussions are a violation of the Politics Policy. 

I understand with recent current events there may be a desire to discuss certain social media postings of those in the Duggar realm as they relate to politics- this is not the place for those discussions. If you believe someone has violated forum rules, report them, do not respond or engage.

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Genevrier

Genevrier

On 12/25/2017 at 3:06 PM, Churchhoney said:

The fairest babe that has entered life this year, and become the sunbeam of a family, is not, as its mother perhaps fondly calls it, a little “angel,” or a little “innocent,” but a little “sinner.” Alas! as it lies smiling and crowing in its cradle, that little creature carries in its heart the seeds of every kind of wickedness! Only watch it carefully, as it grows in stature and its mind developes, and you will soon detect in it an incessant tendency to that which is bad, and a backwardness to that which is good. You will see in it the buds and germs of deceit, evil temper, selfishness, self-will, obstinacy, greediness, envy, jealousy, passion—which, if indulged and let alone, will shoot up with painful rapidity. Who taught the child these things? Where did he learn them? The Bible alone can answer these questions!—Of all the foolish things that parents say about their children there is none worse than the common saying, “My son has a good heart at the bottom. He is not what he ought to be; but he has fallen into bad hands. Public schools are bad places. The tutors neglect the boys. Yet he has a good heart at the bottom.”—The truth, unhappily, is diametrically the other way. The first cause of all sin lies in the natural corruption of the boy’s own heart, and not in the school.

Wow. That is just vile.

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Lady Edith
Lady Edith

Imho if you are pro-life, BE PRO LIFE.  That is, be pro every STAGE of life, not just in utero.  Why doesn’t pro life include teens?  Elders?  Suppprt QUALITY public education for all of our children.

Arwen Evenstar
Arwen Evenstar

Dammit, I wish they'd all stop spreading misinformation about abortion.  Most women who seek abortion don't do it at the stage of that ultrasound image Dustbin posted unless there are severe abnormali

IntoTheMystic
IntoTheMystic

I went on a couple of those ATI approved 'Journey to the Heart' brainwashings back in the day when I was a teenager. I think they might have been called something different. I don't really remember. M

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FakeJoshDuggar

FakeJoshDuggar

1 hour ago, Sew Sumi said:

Didn't Emily's pet kefir have a French name? I'm blanking...

Anyway, here's Jessa's boys' 10 month picture comparison.

I don’t think they look anything alike. But maybe that’s just me. 

 

I dont know, Sew, but gloodles will always be a thing. 

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Jynnan tonnix

Jynnan tonnix

To me, they do look a lot alike on these photos. Their smiles are almost identical in shape, ad while babies' features are doughy enough that it's sometimes hard to make out real structure, their noses and eyes appear to be pretty close as well. I think there's a bit of difference in what will become their bone structure, but I think they will always look like brothers.

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PikaScrewChu

PikaScrewChu

Dullard was the son-in-law who looked good on paper while Ben was the train wreck.

Ben probably thanks every deity out there on a daily basis for no longer being the scapegoat out of the Duggar in-laws. I can't remember Benessa getting as much hatred on social media that Dullard has generated.

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madpsych78

madpsych78

It still amazes me that Ben and Jeremy are even that close given their huge age differences. Ben and Austin would have made more sense based on age. 

Wait...when Austin and Joy got married, didn't Jeremy post a welcome to the family message while including Ben and excluding Derick?

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lascuba

lascuba

2 hours ago, Marigold said:

I'd love to hear the private conversations of jessa and Ben regarding Dillweed getting booted off the show.  

I bet they can't stand him. 

There's probably a personality clash, but honestly, if anything I think that Ben is jealous of Derick's freedom to speak their "truths." I think that when Ben appears to be unhappy, it's because TLC/ JB/Jessa put him on a tight leash regarding what he can say publicly. 

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floridamom

floridamom

For a while there, Ben was posting hateful comments about Catholics. I'm sure his belief about that has not changed at all. He simply stopped posting his beliefs about that. I'm sure either Jessa or Jim Bob put a lid on that for the sake of $$$ and their TV show. He, and they all, still believe those things. Let's not forget that. Jeremy also believes these things, remember his awful comments about Catholic Christians? Derick just didn't know when to quit, so TLC decided for him when he was going to quit....the tv show, that is.

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Churchhoney

Churchhoney

(edited)
1 hour ago, DangerousMinds said:

I agree, Bin and Jeremy believe the same things. They also believe in being hypocritical and disingenuous for the sake of keeping the easy $$ coming in.

To be fair, Bin may be doing it only partly for money and partly to keep Jessa from hitting him in the head with a pipe wrench. 

Edited by Churchhoney
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Churchhoney

Churchhoney

11 minutes ago, Marigold said:

Ben and jeremy clammed up because they have more common sense than Derick. 

Derick is delusional and is impulsive. 

Ben and Jeremy have cracked the code that they need to be quiet on certain topics. 

I think you're basically right about this.

However, this scenario also leads me to conclusions about the morality and ethics of the two people involved who are using their common sense.

I have zero respect for people who go on "reality" tv, claiming to show their lives, of which they're purportedly deeply proud because they're lives of strong Christian belief.  And who then -- for money and nothing but money --  go on to completely lie-by-omission about things that are the very essence of their Christian lives of virtue. To be clear, I already lost all respect for Bin when he went with the lie that he founded a football camp, so this is just more of the same. 

You can have common sense and still be a person of highly questionable morality. A lot of criminals have quite a bit of common sense. Those are the ones who get away with everything, and there are quite a few of them.

And I don't think the correct Jesus would approve of B and J's being quiet on certain topics either. ....  

I think it's quite notable that we hear Bin and Jer talking about pretty much nothing religion-related except for suspiciously non-specific blather about their deep love for books written by the exact same angry Calvinists that Der quotes. Except they do it without quoting them, so people may imagine that those books are all about brotherly love and so on. They're not, however. They're about hellfire, damnation, the evils of Catholics and homosexuals and the original sin of infants. Exact same stuff that Der says.

Now, I think it's perfectly fine for them to believe all that theology. People have different beliefs and in realms like that who actually knows what's correct, in the largest sense? But I don't think it's fine to go on tv and lie about it. If you want to exhibit yourself as somebody admirable -- and they do -- then I think it's your duty to show people who you really are. 

I missed the part where Jesus said, Go forth and lie about your beliefs regarding me! So I put B and J in the exact same basket as JB and M -- people who make money by lying about the things that they claim mean the most to them. 

Yeah, it's cleverer than the way Der lives. But good? Nah. They're all a bunch of total hypocrites who lie for money, in my opinion. I can't admire that in anybody.

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BitterApple

BitterApple

36 minutes ago, Marigold said:

Ben and jeremy clammed up because they have more common sense than Derick. 

Derick is delusional and is impulsive. 

Ben and Jeremy have cracked the code that they need to be quiet on certain topics. 

I agree. These people all believe the same stuff, Ben and Jeremy are just smart enough to realize offensive tweets means less money in their bank accounts. Derelict either couldn't connect those dots or he's totally unhinged and no longer cares.

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Temperance

Temperance

(edited)
12 hours ago, madpsych78 said:

It still amazes me that Ben and Jeremy are even that close given their huge age differences. Ben and Austin would have made more sense based on age.

At the Bontrager/Maxwell wedding, they did a run through of their beliefs starting with quiverfull. Mr. Bontrager, who did most of the talking, said a whole thing about how it's bad to have too sixteen-year-olds be best friends, because neither has any wisdom. Wisdom comes from age and so you should have your kids' best friends be older than them. He then called out his kids' best friends, who were present and had them stand up. But Jeremy and Ben would be a perfect example. 

Edited by Temperance
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Jynnan tonnix

Jynnan tonnix

53 minutes ago, Temperance said:

At the Bontrager/Maxwell wedding, they did a run through of their beliefs starting with quiverfull. Mr. Bontrager, who did most of the talking, said a whole thing about how it's bad to have too sixteen-year-olds be best friends, because neither has any wisdom. Wisdom comes from age and so you should have your kids' best friends be older than them. He then called out his kids' best friends, who were present and had them stand up. But Jeremy and Ben would be a perfect example. 

I can sort of understand arranged marriages, which often work out in the cultures which practice them. I can understand introducing your kids to slightly older and hopefully wiser counterparts in hopes that they hit it off...But how do you actually make sure they will become best friends? Other than just making sure they don't meet anyone of their own age who they might gravitate to instead. Wait, I think I answered my own question.

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Arwen Evenstar

Arwen Evenstar

1 hour ago, madpsych78 said:

So Jeremy is a model for Ben, who is a model for Jeremy?

Not sure if that applies to Jeremy, sine his family is more conservative Baptist than IFB and more Fundy types. Jeremy 

‘s Family has no issues with women wearing pants or women having a vocation, allowing their kids to attend public school, attend college, compete in sports, play professional sports, and a small glass of wine now and again being fine.

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Sew Sumi

Sew Sumi

1 hour ago, madpsych78 said:

So Jeremy is a model for Ben, who is a model for Jeremy?

They become "mentors" when you become an adult. Jeremy has a couple. I'm not sure who Ben is looking up to these days, maybe a favorite professor? 

Derelict? Fugeddaboutit. He thinks the world revolves around him, and we must all look to him for his pearls of wisdom. Yes, my eyes were rolled into the back of my head as I typed that. 

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Mollie

Mollie

8 minutes ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

Not sure if that applies to Jeremy, sine his family is more conservative Baptist than IFB and more Fundy types. Jeremy 

‘s Family has no issues with women wearing pants or women having a vocation, allowing their kids to attend public school, attend college, compete in sports, play professional sports, and a small glass of wine now and again being fine.

Jeremy was homeschooled until high school.  His parents let him go to a regular high school so he could play soccer on the school team.  

GeeGolly

GeeGolly

I go back & forth with Derick's outward prejudice and the rest of the clans quietness. I think the Duggars have given enough away to show their rigid and judgmental colors, Derick gives it all up and Jeremy appears to be a little more discreet in what he shares. 

Derick's mission in life is to, well, mission. Is that Jeremy's? I hang with a lot of folks and I don't necessarily know all their beliefs and thoughts, and I don't think they're lying by omission. Maybe Jeremy share's his beliefs for preaching or while fellowshipping and not in every day life. 

Like I said, I go back and forth. Everything Duggar and Duggar related makes my brain hurt in one way or another.

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Arwen Evenstar

Arwen Evenstar

3 hours ago, Mollie said:

Jeremy was homeschooled until high school.  His parents let him go to a regular high school so he could play soccer on the school team.  

Even though  he was homeschooled, they dixintinued it once they saw his opportunities were limited.  His schooling probably had to meet some standards in the state he’s from.  In contrast to the Duggars SOTRDT, he was able to attend university on am athletic scholarship.

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kaleidoscope

kaleidoscope

The fact that Jeremy went to a public high school because of soccer meant that he actually played with other kids while being schooled at home.  Games!  Friends!  Hopefully Ben and Jessa will take a small clue from this and allow their boys outside contact with other children.

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Churchhoney

Churchhoney

24 minutes ago, kaleidoscope said:

The fact that Jeremy went to a public high school because of soccer meant that he actually played with other kids while being schooled at home.  Games!  Friends!  Hopefully Ben and Jessa will take a small clue from this and allow their boys outside contact with other children.

Somewhere, though, I read something in which Jeremy blamed his "falling away," or whatever, and his supposed dance with the devil that meant he eventually had to reconvert on his experience in that regular high-school environment. That that's where things all started going down hill for him and he fell into sin. So there's that message going on as well, I think. It was in some autobiographical statement of his somewhere. Although that may be more a typical conversion-story-for-public-consumption than anything else. Who knows. 

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Mollie

Mollie

30 minutes ago, kaleidoscope said:

The fact that Jeremy went to a public high school because of soccer meant that he actually played with other kids while being schooled at home.  Games!  Friends!  Hopefully Ben and Jessa will take a small clue from this and allow their boys outside contact with other children.

Jeremy also went to a normal college and graduated with a degree in Business Administration.  He was homeschooled, but both his parents have college degrees, so it wasn't at all like being taught by Michelle Duggar.

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flyingdi

flyingdi

I think maybe Ben himself has let Jessa know there are different ways of raising your children.  Ben was home schooled but still played organize sports.  There  is no evidence Ben was blanket trained and he is still a good and God fearing man.  Maybe Jessa has caught on her parents weren't always right.

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EmeraldGirl

EmeraldGirl

Jessa’s kids are incredibly sweet and happy looking. And they seem naturally calm. I don’t care if she runs with the camera when they’re being cute - isn’t that what we all do? I’ll give her one or two more babies before I give up. Four kids would be a very small family for them. 

I’d still like to know where Ben is headed career-wise? I was almost positive that Jessa was going to use Jinger’s escape as a way to get herself out. I thought for sure those couples would end up in Texas together. 

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GeeGolly

GeeGolly

I think most things Jessa does and posts is to prove her family raised her right. She acts out a script from the play of FU Interwebz. I don't see her giving a thought to how Ben and Jeremy were raised other than thinking that they must have prayed right because admitting anything else to herself is also admitting her parents did things wrong. That is something Jessa can't handle. She would have to believe her mother's blanket training was cruel, her father spending money on politics rather than feeding and properly housing his children was an okay priority, that her mother perming preteen girls hair because some religious head said to was a valid reason, that her parents letting her marry a boy she barely knew because sex is unavoidable and premarital sex is a sin was holy.

I don't think Jessa is ready to admit those things to herself. Because if she does her childhood was a lie under the guise of religion and her parents are naive followers.

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lascuba

lascuba

26 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I think most things Jessa does and posts is to prove her family raised her right. She acts out a script from the play of FU Interwebz. I don't see her giving a thought to how Ben and Jeremy were raised other than thinking that they must have prayed right because admitting anything else to herself is also admitting her parents did things wrong. That is something Jessa can't handle. She would have to believe her mother's blanket training was cruel, her father spending money on politics rather than feeding and properly housing his children was an okay priority, that her mother perming preteen girls hair because some religious head said to was a valid reason, that her parents letting her marry a boy she barely knew because sex is unavoidable and premarital sex is a sin was holy.

I don't think Jessa is ready to admit those things to herself. Because if she does her childhood was a lie under the guise of religion and her parents are naive followers.

What makes Jessa so frustrating to me is that she, more than any of the rest of them, appears to be a thinker, but she's really quick to shut that off when cognitive dissonance makes an appearance. I think that's why she's such an enthusiastic blocker and snarky poster/talking head instead of just ignoring haters like Jill does or actively engaging like Derick. Because she can't come up with a logical response to the critics--those haters make way too much sense and she can't handle the fact that she can't come to coherent defense of her beliefs and lifestyle. She knows that Derick is one who looks crazy and wrong when he's responding to people on twitter even though she has the same beliefs he does, but she can't think of a better way to respond, So she blocks everyone who's even slightly snarky to her, because the alternative is to think a good comeback, and there isn't any, which is awful because then she has to start to wonder WHY there's no good comeback for the evil heathen arguments.

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Arwen Evenstar

Arwen Evenstar

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

I think most things Jessa does and posts is to prove her family raised her right.

So I guess since they weren’t allowed friends so they could see how other families did things, kept house, etc.  the piling up of filthy nappies was “learned behavior”?

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flyingdi

flyingdi

(edited)
2 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I think most things Jessa does and posts is to prove her family raised her right. She acts out a script from the play of FU Interwebz. I don't see her giving a thought to how Ben and Jeremy were raised other than thinking that they must have prayed right because admitting anything else to herself is also admitting her parents did things wrong. That is something Jessa can't handle. She would have to believe her mother's blanket training was cruel, her father spending money on politics rather than feeding and properly housing his children was an okay priority, that her mother perming preteen girls hair because some religious head said to was a valid reason, that her parents letting her marry a boy she barely knew because sex is unavoidable and premarital sex is a sin was holy.

I don't think Jessa is ready to admit those things to herself. Because if she does her childhood was a lie under the guise of religion and her parents are naive followers.

I don't necessarily disagree with this.  I'm just saying Ben is a wholly different man than his father in law.  Ben doesn't seem to mind cooking or cleaning.  He seems like a gentle man.  He gets down on the floor to play with his boys without turning it into a competition.  I think he may be showing Jessa there are other ways to raise children without being negative about her upbringing.

Edited by flyingdi
Because proper English is a good thing!
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Churchhoney

Churchhoney

1 hour ago, EmeraldGirl said:

Jessa’s kids are incredibly sweet and happy looking. And they seem naturally calm. I don’t care if she runs with the camera when they’re being cute - isn’t that what we all do? I’ll give her one or two more babies before I give up. Four kids would be a very small family for them. 

I’d still like to know where Ben is headed career-wise? I was almost positive that Jessa was going to use Jinger’s escape as a way to get herself out. I thought for sure those couples would end up in Texas together. 

I think he works or volunteers or something part time at a nearby church, doesn't he? And he's still working on the Moody courses? .... So if that's the case, he isn't in a position to move at the moment, I don't think. Once he's finished that certificate or degree or whatever it is, I'm guessing he'll look for a more substantial church job. And maybe he will look for one in Texas ... 

I have my doubts about Jessa ultimately being enthusiastic about that, though, I must say. I think she does miss Jinger, but I expect she might miss having the services of the TTH available more, when it came right down to it. ... Also not clear that Bin could find a Texas job that was really close to Jer and JInger either, which I think Jessa would certainly want. Laredo isn't huge, so suitable jobs wouldn't be plentiful. If they lived in San Antonio or one of the other big cities he'd have more favorable job market. 

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flyingdi

flyingdi

53 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

I think he works or volunteers or something part time at a nearby church, doesn't he? And he's still working on the Moody courses? .... So if that's the case, he isn't in a position to move at the moment, I don't think. Once he's finished that certificate or degree or whatever it is, I'm guessing he'll look for a more substantial church job. And maybe he will look for one in Texas ... 

I have my doubts about Jessa ultimately being enthusiastic about that, though, I must say. I think she does miss Jinger, but I expect she might miss having the services of the TTH available more, when it came right down to it. ... Also not clear that Bin could find a Texas job that was really close to Jer and JInger either, which I think Jessa would certainly want. Laredo isn't huge, so suitable jobs wouldn't be plentiful. If they lived in San Antonio or one of the other big cities he'd have more favorable job market. 

I agree as to where I think Jessa and Jill are the most adverse to too much change.  I think Jessa enjoys knowing everything there is to know about her environment.  I don't think she enjoys feeling out of control.  If she did move to Texas she would rely heavily on Jinger.

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BitterApple

BitterApple

1 hour ago, flyingdi said:

I don't necessarily disagree with this.  I'm just saying Ben is a wholly different man than his father in law.  Ben doesn't seem to mind cooking or cleaning.  He seems like a gentle man.  He gets down on the floor to play with his boys without turning it into a competition.  I think he may be showing Jessa there are other ways to raise children without being negative about her upbringing.

I agree. I remember during their wedding planning, Jessa was stating all the reasons she hated cake, and Bin cut in and said you don't want to offend people who make wedding cakes for a living. So I do think there's some measure of self-awareness and sensitivity to others' feelings which is the polar opposite of Boob. 

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Scarlett45
Message added by Scarlett45

The Duggars post about politics on social media frequently, but these social media posts are not an invitation to discuss politics here in this forum. This rule extends to Duggar adjacent families, friends, associates etc. Such discussions are a violation of the Politics Policy. 

I understand with recent current events there may be a desire to discuss certain social media postings of those in the Duggar realm as they relate to politics- this is not the place for those discussions. If you believe someone has violated forum rules, report them, do not respond or engage.

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