S03.E06: Meet The In-Laws

[ralph]

I see people talking about it and I definitely agree, David' "outburst" was clearly edited to make it look more sudden than it actually was. What we see is Ashley asking one time "what's wrong?" and he flies off the handle, but what I really think was he had woken up grumpy and she probably asked him what's wrong over and over gain, with him either giving no response or vague ones, until he finally snapped.

 

Sam needs to drop her on camera Neil/off camera Neil crap because it's completely natural. So what, he doesn't curse or behave a certain way when camera air recording him...like I said last week, this is just clearly something she can't understand seeing as how she behaves like a raging psychopath on camera, so I can only assume she's just the same or even worse off camera.

 

 

But anyway, at some point I really wish the "experts" would step in and make it REQUIRED homework that they show affection or intimacy in some way.  I've seen a number of marriage counselors that advise married couples who are in a "sexless" marriage (for example) that the #1 assignment they suggest is asking the couple to be intimate even when they really don't want to be. I don't think they need to have sex, but I think holding hands, hugging and kissing would really put Ashley and Sams guards down so they'd be more open to at least giving this experiment a real shot. 

 

I agree. Little assignments like "talk a walk together while holding hands" or "stare into each others' eyes for a full minute uninterrupted" would go along way

[Tara Ariano]

In case you missed it, here's the Previously.TV post on the episode!

 

Married At First Sight Opens A Bag Of 'Cool Neil' Doritos
The Married At First Sight couples continue to flounder, this week celebrating a joyless Father's Day together. Who did the worst?

[humbleopinion]

If Sam says she identifies with Anastasia Steel, you heard it here first, ladies and gents.

Check it out.

I called the 50 Shades connection in the 2nd episode of this train wreck season.

Excuse me while I run a victory lap around  Starbucks.

 

Neil, buddy, think of the dirty condo if you should feel a husbandly need arise.

Reminiscent of the Friends episode where Ross dates the model who lives in the filthy, trashed apartment.

It was so bad he couldn't seal the deal.

Last scene was Monica getting caught breaking into the model's apartment and cleaning.

 

 

I totally called it on Tres visiting one of ATL's famed gentleman's clubs on his night out with his Dad.

No film of their night out because that type of establishments are camera free zones.

Edited January 6, 2016 by humbleopinion

[Booger666]

I think David was just frustrated because he's married to a robot.

OMG, I am laughing so hard. Do you remember a show from the '80s called Small Wonder? It was about a little girl robot with long dark hair . . . who looked just like Ashley. Ashley is Small Wonder all grown up!!!!

[henrysmom]

 

what I really think was he had woken up grumpy and she probably asked him what's wrong over and over gain, with him either giving no response or vague ones, until he finally snapped.

 

I think that is giving Ashley too much credit.  I don't think she cares enough to ask him that many times.  

 

I just finished watching this episode and this couple fascinates me.  I think all three marriages are doomed, but this one is particularly compelling in its doomed quality.  Every time I see Ashley I think what on earth were you thinking?  Whatever compelled you to think this would be a good show for you to go on?

 

She's so introverted she makes me (a massive introvert) look like a warm bubbly person.  I can't imagine ever going on a reality show, let alone a dating/marriage one.  Tack onto that that she's just out of a long term relationship and really should just be dating casually for awhile to see what is out there and you have a real recipe for disaster.

 

Add to that the fact that she's in a nursing program, one of the hardest degrees to finish.  I worked at a nursing college for a few years and I know how stressful the program is.  We told students coming in to make sure they have their support system ready because they are going to need it, and to forget about your personal life because all that was on hold until you were out of the program.  Even if her college doesn't give that sort of heads up, she had to know that signing up for a reality show in the middle of school is just not a good idea.  I just don't get her.

 

And David.  Oh, poor David.  When he said that if he had a friend facing his situation he'd tell the friend the girl just wasn't in to him and to cut and run all I could think was listen to yourself David.  She is just not into you.  Stop trying because she never even started trying.  She took one look at you at the altar and shut down.  It was over before it started. Maybe there are some women watching who find you attractive and will track you down after this marriage ends in its inevitable divorce.

 

As to the other couples, I liked Sam marginally better this week.  I can't say I like her but at least she seems to be willing to give the marriage a shot.  Neil...I think Neil just wants to be married.  Anybody would do.

 

Vanessa and Tres.  Well, I don't think they are going to make it either because Vanessa is really going to be looking out for issues with Tres.  And when you start looking for issues in a relationship, you find them.

[qtpye]

Does anyone else think that if all three of these couples fail the show is doomed? 

[Kareem]

Does anyone else think that if all three of these couples fail the show is doomed?

Yes. That's why I want Vanessa and Tres to survive at least a month post-Decision Day. I want a bunch of easy-going, friendly women to pursue single David and for single Neil to be up to his beard in a bunch of his types. Single Ashley could be the Librarian version of Mary in "It's A Wonderful Life" and single Sam can be sent back to the planet she came from.

[seacliffsal]

I know that the producers think that drama equals ratings, BUT they have got to consider that there has to be some success in terms of these relationships to keep people coming back for future seasons. I just couldn't believe it when Dr. C stated that one reason they paired David with Ashley was for him to break through her walls. That is a huge NO. It is not up to anybody to 'fix' any of us. It's our responsibility to change what needs to be changed and people are capable of hiring professionals (obviously not these) to help them overcome issues and problems. Just like Sam thinks Neil should set limits for her. No-you set limits for yourself and you are responsible for your reprehensible behaviors-not Neil. I agree with others that Vanessa seems to be looking for 'proof' that Tres has 'wrong' motives. I've known people like that who over analyze every word and action to prove that they were right about the other person's 'issues'.

If I was on a show like this (which, never...) I, too, would be trying to present my best self on camera. There are future employers, friends, lovers out there who will probably see whatever is out there. I can't see men lining up to date Sam or Ashley after this because they are both just too much work.

[bichonblitz]

Really if Sam found a man that "put her in her place" I doubt she would be happy. Hag doesn't know what she wants. No clue what so ever. I don't know why Neil is attracted to her at all, if he actually is. She walks with her shoulders all hunched over and needs to run a brush through her hair once in a while. Does she even look in the mirror?

 

David is horny. He needs to get laid. Maybe that would calm him down. Don't think Ashley is the one to do it for him, though. Can you even imagine what that woman is like in bed? OMG.  I can see her telling him to hurry up, she has a test to study for. 

 

Vanessa didn't stay home waiting for Trey. She also went out with her sister and someone else. She needs to give this one time of drunkeness a pass and see how soon he does it again. It won't take long to know if there is a pattern with him. She will make a great wife, though. If not with Trey, someone else. She likes to cook, to entertain, doesn't have a problem having people over. Unlike  Ashley. She's only 26 and is the most mature of the three women. 

Edited January 6, 2016 by bichonblitz

[Matty]

Neil isn't gay or a virgin. I work at a major research university and every other guy on this campus is a "Neil." Smart, quirky, bit of a nerd, socially awkward. These types actually do pretty well in this setting and are quite successful. Neil is polite and respectful. These aren't bad qualities to have in life. He treats women as equal partners. He said he speaks differently to his grandmother than he does to his guy friends as an example of why he speaks differently on camera than privately or something to that effect. I'm paraphrasing. He doesn't want to act like a complete idiot on camera and say or do something he'll regret later. Sam is so fake. She's acting for the cameras too whether she wants to admit it or not. She's trying to get a rise out of Neil and when it doesn't work she becomes a pouting brat. Looking back on it, Sam is going to regret the image she's portrayed on this show and will probably do a lot of backtracking or blame it on the editing. At the end of the six weeks, if Neil decides to get a divorce, Sam is going to be very upset that she came off as such a bratty, whiny little witch.

 

Ashley is physically repulsed by David. It's painful to watch.

 

So, Tres went out drinking with his father and uncle on Father's Day. It's not the end of the world, Vanessa.

Edited January 6, 2016 by Matty

[moonxyz]

 

I totally called it on Tres visiting one of ATL's famed gentleman's clubs on his night out with his Dad.

No film of their night out because that type of establishments are camera free zones.

 

Wow. How do you know this? if this true, I would have asked for a divorce immediately. 

[humbleopinion]

If the group went to an ATL restaurant, bar the MAFS producers would have gotten permission to film.

The local drinking/eating establishment would love the free TV publicity.

So thinking they were in a place where cameras aren't welcome.

Edited January 6, 2016 by humbleopinion

[okerry]

So.  Sam is still a bitch.  

 

Ashley couldn't be more physically repulsed by David if he had leprosy.  

 

Tres isn't going to stop hitting the club, Vanessa.

Ha! That's the whole episode, right there!

[moonxyz]

If the group went to an ATL restaurant, bar the MAFS producers would have gotten permission to film.

The local drinking/eating establishment would love the free TV publicity.

So thinking they were in a place where cameras aren't welcome.

 

This is making a lot of sense. Vanessa also said on Twitter that there was more to the Tres getting drunk story but she didn't want to rehash it now that they have moved on. The stripper story could be it. It could also explain how he can spend $200-$300 a night "partying". Interesting. 

[Crazy Bird Lady]

I'm afraid the truth is that Ashley got into MAFS because she wanted a hubby to pay the bills while she's in nursing school.

And so far, it looks like that has been pretty successful... even if the marriage isn't.

 

By the way, does anybody know how much they pay these participants to be on the show? Would that pay for a big chunk of nursing school too?

[moonxyz]

I'm afraid the truth is that Ashley got into MAFS because she wanted a hubby to pay the bills while she's in nursing school.

And so far, it looks like that has been pretty successful... even if the marriage isn't.

 

By the way, does anybody know how much they pay these participants to be on the show? Would that pay for a big chunk of nursing school too?

 

Rumor has it that it's $50 000 upfront and an extra $50 000 if they decide to stay married. However, no one has been able to verify this info. 

[Crazy Bird Lady]

Ashley doesn't have the compassion to be a good nurse.

In fact, if I ever saw Ashley coming at me with a needle, I'd do my best to run the other way!!

Edited January 6, 2016 by Crazy Bird Lady

[Vinyasa]

Oh and the whole OFF CAMERA neil vs ON CAMERA -- what is wrong with putting on your best face for the camera? I sure as hell would.

But on a deeper level, I don't get WHY that would bother her. She says she likes the off camera neil better.. doesn't she realize THAT is who she would be married to? The damn cameras won't be there after the 6 weeks are up, and damn sure won't be there throughout a marriage. So who cares if he is more PC and doesn't curse on camera (that was the difference SHE said)??

 

What is PC?

 

I had no idea what she was talking about and don't have energy to watch it again.

[ciaoformeow]

What is PC?

 

I had no idea what she was talking about and don't have energy to watch it again.

 

I feel you! It means politically correct. 

[Soup333]

 

As far as David's outburst goes, it seemed to be heavily edited and could have been shown out of context to what was really going on.  Not saying he doesn't need to tame that Daddy issue, but it looked to me like they were trying to make Ashley look better than she really was in that situation.  She supposedly showed him so much warmth?  Interesting that it took place off camera and I really didn't buy it that she was all that empathetic.

 

I imagine that he was sitting on the toilet practically begging her to physically comfort him in some way and she was standing with her back leaning against the door, as far away from him as she could possibly get.

 

Yes to all of this.  Sam doesn't know what she's talking about.  A man who wants to cook and clean is a gem IMO.  I didn't like Neil at first, but when he said 50/50, I was like, he's okay by me, even if he does look like a hipster from Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

 

I don't think she really wants a dominant man. She thinks she does because she wants Neil to be more like her father. But she doesn't really want that. She's way to controlling to put up with that. What if Dominant Dude only saved 50% of his income? What would her response be?

 

David - Get...over...it.  Ashley is NOT into you at all and if you want to try to make it work out by some miracle, constantly asking 'what are you thinking?' isn't going to work.  Also, and I apologize if I offend anyone here, but your dad died 25 years ago.  If you freak out and cannot handle certain days like father's day after this long of a period of time, maybe you should seek some therapy (and trust me, I do not mean this sarcastically or in a condescending manner).  I know that everyone deals with grief differently, but I lost my mother whom I was extremely close with 15 years ago, and I did my share of crying about it and I can negotiate mothers day, her birthday her anniversary death without freaking out.

 

I think Ashley was bored out of her mind watching those home videos and she probably would have said so if David's mother hadn't been there. 

 

Also, did anyone else feel uncomfortable with the scene where Vanessa was sitting on her bed, with Tres’ dad standing over her ? It really creeped me out.

 

I was weirded out and I couldn't figure out why. I don't understand why that conversation was taking place in a bedroom and why he was standing over her like that. Strange.

[Vinyasa]

Does anyone else think that if all three of these couples fail the show is doomed?

 

Nope, look how long The Bachelor has been on with all those failures!

 

I feel you! It means politically correct.

 

Ah, thank you. I've never heard it referred to with letters.

[JennyMominFL]

Pardon my French but the experts are so fucking irresponsible and unethical;

 

How could they match Sam & Neil, when both have strong yet opposite views on gender roles in a marriage? How come their extensive bullshit testing didn’t reveal that? By the way, I know you guys love Neil but he still comes across as an asexual virgin to me.'

   

The goal of this show is not to create marriages. It's to create ratings. The matchmakers skills are being used to put together couples that cause drama. I absolutely believe that they "match" one or two couples each year, that will create drama and ratings.  And you are right,Yes, it's unethical, but I believe they are doing exactly what they were hired to do.

Edited January 7, 2016 by JennyMominFL

[biakbiak]

It seemed that Dr. Pepper was surprised about Sam's views on gender roles in relationship so I wonder what she said in the casting process.

[sleekandchic]

Everyone in here is astute. I find that even if I don't agree 100% with a post, I usually nod through 75% of each one. :)

Re Sam the Sham the Feral Foney: Careful what you wish for, babe! She says she wants Neil to put her in her place. No, you do NOT want that. Asshole. You just want an excuse to bolt. The second Neil says, shut up, eff off, go watch tv, is the second Sammy cries foul and makes her sobbing exit forever. Just shut up Sam.

My home-base is a university-affiliated, big city hospital, and my fieldwork environment is a section of that city that's alive 24/7. I see "Neils" morning, noon and night. They are not extinct dodos or exotic Saturnians. They are everyday guys. Like everybody else, they are individuals with unique and interesting personalities. Sam is a jerky, foolish, silly woman, imo. She never gave Neil an iota of a chance or a glimmer of hope.

I can understand not feeling an immediate chemistry, but since she signed up for a show like this, I think Sam should have put a little effort into getting to know Neil.

Edited January 7, 2016 by sleekandchic

[SLJ22]

The goal of this show is not to create marriages. It's to create ratings. The matchmakers skills are being used to put together couples that cause drama. I absolutely believe that they "match" one or two couples each year, that will create drama and ratings.  And you are right,Yes, it's unethical, but I believe they are doing exactly what they were hired to do.

The goal of this show is not to create marriages. It's to create ratings. The matchmakers skills are being used to put together couples that cause drama. I absolutely believe that they "match" one or two couples each year, that will create drama and ratings.  And you are right,Yes, it's unethical, but I believe they are doing exactly what they were hired to do.

That could be true and that would make sense for TV ratings.  But if it is, the "experts" are sacrificing their reputations, so they had better be getting paid enough to live off of for a long time, or at least enough to finance a different career.  I personally thing that at the very least, the professional psychologist Dr. Cilona, wouldn't be so foolish to sacrifice his name for ratings.  And if they are not purposely trying to create ratings and making serious matches, they should all find another career.  The pairings of last season's Ryan D alone, let alone even having that psycho on the show paired with anyone for that matter, I'm surprised that they brought back these experts.  But then again, their parings did create a ton of ratings no doubt.  But the current pairings of David/Ashley and Sam/Neil are horrid.  Opposites don't work a lot of the time, that's a foolish cliche' and not real life.

[spankydoll]

The most important topic should be WHERE are the sugar gliders? Sam and Neil don't live in that house because the menagerie isn't there. 

[SLJ22]

I know that the producers think that drama equals ratings, BUT they have got to consider that there has to be some success in terms of these relationships to keep people coming back for future seasons. I just couldn't believe it when Dr. C stated that one reason they paired David with Ashley was for him to break through her walls. That is a huge NO. It is not up to anybody to 'fix' any of us. It's our responsibility to change what needs to be changed and people are capable of hiring professionals (obviously not these) to help them overcome issues and problems. Just like Sam thinks Neil should set limits for her. No-you set limits for yourself and you are responsible for your reprehensible behaviors-not Neil. I agree with others that Vanessa seems to be looking for 'proof' that Tres has 'wrong' motives. I've known people like that who over analyze every word and action to prove that they were right about the other person's 'issues'.

If I was on a show like this (which, never...) I, too, would be trying to present my best self on camera. There are future employers, friends, lovers out there who will probably see whatever is out there. I can't see men lining up to date Sam or Ashley after this because they are both just too much work.

Excellent.  I'm shocked that Dr. C. is a professionally licensed psychologist and is actually thinking that way.  How often do you hear of a story about someone getting in and staying in an unhealthy relationship because they "thought they could change the other person".  Dr. C should know better that this isn't the makings of a successful relationship, let alone one that will last long term.  Relationships should not be so difficult by pairing two completely different if not opposite personality types. 

[ketose]

It would be how someone would act if they were looking for a beard.  I know a person who came out at middle age.  He said when he was younger he was so closeted that he could not admit his desires even to himself.  He said he came off asexual and was the nicest guy around in hopes that a female would stay with him to keep up the facade.  Of course most ladies realized something was up and he never did get that beard.  Lucky, for him, as he is now much happier being himself and does not have a marriage to get over.

 

I have no idea if Neil is gay.  However, I think that he is the only one working with arranged marriage rules in the strictest sense.  If you do not like the one your with then you suck it up and make it work (not always the best idea), unless she is chasing you around the kitchen with a knife.  The problems is Sam is almost repulsed by what she perceives as extreme passivity.

This reminds me of a plot line from Big Bang theory. Raj asked his parents to arrange a marriage because he gave up on finding a girl himself. Then he found out from his "match" that some of those arranged marriages are just gay Indians trying to get their parents off their backs.

[Jack Sampson]

The most important topic should be WHERE are the sugar gliders? Sam and Neil don't live in that house because the menagerie isn't there.

That's a good point. I guess Sam's roommate COULD be looking after them for the duration of the show, but it's a clear indication that Sam is either not living at the house with Neil or knows she'll be back home in a few more weeks so she isn't bothering to move them.

[MusicFan85]

These marriages are a big fail. I definitely agree with many posters.  Very uncomfortable to watch. 

 

David shouldn't try to kiss Ashley on a Ferris wheel next week.  There is a chance she might throw herself off. 

[Jack Sampson]

These marriages are a big fail. I definitely agree with many posters.  Very uncomfortable to watch. 

 

David shouldn't should definitely try to kiss Ashley on a Ferris wheel next week.  There is a chance she might throw herself off.

I fixed it for you.

Edited January 7, 2016 by Jack Sampson

[Snarklepuss]

The goal of this show is not to create marriages. It's to create ratings. The matchmakers skills are being used to put together couples that cause drama. I absolutely believe that they "match" one or two couples each year, that will create drama and ratings.  And you are right,Yes, it's unethical, but I believe they are doing exactly what they were hired to do.

I said this early on in watching this show last year - But the "experts" have gone on record repeatedly to insist that's not true and that they are doing this in an ethical manner and their goal is to match couples, not create drama.  And I kind of doubt after all this time that the experts are being that devious and callous with people's lives, at least not intentionally.  I think the producers try to twist things around to create drama for sure, but the experts are probably just not that good at matching people so drama is inevitable, plus the pool of eligible applicants probably limits their choices somewhat.  The experts are therapists, not matchmakers by trade.  They're not even functioning as professionals on this show.  So if they fail at this it's not necessarily a reflection on their ability as professional therapists.

[seasick]

I'm on the fence as to if  TPTB are intentionally trying to create drama couples and not sincere in finding real matches.

 

Their cash cow had been the 2 couples that stayed together from season 1  (although I admit, I'm way over season 1 by now) 

 

It's hard to say if successful matches will determine future seasons.  The Bach/Bachette seasons have had more failures than successes, but it's still going strong 

[qtpye]

I said this early on in watching this show last year - But the "experts" have gone on record repeatedly to insist that's not true and that they are doing this in an ethical manner and their goal is to match couples, not create drama.  And I kind of doubt after all this time that the experts are being that devious and callous with people's lives, at least not intentionally.  I think the producers try to twist things around to create drama for sure, but the experts are probably just not that good at matching people so drama is inevitable, plus the pool of eligible applicants probably limits their choices somewhat.  The experts are therapists, not matchmakers by trade.  They're not even functioning as professionals on this show.  So if they fail at this it's not necessarily a reflection on their ability as professional therapists.

 

Isn't it sad that the comforting thought is these people are not trying to intentionally mislead us or the participants...they are just really bad at their jobs?

 

I still like Pepper and Epstein, though I have noticed Epstein keeps his participation to a minimum (smart idea).  The other two "so called experts"  can go kick rocks, for all I care.

 

It is true that the Bachelor has been going on for years despite seasons of failures.  I do not watch it, but I doubt if anyone goes into that show for a serious relationship anymore.  They are all probably fame whore angling for their 15 minutes.

 

However, I think none of us want this show to lose all it's authenticity.  We want to see people genuinely interested in being married.

 

I think if none of the couples work out this season, they should replace Logan and Dr. C.  To me, these are the two that have failed the most.  Dr. C super duper questionnaire is obviously not working and the lack of sexual chemistry between two of the couples tells me we need a new sexologist.

[Jax7917]

Vanessa and Tres- I actually have to agree with her on this one. I would be completely unattracted to someone who passes out drunk. It's not the point if he does it once or every week( which generally if it happens once it usually isn't the first time), but its the point that you either like that type of guy or you don't. Having a few drinks is one thing but if you can't handle yourself, you need to calm down with it.

 

David and Ashley- I really do feel so bad for him. Everyone says he's needy, but the truth is, he got royally screwed over by being paired with her. We all know by now she isn't attracted to him whatsoever, but if you sign up for this show, at least go through the motions and participate in it. You are signing up for a tv show where you get married to a stranger. That means you have no idea what they look like. That means if you are the type that only dates hot guys, marrying a stranger isn't going to be the show for you because they may or may not be hot . David is not an ugly guy by any means. He might not be her dream guy looks wise, but then she shouldn't have signed up for a show where you have to marry a guy regardless of if they are hot or not. Anybody would look needy if they were paired with that cold of a person.

 

Neil and Sam- Not really interested in them and think the experts are horrendous matchmakers. I really do. The couples from the past 2 seasons were all so poorly matched . P.S for soem reason every time I look at sam I feel like she reminds me of drew barrymore. 

[henrysmom]

 

Rumor has it that it's $50 000 upfront and an extra $50 000 if they decide to stay married. However, no one has been able to verify this info.

 

 

According to the producers, the cast gets paid "nominally" or a "nothing stipend".  Which of course makes me wonder what on earth these people are doing this for.

 

http://www.bustle.com/articles/81287-married-at-first-sight-couples-arent-paid-to-get-married-theyre-in-this-for-the

 

http://www.realityblurred.com/realitytv/2014/09/married-first-sight-chris-coelen-interview/

 

http://www.thewrap.com/9-married-at-first-sight-burning-questions/

 

 

[Vivigirl10]

 

As you say, if Sam really wants to attract a man who "wears the pants" in a relationship, she needs to do a complete 180 on her personality. She SCREAMS controlling. She's bossy as hell. There is absolutely nothing about her that says "I want to be taken care of." At all. I really can't figure that out - it's so incongruous with everything we've seen of her.

Very well put!

 

I really wanted David to tattle on Ashley to Dr. Pepper that she hadn't even let him hold her hand yet.

 

This is where David is really starting to piss me off.  He beats around the bush when questioned about the level of intimacy they are having....."we've really grown in that area"....."I can really see that coming along".  Excuse me?  Stop lying and tell the truth.  Throw that cold fish corpse to the wolves and let her explain herself.  He's making me want to pull my hair out.  It's just like on the honeymoon episode when he told her that the little bit she had shared about herself, he really liked and was sooo excited to learn more!!  She gave you NOTHING.  So stop lying to yourself and the therapist.  Grrrrrrrr!

 

And Ashley?  Nursing most likely is not the career choice for you if you yourself state that you can't empathize and also cannot show a single ounce of warmth to someone who is hurting.  This girl is the most clueless person I've ever seen.  You also think you're a big talker?  She has a super warped vision of herself.  

[ClareWalks]

P.S for soem reason every time I look at sam I feel like she reminds me of drew barrymore. 

 

I can see that...like if Drew Barrymore had never stopped using drugs. (That was mean.) (But accurate.)

[qtpye]

She does not have any of Drew's dorky sweetness, though there is a faint resemblance.

[Neurochick]

Vanessa and Tres- I actually have to agree with her on this one. I would be completely unattracted to someone who passes out drunk. It's not the point if he does it once or every week( which generally if it happens once it usually isn't the first time), but its the point that you either like that type of guy or you don't. Having a few drinks is one thing but if you can't handle yourself, you need to calm down with it.

 

 

This may be true, but I felt Vanessa overreacted.  I can see her getting upset a bit, but she acted like she caught him screwing another woman in their bed.  I wonder if she told the "experts" that she didn't want to marry a man who drinks to excess.

[Gigi43]

I have not seen the entire episode yet, just the last half or so.

 

I'm cutting Vanessa a lot of slack on how she was with Tres night out. They've only known each other 2 and a half weeks, and between a new relationship and a new relationship on TV, this is generally going to make someone be on their very best behavior. He's admitted nights out include "$300 bar tabs" like it's on the regular and has hinted that he may have only been interested in getting married for as long as he knew about the show. Add on the fact that Vanessa, like myself, may find it very strange a day like Father's Day is a day Tres got so drunk on (I'd understand having say one too many with your dad, say, watching the Superbowl but even then not "passed out" level, but Father's Day??), may be sounding alarms for the future. It's making me wonder just what is Tres like on a Guys Night Out, or other events with peers, not his dad, that will be happening when the cameras are gone. Tres mentioned in a voice over something about "he has changed since getting married", uh, No. It's been 2 1/2 weeks, a week of that (I think?) they were away, that's not "change", it's having other things to do currently. He may very well intend on trying to change, but it's way too soon for him to say he has because it just hasn't been long enough.  I'd like to know if Tres had come home, gotten into bed and passed out in bed, or if he was passed out say, in the cab, and had to be helped in... to me there's a difference. I really hate being around sloppy drunks you have to physically help home.

 

Ashley and David... I think showing Ashley the videos was a little much. But, Ashley's whole "I have to study!" thing and kind of made me done with her. If she really does have to study so much why did she go on the show? Why? Unless it comes out that she was told they were going to shoot at a different time, after finals, but then they changed and she was held into the contract, she has no Out here. If she is using it as a way to not have to interact with David because she doesn't like him, well then I worry about her grades and any of her future patients because that's a very dumb excuse to use to make yourself look good, since it just makes her look stupid for the timing of going on the show while finishing a term. I worry the "Experts" are going to blame David for this. They keep making comments like "We're hoping he'll open her up" and in the past i did hear one of them say "he needs to be patient enough"... which sounds like they're getting ready their defense of having picked someone who probably shouldn't have been picked at all... it wasn't her, if David had done better she would have made the time, etc. 

 

I find myself tuning out now whenever Sam is on. Sorry, Neil.

Edited January 7, 2016 by Gigi43

[Neurochick]

I think Tres was in bed when Vanessa came home.  I get that they don't know each other well, and Vanessa might have been concerned, but if you look for stuff to be wrong, you're going to find it.  

[Gigi43]

I think Tres was in bed when Vanessa came home.  I get that they don't know each other well, and Vanessa might have been concerned, but if you look for stuff to be wrong, you're going to find it.  

 

Yeah, that's true. Personally, I think I might all be looking for things to be wrong, given how badly the show screwed up last season with picking, I could be harping on anything resembling a red flag, expecting the process to fail again.

[lids]

I find Ashley and David to be the most interesting couple. She's totally playing the clueless innocent role but her superpower is that she uses her coldness to control relationships. Although she puts that blank look on her face, you can tell that she's taking in everything that David says. As soon as she's away from David, she snaps back into her normal self and talks. When she was with his mother, she gave a blow by blow of what happened when Dave blew up and she was semi-animated. She also said when she talks about her husband at work, she calls him David. Why can't we see those conversations? I bet Ashley is telling someone all of her business. It appears to me that she doesn't put on that blank facade with anyone but David, which leads me to believe she likes David (at least a little) and this is how she acts when she's fighting vulnerability in a relationship.

Not to sound like a PUA, but she also flips her hair when she's with him, which is a sign of interest/flirting. She especially does this when her hair is straight. I noticed she did it on the honeymoon and she was doing it when she talked to him in bed this episode.

My read on Ashley is that she has an extremely high wall because behind that she has no defenses. She's doing everything she can to collect info on David before she lets him in because she has no idea how to regulate a relationship after that point. This is a woman who stayed in a relationship for 9 years and it went nowhere. She probably wishes she saw the signs in the beginning because once she was in, she was all in with her ex. I think it's wrong if she's making David pay for the sins of her ex. I also think 6 weeks is too short of a time for anyone to try to prove to Ashley that they're a good guy. She won't believe it. I also don't think the experts should pair anyone with a wounded person who controls the relationship by withholding attention and affection.

The experts do seem to be aware of Ashley's issues because in this episode they seemed to advise David that he was there to push or challenge her so he could break down her walls. Insane. Also, I think the editors are only showing us part of their relationship so they can act like in the last 2 episodes they opened up and conquered their fears to get closer to finding love, barf.

[Palomar]

His outburst seemed a little too sudden, so I don't know if something else was going on or if he got pissed that just the night before he talked about this day being hard for him, and then this morning, Ashley asks why he's so grumpy.

 

I do wonder if Ashley only went after him to comfort him because the producer told her to.

 

Of course there is editing involved and his outburst may have been after Ashley said something that pushed his buttons (or she ignores him completely when the cameras are off).  To be honest, you have to wonder how he can be as nice as he has been when she has already made it clear she wants nothing to do with him.  She isn't even friendly towards him, let alone anything else. 

 

It's a good bet that Ashley attempted to comfort him because the cameras were on and she would look coldhearted otherwise. So far Dr. Pepper is not seeing the total disconnect.

[Vinyasa]

 

It is true that the Bachelor has been going on for years despite seasons of failures.  I do not watch it, but I doubt if anyone goes into that show for a serious relationship anymore.  They are all probably fame whore angling for their 15 minutes.

And the same on this show!

 

The worst that happens is they get a divorce, the show pays for it. I doubt Monet is sorry she went on the show.

 

Now she has a spinoff show (being paid), showing up on "The First Year" and I think endorsing some hotel on Twitter. She's cashing in. Who wouldn't be?

[Neurochick]

I find Ashley and David to be the most interesting couple. She's totally playing the clueless innocent role but her superpower is that she uses her coldness to control relationships. Although she puts that blank look on her face, you can tell that she's taking in everything that David says. As soon as she's away from David, she snaps back into her normal self and talks. When she was with his mother, she gave a blow by blow of what happened when Dave blew up and she was semi-animated. She also said when she talks about her husband at work, she calls him David. Why can't we see those conversations? I bet Ashley is telling someone all of her business. It appears to me that she doesn't put on that blank facade with anyone but David, which leads me to believe she likes David (at least a little) and this is how she acts when she's fighting vulnerability in a relationship.

Not to sound like a PUA, but she also flips her hair when she's with him, which is a sign of interest/flirting. She especially does this when her hair is straight. I noticed she did it on the honeymoon and she was doing it when she talked to him in bed this episode.

My read on Ashley is that she has an extremely high wall because behind that she has no defenses. She's doing everything she can to collect info on David before she lets him in because she has no idea how to regulate a relationship after that point. This is a woman who stayed in a relationship for 9 years and it went nowhere. She probably wishes she saw the signs in the beginning because once she was in, she was all in with her ex. I think it's wrong if she's making David pay for the sins of her ex. I also think 6 weeks is too short of a time for anyone to try to prove to Ashley that they're a good guy. She won't believe it. I also don't think the experts should pair anyone with a wounded person who controls the relationship by withholding attention and affection.

The experts do seem to be aware of Ashley's issues because in this episode they seemed to advise David that he was there to push or challenge her so he could break down her walls. Insane. Also, I think the editors are only showing us part of their relationship so they can act like in the last 2 episodes they opened up and conquered their fears to get closer to finding love, barf.

 

To me Ashley is a robot with no feelings at all.  I'm assuming that she broke up with her ex because the relationship went nowhere.  But David is her HUSBAND.

 

If she's using coldness to control David, then she is NOT a kind person at all.  

 

I think most of these couples are doing it for the fame and free stuff.  As the above poster states, Monet is on another show on FYI called #black love, but I notice Vaughn is nowhere to be found.

[qtpye]

Of course there is editing involved and his outburst may have been after Ashley said something that pushed his buttons (or she ignores him completely when the cameras are off).  To be honest, you have to wonder how he can be as nice as he has been when she has already made it clear she wants nothing to do with him.  She isn't even friendly towards him, let alone anything else.

 

 

I think David is what is referred to as a "closer".  He does not stop until the deal is sealed.  It's probably a great attitude to have in sales. 

[Jack Sampson]

In the preview episode, there was a guy who pulled out at the last minute. Eric maybe - he was a 28 year old salesman. I wonder if Tres was recruited as his replacement.

In that same episode, they rejected Jeremy as a match for Ashley because he "had trouble connecting with his emotions" and was "commitment phobic". Sounds like they would have been better together.

David was originally matched with that tall blonde girl Jordan, who came off as FAR more of a match than Smashly. The reason she was rejected was her "guardedness" and "sexual naiveté". I'm guessing that means she's a virgin? Again, I'd rather be with a shy virgin than a deliberately frigid woman...of 30...who is also the most guarded woman in show history. And they made a point to say that David needs a woman who is open and warm and affectionate...

Sam was yammering on about how she is completely committed.

Logan keeps vocal frying her way through "this isn't a blind date, this is a blind marriage", and everyone stares at her wondering why she's repeating herself.

Erica drops out because she's concerned her match wouldn't be as "authentic as she is" - then they show her in the least authentic pose I've ever seen. She's in a park, having a full picnic for one (blanket, basket, wine, 3 books, reading one, 3 CANDLES OUTDOORS IN THE DAYTIME, some eastern idol she's venerating, 2 sets of flowers, you get the idea) - a Hollywood set designer couldn't have gone further over-the-top for her "authentic" day at the park.

[Evil Queen]

Sam is just so full of crap IMO. She has a pattern of behavior she has shown. She talks about Neil being fake but she hasn't been real once at all. She is one of those that will make it seem like its everyone else that is the problem and at fault but never will she EVER take responsibility for how she truly is. Her saying she thinks he wasn't mentally prepared for this...OMG I wanted to smack her so bad. Who wasn't ready? While I am glad Neil told Dr. Pepper that Sam acted as she had during the honeymoon, it would be nice to see her fully called out on all her behavior. Sorry but no matter what if someone was more dominating to her she would go off on that. She likes being how she is. I want to say its like a game to her but that isn't the right words for it. She is making excuses about him being to laid back and such because she wants to come off a certain way to Dr. Pepper and blame Neil for everything that is wrong with them. I said it in a different thread but I have known people like her. In the end Neil needs to run fast away from her. She won't listen to Dr. Pepper about things. It is all about Sam in her eyes and nothing else. She will act the same horrible way no matter what. Look how she was one on one with Dr. Pepper and then with Neil there as well. Typical way of people like them to act. Talk crap about the person like its their fault for everything yet really its them who is the issue. I wish we could have seen her questioned on her behavior on the honeymoon and how Sam would have responded in front of Neil with Dr. Pepper. Not to into that whole gun thing with Sam's Dad. Him telling Neil to man up....why not tell his daughter to knock her crap off instead? I'm not keen on her dad at this point either. Why is it just Neil needing to communicate better? I think Sam needs to learn some of those skills herself. People like her make it hard for one to actually communicate that normally would. Notice she never really looks him in the eyes to much when she speaks to him? Its always the ground or somewhere else a lot of times I noticed. 

 

   Just so over Ashley and her cold self. I'm surprised she would even sleep next to David. Her not realizing what is wrong with him on Father's Day but maybe if she actually heard him talk over the time she might realize what was up instead of why are you so grumpy. I laughed at her saying she was in this with him and he is her husband. If that is the case then why not act like it just a little bit even? Why be a cold fish all the damn time and blank stare? His mom is right about the opening up. She sees it for sure. Probably should be telling them each that over and over again. I'm surprised Ashley sat and watched the videos like that. I admit that I might get bored with having to sit through all that myself. I don't think it would have been overload of info as she said though...just a little boring. LOL Dr. Pepper is right that there needs to be that physical connection. I don't get why Ashley can't give a hug here and there. It might seem awkward and all but it would be something. I wish we knew about her 9 yr relationship she had before this. What was it like? How was she in that relationship? She won't just talk to him for a short time even then it won't work. If she has to study bed isn't the best place to IMO. Why wasn't she doing it sooner as well? I would think in that big house she could find a really nice place to go study that wasn't the bedroom. She used it as an excuse to not talk to David. David so needs to take that advice he would give a friend in this situation and just not try anymore. Would she change and try more if he turned the tables on her and became closed off and quiet? 

 

The talk with Tres' Dad and Vanessa on the bed seemed more awkward to me then creepy like. She said something about Tres' Sunday night rituals. So maybe he said it was what he used to do all the time before getting married but as others have said, they haven't been married long enough to say he has changed his ways. Obviously he has said things to her about his partying to the point its enough to be concerned for her. Yet I don't want to hear that "my daddy wasn't around" BS for not trusting or anything else with men. She came off full of crap on that to me. I think things he has said is what is raising red flags. Especially after they slept together. Which in turn is why she should have held off still on that part of things. Someone like him that brags about dropped $200-300 when out partying it up is not someone I'd want to be with and is so not ready to stop that for marriage. I kind of doubt he has any sort of daddy/son relationship with his father. He has said enough times that his dad wasn't around much and basically didn't raise him. Its more a party it up buddy thing. So yeah I could see concern there. The way he was brought into this show and the way he has thrown money into his nights out sounds like its a bad combo all around right there. He got laid finally like he wanted so I can see him going out and partying it up looking for the next one. I don't know anyone that is going to go out with a parent that get drunk. I sure wouldn't be and saying how his dad was in town as an excuse for it was lame. 

 

Ok and the previews...looks like David and Ashely are hugging at that point. The kiss though...I am wondering if maybe she will go for it and just a quick peak and get it over with. They are sitting with his arm around her and close together which is more then it has been. LOL Yet I wouldn't be surprised if she just let's him do it on the cheek and that is it. 

   Tres taking a business call. I'm a little surprised with that but then I have no idea how it is with car salesmen. Do they get calls away from the job like that? I know when my husband was running things for his job that he has had to take calls outside of work. The only time it was really annoying was the first weekend we got to spend away together with no kids and they knew he was not going to be around but he didn't even take a call. He wanted nothing to do with it. LOL So there is a time and a place but if Tres knew he might get one then maybe say something to her about it to give a heads up and make the call a quick one.