S03.E25: Senior Poll

[Primetimer]

Kelly gets voted Most Beautiful in West Beverly's Senior Poll and finds a way to be mad about it.

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[Primetimer]

'This is what I get for trying to recruit new "talent."' - Andrea.

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[profreader]

"Behhrff." Brilliant. Also the synchronized barf-response to "...soulmates."

[Tooch]

The retcon of Dylan and Kelly as "meant to be" is just the worst. I believe they've known each other since grade school, and I actually did buy that Kelly was always into him and was jealous when he got together with Brenda. But their whole "shared tortured history" as sad lost children? No.

[AndySmith]

I can buy it, given out of the whole crew, they seemed to have the shittiest childhoods.

[Dave in Chicago]

Does Dylan realize that by saying Kelly should be voted "Best Lover" in the senior poll, that soooort of implies he thinks she would win a majority vote? Not his best line.

[APaleFire]

I can't wait until the only redeeming moment from the next episode: Steve sarcastically reminding K&D that they were voted "gloomiest couple". Go Steve.

[Tooch]

Brandon winning "most likely to succeed" bugs the shit out of me with his B+ average (as we learned in the college application episode). A B+ average would park him squarely in what...the top 25% of his class? Maybe top 10% if there's a lot of dopes. Andrea was the valedictorian and a known overachiever so her winning makes sense--but aside from working on the Blaze what has Brandon done at this point to earn such admiration from his classmates? Fuck all, as far as I can tell. And then gives Bren, who cared about winning something but didn't, a hard time? What a dick.

 

Also, Brenda is going through a bad hair/makeup phase right now, but she is demonstrably way more beautiful than Kelly, who is merely cute. And her winning the award alongside Dylan would have been AMAZING--dropped ball, writers. 

Edited March 28, 2016 by Tooch

[SoupThrower]

It seems like 3 pt shots by fans are increasingly more common like the amount of 3 pointers taken right now. Though they wouldn't throw it like that. You would heave it but whatever. 

 

Also Go Steve. 

[SoupThrower]

We had similar stuff when I was in high school. Except biggest flirt and most naive. 

 

Brandon being most likely to succeed I guess makes some sense since he's a major character and you think he'll go far unlike the others in the group except Andrea. David winning most talented but not winning best dancer? I call rigged.

 

Anyway to answer the question. 100 collectively by half time is very common. Normally around that era of basketball, you'll be on pace for 105/106 points. The pace had gotten a lot slower since the late 80's. But a 100 for one team by half time would be really difficult. Only one team has done that and that was the Suns back in 1990 v. Denver when both teams played very little defense and no one made a 3 pt shot.

 

Kelly and Dylan both irk. The worst part of the soul mates comes later, a lot later. 

[EAG46]

That's a very cute little kid in Dyan Cannon's lap. Wonder who that was.

[Nanna]

Even as a teenager I objected to Kelly being the most beautiful girl in school. There's nothing wrong with her looks, but really? I always found Brenda to be the better looking, honestly (although we've now learned differently from the book I guess). Of course, she's not the blonde California beauty, so no votes for her - bit there's gotta be a prettier blonde at school than Kelly. But whatever. Oh, and Brandon will likely succeed in life because people will hate him wherever he goes, so he'll probably be one of those people who gets promoted when someone wants to get rid of them.

[sinkwriter]

Brandon's definitely headed for Guys & Dolls in that outfit (which is actually pretty fitting, given the show's gambling aspect, LOL):

"I got your horse right here, his name is Paul Revere,

and there's a guy that says that the weather's clear

Can do, can do, this guy says the horse can do

If he says the horse can do, can do, can do..."

:D

[benteen]

Even as a teenager I objected to Kelly being the most beautiful girl in school. There's nothing wrong with her looks, but really? I always found Brenda to be the better looking, honestly (although we've now learned differently from the book I guess). Of course, she's not the blonde California beauty, so no votes for her - bit there's gotta be a prettier blonde at school than Kelly. But whatever. Oh, and Brandon will likely succeed in life because people will hate him wherever he goes, so he'll probably be one of those people who gets promoted when someone wants to get rid of them.

 

Agreed on both counts.  Brandon is likely to rat someone out so he is likely to move up the ladder of success that way.

[AndySmith]

I don't know why you guys insist on Brandon having to be so shady to be promoted in his future career. We all know he will just bray his way to the executive suites.

[swanjun]

I always found Brenda to be the better looking, honestly.

Really? I think Kelly is way prettier. I can't get past Brenda's wonky eyes.

[profreader]

That quote from the I Hate Brenda book made me imagine a team of specialists working a la Face Off with molds, putty, spray adhesive, filler, glass eyes and foam-rubber chins to turn SD's HIDEOUS MISSHAPEN NATURAL FORM into Brenda. They could only shoot for so long before she'd begin to melt under the lights, of course.

[STOPSHOUTING]

OK in the picture of Kelly proffering the sack of hamburgers, I ,at first ,TOTALLY THOUGHT THAT WAS DYLAN from behind, given the haircut, not Jackie, and wondered why he had wrapped the towel around his chest like a girl. OMG, Kelly is dating her mom!

[maxineofarc]

I don't know why I don't hate Steve. Maybe because I don't think there's anything behind his gross misogynist blather and he's just behaving as he thinks he's expected to and he's probably not actually terrible? Maybe? His aggressive heteronormativity feels weirdly performative, and his actions are usually considerate and kind. I like his friendship with Andrea as well. Steve: not completely the worst!

Edited March 28, 2016 by maxineofarc

[Qoass]

Dyan Cannon was a very enthusiastic season ticket holder for the Lakers during that era just like Jack Nicholson so it's no surprise she would turn up here.

 

On a visual aids note, I cannot look away from how very frail Dylan's neck looks in that too-big tuxedo shirt.

[Picture It. Sicily]

In junior high, one of our categories was 'Person Most Likely to Push on a Pull Door', so I can buy 'most naive'. I did not win that, just so you know.

[TimeyWimey52]

Ok, having listened to the podcast AND looked over the visual aids I am still confused by the Dylan Cannon. Can someone please explain the reference? Who is that woman? What are we talking about? Just Carey Grant's daughter being an extra?

[STOPSHOUTING]

Ok, having listened to the podcast AND looked over the visual aids I am still confused by the Dylan Cannon. Can someone please explain the reference? Who is that woman? What are we talking about? Just Carey Grant's daughter being an extra?

 

DYAN Cannon is an actress and one of Hollywood legends Cary Grant's many wives. Together they had Grant's only child, Jennifer, that was born when Grant was 60. Jennifer Grant played Celeste on Beverly Hills 90210. Celeste met and dated Steve during the dating game show episode and occasionally reocurrs on the series for a season or two. I had no idea Celeste was played by Jennifer Grant until Tara mentioned it.

[marceline]

I didn't remember Kelly and Dylan being such a nauseatingly dreary couple and oy that writing of his. Can you imagine what kind of pompous blog he would have if the internet were around then? *shudders*

[Dave in Chicago]

My school's senior superlatives had some pretty dubious categories - I know there was "Most likely to be a guest on 'Jerry Springer'" but I feel like I'm forgetting some that were even more openly judgmental.  I also remember our Ahndrea equivalent deciding to revamp the categories to be less shallow and to remove anything actively insulting.  It was the right call, but I remember some complaints about it being less fun after that. 

[marny]

For a minute I thought that was Ron Jeremy sitting next to Dyan Cannon.

[profreader]

I have made that Ohndrea face so, so many times when looking over editing work...

Edited March 28, 2016 by profreader

[kell710]

Ugh the beginning of this "soulmate" crap. This episode is the real start of the next season long misery-fest that was their relationship. I honestly don't know what the writers were going for at times with them. Were they intentionally trying to have them show such contempt for each other? Were the viewers supposed to infer like Tara and Sara said that they only were into each because of the secrecy and wanting to bone, and now it's boring? Or is this stupid soulmate bs supposed to be tortured and romantic and beautiful? Blech

[FozzyBear]

I'm still baffled as to why everyone faints over Brenda's decision to apply to UM. Besides the implication that they plan to break the law by fudging her address for in-state tuition, why is this a big deal? Didn't Brandon even mention UM as a backup during the stupid "we can only send 1 twin to college" episode? And why does everyone need an explanation of why she wants to get away from this group? In the first place it's totally normal to want to move on from your high school friends. In the second place her boyfriend slept with her best friend so there's that. In the third place what the fuck do Jim and Cindy care about her motivation? It gets their daughter the hell away from Dylan and his never ending drama. Isn't that what they've wanted for 2 years. Why is this a thing?

I can't wait for the next episode. It's awful in a completely unique and strange way. I watched it on Hulu, but I have no memory of it actually airing. Did it? Because it's weird. It's like an improve exercise, but with really bad actors.

[CicelyAlaska]

My high school had those polls. Along with best looking, there was most popular, best eyes, best hair, funniest...I can't believe all of this was allowed. Except the mother of the girl who got best flirt complained and they retired that category. 

[MuuMuuChainsmoker]

My school had those class polls but my year a bunch of princesses on the senior committee just decided to scrap the votes and assign awards as they saw fit. 

 

I may still be outraged that they decided that that only student in the class going to an Ivy League school was awarded "Most Likely to Marry a Millionaire"  What the hell, retro gender norms?!

[scarynikki12]

The rule at my school regarding Senior Superlatives is that there couldn't be doubles.  One girl in my class campaigned for her friend to win for Most Environmental because she (the first girl) wanted to win Best Body and needed the second out of the way.  The general consensus was that Environment girl had the better body between the two but didn't care about that while she did care about the environment and that the other girl was likely to throw a fit at all of us if she didn't win Best Body.

 

In a different year, one of my friends wanted to win Best Eyes.  She didn't win, which was bad enough, but the girl who did win was someone my friend HATED. We're talking Dynasty type hatred here.  According to my friend, this girl got everything that she wanted, which was typically what my friend also wanted.  This girl was often cast as the lead in musicals, was given great solos at the show choir concerts, and even dated a really cute guy with a great singing voice.  My friend was usually the #2 after auditions for the musicals and choir concerts and had a MAJOR crush on the cute singer so she was always in direct competition with her.  So, not winning Best Eyes was the final straw and she became convinced that the other girl was actively trying to sabotage her.  She didn't listen when we tried to (kindly) point out that the other girl was really friendly and nice to everyone which would influence the vote (my friend was more of a loner who barely socialized with her classmates and often acted like they were beneath her when she did). 

 

Senior stuff always brings out some strange behaviors.

 

I think Sarah is right that Dylan and Kelly liked the "danger" of sneaking around and almost (but not quite!) boning while he was with Brenda.  Absent that, they have exactly nothing in common.  BUT they'd both spent the better part of the last year involved in the Triangle From Hell and knew that ending the relationship so soon after The Choice would make them even shittier than they were already.  Hence all the drama.  The retconning and soulmate garbage, which was intended to make them look like they were Meant To Be, only supports the nothing foundation of their relationship.

[bilgistic]

Are Jim's pleated jeans better or worse than the massive moose knuckle Brandon is sporting in that same photo?

[SoupThrower]

My parents were pretty weirded out when I wanted to go to college somewhere else but also local as well. Parents care a lot for some reason I wouldn't understand until I'm a parent in that situation but whatever. Also I can understand that Jim and Cindy would have liked to be told rather than her applying and asking her brother for a processing deposit or whatever. 

 

I forgot the next episode existed. I thought it was the Prom episode next. 

 

Yeah next season Kelly and Dylan become the worst. It made Brandon and the teacher look good. 

[Halo]

My school's senior superlatives had some pretty dubious categories - I know there was "Most likely to be a guest on 'Jerry Springer'" but I feel like I'm forgetting some that were even more openly judgmental.  I also remember our Ahndrea equivalent deciding to revamp the categories to be less shallow and to remove anything actively insulting.  It was the right call, but I remember some complaints about it being less fun after that. 

My school had official superlatives that were published in the yearbook, plus the dubious ones that only came out in the school paper, AND a very questionable set that was passed around by jerkface boys on probably-stolen bad xeroxes. I was in the same year as the Bev9ers would have been if they didn't have two junior years, so maybe it was a 90s thing? I was voted "Most terrifying senior girl" in the school paper list, which I guess means my schoolmates thought I was a bitch. The jerkfaces also "complimented" my tits. West Beverly was tame. 

[Picture It. Sicily]

Dyan Cannon is a fixture at Lakers games. You're more likely to see her than Jack. She brings homemade treats to the players. It's kinda adorable.

[CicelyAlaska]

The rule at my school regarding Senior Superlatives is that there couldn't be doubles.  One girl in my class campaigned for her friend to win for Most Environmental because she (the first girl) wanted to win Best Body and needed the second out of the way.  The general consensus was that Environment girl had the better body between the two but didn't care about that while she did care about the environment and that the other girl was likely to throw a fit at all of us if she didn't win Best Body.

 

In a different year, one of my friends wanted to win Best Eyes.  She didn't win, which was bad enough, but the girl who did win was someone my friend HATED. We're talking Dynasty type hatred here.  According to my friend, this girl got everything that she wanted, which was typically what my friend also wanted.  This girl was often cast as the lead in musicals, was given great solos at the show choir concerts, and even dated a really cute guy with a great singing voice.  My friend was usually the #2 after auditions for the musicals and choir concerts and had a MAJOR crush on the cute singer so she was always in direct competition with her.  So, not winning Best Eyes was the final straw and she became convinced that the other girl was actively trying to sabotage her.  She didn't listen when we tried to (kindly) point out that the other girl was really friendly and nice to everyone which would influence the vote (my friend was more of a loner who barely socialized with her classmates and often acted like they were beneath her when she did). 

 

 

This is literally my version of hell. Worse than when the Cenobytes get you. Worse than being pulled away by the dark shadows in 'Ghost.' How did we ever survive this bullshit. 

[AndySmith]

Dang. Y'all just make high school seem more dramatic than it should have been lol

 

We just had more or less normal categories - Most Likely to Succeed, Most Attractive, Most School Spirit, Most Athletic, Cutest Couple, Best Dressed, etc - and most people didn't worry too much about it.

[jenrising]

Yeah, I don't remember anyone caring about Superlatives in high school, but we also didn't do photo shoot for them. I think it was just one page in the yearbook, and we voted in September, so it was old news by the time it came out. 

 

What I do remember is in 8th grade we had this "Middle School wouldn't have been the same if..." at my all girls school. Those were really messed up. Mine was "If she was ever here," because I was extremely ill and missed over a month of school. My best friend's was, "If she ever smiled." Her father died that year. Children are evil.

[Lisin]

We had Senior Superlatives at my HS too, also in the mid 90s, and also varied from "Most Likely to Succeed" to "Biggest Flirt" and "Class Clown" I also think we had "Best Couple" but not "Best Looking" they were all in our yearbook... but our yearbook was hella strange. There were a LOT of ads in the back, mostly bought by parents of seniors that were I guess... tributes to their kid. It's so odd. Huge page ads of pictures of one person from the school with like, letters from their parents about how great they are... Then again I went to HS in Texas so there was plenty of stuff that was strange. Like the whole school voting on who made the Cheer Squad, and Homecoming Mums. (do yourself a favor and google image that shit if you don't know what I'm talking about). 

 

I was on yearbook staff and I don't think the seniors knew what was going on with the superlatives (so Brandon is... this hurts to say... right about that part). 

[maxineofarc]

Senior Superlatives at my school were kind of ridiculous. All I remember is that I was voted Most Bizarre (which I guess happens when you are the only goth kid in school and it's 1991) and the girl who wanted that one, because she was extremely performatively ZANY, demanded an actual REVOTE, like WHO EVEN CARED THEN, GIRL. In the end they put us both in the picture, I think because nobody could be bothered.

[kfree9]

My 20th reunion was held recently and on the group Facebook page, someone posted our Senior Who's Who (as we called it). I am happy to say I didn't win anything, but some of the ridiculous and/or inappropriate categories (in addition to the standard ones): Best Body, Best Car, Best Legs, and Prettiest Hair. We also had a "Best Dancer," but alas it was not anyone named Patty.

[kfree9]

I cringed when Dylan said, "Come here," after calling Kelly a "lover." My two most "Ugh, gross," inducing romantic phrases in TV and movies are when someone says, "come here," and the person is literally standing RIGHT THERE or "just hold me." When Dylan said it in the podcast I echoed Sarah's "ew," during that whole conversation. So gross.

[txhorns79]

In the first place it's totally normal to want to move on from your high school friends. In the second place her boyfriend slept with her best friend so there's that. In the third place what the fuck do Jim and Cindy care about her motivation? It gets their daughter the hell away from Dylan and his never ending drama. Isn't that what they've wanted for 2 years. Why is this a thing?

 

In fairness, Brenda is pretty dramatic about the whole thing, so her drama amps up everyone else's reaction.  If she treated it like less of a thing, I think others would have as well.  And that doesn't even get into the uber-drama of Brenda's return from Minnesota in Season 4. 

[MissEwa]

We had superlatives but they weren't a public vote but a thing the (three) Senior Yearbook staff put in to be amusing. They were everything from 'most beautiful' (one of the staff, of course) to 'most likely to be caught with a prostitute' and 'most likely to die of a drug overdose.' Every time I move house I find that thing and am more amazed that an actual member of staff let that thing go to print. 

You know, between Jordan and Nikki and Celeste and (purely for the eye-candy) Reek, this really is the season of the multi-episode love interests that I like SO much better than anyone in the main cast. I would watch that spin off - and Steve could even come and visit, at least for a while, until he becomes a dick to Celeste next season. How is he the most (only) likeable one at this point? 

And I'm so, so glad that they've stopped the endless parade of damsels in distress for Brandon to fall in love with and then bray at because they didn't react to the world exactly as he would like them to. I like to imagine that there was the 90s equivalent to altTwitter where all the girls in Beverly Hills were faxing his photo around with warnings about what a "Nice Guy" he was. 

[CurlyATX]

So, true story, my husband went to HS for one year with Jennie Garth, before she left to CA to pursue acting. He did say the first day she came in, she was beyond the most gorgeous girl anyone had every seen. The popular girls hated her for a few hours then realized they needed to befriend her.

Now, given that she's in LA with kids who may all have parents who are models/actors/etc, I don't see how she'd be voted most beautiful. I mean, Suds was gorgeous. But on the show, the senior poll and all senior activities only revolve around the Gang.

oh- I did have a boss who was about 5 years older than me (I'm Tara's age), and she was a Patti (with an I).

[FozzyBear]

I'm with Tara and Sarah in just not getting what the show wanted us to think about Dylan and Kelly. They're so miserable around each other and it doesn't stop. They go on hate fucking each other for the rest of the entire run of the show. It's the strangest writing because I don't think they ever even get a full episode of not hating each other. I know, it's a soap so they need the drama, but other couples go through moments of happiness. Kelly and Brandon and Donna and David had stretches of being happy couples before DRAMA would happen. Kelly and Dylan always look like they hate being together. Why? And why keep coming back to them as a true love couple all the time? Why not just let them die as a couple and then move on? I feel like I'm supposed to think they're a meant to be love story, but I'm not sure why I'm supposed to feel that way. Or why the writers even hit on them as the show's super couple. i don't think Dylan makes substantially more sense as Kelly's true love than Brandon or Steve and honestly Andrea even makes more sense for Dylan than Kelly. I don't understand.

Edited March 29, 2016 by FozzyBear

[scarynikki12]

Kelly and Dylan seemed happiest when they were cheating on someone.  They acted 100% in love when they cheated on Brenda, Kelly had her old smile the couple of episodes when she cheated on Brandon with Dylan, and they both seemed happier* near the end when they cheated on Gina and....that guy Kelly almost married. 

 

I think they get a major rush from deception and that's why a committed relationship made them miserable.

 

*as happy as any of the characters could seem in the final seasons.

[Halo]

 Then again I went to HS in Texas so there was plenty of stuff that was strange. Like the whole school voting on who made the Cheer Squad, and Homecoming Mums. (do yourself a favor and google image that shit if you don't know what I'm talking about). 

We also did that horrible whole school voting on cheerleaders, which included an official assembly where the girls had to publicly audition. During the school day. So glad I've forgotten half of the terrible shit from my teens.

[txhorns79]

We also did that horrible whole school voting on cheerleaders, which included an official assembly where the girls had to publicly audition. During the school day.

 

We did the same thing, except our school had male and female cheerleaders who auditioned.  I feel like I'm missing something though.  What's wrong with having the potential cheerleaders audition?  At our school, after the auditions, ballots were handed out and we voted. 

 

 

Or why the writers even hit on them as the show's super couple. i don't think Dylan makes substantially more sense as Kelly's true love than Brandon or Steve and honestly Andrea even makes more sense for Dylan than Kelly. I don't understand.

 

I would have loved if Dylan went from Brenda to Kelly to Andrea.  Though Andrea just doesn't have Kelly's flare for drama, so Dylan would probably get bored with her pretty quickly.