S03.E12: Last Chance At Romance

[KateHearts]

The "experts" really didn't see that Neil is a sociopath!?! I've seen it since the first episode .

And, David completely disgust me with his lies and excuses. I thought he was being patient and sweet(what Ashley needs), but his true colors showed with him trying to hook up with another girl.

Sociopath?  Hardly.  He's a nerd with what appear to be Asperger's type characteristics.  It's like he really doesn't know how to pick up on cues and is rather stiff and very non-spontaneous in his interactions with Sam.  This won't change.  He says the lines ("I wanted a soul-mate.  I want someone I love to have a great time with") but I'm not sure he knows what they mean.  He's likable in that he's curious and odd, but I don't think guys like that find life partners easily (unless they are very similar- maybe he should look at his lab-mates).

[Vinyasa]

All David has after 6 weeks is an apron!

[LennieBriscoe]

I wish David and Neil had different hair styles. I can't imagine wanting to touch their heads!

Man, Neil's "No" was cold.

[moonxyz]

Neil is socially akward. I don't think he has a mental disorder. 

[Jellybeans]

Neil is socially akward. I don't think he has a mental disorder.

I agree... I am not qualified to diagnose anyone on TV. If I were to hazard a guess, I'd say Ashley and Sam need to see a counselor...

[Empress1]

Man, Neil's "No" was cold.

I was waiting for a "Just kidding!" when he said that, and then when it didn't come I was like "Wow, he really just said flat-out that he didn't miss her?" I mean, Sam doesn't deserve for Neil to miss her - I'd be glad to be away from her if I were Neil. But still, I know that hurt to hear. And on TV!

[IvySpice]

Boy, they're really dragging out this trainwreck, aren't they? I don't know if I'm going to make it without skipping to the reunion. I made the mistake of addicting my husband, and now I'm forced to watch.

[zxy556575]

I don't even think Neil is socially awkward. He's been shown to be relaxed and smiley around his friends but I think made a deliberate choice to withdraw and shut down a bit when interacting with his unpredictable and weird wife.

[Neurochick]

I don't blame Tres one bit for not wanting to give up his apartment.  This marriage isn't a conventional one, so they really shouldn't do what "normal" couples do.  Look, I live in NYC, if you think I'd give up my apartment completely you're insane; I would sublet it though.  I have a friend who lived in a really nice apartment, when she and her boyfriend became serious, she gave it up because they needed a larger place (he had children).  This was over 20 years ago and she still talks about how she wishes she never gave up that apartment.  

 

Nope, I don't blame Tres one bit, and Vanessa acted like a spoiled brat.  She needs to put down the fucking romance novels she's been reading and get back to reality.  

 

And I laughed out loud when Neil said he didn't miss Sam, why the hell should she?  She acts like she doesn't want to have anything to do with him?  What's to miss?  A pain in the neck?

Edited February 17, 2016 by Neurochick

[grumpypanda]

I haven't seen this mentioned but I thought it was kind of strange that Tres didn't shower and change his clothes after having his allergy attack or whatever that was. If it were me I would want to wash the pollen and grass off my skin and put on some fresh clothing. Maybe it's just the clean freak in me but horseback riding in the hot Georgia sun warrants a shower anyway.

I always wanted to add what lame ass gifts Ashley and David got one another. Ashley really went all out with a $10 apron and David got a gift for something the two can do together after they divorce. At least David was able to properly fake enthusiasm for his gift. See Vanessa, that's how you do it.

Edited February 17, 2016 by grumpypanda

[Vinyasa]

 

Boy, they're really dragging out this trainwreck, aren't they? I don't know if I'm going to make it without skipping to the reunion.

Are both the finale and reunion next week??

 

Please let this be over!!

[Liberty]

Glad Sammie and Sam's other friend got a payday for appearing.  It's nice of Sam to spread the bounty around.

 

How much of Sam's change in attitude is connected to her interest in merchandising her financial help empire? 

[Snarklepuss]

It was weird that Neil asked Sam if she missed him, since he was going to say "no" if asked the same. At the same time, I think he was expecting her to make a snarky comment and was genuinely shocked that she seemed to care about his answer. For us viewers, though, it was yet another example of how Sam can dish it out but she can't take it.

 

I thought I heard Neil say to Jamie later that he was going to say "yes" only if Sam said "yes" but her throwing the question back at him confused him and made him think she really meant "no", so he answered "no" thinking that's what she wanted to hear.  I personally think the two of them were getting in each others' way here because she obviously would have meant "yes" and he obviously would have at least said "yes" if not over-thinking what the other one was going to say and screwing it up for the both of them.

[Racj82]

I really, really don't understanding all of the projecting that put on to Tres involving every thing he says and does. Yes, he could very well be just saying things to make himself look good but he could actually be, I don't know, genuine in his actions.

 

Tres doing the dating/clubbing thing doesn't mean he wasn't ready to actually be married. Some people do that because they rather be doing that than staying in. I know that's why I did it.

 

Either way, he has done nothing to imply that he really misses that life or he's fighting with missing the single life on this show. Of course, again he could be pretending. I just don't understand why it seems like everything he does and says is BS to so many people. I know he has tried harder than most people out there would.

 

I had to fast forward through the David and Ashley stuff. I don't believe she cares about him at all and I don't believe David actually believes anything he says about his feeling for her. He can't be that blind. How do you keep growing feelings for someone who acts like she detests you all the time? He will be the perfect husband for someone who wants a doormat.

 

Sam and Neil. I don't think Neil is a sociopath or something along those lines. I think he is passive aggressive as fuck. We've seen that throughout this whole show. I hate to agree with Sam at all but I can see him being a different person from one moment to the next. In that, he retains this representation of himself as the kind, quiet guy but uses passive aggressive remarks to allow him to keep that facade. Now, him being aggravated or lashing back at Sam for how he's been treated doesn't make him a bad person. It makes him human. But, I wish he would actually be truthful about those feelings and just speak his mind instead of using the digs.

 

I actually don't think any of people are bad people. None of them were cut out for this show they signed up for though.

 

David needs to date more. He needs to learn how to read women better, assert himself better and find someone more his speed. If he actually took the time and dated instead of jumping into something like this, he could find a women more his speed.

 

Neil needs to use his damn words. He can't be in a marriage if he's going to remain so incapable of voicing his mind properly and clearly.

 

Sam is just...I don't know. I don't think she's mature enough for marriage just yet. Not saying that you can't be silly and stuff in marriage. But, I mean how she actually talks to Neil and carries herself is not that of a women that is ready for a stable partnership.

 

Judging just based on how she interacted with her ex (based on what she said to her friend) alone and how she was with him for three years without moving in or progressing much at all, she does not need to be trying to marry someone on sight. This is not her speed and was a waste of time.

 

Vanessa has too much baggage. Go to therapy or something. Also, talk to someone about the giggling. Nobody wants to hear that every time you ask a question.

 

Tres should maybe slowly transitioning from the club life to married life. It simply doesn't look well.

 

I honestly don't anyone should be getting married at first sight (personal opinion. everyone can do what they want). But these people? Oy

[Snarklepuss]

I don't blame Tres one bit for not wanting to give up his apartment.  This marriage isn't a conventional one, so they really shouldn't do what "normal" couples do.  Look, I live in NYC, if you think I'd give up my apartment completely you're insane; I would sublet it though.  I have a friend who lived in a really nice apartment, when she and her boyfriend became serious, she gave it up because they needed a larger place (he had children).  This was over 20 years ago and she still talks about how she wishes she never gave up that apartment.  

 

Nope, I don't blame Tres one bit, and Vanessa acted like a spoiled brat.  She needs to put down the fucking romance novels she's been reading and get back to reality.  

 

I don't get the sense that Tres is all that into Vanessa for any number of reasons which could lead back to him or her issues sabotaging his feelings.  I think he would be fine to date her at this point but either he isn't all that into her because he's not ready to settle down or he's got reservations about her in particular or both.  I do think it's kind of unfair to put a woman with such severe abandonment issues with a guy who might not be all that ready to settle down because it's only going to exacerbate her fears and make her act even more needy and rejected.  Even if he did like her a lot if he's not ready for marriage she's going to consider that a rejection.  She signed up for marriage, after all, not a boyfriend who is not ready for marriage.  If he were ready for marriage she might be getting the signals she wants to see from him and not be acting like such a pouty brat.  the way he comes off it looks like he's crafting his escape clause, not really into her but just looking to take things slow.  And if it's the latter he should tell her directly that he's not ready for marriage but just wants to date her instead of fudging out with some middle ground about the living arrangements.  So I kind of see this from both ends.

 

With regard to Manhattan, I agree with you about not letting go of apartments and subletting them, but that's a kind of desert Island situation peculiar to NYC and not Atlanta.  I have a friend who owns an apartment on 23rd Street but has pretty much moved out of NY completely to retire with her family in Puerto Rico, but she still rents the apartment out and refuses to sell.

Edited February 17, 2016 by Snarklepuss

[Soup333]

Sam is full of shit. He doesn't deserve to speak to me anymore. Please. I laughed. She wanted him to beg for forgiveness and he just agreed to get off the phone. I know that pissed her off even more. I laughed again. Nobody misses you, crazy ass.

 

I certainly don't think Neil is a sociopath. He does have a tendency to be passive-aggressive, but I wonder if that would come out as much if he were with a normal, sane woman. 

 

That bitch Ashley. The whole thing with the text "wasn't really good for the relationship"? Well, neither was the way that you've treated him this entire time. 

 

Dr. Pepper looked angry when she was talking to David. She knows this is some bull.

 

Tres. I don't see this super swarmy guy that y'all do, but *shrugs* To be honest, I'm not sure if I could be with a woman as needy as Vanessa seems to be. That gets annoying after a time. 

[PityFree]

I haven't seen this mentioned but I thought it was kind of strange that Tres didn't shower and change his clothes after having his allergy attack or whatever that was. If it were me I would want to wash the pollen and grass off my skin and put on some fresh clothing. Maybe it's just the clean freak in me but horseback riding in the hot Georgia sun warrants a shower anyway.

I agree - in fact, I shouted at my TV for Tres to shower! Or for Vanessa to suggest it and get him some fresh clothing. He needed to get his hair clean of pollen, dust, etc. Vanessa didn't seem all that caring to me. Maybe she was more helpful to him off camera? And they were lying down on the bedspread - which is not washed between guests in most places - so he was getting more yuck on himself.

 

ETA: I didn't like Dr. Pepper sitting in that chair like a creepy little doll while giving David dirty looks. She hasn't seen the footage we have seen (at the time of filming) and she doesn't know the BS David has put up with. I felt like she believed Ashley and blamed David - which is the opposite of how I see the situation. 

Edited February 17, 2016 by PityFree

[Neurochick]

I don't get the sense that Tres is all that into Vanessa for any number of reasons which could lead back to him or her issues sabotaging his feelings.  I think he would be fine to date her at this point but either he isn't all that into her because he's not ready to settle down or he's got reservations about her in particular or both.  I do think it's kind of unfair to put a woman with such severe abandonment issues with a guy who might not be all that ready to settle down because it's only going to exacerbate her fears and make her act even more needy and rejected.  Even if he did like her a lot if he's not ready for marriage she's going to consider that a rejection.  She signed up for marriage, after all, not a boyfriend who is not ready for marriage.  If he were ready for marriage she might be getting the signals she wants to see from him and not be acting like such a pouty brat.  the way he comes off it looks like he's crafting his escape clause, not really into her but just looking to take things slow.  And if it's the latter he should tell her directly that he's not ready for marriage but just wants to date her instead of fudging out with some middle ground about the living arrangements.  So I kind of see this from both ends.

 

 

Vanessa needs help.  The way I see it, no matter what the man does, she'll see it as rejection.  I don't think Tres is an angel but I believe he can see the woman has issues and he probably feels she's not worth it; he can find many more women who don't have abandonment issues.  

[moonxyz]

I don't see what anything that was shown on this episode relate to Vanessa's issues. Tres succeeded in what he wanted to do and he has done so several times: creating a distraction from the actual topic. Does he want to live with ther or not? Simple. Do you Tres?

 

Vanessa is said to be a poor communicator but tres has a hard time giving her a straight answer. Guess they're a match. 

Edited February 17, 2016 by moonxyz

[grumpypanda]

Sometimes I feel like I'm watching a different show then some of you because Tres seems like a decent guy to me. I don't get a smarmy player vibe from him at all. He just seems like a regular guy that was out dating and having fun with his friends before he met Vanessa. Just five weeks ago he had a completely different life so I think it's normal if he misses his old life a bit. I've said it before but I think that Vanessa is probably a nice person but she seems like a lot of work. I think she's less ready for marriage than he is.

Edited February 17, 2016 by grumpypanda

[moonxyz]

Yeah but why is Tres not giving Vanessa a straight answer vanessa's fault? why is it so hard for him to be honest. her issues are her issues. A lot of women wouldn't be ok with their husband partying and having over 20 female friends either. Everyone has the right to like what they like.

 

With Tres i feel that he refuses to tell this girl what he really feel, what his body language has been saying for the past few weeks. He may have valid reasons to not wanting to be with her or to move in with her. But why not just tell her? Why be ambiguous? Not being upfront is dishonest. 

Edited February 17, 2016 by moonxyz

[Lola16]

 

Hah, I likened Neil to Sheldon Cooper last week myself, although in this case I agree with you that he is definitely being deliberately obtuse.  I think he's amping up the flat affect not to get emotionally entangled with Sam because as you say he's still harboring some anger and mistrust of her for the way she's treated him over the month they've been together.  It's still hard to tell which way he's going to go.  I'm starting to wonder if he really starts to believe she's into him he might cave and give her a chance past the 6 weeks but I'm still hoping he doesn't fall for it and runs.  I can see the two of them being friends but in a relationship it would be very unhealthy for Neil especially.

Agreed.  I don't even think friendship with Sam would be healthy for Neil.  Might help Sam a bit, maybe. 

 

Who needs counseling?  Every single one of these people.  I don't think anyone of them are in good shape to get married.  Way too many hang-ups, baggage and unrealistic expectations.

[CindyK]

Preach Moonxyz. Tres is so full of shit. He's great at misdirection and seems to be benefitting from a "good guy" edit on top of it. These experts really need to make way for some who actually have a clue about matching people up.

[Nffftshewasgone]

Ashley is just gross to me, honestly. Between that moustache and the sourpuss expression and the wildly body-unconscious outfits, I just find myself repulsed. I know that, as a straight woman, I am not her target demographic, but if I were a dude I wouldn't bang that with someone else's D.

LOL LOL LOL !!!!!!!!!! Edited February 17, 2016 by Nffftshewasgone

[grumpypanda]

Yeah but why is Tres not giving Vanessa a straight answer vanessa's fault? why is it so hard for him to be honest. her issues are her issues. A lot of women wouldn't be ok with their husband partying and having over 20 female friends either. Everyone has the right to like what they like.

With Tres i feel that he refuses to tell this girl what he really feel, what his body language has been saying for the past few weeks. He may have valid reasons to not wanting to be with her or to move in with her. But why not just tell her? Why be ambiguous? Not being upfront is dishonest.

I don't follow these people on social media so I only can go by what I see on the show. So far I've only seen Tres go out and party once so I don't think that qualifies him as a party animal just yet.

Maybe I missed him saying he had 20 female friends, I find Tres and Vanessa boring most of the time so I fast forward their segments once in awhile.

I still don't get what Tres is being dishonest about. I think he's being practical. They really don't know each other well and I think it makes sense to have a back up plan. Anyway, I might be wrong but from what I see I think he actually cares about her and wants to make it work.

I think Tres and Vanessa might be able to make their relationship work if they could take a step back and have some fun together. These couples skipped the best part of a relationship and jumped right into the daily grind without ever experiencing the honeymoon period.

Edited February 17, 2016 by grumpypanda

[Evil Queen]

I haven't watched yet but always read the comments first. Since I get the vibe that this is like the rest of the season has been, I just had to say a few things. Why is Neil being called a sociopath? First David was called that (another thread) and now Neil is. WTF??? Sorry but that is not something I would use lightly and they are both far from that. I don't know what show you are watching but Sam is a narcissistic bully!  I had seen the clip of him telling her she wasn't missed. Yet when asked that why would you say that is weird then turn the question to the person asking it instead of just moving on if it was weird or answering it? Didn't he say he doesn't miss people right away and it takes some time to miss someone? I wouldn't be surprised if that was producer driven crap. Which of course she has her little "moment" to be "hurt". *rolls eyes* I would bet she was going to say no to begin with if she had answered but turned it to him so she could hurt him since that is what people like her love to do. Instead it backfired and she got the no. Yet he has to apologize like usual. As I said before he came off before the wedding like a fun loving fun oddball guy. He was smiling and happy like with his friends and family but once she started in that was it. Things changed. And those saying he needs to use his voice to speak up to her....um he has a few times and look what that got him? Sam having temper tantrums and making sure he said he was sorry when she should have been the one to say it all this time. She is an abusive bitch. Those of us that have dealt with people like her know that no matter what you say or do they will act butt hurt over it all make you feel like you have to apologize, play nice then back to being nasty and putting you down left and right. Why is it that when they do anything its always what she wants? Why not something he actually would like to do? If I plan a trip with my husband I make sure its something we both want to do and like. If its a surprise trip I wouldn't plan it with me in mind. I'd plan it with him in mind and what he likes to do. Then again I don't need the world to revolve around me like someone like Sam does. Even her poor roommate/friend walks on eggshells around her. Seeing in the comments her that she takes him fishing and yet its something she likes to do.....AGAIN! I doubt she has even asked him what he likes at all. The only thing we know at this point is video games because his friends said something about it. Not because she asked him what he likes. 

   And with Vanessa....the whole she was left by daddy thing....SHE WAS A TEENAGER!!!! Its not like he up and left out of the blue when she was a baby or 8 yrs old. The parents divorced and do we even know why they did? Or why they stopped talking after it happened? I don't remember hearing her say any of this stuff at all. How do we not know she didn't just stop talking to him because of mommy? It happens and she was old enough to understand what the heck was going on in her parents marriage. Honestly if she has that much issues over it she should have gotten help during that time frame. My husband doesn't know his dad because the guy left when he was a baby. Yet he doesn't have these issues. Same with my friend I've known since Jr high and she has never once had issues like that about her dad leaving and not being around. She has no trust issues with her husband and never has. Her marriage is going on 20 yrs and mine on 15 yrs. If that is her excuse for things in adult life she needs help badly. Yet we look at things and Tres was left by his mom too. And really his dad as well if you look at the fact that he says his Aunts raised him. I don't think he was ever really in this but that is just me and what I have gotten from things. I wouldn't be surprised if he is playing on her being insecure to get out of things. I saw the scene online about the little bit of talk for what to do with a place this is over. While it should be discussed, I can understand about not buying something but renting something or moving into one of the places they have already....that is IF they were really going to try to make it work. Maybe he avoided answering because he knows he is done or just wasn't sure yet. But he shouldn't be telling her to look at him when she talks and not the floor or away then turn around and do the same crap he said she was doing. 

  Agree with those saying all these people on this show need to get counseling though..obviously some more then others need it BADLY!!! 

[Nffftshewasgone]

Agreed. I don't even think friendship with Sam would be healthy for Neil. Might help Sam a bit, maybe.

Who needs counseling? Every single one of these people. I don't think anyone of them are in good shape to get married. Way too many hang-ups, baggage and unrealistic expectations.

I've been married 25 years and although it's not always easy, it's the best part of my life. That, and watching our children grow up. I miss my husband every time he leaves the house, and even though I will attend social or family functions without him, I'd really rather not -- it's like going on a sleepover and forgetting your pillow -- you still have a nice time, but DANG, it could be GREAT!

Don't really know why I wrote all that, this show just has me so pissed about how these spouses view and treat each other, and what they expect from each other. Just stop worrying about yourself and what you need and look into the other person's eyes and smile and ask them how their day was. Then, LISTEN.

*drops mic*

[ChristmasJones]

This show is great advertising for match.com  -  how can any of the "experts" on this show believe that they have ANY skill at all in matching people after watching this?????

 

It is such a complete joke. None of these couples are a true, actual match.

 

What I think has happened with V and T is that he liked her looks, but now that he's getting to know more of her deeper personality, he isn't into her anymore.

 

As for Neil this episode- I am torn between two explanations for what we saw - 1. The whole do you miss me thing was a bit of anger coming out toward Sam after putting up with her crap for weeks and 2. He actually has difficulty with subtle emotional cues

 

I sort of think that if it it was #1 he would not have brought the gifts to apologize. If he is someone who actually has some difficulties with reading/responding to emotions, then I would expect exactly what he did- respond in a concrete way by bringing gifts as a way to apologize. That is exactly what I would expect someone to do in that situation where they misread the cues, feel bad about it, and then try to make up for the mistake.

 

This is not to excuse Sam in any way. She is a crazy nutter. But the thing is, when you put people together and they don't get along, both people's worst traits are usually going to come out.

 

Sam does look narcissistic, but I wonder if Neil is just so passive and laid-back that off-camera, that he never asserts himself, and that is making her look more dominating/self-absorbed than she actually is. So when they talk about a trip, he asks what she wants to do and she suggests fishing, and then he just goes along with it.

[Neurochick]

Yeah but why is Tres not giving Vanessa a straight answer vanessa's fault? why is it so hard for him to be honest. her issues are her issues. A lot of women wouldn't be ok with their husband partying and having over 20 female friends either. Everyone has the right to like what they like.

 

With Tres i feel that he refuses to tell this girl what he really feel, what his body language has been saying for the past few weeks. He may have valid reasons to not wanting to be with her or to move in with her. But why not just tell her? Why be ambiguous? Not being upfront is dishonest. 

 

It's kind of hard to talk to someone when every time you talk to them they look away, or won't look at you.  I notice that a lot with her.  It's not that Tres isn't telling her, it's that it's not enough for Vanessa.  He does something for her, she acts like she's not even interested.  Shit, I'm decades older than Vanessa and I have more energy.  

 

Sometimes I think I'm watching a different show too because I don't see Tres as being all that bad; he's just a young guy who seems to be trying, but it's like...it's like they're speaking two different languages and can't understand each other.

 

Don't really know why I wrote all that, this show just has me so pissed about how these spouses view and treat each other, and what they expect from each other. Just stop worrying about yourself and what you need and look into the other person's eyes and smile and ask them how their day was. Then, LISTEN.

 

 

I think that's a very good point.  So many on this show seem to be about ME, ME, ME.  I want___, I need ____.  No mention of the other person.  I also think some of these people believe their spouses are supposed to meet their every need, all the time.  It's almost like no one wants to give, they just want to get; don't know if that makes any sense.  

Edited February 17, 2016 by Neurochick

[BunnySlippers]

Re Sam and Neil always doing what Sam wants: Have we heard Neil actually talk about the kinds of things he likes and the things he would like them to do together? Maybe he has, but I don't remember. It seems to me like he hardly talks at all. On one hand, he seems like a nice, quiet guy, but on the other hand, he seems pretty emotionless. Yes, Sam is all kinds of crazy, but I can see how that could get frustrating. And I agree that Neil is passive-aggressive. True, a few times when he tried to stand up for himself, Sam flew off the handle, but come on, he's an adult. Get some backbone and stand up to her, don't just retreat and walk on eggshells around her just so that she won't get mad at you.

 

If Sam thought that Neil asking her "do you miss me?" was weird, then why did she ask him the same question? And how could Neil not see that it was hurtful of him to just flat out say no? They are both weird. I think Sam was crying when Neil was giving her those gifts because she was genuinely hurt and was afraid that he didn't care about her, and him giving her those thoughtful gifts proved to her that he did care. I do think that he's becoming much more important to her than she'd previously thought possible.

 

Vanessa and Tres: I do agree that it's a bit early to start looking for another place and give up their apartments (and yes, what's wrong with that house? It's on a street? So what?) but Tres should have made it clear that he did want to live with her and did want to have a future with her. So I think they are both at fault there.

 

I agree about the silliness of not taking a shower and putting on fresh clothes when he had that allergic reaction, and I didn't see Vanessa as a very caring caregiver either. She did try, she just didn't seem very warm to me.

 

David and Ashley - meh. I have nothing else for them. Oh, except the kissing and spooning? I wonder when that happened. I bet Ashley didn't want David to reveal it and she was mad when he did.

[Snewtsie]

Vanessa's stinkin' trust issues have grown soooooo tiring. Tres has been an incredibly good partner & has doted on her through this entire process. Plus, her constant need to giggle every time she speaks is ridiculously annoying and I just can't handle it any longer.

Sam & Neil remain the strangest pairing ever. One is a self-centered attention hog and the other is a complete door mat ...and I will be happy if I never hear the word quirky again.

David is still hopeful he can make this marriage to Ashley work ...?? Oy. I was his fan all season, but his blind devotion is just too much. I hope he got some therapy after filming this show to increase his self-esteem and remind him that he deserves to be treated well in his future relationship(s).

[ChristmasJones]

I almost wonder if the men are getting paid extra on the side to just stick with the process no matter what the women throw their way.

 

If the men were being honest, I believe the show would look something like this-

 

Neil would have dropped out after the honeymoon, David would have dropped out a week later, and Tres would have dropped out a couple of weeks ago.

 

But to be fair, if the women were being honest, Ashley and Sam would have dropped out during the wedding.

[okerry]

Re ClareWalks' post, that is one of the things that mystifies me about Ashley. I mean, what does she care about? She seems to have given no thought to how she would look on screen, in her character, personality, and appearance. I guess all she was thinking about at the time was getting through the six weeks. So weird to me.

Ashley seems to have thought that she'd have audience sympathy for being matched with a man who was so obviously unattractive, much like Jamie got in Season One. And she clearly seems to have believed that David's rotten cheating on her would garner her even more sympathy, especially when she so very graciously decided to accept his apology once she decided it was "sincere."

 

Don't get me wrong: David is a clumsy oaf who thinks that if a woman shows the slightest acceptance of physical attention from him, that means he can instantly dive in and push for more and more and more. I can see why he's single because he's going to turn off ever female in the world with that.

 

But Ashley seems to have been stone blind about how she was going to look on camera. Not that it should have mattered to her anyway, if there's any truth to the rumor that she only did the show trying to make her ex-boyfriend jealous (and I think there's a lot of truth to that - again, just like Jamie did.) The ploy seems to have worked for Ashley but failed for Jamie. Oh, well.

 

I just don't think you can go on camera while trying to hide that kind of deception and think it's not going to show. Because it always does. The camera is impartial and it doesn't lie. Virtually everyone watching called both Jamie and Ashley "fake" and "cold." Because they were. They weren't there for the purpose stated, which was to find a husband that they could love and respect and build a life with. They were there hoping to make an ex jealous. Because two other unsuspecting men were involved, the Show ought to sue these two women for breach of contract and they deserve all the derision the viewers are heaping on them. Sorry, chicks, but you earned it, fair and square.

 

About the only way to save this show for another season would be to use polygraph tests to ask, "Are you still hung up on an ex?" and to REQUIRE that the newly married couples live under the same roof. This getting together in the same house solely for filming is utterly ridiculous. But, so is most of this show.

[Neurochick]

Don't get me wrong: David is a clumsy oaf who thinks that if a woman shows the slightest acceptance of physical attention from him, that means he can instantly dive in and push for more and more and more. I can see why he's single because he's going to turn off ever female in the world with that.

 

 

I think saying "every female in the world" is a bit of a stretch unless you know every female in the world.  

 

Also, some women don't mind if a guy pushes for more and more; it's not like all females are like Blanche DuBois, and are deathly afraid of "such brutish creatures."

[Tara Ariano]

In case you missed it, here's the Previously.TV post on the episode!

 

The Married At First Sight Couples Have One Last Chance For Romance!
It's the penultimate week of this, the greatest social experiment the world has ever seen, and the couples are all over the place. Who's doing the best and worst this week?

[Paddywagon]

Sam is full of shit. He doesn't deserve to speak to me anymore. Please. I laughed. She wanted him to beg for forgiveness and he just agreed to get off the phone. I know that pissed her off even more....

I think you're on to something here, soup333! I mean, aren't these totally things a dominatrix would say? Whoa, that would explain a LOT about Sam.

Dear Dr. Logan: yeah, you probably missed that when selecting Sam.

[Gem 10]

Yes. I was nuts already after the first ten minutes. I immediately went to my I pad to vent my frustration, or should I say disgust. After reading other comments already on this site, I had a migraine and had to take two pills. This whole season between the six newly marrieds and the experts (what a laugh) stunk. People can say what they want, but, for me, I loved last season. Jacqueline was funny, sexy, good hearted with mr. Basements family and interesting. Davina was a smart city girl .. Her husband a phoney, and Ryan D. A womanizer, but the show had interest. This season, all I saw was ass kissing, flowers and sour pusses. I still can't believe Sam is a bank manager .. Sorry. She is a lunatic. If there is another season, the producers better step it up with everything.

[Jellybeans]

I feel like I've been watching this season for 3 years now. 

Only three years? LOL! ;-)

[Gator Stud]

Yeah but why is Tres not giving Vanessa a straight answer vanessa's fault? With Tres i feel that he refuses to tell this girl what he really feel, what his body language has been saying for the past few weeks. He may have valid reasons to not wanting to be with her or to move in with her. But why not just tell her? Why be ambiguous? Not being upfront is dishonest.

He is not allowed to say that he doesn't want to get married until the final episode. Maybe he doesn't know yet if he wants to stay with her or not. Vanessa is forcing the issue prematurely.

[VioletNevermind]

Week number 78 of this seemingly never-ending season . . .

 

Tres/Vanessa: As much as I genuinely like Tres, he is turning into a pretty smooth operator, and not necessarily in a good way.  On one hand, I see his point about not giving up their respective apartments.  I'm sure the market for decent apartments in safe neighborhoods can be extremely competitive.  But people willingly sign up for this show with the full knowledge that they will be married.  There is a certain amount of risk inherent in that.  It doesn't seem like either of them could fully commit themselves emotionally if they know they have that safety net waiting to catch them.  I've said it before: I think Tres is a good guy at heart, but he has a bit of growing up to do before he should be married.  As for Vanessa, I really like her as a person, but I'm sick and tired of hearing about her "trust issues."  If you live life for long enough, you'll surely develop an issue or two, but part of adulthood is figuring out how to navigate those issues.  Otherwise, you're just relying on crutches and using them as excuses when things don't work out like you want them to.  Vanessa needs to learn to communicate face-to-face with her partner, voice her needs, and air her concerns in a calm, honest way.  You can feel the frustration radiating from Tres.  Do I think this marriage will ultimately last?  Probably not, but I suspect that they may stick it out for a while.  

 

Neil/Sam: Dayum, Neil.  I'm Team Neil all the way, but I can understand why Sam was so hurt by his comment that he wasn't missing her at all.  Yes, Sam has been seriously nasty and standoffish to Neil, but still.  Come on, man.  I found Sam's tear-stained reaction to the little gifts he brought her from his trip to be . . . interesting.  Obviously, there's a whole lot that we're not seeing during the course of filming, so we never really have the full context of these situations, but it still seemed a bit overblown.  If Neil ends up staying with her because of the pathetic crumbs she's thrown him recently, I will be pissed.  A couple of side hugs over the course of six weeks do not a marriage make.

 

David/Ashley: I have been on David's side since day one.  Ashley, being the unrepentant bitch she is, never even gave David a chance from the moment she laid eyes on him.  She focused 100% on his appearance, which is not at all bad.  It's not as if David comes off like a troll who's been living under a bridge for the last 20 years.  However, there comes a time when it's pathetic to continue to expect someone to warm up to you after being treated like shit by them for weeks.  David is still repeating that same old, tired mantra about "fighting for my marriage" and "not giving up on my wife."  At this point, David is officially a putz and he's kind of making me sick.  It's easy to sympathize with someone who is being mistreated, but not when they repeatedly and intentionally place themselves in the line of fire.  I hope he gives her three parting gifts at the finale: two raised middle fingers and a Lady Gillette razor.

 

Each and every one of these jackass "experts" are a joke.  I wouldn't turn to them for advice on what I should eat for dinner tonight, much less on whom to marry.

Edited February 17, 2016 by SuzyLee

[numbnut]

I had a feeling Sam would fall hard for Neil. I'm still waiting for the reveal that Ashley and David are siblings. They look so much alike. Ashley checked out long ago so I don't understand why she's still there. Is there a contractual obligation to do every episode as a couple? David has arrested development. He's like a 10 year old and his grief over his dad is bizarre. Didn't the man die over two decades ago? Is that when David stopped growing emotionally? I can see why Tres would be reluctant to give up his apartment after Vanessa showed that she's quick to bail, but no one is immune to the risk of choosing the wrong house. Vanessa's reaction to the surprise romantic getaway is a red flag -- if this is what she regularly expects from marriage, she's doomed.

[Jack Sampson]

I haven't watched yet but always read the comments first. Since I get the vibe that this is like the rest of the season has been, I just had to say a few things. Why is Neil being called a sociopath? First David was called that (another thread) and now Neil is. WTF???

A one post troll account that bashed the men and praised the women started that. No sane person thinks he's a sociopath.

Neil's weird and seems to have some social anxiety but he's not a sociopath by any classical definition.

Edited February 17, 2016 by Jack Sampson

[VioletNevermind]

David has arrested development. He's like a 10 year old and his grief over his dad is bizarre. Didn't the man die over two decades ago? Is that when David stopped growing emotionally? 

 

You phrased this perfectly.  I've been trying to figure out how I feel about his monumental breakdowns over this father, including the shamefully televised graveyard scene from last week.  I'm 40 this year and lucky enough to still have both of my parents, so I won't even begin to presume that I know what it's like to lose my dad.  However, I think David said his father passed away when he was seven.  I'm no grief expert, but I would think that more than 20 years (and many of them as an adult) would help to blunt some of that pain and put it into perspective.  I have all the sympathy in the world for David, but he might consider some counseling if this continues to hurt him to this intense extent.

[Nffftshewasgone]

SuzyLee, LOL! !!!

Let's all meditate on Three Parting Gifts.

[suzeecat]

I tend to believe the story about Ashley doing the show/social experiment to make her ex jealous.  I think she felt like she just might hit the jackpot and get matched with a real dreamboat so that she could tell her ex "nyah-nyah, see what you COULD'VE had, but it's too late, sucker!"  On the other hand, if she didn't care for her match, she could hopefully work the ex's jealousy in her favor and at the very least, collect a nice paycheck.  A win-win situation, all that's needed is to keep the charade going for six weeks. 

 

My opinion on Sam is that she is desperately trying to make this work so she can continue the "reality STAR" gravy train like Jaimie.  However, she's swimming upstream with Neal because she's already turned him off and he is distrustful of her intentions.  I can't blame him.  I see Sam literally THROWING HERSELF ON NEAL and he does nothing in response.  Is he asexual, inexperienced, or just not into her in the least? 

 

Tres and Vanessa, I have a harder time seeing through their story.  Other than one night out with the boys, Tres has not given Vanessa any reason to not trust his intentions, but the viewers don't see the entire story.  They just seem very uncomfortable around each other (or maybe it's the cameras?), and I swear that nervous giggling is starting to wear off on Tres - I caught him doing it a couple times last night!

 

Sadly, I just don't think the premise of this show is do-able, as much as I love/hate to watch it unfold.  The first season they got lucky with one decent match (Jason and Courtney) and one couple that had a fame whore and a gullible "try anything" guy.  The rest have just been miserable train wrecks with very damaged people.

[Jellybeans]

Can I say something about David's grief?

I lost most of my family in a short space of time... my dad, grandmother, uncle, aunt and cousin. Within months. But the hardest loss was my daughter. She has been gone seven years.

I doubt David said "hey let's film me at the cemetery with dad so I can cry" so I am sure it was producer driven. Grief demands to be felt and it will show up at the most unlikely time and places. Yes, beer is a tradition. Lots of odd things are traditions. Like picnics and drinking parties at the cemeteries.

I really hate it when people tell grieving people how to grieve when they themselves are not grieving. You know?

And SuzyLee, this is not directed at you- I have seen many people online mention David's grief with his Dad and I did not think it was so odd... just saying. ;-)

Edited February 17, 2016 by Jellybeans

[Cherrio]

You phrased this perfectly.  I've been trying to figure out how I feel about his monumental breakdowns over this father, including the shamefully televised graveyard scene from last week.  I'm 40 this year and lucky enough to still have both of my parents, so I won't even begin to presume that I know what it's like to lose my dad.  However, I think David said his father passed away when he was seven.  I'm no grief expert, but I would think that more than 20 years (and many of them as an adult) would help to blunt some of that pain and put it into perspective.  I have all the sympathy in the world for David, but he might consider some counseling if this continues to hurt him to this intense extent.

I have thought it strange since the first episode, Davids reaction about his father.   I also agree with the other poster that he seems to be emotionally stunted. His reaction, his excuses , everything about him is always been strange and also skeevy to me.    It also reeked of someone who had been caught in similar situations many times before.

[numbnut]

You phrased this perfectly.  I've been trying to figure out how I feel about his monumental breakdowns over this father, including the shamefully televised graveyard scene from last week.  I'm 40 this year and lucky enough to still have both of my parents, so I won't even begin to presume that I know what it's like to lose my dad.  However, I think David said his father passed away when he was seven.  I'm no grief expert, but I would think that more than 20 years (and many of them as an adult) would help to blunt some of that pain and put it into perspective.  I have all the sympathy in the world for David, but he might consider some counseling if this continues to hurt him to this intense extent.

 

He def. needs counseling. After two decades he should be able to recall his dad and their time together with a smile. For me that process took two years, but YMMV.

Edited February 17, 2016 by numbnut

[DangerousMinds]

I think saying "every female in the world" is a bit of a stretch unless you know every female in the world.  

 

Also, some women don't mind if a guy pushes for more and more; it's not like all females are like Blanche DuBois, and are deathly afraid of "such brutish creatures."

I agree. I am a pretty fast mover myself.:) Also, I definitely don't think that David is "so obviously unattractive." His looks are fine.

He is not allowed to say that he doesn't want to get married until the final episode. Maybe he doesn't know yet if he wants to stay with her or not. Vanessa is forcing the issue prematurely.

They already ARE married.

Edited February 17, 2016 by DangerousMinds

[VioletNevermind]

Can I say something about David's grief?

I lost most of my family in a short space of time... my dad, grandmother, uncle, aunt and cousin. Within months. But the hardest loss was my daughter. She has been gone seven years.

I doubt David said "hey let's film me at the cemetery with dad so I can cry" so I am sure it was producer driven. Grief demands to be felt and it will show up at the most unlikely time and places. Yes, beer is a tradition. Lots of odd things are traditions. Like picnics and drinking parties at the cemeteries.

I really hate it when people tell grieving people how to grieve when they themselves are not grieving. You know?

And SuzyLee, this is not directed at you- I have seen many people online mention David's grief with his Dad and I did not think it was so odd... just saying. ;-)

 

First of all, I'm so sorry, Jellybeans.  This is one area that I really don't know much about and I would never presume to know how someone should grieve for a loved one, particularly such a close relative.  I absolutely agree that the cemetery scene was producer-driven.  I actually liked that David brought a six-pack to the cemetery.  It has to hurt him that he never got to have a beer with his dad.