Commercials That Annoy, Irritate or Outright Enrage

[pandora spocks]

The bearded asshole in his bathrobe who's yelling in his bullhorn needs to go back inside or the neighbors will cause major damage to his face. Nobody--at least nobody sane-- wants to hear him scream about the joys of sleeping on a Simmons Beauty Rest.  I'm sure his neighbors don't give a shit about him feeling ready to spring like a cobra.  He'll need those cobra moves to escape from his murderous neighbors. 

[SmithW6079]

Must the world revolve around The Children?

Yes, because The Children are our future. Won't somebody think of The Children?

If your kid puts shit in his mouth and you're worried about the colored pods, don't buy Tide. Don't make Tide change to avoid your kid.

We live in the age of the tyranny of the minority. If I'm affected, then everyone must change for me.

[Muffyn]

The bearded asshole in his bathrobe who's yelling in his bullhorn needs to go back inside or the neighbors will cause major damage to his face. Nobody--at least nobody sane-- wants to hear him scream about the joys of sleeping on a Simmons Beauty Rest.  I'm sure his neighbors don't give a shit about him feeling ready to spring like a cobra.  He'll need those cobra moves to escape from his murderous neighbors. 

My sister lived in a converted warehouse project.  One of her neighbors, Charles, would wake up, go out on his interior balcony and yell, "Everybody wake up and scream!"  Fortunately he was a very late sleeper so everyone laughed it off.  This douchebag reminds me of Charles.

 

I want every one associated in any way with the Yoplait Amelie inspired less sugar commercial to be blocked from ever being allowed to create anything ever again.  I cannot get to the remote fast enough.  The precious voice.  The quirky faces. Aaaargh!   No matter how much sugar Yoplait has, it is still the consistency of snot.  It is milk snot.  

Edited September 7, 2015 by Muffyn

[xls]

I just want to shout "USE A NETI POT!".

I tried BR strips and they did not work for me, I could not sleep feeling that thing glued to my nose.

 

[Rick Kitchen]

Neti Pots are dangerous if you don't clean them out thoroughly.  They grow bacteria inside them and that gets up in your nose and then there's a direct highway to your brain.

[Brattinella]

Yes, please, if you use a Neti Pot, only use distilled water, NEVER use tap water!  Folks have died from tap water (amoeba).

[Sandman87]

I've been seeing a horribly animated (just the mouths move, like in Clutch Cargo) and voice-acted commercial lately for a knee brace, and it makes me long for the days when there was no television. "Hey Grandma, come out and play with me", but Grandma is too old and creaky until she gets her magic brace. Then she's suddenly skateboarding and saying "try to keep up with me!" Hate!

We were Darwin's children. If you could survive crossing the street without a walk-- don't walk sign, playing with 5 gallon empty buckets, in discarded refrigerators with door latches and playing with my favorite toy, the plastic dry cleaning bags. You were special, not in the short bus riding way, but in the you have survived the, "To stupid to live childhood trials."

As opposed to the current crop of delicate grown-up snowflakes, whose childhoods have been so sheltered that they have to dial 911 if their half-caf lattes have too much foam on them.

[Flnurse]

LOL Ya'all CRACK ME UP!!!!!

My darling dear uses a CPAP===best mouth breather/snoring/apnea device ever! (even when I threaten to clamp it off in his sleep sometimes HAHAHA)

 

But the last irritating one for me was the woman and her toothpaste. He 'husband got a better checkup than her" so "she's switching her toothpaste to HIS"...

So basically a couple living together have separate toothpastes? Besides Sensodyne, it this reality????

I have been with my man for many years and the only thing we don't share is NOTHING. LOL OK...I cant use fab softener on some things. BUT TOOTHPASTE????

 

OK..off to my boxed wine....

[90PercentGravity]

I won't share toothpaste with anyone. Not even someone I've kissed. I'm may allow some of your spit in my mouth, but I'm not grinding it into my gums, icky.

[Brattinella]

Still rolling @ Clutch Cargo. :D

[Blergh]

Without going into detail: GO AWAY, FLO! I'm sick of you and your creepy 'family' & 'friends' and since I use some other insurance company I'm perfectly happy with, your annoying voice and smug tude popping up on my television and 'Net sites is completely USELESS!

[Prevailing Wind]

I tried the Breathe Right strips years ago - turns out, I'm apparently allergic to the adhesive.  The skin on my nose practically turned to mush and I've got all broken veins, like a drunk or someone with Rosacea.  Barely could breathe any better at that.  Feh.

[backformore]

That Belsombra commercial is kind of creepy. I liked it until I was looking away and actually heard what they were saying. Not looking at the cute word-kitty and puppy. Sleep driving? Aggressive? Halucinations? Suicide? Yikes I'll just hit myself in the head with a hammer.

AH!  Now it's making sense!  Those strange furry word-creatures were the side-effect hallucinations!  

Yes, please, if you use a Neti Pot, only use distilled water, NEVER use tap water!  Folks have died from tap water (amoeba).

What?   I never heard this!   I'm pretty sure our water is free of amoebas, though.  

[Brattinella]

http://www.thenewsstar.com/story/news/local/2015/09/02/brain-eating-amoeba-update-dhh-sets-sterlington-meeting/71562554/

 

There ya go.

[theatremouse]

So basically a couple living together have separate toothpastes? Besides Sensodyne, it this reality????

Yes. In my case it's a matter of "your toothpaste tastes weird." "No, your toothpaste tastes weird." And so we both continue to use varieties we did before living together.

[sofaslug]

I've been seeing a horribly animated (just the mouths move, like in Clutch Cargo) and voice-acted commercial lately for a knee brace, and it makes me long for the days when there was no television. "Hey Grandma, come out and play with me", but Grandma is too old and creaky until she gets her magic brace. Then she's suddenly skateboarding and saying "try to keep up with me!" Hate!

Clutch Cargo's animation feels downright futuristic compared to Grandma.

I hate that ad and Grandma sounds a tad masculine to me. Must be a hell of a brace because she's skateboarding in a dress, pearls and, dress shoes.

[Ubiquitous]

I'm not sure which company it is, but there are a bunch of ads for a cellphone service provider featuring what are obviously thinly-disguised characters from Big Bang Theory. I don't know why, but they annoy me so much!

[bilgistic]

http://www.thenewsstar.com/story/news/local/2015/09/02/brain-eating-amoeba-update-dhh-sets-sterlington-meeting/71562554/

There ya go.

This is my favorite takeaway from the article:

Sterlington Mayor Vern Breland said he was up until midnight fielding calls about the water.

"I know they say the water is safe to drink, but I did notice that nobody was drinking any water when I went to the Waffle House (Wednesday morning),” he said.

I ate at IHOP today, so I'm not hating. I love that the mayor is not too high-falutin' to eat at 'the' Waffle House. I love being Southern. Edited September 8, 2015 by bilgistic

[Brattinella]

LOL!  Waffle House Rules!

[riley702]

That's like Ambien. I would wake up the next day and find that I had eaten entire bags of chocolate and have zero recollection of it. I would text people bizarre stuff. It's no bueno!

I tried Ambien exactly twice. That first morning, I was ecstatic - I'd never slept so well before! But my reflexes and reaction times were still off and I promptly slid on snow and hit a post that tore up the front end of my car. After a day of dealing with the insurance company, the body shop and the car-rental place, I took Ambien again that night - and promptly wrecked the rental car the next day. That was when the light dawned that that shit was dangerous. And then my sister e-mailed me anecdotal accounts of people sleep-eating, sleep-driving, sleep-fucking and more than one person who woke up outside totally naked. I flushed the rest. *sigh* Too good to be true...

 

I tried the Breathe Right strips years ago - turns out, I'm apparently allergic to the adhesive.  The skin on my nose practically turned to mush and I've got all broken veins, like a drunk or someone with Rosacea.  Barely could breathe any better at that.  Feh.

I did OK with the brown cloth-like adhesive, but the clear stuff is a total disaster - the adhesive melts and slides around on my nose and my skin broke out.

[Prevailing Wind]

Why flush a drug so it gets into the water system faster?  Just dump it in the landfill & let it leach through the soil & possibly just contaminate the land under the garbage.

[riley702]

Didn't think about it.

[DeLurker]

That's like Ambien. I would wake up the next day and find that I had eaten entire bags of chocolate and have zero recollection of it. I would text people bizarre stuff. It's no bueno!

These things have happened to me too, but without the aid of Ambien, pharmaceuticals or alcohol.  I wish I could blame it on something other than me.

[erikdepressant]

This may be a local ad, but I'm curious if they change a few details for broadcast in other states.

I was furious the first time I saw the commercial months ago, and seeing it every day has not made me hate it any less.  The "lots of experts" who studied fracking were employed by frackers.  Carbon emissions may be down, but methane and toxic byproduct gasses are up.  The "toughest, most stringent rules" that regulate fracking are not tough, stringent, or even properly enforced.  Cities and counties can't contradict the state by interfering with fracking, because the state has been bought out.  What upsets me most about the commercial is the way it pretends that frackers should pat themselves on the back for following the regulations they helped dilute, even though they lobby heavily to get those regulations removed.

Edited September 8, 2015 by erikdepressant

[mojoween]

Wal-Mart I love the Star Wars ad where the kid grows up and gives the Lego to his daughter and grandpa is sitting in the chair and the dad and daughter do the Ewok dance he did in the eighties AND James Earl Jones narrates the whole thing.

I hate you for making me love it and feel benevolently towards you, regardless of how short the feeling lasts.

[peacheslatour]

Another Liberty Mutual gripe; the one where the woman is babbling about torque ratios and spreadsheets while wearing ridiculously short, tight slacks with high heeled pumps. Hey, honey  maybe you should have done more research on those pants.

[LoneHaranguer]

 

What upsets me most about the commercial is the way it pretends that frackers should pat themselves on the back for following the regulations they helped dilute, even though they lobby heavily to get those regulations removed.

Considering how often regulations are unconstitutional, would you prefer that the corporate lawyers struck them down entirely? They compromised instead.

[peacheslatour]

I would prefer they quit polluting.

[Brattinella]

I would prefer that they quit causing earthquakes.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Another Liberty Mutual gripe; the one where the woman is babbling about torque ratios and spreadsheets while wearing ridiculously short, tight slacks with high heeled pumps. Hey, honey  maybe you should have done more research on those pants.

 

She needn't bother, for I have researched her pants thoroughly. Her decisions about insurance may be questionable, but her pants have excellent torque ratio,

[Watcher0363]

She needn't bother, for I have researched her pants thoroughly. Her decisions about insurance may be questionable, but her pants have excellent torque ratio,

And proper undercupping for TV. Actually the undercupping is excellent also.

[Brattinella]

She needn't bother, for I have researched her pants thoroughly. Her decisions about insurance may be questionable, but her pants have excellent torque ratio,

I'm really gonna have to watch this commercial again; I missed the tight pants part.  I just have so much loathing for Liberty Mutual I kind of tune out any interesting stuff.

[Watcher0363]

I'm really gonna have to watch this commercial again; I missed the tight pants part.  I just have so much loathing for Liberty Mutual I kind of tune out any interesting stuff.

They are not that tight. Personally I like that she is closet Fast and Furious fan. She should know insurance companies don't like ride and die chicks.

[legaleagle53]

Yes, because The Children are our future. Won't somebody think of The Children?

We live in the age of the tyranny of the minority. If I'm affected, then everyone must change for me.

 

Sure, just like your mother always made you put on a sweater because she was cold.

[Magog]

Can somebody please put a stop to those Draft Kings & Fan Duel commercials? I'm been seeing their crap for the past several weeks & I'm tired of it. I may like the NFL a lot, but seeing a bunch of losers bragging about winning lots of money playing Fantasy Football &  (on Draft Kings commercial) rubbing it in our faces really irritates me. Plus, I really don't see the concept of Fantasy Football. Its like a Cowboys fan having Dez Bryant on his fantasy team & another wide receiver on the Cowboys caught the winning TD to win the game, but he gets mad because Dez Bryant wasn't the one to make that catch. There is something very stupid & very wrong about that.

[Watcher0363]

Those Draft Kings and Fan Duel commercials also bother me. Not because of the people and the subject, but the fact that they shut down online poker and still allow this kind of gambling. My blood boils. I WANT MY ONLINE POKER BACK.

[peacheslatour]

And proper undercupping for TV. Actually the undercupping is excellent also.

The tight doesn't bother me so much as the too short and those shoes.....just no.

[xaxat]

Remember these annoying kids?

 

https://youtu.be/f3Vcm00n1oU

 

They failed. Amazon’s Fire Phone appears to be dead.

[Rick Kitchen]

Can somebody please put a stop to those Draft Kings & Fan Duel commercials? I'm been seeing their crap for the past several weeks & I'm tired of it. I may like the NFL a lot, but seeing a bunch of losers bragging about winning lots of money playing Fantasy Football &  (on Draft Kings commercial) rubbing it in our faces really irritates me. Plus, I really don't see the concept of Fantasy Football. Its like a Cowboys fan having Dez Bryant on his fantasy team & another wide receiver on the Cowboys caught the winning TD to win the game, but he gets mad because Dez Bryant wasn't the one to make that catch. There is something very stupid & very wrong about that.

 

Fantasy football, for me, meant that I was paying attention to games that otherwise I didn't care about, if my fantasy player was in the game.  It made those games more interesting.

[Rick Kitchen]

Why do people hire adults to sing in high pitched voices and try to pass them off as little kids singing?  The resulting voices are just horrible.

 

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7vuJ/lysol-disinfectant-wipes-school-year

[yourmomiseasy]

The Amazon Prime commercial with the dog in a cast and the song from "Paint Your Wagon" has quickly gone from favorite to annoying because of too many viewings.  It is seems to be everywhere!  And since it is everywhere, my initial response of "yay! Lee Marvin!" to what is wrong why the dog, why is in a cast, shouldn't it be walking, what would a vet say about this?

 

My dog hates this commercial so much.  I play it repeatedly just to upset her and then forget about my evil torture and later will wonder why she's being such an asshole about something else when clearly it is my fault.

 

I might be a weirdo but anytime I see some kind of egg-wrapped-in-something business, I can feel my stomach cringe up. Fuckin' "breakfast burritos," man. 

I'm sure this is going to be a big disappointment to you, but I don't think we can ever be friends.

 

The commercial with the actress from Modern Family where she says "emoji sent, pizza ordered" annoys the crap out of me.

Are people so damn lazy these days that they can't pick up a phone, dial a few numbers and order a friggin pizza?! Besides that, if you just send an emoji, how do they know what kind of pizza you want?

I have pretty much refused to order food over the phone in at least 10 years.  If they don't have online ordering either on their own site or app or through a site like Eat24 or GrubHub, I'm not getting delivery or takeaway from them. I hate calling to order food.  Inevitably you can't hear each other or understand each other or there's just too much going on in the background and the order ends up wrong.  With online ordering the order is written down and usually ends up correct.  Plus I just don't want to talk to someone if I don't have to.

 

OH MY GOD! I have a vague recollection of these (I was born in '71)! My parents didn't use them but I feel like I know about them. 

 

And your point reminds me of the "Do Not Eat" packet things that come in shoeboxes or purses and things like that. Who the hell would eat that...except someone--a dog, a baby--who didn't know how to read the "Do Not Eat" anyway?

I ate part of a silica gel packet once.  It might have been on a dare, but if it was, the dare was fueled by my obsession over what would happen if someone ate one. I never wanted to eat one until the big "DO NOT EAT" on it started taunting me.  Same with spraying canned air in my ear, I never would have thought to have done it, but the picture on the can really made me want to.  I managed to refrain from that one, although I did almost light my college apartment on fire by trying to blow out candles with one once.

 

Yes, please, if you use a Neti Pot, only use distilled water, NEVER use tap water!  Folks have died from tap water (amoeba).

I've been terrified of my sinus irrigator ever since there was an episode of House about some horrible brain infection caused by a neti pot.

Edited September 9, 2015 by yourmomiseasy

[yourmomiseasy]

My current commercial hate is aimed at the Galaxy S6 ads with Chrissy Teigen.  I assume her inane ramblings are supposed to be cute or charming, but I just can't with her and I seriously lose my shit when she crams her gaping maw with chips and then hollers like a frat boy to the people watching her on youtube.  The one good thing to come from the ad is the phrase doggie-olas to describe dog nipples, which is a lot nicer than the term I've been using -- bitch tits.    

[Brattinella]

Why do people hire adults to sing in high pitched voices and try to pass them off as little kids singing?  The resulting voices are just horrible.

 

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7vuJ/lysol-disinfectant-wipes-school-year

 

You know what is WORSE than that?  The producers deciding to use local cheerleaders/football players/toddlers in their ad, and having them SING!  They obviously DON'T audition these kids, they just tell everyone to SING, SING, and if you CAN'T sing, just yell the lyrics as loud as you can!  Seriously, I want to just shoot the TV.  NOT EVERYONE CAN SING, especially little kids.  Have them pass out flyers or something, anything but singing!!

[Milburn Stone]

Why do people hire adults to sing in high pitched voices and try to pass them off as little kids singing?  The resulting voices are just horrible.

 

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7vuJ/lysol-disinfectant-wipes-school-year

 

Well, assuming your question isn't rhetorical, there is a reason. The reason is that adult pros take direction better. Example: Your budget calls for you to get the talent in and out of the recording studio in an hour. With adults who specialize in kid voices, you know you'll get what you need in that hour. Especially when you get to the part where you need to instruct the talent, "Make it sound a little perkier." Or, "Put a little more smile in your voice." Good luck getting actual kids to understand what the hell you mean.

 

There are times when the imperfect charm of real kids singing outweighs other considerations, and those are the times you'll want to use real kids, because you'll never get it any other way. 

Edited September 9, 2015 by Milburn Stone

[pandora spocks]

Jesus H Christ! How long IS the Invokana commercial??

 

About the same length of time as filing a class action lawsuit against Invokana using an ambulance chasing lawyer.

 

If I saw a yelling dumbass on a slowly rotating bull as in the Glucerna commercial, I'd bribe someone to speed up the ride merely for the perverse joy of seeing him pitched on the midway (preferably in a muddy manure mixture). By the way, thanks, Glucerna for ruining one of my high school favorites, Slow Ride.  It created the same unfortunate association as Singing In the Rain did in A Clockwork Orange.

Edited September 9, 2015 by pandora spocks

[crowswork]

As opposed to the current crop of delicate grown-up snowflakes, whose childhoods have been so sheltered that they have to dial 911 if their half-caf lattes have too much foam on them.

 

There was a 14 year old in my city who doused himself in lighter fluid and lit it while his buddy photographed it. In the burn unit he said he didn't realized burns hurt.

 

Moral: Let your kids scorch their curious little fingers slightly.

[Brattinella]

There was a 14 year old in my city who doused himself in lighter fluid and lit it while his buddy photographed it. In the burn unit he said he didn't realized burns hurt.

 

Moral: Let your kids scorch their curious little fingers slightly.

ROFL!!!

[merylinkid]

And we have the Peyton Manning entry in the DirectTv ads.    While I find Peyton funny as hell (and not bad to look at either), what the hell does a HIGH PITCHED voice have to do with whether or not you DirectTv?   If he switches from cable, his voice drops an octave?

[mojoween]

Yeah DirecTV needs to stop. At first when they had regular people whose lives spiraled downhill because they had cable it was amusing. And then Rob Lowe's, Eli's and Tony Romo's were amusing but slightly less so but DirecTV is just stretching to try to be hilarious. They've gone from personality quirks that can be changed to physical flaws that won't improve wherever you have cable or satellite or rabbit ears.

Although I do laugh at Peyton's scream because it's adorable and I love him.

[Haleth]

Peyton singing in a barbershop quartet made me giggle.