Janelle Brown: Smarter Than Your Average Brown (Maybe)

[Pickleinthemiddle]

4 hours ago, xwordfanatik said:

And she didn't expound on what the "workout" was.  Lifting her glass?  Geez.

She could have come and mowed my yard today.  While it was only in the 80's it was super humid and I was sweating buckets.  Had to hurry and finish as it was starting to rain.  After finishing up I sat in the garage with a breeze blowing in and drank at least 60 ounces of ice water while cooling off.  That will get you to drink what your body needs daily.  

[ginger90]

[TurtlePower]

17 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Oh come on, Janelle! Just what the heck did she DO to feel the need to replenish electrolytes in Flagstaff this time of year? Highs are in the 70s, lows in the 40s! It's not like she's running with the elite distance athletes on Lake Mary road. 

We know she doesn't do much beyond a couple miles and that her workouts likely do not require "electrolyte replacement". It can't be expressed enough--she is unqualified to be charging people money for her ignorant-ass advice.  And again with the use of non-committal words--"I guess I needed". No, she likely didn't. 

[laurakaye]

Large bottle of Gatorade at the local gas station convenience store = $2.49.

50-pound bag of Himalayan pink salt that will quickly turn into an unusable lump of crud at the back of the pantry because she didn't properly seal the bag - $150.

10 pounds of limes ('cause she likes to be generous with the limes) - $25.00

And why does the glass in the photo only have, like, 6 ounces of water in it?!

Strive, y'all!! 

[Gothish520]

11 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Wow what a view! And very nice picture of Savanah and Grandma.

[Natalie68]

23 hours ago, DakotaJustice said:

If that's all the water she drank with it... I'm guessing she doesn't drink enough water because it's "too hard" to do. 🙄

Which could also explain her perpetual digestion issues.

[DakotaJustice]

2 hours ago, Gothish520 said:

Wow what a view! And very nice picture of Savanah and Grandma.

Savannah looks like she's "over it".  

I feel bad about Janelle's mom's teeth. 😳

[BradandJanet]

It looks as if Grandma is wearing braces on her teeth. Good for her. 

[YupItsMe]

7 hours ago, Gothish520 said:

Wow what a view! And very nice picture of Savanah and Grandma.

That’s a beautiful child but her eyes just look so very sad.

[laurakaye]

8 hours ago, YupItsMe said:

That’s a beautiful child but her eyes just look so very sad.

I agree.  My impression is that Savannah is very shy and has never been able to find her place in this loud and boisterous family.  Also, her mom is checked out, her dad has a new princess in Ariabellioloa, and her own sister didn't even ask her to be a bridesmaid in her wedding.  When Janelle said that Savannah didn't like to come out of her room in Vegas because it's too hot, I immediately called BS.  More likely, she felt highly uncomfortable around all the camera people and other randoms traipsing thorough her house.  And now she's separated from the rest of her half-siblings - it's just her and Janelle.  That can't be healthy or fun.

There seems to be a real kinship between Janelle's five older kids.  Obviously we don't see everything, but other than seeing Logan carrying a toddler Savannah around the house while he prepared breakfast for his siblings in season one, I can't remember seeing anyone playing with or bonding with Savannah.

Edited May 31, 2019 by laurakaye

[DakotaJustice]

Savannah is the most similar to Janelle, and that's not a good thing. 

Gotta love Janelle (not) for ripping both her younger kids away from friends that they might have made in Vegas to start over again. Gabe seems to have spunk so it's not as bad for him, but Savannah seems to be introverted like her mom. 

I can totally see Savannah ending up living with Janelle like a spinster.

[TurtlePower]

6 hours ago, DakotaJustice said:

Savannah is the most similar to Janelle, and that's not a good thing. 

Gotta love Janelle (not) for ripping both her younger kids away from friends that they might have made in Vegas to start over again. Gabe seems to have spunk so it's not as bad for him, but Savannah seems to be introverted like her mom. 

I can totally see Savannah ending up living with Janelle like a spinster.

If she's smart, she'll "strive" to not wind up like her mother: depressed, in a plyg family with a weight problem and a fake business. 

ETA: Didn't want to seem like I was snarking on the kid but I can relate to the comment I made. My own mother is kinda like Janelle--depressed, in a crappy marriage and kinda.......dumb (the word fits). I've had to work very hard not to wind up like her. 

Edited May 31, 2019 by TurtlePower
clarification

[Scarlett45]

On 5/29/2019 at 1:35 AM, Pickleinthemiddle said:

Agree, why are they staying in a hotel when they have a house to use?  

Is the old house still furnished with household supplies?(like toilet paper)

[Gothish520]

6 hours ago, laurakaye said:

And now she's separated from the rest of her half-siblings - it's just her and Janelle.  That can't be healthy or fun.

There seems to be a real kinship between Janelle's five older kids.  Obviously we don't see everything, but other than seeing Logan carrying a toddler Savannah around the house while he prepared breakfast for his siblings in season one, I can't remember seeing anyone playing with or bonding with Savannah.

6 hours ago, DakotaJustice said:

Savannah is the most similar to Janelle, and that's not a good thing. 

Gotta love Janelle (not) for ripping both her younger kids away from friends that they might have made in Vegas to start over again. Gabe seems to have spunk so it's not as bad for him, but Savannah seems to be introverted like her mom. 

I can totally see Savannah ending up living with Janelle like a spinster.

Yikes, let's not write the poor child off already! 😛

I kid, but I agree that the move was probably hard on Savanah, as she has no one close to her age around anymore. She and Breanna are only 8 months apart, for some reason I always thought they had formed a good relationship. Now they are too far away to see each other all time like they could have before. Hopefully she has friends at school.

[xwordfanatik]

35 minutes ago, Gothish520 said:

Yikes, let's not write the poor child off already! 😛

I kid, but I agree that the move was probably hard on Savanah, as she has no one close to her age around anymore. She and Breanna are only 8 months apart, for some reason I always thought they had formed a good relationship. Now they are too far away to see each other all time like they could have before. Hopefully she has friends at school.

If Robyn could tear herself away from Kootie for 5 minutes, she could invite Savanah over for a sleepover or somethingk.  She certainly has room enough.

Janelle is so checked out, and that's a shame for her youngest.  One would think as sister wives, they could make more of an effort to get their kids together.  No one works AFAIK, so it's not like they haven't got time.  It was ridiculous to rush and move everyone at once.  Kootie and Robyn decide everything major, to suit their selfish asses.  Tough if no one else agrees, they do it anyway.  And they STILL have an unsold house to this day.  Their whole "one happy family" is so phony.  You couldn't pay me enough to live like that.

[Gothish520]

35 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

If Robyn could tear herself away from Kootie for 5 minutes, she could invite Savanah over for a sleepover or somethingk.  She certainly has room enough.

Janelle is so checked out, and that's a shame for her youngest.  One would think as sister wives, they could make more of an effort to get their kids together.  No one works AFAIK, so it's not like they haven't got time.  It was ridiculous to rush and move everyone at once.  Kootie and Robyn decide everything major, to suit their selfish asses.  Tough if no one else agrees, they do it anyway.  And they STILL have an unsold house to this day.  Their whole "one happy family" is so phony.  You couldn't pay me enough to live like that.

Hopefully they do try to get together (me, ever the optimist!). But it's still not the same as living next door. The cul-de-sac really was a great living situation for the kids, who could see each other any time, even if the wives were "busy", lol.

[ginger90]

Are you ready? 

[xwordfanatik]

Is Janelle trying to tell us that this pre-made bowl has squash noodles?  Or is she pontificating on whether to make squash noodles, herself?  I believe it's the former, but her post is confusing.  

MFM, is it time for another Strife post?  hehe, I love those.

[deirdra]

The Green Giant™ Fresh Ramen Bowl contains butternut squash noodles, chopped cauliflower, carrots, onions & broccoli with dry roasted edamame and ramen seasoning. Microwave right in the bowl for a delicious meal in minutes! Allergens: Soy

110 calories, 2 g fat, 16 g of carbs and only 7 g protein per serving is not a filling meal nor a "good source of protein".

Why not look for actual fresh produce in the produce section? Grab some zucchini & a spiralizer and make  your own fresh noodles!

Edited June 1, 2019 by deirdra

[Kohola3]

Can you even make butternut squash noodles?  Cooked squash is soft, don't they just disintegrate?

[MakingBacon]

Spaghetti Squash noodles would probably blow Janelle’s mind. 

[ginger90]

16 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

Can you even make butternut squash noodles?  Cooked squash is soft, don't they just disintegrate?

My daughter does. She has a spiralizer and uses the thickest setting. She doesn’t boil them (you can, or do them in the oven), she sautés them.

[Twopper]

On 5/31/2019 at 8:15 AM, laurakaye said:

I agree.  My impression is that Savannah is very shy and has never been able to find her place in this loud and boisterous family.  Also, her mom is checked out, her dad has a new princess in Ariabellioloa, and her own sister didn't even ask her to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. 

Do we know if Savannah was not asked?  I have known women who asked their sisters, but the sisters didn't was to be in the wedding for any number of reasons.

[VegasVixen]

I can't help but roll my eyes at her posts anymore. The produce section is where I spend most of my time. I really hope people aren't actually paying her for her coaching. She can't seem to get her own poop in a group let alone help people get theirs together! I wonder how long this health coach facade will go on. 

[DakotaJustice]

2 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Are you ready? 

"Explore OUT?" 

Please, it's as though you have to hunt for stuff like butternut squash noodles. They're hard to avoid at both my local Safeways.

Also I've bought this kind of stuff before. They're not bad but they tend to be on the mushy side 😳

Edited June 2, 2019 by DakotaJustice

[TurtlePower]

13 hours ago, DakotaJustice said:

"Explore OUT?" 

Please, it's as though you have to hunt for stuff like butternut squash noodles. They're hard to avoid at both my local Safeways.

Also I've bought this kind of stuff before. They're not bad but they tend to be on the mushy side 😳

Bummer. That looks like something I'd want to try after a long day of fieldwork (and no access to my own kitchen).  Wheat-sensitive + plant based + travel = lots of planning!

[Mahamid Frauded Me]

I tend to stay away from the prepared stuff due to the insane amount of sodium. 

[Roslyn]

Hmm.  Did she originally have written "really check out your produce section" and changed check to explore, but naturally didn't proof read at all.

Sorry...but a "health" coach should be steering people to the produce section for...you know....produce.  If the post was about "on the go" healthier choice grabs....maybe...just maybe.  But if you are trying to have a "community of wellness" (whatever that is suppose to mean) I would first steer people away from any kind of pre-prepared food.  Problem is. Janelle isn't in any way a cook.

[Natalie68]

22 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Are you ready? 

I just don't believe she really eats this stuff.  Maybe with a side of oreos. 

 Butternut squash noodles are super good.  I had gotten some but kept forgetting to make them until last weekend when I was lazy and threw some pasta sauce on them (tomato not Alfredo Janelle!).  They were w huge hit with me and Mr. Natalie.  I had had spaghetti squash this way before but not butternut.  I know it is something super common, it just isn't something I make often (or any real pasta for that matter).  

[Irate Panda]

I’m supposed to be inspired by somebody telling me to eat a Jolly Green Giant Ramen Bowl?  That’s it! I’m going into lifestyle/health coaching. For a mere $19.99/month, you, too, can receive inspirational posts from Coach Irate Panda such as :

Hey there, Passionate Pandamaniacs!!!

Today, I wanted to check out my local produce section.  Instead of actually leaving the house, I decided to just look up random pictures of vegetables on the Internet.  I saved money on food and gas for the car, thus being being both fiscally responsible and environmentally conscious.  Total Rockstar move on my part!  Next week, we’ll look at keeping physically fit.  Personally, I try to work in a move called “Modified Standing” for at least 8-12 hours a day, it involves a recliner and a bag of Doritos.    #itsascam #sendcheddar #cheddaris$orcheeseimnotpicky #rockstarblob

*Warning: I have no medical, coaching or lifestyle training.  I am not a health coach I just play one in this thread.  Feel free to send cheddar anyway, either type is fine with me.

PS: I don’t have the flair or humor of @Mahamid Frauded Me ‘s satirical posts, but I do have the incompetence and drivel of a Janelle post, so there’s that.

[DakotaJustice]

7 hours ago, TurtlePower said:

Bummer. That looks like something I'd want to try after a long day of fieldwork (and no access to my own kitchen).  Wheat-sensitive + plant based + travel = lots of planning!

They're easy to make with a spiralizer but the Safeways in my area all sell premade butternut squash noodles that they make fresh every day. They don't have anything added so you can add whatever you like to them.

[laurakaye]

On 5/31/2019 at 5:06 PM, xwordfanatik said:

Janelle is so checked out, and that's a shame for her youngest.  One would think as sister wives, they could make more of an effort to get their kids together.  No one works AFAIK, so it's not like they haven't got time.

If we are to believe Janelle, she works all the time!  She's constantly on the go, in her car, driving long distances, looking for rockstar spices, etc.  The woman is never home!  She always seems to be in the midst of re-calibrating her eating habits from being on the road so much!  

And seriously, Janelle has real, deep-seated issues with vegetables.  It's like she's afraid of them.  She tells a lot of people to check out the produce section?  Ground-breaking!!  She's "talking" her own advice and rather than pick up some actual fresh vegetables, she grabs a pre-made kit that she can just pop in the microwave to "see if she likes it?"  Gosh.  Riveting advice.  On my way to the grocery store right now to check out my produce section.  Hope I can find it. 

[Juliegirlj]

Janelle seems to complain about stomach upsets a lot- maybe she should look into food sensitivities! My stomach was a mess, and I was overweight and couldn’t lose at all, until I took a home food sensitivity test and cut out all the dietary offenders. In spite of eating basically anything ( except reactive foods) and as much as I want, the weight just fell off. 

[Natalie68]

4 hours ago, laurakaye said:

If we are to believe Janelle, she works all the time!  She's constantly on the go, in her car, driving long distances, looking for rockstar spices, etc.  The woman is never home!  She always seems to be in the midst of re-calibrating her eating habits from being on the road so much!  

And seriously, Janelle has real, deep-seated issues with vegetables.  It's like she's afraid of them.  She tells a lot of people to check out the produce section?  Ground-breaking!!  She's "talking" her own advice and rather than pick up some actual fresh vegetables, she grabs a pre-made kit that she can just pop in the microwave to "see if she likes it?"  Gosh.  Riveting advice.  On my way to the grocery store right now to check out my produce section.  Hope I can find it. 

Let me know where it is.  I looked last time I was at the store but man, after about an hour all I could find was the ice cream.  Fingers crossed you find it!!!

[ginger90]

Where is she always, seemingly, going??

I don’t travel with a yoga mat, but I’m thinking if I did, I would have a separate bag for it.

[laurakaye]

Again, I ask - where is she going all the dang time?!?  What keeps her sooooooooo busy?!  What does "Anymore my yoga mat always goes in my suitcase" mean?  Why does her mat have to be so thin - what on earth is she packing in that suitcase?  Doritos?  Peppermint tea?  Rockstar nutmeg?

She travels more than all the other Browns put together.  But to do what?

[xwordfanatik]

I believe Janelle posted this same drivel a while back.  She can't even come up with a new, although lame, post!  I remember some of us were kinda grossed out that she put a sweaty yoga mat in with her (presumably?) clean clothes in a suitcase.

Yeah, where's she going?  Her posts are not only repeats, they're boring.

[ginger90]

She does tend to recycle her posts.

[ginger90]

In between there was a post about how great the above, “thick mat” was, and what a difference it made. 

Dirty mat....

Note: these are old posts.

[Mahamid Frauded Me]

[xwordfanatik]

MFM, thank you for another brilliant Strife post!  You are gifted!

[deirdra]

If Janelle ever visits Canada, she should try Mr. Christie's Pirate Oatmeal Peanut Butter Cookies -  like an Oreo, but with peanut butter filling between two oatmeal cookies.  They taste like the Peanut butter Girl Scout cookies of the 1960s that were discontinued and never replicated in the US. As Janelle would say, oatmeal is good source of fiber and peanut butter is a protein source (but the sugar and addictive taste will get you).

And Janelle, that pink thing is not a thin yoga mat, it looks like a piece of felt from the remnant bin at the fabric store.  Is its purpose to protect the hotel carpets from your filthy feet & body?

Edited June 4, 2019 by deirdra

[xwordfanatik]

12 hours ago, deirdra said:

If Janelle ever visits Canada, she should try Mr. Christie's Pirate Oatmeal Peanut Butter Cookies -  like an Oreo, but with peanut butter filling between two oatmeal cookies.  They taste like the Peanut butter Girl Scout cookies of the 1960s that were discontinued and never replicated in the US. As Janelle would say, oatmeal is good source of fiber and peanut butter is a protein source (but the sugar and addictive taste will get you).

And Janelle, that pink thing is not a thin yoga mat, it looks like a piece of felt from the remnant bin at the fabric store.  Is its purpose to protect the hotel carpets from your filthy feet & body?

LOL, reminds me of when Kootie took Janelle mattress shopping.  He gets on it with his greasy hair, and she flops down on it with dirty feet.  Gross!  

Those cookies sound "yummy" as Kootie would say.  Remember Yum-Yum's circa 1970's?  They were so good, they made the 10 worst foods list.  Chocolate, caramel, and coconut.  The trifecta of deliciousness!

[ChristmasJones]

16 hours ago, deirdra said:

As Janelle would say, oatmeal is good source of fiber and peanut butter is a protein source (but the sugar and addictive taste will get you).

You forgot... oatmeal cookies with peanut butter are a protein rock star, and a total game changer! 

Edited June 4, 2019 by ChristmasJones

[ginger90]

This is what the link is to:

[LilWharveyGal]

What the everloving heck?

"Not all parks accommodate plus size people like Disney does..." makes it sound like she's talking about infrastructure - comfortable seats for people of size and so on.

So she links to a site about Disneybounding which means DRESSING UP like a character.  And Disney does not "accommodate" anyone by selling these items in multiple sizes, these are generic clothes people use to design an outfit that suggests a character.  In other words, if you can buy an XXL Gap t-shirt in blue to resemble Ariel at Disneyland, you can buy the same one in green to wear to Universal to resemble Princess Fiona, or whoever.  

So who's not accommodating her, exactly?  What does the "awesome" link have to do with anything?  And WTF is she trying to say?

[xwordfanatik]

I'm with you, LWG.  Janelle dear, you aren't making sense!

And like I just commented in Meri's thread, how in the world do these people go on vacation as often as they seem to?  With an LV house still unsold, yet.  Someone must have inherited a bundle, or TLC pays way more $$$ more than I would guess.  

[DakotaJustice]

1 hour ago, LilWharveyGal said:

What the everloving heck?

"Not all parks accommodate plus size people like Disney does..." makes it sound like she's talking about infrastructure - comfortable seats for people of size and so on.

So she links to a site about Disneybounding which means DRESSING UP like a character.  And Disney does not "accommodate" anyone by selling these items in multiple sizes, these are generic clothes people use to design an outfit that suggests a character.  In other words, if you can buy an XXL Gap t-shirt in blue to resemble Ariel at Disneyland, you can buy the same one in green to wear to Universal to resemble Princess Fiona, or whoever.  

So who's not accommodating her, exactly?  What does the "awesome" link have to do with anything?  And WTF is she trying to say?

I'm guessing she didn't even bother reading it before posting. 

And I guess by "park" she means amusement park and if they didn't accommodate plus size patrons they'd be out of business. 

When I think of parks i think Yosemite, Joshua Tree, etc. I think YNP does what it can, but you still have to be in good physical shape to hike the Four Mile Trail or Half Dome. 

[Galloway Cave]

1 hour ago, xwordfanatik said:

how in the world do these people go on vacation as often as they seem to?

I imagine the credit cards are approaching their limits. Then it will be time to file bankruptcy again.

[ginger90]