Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[DangerousMinds]

How could Bin afford jewelry of any kind? Does he have pearl necklaces on the mind, lol? Or even know what that means?

[Iwadre]

Not to be creepy but I know that bracelet. They look exactly like the pearl necklace and bracelet I got from Kohls for my bridesmaids this year. They always have sales, you can get them like 50-75% off. If it's the same one the bracelet is $36.00. Should I break the news to Jessa?

 

http://www.kohls.com/product/prd-1554744/dyed-freshwater-cultured-pearl-crystal-stretch-bracelet-set.jsp

 

http://www.kohls.com/product/prd-1170945/pearlustre-by-imperial-sterling-silver-freshwater-cultured-pearl-simulated-crystal-necklace-stretch-bracelet-earring-set.jsp

[Fuzzysox]

Wow just read Bin's dad's blog. Total slam on Boob's lack of 
"allowing" his JessaBlessa to marry ole Bin. I hope Bin cheats because he is 19 and horny as hell----like most normal boys. Let him sow his wild oats and move on already. 

 

Bin is completely wasting his time courting Jessa because Boob has his eyes wide open on the Seewalds and as much as he might not like Jessa I don't think he will not allow her to marry and become poor because Bin has no job, etc.

Edited August 12, 2014 by Fuzzysox

[Higgins]

I know that my state schools have an agreement with one in-state community college system to accept certain classes for GE credit (math, science, english, ect.).

 

However, why does Ben need to transfer to U of A? Many community colleges offer outstanding degree programs that can help someone support a family. Many people I have known over the years have gotten their associates from CC and when they started working had their employer pay for them to get their B.S. while they were working. Unless Ben is wanting to have a job that requires a 4-year degree (there aren't many anymore because everything is shifting towards masters or higher) then he should just get an associate degree or look into trade school. 

The whole everything requires a masters thing is the biggest bumble fuck. The student loan scam that colleges are running is criminal. Easy money makes it so the colleges can charge outrageous tuition and it really pisses me off. When a $100,000 bachelor's degree doesn't qualify you for any work, the system is broken and it won't be long before the bubble bursts.

[mimionthebeach]

How could Bin afford jewelry of any kind? Does he have pearl necklaces on the mind, lol? Or even know what that means?

 

Maybe he bought used and saved the difference. I agree, no way he could afford "majestic" pearls. The other ones maybe...

[cereality]

If Ben and his parents are so anxious for Ben and Jessa to marry, why not have Ben just ask JB for her hand in marriage already? Either he'll say yes and they can move forward or no and they can move on and find Ben another fundie courtship that'll have him married in 3 months? Is it because they're afraid of hearing no and being cut off from the Duggar fame/fortune so they'd rather keep this going until they can get to a yes? Or do you think he's already asked for her hand (or Pa Seewald has asked JB's thoughts) and has been told "not yet -- you need to go to school, get a job etc" and that's why Pa Seewald is frustrated?

[Ljohnson1987]

Jessa is so immature. You'd think she was an 18 year old, the way she tweets and instagrams using Ben's last name. You're not engaged. Don't take the name. What if it doesn't work out? She'll have all of those social media reminders. 

[DangerousMinds]

More like a 13-year old, IMHO. Most 18-year olds seem to be more mature than that.

[mledawn]

Aren't most 18 year olds in some kind of post-secondary education as well? She's not around a group of peers, so she doesn't see an age-appropriate way to act.

[Marigny]

If Ben and his parents are so anxious for Ben and Jessa to marry, why not have Ben just ask JB for her hand in marriage already? Either he'll say yes and they can move forward or no and they can move on and find Ben another fundie courtship that'll have him married in 3 months? Is it because they're afraid of hearing no and being cut off from the Duggar fame/fortune so they'd rather keep this going until they can get to a yes? Or do you think he's already asked for her hand (or Pa Seewald has asked JB's thoughts) and has been told "not yet -- you need to go to school, get a job etc" and that's why Pa Seewald is frustrated?

I think that Pa Seewald approached JB first (cause you know he's going to have to put the ring on his credit card since BinBoob is broke) and got shut down. He either didn't tell Ben what was said in the conversation or told him very little. I say this because I can't see Bin not posting a veiled rant on FB. If Pops couldn't hold his tongue on that blog I can't even imagine what the doofus would say. 

[Sew Sumi]

Mr. BinBob's blog entry has hit the tabloids. Make of that what you will.

 

http://starcasm.net/archives/283276

[Fuzzysox]

So Mr. BinBob is saying oh if your horny as HELL get married young otherwise you will be sinning and having a ton of unmarried sex. *shudder*

[starfire]

I kind of wonder if JimBob (or his goons) confronted Bin about his anti-Catholic rant on Facebook, basically telling him to calm his shit down on social media if he wants to stay on the Benessa/TLC gravy train because they have a viewing audience that they can't tick off.  After Bin's dad got word of that, he got annoyed that someone else is trying to control his spawn, and this is his way of retaliating against Boob.

 

Who knows!

[DangerousMinds]

Sounds like Bin really needs some Pictures of Lily.

[SmallTownMom]

Wow, Ben's dad is kind of off the wall.  While I disagree with the Duggars that any touching, holding hands, hugging, kissing is wrong, getting married just because you might be horny is really stupid.

 

Duggars, let these young adults have some freedom.  They are not going to have sex with everybody they meet, and so what if they hug and kiss?  They might just find out that there is no spark before they are married and stuck with somebody they aren't attracted to.

 

And Papa Seewald?  Get married because you are horny?  Bad idea.  There are other ways of relieving that pressure.  And you don't really go blind.  Honest.

[Micks Picks]

Agree 100%, smalltownmom.  

 

I guess Bin's Pa is tickled to death with his unemployed, uneducated, anti-Catholic spawn, but we are not.  The kid needs a JOB and I guess there aren't enough windshields to be fixed for both of them.  So get the kid to a farm for the summer or something.  Do some work that shows you can do something other than dream about f-ing.

 

[cereality]

If this is something going on between JB and Pa Seewald -- either because JB said no to a hand in marriage or said Ben needed a job/education or reprimanded him because of the bad publicity on the anti-Catholic stuff -- and Pa Seewald has taken offense or the dads clash enough that this whole thing ends, I'll actually feel a bit bad for Ben and Jessa.

 

I don't know if they are actually in love with each other -- seems like a middle school romance. But Jessa seems to have gotten used to Ben or the idea of Ben -- the idea that she has someone to talk to and take selfies with and someone who will take her away from her current life. Ben -- well he seems to like having a girlfriend on his arm and is probably dreaming of the day they get to consummate. Either way only they can know if they love each other (or like each other enough to get married on the hope that they will fall in love as the years go by). If either JB or Pa Seewald put their foot down and break it off because that's what God (or they themselves) will, there will be some serious heartbreak. Zach Bates was apparently depressed for months after this break up and he hardly knew the girl (again - probably in love with the idea of her and the impending marriage) -- here they've spent ONE YEAR together taking selfies and showing the world how much they love and miss each other. That's going to be hard to get over esp. if it happens due to parental decisions. I suspect Ben will rebound quickly with some other fundie or some co-ed at U. Arkansas -- whether his parents know or not -- but Jessa -- I can see her going down the Jana road -- that incurable misery that happens when you feel like you'll be stuck some place for life.

[Sew Sumi]

There's no confirmation that BinBob is attending UofA. I guess we'll find out in a couple weeks when school starts and (if) he stops going on roadtrips. He did that last fall when he attended school; time will tell, I suppose.

[leighroda]

I read an article the other day about why courtship is failing, and I think a lot of the points the article brought up are what is happening in these fundie relationships. I saw the article on Facebook, but I'm not sure if I can find it again to link it. Basically a girl who was very into the courtship movement was talking to her grandmother who had previously stated she did not think the current courtship model would work... When the girl started noticing her friends who had done courtship the "right" way were getting divorced she went to her grandmother.

The grandmother said when she was young and dating there was only 1 rule, she was not allowed to date the same person twice in a row. Meaning if she had a ice cream date with bob on Wednesday, she would have to go on a date with bill on Friday if she wanted to be able to go to the dance on Saturday with bob. When I first read that I thought that was kinda odd, but the way they explained it actually made sense. When they were going out with several people, you are not really "giving away pieces of your heart" to someone... You probably aren't sitting and day dreaming your wedding with bob, when your getting ready for a date with bill. Plus you get the added bonus of learning what you do and don't like through experience, so when you do decide to exclusively date one person you know more of what you are looking for.

With these couples that are courting, at least with the duggar model, you are completely shielded from boys until you meet someone and are essentially dating with the intent to be engaged. A simple invitation to dinner is essentially a promise of engagement... Which is crazy overwhelming. Even though these relationships are safe physically, the amount of emotional attachment they have from the start with someone they barely know can't be healthy.

[JessDVD]

I saw the article also: http://www.thomasumstattd.com/2014/08/courtship-fundamentally-flawed/

 

and do agree with it, although really what all these people are getting at with this dating, courting, going steady, whatever they want to call it - they just want to avoid heartbreak. And in matters of men & women, heartbreak is going to happen. If it's important to you to keep physical limits before marriage (or if you want your kids to do so, when they're minors), there are ways to do your best to avoid that and none of them are intrinsic to courtship.

 

That said, I don't think a person has to *date* lots of people in order to know lots of different people to get an idea of what they want in their future spouse, they just need to get to know lots of people, by being around lots of people, but not all of those people at the same time. This is where the Duggars fall short - their kids don't seem to really ever have much time to talk to anyone of the opposite gender without their parents breathing down their necks. I think Jill got lucky (some of us do) in that the first guy was the right one, but I'm still not convinced that the same goes for Jessa.

[leighroda]

@JessDVD thank you for posting the article. I agree I didn't mean that you have to "date" to meet people, I just meant that is an aspect that is missed out when you are so sheltered. I also reread what I wrote and wanted to add... I don't think there is a right way to figure it all out... What works for me won't work for someone else... It just makes me sad that the duggers don't seem to give their children the same consideration. Courting may have worked for josh... But maybe down the line who knows.

[Ljohnson1987]

Benessa have been courting for 11 months. Isn't that like five year in Fundie World? 

[Sew Sumi]

This bit really reminded me of Boob's role in Jill and Jessa's courtships, particularly the bolded:" If she says you need to talk to her dad first, just move on to the next girl. Don’t let the fact that some women have controlling fathers keep you from dating the girls with more normal families. There are a lot of fish in the sea and some dads are nicer than others.  Remember that this man would have become your father-in-law, and controlling people tend to control everything they can."

 

I see this much more with Bin than Derick, obviously. After the anti-Catholic rants, I'm sure Boob gave BinBob quite the talking-to, and all of a sudden, Blessa is posting all this lovey-dovey, out of character stuff on her Instagram. TBH, I think BOTH of them have been reined in to a certain extent.

Edited August 14, 2014 by Sew Sumi

[BitterApple]

Oooh, Bin's dad went on an internet rant?! Do tell!

Where do the Seewalds fall on the Fundie-meter? Are they in batshit crazy Maxwell territory, Fundie-lite a la Derick or somewhere in the middle?

Also, if Bin actually shows up at U of A in September I will do naked cartwheels through Times Square.

[Sew Sumi]

Seewalds' (edited because it's in both Mike and Guinn's names) new blog; it launched this past Saturday:

 

http://seewalds.com/marrying-young/

 

I linked directly to the entry that appears to be a passive-aggressive dig at Boob and the way he handles courtship where his daughters are concerned. The Seewalds (Vision Forum, pre Doug Phillips sex scandal) seem to be a little more lenient in their "courtship rules" than the Duggars. Let's see how Pa Seewald handles things when some guy comes after Jessica (who I think is 18 or close to it) or the other older girl whose name I can't remember offhand.

 

Read the entry "Abuse of Women" to get his spin on where he stands religiously. His source material is Orthodox Presbyterian (ie. Puritan/Calvinist). This is not the board to go any deeper than that

Edited August 15, 2014 by Sew Sumi

[BitterApple]

Sew Sumi, thanks for the link! Wow, that post was definitely a shot at Boob!

So obviously Bin wants to get married and the Duggars are holding things up. Verrry interesting....

Although I don't agree with the premise of Mr. Seewald's post, I do think he made some good points on the absurdity of these rigid courtship rules.

[JessDVD]

Whoa, breaking news in relation to the talk about Mr. Seewald and Jim Bob: http://www.people.com/article/jessa-duggar-engaged-19-kids-and-counting?hootPostID=8b95753bf62735058308661e3c2557d7

 

Random observations within and without the article:  

 

I hope that Ben finds a marketable skill and soon. My preference (because I know he cares a lot about that) would be NOT to be absorbed into the Jim Bob empire but that's what I foresee.

 

I hope this is actually what Jessa wants and not just what has been arranged for her.

 

I appreciate the semi-ambiguity of the statement "We both want a big family" because anymore a "big" family is anything over 3.

 

Ben: "We don't feel pressure to get married" Everyone else: "LIES"

Edited August 15, 2014 by JessDVD

[Iwadre]

Happy Engagement to the Seewalds;) 

 

They do have one kind of chemistry. They want to rip each others clothes off! Watch the PEOPLE video. Stop bragging about waiting to start the physical side of your relationship. It's all they ever talk about. Everyone else finds it pretty creepy...

 

http://www.people.com/article/jessa-duggar-engaged-19-kids-and-counting?hootPostID=8b95753bf62735058308661e3c2557d7

[floridamom]

Wow! Thanks, JessDVD for this link. I just don't buy the whole "we're so much in love" crap by Jessa. She states that they have a lot in common, then goes on to say how they are different...he's romantic, she's cut and dried..her sisters are coaching her on sweet things to say? What nonsense. Your family should NOT have to give you pointers on how to mesh well with your suitor. Is should come natural to them both...I also don't see if these two are ready ie, mature enough to marry, how Ben's daddy had to step up and just about push his son on Jessa with a "ring in hand".

Adoption? How can it be? That process goes against their religious beliefs with the "sins of the fathers" issue that many fundies promote.

[ChicksDigScars]

I wonder if Jim Boob gave him the car lot. The one admirable thing in all of this IS if JB said, "No way. You need a job. The TLC gravy train can't support you forever."  And Pa Seewald's blog on marrying young is just creepy. Why are people waiting until they are "pushing 30" to marry? Maybe they want a JOB, an education, a HOME and a little security and maturity before taking that plunge, you blithering idiot. And by the way, asshole, nice pornstache in your wedding picture. 

 

I don't feel all warm and fuzzy about this marriage like I did Jill and Derick. But, then again, Derick is likable, educated and employed, and doesn't make an ass out of himself on social media. 

Edited August 15, 2014 by ChicksDigScars

[Higgins]

Wow! Thanks, JessDVD for this link. I just don't buy the whole "we're so much in love" crap by Jessa. She states that they have a lot in common, then goes on to say how they are different...he's romantic, she's cut and dried..her sisters are coaching her on sweet things to say? What nonsense. Your family should NOT have to give you pointers on how to mesh well with your suitor. Is should come natural to them both...I also don't see if these two are ready ie, mature enough to marry, how Ben's daddy had to step up and just about push his son on Jessa with a "ring in hand".

Adoption? How can it be? That process goes against their religious beliefs with the "sins of the fathers" issue that many fundies promote.

Tell that to the millions of women asking their husbands to be more romantic.

[JessDVD]

While I wouldn't discuss it on the internet, I don't think there's anything super wrong with Jessa's sisters giving her pointers on saying sweet things to Ben. I would put that in the category of marriage/relationships are a two-way street and if it were important to my husband for me to say sweet things to him, I should make an effort to say sweet things to him, even if I feel like a total dope initially. And sometimes advice from people more adept at things like saying sweet things (or whatever it is), can be helpful.

 

Again, I would not talk about that in an interview with People mag, but conceptually, I don't think there's anything wrong with it, and also what @Higgins said while I was typing this about women wanting their husbands to be more romantic.

[leighroda]

So I just saw on Facebook they are engaged.

[jb0495]

I think they were engaged around the time of Jill's wedding. The People article said "at the wedding of his soon to be sister and brother in law". Unless it was phrased that way since it seemed obvious they would get engaged soon. It seems hokey that Boob/TLC wouldn't want the wording changed since the article is past tense in parts...

[Fuzzysox]

I find the Thursday date kinda strange then all of a sudden People breaks the news. The Pickles and Hairspray FB page has pictures of what appear to be the engagement being filmed. IDK not happy in the least for Jessa, it should be called we are horny as hell and are getting married because of it engagement.

[autumnh]

I tend to think we will see even more courtships and weddings..whether it be male or female. Since Michelle most likely will not be having any more children..courtships and weddings will probably be the only thing to keep them relevant. I mean really...do we need to a see a Duggars go to the laundromat episode? If they don't have a wedding a year to film what else will they do?

[PinkSprinkles]

I definitely think they were engaged prior to this. If it were a genuine proposal the cameras wouldn't be there giving them directions where to walk and stand. I wish them good luck, but also feel bad that they will forever be compared to Jill and Derick. :-/

[riverblue22]

I just can not envision Jessa wrangling three children under five as Anna does, while cooking for Ben who "likes to watch her cook."  Not to mention cleaning the house and doing the laundry.  How will Jessa manage without J'Slaves of her own?

[Fuzzysox]

Why are there no pictures of the engagement ring? Did it come out of a gum ball machine if she did get one??

[DangerousMinds]

Why are there no pictures of the engagement ring? Did it come out of a gum ball machine if she did get one??

Good question? How could Bin have afforded any kind of decent ring?

Edited August 15, 2014 by DangerousMinds

[Libby96]

Any news of an actual wedding date yet? My guess is November at the latest. Once they're engaged, the people in these circles waste no time. It's not like they are actually planning around milestones like finishing college or being gainfully employed first.

[Ljohnson1987]

Congrats Jessa and Ben. I'm glad that both Jill and Jessa get their own time to shine. 

[Higgins]

Good question? How could Bin afforded any kind of decent ring?

What would be decent? Does it really matter what kind of ring she gets?

[Ljohnson1987]

I wonder if Bin will top Derrick's proposal. Probably not. 

[3 is enough]

I think a November wedding sounds about right.  3 months seems to be the norm for an engagement for these folks.  

 

Feel bad for Jana and Jinger.  Their workload around the TTH has doubled.  I think Jana would love to get married and get the hell out of there, and Jinger will miss Jessa terribly.  They appear to have a very close bond.

 

Count me in as one who just doesn't have warm and fuzzy feelings about this couple. Jill and Derrick seem to be the real deal, but Jessa and Ben, not so much... 

[leighroda]

I wonder if Bin will top Derrick's proposal. Probably not.

If it does, I think it'll be TLCs doing not his own.

[PinkSprinkles]

I wonder if Bin will top Derrick's proposal. Probably not. 

 

I'm hoping he sprang for a dixie cup to hold in his hand this time. ;-) 

[woodscommaelle]

I think that People pic of Jessa is terrible.  She looks just like Michelle and I've never seen any similarities before.

[Almost 3000]

I think a November wedding sounds about right.  3 months seems to be the norm for an engagement for these folks.  

 

Feel bad for Jana and Jinger.  Their workload around the TTH has doubled.  I think Jana would love to get married and get the hell out of there, and Jinger will miss Jessa terribly.  They appear to have a very close bond.

 

Count me in as one who just doesn't have warm and fuzzy feelings about this couple. Jill and Derrick seem to be the real deal, but Jessa and Ben, not so much... 

I just came here to post that I just don't like them as a couple or as individuals. This has messy written all over it and JB will not be happy which on second thought may be the only good thing about this match.

[cassaundroll]

Jessa has always been an odd one, IMO!  And poor Ben is cute, but dim.  Jill and Derrick are a match made in heaven, but this one may have been made in social media, by the aunt leaking the news and JB feeling forced to save face by sanctioning courtship.  Stalker fans!