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S04.E13: The Bitch Is Back


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Well, yeah, now that she's on the show she has to work there or people will know it's BS.  I still believe she was hired via production.  If she's that shitty a hostess, Lisa is just keeping her there for the show.

 

I'm pretty sure that everyone that works there is shitty at their job, except maybe the busboys that laughed at Kristin getting fired.

 

Can we talk about Max? That kid was STONED out of his gourd. And I don't mean a little weed smoking. I mean serious drugs. He was sitting there with his sunglasses on and his mouth 1/2 open. Muppet Baby was talking to him and there was NO response. Like he didn't even hear it. I've seen people on heroin and that's actually what they look like. Then when they left for dinner--no Max. Watch the dinner---you do not see Max anywhere, not even a glimpse. Looks like he was to wasted to get up and go to dinner. I fear Max is more then a little "naughty". He's had drug problems all his life and restaurant work is notorious for drugs and alcohol. 

 

He might have been on painkillers for his busted up grill (Scheana mention he got the good stuff and don't you think about taking any Shay).  It would be stupid to be on painkillers and drink, but it was also stupid for him to go on the trip in his condition.

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I thought for sure that when Schwartz picked up the phone to call the bail bondsman, they were setting up a Dog the Bounty Hunter crossover special. Oh, well, I'm presuming Jax will just not show up in court (because traveling back to Hawaii isn't cheap) and then maybe Dog will be on the hunt. But I suppose as long as they can film it a la Teresa Gudice coming and going from court, Bravo will spring for it.

 

Well, let's hope Bravo remains too cheap to send them to another country. He's not going anywhere after skipping court dates on pending felony charges. I don't understand Jax at all.

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I don't think Scheana wants Shay sober. She wants him buzzed enough so he doesn't ruin her good time. That poor dude looks miserable 24/7. 

I LOVED the look Tom gave the cameras when they walked away. Classic. 

I'm giving that marriage two years. And that's only because of the show. Every expression on Shay's face tells me he knows he made a huge mistake. 

 

And I love Sandoval and Schwartz. Would I ever want them for a boyfriend? Hell, No. But they do make for great TV. 

 

If this crowd wants to continue to party hard, they need to start hitting the gym. With the exception of Lala and Ariana, they are all looking a little soft and out of shape. It doesn't get any easier the older you get!

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Katie has definitely put on weight. She didn't look too enviable in her swimming suit. And she's such a sanctimonious bitch that I don't feel bad saying it. She's clearly incredibly jealous of Lala. It was all fun and games skinny dipping for Stassi's birthday but Lala topless or in a thong is super scandalous...ok...

Edited by Rebecca
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Wow really? Do you live in LA or maybe New York? I lived in the DC area for 15 years and never knew anybody who got botox until they hit their 40s.  And even then it's just a small handful of people. Interesting though.

 

Yeah... 6 weeks, 6 months, I have no clue how often it's injected, as I've never gotten it. (not ruling it out once I hit 40 though!).  My point is that I don't think Botox can counteract the physical effects of a hard-living lifestyle, even if you're starting in your early 30s or late 20s or whatevs. If I were Kristen I'd cut out the cigs and the heavy booze to get her $$$ worth.

 

You make a good point about Kristen.  Look, she's ALWAYS been a haggard-looking young woman, ever since the show first started.  We know why.  She's Cigarette Sally.  She smokes like a chimney & drinks like a fish.  And that ain't a beauty treatment.  Hey, she could botox to oblivion.  It may erase her lines, but it ain't gonna take off that generally haggard look she has.  And she's looking much more haggard now than when the show first started.  

 

Ah, there is the hopeful myth that botox is a miracle-worker.  It isn't.  It has limitations.  There are certain wrinkle lines botox will not help with.  Not all doctors who do it provide the same results.  And not everyone responds the same to it.  And its effectiveness can diminish with age.  And it doesn't help at all with sagging & under-eye bags or darkness under the eyes -- all probs Kristen is certain to face with her excessive smoking, boozing & partying.  She's gettin' all of that already, even at her still young age.

 

I can confirm I know a ton of women of various ages here in NYC who regularly botox.  The strange thing to me is how so many seem so casual about discussing something I would assume to be a private issue.  Is botoxing more prevalent in certain areas?  Maybe.  I figured it might be more popular with professional women, as the poster earlier said.  It's not necessarily the case here in NYC.  Is everyone in LA doing it?  Well, it makes sense (to me) for Kristen to botox if she's gonna be on cam.

 

Makes me wonder if botox is the reason why Jax's mug has been looking so bloated & swollen (and totally line free) lately.

 

Can we talk about Max? That kid was STONED out of his gourd. And I don't mean a little weed smoking. I mean serious drugs. He was sitting there with his sunglasses on and his mouth 1/2 open. Muppet Baby was talking to him and there was NO response. Like he didn't even hear it. I've seen people on heroin and that's actually what they look like. Then when they left for dinner--no Max. Watch the dinner---you do not see Max anywhere, not even a glimpse. Looks like he was to wasted to get up and go to dinner. I fear Max is more then a little "naughty". He's had drug problems all his life and restaurant work is notorious for drugs and alcohol. 

 

I winced at Pump's dig at Max.  Hated it, actually.  Pandy is her angel & adopted Max is her burden, eh?  Something is up with Max, but we're not getting exactly what it is -- at least not from the way he acts on cam, which seems very, very, very guarded & mostly quiet as a mouse.  But LVP produces this show, so anything Max may have done on cam which might make him look bad/awkward, she could easily order to be edited out.

Edited by ScoobieDoobs
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In addition to the smoking and drinking, Kristen always looks haggard because she must not get a lot of sleep, staying up all night stalking Instagram for her ex's side pieces.

Lisa's comment comparing Pandora and Max was awkward and uncomfortable. Da fuq?

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I winced at Pump's dig at Max.  Hated it, actually.  Pandy is her angel & adopted Max is her burden, eh?  Something is up with Max, but we're not getting exactly what it is -- at least not from the way he acts on cam, which seems very, very, very guarded & mostly quiet as a mouse.  But LVP produces this show, so anything Max may have done on cam which might make him look bad/awkward, she could easily order to be edited out.

Possibly a narcissitic mother/golden child/scapegoat dynamic - but, for Max's sake, I hope not.

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JenE4, on 27 Jan 2016 - 08:39 AM, said:JenE4, on 27 Jan 2016 - 08:39 AM, said:

I thought for sure that when Schwartz picked up the phone to call the bail bondsman, they were setting up a Dog the Bounty Hunter crossover special. Oh, well, I'm presuming Jax will just not show up in court (because traveling back to Hawaii isn't cheap) and then maybe Dog will be on the hunt. But I suppose as long as they can film it a la Teresa Gudice coming and going from court, Bravo will spring for it.

 

I'd imagine Dog, Beth & Jax would be snorting ICE (whatever the fuck that is) together after the bailout, because ,,, lowlifes!

 

And, yes, I'm am going to give Max a conditional pass on painkillers & booze for a dental emergency. Not condoning, but understanding the need for any and all distractions from that particularly horrific pain.  Only because I recall a hellish weekend of a fully blown root canal that had me rocking in the garage crying for my Mommy (I'd NEVER called her that), popping every pain pill known to mankind & washing them down with vodka (yes, I actually kept a drug diary for the paramedics I was convinced would appear upon my overdose, which never happened but should have put an elephant down), praying to a god I didn't believe in, and finally begging my BF to shoot me in the head to stop the fucking pain.  True story.  Not my finest hours, but it can happen.  :~)

 

 

ETA - and in retrospect, I would've wanted to stay in the loving comfort of Lisa and Ken's embrace until the blessed knockout drugs were delivered, rather than enduring "Hawaii" (and I use that term loosely, since I actually lived there for a brief while) with a bunch of chucklefucks.

Edited by walnutqueen
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Makes me wonder if botox is the reason why Jax's mug has been looking so bloated & swollen (and totally line free) lately.

Botox won't leave you swollen and bloated. Restalyne (fillers) will! I still think Jax's bloated self is due to roids. 

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If this crowd wants to continue to party hard, they need to start hitting the gym. With the exception of Lala and Ariana, they are all looking a little soft and out of shape. It doesn't get any easier the older you get!

This reminded me of the episode when Schwartzie went to a photo shoot and he was a bit pudgie so they needed to paint on some abs.  He doesn't have a job, he should be at the gym every day!  Sorry, but he has no excuse to have a "dad bod" considering his face/body is his livelihood; he gets paid to look good.  As for the rest of them, I couldn't care less.  Seems like they party hard and then come home and eat eat eat.  

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Maybe it is because I care very little, but I feel like Ariana and FI Tom are making way more out of these text messages than need be. Maybe Ariana should talk to her mom about why her mother sent a text to Scheana in the first place. In a way I have to give Scheana minor props for sticking by what she said, though I think she has it backwards I think the smug, dour Ariana is rubbing off on Tom.

So now Scheana is concerned with Shay's drinking, because she wants to talk to him? Okay Scheana. I think Scheana needs to get her priorities straight regarding Shay and his drinking. I also, think Shay needs to take some responsibility with the drinking as well.

So James not being able to perform with Lala was prior to Hawaii? I am not that surprised with how much they drink. Lala wanting to cry to her mother on the phone because people do not believe her, didn't she do that when she was suppose to be going to Italy for "modeling"?

I thought Stassi and Kristen were so boring.

So the sunglasses Jax had on while surfing were not the pair he stole? Keep being an idiot Jax. I could not stop laughing at Jax dabbing at his faux tears in his TH.

Actually I think Scheana has her priorities straight. They are, in no particular order, Scheana, Scheana and, of course, Scheana. The only reason bitch is upset that her addict husband is wasted is that it means he won't be able to listen to her prattle on about SCHEANA. Boy, Eddie really does like crazy Edited by chlban
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I had a hunch someone would say this, but my impression is different.  I see Schwartz as commenting/observing on the lack of sex & in his usual way, making light of it.  But is he really so bothered by it?  I'm not seeing it.  My theory is they might be well-matched in their non-interest in sex.  At this point, Schwartz knows exactly what he's getting with Katie.  If their interest in sex was significantly mismatched, would this relationship have proceeded to the engagement?  Doesn't make sense to me, but who knows?  

 

So why is Schwartz commenting on the non-sex?  Maybe cuz he knows people around him know about it (and of course viewers too) & might think it's strange/weird, so he's making light of it before others do?

 

Just from watching him whine about it and still stay completely prone in the last scene that he'd brought it up made me think he doesn't really care. If this is a real relationship, they're either two submissives waiting for the other to make the first move, or the chemistry is really off. Or somebody's on meds that fuck with their sex drive. I dunno. Tom seems like a cartoon figure most of the time, and not a hentai one either.

 

This reminded me of the episode when Schwartzie went to a photo shoot gand he was a bit pudgie so they needed to paint on some abs.  He doesn't have a job, he should be at the gym every day!  Sorry, but he has no excuse to have a "dad bod" considering his face/body is his livelihood; he gets paid to look good.  As for the rest of them, I couldn't care less.  Seems like they party hard and then come home and eat eat eat.

I was thinking of this and then remembered Tyra's "I paid my dues!" minirant on ANTM, in reference to how she can eat what she wants and still do photo shoots and they'll doctor up the results because of her years of fabulousness. I don't remember what cycle that was, but it was directed at one of the women putting on visible weight after indiscriminate eating.

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I winced at Pump's dig at Max.  Hated it, actually.  Pandy is her angel & adopted Max is her burden, eh?

 

I winced as well. She literally said Pandora was "a dream" and Max "was naughty". It's not the first time she's compared them like that. I understand Max has had his issues, but comparing kids is never a good thing, and kids will fulfill the labels you give them. Max was adopted, so it's likely he already struggles with insecurities about not being good enough. I just feel awful for him when Lisa talks like that. 

 

imo Shay had it right when he left his clueless wife early on in their marriage - too bad he went back. The guy is a mess and needs treatment sans the enabling manipulator he married.

 

I think he is really, really insecure and thinks he could never get any better than Scheana. He does whatever she wants. I KNOW he loves Sandoval and does not agree, not deep down, with what Scheana is saying about him. But he is afraid to stand up to her. I agree, he really does need some solo therapy. 

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Can we talk about Max? That kid was STONED out of his gourd. And I don't mean a little weed smoking. I mean serious drugs. He was sitting there with his sunglasses on and his mouth 1/2 open. Muppet Baby was talking to him and there was NO response. Like he didn't even hear it. I've seen people on heroin and that's actually what they look like. Then when they left for dinner--no Max. Watch the dinner---you do not see Max anywhere, not even a glimpse. Looks like he was to wasted to get up and go to dinner. I fear Max is more then a little "naughty". He's had drug problems all his life and restaurant work is notorious for drugs and alcohol.

I assumed Max was high from his pain killers and booze, but didn't DJ Muppet Baby look a bit stoned as well?

  

Botox won't leave you swollen and bloated. Restalyne (fillers) will! I still think Jax's bloated self is due to roids.

we know he does steroids, or at least was using them when he had to get breast reduction surgery.
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Yes, Bogo, when Jax was having his fake cancer scare Stassi dumped all of his "supplements". Schadenfreude by Stassi! 

 

Also, did anyone notice when Stassi and Kristen were talking and Stassi said she never thought she'd be feuding with Katie when Tom proposed to her, and Kristen paused with her hair in her face and then slurred out "Shhhhhaaaad." 

Edited by The Mighty Peanut
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I was reminded of The Hills when Lo & Lauren were in Vegas trying to bail Brody & Frankie out of jail and they're looking in the phone book for "a bond store..."

 

"is it really called a *store*?"

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Here in the Midwest I don't know a single person who has gotten Botox, at any age. I live near a large city/metro area.

When Scheana was telling Lala that "these people" aka the cast, have made her cry and were mean to her when she was the new girl too I couldn't help but think, so now you're trying to be the most awful? I felt like Lala was thinking wtf too since Scheana has probably treated her the worst of all of them. So if Scheana knew what it was like to be the outcast why the hell would she jump at the chance to be a huge bitch to the next "new girl"? Scheana is one of the most self absorbed people I've ever seen..she just keeps showing it over and over. I think she's jealous that Lala is the "hot one" now; they all are.

 

I am in the Midwest (Chicago), in my 30's and EVERYONE I know has gotten it. 

 

Yeah what was Scheana trying to say?  That she was the lowly target and now she is the Queen Bee?  No, Scheana, no matter how bad you want it, you will never be that girl.

 

She's too much of a spaz.  Especially when she dances.

Can we talk about Max? That kid was STONED out of his gourd. And I don't mean a little weed smoking. I mean serious drugs. He was sitting there with his sunglasses on and his mouth 1/2 open. Muppet Baby was talking to him and there was NO response. Like he didn't even hear it. I've seen people on heroin and that's actually what they look like. Then when they left for dinner--no Max. Watch the dinner---you do not see Max anywhere, not even a glimpse. Looks like he was to wasted to get up and go to dinner. I fear Max is more then a little "naughty". He's had drug problems all his life and restaurant work is notorious for drugs and alcohol. 

 

I agree, he was on some opiate or another.  My guess is that he was on SUPER heavy duty narcotic painkillers, due to his "passing out" and busting his teeth. 

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I winced as well. She literally said Pandora was "a dream" and Max "was naughty". It's not the first time she's compared them like that. I understand Max has had his issues, but comparing kids is never a good thing, and kids will fulfill the labels you give them. Max was adopted, so it's likely he already struggles with insecurities about not being good enough. I just feel awful for him when Lisa talks like that. 

 

You know, I really feel for Max.  I get the impression there's a lot going on with him that isn't good.  We haven't heard him speak much, but he seems like a very sweet guy.  To the rest of us poor slobs, who didn't grow up having zillionaire parents, it would seem like his life is an enviable one.  I know otherwise.  I grew up knowing lots of "Maxes" -- sons of rich people, who just can't adjust to their situation (as sons of rich people) & end up having tragic lives.  I hope that isn't the case for Max, but Lisa isn't helping Max at all by calling him "naughty".  Sure, she could have probably said far worse than "naughty", but she shouldn't have even said that or compared him unfavorably to the sainted Pandy.  Doesn't do much for Max's ego & well-being, does it?  

 

And I don't see Pandy as being so saintly.  She just follows Pump's orders.  Pandy never impressed me at all.  Her hot husb OTOH, they need to bring back every ep, but silently.  When he speaks, no likey.

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Why have Ken and Lisa encouraged Max to be in this position?  Why put him in amongst this crowd of people, knowing his past problems with substance abuse?  Couldn't they put him in an entry level position that isn't among a bunch of partying drunks?  Like, some sort of office work or working with distributers or something?  I understand the principle of "working your way up", but there's got to be a less risky way of doing that.

 

Also, I wonder what Lisa "I'm an open book!" VP would say if someone started asking her questions about Max's history and future.

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Wow really? Do you live in LA or maybe New York? I lived in the DC area for 15 years and never knew anybody who got botox until they hit their 40s. And even then it's just a small handful of people. Interesting though.

Yeah... 6 weeks, 6 months, I have no clue how often it's injected, as I've never gotten it. (not ruling it out once I hit 40 though!). My point is that I don't think Botox can counteract the physical effects of a hard-living lifestyle, even if you're starting in your early 30s or late 20s or whatevs. If I were Kristen I'd cut out the cigs and the heavy booze to get her $$$ worth.

Chicago. My guess is you know a lot more people with a little light Botox than you think you do. They just get it done right so you don't know :-). When your friend suddenly shows up looking SO fresh or well-rested that you want to ask her if she is using a new makeup or got a new type of facial it's probably actually Botox. Most people don't volunteer that info though so if you are not obnoxious like me you probably would not know. I am just nosey and forget that it's probably rude to ask my very good friends if they have had Botox when they show up looking so renewed, so I always blurt the question out. The answer has always been yes!

But I fully agree with the rest of your statement. These gals would do themselves a favor by quitting the cigs, cutting back on the booze (drugs?), getting more sleep, etc. Those things would certainly help with their rough edges. But then they probably would be back to actually waitressing again because Bravo won't want to film responsible adults adulting.

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Why have Ken and Lisa encouraged Max to be in this position?  Why put him in amongst this crowd of people, knowing his past problems with substance abuse?  Couldn't they put him in an entry level position that isn't among a bunch of partying drunks?  Like, some sort of office work or working with distributers or something?  I understand the principle of "working your way up", but there's got to be a less risky way of doing that.

 

Also, I wonder what Lisa "I'm an open book!" VP would say if someone started asking her questions about Max's history and future.

Mind reader! I was thinking the same thing. 

 

And it's not just letting him work in that restaurant. It's letting him be part of this show, which Lisa is an EP on, so she could pull him right away. I mean, the moment your child is so wasted/high that he basically destroys his mouth, you think the parents would be like, "Absolutely not going to Hawaii and you're no longer part of this show." But I guess since Max is "naughty" Lisa has given up/doesn't care (never did?). 

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And it's not just letting him work in that restaurant. It's letting him be part of this show, which Lisa is an EP on, so she could pull him right away. I mean, the moment your child is so wasted/high that he basically destroys his mouth, you think the parents would be like, "Absolutely not going to Hawaii and you're no longer part of this show." But I guess since Max is "naughty" Lisa has given up/doesn't care (never did?). 

I suspect business tycoon Lisa Vanderbucks is more interested in promoting her show than Max's welfare.

 

I finally caught the ending of this ep and had to laugh at Kristen and StASSi  bonding over stalking people online, including Kristen's new bf who I'd claim was Jax wearing a clever disguise if he weren't in HI at the time.

 

Yeah, I feel REALLY sorry for Shay after seeing Sheena whine about how he was too drunk to listen to her. Geez, Louise!

 

ETA: Corrected abbreviation.

Edited by Ubiquitous
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It sure looks as if he's trying to scope out where the cameras are several times in this video. Jax is such a loser.

I thought the same thing when I watched the video.  He is not looking at the glasses but for cameras and the way he does it, it was so obvious

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Here in the Midwest I don't know a single person who has gotten Botox, at any age. I live near a large city/metro area.

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I am in the Midwest (Chicago), in my 30's and EVERYONE I know has gotten it.

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Word. I know a lot of people who started getting it in their late 20's and am in Chicago also : ) I haven't tried it my boss recently asked me if I could legally buy alcohol and a customer told me I should consider going to college missy in a snotty ass way so I guess I look younger than my age but everyone says that about themselves like thinking they are people persons too or intuitive souls. I don't think Jaxs face is a result of Botox gone bad like Scoobydoobs but bad genes and drugs. He looks and acts like a raging coke head if I ever saw one.

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You know, I really feel for Max.  I get the impression there's a lot going on with him that isn't good.  We haven't heard him speak much, but he seems like a very sweet guy.  To the rest of us poor slobs, who didn't grow up having zillionaire parents, it would seem like his life is an enviable one.  I know otherwise.  I grew up knowing lots of "Maxes" -- sons of rich people, who just can't adjust to their situation (as sons of rich people) & end up having tragic lives.  I hope that isn't the case for Max, but Lisa isn't helping Max at all by calling him "naughty".  Sure, she could have probably said far worse than "naughty", but she shouldn't have even said that or compared him unfavorably to the sainted Pandy.  Doesn't do much for Max's ego & well-being, does it?  

 

And I don't see Pandy as being so saintly.  She just follows Pump's orders.  Pandy never impressed me at all.  Her hot husb OTOH, they need to bring back every ep, but silently.  When he speaks, no likey.

Add to that the fact that Max is adopted. The "Golden Child, Pandy" is pretty, educated and happily married. Poor Max

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What? Why does that not count as a sex tape? 

At the risk of performing Clintonesque parsing, I don't think a sex tape is a "solo venture".

 

Not that this show or its stars always makes sense, but perhaps checkout was noon and they had to get out... Then wait around?

One of the few things that caught my attention in the ep after this was Flat-Iron Tom (and some others?) grousing about having to cancel some of the activities they had planned in order to arrange for Jax's bail, etc.

 

Exactly.  In other words, she wants him not to be an addict.  And in her delusional, narcissistic pea-brain, that means he should do exactly what she wants. Addiction demons be damned!

 

And he really does look unhappy, both sober and drunk.  I wonder if he's regretting the situation he's gotten himself into with her. 

Save "Silent Shay"!

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At the risk of performing Clintonesque parsing, I don't think a sex tape is a "solo venture".

 

Agree to disagree; she was performing a common sex act on "tape," so, "sex tape." (Man, "tape" sounds so old-fashioned now that I type it out.)

 

One of the few things that caught my attention in the ep after this was Flat-Iron Tom (and some others?) grousing about having to cancel some of the activities they had planned in order to arrange for Jax's bail, etc.

 

Wait--am I nuts? I thought there was footage of some activity when he was saying that. Maybe I am confused; I'd had a drink...because "this one's for you tooooooniiiiiight!"

Edited by TattleTeeny
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Wait--am I nuts? I thought there was footage of some activity when he was saying that. Maybe I am confused; I'd had a drink...because "this one's for you tooooooniiiiiight!"

I thought those were the activities they were able to perform prior to Jax's legal "one phone call".

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Ok, did I just hear Scheana (on a repeat) say she didn't like how Shay was so drunk, but he just needed to have a few drinks here and there so he could be slightly buzzed?  If he's got an addiction problem, drugs or alcohol (or combination), he can't just drink to get a buzz.  That is the problem, you nitwit.  People with addictive personalities cannot stop like most people, they keep going and going.

 

I'm sure Scheana thinks that if Shay doesn't drink at all he won't be any fun, he'll just be some boring guy.  All this group seems to do is drink and fight.  They don't do a thing without alcohol being involved that I can remember.  Even when they "work" they're sneaking drinks.

 

As to whether or not Scheana knew if Eddie was married, I would say yes, and she didn't care.  If you met someone who was "famous", especially if you are in the business or want to be (she wants to be a singer, right??), you'd be googling that person's name as soon as you were able to do so.  Even this nitwit can google (assuming she can).  She'd hit something saying he was married.  She didn't care and just thought it would be her stepping stone.  In a way it was - got her on this show since Brandi was on RHOBH.

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I half-watched the parts I missed the first time. Why does LaLa keep acting so fickle with DJ Muppet Baby? Is that really appropriate behavior for a photoshoot? I'm tired of Schena wanting Shay to get only slightly drunk when they go out.

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