S04.E08: Dirty Thirty

[Duke2801]

ghoulina, on 22 Dec 2015 - 1:49 PM, said:ghoulina, on 22 Dec 2015 - 1:49 PM, said:

I did not feel that her actual emotions were disingenuous. I'm sure losing a parent is really hard and I can imagines holidays and the like are tough to get through without them. I just really did not believe that was her reason for trying to stop Tom from going. I think it was plain and simple - she didn't want him to go on a trip without her because she can't keep tabs on him. Also, I think Ariana entertains this idea that she's such a "cool chick" that the guys would want her around, no matter what. 

 

But the truth of the matter is, sometimes guys and girls just need to cut loose by themselves. As evidenced in this episode, when the guys are sans girlfriends, they can let down their guard and let off steam in ways they normally can't do. Now, of course that doesn't involve nudity for all males, but the general point still stands. I think it's good for them. It just happens to damage Arian's over-inflated ego, that's all. 

 

Right. ITA she was over-reacting about the Vegas trip happening the day after her birthday party. And I'm allll about separate girl and guy time 100%.  However, I do think that the milestone birthday + the loss of her dad stirred up a lot of emotions in her that factored into why she was acting really clingy and irrational.  But, of course, our own experiences and how we feel about the cast factor into how we "read" certain scenes. (I don't mind Arianna - I don't love her, but she generally doesn't annoy me).

 

eta: OK I am feeling slightly less sympathetic about her whining after I read this excerpt from her blog on Reality Tea.  Apparently Tom really went out of his way to make her b-day special. I wonder why they wouldn't have included the 'surprise' element in the footage.  I would have like to see that!

 

Reflecting on her “epic” birthday party, Ariana divulges a surprise move Tom Sandoval undertook to make her special day even more special. “Tom surprised me at my party by flying in my best friend Whitney of 10 years who had never been to LA to visit before. She and my friend Meredith hid inside a two-person horse costume and after doing an adorable little performance, Tom and Meredith unveiled that Whitney was in the head of the costume. My friend Lindsay Hand also surprised me by flying in. I was surrounded by so many people who mean everything to me and I got to do flips on a bungee trampoline with sno-cones at the same time!”

 

Edited December 22, 2015 by Duke2801

[FozzyBear]

Okay, prepare my handbasket, because I'm just going to come right out and say it - I think Ariana totally played the "dead daddy" card. I'm not saying her father being gone doesn't really hurt, especially around big milestones. But I think this was a Hail Mary. Yes, I know Ariana doesn't like to talk about feelings, because she's so AMAZING like that. But she has also repeatedly said that she and Tom are best friends and talk about everything. So I could only assume if it bothered her all that much, Tom would already know. I'm sure she gets a bit sad, but I don't think that was the real reason she didn't want him to go. It was just a desperate last attempt at making him stay.

Still it was hilarious to see her crying, "My dad is dead!" and Tom replies, "But there's dump trucks!" Hahahaha, such a 5-year-old. Never change, Sandoval, never change.

Overall, I just thought it was ridiculous the way the women were acting about the boys going to Vegas. I don't see what's so wrong about a guys trip or a girls trip. And the big thing here, that I feel like everyone was overlooking was - Peter's Birthday! HE wanted to go to Vegas. That's what he wanted to do. No one poo-poo'd on Ariana's birthday plans. She got exactly what she wanted. But now Tom has the audacity to want to celebrate his friend's birthday "The day AFTER mine". What, is she the new Stassi? Is her birthday to be commemorated for an entire week? It's not like Peter can help when he was born!

Truth is, they're all worried their dudes are going to cheat. So let's get real. If your dude has a wander eye, it doesn't matter if he's in Vegas or at the IHOP down the road. They know who they're dating, so either deal with it, or get out.

I didn't really pay much attention to the subsequent guy and girl outings. I sat and read the entire time the boys were in Vegas, because I didn't want to accidentally see an errant ass or penis. I was listening, though, so I got to find out that Katie and Schwartz's apartment basically smells like farts masked by 30 candles.

I am glad the girls eventually invited Lala over. Not that I love her or anything, but I hate when people feel left out. That scene at the table with Lisa was SO awkward. Ariana is all, "I totally don't want to make you feel bad".....but here, let me stick my arm in your face as I show Lisa a video of just how much fun we were having!

I'm only pissed at the ladies for validating Jax's belief about what goes on at female slumber parties.

But let's be clear - Shay was the real winner in all this. He got to escape the chance of a dude's sweaty ass being pushed up on his face and watch hot girls make out instead. You go, Shay!

So next week is Sandoval's birthday and it promises to include more drama than any of the birthday's so far this season! All I can say is, I hope Ariana has some money left over after her blowout to buy Tom some new shirts. I'd hate to see him running around in any more with holes in them, or that awful one in Vegas that looked like a disease under a microscope.

Make that a hand basket built for two! I didn't believe that story about her dad either. I mean, I'm sure she does miss him extra on special occasions, but it had zero to do with Tom going to Vegas. She doesn't want him to go because she thinks he will cheat, but she'll never admit that. Ever. Admitting that Tom is just kind of a cheater would make the start of their relationship kind of sleazy instead of the greatest love story ever told! (Available as a graphic novel at Urban Outfitters for $24.99) I mean Kristen forced Tom and Airianna to sleep together while he was with Kristen and AMAZING Airianna would never do anything to make Tom cheat so it much be about all the feels about her birthday.

Did anyone catch when the boys came back to the room really drunk with McDonalds (the best hangover/sober up food ever invented) and Tom had a tiara on and said something like "It's my birthday! Everyone pay attention to MEEEEEE!" Was he totally making fun of Airianna? I hope so. That would make me so happy.

Edited December 22, 2015 by FozzyBear

[bichonblitz]

I'll amend my comment to say that sleeveless dresses are not flattering on Lisa. Sure, there are women over 50 who have taken care of themselves and/or have great genes who have beautiful upper arms. However the average woman over 50 has suffered the effects of time and gravity.

I agree with you on this. If you are 50 or over, you have to work your ass off for that great body.  And a lot of women do it successfully.  Apparently Lisa doesn't. And when you reach "that" age, sometimes you just don't know what the hell you are supposed to wear anymore. I'm facing that now myself. I think shorts and sleeveless anything (unless I'm hanging around the house) are a thing of the past for me, and I was always a person that had great arms and legs without much effort. So now it's all about still wanting to look sylish without veering in to the frumpy zone. 

 

Anyway, I digress. I love the stupidness of the Tom's.  Peter, you're half way there with the haircut. Go back and get a style now. 

Edited December 22, 2015 by bichonblitz

[Judi Sunshine]

I must be in the minority because I thought Ariana's party looked like fun. Friends of mine have had birthdays where they rented a bouncy house (one year it was a bouncy waterslide). Sometimes (ok a lot of times) it is fun to just not give a shit and do ridiculous things because...fun. For my next birthday (34!!) I want to go to this local ski resort and roll around in human size inflatable hamster balls.

I'm with you 100%; I'd do Ariana's party in a heartbeat if I could afford to. And I love your idea about the hamster balls!!! How does one arrange such a thing?

[yourmomiseasy]

Overall, I just thought it was ridiculous the way the women were acting about the boys going to Vegas. I don't see what's so wrong about a guys trip or a girls trip. And the big thing here, that I feel like everyone was overlooking was - Peter's Birthday! HE wanted to go to Vegas. That's what he wanted to do. No one poo-poo'd on Ariana's birthday plans. She got exactly what she wanted. But now Tom has the audacity to want to celebrate his friend's birthday "The day AFTER mine". What, is she the new Stassi? Is her birthday to be commemorated for an entire week? It's not like Peter can help when he was born! 

 

It wasn't actually Peter's birthday though.  It was some time after Peter's birthday because he was scheduled to work on his birthday.  When he invited Tom he mentioned "hey remember I had a birthday and I had to work on it?  Well now I want to go to Vegas for it."  So technically the timing of the weekend could have been changed, but I know the Toms are both very busy in the summer, so it was probably hard to work the trip around their busy schedules of not-pimping sangria and what-not.  

 

Also, I would have a similar party...if I didn't have a winter birthday and live in North Jersey. Can I declare a summer birthday from now on? As it is, I think I'll set up a Dive-Bar Dance Party for my next one...if I can drag my appropriately sleeve-covered self out of the old-folks' home and into the hipbone-ache-inducing cold night.

 

 

Have a half birthday or just be all "remember that time 6 months ago when I had a birthday, well now I want to have a party."

[jaync]

"You're a pretty unicorn, you're not supposed to cry." Sometimes I love Katie.

 

This stuff about these peoples' birthdays really gets out of hand.

For real, but the show wouldn't be quite the same if it didn't, given how special these bozos think they are.

 

Tom Sandoval on going to Vegas: "I'll be there for you when the rain starts to fall. I'll be there for you like I've been there before. But DUDE! Bulldozers!!!"

FI's delivery was fantastic, I couldn't stop laughing.

 

I also loved the shot of Katie immediately after Scheana's "....and tequila." Good one, editors.

 

Sorry, but this is NOT something straight dudes in their 30's do -- EVER.

​Is it something gay dudes in their 30s do? Not to say the chucklefucks are totally hetero (though none of them ping for me as much as Jim Edmonds), but their shenanigans didn't seem to be for the sake of getting each other off. Unfortunately, I've seen and heard of straight men doing raunchy, juvenile shit like that, and that's without any mactors or Jax in the mix.

 

When Jax says you're funky, and has to spray you down before going out? Yeah, that ain't good. Wash that ass, Schwartz!

 

[yourmomiseasy]

From the recap:

 

Bonus points for wearing sunglasses still bearing a tag, entering the room making fun of Ariana

 

 

I thought he was making fun of Stassi.  Didn't she wear a tiara on the chunky sweater fight birthday in Vegas?  But maybe he was just having trouble finding a unicorn horn for an Ariana impersonation and subbed in a tiara.

[TattleTeeny]

"You're a pretty unicorn, you're not supposed to cry." Sometimes I love Katie.

 

Haha! She was talking like one would to a little kid!

[FozzyBear]

​Is it something gay dudes in their 30s do? Not to say the chucklefucks are totally hetero (though none of them ping for me as much as Jim Edmonds), but their shenanigans didn't seem to be for the sake of getting each other off. Unfortunately, I've seen and heard of straight men doing raunchy, juvenile shit like that, and that's without any mactors or Jax in the mix.

When Jax says you're funky, and has to spray you down before going out? Yeah, that ain't good. Wash that ass, Schwartz!

Yeah, more than having any particular sexual orientation these people just strike me as being like dogs in heat. They even flirt that way too, by sticking their butts at each other. Watch any scene in a pool and the girls will start twerking like the rent is due. It's all about butts with these people.

[ghoulina]

It wasn't actually Peter's birthday though.  It was some time after Peter's birthday because he was scheduled to work on his birthday.  When he invited Tom he mentioned "hey remember I had a birthday and I had to work on it?  Well now I want to go to Vegas for it."  So technically the timing of the weekend could have been changed, but I know the Toms are both very busy in the summer, so it was probably hard to work the trip around their busy schedules of not-pimping sangria and what-not.

 

Right. I mean, I didn't think Peter's birthday was the exact day after Arianna's, or even her party. I just figured they were in close proximity to each other, and I can't really see Peter being the type to intentionally plan Vegas for the day after her party - like he was trying to be mean. It probably really did work best for everyone's schedules, most notably his - as he seems to be the only one who REALLY works. 

[Housewives Addict]

Okay, prepare my handbasket, because I'm just going to come right out and say it - I think Ariana totally played the "dead daddy" card. I'm not saying her father being gone doesn't really hurt, especially around big milestones. But I think this was a Hail Mary. Yes, I know Ariana doesn't like to talk about feelings, because she's so AMAZING like that. But she has also repeatedly said that she and Tom are best friends and talk about everything. So I could only assume if it bothered her all that much, Tom would already know. I'm sure she gets a bit sad, but I don't think that was the real reason she didn't want him to go. It was just a desperate last attempt at making him stay. 

 

 

This was my exact thought too!  She was dreading the thought of Tom going and had to quickly think up some reason.  Sure I understand she was legitimately sad about her father, but she was definitely using it to gain sympathy from FI.

[fliptopbox]

I'm with you 100%; I'd do Ariana's party in a heartbeat if I could afford to. And I love your idea about the hamster balls!!! How does one arrange such a thing?

Around here I suppose I just need to call the resort place and book a day/time...depending what time of year they do the OGO balls. I'm not sure if they have that (and the rest of their mountain adventures) available before summer cos that particular type has water inside so it's like a hamster ball meets slip-n-slide. My birthday is in March so the weather usually isn't nice enough (in central PA) for swimming or anything. But I can wait. The ropes course sounds like fun too....hell, all of it does. And for $40 it includes use of OGO Balls, Tree House Zips, Canopy Crawl, Alpine Traverse, The Woods, Cedar Maze, Bumper Boats and Scenic Chairlift Ride.

 

 

http://www.skiroundtop.com/mt-adventures

[SuzWhat]

Peters hair looks so much better.

I'm not so enamored of Peter's bob.

[fliptopbox]

I'm not so enamored of Peter's bob.

Nor am I. I feel like it's basically the same haircut he had, just minus a few inches. It has no real style to it at all....it just hangs there. No wonder he (supposedly) has the ponytail again, he probably never had much of a style to work with.

[Judi Sunshine]

Around here I suppose I just need to call the resort place and book a day/time...depending what time of year they do the OGO balls. I'm not sure if they have that (and the rest of their mountain adventures) available before summer cos that particular type has water inside so it's like a hamster ball meets slip-n-slide. My birthday is in March so the weather usually isn't nice enough (in central PA) for swimming or anything. But I can wait. The ropes course sounds like fun too....hell, all of it does. And for $40 it includes use of OGO Balls, Tree House Zips, Canopy Crawl, Alpine Traverse, The Woods, Cedar Maze, Bumper Boats and Scenic Chairlift Ride.

 

 

http://www.skiroundtop.com/mt-adventures

That place looks INCREDIBLE. I wonder if they have something like that in Colorado! You should definitely do your birthday there!

[Ladybyrd]

Last week I thought Arianna was being a little silly about the guys trip.  I'm someone who is always glad to have girl time, and "the day after my birthday" isn't a thing anyway. Oh, and I was also a little judgy that she doesn't really know what "heteronormative" means.

 

This week, though, I was on her side.  30 is a huge milestone and she was clearly feeling a little fragile. It was less about not wanting to be with the girls all weekend and more about needing to know that she is Tom's priority.  

 

And I think a bouncy castle is an awesome idea. Who cares if you're five or thirty or sixty? They're fun! 

[The Mighty Peanut]

I only distrust Ariana's motives because it was in front of the cameras. I think it's totally normal to want the emotional support of your sig other during holidays and milestones where that phone call isn't made, or the place at the table isn't set (that's the worst for me personally). I believe she wanted Tom around...but agree it was a bit of a power play to make him potentially look like a jerk on camera, which he did. Also, Ariana should be suspicious of him. He cheated on Kristen in Vegas multiple times, once with Ariana, and no matter how over it she pretends to be, Miami Girl kills her. I think they've kind of trapped themselves into this true wuv image and don't want to break the facade.

[Ubiquitous]

Nor am I. I feel like it's basically the same haircut he had, just minus a few inches. It has no real style to it at all....it just hangs there. No wonder he (supposedly) has the ponytail again, he probably never had much of a style to work with.

Who was that asshole who used to have a candid realty show on Bravo whose "bangin'" hairdos were exactly the same? Peter's new haircut reminded me of him for some reason.

[The Mighty Peanut]

Hahaha that was Jonathan from Blow Out. I haven't thought of him in YEARS. Remember when he landed the deal with Sephora and started sobbing? I remember The Soup had a fake commercial called "Tears by Jonathan" that would cause everyone to grow luxurious banging hair (pronounced haaaaaarrrr). Oh, Blow Out. Those were the days.

 

ETA: 

Edited December 23, 2015 by The Mighty Peanut

[Granimal]

Yeah, I wouldn't trust any of these guys alone in Vegas. So I wouldn't be dating them in the first place!

 

Sadly, I think the butt-in-faces thing is typical frat-boy behavior. Times have changed. A LOT. You should hear what they do for hazing. Not sure why "straight" guys are into that, maybe latent curiosity? I think sexuality is very fluid so I may not be the right person to analyze that.

 

Re: The Amazing Ari (love that name), I agree that her not wanting Tom to go to Vegas had nothing to do with the day after her birthday. (Is anyone buying that excuse?) It was a little funny (and sad) how none of the guys seemed to give a shit how their girlfriends felt. Schwartz and Katie were particularly troubling because he's supposed to be planning on marrying her. Jax talking about Scheana not letting Shay go to Vegas and saying he'd never get married- HA! Biggest laugh of the night for me. No awareness- that one. His girlfriend seems like a total airhead as well. (I'm judgmental.)

 

Regarding Tom Sandoval's appearance- I do think that he looks more unkempt this season. When he was with Kristen maybe she demanded he keep his appearance up, maybe he's used to the cameras by now and over it, maybe he is or isn't happy with his relationship. (I still maintain Kristen stole his straight iron.) Who knows? I did notice he took the time to groom in Vegas though.

Edited December 23, 2015 by Granimal

[bichonblitz]

Hahaha that was Jonathan from Blow Out. I haven't thought of him in YEARS. Remember when he landed the deal with Sephora and started sobbing? The Soup had a fake commercial called "Tears by Jonathan" that would cause everyone to grow luxurious banging hair (pronounced haaaaaarrrr). Oh, Blow Out. Those were the days.

Yes, good ole Jonathan. The beginnings of reality TV. Look how far we've come! 

[fliptopbox]

Hahaha that was Jonathan from Blow Out. I haven't thought of him in YEARS. Remember when he landed the deal with Sephora and started sobbing? The Soup had a fake commercial called "Tears by Jonathan" that would cause everyone to grow luxurious banging hair (pronounced haaaaaarrrr). Oh, Blow Out. Those were the days.

Oh man, Jonathan Antin. I remember my dad got me hooked on Blow Out...and Queer Eye. It's been such the slippery slope which is now my love for horrendous reality tv. It was all started by Bravo and MTV (back when Real World was actually good!).

Edited December 23, 2015 by fliptopbox

[KungFuBunny]

I've never been all that enchanted by her supposed beauty---she's just another generic girl-next-door-in-LA type to me. I think her smugly aloof "cool girl" attitude makes her far less attractive than she could be though.

Boy was "Amazing Ariana" off her cool girl game today though! What an idiotic excuse of a 30th birthday party!!

A bouncy house, face-painting, sno-cones and costumes? Da'fuq?! Yeah, because a kiddie party for adults is just soooo cool and intelligent and sophisticated.

Seeing her whining and weeping in that stupid unicorn outfit to Sandovol that she didn't want him to go on his Vegas guys getaway tells me all I need to know about the REAL Ariana: she's every bit as shallow and insecure of herself and her pathetic excuse of a relationship as every other chick on this show.

And what's wrong with guys going on guys trips, ladies? If you're that upset about "letting" your man go on a trip with other dudes, you really need to reassess your relationship.

Although what's up with the nude frolicking and humping these guys do when they're goofing around together?! I'd be more concerned about the fact that my guy finds it perfectly acceptable to rub his junk and his ass on his guyfriends' faces after a few drinks, but maybe that's just me.

 

Ariana's party - hey whatever floats your boat. But I did giggle and wonder where the adulting came into play - was it by serving Tequila?

I was so hoping Tequila Katie would make an appearance...sadly no go.

As for having to work cause she's the only bartender with the boys gone I call BS...they've ALL travelled before and SUR has bartenders who work whenever the cast members are filming elsewhere.

 

FI Tom got tired of vacationing into your eyes - he preferred going to Vegas with the boys.

 

Since Ariana prefers giving oral than receiving - she can practice with her unicorn headband while Tom was away.

If you don't know what to do with your hands while receiving than Tom is doing something wrong

[hatchetgirl]

If my husband fucked around on me, in Vegas, I can assure you, he wouldn't be going to Vegas the next year. I think that's what it's about.

As for the male play stuff, I have a group of male friends that used to do that when they were 22.

Shay. Seriously, the addiction thing is serious and these people act like oh ho hum. He'll be fine. Especially Scheana. What an idiot.

[Granimal]

If my husband fucked around on me, in Vegas, I can assure you, he wouldn't be going to Vegas the next year. I think that's what it's about.

As for the male play stuff, I have a group of male friends that used to do that when they were 22.

Shay. Seriously, the addiction thing is serious and these people act like oh ho hum. He'll be fine. Especially Scheana. What an idiot.

Yes, production is clearly hoping for another cheating scandal. I wouldn't put it past them to actually scout girls to send over to the group. Eh. Not that the guys need it, I think they all have reasonably low-standards that would allow for getting laid in Vegas.

 

The girl-on-girl party was so... typical. Inviting LaLa- probably producer driven. My partner walked in when she was on-screen and asked why her face was orange. I think its makeup? Or we just have a messed up TV. Interesting in a group with Scheana someone else stands out as having a lot of makeup on.

 

Just realized I used "producer driven" twice. I usually get lost in these shows and see them as mostly real, so I guess I felt something was off about this episode.

[BogoGog24]

Yup in one scene, I think it was at SUR when Lala was standing at the hostess stand, I noticed the color of her foundation didn't match the rest of her neck. You could clearly see the lines where her foundation ended. If you want to be orange, fine, but BLEND!

I'm pretty certain Peter had nothing to do at all with the party planning. Bravo chooses the events, sometimes even the host/ess, and when and where it's going to be. They do all the planning and pay for everything. The cast just has to show up and create drama. I'm certain Bravo purposely planned the trip the day after Ariana's party on purpose to create drama.

I definitely thought Tom was imitating Stassi for sure. One of the funniest moments on the show. That was always Stassi's go-to phrase "It's MYYYYY birthday!!!!" She also referred to herself as Princess Stassi in season 1 so that's where the tiara came from I guess. Ah, the good old days when Stassi acted like her birthday was a national holiday. Coincidentally I share the same birthday as her. I mean, we share the same BIRTHDAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

[The Mighty Peanut]

Yes, production is clearly hoping for another cheating scandal. I wouldn't put it past them to actually scout girls to send over to the group. Eh. Not that the guys need it, I think they all have reasonably low-standards that would allow for getting laid in Vegas.

 

The girl-on-girl party was so... typical. Inviting LaLa- probably producer driven. My partner walked in when she was on-screen and asked why her face was orange. I think its makeup? Or we just have a messed up TV. Interesting in a group with Scheana someone else stands out as having a lot of makeup on.

 

Just realized I used "producer driven" twice. I usually get lost in these shows and see them as mostly real, so I guess I felt something was off about this episode.

 

I agree. I also thought Lala finding out she wasn't invited to Cool Times Birthday Party with The Amazing Ari was producer driven. "Hello staff, lets talk about this birthday party everyone was invited to...oh, you weren't invited? Awkward..."

[Duke2801]

The Mighty Peanut, on 22 Dec 2015 - 7:03 PM, said:

Hahaha that was Jonathan from Blow Out. I haven't thought of him in YEARS. Remember when he landed the deal with Sephora and started sobbing? The Soup had a fake commercial called "Tears by Jonathan" that would cause everyone to grow luxurious banging hair (pronounced haaaaaarrrr). Oh, Blow Out. Those were the days.

 

OMGGGG Jonathan Effing Antin.  I completely forgot about him and that show. He and his diva hissyfits were the best/worst!

 

BogoGog24, on 23 Dec 2015 - 08:04 AM, said:

Yup in one scene, I think it was at SUR when Lala was standing at the hostess stand, I noticed the color of her foundation didn't match the rest of her neck. You could clearly see the lines where her foundation ended. If you want to be orange, fine, but BLEND!

I'm pretty certain Peter had nothing to do at all with the party planning. Bravo chooses the events, sometimes even the host/ess, and when and where it's going to be. They do all the planning and pay for everything. The cast just has to show up and create drama. I'm certain Bravo purposely planned the trip the day after Ariana's party on purpose to create drama.

I definitely thought Tom was imitating Stassi for sure. One of the funniest moments on the show. That was always Stassi's go-to phrase "It's MYYYYY birthday!!!!" She also referred to herself as Princess Stassi in season 1 so that's where the tiara came from I guess. Ah, the good old days when Stassi acted like her birthday was a national holiday. Coincidentally I share the same birthday as her. I mean, we share the same BIRTHDAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

 

ITA about the timing of Peter's birthday trip being producer-driven as well. Those Bravo execs are no slouches.  They know exactly how to maximize drama.

[ghoulina]

Ariana's party - hey whatever floats your boat. But I did giggle and wonder where the adulting came into play - was it by serving Tequila?

 

In defense of Ariana (yikes, I just died a little inside) I don't think she actually LIKES adulting. She said on the after show that growing up was a "trap". I think the adulting comments about the couch were supposed to be playful, because it's NOT something they normally do. She likes to be seen as fun, young, cool. She doesn't want to get married. Or have kids. She just wants to play! So I think the party was right up her alley. 

 

Since Ariana prefers giving oral than receiving - she can practice with her unicorn headband while Tom was away.

If you don't know what to do with your hands while receiving than Tom is doing something wrong

 

I didn't believe her in that moment at all. I thought that was just more of her, "Amazing Ariana" schtick. She's the girl who's so cool she'd actually rather give a BJ than receive oral sex. Okay. Yea....

[Tara Ariano]

In case you missed it, here's the Previously.TV post on the episode!

 

A Thirtieth Birthday Twenty-Five Years In The Making
This week Ariana gets the gift that keeps on giving for her birthday (daddy issues), while everyone else gets blue balls!

[Sun-Bun]

Since Ariana prefers giving oral than receiving - she can practice with her unicorn headband while Tom was away.

If you don't know what to do with your hands while receiving than Tom is doing something wrong

THANK YOU!!! I'd totally forgotten about that insane quote from the queen of all that's cool, Ariana.

I literally shot a "Da'fuq?!" face at my TV screen after she smugly said that---and then I wanted to shake some sense into her so-called genius head.

Girl, you BOTH are doing something wrong and clearly need some further sexual education when neither of you is getting pleasure from going Downtown Julie Brown! Way to further publicly blow your "cool girl" cover there, Amazing Ari!!

[Sun-Bun]

Speaking of "cool girl" shtick, the girls-making-out-with-each-other-to-titilate-guys cliché is soooo passé and lame.

Don't most of us hetero females outgrow that shit after college and/or age 24? I just couldn't believe those skanks were still playing up that ridiculously tired stereotype of slumber parties---and just to get off the likes of gross old Jax with his antiquated ideals of female bonding too, ugh...

[JenE4]

So the show spends approximately 34 minutes with ALL of the girls boo-hooing and giving ultimatums and pleading for their relationships that none of the guys go. But "bulldozers!" trumps any cheating fears. Then Lisa asks why did you let them go? And then suddenly all of the girls act like they fully trust their guys and encouraged them to go. But just in case they might cheat, let's cheat with each other, so they'll be tittilated by what they have at home. And then the guys show that they're not kissing any girls by kissing each other in reciprocal videos. Then they all gather around Skype chat in the hotel room to "prove" that they all made it back to the room safely without cheating. But then as soon as they hang up the phone, Sandoval is all "Whoo! Let's get back out there and cheat!" I presume that part was a joke, but they did leave the room and end on that cliffhanger so it's possible cheating might happen. Why do I get the feeling that we didn't see Kristin this episode only because we weren't looking hard enough. Perhaps she was behind a potted plant in da club with spy gear or at least a Whisper 2000, trying to get evidence of cheating. Sandoval, opens the door to go back out into the hall, and Kristin's going to fall into the room with a glass up to her ear.

[WhosThatGirl]

Why do I get the feeling that we didn't see Kristin this episode only because we weren't looking hard enough. Perhaps she was behind a potted plant in da club with spy gear or at least a Whisper 2000, trying to get evidence of cheating. Sandoval, opens the door to go back out into the hall, and Kristin's going to fall into the room with a glass up to her ear.

 

If only. How much better would the episode have been if the door opened and there was Kristen? Maybe she brought the host from the show Cheaters just in case. 

[The Mighty Peanut]

Kristen should BE the host of cheaters.

[Chalby]

Jax talking about Scheana not letting Shay go to Vegas and saying he'd never get married- HA! 

That line made me laugh as well. Whatever makes Jax think ANYONE would marry him? He might as well be walking around with the sign LOSER around his neck. Women will use him but they definitely won't want to stay with him.

[Chalby]

Although what's up with the nude frolicking and humping these guys do when     they're goofing around together?     

I have noticed over the last year that Jax in particular tries to be as nude as possible. Jax is in love with himself, and I also think he still hangs on to his bisexual needs. Does anyone else remember that guy they ran into (Miami?) where the guys were commenting that a fellow in the nightclub greeted Jax and commented to them about Jax and he being in a relationship. Jax humping and rubbing the window was just disgusting. Guaranteed - I will never look at hotel room windows in the same way, again.

[KungFuBunny]

Speaking of "cool girl" shtick, the girls-making-out-with-each-other-to-titilate-guys cliché is soooo passé and lame.

Don't most of us hetero females outgrow that shit after college and/or age 24? I just couldn't believe those skanks were still playing up that ridiculously tired stereotype of slumber parties---and just to get off the likes of gross old Jax with his antiquated ideals of female bonding too, ugh...

Ariana's crying at her birthday party and the girls making out - was all fake and they were all trying their job at acting.

 

I do have to say though - Scheana can not act - she was way into the kissing.

 

PS: If they didn't want anyone to feel left out how come no one invited Brittany (she would for the first time be wearing an event appropriate ensemble) or Kristen?

[Chalby]

This is just...what...? What about her body looks that much different than anyone else's on the show (and, more important, what is the "figure" of a 45-to-50-year-old woman supposed to look like?... . And not that I have noticed a difference in her Tom's appearance at all but, if there is, how on earth are we to assume it's Ariana's doing? 

As soon as I read the post that was blaming Ariana for Tom's look, and comparing her body to an older woman's, I had to laugh because I immediately recognized Kristen in disguise, posting about her rival, Ariana.  LOL

[Chalby]

 However the average woman over 50 has suffered the effects of time and gravity.

Time and gravity do not affect upper arms. Weight gain is the only thing that makes upper arms look bad, and it looks bad at any age.

Edited December 23, 2015 by Chalby

[bref]

*clears throat* Let me just say that I can vouch for the fact that there are women in the world who prefer giving to receiving. Everyone's sexuality is different! *slinks away*

ETA: OH! and as a woman over 50, who is not in awesome shape, i'm gonna go sleeveless on a hot day if I feel like it. Sorry to offend anyone's sense of aesthetics, but y'all can just look away. (And I would KILL to look like Lisa, who is about the same age I am)

Edited December 24, 2015 by bref

[MrsRafaelBarba]

I'm not so enamored of Peter's bob.

The result of letting a Mon Chi Chi with scissors near his hair.

[heatherchandler]

*clears throat* Let me just say that I can vouch for the fact that there are women in the world who prefer giving to receiving. Everyone's sexuality is different! *slinks away*

ETA: OH! and as a woman over 50, who is not in awesome shape, i'm gonna go sleeveless on a hot day if I feel like it. Sorry to offend anyone's sense of aesthetics, but y'all can just look away. (And I would KILL to look like Lisa, who is about the same age I am)

Yes to both! I agree that some women (cough) enjoy giving more.

I'm not quite there age-wise and my arms still look ok... But WHY should us women give a F what anyone cares about our arms?? I don't care, why do others? It is not like torture to have to look at some droopy skin, is it?

[Adultosaurus]

Hahaha that was Jonathan from Blow Out. I haven't thought of him in YEARS. Remember when he landed the deal with Sephora and started sobbing? I remember The Soup had a fake commercial called "Tears by Jonathan" that would cause everyone to grow luxurious banging hair (pronounced haaaaaarrrr). Oh, Blow Out. Those were the days.

 

ETA: 

Guys, he just wanted to "DO GREAT HAIR".  That was all.  

And every single cut he gave was exactly the same.  I think he showed up on some other hair-related show recently - but as the outcast/villain.

[Granimal]

Sometimes people in relationships "let themselves go*". Could be a sign of unhappiness. Or could be a sign of happiness and no longer looking for other options. Either way its common after the first few years of dating.

 

*Not that Sandoval looks bad! But he does look different from the fake tan loving, hair straightening, makeup wearing Tom.

 

I think past season Sandoval was upping his game to get with Ariana, and now that he's with her he's more comfortable with his natural appearance and ceased the numerous grooming rituals.

 

Too bad because they were fun to watch, but I can't say I blame the guy! He was probably trying harder when he was with Kristen because he was on the lookout for another girl.

 

Totally convinced the ominous, "Now let's cheat," is foreshadowing that Kristen will show up. Whoever spots her lurking in the background wins a cookie!

[bblancobrnx]

Sandoval, opens the door to go back out into the hall, and Kristin's going to fall into the room with a glass up to her ear.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[TattleTeeny]

If my husband fucked around on me, in Vegas, I can assure you, he wouldn't be going to Vegas the next year. I think that's what it's about.

 

If my husband fucked around on me in Vegas, I wouldn't have any idea what he'd be up to the next year--or the next week for that matter; you cheat, we're done. You can find an apartment and stay in Vegas for all I care!

[KnoxForPres]

So the show spends approximately 34 minutes with ALL of the girls boo-hooing and giving ultimatums and pleading for their relationships that none of the guys go. But "bulldozers!" trumps any cheating fears. Then Lisa asks why did you let them go? And then suddenly all of the girls act like they fully trust their guys and encouraged them to go. But just in case they might cheat, let's cheat with each other, so they'll be tittilated by what they have at home. And then the guys show that they're not kissing any girls by kissing each other in reciprocal videos. Then they all gather around Skype chat in the hotel room to "prove" that they all made it back to the room safely without cheating. But then as soon as they hang up the phone, Sandoval is all "Whoo! Let's get back out there and cheat!" I presume that part was a joke, but they did leave the room and end on that cliffhanger so it's possible cheating might happen. Why do I get the feeling that we didn't see Kristin this episode only because we weren't looking hard enough. Perhaps she was behind a potted plant in da club with spy gear or at least a Whisper 2000, trying to get evidence of cheating. Sandoval, opens the door to go back out into the hall, and Kristin's going to fall into the room with a glass up to her ear.

I can't describe how hilarious the Whisper 2000 comment was. I'm glad at I was at home because I had one hell of a real laugh out loud at that!

Ya know, I guess Sandoval was joking, but if I were Ariana I wouldn't find it that funny. I saw him as lit and wanting to go on the prowl. However,as a viewer I very much liked it and hope there is some annual Vegas cheating next week.

I have such a crush on Schwartz (this goes way back) but he gets on my nerves. I hated how he was like "you'll never have to bend again" or whatever shit he said to Katie. He plays innocent and sweet when he's just making sure he gets what he wants.

I haven't ever noticed Lisa's arms before, but I honest to god stare at her boobs in every opener this season (there will never be a better opening/song for any show). And I don't even want to! It's so much....boobage in that dress.

Edited December 24, 2015 by KnoxForPres

[hatchetgirl]

 

If my husband fucked around on me in Vegas, I wouldn't have any idea what he'd be up to the next year--or the next week for that matter; you cheat, we're done. You can find an apartment and stay in Vegas for all I care!

 

LOL - well there is that...  ;)  But I know where I'd be - Europe.  :)

[lasandi]

I am feeling sorry for James because he is left out. I didn't even like James before so don't know why I care now. Never mind, it's 3 am and I think I am delirious lol totally forgot what I came in here to say.