S03.E09: Making Memories

[Jade Foxx]

Regarding The Robot, I'm somewhere between this theory:

 

There seems to be something off to me about Ashley.  I know everyone thinks she is being hard on David but I wonder if there could be other issues at play?  She had a brain tumor removed from her forehead when she was a baby so could that have affected her cognitive abilities?  She seems completely vacant at times.    Maybe when it comes to emotions she is emotionally stunted and that is why she cannot pull from within and answer the most simple questions.   Her twin brother was born with disabilities. 

 

and this one

 

 

I don't think there's anything wrong with Ashley other than being unable to handle her own feelings let alone someone else's.  I think the pressure she feels she is under with everyone's expectations of her in the situation is crippling her.  I am sure her parents, friends, herself, the experts, David, even the public's expectations are making her completely shut down to feeling anything at this point.  I think it's a defense mechanism.  That's why she seems so "Bride of Spock" at this point.  She is too immature to handle all of that pressure and didn't bargain for it.  She thought she was going to fall for the guy like "The Bachelor" and not be in that situation.  But she should have been realistic enough to know she could have been paired with a Mr. Average and not be gaga over him, and know how she might react to that.

 

and she would have to come up with an honest, self-reflective explanation about her behavior (after watching herself) in order for me not to believe she's a heinous human being. 

 

I'll have to address Sam the Goon in another post....

[Waterlilly]

Ashley and David's wedding pictures said it ALL

This was the first episode that I felt Neil is not into Sam, but yet he could think of nice things to say. Class act.

Who is Vanessa texting all the time? Their wedding pictures were beautiful.

[seasick]

I think there were some valid issues with Sam/Neil's house that was better off not said.  They alluded to it in a former ep. but then dropped it.  These houses are either up for sale or rent so probably best not to broadcast any issues and just make up an exuse.

 

I do think it's very possible that Ashley has some kind of brain anomaly from her operation as a child.  Her reactions are so strange and odd that I'm beginning to rethink my criticisms of her.  Although I do think that the pressure and exposure is overwhelming for her, I also think that there is a different wiring in Ashley.  I think much of her inability to relay thoughts and feelings (and put them together) is a physiological problem.

 

I'm not saying she's Asbergers (sp?) but that is an example of a brain function where there is high intelligence but a problem relating emotionally.  One does not always affect the other

[jmonkey]

Tres and Vanessa: They appear to be a good match. I'm sure the experts are whipping each other fives for nailing it since they don't get it right very often. I absolutely love that Tres cooking for Vanessa involved a bag of Doritos. I can so relate to that style of cooking as a bachelor myself. I do find them boring in a married couple sort of way, but that's also kind of refreshing this season. I will always like Tres for saying something like "I consummated the shit out of that" when asked if they consummated the marriage. That was the best line ever on MAFS.

 

Neil and Sam: I'm not a violent person, but I commend Neil for not smacking Sam when she was making those stupid faces during what was supposed to be a serious, intimacy-building exercise. That's just as bad as breaking out laughing during sex. Studies have shown that eye contact for a long period of time can build attraction, but I don't think Sam was prepared for an intense moment like that much to the chagrin of Neil. It was cool that they could bond over Jewish cooking, but I think that was just because it was something Sam was interested in. Sam would probably make jokes throughout Neil's chosen activity. Neil really doesn't need or ask for much from his wife, and whenever he gets anything from Sam that's remotely human, he seems very appreciative. Sam is having her cake and eating it too. She gets to be on the show and be Neil's wife while getting to go home to Sammie, her roommate with benefits. Neil deserves better IMO and will be swimming in it if he ends up getting a divorce on the show. There's a lot of women in the market for a Neil these days.

 

David and Ashley: If anybody could've made it work with any woman, it would've been David. He seems extremely committed to the process and as "gung ho" about being married as anyone I've ever seen until he met Ashley, who could be the biggest buzzkill on the planet. If she would just give him anything at all, he'd take it and run with it. I don't understand why she couldn't say 3 things she liked about David to his face. She had no problem doing it in the THs. Is she that scared of leading him on that she's going to give him the dead fish the entire time? I mean, he already knows she's repulsed by him and she's not going to be able to get past that. She needs to woman up and tell him she's just waiting out the time until the imminent divorce. Maybe if she did that she could stop being such a heartless wench to him. If the previews are to be believed, David gets busted next week for something related to another woman. If true, that's pretty bad that he couldn't wait just a few more weeks after the divorce to start playing the field. I can't say I blame him, but this is just going to provide fodder for Ashley to be a victim and give her justification for completely disrespecting this process. Like Neil, David will also have a plethora of women throwing themselves at him after the show.

Edited January 27, 2016 by jmonkey

[henrysmom]

You know, this show just made me sad.  Supposedly these people signed up because they really want to be married, to have somebody to love.  And yet we have at least two people who are clearly not into it.  I honestly don't know why Sam and Ashley went on this show, but it was just cruel to cast them.  I'd have to guess the pool of applicants was just so small that the producers had no choice, but David and Neil don't deserve this.

[Waterlilly]

Ashley and Sam may have prevented David and Neil from getting a good match. Of course we will never know but I keep wondering what the runner up was like.

These "experts" are sure giving Ash and Sam more of a pass than they did Davina.

[psychoticstate]

I too could not believe that Ashley could not come up with anything nice to say about David.  She must really have absolutely no feelings for him and only did the show for a paycheck to feed her dog.  That was beyond cruel to not say one good thing. 

 

 

Seriously!  I could very easily have come up with how thoughtful David is, he's funny (although maybe Ashley doesn't see that), he's very patient, he has a good, close relationship with his mother and he seems to have great friendships with his "bros."  That wasn't difficult at all and very true.

[Vinyasa]

"I'd have to guess the pool of applicants was just so small that the producers had no choice, but David and Neil don't deserve this."

Oh please, didn't something like 30,000 people apply?

Edited January 27, 2016 by Vinyasa

[Neurochick]

I have to disagree with this comment as a black male. Putting aside the effect that the bogus drug war had on black males employment opportunities, there are plenty of successful black males. Black females have the same amount of dating options as black males. I think what you are saying is black males are more open to dating outside of their race than black females are. I am not sure if this is true or not. I know one thing is true: regardless of one's race, the more successful you are, the better dating opportunities that you have. I agree with the rest of your post though.

 

Perhaps you're right, and perhaps, he's right http://ismarriageforwhitepeople.stanford.edu/

Edited January 27, 2016 by Neurochick

[cpcathy]

In his talking heads, David keeps saying he's frustrated with Ashley and him being just best friends. Best friends??? David, that woman hates you! Even with people I only marginally like I could come up with something nice to say about them. Ashley seems to be the unhappiest woman on the planet, and it's torture to get through an episode!

[bichonblitz]

 

I too could not believe that Ashley could not come up with anything nice to say about David.  

How about:

1. Thoughtful

2. Considerate

3. Patient

Wow, that was difficult, wasn't it? Asslee is one of the most vile, self centered, heartless, vacant people on earth. To not be able to come up with something nice to say about a decent guy like David is beyond me. So she's not attracted. Be nice, for god's sake. Is that really too much to ask?  It's just a matter of human decency.

David needs to take a cue from Neil and go back to his own place. Just be done with her. She's not worth it. What she deserves is to be alone for the rest of her life with her cock blocking pooch. 

[BunnySlippers]

I think there were some valid issues with Sam/Neil's house that was better off not said.  They alluded to it in a former ep. but then dropped it.  These houses are either up for sale or rent so probably best not to broadcast any issues and just make up an exuse.

 

Do you  mean "the house is creepy" thing they said? I wondered about that.

 

 If the previews are to be believed, David gets busted next week for something related to another woman. If true, that's pretty bad that he couldn't wait just a few more weeks after the divorce to start playing the field. I can't say I blame him, but this is just going to provide fodder for Ashley to be a victim and give her justification for completely disrespecting this process. Like Neil, David will also have a plethora of women throwing themselves at him after the show.

 

I agree. I had the same thought: why couldn't he wait just a little longer before asking out another woman? Well, we'll find out next week. Maybe he was just trying to make Ashley jealous. Which, of course, won't work, since she doesn't care about him at all.

[cpcathy]

BTW, I missed David/Ashley's wedding photos, how horrific were they?

[Soup333]

LOL, but you never know, if she did she might turn out like Lore, which would arguably be worse because then she would be doing even worse vile things such as ripping David's head off, like Lore did to Data!!

 

Maybe this is what happened to Sam...

[henrysmom]

David kind of poked fun at the pictures, trying to get a reaction from Ashley.  She didn't really respond.

 

I thought the pictures were your standard issue wedding pictures.  Some beautiful, some awkward.  

[Empress1]

I agree. I had the same thought: why couldn't he wait just a little longer before asking out another woman? Well, we'll find out next week. Maybe he was just trying to make Ashley jealous. Which, of course, won't work, since she doesn't care about him at all.

Me too. It's what, two more weeks at this point? That's nothing. Of course, it could be a red herring - he's in sales, the mystery woman might be a client or something. But even if she IS a woman he's interested in, Ashley won't care - actually, she'll be happy because it'll give her an easy out. "I can't trust you" and blah blah blah.

[crazychicken]

Actually on the house thing I am wondering if the problem actually was just timing over in the social media thread a poster pointed out the Neil & Sam were married June 28th, 3  weeks after the others (June 6th & 7th). We have speculated that production books and pays for houses for the 6 week experiment before the wedding to ensure that the participants have a place to stay that they can move into straight after the honeymoon. The media have the weddings as the 5th, 6th & 7th June, so if a couple dropped out the experts needed to call in a back up couple that need to go through all the wedding preparations that take 3 weeks, and there lies the issue, production booked the house from June 5th for 6 weeks not expecting for a couple to start the experiment 3 weeks late.

 

That's my theory anyway.

[stuckin60s]

Some posters are saying that there may be a medical issue with Ashley

 

I dont buy it.  She is clear in her TH, talking with the experts, Davids friends, her friend.  She was a social worker, that requires thoughtful conversations and a lot of interaction with people

 

she just cant talk to David.  i thought Dr C tried to stress that David wasnt her type not necessarily she was not attracted.  i would love to see David and Dr Cs private conversation.

 

last nights TH, she could only talk about me, me,me where David was frustrated but talked about we...

[DangerousMinds]

David kind of poked fun at the pictures, trying to get a reaction from Ashley.  She didn't really respond.

 

I thought the pictures were your standard issue wedding pictures.  Some beautiful, some awkward.  

She has no sense of humor, it seems. As I've grown older, I've come to realize to that a sense of humor is far more important than a person's looks.

[Neurochick]

Why should Ashley care if David texts another woman?  She doesn't want to have anything to do with him, she doesn't talk to him, she doesn't even want him to touch her.  I mean he just sent a text to another woman; do people today equate sending texts with having actual sex?  I know I'm an old fart but since when does talking to another person equal cheating?  You can't be everything 100% of the time to a spouse, especially one who hates you.

Edited January 27, 2016 by Neurochick

[IvySpice]

I agree that Neil, and even more so David, are going to be drowning in marriage proposals if they wisely walk away from these "wives."

 

I don't suspect that there's anything wrong with Ashley besides a bizarre lack of fit for this kind of show. I don't think she belongs on reality TV, period, least of all in a marriage experiment.

[Soup333]

Why should Ashley care if David texts another woman?  She doesn't want to have anything to do with him, she doesn't talk to him, she doesn't even want him to touch her.  I mean he just sent a text to another woman; do people today equate sending texts with having actual sex?  I know I'm an old fart but since when does talking to another person equal cheating?  You can't be everything 100% of the time to a spouse, especially one who hates you.

 

At this point, I don't care if he was texting or sexting the woman. Ashley does not like him. She does not want to be around him. She can't even think of three nice things to say to his face. She doesn't even want her knees touching his. There is no point and no future in this "marriage" and he is wasting his time if he thinks they stand any chance in turning it around. 

[seasick]

Am I the only one who is getting totally fed-up with Neil??  Seriously?    

Hating Sam is a given.  She is an ignorant cow-- no argument there.  Abusive, foolish, cocky, self-absorbed, completely full of shit and a consummate ass-kisser when she talks with the experts.  Most of what I see in her on camera is a 'shtick'.. Yes.   

 

But when the show first started I so admired Neil.  He seemed the most mature and very well-rounded.  .Intelligent, varied interests, open-minded etc.   I thought he would be the most relatable of all the players.  Maybe that's why I'm so frustrated and aggravated with him..   I'm so over his rosy bullshit  "Sam and I are going to make soup? and I'm really looking forward to that? I am interested in getting to know more about Sam's culture!   I could scream.  He is so full of shit.

 

I am SO waiting for someone to call Sam out on her behavior, but I don't think it's the experts job to do so if Neil can't find the balls to say something himself!!  He has completely capitulated who he is to not only become Sam's toadie, but to be the "perfect experiment participant"..   "Go along to get along"  is not a relationship. I understand that she is overbearing and he might not want to confront her head-on, especially in the beginning but he peddles that "happy horseshit" in his TH's as well.  It's an insult to anyone's intelligence.  In his own way he's just as full of shit as Sam is.

Neil,  there is a huge stinking nasty abusive cow in the room...How long are you going to pretend you don't see it??  I hate to say it because in many ways I like the guy but he is the definition of a limp dick..  

 

I keep thinking that David's text is to a female friend, and he is wanting to meet to get her advice on the 'marriage".  We'll see.  

[henrysmom]

 

Am I the only one who is getting totally fed-up with Neil??  Seriously?

I think he is waiting for the clock to wind down much as Ashley is.   He looks so tired and worn out in the last two episodes.  I have a feeling he is just trying to get through the next few weeks without poking the bear and getting Sam riled up over nothing, leading to more drama and accusations from her.  I think if he still cared about this "marriage", or thought Sam was worth fighting for, he'd fight.  But I think he just realizes he is up to his knees in crazy and is trying not to drown in it until he can escape without paying any penalty.  

[Lola16]

Neil speaks so measured it comes across as fake.  His face is almost frozen when he speaks - botox? or just controlled.  Not surprised that Sam calls him out as fake.

 

Vanessa makes a freudian slip when talking to Tres grandma.  Tres looked genuinely hurt in that scene.

 

David demands that they talk about their relationship and when Ashely does, he looks away and fiddles with his ring so much I thought it would fall off through the porch floorboards.  He's also still going on about how some therapist had to tell him that Ashely isn't attracted to him and that Ashley told everyone except him.  Exaggerate much?  He'll keep bringing it up and beating her with it no matter how much she apologies.  That's him being sensitive. 

 

Kickball yay.  Maybe next time dodgeball.

[qtpye]

Why should Ashley care if David texts another woman?  She doesn't want to have anything to do with him, she doesn't talk to him, she doesn't even want him to touch her.  I mean he just sent a text to another woman; do people today equate sending texts with having actual sex?  I know I'm an old fart but since when does talking to another person equal cheating?  You can't be everything 100% of the time to a spouse, especially one who hates you.

 

 

It's not that she cares about David, it's that she wants to look good in front of the experts and the t.v. audience.  Ashley is very aware of the camera.  She is going to sob about how she is "trying so hard", even though she finds David hideous and he can't even commit to her for six weeks. 

 

She is trying to game the system in a similar fashion that Sean was, last season.  However, unlike Sean, production is not on her side.

[cecig75]

 

These "experts" are sure giving Ash and Sam more of a pass than they did Davina.

 

I wasn't a fan of Davina or Jamie...and still am not, but I feel they eventually let their guard down. Ashley and Sam love to throw shade at the MAFS editing by some of the posts I've read on social media, but you cannot edit their bad attitudes and facial expressions! It's disappointing to see Neil and David totally thrown to a pack of wolves(literally).

 

Vanessa needs to stop worrying so much about what Tres is thinking, feeling, saying, etc. Love takes time to grow for everyone! You can see Tres is really into her just by the way he looks at her...kinda like Jason was with Cortney.

 

We need a MAFS "where are they now" after the 6 month reunion!

 

[LennieBriscoe]

What episode was it where we learned Ashley had head surgery?

 

Anyway, I'm not buying any "Asperger's" or some such; or not only would she not have been cast; Ashley would be pleading for David to bear with her. Her "problem" is, in a word, INDIFFERENCE. UTTER INDIFFERENCE (two words!). She is DETERMINED to say nothing remotely positive to or about David. ZEE-RO. She doesn't want to "try" or "get used to" him or compliment him or look at him or touch and be touched by him or anything else associated with this man named David! 

 

Now, whether or not she took on this contract in bad faith is another matter. I think both Sam and Ashley might have been hoping for the same type of guy they've always been attracted to, but that the "experts" would somehow make it turn out right this time.

 

Did Neil outright state to his friend that he was "not attracted to" Sam? Why would he say this on-camera?

 

As for Tres' Dorito salad: SODIUM! (Taco shells are not Doritos, Tres!)

 

I don't think anyone was thrown literally to the wolves! Ha!

Edited January 27, 2016 by LennieBriscoe

[seasick]

I think he is waiting for the clock to wind down much as Ashley is.   He looks so tired and worn out in the last two episodes.  I have a feeling he is just trying to get through the next few weeks without poking the bear and getting Sam riled up over nothing, leading to more drama and accusations from her.  I think if he still cared about this "marriage", or thought Sam was worth fighting for, he'd fight.  But I think he just realizes he is up to his knees in crazy and is trying not to drown in it until he can escape without paying any penalty.  

I wish I could believe that--and it would be great to hear him say something like that at the reunion  esp. the "up to his knees in crazy" part -lol.  He is acting alot like a hostage.tho  ('until he can escape") as you say.   Lord.  

No I fear he will never say no--Sam will do this huge drama act at the end and I don't think Neil will ever have to say anything negative.  Sam may actually say she wants to stay together and I fear Neil will go along!!  (there can be no 'criticisms' of Sam  if they stay together right?  Can't argue with 'success"....)  

 

Then at the reunion you can bet Sam will gush on how the experts are such geniuses (she won't get an argument from them about that)  and tell them, head bobbing sincerely--how much she's grown because of their fabulous insights and matchmaking abilities.   

[Adeejay]

Every time I thought  Ashley's attitude and behavior couldn't get any worse, she managed to prove me wrong.  After "living" with David for over three weeks, she couldn't even think of one nice thing to say about him, let alone three.   How about:  1)  He is kind.  He has never said one bad thing about her. 2) He is thoughtful.  He offered to pay the rent and expenses, to alleviate some of her stress.  3) He is patient.  Otherwise he would have left her by week three.  I am glad he finally came to his senses, because I found his cheerful and positive attitude utterly absurd.  I don't understand why he had to wait for Dr. Cilona to tell him that  she wasn't physically attracted to him.  I guess the fact that she kept him at arm's length and wasn't making an effort to get to know him weren't big enough clues. 

 

Neil's admission that he wasn't attracted to Sam didn't surprise me.  I have a feeling most of the grooms weren't attracted to their brides, but were too polite to say so.   The women on the other hand, don't seem to have that problem.

[ClareWalks]

 

As for Tres' Dorito salad: SODIUM! (Taco shells are not Doritos, Tres!)

 

To be fair, I doubt anyone on Earth could make a full-size taco salad, no matter how healthy, for under 800 mg sodium. The seasoning in the meat alone is a nightmare for that ;) 

[seasick]

What episode was it where we learned Ashley had head surgery?

 

Anyway, I'm not buying any "Asperger's" or some such; or not only would she not have been cast;  

 

 

 

 

No one suggested Ashley had Asperger's.  Aspergers syndrome was used as an example to illustrate that a person can be highly functioning intellectually but have poor ability to connect emotionally and socially.  

[Jade Foxx]

 

David demands that they talk about their relationship

 

Yep. After trying to "ask" her politely about sixty thousand times.

 

 

He's also still going on about how some therapist had to tell him that Ashely isn't attracted to him and that Ashley told everyone except him.  Exaggerate much?  

 

If I got played by a corpse on TV for all the world to see, I'd want answers, too. 

 

 

He'll keep bringing it up and beating her with it no matter how much she apologies.  That's him being sensitive.

 

That's him FINALLY being righteously fed up with with Ashley's bullshit. That's him FINALLY acting like he has some 'nads. 

[rab01]

David and Ashley should spend more time just socializing with other people and doing activities together. They need to go and do whatever passes for hobbies in Ashley-land and hang out with whomever she calls friends. It can be easier to mesh with someone in group settings than in one-on-ones. You can get self-conscious and in your head when doing fish-bowl kinds of crap. I get that they're both busy and production has certain boxes to check but their interactions are "work" when it's just the two of them.

 

From what they've shown us, Ashley seems to be one of those people that can interact in group settings at least a little bit.  So, create more of those situations rather than staring contests and sex questions. (I've never bonded with a woman over the kinds of talks that they have them do here.)  Plus, afterwards they'll have stuff to talk about and other couples' relationships to dissect from which they can segue to their own interpersonal stuff.

 

OK, none of that will help in the end because Ashley doesn't want a relationship with David and (probably) regrets having signed up for the show. But, at least the time will pass more pleasantly and they have a chance of developing enough of a rapport to become friends.

Edited January 27, 2016 by rab01

[seasick]

 

 

 

 

 

I'll have to address Sam the Goon in another post....

Please do.!!      I can use a break from David/Ashley for awhile

[Madding crowd]

When my husband and I went through pre wedding counseling (required for the Catholic Church), we had to do the holding hands and staring at each other thing; and we both started laughing after a few seconds and couldn't stop. We have been married for 20 years, so I guess that doesn't mean everything. I think Sam and Neil are making a tiny bit of progress which would be OK if they just started dating, but not so much for a marriage.

 

I can't figure out why Vanessa giggles so much and I'm thinking she is nervous around the cameras. Trey seems like a cool guy although I'm still not sure he wants to be a married one. 

 

Ashley should never have applied to be on this show. Vanessa is the shy type but she can function enough to be on camera and to communicate with her husband. Ashley has problems communicating, answering questions, pretty much everything. On top of that she is in the middle of finishing up a demanding year of nursing school. I would love to know why she went on the show and why in the world the experts thought she was mature enough for marriage.

 

I kept reading about Ashley having mental issues and no I think she is just a bitch. Sam on the other hand, clearly has something going on. She just doesn't seem right. And I started to wonder if Neil went on the show for some kind of hipster experiment or something. I don't really like him or his personality, but no one stays that calm. This is my first year watching this show, are the other seasons more interesting?

[sleekandchic]

I wonder how Ashley filled her days once she was finished with finals? In a previous episode she said she stopped working so she could focus all her energy on making her marriage work. David was still working though, so Ashley had lots of alone time.

Other than that ill-fated dinner David made for Ashley, have we ever seen them sitting down to dinner in their home? Or doing much of anything together? I'm blanking out on them.

Re Sam and Neil, I am convinced that their marriage was dead in the water before it even started. Once Sam saw Neil waiting at the altar, it was over. She shouldn't have gone through with it at all.

I think she agreed to the honeymoon trip, but once the couple returned to Atlanta, they started living the lie. They never really lived together in the marital home, and Sam was unable to pretend that she could tolerate Neil's existence, let alone look him in the eye. I think most everything we're seeing in these latter episodes is playacting. The THs are like alternate universe mixed in with robo-speak. "I...enjoyed...listening to....Neil......we are ....growing as....a couple." Beep...Beep...Beep. Same with Neil's stuff.

Btw, I was interested to see Sam's lunch out with her mother, and their "relationship" talk. When Mother began to give some generic advice about marriage taking time and work, boy did Sam snap and flash. "I know that!" she barked. But what was more interesting to me was how instantaneously Mother shut up. She knows not to poke that bear. My work involves at-risk families, and I see that kind of dynamic quite a bit. Better to shut down and go silent than deal with an explosive personality. Then nothing ever changes because nothing gets addressed or acknowledged. People reach their helpless/hopeless thresholds, and they remove themselves from attempting solutions.

Sam, I think, has been placated and tolerated her whole life. There's a reason they were saying on the wedding day that Neil would have his hands full with their daughter. They created that monster.

[Vinyasa]

What were the "memories" made this episode?

Neil and Sam- their knees touched, she cooked a meal after 4 weeks and they are living separately at their old houses

David and Ashley-they played kick ball and looked at wedding pictures

Tres and Vanessa-they had fun!!! (dog training, taco salad-which I thought look great and painting). Theyare the only ones that made any memories.

For the others, we remembered more than they did! Ashley's only memory is that she married a stranger.

[Lola16]

 

Yep. After trying to "ask" her politely about sixty thousand times.

And it didn't satisfy him. He's such a whiner and complainer. Nothing would ever be enough for him.

[Soup333]

Btw, I was interested to see Sam's lunch out with her mother, and their "relationship" talk. When Mother began to give some generic advice about marriage taking time and work, boy did Sam snap and flash. "I know that!" she barked. But what was more interesting to me was how instantaneously Mother shut up. She knows not to poke that bear. My work involves at-risk families, and I see that kind of dynamic quite a bit. Better to shut down and go silent than deal with an explosive personality. Then nothing ever changes because nothing gets addressed or acknowledged. People reach their helpless/hopeless thresholds, and they remove themselves from attempting solutions.

Sam, I think, has been placated and tolerated her whole life. There's a reason they were saying on the wedding day that Neil would have his hands full with their daughter. They created that monster.

 

Does anyone remember The Twilight Zone episode, "It's a Good Life," with the child Anthony who had the ability to wish people away if he felt they mistreated him? His entire family walked on eggshells around him and indulged him so he wouldn't get upset. They also did a similar story in one of the movies, but anyway, Sam is that kid. She's happy when you're pandering to her or agreeing with her, but the minute you do/say/be something that upsets her, it's fuck you and get out. 

 

I think the reason we have so little to say about Neil and Sam is because she is pretty much a lost cause. I want to believe that he's waiting for the clock to run out (like Ashley) and then will collect his money and head straight to the courthouse to file for a divorce. If he stays married to her, he's crazy. No amount of money that this show would offer is worth being tied to that hag after this experiment ends.

[sleekandchic]

This season, I think we're seeing more on-air presentation from Greg Epstein than the previous two seasons combined. For some reason, his THs remind me of Logan's -- his inflections, the way he punctuates his thoughts, bobbles his head.

I had a little hope that Greg would bring a different perspective or a touch of sanity. But he's ridiculous and useless in the MAFS context. What did he say in his TH about Ashley and David? /Oh they're having problems connecting, David is hung up on Ashley's lack of attraction toward him. I thought giving them their wedding album would really help!/ lol. He can't REALLY believe that, right? God.

I'm sure Greg is a nice and decent guy, but his participation in MAFS is a puzzle and a fail.

[Leanne]

[quote name="sleekandchic" post="1905836" timestamp="1453938645

Btw, I was interested to see Sam's lunch out with her mother, and their "relationship" talk. When Mother began to give some generic advice about marriage taking time and work, boy did Sam snap and flash. "I know that!" she barked. But what was more interesting to me was how instantaneously Mother shut up. She knows not to poke that bear. My work involves at-risk families, and I see that kind of dynamic quite a bit. Better to shut down and go silent than deal with an explosive personality. Then nothing ever changes because nothing gets addressed or acknowledged. People reach their helpless/hopeless thresholds, and they remove themselves from attempting solutions.

Sam, I think, has been placated and tolerated her whole life. There's a reason they were saying on the wedding day that Neil would have his hands full with their daughter. They created that monster.

[Leanne]

I totally think you are bang on with all this. I know a few people like this (luckily NOT my significant other) and am guilty of keeping quiet just to not be hit with their verbal shrapnel. While it's not the correct response sometimes I would rather turtle up and avoid their backlash and I am sure that's what Sams mom is doing and, like you said, I am sure it's learned behaviour and that her mom isn't the only one that does this. If Neil doesn't start standing up to Sam he will end up like the rest of the "yes" people she has in her life and ultimately he will be resentful and grow to loathe her. He can convince himself otherwise at first but it will happen. If he decides to go down that path he should probably get shoes that can withstand walking on years worth of sharp eggshells! I don't buy her redemption act on Twitter either. It's all lip service. I know these kind of people and how they operate.

Sorry was trying to quote someone above what I have written here . Looks like I didn't do it right. Still learning how.

Edited January 28, 2016 by Leanne

[ethalfrida]

It is annoying to see Ashley and Vanessa carrying around their dogs! For pete's sake, let the little tykes walk. I read once that the way we treat them like human babies we are wrecking their ability to be dogs and be happy. A vet wrote a paper on it. I agree with the poster who said they are using the pets as shields. 

 

It was like last month I came across a family walking their dogs which were not little. The larger one came over to me so I stopped and allowed it to do that. The lady simply turned and said to the dog, "you know better!". Not guiding him away but simply talking to it. I'm going what the heck is wrong with people with their pets?

[mythoughtis]

I don't like Sam's attitude, she was very immature during the intimacy exercise, and ruined it.  However, Neil needed to politely tell Sam that she ruined it, and why he felt that way, rather than pretend to agree with her that it was 'silly'.

 

I realize David got a bit snippy with Ashley - finally a natural argument.  That's how married life is,  you have misunderstandings, you raise your voice or get curt with each other.  She couldn't come up with 3 little nice things to say to David, but she said all sorts of nice things in the Talking Head interview.  Seemed pretty natural when she said  them, too.   That was ridiculus.

 

I think maybe David and Neil should switch spouses.  Sam would probably enjoy David's fun loving nature, and he might be able to 'put her in her place'.  Neil is dark which Ashley likes, low-key which she might like.   I don't know if she would like Neils sort of computer generated face though.  

[Meowwww]

Jumping in to defend the boxes!!

My favorite comfort food ever as a kid was mom's spaghetti. From a box. Kraft Spaghetti Classics Tangy Italian. http://www.amazon.com/Kraft-Spaghetti-Classics-Italian-Parmesan/dp/B000E1HVR0

It's still my go-to for comfort and reminds me of my mom and dad and being a kid. This is the spaghetti love of my life, and I am almost 50.

Also....Neil. He has all that thick black facial hair. Shown in a white tank top...NO chest hair? That just seems strange. He should be furry I think.

Edited January 28, 2016 by Meowwww

[Soup333]

Also....Neil. He has all that thick black facial hair. Shown in a white tank top...NO chest hair? That just seems strange. He should be furry I think.

 

Maybe he is furry. I knew something was up about those onesie pajamas...

 

 

 

Sorry, couldn't help it. 

[Jack Sampson]

Very random thoughts:

Sam's mom is enabling. If I was acting like her, my parents would say, "Look kid, maybe the marriage would be going better if you weren't such an asshole all the time."

Neil irritates me as much as David by not standing up for himself. Where was the roommate this week?

Ashley's still thinking only about herself. "...in that chair was the most uncomfortable moment that I've had." Me, me, me, my feelings, comfortable for me - who would want a wife like that?

So, respect and kindness were her only expectations, David is doing that - then she says, "It's not what she expected." Does she know he definition of expectations? She expected to be treated with "respect and kindness" - yet apparently finds those qualities repulsive.

She's in the house (a house that she loves so no surprise there), meets with the experts and wears her ring - and that equals "doing everything she can."

She says that, "There are attractive qualities about David's personality..." I'm guessing the fact that's he's offering to pay for everything being the biggest.

She was waiting for the clock to wind down since she first saw him.

David: I want to make you happy. I want to be the best husband in the world.

Dr. Atheist: Ashley, how does that make you feel.

Ashley: (computing possible responses) Okay.

David's face says it all - he's not sad, not mad, he's finally done. Good for him.

Tres and Vanessa - they seem boring but that's fine. Hope they stay together.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

I don't see it, personally. I am someone with a disability and until Highschool my parents sent me to a school with just other kids with disabilities so I have friends to this day with all kinds of conditions. I know people who are just not very personable who are nurses (and hell, Kate Gosselin was one before she turned having kids into a paycheck), but none of my friends with cognitive issues would make it in nursing school and they know it. Ashley wasn't as stunted with David's friends, and as David pointed out this episode, she told Dr. C more than she's told David. You can't switch cognitive issues on and off. You can, however, shut down if you find someone completely unappealing. 

 

Exactly.

To imply that Ashley's behavior is probably because of her brain tumor as an infant is actually quite insulting to people with brain injuries. 

Ashley doesn't act like that with other people, only with David.

And in my experience, very few people with brain disabilities are cruel like Ashley.

[princelina]

Ashley and Sam may have prevented David and Neil from getting a good match. Of course we will never know but I keep wondering what the runner up was like.

These "experts" are sure giving Ash and Sam more of a pass than they did Davina.

But not more of a pass than they gave Sean, who was the time-wasting poser in that marriage.

 

I think people matched with nightmares, like Davina, Jaclyn, Neil and David, should be given a date with their runners-up as a consolation prize :)