S03.E03: Wedding Night

[psychoticstate]

Sam is obnoxious and narcissistic. The "experts" didn't pick up on that during their extensive assessments. By the way, did anyone pick up Epstein's bullshit reasoning for matching them? Neil is not assertive thus needs strong personality Sam to become more outgoing. Idiots.

 

 

 

I think Neil is assertive, he's just more mature about it and not batshit crazy (which is NOT assertive.) 

 

FWIW, I love Neil.  I LOVE Neil.  No, he's not traditionally handsome but he is kind, gentle, funny, intelligent and seems like he'd be a hoot to be around.  He's also very considerate of Sam, even after she made that brutally inane comment directly to him about not finding him attractive.  Really a mean thing to do on Day 2. As others have pointed out, I really wish Neil had told her he didn't find her attractive either but hey, we're getting a vacation out of this so let's roll with it.  I loved his footie pajamas with the Big Spoon embroidery.  I would have found it very funny and it would have lightened the mood over THE WEDDING NIGHT. 

 

I understand Vanessa's deflation.  I think I would be upset and maybe even borderline pissed if I was seriously looking for marriage, allowed some self appointed "experts" to match me up and find out that my match wasn't looking for marriage.  WTF?  Certainly makes it seem that Tres is either looking for his 15 minutes and/or the paycheck he's getting for doing this.  Vanessa doesn't seem to be so if this is indeed Tres' motivation . . . Vanessa, you in danger, girl.

 

For starting out so painful that I could barely watch, David and Ashley seem to be progressing the most normally.  I too was confused by their trip to Arizona while the other couples got St. Croix and St. John but I think the suggestions here have been right.  I would imagine with their battery of tests, the "experts" would ask what the person's ideal vacay would be.  I love the beach but I get that not everyone does.  I would never think of Arizona but if you like the desert and if it's some place that maybe you've always wanted to visit, there you go.  Personally if I was going to "honeymoon" with a stranger, I probably wouldn't want somewhere like the beach, which is designed for lounging and more down time.  I would prefer somewhere there would be a lot of activity, sightseeing, etc. so that at least you'd have things to keep you busy and topics of discussion.  I'm surprised TPTB didn't send David and Ashley to San Francisco, which isn't much further than Phoenix if you're flying - - and a gorgeous place with lots to see and do.  Or San Diego or Seattle.  But again, maybe they prefer the desert climate or have issues like asthma. 

 

Because it can't be said enough, I love Neil.

[ketose]

Yes, that's what I'm thinking, too - once he stops taking her crap and makes her realize that he's not that into her, she'll suddenly find him much more attractive.

Maybe he should invite his ex over again to gat Sam jealous.

[mythoughtis]

The Grand Canyon is only a few hours drive from Phoenix.  The one time we went, we flew into Phoenix and drove up - thru Sedona. It's beautiful. Maybe David and Ashley wanted to do that?  Haven't watched the episode yet, ,so just speculating?

[Liberty]

Resorts may be determined by who wants their property promoted as much as where do the couples indicate they want to go.  Not much is done on MAFS without promotion being a motivation.

 

Anyone remember if they used the Buccaneer in St. Croix on season 1.

[ethalfrida]

St. Croix has wonderful beaches. Clean, private, pretty. If I had known that I would have spent more time hanging out. Depending on when you go it is perfect for honeymoons. No gaudy fanfare resorts or you can rent a house/villa as we did. 

 

 

[Soup333]

I'm #TeamNeil all the way. And since I happen to have a pair of footie pajamas that are pink with white polka dots, I'd have cracked up laughing when I saw his. I did laugh as a matter of fact, and then was horrified at Sam's reaction. Especially after cringing at her behavior at their wedding. One who chews with their mouth open while making painfully awkward faces has no room to judge innocent footie pjs. 

[IvySpice]

 

I felt so bad for him when he came out in the pajamas, I would have been ROTFLMAO if he did that to me!

Seriously! That would make me way more attracted to a guy. I think Neil is adorable (now that he's lost the crazy beard). Sam the hosebeast has no excuse for treating him this way. She closed her mind and did her best to make sure that the relationship goes nowhere. What a waste.

[MsPH]

Either Sam has some mild form of Asperger's, since despite her supposedly great sense of humour, she doesn't seem to get Neil's at all, OR like someone said she just wants to be the centre of attention, the "funny one" in the relationship. It's a competition to her, so she must crap on all of Neil's attempts at humour. So childish. She's clearly been spoiled rotten, or has some mental issues that have given her a pass all her life. She was just bitchy to Neil in this episode. Everything he does is weird or wrong, when he's been nothing but kind and understanding towards her and her insanity. I felt so bad for him when she told him she doesn't find him attractive. I'm glad he has enough self-esteem to let it roll off his back, but you could still see that it hurt him. I don't find him unattractive at all either. Yeah, he's not the most classically handsome guy and his eyes are a bit creepy at times, but he's not ugly at all, and the more I see of his personlity the cuter he becomes. I'd totally date him if I was single! Her bridesmaids and mom liked him too, so it seems he's only a troll in the eyes of his new wife. Great.

 

I don't blame Vanessa for being deflated. She seemed really infatuated with him,  while on the family brunch he looked totally freaked out when his family started making plans for the future. He did NOT look like a guy who's in it for the long haul, he looked like he was searching for an exit. I don't think Vanessa noticed it then, but then when she was talking about them having things in common, he decided to tell her that he's big on partying and that hopefully she'll help him calm down. That must've been like a bucket of ice cold water for Vanessa. She doesn't seem like someone who's into the party crowd and willing to tame a player. She was expecting a stable guy who was looking to get married soon. Instead she gets a player who was apparently scouted to be on the show and saw marriage as something in the distant future with a girl he's been with for years. Nightmare. I get why the producers have resorted to scouting men, since there probably aren't many serious options applying, but I don't think it makes these pairings any better if they match women up with guys who have no real wish to marry anytime soon. I'm still hoping for the best for them, but it would take me a long time to trust Tres. I don't think she's overreacting at all.

 

I actually really liked Ashley and David in this episode. I didn't find them boring at all. I think there's some sexual tension there, since they kept giggling at each other for no real reason. I also think that the non-beachy locations are chosen for the people who don't want to prance around in a bikini on television. I can't imagine Ashley wanting to do that after what she said during the stripper situation. I don't think Davina wanted to show that much skin either, hence Colorado.

Edited December 17, 2015 by MsPH

[ralph]

I'm kind of confused about this. Shouldn't people date a lot before they get married? Do most people only date one or two people, then get married? Is Tres a player or does he just date a lot?

He just dated a lot. Vanessa is angry because like a lot of women she spent a number of years looking for very serious, non casual, marriage oriented relationships,and came to the show as a last resort, while Tres, like most men even though they DO want to get married, wasnt so serious about all of the relationships he was in. She thinks he basically only used the show for a quick marriage.

[Soup333]

I was thinking Aspergers too, with Sam. I get the wedding jitters especially considering what they were about to do, but her behavior at the reception was just way off. 

[Jack Sampson]

Either Sam has some mild form of Asperger's...

That would mean that the "experts" are just quacks who can't diagnose a very obvious mental condition. That can't possibly be the case.

 

I also think that the non-beachy locations are chosen for the people who don't want to prance around in a bikini on television. I can't imagine Ashley wanting to do that after what she said during the stripper situation. I don't think Davina wanted to show that much skin either, hence Colorado.

No way in hell Davina was going to wear even a 1920s swimdress.

Edited December 17, 2015 by Jack Sampson

[still hoping]

A couple more thoughts ....now that it was mentioned, maybe Tres did tell Vanessa that he did not apply, that he was scouted..and they just did not show it?? Like bragging?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Win lose or draw I enjoy Ashley cause I think she might be a producer's nightmare.....the one reality persona who gives them nothing....LOL

 

 she can't lose - win she and D find love - win win - family, friends, employers, and their future kids can proudly watch vids of a sweet love story

draw.....some bumps and they divorce part friends , no harm - respectful and cool

 and....if it is a "lose" ...if he turns into a nut, nasty or liar etc ...she still does not lose as she would be the innocent party

 

Plus of course they all get paid LOL

 

Smart girl. I applauded her for nixing strippers at bachelorette party....and I still do.

Various clips of lap dances, crotch in the face from other ill advised reality show participants 

*and hot tub, undercover scenese LOL ....all for posterity

90 Day fiancee's Loren is a recent example

 

I am lovin Ashley....cause I bet producers can't stand her LOL

[Snarklepuss]

Anytime anyone is socially challenged, neurotic, quirky or immature doesn't automatically mean Asperger's.  That said, I think it's possible that Sam could be one given what we've seen so far.  Women are usually much more highly functioning socially than men with it.  Because of that girls with Asperger's far more often slip through undiagnosed and even experts that aren't quacks can miss it.

Edited December 17, 2015 by Snarklepuss

[ketose]

No way in hell Davina was going to wear even a 1920s swimdress.

That's for sure. Even Cortney and Jason got into the hot tub on their freezing ski honeymoon.

 

Asperger's is really becoming the go-to diagnosis for offbeat people. I don't trust FYI editing monkeys, so I wouldn't be surprised if Sam did find it funny. I did notice, though, that Neil was more willing to "yes and" playing along with Sam's goofy stuff.

[Spiderella2]

Please do not attack me for what I'm about to say, or flag me. I have a pretty good sense of humor, but I can totally see why Sam was turned off by Neil's "onesie". Why would he do this? Because he's quirky and has a dry sense of humor? No. Because he knows he's not good looking and proceeded to commit couples suicide by immediately PUTTING HIMSELF in the "friends zone"...or child's zone, I don't know. Not all of us have to have a "manly man", but let's face it ladies...we don't want a wimp either. And if Sam didn't think it before, she sure does now with his little stunt. Put yourself in her place for a moment. This guy has nerd written all over him, and at first, second, and third glance, he's not remotely attractive. So you need to buck up (which Sam appears incapable of doing) and say I'll look past all that and try to find out where we are compatible in intelligence and personality. Then he immediately puts this picture in her mind of a grown man wearing a toddler's jammies. She's at fault, but so is he.That being said, I don't have any problems with David. I think he's kind of cute. A couple posters said he and Ashley were boring. I say Hallelujah. That makes them a REAL couple. Because most of us lead boring lives...it's just how life is. So if they can continue to grow together, I see a good chance for them.Think Vanessa overreacted to Tres last night. Like another poster said, you could almost see her deflate when he said marriage was not actually on his mind when he applied for the show (how's that again?). OK, Vanessa, be a little disappointed, but don't jump to conclusions yet. Maybe you are the woman who makes him want to commit and have a family with. I hope so. I'm keeping an open mind about Tres at this point.

Does anyone remember the note that Neil sent his bride before the wedding? In it was a comment something along the lines of "Be the little spoon to my big spoon". The onesie was just an attempt to break the ice, and followup on his earlier note. I'm sure if it had been much well received, Neil probably has a Little Spoon onesie somewhere. It was a joke. Cute, romantic, funny. If Tres had worn it, do you think Vanessa would have overreacted like that?

[spankydoll]

I have hope for Sam. She will be mortified when she sees the footage. But in her TH in the first episode she was very endearing and sweet. 

[zxy556575]

Judging by her reaction to the water, it seems like Sam's understanding of what "outdoorsy" means is the same as Monet's interpretation of "traditional."

[Lovecat]

While Neil is not my normal cup of tea the more I see of him the more I adore him, his roll with it attitude and dry sense of humor is what I love in a man so I would have totally cracked up and took it for the joke that it was. From Sam's twitter it seems she is over it too and he gave her a little spoon onsie as a wedding(I assume) gift. I have my fingers crossed that she realises how unfair she is being to Neil and opens up and gets to know him before it is too late.

 

Am I imagining things, or does that actually say "LITTE SPOON"? Either a private joke, or a misprint. And here I thought Neil was a Quality Assurance professional ;)

[SaucyMommy]

That would mean that the "experts" are just quacks who can't diagnose a very obvious mental condition. That can't possibly be the case.

No way in hell Davina was going to wear even a 1920s swimdress.

Aspergers is a complex neurological disorder and not mental disorder. I have a child with serious neurological issues - and I don't see aspergers with her at all. She's way more receptive to social queues and understands clearly how to interact with friends and family. Someone with aspergers would not. I just think she's a moron

[ctbabe]

Next week's preview

http://www.aetv.com/shows/married-at-first-sight/season-3/episode-4/preview-honeymoons-0

Sam is really killing the mood

[RedheadZombie]

I jumped on S3 this week now that WB is on hiatus. My first impression of Neil is that he's kind of creepy-looking. Maybe not unattractive, but he just has a weird face shape. Sam looks okay, but she definitely benefits from make-up.

Neil has an intense stare and doesn't blink much, so I first thought he had a serial killer vibe. He also has a dry sense of humor with a very deadpan delivery that has grown on me, but maybe doesn't jibe with Sam's more obvious slap stick style of humor. I think she suffers from a lot of anxiety in general, and she's freaking out which she shows by pushing Neil away. She seems overwhelmed by the entire process.

And if she doesn't find Neil attractive now, wait until he grows back the wild bushy beard.

[leighdear]

Asperger's is really becoming the go-to diagnosis for offbeat people. I don't trust FYI editing monkeys, so I wouldn't be surprised if Sam did find it funny. I did notice, though, that Neil was more willing to "yes and" playing along with Sam's goofy stuff.

As emotional people are quickly slapped with the "Bi-Polar" tag and undisciplined, high spirited kids are assumed to have ADHD.  I agree that they needed somebody to have a dramatic arc, so Sam was the easy target.  "Watch her go from obnoxious weirdo to loving spouse in just 3 episodes!"

 

I'm still on the fence with Tres.  Vanessa seemed so completely enamored with him until she realized he hadn't been sitting home at nights filling up a Pinterest board with pins of his perfect wedding.  Then she hit that bitch button REALLY fast.  And that fake "I've just lost my appetite" thing was SO passive-aggressive when she realized he wasn't going to apologize for having a social life.  She seems way too overwrought and clingy to me at this point.

[Neurochick]

As emotional people are quickly slapped with the "Bi-Polar" tag and undisciplined, high spirited kids are assumed to have ADHD.  I agree that they needed somebody to have a dramatic arc, so Sam was the easy target.  "Watch her go from obnoxious weirdo to loving spouse in just 3 episodes!"

 

I'm still on the fence with Tres.  Vanessa seemed so completely enamored with him until she realized he hadn't been sitting home at nights filling up a Pinterest board with pins of his perfect wedding.  Then she hit that bitch button REALLY fast.  And that fake "I've just lost my appetite" thing was SO passive-aggressive when she realized he wasn't going to apologize for having a social life.  She seems way too overwrought and clingy to me at this point.

 

I agree.  First, just because people act differently that what is perceived as normal, doesn't mean they have a syndrome or a disease.  

 

Second, I don't get Vanessa; I really don't think it's too healthy for an adult to sit around dreaming of what their wedding will be like.  Maybe Vanessa has a syndrome or a disease (see what I did there? LOL.)

[operalover]

Sam should have said "I'm not feeling a spark" or "I don't feel chemistry with you" instead of "I am not PHYSICALLY attracted to you" Just plain Mean!! You would get the idea by saying I don't feel a spark. That was all she needed to say, way less insulting.

She is no ten herself. I think the way she pops her eyes out is not physically attractive. Good luck with this biatch, Neil.

[SaucyMommy]

I agree.  First, just because people act differently that what is perceived as normal, doesn't mean they have a syndrome or a disease.  

 

Second, I don't get Vanessa; I really don't think it's too healthy for an adult to sit around dreaming of what their wedding will be like.  Maybe Vanessa has a syndrome or a disease (see what I did there? LOL.)

 

Right. I was actually surprised in this episode when she seemingly went from really liking Tres to reacting the way she did about his dating life. I think it's unrealistic to assume any of us were sitting at home before we were married. I DATED a ton before marriage. A LOT. I moved around and had lots of dates, but when I met my husband - I was like - well I'm ready now. It just takes the right person some time. I literally saw the hope and fantasy drain out of her face and she had a serious bitch face. I think the magnitude of the experiment has gotten to her and the OH SHIT what did I get in to has taken over. It's more than likely anxiety than anything else at this point. At least that is my hope!

[qtpye]

Both Sam and Neil are a little on the odd looking side.  The difference is that Neil gets more attractive the more you get to know him...not so much with Sam.  When I first saw the bios (before this season started) I thought with his googly eyes and her beady eyes, they might have a kid with nice normal eyes (as you can tell I am an expert in this field...sarcasm).  It sort of the way season one Courtney had too little of a chin (though she was pretty) was combined with large chinned Jason, might even each other out in the offspring.

 

Yes, I think about stupid things.

[SaucyMommy]

Both Sam and Neil are a little on the odd looking side.  The difference is that Neil gets more attractive the more you get to know him...not so much with Sam.  When I first saw the bios (before this season started) I thought with his googly eyes and her beady eyes, they might have a kid with nice normal eyes (as you can tell I am an expert in this field...sarcasm).  It sort of the way season one Courtney had too little of a chin (though she was pretty) was combined with large chinned Jason, might even each other out in the offspring.

 

Yes, I think about stupid things.

 

 I can attest to the chin thing that it does offset in offspring - that is me and my husband to a T :) 

[moonxyz]

Right. I was actually surprised in this episode when she seemingly went from really liking Tres to reacting the way she did about his dating life. I think it's unrealistic to assume any of us were sitting at home before we were married. I DATED a ton before marriage. A LOT. I moved around and had lots of dates, but when I met my husband - I was like - well I'm ready now. It just takes the right person some time. I literally saw the hope and fantasy drain out of her face and she had a serious bitch face. I think the magnitude of the experiment has gotten to her and the OH SHIT what did I get in to has taken over. It's more than likely anxiety than anything else at this point. At least that is my hope!

 

I think the bigger issue for her is Tres' intentions. I have the feeling that during the dinner, he was upfront about being recruited for the show while she actually actively sought out marriage. Coupled with the fact that she thinks he is a player (there a rumors that a mutual friend told Vanessa about his lifestyle weeks before getting married), makes her have doubts. I don't blame her

 

Vanessa is very serious about the whole thing. Just like Neil and David. I think Tres doesn't have the same level of committment. I sensed that on episode 1, even before he spoke about sleeping around. 

Edited December 17, 2015 by moonxyz

[PityFree]

Sam is a horrible, thoughtless wench. 

[Neurochick]

I'm confused about Vanessa because I always thought that most people, unless they met "the one" when they were young, dated a lot before marriage.  If a man dates a lot of women, why is he a player?  Doesn't it make sense to date around?  

[BunnySlippers]

Her bridesmaids and mom liked him too, so it seems he's only a troll in the eyes of his new wife. Great.

 

...

 

 I also think that the non-beachy locations are chosen for the people who don't want to prance around in a bikini on television. I can't imagine Ashley wanting to do that after what she said during the stripper situation. I don't think Davina wanted to show that much skin either, hence Colorado.

When Sam told Neil that her father loved him, her family loved him, her friends loved him, I had a flashback to a scene in "While You Were Sleeping," where Peter tells Lucy, "My family loves you. l might as well love you." I was sort of hoping that Sam would at least come to the same decision, but no.

 

Good point about Ashley. I bet you're right, and she didn't want to be shown in a bikini on television.

 

About Tres, well, we'll see how things will go from here, but at least he was honest with Vanessa.

[okerry]

I'm confused about Vanessa because I always thought that most people, unless they met "the one" when they were young, dated a lot before marriage.  If a man dates a lot of women, why is he a player?  Doesn't it make sense to date around?  

I think that to a lot of folks, "dating a lot" is one thing - you're giving each person a chance and probably seeing them at least a few times before deciding whether or not it'll turn into something long term. That's different from being a player, which is just racking up a scorecard and seeing how many one-night stands you can get. I think Vanessa would be okay with Tres having "dated a lot," but not with him being a player.

[MsPH]

I think that to a lot of folks, "dating a lot" is one thing - you're giving each person a chance and probably seeing them at least a few times before deciding whether or not it'll turn into something long term. That's different from being a player, which is just racking up a scorecard and seeing how many one-night stands you can get. I think Vanessa would be okay with Tres having "dated a lot," but not with him being a player.

 

Exactly. How you view Tres is mostly based on whether or not you believe he just "dated a lot". I don't think he did, since he himself mentioned his partying ways. He strikes me as the kind of guy who picks up girls from clubs every other night and never sees them again. That's not dating, let alone dating with the purpose of having a long-term relationship. That's having lots of casual sex, which is unappealing to me and apparently to Vanessa as well.

[announcergirl]

I think the bigger issue for her is Tres' intentions.

 

 

I think you're right. I would say though, who cares how he got there, he's there. He married her and seems really into her. The trick for her will be keeping the sexual tension. Unlike the women he's used to, if she holds out on sex and let's him keep learning her and calling her his wife, he may just fall.

 

 

Anytime anyone is socially challenged, neurotic, quirky or immature doesn't automatically mean Asperger's. 

RIGHT! That damn girl ain't got no Asberger's. She's just rude as hell and a little too into herself. He really should have said, "I can understand that. You're not what I was expecting either." Her ego would have been crushed and she would have then seen him as having the upper hand. When really, he might have only meant that he expected someone a little kinder.

 

 

 

Maybe he should invite his ex over again to gat Sam jealous.

Now this, inviting the ex and explaining how she knows all about me, THAT would be my concern. I didn't like that shit at all.

[Snarklepuss]

Ditto on Tres being a player, defined as being one who is a hook-up/one night stand artist versus someone who's "dated" a lot.  I learned what a player is long ago from Fleetwood Mac lyrics:  "Players only love you when they're playing".  Also from the street in NYC when I was young.  This definition of "player" from urban dictionary sums it up nicely:

 

 

A male who is skilled at manipulating ("playing") others, and especially at seducing women by pretending to care about them, when in reality they are only interested in sex. Possibly derived from the phrases "play him for a fool", or "play him like a violin". The term was popularized by hip-hop culture, but was commonly recognized among urban American blacks by the 1970s.

Edited December 17, 2015 by Snarklepuss

[suzeecat]

Of course the show will never touch on this, but keep in mind that these kids have been under incredible, intense stress for at least two weeks, quite possibly longer.  Add to that they probably didn't get any sleep the night before their wedding, the night of the wedding, or the couple of nights after that.  Their lives are virtually turned upside down; put them on a plane and plop them in the middle of a distant location with a virtual stranger (and camera crew) and chances are they're going to be a little crabby.  I know I would.  I would expect their minds to clear a bit after they're back home and can get a little caught up on sleep.

[Nancybeth]

Of course the show will never touch on this, but keep in mind that these kids have been under incredible, intense stress for at least two weeks, quite possibly longer.  Add to that they probably didn't get any sleep the night before their wedding, the night of the wedding, or the couple of nights after that.  Their lives are virtually turned upside down; put them on a plane and plop them in the middle of a distant location with a virtual stranger (and camera crew) and chances are they're going to be a little crabby.  I know I would.  I would expect their minds to clear a bit after they're back home and can get a little caught up on sleep.

Definitely THIS.  Last season it was made even worse because they came home from their honeymoons and it was the holidays!  Navigating Christmas and New Years is hard for a lot of couples because of competing family obligations, even more so in their first year together and especially if they just freaking met!  By the time all that was out of the way the "social experiment" was halfway over.  I think 6 weeks is too short.

[Kiss my mutt]

It was totally unnecessary for Sam to tell Neil she didn't find him attractive. I think it was fairly obvious. Gawd, that was so callous.

I can totally get not wanting to go to a beach destination and have to expose your body on tv and for me, even to a new, previously unmet husband.

David is growing on me but he's about two cheeseburgers away from being portly. Ashley redeemed herself this episode. I know longer want to slap her!

Vanessa and tres both seem pretty immature. She kept waffling about whether or not to sleep with him that first night, I'm glad they didn't.

It was nice to see the families get along. I definitely like this group better than season two.

[Pepper Mostly]

I agree. Taking this show on the road was a smart move.

[Adeejay]

I think the bigger issue for her is Tres' intentions. I have the feeling that during the dinner, he was upfront about being recruited for the show while she actually actively sought out marriage. Coupled with the fact that she thinks he is a player (there a rumors that a mutual friend told Vanessa about his lifestyle weeks before getting married), makes her have doubts.

 

I am confused.  How did a "mutual friend" know to warn Vanessa about Tres' lifestyle weeks before they got married?  I was under the impression that the bride and groom met for the first time at the altar. 

[moonxyz]

I am confused.  How did a "mutual friend" know to warn Vanessa about Tres' lifestyle weeks before they got married?  I was under the impression that the bride and groom met for the first time at the altar. 

 

It's a rumor. I could be false. Who knows?

Edited December 17, 2015 by moonxyz

[Jack Sampson]

I think you're right. I would say though, who cares how he got there, he's there. He married her and seems really into her. The trick for her will be keeping the sexual tension. Unlike the women he's used to, if she holds out on sex and let's him keep learning her and calling her his wife, he may just fall.

If she wants to hold out on sex she signed up for the wrong game show. Only time that worked was with that chump Doug in S1 - no way Tres is waiting longer than 10 days.

[WhoAmIReally]

Expect the bouquet flowers from Costco/Trader Joe's, mushy cards, Pandora bracelet with the wedding/honeymoon depicted in charms(too many Christmas commercials) and the double dates with frat brothers and their wives at Dave and Buster's.

LMFAO.  You have a real read on this couple.  Blandest of the bland, and exactly the type who would fall for the grosteque Pandora charms.

[psychoticstate]

I think the bigger issue for her is Tres' intentions. I have the feeling that during the dinner, he was upfront about being recruited for the show while she actually actively sought out marriage. Coupled with the fact that she thinks he is a player (there a rumors that a mutual friend told Vanessa about his lifestyle weeks before getting married), makes her have doubts. I don't blame her

 

Vanessa is very serious about the whole thing. Just like Neil and David. I think Tres doesn't have the same level of committment. I sensed that on episode 1, even before he spoke about sleeping around. 

 

I absolutely agree with this.  I don't think Vanessa is upset because she's been hoarding Bride magazines and planning her wedding since she was 8.  I think she's upset because she assumed she would be matched and married to a man who wanted to get married.  To find out that Tres didn't sign up for the show because he was looking to get married would be devastating.  Add that to the stress of just marrying a stranger, leaving for your honeymoon and doing this in front of a camera crew and I'm surprised Vanessa didn't start crying.  I think she has every right to be upset.

 

If she is thinking clearly, she will not have sex with Tres until they really get to know one another and she's sure he's committed.  Otherwise, if he is a player, he'll be out at the end of six weeks, I think.

 

p.s. - It's possible that her friends Googled his ass after the ceremony and filled her in the next day.  I'd sure want to know.

Edited December 18, 2015 by psychoticstate

[Jack Sampson]

If she is thinking clearly, she will not have sex with Tres until they really get to know one another and she's sure he's committed.  Otherwise, if he is a player, he'll be out at the end of six weeks, I think.

Not committed? The dude married her. How much more of a commitment could she expect? If she wanted an extended courtship, during which Tres proved his undying fidelity, she should have signed up for a different show.

At this point, she either follows through with her marriage - and that includes a physical relationship - or not. But the dude has already shown more commitment to her than any other man in her life.

[MsPH]

Not committed? The dude married her. How much more of a commitment could she expect? If she wanted an extended courtship, during which Tres proved his undying fidelity, she should have signed up for a different show.

At this point, she either follows through with her marriage - and that includes a physical relationship - or not. But the dude has already shown more commitment to her than any other man in her life.

 

I don't think most of these people view this marriage as that big of a commitment. The option to end it after their TV time is up is built into the show format. Sure it's a divorce, but for people from broken homes, it's often not that big of a deal. I'm sure the fame and paycheck is well worth becoming a divorcé for most of these people. They're all just dating at this point, even if more intensely than usual. She doesn't owe him sex until she feels comfortable with it, no one does. I too hope she holds out until he shows he's really interested. So far it seems to me like his interest has been declining, but maybe it's just the stress of the situation hitting him.

[ketose]

As emotional people are quickly slapped with the "Bi-Polar" tag and undisciplined, high spirited kids are assumed to have ADHD.  I agree that they needed somebody to have a dramatic arc, so Sam was the easy target.  "Watch her go from obnoxious weirdo to loving spouse in just 3 episodes!"

I grew up before ADD, let alone ADHD. I actually had a note in my Kindergarten report card that I would daydream a lot. This was when they didn't drug you up, however. I still have a tendency to skip to different tasks, but my job pretty much forces me into that position anyway.

[Squirrely]

What about Sam makes anyone think she'll regret her behavior or be embarrassed? So far she's exhibited zero self-awareness. Self-aware people do not tell their new husbands they're not attractive in private, let alone in front of cameras!

Ya know, I was not remotely attracted to my husband when we met, and for months after. We had mutual friends and knew each other for months and it never would have crossed my mind for a second...until he made a move. Obviously he changed my mind, and here we are 16 years later. This is how it could end up being for Ashley. He's winning her over and being her friend, and her reaction just may surprise her when he finally lays one on her. Or not, who knows.

But Sam is setting herself up for certain failure with her attitude and rudeness. Hell, I hope she doesn't change because Neil will surely get sick of it, and he can do so much better!

[Snarklepuss]

I don't think most of these people view this marriage as that big of a commitment. The option to end it after their TV time is up is built into the show format. Sure it's a divorce, but for people from broken homes, it's often not that big of a deal. I'm sure the fame and paycheck is well worth becoming a divorcé for most of these people. They're all just dating at this point, even if more intensely than usual. She doesn't owe him sex until she feels comfortable with it, no one does. I too hope she holds out until he shows he's really interested. So far it seems to me like his interest has been declining, but maybe it's just the stress of the situation hitting him.

 

I'm getting the impression, especially this season so far, that you're right that these couples are taking an "Oh well, if it doesn't work there's always divorce" attitude, like it's no biggie if that happens.  I'm not sure if that's because they're trying not to freak out at the enormity of it all and are saying that so they feel less pressure to make things work, or because they really aren't ready for a commitment.  Then again we're seeing an unusual situation.  Commitment to a person usually comes before marriage, but this show does the opposite and puts marriage before commitment, at least before the commitment one feels in one's heart towards another person.  Being externally committed by the institution of marriage is different than the commitment one feels in one's heart.  Just because one is committed on paper doesn't mean they should or even can also feel it in their heart.  No matter what the paper says they still need the time to develop true feelings of commitment toward each other, which may or may not happen.  So until then of course they're not going to act like real married couples and will tend to look "not ready" for a commitment - You don't just marry anyone when you're ready for a commitment, you marry one particular person as opposed to a different one.  And if you just marry just anyone, (pretty much like these people have done), you aren't going to look or feel especially committed in the beginning until (hopefully) those feelings grow.  I've always said this show puts the cart before the horse.

 

Not committed? The dude married her. How much more of a commitment could she expect? If she wanted an extended courtship, during which Tres proved his undying fidelity, she should have signed up for a different show.

At this point, she either follows through with her marriage - and that includes a physical relationship - or not. But the dude has already shown more commitment to her than any other man in her life.

 

That commitment Tres has shown is only worth the ink on the marriage contract at this point and would be easily gotten out of, so so much for that.  Women especially often need time before they're ready to have sex with someone.  Women want to feel right about someone before they have sex if they're looking for a long term relationship with them.  I can understand Vanessa wanting to wait until her reservations about Tres pass.  Men are different, of course, but if Tres really likes Vanessa and thinks he might want a future with her, he'll wait longer than is normally comfortable for him.  If not, then he's just a freaking player and not worth her time anyway.

[Jack Sampson]

But Sam is setting herself up for certain failure with her attitude and rudeness. Hell, I hope she doesn't change because Neil will surely get sick of it, and he can do so much better!

I blame Neil for some of her behavior. She started Shyt-testing him almost immediately and he just took it. No come back, no reaction other than passive agreement.

With people like Sam, that's an open invitation to keep escalating. I doubt she'd be acting nearly as bad if Neil had been firm with her in the beginning. And it's not like he wasn't warned.

There's no way I would stay with her - she has no redeeming qualities or looks to offset the attitude - but, if I stayed for the honeymoon, I definitely wouldn't have let her comments pass.