Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[Literata]

 

As many others have posted, I really don't feel like these two are a lasting fit.  If it was just their age against them, that wouldn't necessarily be disastrous. My parents were married young, my dad was 19, mom was 21.  That being said they both had jobs, mom had an associates degree and they BOTH worked, and it was HARD.  They are still married nearly 36 years later.  Its possible.  Jessa doesn't even seem to like Ben, seems like he's more of a status symbol, look at me the first duggar girl to go into a courtship.  He's so young I don't think he really knows what he's getting in to.  I truly hope if these two do get married they do some NFP (they won't i'm sure, but wouldn't that be great) before starting their family right off the bat.  I don't believe either of them are ready to be married let alone parents.  I don't feel that way about Jill and Derick, while I personally would have waited to get pregnant, I think they are a good match and have the maturity to put the other person's needs in front of their own.

Agree with all of this. Unfortunately, though, the die has been cast, and Jessa and Ben WILL marry -- guaranteed. I think J'Chelle and her sisters are coaching her to be "sweeter" to Ben, but ITA -- she's not that into him (and has anyone else noticed, seriously, that his head is too small for his body?). My prediction: This will be, a few years down the road, an unhappy union ... but I'm not sure the Duggar kids understand the concepts of being compatible and happy, so maybe they'll simply accept being unhappy, pray about it, and put on a happy face. (We're already seeing Jana do that, right?)

[McManda]

I'm sure it's been mentioned here somewhere (so many threads!), but seewalds.com has to be a joke, right? I mean, does Ben's dad really believe what he's writing? Because on August 8th ... (And this is just the beginning. I couldn't even read the whole, drawn out dissertation.)

   

Is it just me, or is it an epidemic in conservative, Christian circles? Young people putting marriage off, either intentionally or not, until we all begin to wonder, will they ever get married? These young men and women of excellent character, pushing thirty and beyond, with not a prospect in sight, is troubling.

 

Guess I'm wholly screwed, then. (I'm 28.) It also doesn't say much of his son's future sister-in-law.

 

Shed's some light on why he pushed Ben into an engagement at 19, I guess. :/

Edited September 5, 2014 by McManda

[CarolMK]

Ugh, the thought of Ben working directly for Jim Bob and living in the warehouse room literally makes me sick. Why in the world Jim Bob wants Ben under his thumb is beyond me. Ben does have an insurance license, doesn't he? Maybe Jessa should get hers as well and the two of them could at least work selling insurance, just like Jim Bob and Michelle did years ago. It's pretty obvious Jessa isn't much into being a housewife..cooking isn't that interesting to her, and she seems over taking care of her siblings. Why not have her work for a while, it was okay for MIchelle but not for any of their daughters?

[Fuzzysox]

Michelle and Boob got into the real estate business not insurance and Boob III only worked as an assistant in an insurance office but  he does not have an insurance license.

[joanofarch4]

Jessa has expressed an interest in fashion and cosmetology; even in one of the earlier shows, after a People magazine shoot, it was suggested that she and Ginger were taking notes from the stylist and photographer.  Especially if she worked only with women, that wouldn't be any more defrauding than Jill and Jana's midwife/doula careers, would it?  (Eliminated all quotations marks because there would have been too many of them.)

Edited September 5, 2014 by joanofarch4

[leighroda]

I'm sure it's been mentioned here somewhere (so many threads!), but seewalds.com has to be a joke, right? I mean, does Ben's dad really believe what he's writing? Because on August 8th ... (And this is just the beginning. I couldn't even read the whole, drawn out dissertation.)

Guess I'm wholly screwed, then. (I'm 28.) It also doesn't say much of his son's future sister-in-law.

Shed's some light on why he pushed Ben into an engagement at 19, I guess. :/

Crap... I'm 32 and I pissed my life away with silly things like college... I guess I'm a spinster now... Where's the nearest cat shelter?

[beagletime]

I'm watching the Mother's Day episode right now.  Seeing Jim Bob and Michelle and the Seewalds discuss Ben moving to the Duggars.  This sure seems like an arranged marriage.   The fathers are negotiating the terms.   I don't agree with their beliefs at all, but I hope Ben and Jessa (especially Jessa) are able to make a happy life.

[BitterApple]

Crap... I'm 32 and I pissed my life away with silly things like college... I guess I'm a spinster now... Where's the nearest cat shelter?

Sign me up as well. I'm 36. Dammit, I knew I shouldn't have wasted my time on grad school! Imagine throwing my whole life away when I could have married a prince like Bin when I was 19. Hmm, now do I want short-haired or long-haired cats? 

[leighroda]

Sign me up as well. I'm 36. Dammit, I knew I shouldn't have wasted my time on grad school! Imagine throwing my whole life away when I could have married a prince like Bin when I was 19. Hmm, now do I want short-haired or long-haired cats?

Why choose you can get some of each. We could move in together if you want to split the cost if yarn and cat food.

Even if I met a prince like bin at a younger age, I'm impure anyway I've held hands with boys I'm not courting.

[fesspoire]

Unbelieveable...

 

[BitterApple]

leighroda, lulz! 

 

fesspoire, all I have to say is Jesus take the wheel. Do these people realize they're buying gifts for a woman whose father is a multi-millionaire? If they were down and out do they really think Princess Jessa would use any of her money to help them out? Our society is approaching scary levels of stupidity... 

[lottiedottie]

I wonder if Benessa will find the time to write thank you notes to those people who sent gifts. I'm guessing...no. I am not surprised that people are sending gifts...this is just one giant gift grab. What assholes.

[BuddyMom]

There is no way in hell I would send a wedding gift to Ben and Jessa. If these "fans" are such supporters of the Duggar ministry, there are many charitable contritions that can be made to Christian organizations. What a f*cking scam these people have going.

[bigskygirl]

It boggles my mind about people spending money sending these two nitwits gifts. There are abused animals, veterans coming back with PTSD and other serious physical and mental illnesses, volunteer fire departments struggling for equipment to put out fires or save people's lives, but lets give presents to a couple of obnoxious, over bearing, smug, know-it-all types who should be getting off their lazy behinds to earn things. UGH!!!  BLAH!!!

[Fostersmom]

Re: the extravagant registries, to me this is a symptom of two spoiled children who have no idea of the value of a dollar.  If you've never had to go to work, you don't have a clue what $1,000 really means (i.e. how many hours of work it takes to earn that amount of money).  And besides that, don't the Duggars already have fancy Mac computers?  They're really treating this wedding as a chance to get brand-new toys.

 

I think half the problem is Jessa, and possibly Ben too, never had her own money to be accountable for or real things to budget for. Jessa might have had some pocket money when she was a kid, a few dollars at her birthday from random relatives, and probably a bit more now, but has she ever once had a real bill? Cell phone or car insurance as a teen? Or even paying for her own gas? I doubt Ben has ever had a bill either. I'd bet both are on family cell plans and still on their parents car insurance. Both of them are clueless. I'd bet Ben's dad gave him money when they started courting to pay for their dates. Plus, the few bills Jessa has been involved with, maybe running the credit card to pay for groceries or knowing what the total was at a restaurant, are so out of whack because of her family size, the doesn't know what a realistic bill is. A $2000 stock up trip to Aldi's or Sam's club when the Bates family is coming for a week isn't normal. That's groceries for 6 months for a newly married couple with no kids. 

 

It doesn't help the registry that Jessa has very few personal possessions. What does she have? A few bits of clothes she doesn't share with her sisters and a couple necklaces? Maybe some grubby flip flops. I doubt she has her own curling iron or flat iron, I know I shared with my mom and sister when I lived at home, they were just in our one bathroom. Hell, we all used the same hair brushes and combs, dumped in a drawer. We had our own makeup and toothbrushes, but pretty much shared everything else. I think Ben is the oldest and then has a string of sisters, so he's probably got more personal stuff than Jessa, but did either one of them ever get a real say in what was there for them to use? Mommy probably shopped for Ben and Jessa probably left it up to Jana and Jill. 

 

Both Jill and now Jessa have registered for all these giant pots and pans…. you know, normal cookware when making dinner for 20. Do you think Jessa even would know what to do with an 8 inch frying pan? Or a 4 cup sauce pan? LOL! I can see her looking at it like it's a kids toy or belongs in a dollhouse. 

 

I don't think each Duggar kid has their own laptop. I'd guess maybe some of the girls share one or two and then maybe a couple more are there for the older boys, but I don't see Jessa taking one with her. I won't guess on the situation at Ben's house, but he might not have a personal one either. 

[Lillybee]

I know that this would be wrong, but if I had the guts, I would send a donation to Planned Parenthood in their names.

[WTFFF]

 

The thing that would most worry me about a marriage between Jessa and Ben is the talking heads. Jessa will often say something sarcastic or snarky and Ben will give her a look like "Are you making fun of me?" That does not bode well for the future to me. Jessa needs someone who can either keep up with her or ignore her sense of humor. Ben seems far too serious for this.

 

Agreed.  Ben is too, well, immature and insecure to be with someone like Jessa long-term and be happy.

 

I think Jessa will be fine - she's always struck me as more pragmatic and not expecting a fairy tale from marriage, but I don't know what happens once Ben gets more and more insecure and starts feeling emasculated and mocked by her sense of humor. 

 

At this point, I couldn't give less of a rat's ass about Ben's happiness in marriage - young or not, he's a total asshole - but I hope he doesn't make Jessa miserable in turn.  I don't care for Jessa much, but Ben seems like an awful husband just waiting to happen.

[RazzleberryPie]

leighroda, lulz! 

 

fesspoire, all I have to say is Jesus take the wheel. Do these people realize they're buying gifts for a woman whose father is a multi-millionaire? If they were down and out do they really think Princess Jessa would use any of her money to help them out? Our society is approaching scary levels of stupidity... 

this sounds like stories of those people during the Depression who would save money to send Shirley Temple gifts and toys....at least her parents had the sense to donate them to childrens hospitals and orphanages.

[DangerousMinds]

Unbelieveable...

 

LOL, Jessa even leaves the G off the end of her words in writing! SMH. And no surprise that her fans use "would of" .. . . . 

Edited September 7, 2014 by DangerousMinds

[McManda]

LOL, Jessa even leaves the G off the end of her words in writing! SMH. And no surprise that her fans use "would of" .. . . .

 

At least she knows that there's supposed to be a 'g' there and got the apostrophe instead?

[RazzleberryPie]

They didn't start dropping all of the Gs at the end of words, until the Bates had their show, and were always 'fixin' to do this and that.

[overbooked]

Apple laptops seem to be sprouting like dandelions at casa Duggar. When the girls were working on their book last season, each of them  had her  own computer. In a recent photo, James had one with his name clearly on it. Since the logo is never blocked out I'm guessing they're getting some $$$ from Apple for product placement. I think they use iPhones too.

[Ripley68]

Ben needs to stop trying to copy Derrick and shave off the scruff.

[NikSac]

Maybe talking like a three-year-old is a privilege of marriage. Jessa ought to practice in the prayer closet in case she and Bin somehow get hitched in a hurry and she needs to pull out the sweet voice and adoring side glances for the cameras. It would be both awesome and awful to see Princess Jessa doing that shtick. 

 

After seeing the latest episode (which was probably a rerun but I think it's fairly recent) I have this funny feeling Jessa and Bin may end up getting hitched in a really big hurry, if the chaperones dare to take a nap.

LOL, Jessa even leaves the G off the end of her words in writing! SMH. And no surprise that her fans use "would of" .. . . . 

 

Would of, could of, should of...

 

Wait that's not right? ;)

[charmed1]

I kind of like Jessa. I like that she sucks at cooking, she doesn't appear to be that into kids, and she might be a little vain. It all seems like her own little F.U. to her parents' belief system. It's a shame she wasn't given the opportunity to go to school and develop her own interests. And now she has to begin her life as as a brood mare with this dim-witted boy. I can tell that she's very attracted to Ben, but after going at it like rabbits for a couple months, I'm sure the shine will wear off and she'll wonder what the hell she got herself into. I keep hoping that something or someone will stop this upcoming train wreck, but it sadly seems like they're going to go through it.

Edited September 7, 2014 by charmed1

[lottiedottie]

I wonder if Jessa feels like she can wear the pants in this relationship with Bin? Like, she's just waiting to get married and she's going to tell him what it is going to be like. Maybe she is smarter than we think--she figured out that Bin is young, and malleable. This could get really interesting.

[CarolMK]

I agree that Jessa can probably get Ben to come around to her way of thinking after they're married. He's so in love with her, and now indebted to her dad for both work and a place to live, I just don't see him being this "authority figure" over her. In the meantime, I also see her sneaking off to the doctor after the wedding for quarlterly Depo-Provera shots. Nobody would have to know why they're not being "blessed" with little blessings righit after the wedding. She should go to either beauty school or something else that she's interested in, too..I hate the thought of her staying on the compound and continuing to teach her younger siblings while Michelle does God knows what (answer fan mail?) all day long. 

[floridamom]

Sorry to charm in here as the grammar person... re:  could of, would of, should of... I was taught that correct English states: could HAVE, would HAVE or should HAVE.  Some regions of the country have mis-pronunciations of these two words which can be heard as "of" instead of "have. Ok, I'll sit down now and continue to read and enjoy your comments..

[Absolom]

I'm hoping it's the Jessa found someone she could control thing rather than just hormones.

[jodo]

Jessa needs to bust loose and get out of that hoedown pdq!  Stuck there with dumbo aka Ben for the rest of her life?  It is obvious the thought of kissing and sex is driving the whole relationship and the only thing that will keep it together in the years to come will be their "fellowship!"  

 

Some company (Proactiv?) needs to lure Jessa in with a $$contract to be a spokesperson for them, she speaks well, is easy on the eyes, has a skin issue anyway and I think she would nail it and break the Duggar mold!!  Jessa if you are listening get out while you can!!  LOL  Dump Bumbo who is a mere child in a growing teen's body horned up all the time!  Going to live in that ridiculous room makes me lose all respect for the guy, wow!

 

I wonder if having the side hugs and being close was as "hard on" Derrick as it is on Bumbo?!    

Edited September 7, 2014 by jodo

[GEML]

Following up on a point about why Ben's parents would seek this out for their son from another thread.

Something that occurs to me is that I'm betting that Seewald Sr. probably has little education, but did pretty well in the pre-fab housing business until the 2008 housing crash. Now he's working 60 hours a week repairing car windows, and it's doubtful that the family's income is near what it was at the peak not even a decade ago.

It might be that he is someone who turned to JB for financial advice. Say what you want, JB is savvy about a lot of things. Perhaps it was even JB who suggested the windshield business - there's no way to know the full history of these families.

Looked at from that perspective, Ben's father may be thinking here is the opportunity not only to learn business skills from a man he admires, but be taken in as family. That could explain the eagerness, the idea of cutting grass being a "job"

and a few other loose ends.

[mimionthebeach]

Sorry to charm in here as the grammar person... re: could of, would of, should of... I was taught that correct English states: could HAVE, would HAVE or should HAVE. Some regions of the country have mis-pronunciations of these two words which can be heard as "of" instead of "have. Ok, I'll sit down now and continue to read and enjoy your comments..

Quite right. And audibly when you use the contraction, should've, etc., it can be more confusing. That said, I believe commenters here were poking gentle fun at one of Jessa's gift-sending posters who wrote "of" not "have".

[Literata]

 

Looked at from that perspective, Ben's father may be thinking here is the opportunity not only to learn business skills from a man he admires,

Judging from his blog, he seems to think Boob is somewhat of a giant dick.

[DangerousMinds]

Quite right. And audibly when you use the contraction, should've, etc., it can be more confusing. That said, I believe commenters here were poking gentle fun at one of Jessa's gift-sending posters who wrote "of" not "have".

Exactly!

[Fuzzysox]

I had a horrifying thought, who is washing Bin's clothes? Ewww hmmmm with all those white spots on his clothes (allegedly of course) going to prayer closet now.

[Sew Sumi]

Blessa posts The Ring that Boob Bought.

 

http://instagram.com/p/sqkxicDfr0/?modal=true

 

Someone got a screengrab of the underside. It's already dinged up and she's only had it less than a month. Aside from not going well with a band (and a very strange set would have to be made to frame that bypass), it's not made to endure the abuse that Jessa's upcoming lifestyle will give it....especially once the kids start coming.

[GEML]

Judging from his blog, he seems to think Boob is somewhat of a giant dick.

Nothing stings like someone you respect proving to be less than you thought he was. Especially when your child is involved.

[BitterApple]

Not a fan of the ring at all. I don't like the setting and unless they have a custom wrap band made, a regular band is going to look really awkward next to that offset diamond. 

[GEML]

Yes, I hope he bought it as part of a set. The band is very thin, and a set would be very pretty and provide heft to it while a plain gold circle might even squash 18K if she isn't careful.

I thought the diamond cut was pretty.

[Mariva]

I'm not one to knock anyone, even Ben, (IF he brought the ring with his own money, which is doubtful) for the cost or size of their engagement ring but I find it disconcerting how smug Jessa is being over a "rock and metal" from her unemployed & broke future husband. Is she basically commending Ben for weaseling a free ring from either her own dad or from a jewelry store somewhere in return for advertising? And really, a 5 minute or however long video so that we can examine every nick and scratch on her flimsy looking band?

Edited September 8, 2014 by Mariva

[abseedee]

I like the princess cut diamond but I don't like the band at all.  I'm not sure if the reflection of the light is making it look like that but, I see dings on the thin section at the top.  I also can't picture how the wedding band will work with it and as mentioned above I also hope Ben bought it as a set.  Jessa seems to love it though and I guess that is what matters.  But did she have to show every nook and cranny of it? 

 

edited to correct spelling.

Edited September 8, 2014 by abseedee

[floridamom]

Re Jessa's ring:  I used to work in the diamond industry and I see that Jessa has a "knife-edged shank on her ring. That isn't very comfortable. It's 18K? Wow, but 18 karat gold is softer than 14 karat and YES, the diagonal mounted stone would be harder to fit a wedding band unless it's part of a bridal set with matching band. Also when a diamond has pointed edges like hers does, they tend to chip. I agree with the comment that it's not suited for her anticipated lifestyle. I guess Bin/Ben wants to one up Derick... a larger stone and 18K gold to boot....

[ginger90]

The "modest" family has a daughter posting ring pictures including the size of the diamond. Interesting.

[floridamom]

Yeah, Ben might be a Boob Jr, but his rantings about the Catholic faith has to be attributed to the way he was raised. I look at the parents here. I believe that those are their beliefs too, otherwise, where would  this kid have gotten that mindset from? He's only 19..look at the parents. Since Jim Bob approved Ben in the first place to approach Jessa, it is my belief that they are in agreement with the Seewalds about other Christian faiths. And to all our Jewish posters here, Well, good luck to you in the afterlife! These families are elitist and prejudicial people.

[abseedee]

 I guess Bin/Ben wants to one up Derick... a larger stone and 18K gold to boot....

Binboob may have gotten a larger stone but, I think because Derick hand picked Jill's stone it's of better quality.

 

Yeah, Ben might be a Boob Jr, but his rantings about the Catholic faith has to be attributed to the way he was raised. I look at the parents here. I believe that those are their beliefs too, otherwise, where would  this kid have gotten that mindset from? He's only 19..look at the parents. Since Jim Bob approved Ben in the first place to approach Jessa, it is my belief that they are in agreement with the Seewalds about other Christian faiths. And to all our Jewish posters here, Well, good luck to you in the afterlife! These families are elitist and prejudicial people.

I agree.  Father like son.  They both love to rant and I see Binboob continuing to offend groups of people. JImboob may quetly agree with Bin's beliefs but he may try to put a lid on Bin if it is affecting the Duggar Family brand.

Edited September 8, 2014 by abseedee

[BitterApple]

Is Jessa's ring that much bigger than Jill's? They both look to be about a half a carat. I like the cut of Jessa's diamond but I think it would have been so much prettier if it had been set traditionally in a sparkly band. For some reason that setting just doesn't say "engagement ring" to me. I guess if she likes it, that's all that matters, but it's not a ring I could see myself wanting to wear twenty or thirty years down the road. 

 

I also give props to Derick who actually PAID for Jill's ring and didn't get if via Daddy or free advertising.

[abseedee]

Is Jessa's ring that much bigger than Jill's?

IIRC, Jill's is .63 and Jessa's is .75. 

[CofCinci]

"Buy used and save the difference".....

Looking at the current physical state and the trend/style of the band, I believe this is a "used" ring. Most likely purchased from a pawn shop rather than a jeweler because a jeweler could do 3 minutes of work to the ring and it would look so much better (and gain them more profit).

Posting pics of the ring comes across as so boastful and not in line with their morals (or the morals they sell to people).

Edited September 8, 2014 by CofCinci

[wanderwoman]

It looks like someone made that ring based off a wax mold. It wasn't done very well, though. It looks like whoever made it used too thin of a mold. Look at this page as an example. Www.rwilsonmfg.com/ladies_gems.html

Contrast those molds to Jessa's ring. I think the person who made Jess's ring used a lost wax technique and wasn't very good at it. The "dings" on the bottom aren't dings. They're tool marks for the wax cast holding channel that weren't burnished away well enough. I really hope he didn't pay much for it.

[starfire]

The band looks very uncomfortable to wear, the way it sticks out, I have never worn a ring like that, so I don't know for sure, but I imagine that a band that is flat against the finger would be much more comfortable.