Commercials That Annoy, Irritate or Outright Enrage

[RCharter]

I like Oprah, although I'm sure my appreciation doesn't matter as she sits in her bazillion dollar mansion with Stedman the robot :)

 

I heard her speak at a graduation and she seemed very down to earth and humble.  

 

But I suspect we will know when the "magic weight loss pill" really comes on the scene because Oprah will be slender.

[ari333]

That effing woman who speaks/sings that brain song "took two bullets in the chest?" WHAT? HATE.

Not for those of us who prefer the sight of Kevin Bacon (all of him). Actually, Wild Things was an ingenious movie, and I defend it without apology.

I agree! There's not enough peen in movies imo..

[TattleTeeny]

Oh my god, I love you! I HATE that movie, I've never seen anybody else who hates it too! I tried it as a kid, hated it. Tried it again as a teenager and got maybe halfway through before I bailed, tried it again in my 20s and then just gave up.

I can't stand anything about that stupid ass movie.

 

I have similarly strong feelings, which also extend way back to childhood, about the Charlie Brown holiday TV specials.

That reminds me:

 

 

I really like Maya Rudolph, but this ad is just irritating. It might have been less so if she didn't kiss the stupid bottle.

But she says there's a "pork" scent! It made me laugh!

Regardining Denise Richards, I have no feelings one way or the other about her acting, but she's pretty nice and funny when she's on Howard Stern. I was pleasantly surprised!

Edited April 14, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[xaxat]

The part that annoys me most about the University of Phoenix ad is the woman who holds up her finger to tell the librarian to back off. 
 
Lady! A little while ago he announced that you have ten minutes to get your shit together and leave. So get your shit together and leave! In addition, unlike you, he actually has a job. So let him do it!

Edited April 14, 2016 by xaxat

[ari333]

The part that annoys me most about the University of Phoenix ad is the woman who holds up her finger to tell the librarian to back off. 

 

Lady! A little while ago he announced that you have ten minutes to get your shit together and leave. So get your shit together and leave! In addition, unlike you, he actually has a job. So let him do it!

Oh I hate the finger. HATE.

Some comedian said that he wanted to break that finger off and shove it up her tushy. I kind of share that sentiment. Im going to hell.

[KLovestoShop]

Where to start with the plethora of totally awful commercials?  I HATE the one for a new prescription for IBS.  There's a Kathy Griffin look-a-like wearing a flesh colored bodysuit with intestines painted on the stomach.  That idiot is a giant pain in the ass and I just don't see why you had to have that prancing jerk running around the woman with IBS.  

 

My second hate commercial is the one for some kind of foot treatment where people are working and their foot just disconnects and starts hitting them in the head.  I'm definitely not a foot person, so I find this commercial distasteful.  

 

I think the Oprah commercials failed because she just came off sounding so stupid, especially with the "I like bread, honey child".  That's just so racially insensitive because it harkens back to slavery times when Honey Child was used extensively.  

[iMonrey]

Wait, did they really pull the Weight Watchers commercials with Oprah? Where did you hear that? She invested a chunk of her fortune into that company. Hard to believe she would walk away from helping to market it.

 

http://money.cnn.com/2016/02/26/investing/weight-watchers-oprah-winfrey-earnings-stock/

 

Nothing in there about her not doing commercials anymore.

[chessiegal]

I'm the one who suggested they stopped airing them because I haven't seen one in ages. There are severasl new ones out with people on the program saying how much they like it, including 2 sisters, 1 lost 36 pounds and the other 40. These ads are really upbeat - they have a very different tone than the Oprah ads.

[erikdepressant]

Where to start with the plethora of totally awful commercials?  I HATE the one for a new prescription for IBS.  There's a Kathy Griffin look-a-like wearing a flesh colored bodysuit with intestines painted on the stomach.  That idiot is a giant pain in the ass and I just don't see why you had to have that prancing jerk running around the woman with IBS.

It's called symbolism.

[paramitch]

My latest hate is a huge one -- I can't believe no one has mentioned the commercials. They're for "Watchable" and denote a series of "unwatchable" scenarios and then (supposedly) more "watchable ones.

 

I hate all of them, but the worst for me is one of the latest, in which we see a guy basically drooling on his desk and watching a perpetual motion thingy in boredom. Then we see -- fairly close up -- a rounded belly with a HUGE bloody wound in it. Then hands dip into the wound (the doctors (quipping), one of whom almost immediately drops a phone into the wound and then begins rummaging around in the bloody mess for the phone. And this is supposed to be "watchable(!)"--? Really? I can't fast-forward or avert my eyes fast enough! It's not the gross factor (although yes that's an aspect, but after all I'm pretty tough -- I watch The Walking Dead), it's the fact that you are stuck here watching an utterly boring, nastily filmed commercial that ends with people tiredly rummaging around in a person's innards.

 

Here's a shortened version I was able to find (but the original is worse. Much much worse!):

 

 

Not funny. Not entertaining. Not "watchable."

 

AGHGHGH. I hate them all.

 

You know a saying has passed its expiration date when you see a commercial with people's craniums exploding in clouds of purple smoke...

 

Oh, God, THANK YOU. I hate them so so much. Just -- does this make me want to use them? NO. It makes me want to fast-forward and then pay to have the memory of the commercials removed from my brain.

 

That commercial about never getting married, never moving to the suburbs, never having another kid, never driving a minivan, then "I'm never letting go." If the pattern were to hold, the next scene is dude with a 22 year old girlfriend and a divorce attorney.

 

I agree so much. It would have worked for me if the guy, in the final, lovely scene, had said I'm.... (palpable break) -- never -- letting go. And then had him looking sort of like he'd had a revelation, like he had stopped with the "negative" nevers, if that makes sense. The ads could have been really lovely but the fact that there's no pause for the change in feeling makes them a fail for me.

 

Jesus Christ. POM should yank that ad toot sweet. Then fire their PR people. Then apologize to PETA and to cats and to people who love cats. I do not kid this time.

 

I'm part of the action network working on prosecuting the Texas vet Kristen Lindsey, who shot a neighbor's cat with a bow and arrow (and then bragged about it on Facebook) so yes, horrifically, it does happen.

 

I like Oprah, although I'm sure my appreciation doesn't matter as she sits in her bazillion dollar mansion with Stedman the robot :)

 

I heard her speak at a graduation and she seemed very down to earth and humble.  

 

But I suspect we will know when the "magic weight loss pill" really comes on the scene because Oprah will be slender.

 

I like Oprah, and honestly wish she'd simply stop trying so hard to be super skinny. I think she's a gorgeous woman, but I also think her body does not want her to be skinny -- it simply doesn't. So she struggles -- even as a billionaire with a chef and trainer -- to no avail.

 

I get why she's trying so hard with "Weight Watchers" but I do think it comes across the wrong way -- as this entitled woman trying to be one of the people or something.  I don't think there's anything wrong with her continuing to try, but it oddly makes me feel sorry for her. I wish she could simply enjoy her life and wealth (and health) and stop pushing for something some kind of cultural idealism.

[janie jones]

That infernal "oh what a day oh what day oh what a day oh what a day" commercial for some clothing store (?) is going to cause me to go on some sort of rampage.

[Scout Finch]

Ha, good timing! The sole reason I caught up on this thread was to see if the "oh what a day" ad had been mentioned! Oh what a day it's been... because that damn song has been running through my head ALL day today (and tonight). It's making me feel quite stabby.

 

Regarding the University of Phoenix, my supervisor got her advanced accounting degree from there in hopes of being qualified to move into our comptroller's position when he retires. Given how small our department is it's very likely (and if that happens the other supervisor confided in me that she would give notice rather than have her as a boss!); however, outside of our company I doubt it would get her very far. What I find hilarious is that even though she's really proud of it, she printed the degree out on plain copy paper and unevenly stuck it on her cubicle wall with a thumbtack! Like, wouldn't you at the very least buy a nice certificate frame to put it in? I figure it's some sort of her sub-conscious awareness that it probably really IS only worth the paper it's printed on.

Edited April 15, 2016 by Scout Finch

[SmithW6079]

Jesus Christ. POM should yank that ad toot sweet. Then fire their PR people. Then apologize to PETA and to cats and to people who love cats. I do not kid this time.

That ad is funny, because it's not a real cat, and the arrows are juice. Also, "apologize" to PETA? That domestic terrorist organization kills more animals than it "saves." They're nothing but hypocrites.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

That ad is funny, because it's not a real cat, and the arrows are juice. Also, "apologize" to PETA? That domestic terrorist organization kills more animals than it "saves." They're nothing but hypocrites.

 

*eyebrow*

 

Not that it actually matters, but I was exaggerating, at least about the PETA thing. I'm glad you think it's amusing, I guess, but then again I never found America's Funniest Home Videos all that funny either. You can only see somebody get hit in the balls/fall on their face/trip down the stairs so many times before it gets old. Now The Three Stooges? There's a classic.

[bmoore4026]

Whoever came up with the "Two Douches in the car at Sonic's" ads needs to be put in a car with those two assholes for 24 hours and be forced to listen to their inane crap.  That is all.

Edited April 15, 2016 by bmoore4026

[proserpina65]

The part that annoys me most about the University of Phoenix ad is the woman who holds up her finger to tell the librarian to back off. 

 

Lady! A little while ago he announced that you have ten minutes to get your shit together and leave. So get your shit together and leave! In addition, unlike you, he actually has a job. So let him do it!

That's the only part of the commercial which bugs me.  I don't object to the rest of it at all, except for the University of Phoenix being involved.

[Jaded]

I was watching one channel this morning and that UoP commercial came on so I switched it to another channel and the damn thing was just starting on that channel too. I said some bad words and my cat looked at me like I was crazy.

[Neurochick]

I hate that University of Phoenix commercial is everywhere, on every channel, you can't escape it. 

 

I think the Oprah commercials failed because she just came off sounding so stupid, especially with the "I like bread, honey child".  That's just so racially insensitive because it harkens back to slavery times when Honey Child was used extensively.

 

The Jackson 5 had a song years ago called "Honey Child."  I never thought it had anything to do with slavery.

Edited April 15, 2016 by Neurochick

[Ohwell]

Me either.

[Bastet]

Every time someone posts about Oprah saying "honey child," I have Linda Ronstadt singing in my head for hours.  (Different Drum contains the line, "but honey child, I've got my doubts.")

[LoneHaranguer]

 

The Jackson 5 had a song years ago called "Honey Child."  I never thought it had anything to do with slavery.

It's a Southern expression. Isn't that enough?

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Even if Oprah is saying it?

[arejay]

"Southern" doesn't always equal "purveyor of human goods".....just so you know.

Now, on to my real reason for checking in.

The dick pill spot that insinuates that the guy holding the ladder for his wife is about to get some for helping her is beyond silly. Bastard should have been the one on the ladder in the first place, taking orders. Men are pigs.

[RCharter]

^^I kinda find the idea that women only want sex once you help them to be an odd proposition.  Sometimes I just want sex, and no ladders need be involved.

[Rinaldo]

There's not enough peen in movies imo..

I totally agree, but more importantly Kevin Bacon himself has made a new video expressly to say so.

[Moose135]

Men are pigs.

Yes we are.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

The dick pill spot that insinuates that the guy holding the ladder for his wife is about to get some for helping her is beyond silly. Bastard should have been the one on the ladder in the first place, taking orders. Men are pigs.

 

That puts a spin on the "Pull that peach!" ad I'd rather not have put on it.

[Rick Kitchen]

Even if Oprah is saying it?

 

Oprah is from the South.

[MaryPatShelby]

"Southern" doesn't always equal "purveyor of human goods".....just so you know.

Now, on to my real reason for checking in.

The dick pill spot that insinuates that the guy holding the ladder for his wife is about to get some for helping her is beyond silly. Bastard should have been the one on the ladder in the first place, taking orders. Men are pigs.

THIS!! Well, maybe not so much men are pigs, but holding the ladder in hopes of getting some?

I don't know if it's this one or a different ED ad, there are so many, but the voiceover says something like "and you don't want to take the time to go to the bathroom..." I'm always thinking, what if you actually have to pee/poop before this great sex you're going to have? Would it be OK THEN to take the time to go to the bathroom? But not to run in there and take a pill?

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Oprah is from the South.

 

Yes, I know she's from Mississippi, although I'm sure others believe she really is from Chicago. That wasn't entirely how I meant that.

[MaryMitch]

For some reason people think it's ok to talk about all Southerners being prejudiced. Ironic.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

For some reason people think it's ok to talk about all Southerners being prejudiced. Ironic.

 

Well, not all southerners. Just the ones who aren't Oprah, apparently.

[frenchtoast]

Snark the commercials, not each other. Let's keep talking about the commercials, please.

[peacheslatour]

I swear to FSM that the chick who sings that stupid UoP song is the same simpering, hipster moron who does the VO for Panera.

[Ohwell]

I searched around the 'net to find out that Panera chick's name and couldn't find it.  I think she's in hiding somewhere.

[Brattinella]

The simpering singer for UoP is "roarke".  Can't find anything about Panera.

[peacheslatour]

I searched around the 'net to find out that Panera chick's name and couldn't find it.  I think she's in hiding somewhere.

I found the Panera chick's name, it's Ellese Tobin. So I guess it's not the same person, it's just the same "little girl" style that is apparently going to propel us all through that glass ceiling we've heard so much about. So much for women being taken seriously in this brave new world.

[TattleTeeny]

Sometimes I just want sex, and no ladders need be involved.

 

Then you are not doing it right!

Haha, I'm just kidding. I don't even know what that means!

Edited April 16, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[Watcher0363]

^^I kinda find the idea that women only want sex once you help them to be an odd proposition.  Sometimes I just want sex, and no ladders need be involved.

 

 

Then you are not doing it right!

Haha, I'm just kidding. I don't even know what that means!

Well now, thank god for google! And all the imaginative men and women with cameras and no modesty.

[Brattinella]

I found the Panera chick's name, it's Ellese Tobin. So I guess it's not the same person, it's just the same "little girl" style that is apparently going to propel us all through that glass ceiling we've heard so much about. So much for women being taken seriously in this brave new world.

 

Yeah, because baby voices are SO alluring.

[Joe Blow]

 

*eyebrow*

 

Not that it actually matters, but I was exaggerating, at least about the PETA thing. I'm glad you think it's amusing, I guess, but then again I never found America's Funniest Home Videos all that funny either. You can only see somebody get hit in the balls/fall on their face/trip down the stairs so many times before it gets old. Now The Three Stooges? There's a classic.

But, "Ow, My Balls" is still a hit in 2505..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAg1r6zw7Bg

[Joe Blow]

The Jackson 5 had a song years ago called "Honey Child."  I never thought it had anything to do with slavery.

I always knew the Martha & the Vandellas "Honey Chile".  I think it's the same song.  Not sure how the lyrics convey slavery.

 

And, whoever mentioned "Different Drum", it was actually written by Mike Nesmith of the Monkees.  You can see him play a much faster version in a random cut on one of the episodes of the original show (the Stone Poneys version is the classic, as he's admitted, but this was first)

Edited April 17, 2016 by Joe Blow

[bitchin camaro]

What in the fuck is up with the "we're pretzels baby" lady? I'm usually a fan of weird stuff like that (the Halos kid with the horse head in the bed slays me), but I don't get this one at all.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

But, "Ow, My Balls" is still a hit in 2505..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAg1r6zw7Bg

 

*snerk*

 

I actually watched Idiocracy last week. When Luke Wilson is the smartest dude in the country, things have gone amiss. ;-)

What in the fuck is up with the "we're pretzels baby" lady? I'm usually a fan of weird stuff like that (the Halos kid with the horse head in the bed slays me), but I don't get this one at all.

 

I love that ad, personally. The woman just seems so serious about how awesome pretzels are, and her almost smile when she says "We're pretzels, baby" makes me laugh.

[scrb]

I loathe everything that the University of Phoenix is about.

 

But is it possible that people are responding negatively because of the sponsor?

 

Is it possible to separate the message and the production (the visuals and the singing) from the sponsor?

 

I searched around, didn't look into the ad firm but the singer appears to be an aspiring artist named Roarke.  She has a Youtube channel and some music on Soundcloud.

 

On Youtube, she has covers of other tunes, not originals.  I think the singing in the commercial is pretty memorable.  The commercial is polarizing, some people really like it (even though they know about the diploma mill) and some really hate it.  But it seems to have evoked strong responses because that singing performance has registered on some level.

 

The message is certainly uplifting if unoriginal.  But it is basically the American Dream, the optimistic idea of outworking and outlearning others (pulling yourself up by the bootstraps) to attain success.  On paper, this appeals to millions of Americans and people who want to immigrate here, even if it glosses the fact that many people have inherent advantages by being born into the right family and not having to resort to a fraud like the University of Phoenix.  And yet it's tempting to a lot of people.

[Neurochick]

I loathe everything that the University of Phoenix is about.

 

But is it possible that people are responding negatively because of the sponsor?

 

Is it possible to separate the message and the production (the visuals and the singing) from the sponsor?

 

I searched around, didn't look into the ad firm but the singer appears to be an aspiring artist named Roarke.  She has a Youtube channel and some music on Soundcloud.

 

On Youtube, she has covers of other tunes, not originals.  I think the singing in the commercial is pretty memorable.  The commercial is polarizing, some people really like it (even though they know about the diploma mill) and some really hate it.  But it seems to have evoked strong responses because that singing performance has registered on some level.

 

The message is certainly uplifting if unoriginal.  But it is basically the American Dream, the optimistic idea of outworking and outlearning others (pulling yourself up by the bootstraps) to attain success.  On paper, this appeals to millions of Americans and people who want to immigrate here, even if it glosses the fact that many people have inherent advantages by being born into the right family and not having to resort to a fraud like the University of Phoenix.  And yet it's tempting to a lot of people.

 

My problem with the commercial is that a lot of the words are bullshit.  "A degree is a degree."  Really?  So a degree from U. of Phoenix is the same as a degree from Yale?  I don't think so. 

 

Decades ago a person could realistically work their way through college and not have crushing student load debt.  My debt was only three figures and I had it paid off by the time I was 24, when I had a job and an apartment.  Today, too many people end up with debt and a job that can't pay that debt, meaning they'll be in debt for years.  

Edited April 17, 2016 by Neurochick

[RCharter]

 

The message is certainly uplifting if unoriginal.  But it is basically the American Dream, the optimistic idea of outworking and outlearning others (pulling yourself up by the bootstraps) to attain success.  On paper, this appeals to millions of Americans and people who want to immigrate here, even if it glosses the fact that many people have inherent advantages by being born into the right family and not having to resort to a fraud like the University of Phoenix.  And yet it's tempting to a lot of people.

I don't care how many bootstraps you had to pull, you don't give the condescending "1 minute finger" to a security guard like you're some sort of superior being.  That doesn't fly if you've gone to Harvard, and it sure as shit doesn't fly if you're going to University of Phoenix.

 

If part of your American Dream is becoming that asshole, douchbag giving the "1 minute finger" to a security guard instead of using your words, because he is somehow beneath you and should wait on you, than I guess UoP is the place for you.  

 

Bratinella -- I know you do the 1 minute finger thing, but you have a good reason.

Edited April 17, 2016 by RCharter

[Neurochick]

I don't care how many bootstraps you had to pull, you don't give the condescending "1 minute finger" to a security guard like you're some sort of superior being.  That doesn't fly if you've gone to Harvard, and it sure as shit doesn't fly if you're going to University of Phoenix.

 

If part of your American Dream is becoming that asshole, douchbag giving the "1 minute finger" to a security guard instead of using your words, because he is somehow beneath you and should wait on you, than I guess UoP is the place for you.

 

 

Also, the security guard may wind up making more money than the woman giving him the one minute finger.  (I used to work in a university where the security guards made more than the Ph.d's. because the security guards had a union and the Ph.d's did not)

[Prevailing Wind]

And, whoever mentioned "Different Drum", it was actually written by Mike Nesmith of the Monkees.  You can see him play a much faster version in a random cut on one of the episodes of the original show (the Stone Poneys version is the classic, as he's admitted, but this was first)

Here's a more standard version by The Nez...

 

As for Linda's being the definitive version, Zevon felt that way about her version of "Carmelita," too.  And while WZ used several words never before found in songs, i.e., brucellosis, he never used "honey child" or "honey chile."

[peacheslatour]

What in the fuck is up with the "we're pretzels baby" lady? I'm usually a fan of weird stuff like that (the Halos kid with the horse head in the bed slays me), but I don't get this one at all.

What I don't get about that Halos commercial is, why would the kid put her own stuffed horsie's head in the bed? In The Godfather, the mob killed and beheaded the victim's horse, not their own.