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S04.E03: Pretty Little Lies


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Scheana and Katie pick on Lala for lying about a modeling gig in Italy. Meanwhile, Scheana discovers her husband has been keeping secrets; Jax and James compete for Lala's affection; and Tom Schwartz takes a big step toward commitment.

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Lisa Vanderbucks is such an amazing businesswoman. Who else would decide to make Pump's signature drink available at SUR and put up with Jax's nasty attitude? Did they show us things out of sequence b/c I could have sworn I saw Jax tell her husband he quit, followed by the bartender from PUMP showing them (and Jax) how to make his lame signature drinks. Also telling was Lisa Vanderbucks not firing Lala on the spot for lieing about her "modeling gig" and pulling a Shwartie and running home to her mommy.

  • Love 2
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Anyone notice the excessive amount of ginormous wedding pictures (and even a painting of Scheana!!) that were everywhere in that apartment? Homegirl literally has a shrine to herself. Narcicissm much? Also, sooooo creepy.

Edited by fliptopbox
  • Love 15
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I feel like we need Dr. Drew or someone picture-in-picture giving color commentary psychoanalysis on everyone throughout this entire episode:

• Jax so threatened about this other bartender in some alpha male pissing contest...and here comes Ken with his "bigger cock" as per Lisa, ugh.

• Lala's entire self worth seems externally driven with her alleged prostitution, naked Instagram pictures for validation, and crying to mom (and Lisa) when two coworkers figured out her "modeling job" includes blow jobs or at least hand jobs. And how does she explain this to her mother?!

• Scheana and Shay--straight to Celebrity Rehab for Shay and Al-Anon for Scheana

• Schwartz's commitment issues

• Kristin and James's talk in which neither trusts the other and they both think the other is cheating because they think the other is projecting cheating on them because s/he is cheating...and it's true (at least for James).

• Jax and Lala both admitting their ongoing issues with rushing into dysfunctional relationships--and Lala saying they'll be dating in 10 minutes. Oh, dear, she might be worse than Vail. (And where's Jax's girlfriend that he imported from Kentucky?)

• Lisa being "riddled with problems" because she needs to insert herself in everyone else's problems. Even her swan is all droopy-necked. (Sad trombone)

• Scheana not speaking to Shay in 4 days and yet her #1 priority is upgrading to another band of diamonds. Good call, Sandoval. And good call on her harping on him being an alcoholic is perpetuating the cycle and he's off drinking somewhere. Sandoval seems to have the clearest perspective out of the bunch.

• Lala now has a crush on James? This is not an improvement over Jax...well, anyone is better than Jax.

• Oh, hey, Peter, dropping off a drink in a three-second walk-by. I guess you're okay. Carry on. Oh, and keep on movin' before Lala sinks her talons in you. Then again, it will be Vail Take Two because you seem like a nice guy and these girls never like the nice guys--go find yourself a nice girl.

• 5 Vicodin chased with several glasses of wine every day. And now missing and out of contact for days. Yes, Scheana, you are too self-centered to see what's going on in your home. I'm guessing she did get some therapy before filming that talking head.

• And bonus previews of next week's need for psychoanalysis include an ACTUAL therapist for Kristin and James, the Toms acting as therapists for a Shay and Scheana intervention, and Lala potentially in hoochie mode

  • Love 13
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I didn't really buy Lisa's shock. "WHAT, pills with alcohol?" "Five a DAY?" For someone who claims, albeit jokingly, to not remember the 80s, and who was temporarily friends with Brandi Glanville, it seems a bit naive.

Who does she think she's fooling?!?

And we can add Kim Richards and all the pals she's hob nobbed with nightly at Ken's clubs to your list.

Edited by Petunia13
  • Love 8
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Why is it every time she meets her employees, master businesswoman Lisa Vanderbucks either has a bone to pick or is butting into their business?

When Schemer was talking about her problems to Katie, who was the girl in the background, leaning over the dresser?

And who gets an engagement ring from someone's apartment living room?

  • Love 1
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I didn't really buy Lisa's shock. "WHAT, pills with alcohol?" "Five a DAY?" For someone who claims, albeit jokingly, to not remember the 80s, and who was temporarily friends with Brandi Glanville, it seems a bit naive.

I wonder if the shock (while likely played up for the cameras) had more to do with the idea that Shay was the one combining the alcohol and pills?

This episode was not very enjoyable. It was pretty sad, for me. Jax and James as creepers, and not even funny creepers. Reminders of Schwartz's anxieties. Scheana's non-fake-seeming tears. Lala the "arm candy," who fakety-fakes and boo-hoos about hurt feewings. I feel like I have to go rewatch season 1 ep 1--which I just rewatched--to get my eyeroll-inducing fill of flat irons, "hot" staff, and OTT Stassi comebacks.

Oh wait. We did see an "enthusiastic" Kristina. So there was that.

Edited by ivygirl
  • Love 5
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Well I guess we all know now what Scheana's story line is this season (Kim Richards reverse ripoff).

LisaV rescuing "animals" of all kind. And putting her "staff" back in line.

Jax just as gross as always.

James screwing over the crazy girlfriend. (Seriously how would anyone find this skinny stupid guy desirable?).

I still would not like any of these people touching a drink or plate of food coming to my table.

  • Love 4
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My favorite part of the episode was Lisa's goose. What was his name? Hanky or something? Yeah guess that says something about this group if the goose was the best part. I bet that goose is smarter and cleaner than all the VP cast put together.

Edited by BogoGog24
  • Love 10
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What is with sociopathic James? He's only agreeing to therapy with Kristen for a storyline, but I'm pretty sure that Kristen doesn't know that. At some point he must have cared for her. This feels especially cruel.

Poor poor Scheana. Why do the worst things seem to happen to her? If only she wasn't an out of control narcissist, she might have noticed that the other half of her amazing relationship was miserable.

Were the SUR girls being nasty to Lala? Eh, maybe. But Lala is a by her own implication a prostitute. Like if you're going to imply that, you should freaking own it.

As we've seen, none of these chucklefucks is remotely professional. So I find it laughable that Jax would be indignant and huffy about being retrained. Also in my experience, places that aren't bar bars can't make drinks. Their bartenders can make the restaurant's signature drinks and like a basic rum and coke, but anything that's not on the menu and requires real skills and knowledge is not something they can do.

  • Love 8
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This episode, and the season in general, has been waaaay too Lisa-heavy for me. Lisa, save your drama for people your own age on the RHBH. And take your short, aggressive, lapel-grabbing, too-many-buttons-open-on-a-button-down-shirt, ancient husband with you. The mice will only play if the cat's away, and you, Lisa, are the cat.

Shouldn't Lisa be more upset at Lala's lying, rather than at the girls' reaction to her lie?

This epi was kind of a snooze, and I think it's cause we're missing a huge piece of the Scheanna-Shay story. She even said in a TH that she was keeping some things to herself. Girl, you are on a reality show! You're responsible for rounding out your narrative. If it's too personal, keep it off the show, but you're not doing the viewer any favors by boo-hooing that Shay's self-medicating, but not telling us what he's self-medicating for!

And I'm with the others up thread who don't believe this overreaction to five Vicodin a day with wine. Five vikes with wine sounds like a repressed 1950s housewife to me. I bet half this cast regularly dabbles in pills and alcohol. Have we met Jax? (And James and Lala?) And are we to think Kristen, who is sitting home all day working on t-shirts, only imbibes one glass of red wine per day, for the antioxidants? Nah, I'm betting that if Shay has a problem that's so bad he's basically abandoned his wife, he's probably tossing back 20-30 Vicodins a day, along with assorted benzos. And that was not wine he was chugging in the flashback to Scheanna's birthday. Drug addiction in Hollywood is usually pretty sordid.

I think Scheanna's used the word 'literally' four times this episode. She clearly has no idea how to use this word.

This is the first episode in a long time that my gaydar has not pinged for the Toms. And they were also sorta likable. Schwartz actually turned what could have been a douche-worthy moment into a classy experience when he didn't flirt with the girls he was modeling with, and actually talked to one of them about proposing to Katie.

  • Love 13
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You guys. Where to start!?

LaLa--that lipstick shade just screams Seventeen Magazine/Clinique lipstick back to school edition circa 1996. Honey, NO ONE wears brown shades. NO ONE. Her foundation and eyeshadow are also off. Her look so screams "out of touch escort that is trashy not classy". Speaking of out of touch escorts and trashy not classy...

Sheana, did she get that headboard from a Bobby Trendy wholesale warehouse in "West Hollywood"?? I swear I saw Anna Nicole and Howard K Stern take a knife to a similar one back in the day. And THOSE PICS. Whoa...just bc it's on Groupon does NOT mean you should buy it. If I had to stare at jumbo staged wedding pics on all my walls, I would probably flee the house, get drunk and never come home too. I mean, if I even had to sit in there 10 minutes, I would need a Xanax. Or a bottle of wine. Or Fireball. Or Vicodin, Xanax AND wine AND Fireball. FREAK -EE.

Jax, jealous much? Also, pretty sure that he must have been punched in the face as a catalyst for this most recent nose job. The scar above his eyebrow? What is that? Also, why was he sitting out back eating like that? All casual and nasty? I got the impression he was probably eating cocktail cherries and blue cheese stuffed olives he stole from the bar fruit tray.

OK--So, Shwartz has a thing for Asian guys or vice versa, bc he was definitely "outed" by two different ones that openly mocked him getting married.

James. James. James. Keep it real, bro. Those DJ dreams are coming true. Maybe one day he can get a DJ gig at Planet Hollywood, or whatever casino Lisa's friend owns and have his very own "Vegas Girl" controversy next season. I'm calling it now, actually.

Edited by starrynola
  • Love 9
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I haven't watched the full episode yet (20 min in).

I just had to share, I recently turned 44, and found out I have to wear eyeglasses/spectacles for driving, watching tv, anything more than a few feet away from me.

I got the glasses and have have pretty much ignored those instructions and have done just fine sans eyeglasses, EXCEPT... I had DH is rollicking stitches because apparently when the screen flashed "Kristen's Apartment" tonight, I grabbed my new glasses off the ottoman and put them on. I wouldn't have even known that if DH hadn't told me.

Love you and your particular brand of crazy, Kristen! I wish I could wear cutoffs as well as you! James, you've become such a little prick and I'd tell you to fxck yourself, but who wants to fxck such a skinny little pipsqueak.

Edited by Shelby
  • Love 6
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Yes her home is ridiculous with the pics and the satin headboard etc. I do have to say I feel bad for her. She's pretty insufferable but this is bad.

 

But it kinda suits her perfectly.  Like if you really think about it, that whole situation makes perfect sense for Scheana.  

  • Love 8
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I wonder how Shay feels about Scheana putting all of his business out on the street.  I'd probably wash my vikes down with booze too if I lived with Scheana.  

 

If Katie and Scheana's mediocre mean girl routine is enough to make Lala run home crying to her mommy, she should probably get off this show -- can you imagine how shit would have went down if Stassi was still around?   And maybe stop admitting to sucking dick for vacations if it upsets her so much when people talk about it.  Her makeup is really hard looking.  I wonder if she is just doing it like that for TV

 

FI was so awesome asking Scheana how long it's been since she talked to Shay while she was babbling about adding diamonds to her ring.  I loved the slight hint of shit eating grin.

 

I wished I paid attention to commercials enough to see Schwartz peddling Modelo.  i enjoyed his little talk with the model about proposing.  

  • Love 11
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I have never seen any connection/fireworks between Scheana and Shay. I think it's so clear that the wedding was all for show and not love. I am I surprised though that they're already looking like they're headed for divorce so the show can drop old boring Shay and get Scheana out and around and single again and partying with her friends. This storyline seems so transparent to me.

  • Love 3
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Anyone notice the excessive amount of ginormous wedding pictures (and even a painting of Scheana!!) that were everywhere in that apartment? Homegirl literally has a shrine to herself. Narcicissm much? Also, sooooo creepy.

Yes! Was that a painting?  I couldn't tell.  I will need to go back and zoom in on that masterpiece.  Scheana's bedroom is totally shameless and totally all-encompassing.  For a moment, I was actually convinced by the aesthetic, like she maybe has a super-sophisticated take on things. Craziness.

 

Also, what's the deal with the celeb interference?  I realize Bravo is all-terrain but the griminess of VR should not be disturbed by the blessed hands of the legit.     

OK, help me--when did this happen, I must have missed it?

Yes please!

  • Love 2
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Were the SUR girls being nasty to Lala? Eh, maybe. But Lala is a by her own implication a prostitute. Like if you're going to imply that, you should freaking own it.

As we've seen, none of these chucklefucks is remotely professional. So I find it laughable that Jax would be indignant and huffy about being retrained. Also in my experience, places that aren't bar bars can't make drinks. Their bartenders can make the restaurant's signature drinks and like a basic rum and coke, but anything that's not on the menu and requires real skills and knowledge is not something they can do.

Why didn't super businesswoman Lisa Vanderbucks fire Lala for lieing to her and stupidly revealing she's even flakier than Schwartzie, and prone to running home to cry to her mommy without notice?

 

I found it odd that business mastermind Lisa Vanderbucks was suddenly interested in the staff at SUR acting professionally and dragged them all to PUMP (shameless plug!) for training from a brown-noser who worked there. OMG! Did I hear him offer to impregnate one of the waitresses he was training?

 

Please tell me that Seth Rogan did not actually film with the cast of Vanderpump Rules. It was all spliced and CGI'd, right? Loved his branding line.

OK, that was amusing but who the hell were the others? Were they all costars of that crappy movie he's in?

 

Why was Lisa Vanderbucks carrying that swan around instead of directly going home with it from the vet?

Edited by Ubiquitous
  • Love 5
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Oh poor Lala (I can't with that name)! She gets called out for being a whore, which she totally is, and her fee-fees get so hurt that instead of going to Venice for this fabulous trip, she's so upset that she has to call her mommy.

Oh. Please.

She's a skank who has to go crying to Lisa, rather than dealing with Katie and Scheana head-on, like an adult.

  • Love 7
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What was up with Scheana's hair when she was in her bedroom talking to Katie?  It looked short.  Was it put up or does she really have short hair and wears massive extensions?I don't even know what they were talking about in that scene because I kept concentrating on trying to figure her hair out......and then I fell asleep.  I have no idea what happened towards the end of the show, lol.

  • Love 3
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Okay, let me preface this by saying I do not care for Lala. Her name is stupid, and lying to your new boss is stupid, and anyone that even halfway puts a move on Jax is stupid. However, Lisa is 100% right in calling Katie and Scheana out for their treatment of her. Unless Lala is screwing up at her job left and right or goes after one of them, they have no reason to take issue with her. They're just being mean girls, and I find it very hypocritical of Scheana, considering she was once on the other end of that deal. If you want to talk smack about her back at your apartments, go right ahead. But bothering her at work just makes you look petty and jealous. 

 

That being said, it's completely ridiculous of Lala to act like she was SO upset by their questioning that she had to fly "home" and miss her big trip to Italy over it. I've never been out of the country. So if I had a chance to go to Europe, I would just pack my tissues and put on my big girl panties and go. 

 

I don't know what's got Shay so upset, since we haven't heard his side at all yet, but I can see him feeling totally dismissed and unappreciated in that relationship. It's the Scheana show, and it probably has been from the start. Everything is always about her. Maybe he tends toward depression normally. Maybe it has gotten worse since she's become "the star" of the show, and is probably paying even less attention to him than normal. I can totally see him being upset for awhile and her not even noticing. She seems very self involved to me. I don't know, I could be totally off base, but I'm just going on what little I have to go on. All in all, it makes me feel sad for Shay. If he is dealing with serious depression and addiction, Scheana shouldn't be using that as a storyline. They should exit the show and get him help. 

 

Seeing Schwartz be all proud of himself for finally being ready to commit is kind of cute and kind of ridiculous at the same time. I find it very coincidental that he just happened to be "ready" when they're filming. 

  • Love 11
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(And where's Jax's girlfriend that he imported from Kentucky?)

 

Now, now....Jax was very clear to say he wouldn't go so far as to call her his "girlfriend" yet. 

 

He only does that when they're moving him in and completely bankrolling his lifestyle of plastic surgery and chunky sweaters. 

 

This is the first episode in a long time that my gaydar has not pinged for the Toms. And they were also sorta likable.

 

My favorite part of the episode was when they were hanging outside on the couches together. A metrosexual King of the Hill, if you will. They just strike me as having a very authentic friendship, and being very comfortable with one another. I find them adorable. 

  • Love 11
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What was up with Scheana's hair when she was in her bedroom talking to Katie? It looked short. Was it put up or does she really have short hair and wears massive extensions?I don't even know what they were talking about in that scene because I kept concentrating on trying to figure her hair out......and then I fell asleep. I have no idea what happened towards the end of the show, lol.

LOL, first VPR ever where I paused it on Tivo roughly 30 min in because I couldn't stay up any longer and had to go to bed.

I'll watch the ep when I get home from work tonight.

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he's probably tossing back 20-30 Vicodins a day, along with assorted benzos. And that was not wine he was chugging in the flashback to Scheanna's birthday. Drug addiction in Hollywood is usually pretty sordid.

This so much right here. 5 vikes a day? Even the responsible functioning tv addict Dr. House was taking way more vikes than that...and treating patients. Probably more like 5 OC 80's a day if we are talking about an addiction that has truly changed Shay's personality as Scheana is leading us to believe.

The scar above his eyebrow? What is that?

That has gotta be part of the nose job. They must have needed to insert or remove something and that is where they got the access from

Edited by bblancobrnx
  • Love 4
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CreamedPeas, on 17 Nov 2015 - 04:52 AM, said:

I have never seen any connection/fireworks between Scheana and Shay. I think it's so clear that the wedding was all for show and not love. I am I surprised though that they're already looking like they're headed for divorce so the show can drop old boring Shay and get Scheana out and around and single again and partying with her friends. This storyline seems so transparent to me.

 

Being that they've been shown together (as in just the 2 of them, not in a group setting) probably a total of 10 minutes over the last few seasons, I don't know that we can fairly ascertain that their relationship was based on show-mance, and not love. 

 

Now Tom and Ariana...  sure.  James and Kristen?  Oh hell yes. But Shay ....  he's always been more in the background and doesn't seem to seek the limelight the way that many of these other CFs do. IDK - just my opinion, of course. 

 

That being said, I am sorta RME at this whole "drug"/troubled marriage storyline.  Just not fully buying what they are selling. Seems like a very exaggerated storyline.  Like, maybe he took some Advil and had a beer one day...  and they took that and ran with it.    

  • Love 8
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This so much right here. 5 vikes a day? Even the responsible functioning tv addict Dr. House was taking way more vikes than that...and treating patients. Probably more like 5 OC 80's a day if we are talking about an addiction that has truly changed Shay's personality as Scheana is leading us to believe.

 

Agreed, Oxy is the preferred closet-opiate-addict drug to most convincingly live like a shadow.  Also no way he's disappearing over five vics.  I wonder how long this has been the case.  I feel like it's been since day one.  

  • Love 4
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I'm convinced Lisa opens restaurants just to have a staff available to speak to like they're four year olds. I mean, I know they suck but LV's condescension isn't as humorous as she thinks. And what was with all her 'my diamond shoes are too tight' problems last night? 

 

I am with everyone here questioning the Shay substance abuse storyline. Even whilst telling everyone her 'secret', Sheana was all 'what about meee? Don't I deserve happiness?' Does Shay have chronic pain? Is he getting the drugs legally? Is he depressed b/c he married a self-involved woman? If so he's acting out pretty common behavior - self-medication. Therapy is highly recommended for chronic pain patients (if that's his problem); maybe get together with Shay's family & try to move towards a solution rather than (fake) crying to Lisa? 

 

And I just can't with Kristen. Girl looks like she bathes in peach schnapps.

  • Love 10
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My post is going to be so Scheanaccentric that I'm thinking as I type in vocal fry.

 

You've all covered her apartment.  And please, someone put a cover over her apartment.  Tarps over the walls and furnishings would be an improvement. 

 

Loved the way she r-r-r-r-ripped those false eyelashes off.  Do that a few more times and she'll have no natural lashes left.  For whomever asked upthread, her hair was in a top ponytail and the ends were hanging down and framing her face like a bob.  She shouldn't let that happen. Ever again.

 

And for the love of god, when she sat down with Lisa, both of them put their purses on the table.  This is verboten in my house.  No telling how many vomit-smeared bathroom floors Scheana's purse has been set down on.  The bottom of Lisa's purse has probably never touched anything worse than the fine Corinthian leather seats of her Bentley, but people and dogs put their asses there.  I don't want anybody's vomitty ass purse on my table and I certainly don't want anyone's purse on a table that might later be used to serve my dinner.  Do you think after their little chat, James came and swept away the 30 pounds of crystal, china and flatware, threw a fresh tablecloth on and reset it for the dinner crowd?  LOL.  My guess would be no.  Gross.  I believe Scooby when he said Lisa's restaurants are shabby if her attention to detail is that remiss.

 

And Scheana, whining that you have more important things to do than being nice to the new girl? Hun, it's not that hard to be nice.  And if you can't be nice, it's actually easier to just ignore her than go out of your way to be a bitch. 

 

But if you're reading this, Scheana, and are only willing to take one piece of advice, go ahead and keep being bitchy and listen to this instead:  Like, playback your conversation that you had with Arianna in your princess bedroom.  Like, I think you'll, like, cringe really hard when you hear, like, how stupid you sound. And maybe discover why Shay has been gone for, like, 4 days. 

Edited by ryebread
  • Love 12
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So last season was all about Scheana. Her bachelorette party, her bridal shower, her wedding, her bitching about everyone's  behavior after her wedding.

 

Now this season it's all about the crumbling marriage. That she never noticed was crumbling. I think Shay is abusing because he is completely miserable with her. He was miserable before he married her. She never gave one bit of a shit about him and he knows it. If I were him, I would disappear for the rest of my life, not just 4 days. Jeez, she is the biggest narcissist I have ever seen in my life. Her fucking Brandi Glanville's husband makes perfect sense now. She never cared he was married. Only that she was having fun with someone else's husband. I think she would be a perfect match for JAX.

 

Lala- makes me miss Vail. 

Stassi- please keep her gone. We don't need her.

Schwartzie- that guy is a gorgeous model. I'm surprised Sandoval and Jax aren't jealous as hell. 

James- every time I think about anyone actually wanting to have sex with that skinny little kid I want to vomit. 

Katie-love her extensions.

Lisa-she's looking more like Alexis Carrington from the Dynasty era every time she's doing one of her "scenes".

  • Love 6
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Agree with all.  And I will add another reason why Shay could be self medicating. (IF he's self medicating.)

 

From the start, he was never that classic Hollywood pretty boy.  Kind of slouchy, sloppy. He had to be well aware of that before he met her and was likely surprised he bagged a beauty like Scheana.  Nice enough guy but not good enough for her, or so she thinks. He is no Eddie Cibrian. In the looks or finance department.  She's probably made him feel inferior from the minute he said, "I do".  If not before. 

 

Now she's the star of VPRs and is looking for a way out of a marriage she believes she's too good for.  And she'll make it all his fault.

 

ETA:  Looked at her instagram.   As of Halloween they're still together.  Both of them have lost a lot of weight. He looks great. She got her second band of diamonds for her ring. Priorities. I have to say, I think she is very beautiful.  Until she, like, opens her mouth.

 

Saw Katie's ring, too.  Meh.  As long as she loves it, that's all that matters.  Pear shaped, champagne colored diamond.

Edited by ryebread
  • Love 3
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ITA with 5 pills a day being bullshit. I don't remember the dose, but after my appendectomy I took 3-4 pills a day and that was per the directions. Shay's probably taking 5 x 5 pills and washing them down with shots of Fireball (seems to be the VPR go-to liquor), plus coke and/or ADD meds to even out. Pretty much all the cast members have admitted to some hard drug use and you can sometimes see lines or pills on their periscopes. Shay's not the only with a problem; IMO both Toms have coke jitters and the tell-tale perma-sniffles, and James seems to do most of his DJ-ing in a blackout. And of course there's Jax's famous "deviated septum".

Edited by The Mighty Peanut
  • Love 3
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Eh, I'm not mad at Scheana for using Shay's "drug addiction" for her storyline as I'm sure she couldn't have done it without his permission. IDK if they're in love for keeps, but I do think they care about each other and were fine with the status quo before this show.

  • Love 3
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Did anyone see that after show they did last week with 2 of the people from People's Couch hosting?  It was mostly fluff but you got a lot of insight into no one should date James ever.  I blame his age in part but he really is just disgusting.  He basically said he was a really good boyfriend to Kristen when she was being good to him but when she started her usual Kristen b.s. it was a justification for him to be a complete sh*t person.  She's awful, don't get me wrong but it doesn't give him a pass for cheating, lying, etc.  People like this create the Kristens of the world.  How much more insecure and distrusting do you think she'll be now?  

  • Love 9
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The Mighty Peanut, on 16 Nov 2015 - 7:07 PM, said:

I didn't really buy Lisa's shock. "WHAT, pills with alcohol?" "Five a DAY?" For someone who claims, albeit jokingly, to not remember the 80s, and who was temporarily friends with Brandi Glanville, it seems a bit naive.

 

Maybe Lisa is shocked it's only 5 pills a day? 

 

Regardless, this felt very real to me.  Having had an addict ex, I don't envy Scheana this at all.  From her talk with Lisa, Scheana said something about it going on since Christmas which was less than 6 months after they married.  Very sad.  Clearly there was something going on before the marriage.  The previews show Shay saying something about being unhappy for 2 years.  I can't fault Scheana for saying "why did you marry me?" because I think that's a normal response.  I also think it's believable that she didn't realize how unhappy he was.  People can hide all types of shit and act how they think they are supposed to.  I do wonder if any of Shay's guy friends knew or noticed. 

 

The Shay bedroom furniture looks like furniture I had when I was about 6.  They need to start "adulting" and upgrade from the pretty, pretty princess furniture. Maybe they should ask Flat Iron and Nugget for tips.  In all seriousness though, most men I know would NOT feel comfortable in that extremely feminine, princess-y bedroom.  Ken Todd probably would though!  And did I see a litter box against the wall in the bedroom, next to the bed?  Girl, no!  Not good to be sleeping next to a litter box, not at all.  I used to have cats, I know.  Better to have the box in your bathroom.

 

WTF is going on with Jax and his face?  Did the cosmetic surgeon pack cotton wads in his cheeks and forget to remove them?  Are all of his teeth and/or gums infected?  I think someone last week said he looks like he's storing nuts for the winter and now I can't get a Chip 'n Dale reference out of my head (except chipmunks are way cuter.)  Jax' jawline seriously scares me. 

 

Lala . . . when you make Schwartzie look positively zen and calm, you in danger, girl.  Clearly she is on the show for storyline purposes as Lisa should have fired her as soon as she realized she lied.  And she's a neurotic mess.  (Kristen already fills that niche.)

 

Kristen is crazy as all get out but I do feel sorry for her regarding DJ Muppet Baby.  He's young, immature and being a douche.  He's certainly not doing himself any favors by going from Kristen to Lala.  Oy.

 

I too liked seeing Flat Iron and Schwartzie hanging out on the sofa.  They are funny together.  I did not like the ring chosen for Katie.  If it's what she wants, okay.  But I am not a fan of the champagne colored diamond or the pear shaped setting.  And the jeweler and Scheana acting all miffed with Schwartzie's budget of $4-5k.  That's still a big chunk of money, especially for someone who doesn't work on the regular.

 

Gotta say, seeing the new girl - - Faith? - -picking up Schwartzie made me laugh.

Edited by psychoticstate
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That being said, it's completely ridiculous of Lala to act like she was SO upset by their questioning that she had to fly "home" and miss her big trip to Italy over it. I've never been out of the country. So if I had a chance to go to Europe, I would just pack my tissues and put on my big girl panties and go. 

 

 

Her sugar daddy probably finds tears to be a real boner killer and gave her ticket away.

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Oh poor Lala (I can't with that name)! She gets called out for being a whore, which she totally is, and her fee-fees get so hurt that instead of going to Venice for this fabulous trip, she's so upset that she has to call her mommy.

And take the first flight to fly-over country to spend the weekend sobbing to her. Geez, she makes Shwartzie look good! I think this has already been asked, but who goes to Italy for a weekend? It think it took me about eight hours to fly to Germany one way and I was wiped out from jetlag for about half a week. Maybe it doesn't affect someone her age that much, but that doesn't seem to leave much time to attend a "photoshoot", especially if Murphy's Law came into play. Oh wait, she really wasn't going there for a photoshoot, was she?

 

My favorite part of the episode was when they were hanging outside on the couches together. A metrosexual King of the Hill, if you will. They just strike me as having a very authentic friendship, and being very comfortable with one another. I find them adorable. 

I find the two Toms adorable together, too.  Did you see the aftershow with them on it?

 

Her sugar daddy probably finds tears to be a real boner killer and gave her ticket away.

Heh. I wonder if she really left town or found a local Mr Johnson to spend the weekend with.

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