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Janelle Brown: Smarter Than Your Average Brown (Maybe)

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34 minutes ago, Pickleinthemiddle said:

That and you cant drink a lot of it, as it will mess with your digestion.  Even though it is meant to help.  I speak from experience I got on a peppermint tea kick and it worked like a laxative on me.  

It can also interfere with the effectiveness of some meds.

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On 5/1/2019 at 12:12 PM, lookeyloo said:

Have y'all seen those commercials for "Shapermint"?  The women demonstrating do tuck big bellies into them for a smoothing appearance.  Maybe Janelle should try these.  Or sell them.

That's actually a really good idea, Janelle would be the perfect model for the shape wear.

She could show an outfit before and after.... it would be very effective. 

I'm short and about 12 lbs over my ideal weight so for certain outfits I have a little piece of shape wear that works well but I wish it had a better waist band that didn't dig in... I've tried a couple others but they both had the same problem and I don't need or want the type that goes all the way up to your bra.... Just something with a better waist design.

if Janelle had nice shape wear I'd definitely consider it and purchase something.

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I've moved a bunch of posts to Small Talk that were not about Janelle. Please guys, keep it to Janelle. 

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On 5/2/2019 at 7:42 AM, DaphneCat said:

Nope, she is going to find the magic bullet.  The ONE THING that will make it possible to lose weight without changing a single other thing in her life.  And she will get this wonderful effect by ADDING something.  She will not have to cut back on something (I'm one of those people who basically believes you shouldn't have to completely give up anything - except diet soda, that's just terrible stuff - you should simply adjust your consumption.)  She will not have to make substitutions - fresh or frozen vegetables for high sodium canned ones, whole grain bread instead of Wonder Bread, etc.  She will simply discover the ONE "rock star" that will change her life.  

Totally laughing at this thought! There she goes again. Way to sound professional there, Janelle. Also agree that that bag of peppermint tea is going to find its way to the back of the pantry once she realizes it's not going to help her after 3 cups. 

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2 hours ago, TurtlePower said:

Totally laughing at this thought! There she goes again. Way to sound professional there, Janelle. Also agree that that bag of peppermint tea is going to find its way to the back of the pantry once she realizes it's not going to help her after 3 cups. 

The sack of peppermint tea is cracking me up! Whoever said she could've just bought a plant is spot on. I bought ONE! mint plant in 2015 and it's proven to be super resilient and prolific. I totally ignore it, my landscapers chop it down and a few months later it's as bushy as ever. 

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She must have ordered the tea online to get a pound.  It's so fluffy that just a couple of ounces will fill a small tea container.  She really needs to get over buying giant economy sizes until she's sure she's going to stick with something.  Costco size snack foods are probably excepted from that policy.  🙂  I have a mint plant also and it takes possibly an extra 30 seconds to cut a couple stems to brew and it can't go stale.

Edited by Absolom
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22 minutes ago, Absolom said:

She must have ordered the tea online to get a pound.  It's so fluffy that just a couple of ounces will fill a small tea container.  She really needs to get over buying giant economy sizes until she's sure she's going to stick with something.  Costco size snacks foods are probably excepted from that policy.  🙂  I have a mint plant also and it takes possibly an extra 30 seconds to cut a couple stems to brew and it can't go stale.

I'm not really a mint person per se but I'm set in case of a mojito craving. 

Plus I learned squirrels don't like mint so I moved it closer to my heirloom tomato plants. 

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On 5/2/2019 at 6:49 AM, ginger90 said:

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Wow! So inspiring, Janelle.  These posts really make me want to sign up for Strive.

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2 hours ago, Irate Panda said:

Wow! So inspiring, Janelle.  These posts really make me want to sign up for Strive.

Is there actually anything to sign up for, or just ersatz health coaching? 

When she first started that health coaching crap, her strive website said something to the effect that she won't actually provide any nutritional or fitness advice. Basically she'll just listen and go yup, uh-huh, yup.

Here's how I envision a STJ health coaching sesh: 

(fan pays $35 and Janelle FaceTimes at the appointment time) 

Janelle is sitting on the tattered naugahyde La Z Boy, holding up the phone. 

JANELLE: hi there, are you ready for your coaching session? 

FAN: (squealing in excitement) omg! It's YOU! 

JANELLE: Yup. We have 35 minutes and I'm starting the timer now. What health Issue do you need to discuss? 

F: (having palpitations) i just can't believe it's you!! 

J: yep so what's your issue? 

F: so is Kody there too? Is it your night? 

J: (rolls her eyes) not this week. You have 33 minutes left. What health problem do you need to address? 

F: So is Gabe still mad at you? Why isn't Logan on the show? What's the deal with you and Meri? 

J: I probably should have said this on my website, but I don't discuss the show or my family. That's private. Only health issues. You have 27 minutes left. 

F: (a bit cowed) oh. Let me think...

J: ok, think of what you want to talk about and I'm going to make myself a peppermint tea latte with extra ghee, molasses, chia seeds and a fragment of a kale leaf. 

Puts phone down and makes her disgusting beverage

J: (slurps up a big swig from her Adulting Time sippy cup) ahhh. Ok, 19 minutes. Anything? 

F: Do chia seeds help with weight loss? 

J: Hell if I know, let me check Google. Incidentally, as a health coach, I don't actually give advice. I'm just a sympathetic ear. Like a priest or something. You have 13 minutes left.  It's going to take me a few minutes to Google this question. Hold on.

Puts fan on hold with elevator music for 5 minutes

J: the answer is no. But you can buy a Strive With Janelle Chia Head. Limited edition and I'll give you 20% off AND throw in a free pedometer for only $5 more.  By the way, you only have 5 minutes left. 

F: so when was the last time you and Kody had sex? What are his favorite positions? Do you feel like kicking Meri in the face sometimes? 

J: times up! *Click* 

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On 5/2/2019 at 2:09 PM, Sandy W said:

She must have ordered it from the comfort of her recliner, had she bought it in a store she would have seen how large it was and not been surprised.

Maybe she ordered it on Amazon here.  It's the only place I found it for sale online.  And it cost $15.00.  Or maybe she goes to some local high priced "health food" store.  There's one in my area and they push a lot of these fad products.  I'm thinking she has to be getting the ideas for this stuff from somewhere, because she's obviously not thinking of these things on her own.  I sometimes see stuff like this at Home Goods or Marshalls in the gourmet food section for very low prices but I just have this feeling she's going to some hippy dippy trippy health food store with free kombucha on tap and staff dressed in gowns with fairy wings (no lie, they sometimes dress up that way in the store near me).  I'm sure Janelle thinks she's being educated into some esoteric woo-woo food cult that will bring her to some kind of health nirvana.

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She did get it on Amazon, someone asked her. Some also suggested she grow her own. That made me laugh because of Gabe’s “illicit drug package” comment.

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Just now, ginger90 said:

Some also suggested she grow her own.

Mint is just about the easiest thing in the world to grow.  It can take over a garden in a heartbeat.  But that would require physical effort, you know, digging a hole and all.

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Didn’t she say she wanted a garden? Mint is something that will grow in Flagstaff. A neighbor has a huge patch that was left by the previous owner. Comes up every year without the neighbor doing anything, so it would be easy for Janelle. 

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15 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Or maybe she goes to some local high priced "health food" store.  

No, that would be too exhausting for Janelle.  She said she was surprised by the size of the bag, so she must have just seen the tiny picture online before she ordered it from the comfort of her Lazy Girl Recliner.

Edited by deirdra
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Why is everything they drink green?  Is that some sort of polygamist thing?  Or seemingly healthy?  Green goo is not my first choice of a beverage.

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14 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

Why is everything they drink green?  Is that some sort of polygamist thing?  Or seemingly healthy?  Green goo is not my first choice of a beverage.

Nope, it's a health fad.  It's sort of an attempt to get vegetables without tasting like vegetables.  Her smoothie looks particularly disgusting.  

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18 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

Why is everything they drink green?  Is that some sort of polygamist thing?  Or seemingly healthy?  Green goo is not my first choice of a beverage.

She should have used this opportunity to use up some of her abundance of mint leaves instead of spinach.  She could probably have produced a mighty belch and rid herself of the gas buildup from the black beans.

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I had mint tea from freshly picked leaves in honor of Janelle.  I'm still a bit nauseated from the idea of black beans in a smoothie and I've had some odd stuff in smoothies.  I wonder if she really did it or she was copying a post she saw somewhere.

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If Janelle stepped out into her backyard and looked in her garden she may find that one of the previous tenants planted some mint, and it has already sprouted on its own again this year. 

Mint would be nicer in a chocolate smoothie than spinach and black beans.

Edited by deirdra
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What a waste of calories. That smoothie just sounds nasty.

What does she do, close her eyes and reach into her pantry cabinet? 

Hey Janelle. Why not do what I do and make yourself a BIG salad with baby spinach, low calorie raspberry vinegrette dressing, craisins, pumpkin seeds, chicken breast, and a little crumbled gorgonzola cheese? Sure beats hiding the spinach in a disgusting smoothie.

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17 minutes ago, DakotaJustice said:

What a waste of calories. That smoothie just sounds nasty.

What does she do, close her eyes and reach into her pantry cabinet? 

Hey Janelle. Why not do what I do and make yourself a BIG salad with baby spinach, low calorie raspberry vinegrette dressing, craisins, pumpkin seeds, chicken breast, and a little crumbled gorgonzola cheese? Sure beats hiding the spinach in a disgusting smoothie.

It's like she doesn't even want to expend the energy it would take to chew.  How lazy can she get?  

Drinking liquids is not nearly as satisfying as actually eating and chewing whatever it is.  Janelle is as much of a health coach as Nancy is a therapist.  If it quacks like a duck...

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1 hour ago, xwordfanatik said:

It's like she doesn't even want to expend the energy it would take to chew.  How lazy can she get?  

Drinking liquids is not nearly as satisfying as actually eating and chewing whatever it is.  Janelle is as much of a health coach as Nancy is a therapist.  If it quacks like a duck...

Exactly, making a nice salad is nothing to most of us but it's waýyyyyyyyyy too much work for Janelle. 

No wonder she doesn't stick to any type of healthy eating... Her idea of healthy is some black bean slop smoothie.. Very few people can stick to that type of thing but it's actually fairly easy to keep eating healthy salads like DakotaJustice posted because it's actual food that you eat, chew, swallow and it tastes great unlike that slime she's probably holding her nose to drink 😂

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22 minutes ago, Joan of Argh said:

Exactly, making a nice salad is nothing to most of us but it's waýyyyyyyyyy too much work for Janelle. 

No wonder she doesn't stick to any type of healthy eating... Her idea of healthy is some black bean slop smoothie.. Very few people can stick to that type of thing but it's actually fairly easy to keep eating healthy salads like DakotaJustice posted because it's actual food that you eat, chew, swallow and it tastes great unlike that slime she's probably holding her nose to drink 😂

There's way more work involved in making that smoothie than making a salad. 

She makes smoothies to hide the "handfuls" of spinach because she refuses to learn to like veggies. Handfuls of spinach ain't much.

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3 hours ago, DakotaJustice said:

What a waste of calories. That smoothie just sounds nasty.

She said that "many times my smoothies don't stick with me." That should be a clue to her that she needs a more substantial breakfast of solid food. It shouldn't take more time to make a good breakfast than it does to make that glass of vile crap.

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10 hours ago, Absolom said:

I had mint tea from freshly picked leaves in honor of Janelle.  I'm still a bit nauseated from the idea of black beans in a smoothie and I've had some odd stuff in smoothies.  I wonder if she really did it or she was copying a post she saw somewhere.

I went to the link she posted and it's apparently B.

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11 hours ago, Absolom said:

I had mint tea from freshly picked leaves in honor of Janelle.  I'm still a bit nauseated from the idea of black beans in a smoothie and I've had some odd stuff in smoothies.  I wonder if she really did it or she was copying a post she saw somewhere.

I'm even more nauseated thinking about tahini in a smoothie.  🤮

What must her fridge look like with odd leftover amounts of this and that from her constant "experimentation"?  How much tahini can one use unless one makes hummus on a regular basis?  It's just not an ingredient I could find that many uses for.....Which is why she's probably finding ways to throw it into a smoothie.  She's probably getting her ideas from sites like this, although I can see it on avocado toast before putting it in a smoothie.

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Does this mean Janelle is having a stick-ectomy for her birthday? NO DONT SHOW US THE PROCEDURE!

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What is that picture of?  I can't make it out.  Apparently it has no relation to the deep words of wisdom.

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22 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

What is that picture of?  I can't make it out.  Apparently it has no relation to the deep words of wisdom.

It’s the candle on the table in the other picture. No clue about the connection!

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1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

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Would that be Kody’s “stick”?

i thought she did the first 20 years of polygamy were hell, or something? Wonderful life indeed!

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1 hour ago, Kohola3 said:

What is that picture of?  I can't make it out.  Apparently it has no relation to the deep words of wisdom.

I'm more interested in what appears to be a cocktail glass at Robyn's place setting.  Meri and Janelle also appear to have wine glasses at theirs, in addition to the water goblets.

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2 hours ago, ginger90 said:

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Robyn’s outfit looks so matronly. She’s the youngest of the four but she doesn’t dress like it.  The hair doesn’t help, either. Clinton and Stacy would have a field day with this group - I would pay money to see that, I kid you not!

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5 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I'm even more nauseated thinking about tahini in a smoothie.  🤮

What must her fridge look like with odd leftover amounts of this and that from her constant "experimentation"?  How much tahini can one use unless one makes hummus on a regular basis?  It's just not an ingredient I could find that many uses for.....Which is why she's probably finding ways to throw it into a smoothie.  She's probably getting her ideas from sites like this, although I can see it on avocado toast before putting it in a smoothie.

So I lived/worked in Israel and this stuff was everywhere. But never in a smoothie. Tahini in a smoothie? She's gone off the deep end with a weighted belt on. 

She says her smoothies don't stick with her. Janelle, TRY SOMETHING ELSE! On the one hand, I get smoothies. I have trouble digesting some plant fibers (I don't need explosive diarrhea at work or while running) and sometimes will go to slow-masticated vegetable juice for nutrients--but it's for the nutrients, not to feel full. To feel full and keep sugars in check, I go to baked tofu or fish. I bake a bunch at a time so it's ready to go when I need it. 

It's been years and Janelle still cannot figure out what works for her. I think it's sheer laziness and a lack of determination. Everything she does is half-hearted or some kind of quick-fix which never works. What's next after tahini shakes, Janelle? 

As a side-note, I miss the breakfast choices when I was working in Israel. It was so healthy (veggies and fish and olives were my favorites). 

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41 minutes ago, Kbo said:

Robyn’s outfit looks so matronly. She’s the youngest of the four but she doesn’t dress like it.  The hair doesn’t help, either. Clinton and Stacy would have a field day with this group - I would pay money to see that, I kid you not!

Robyn is the only one that seems to still subscribe to the "modest is hottest" theory.  Even in the LV desert heat, I have never seen her in a neckline below the collar bone or sleeves above the elbow.  At least they have all given up on the sausage casing layers of tee shirts, so there's that. 

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Love your thoughts @TurtlePower

I myself am not a big smoothie fan - I'm one of those folks that feel based on personal experience that what really counts is calorie/macronutrient intake. I read a bit of that Joyful Belly website and let's just say that I'm no expert and there MIGHT be something to it as far as food allergies - but it's still intake/outtake.  For the most part, smoothies are just healthy sounding milkshakes. IMO. 

My feeling is that Janelle is looking for the magic bullet (not the blender!) which is what she's been doing all this time (even when she was working with Sean - who tried to get her on a diet where she actually counts macros and calories) OR alternatively trying to find an excuse for her weight other than the probability that she just eats too damn much.

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11 minutes ago, DakotaJustice said:

I myself am not a big smoothie fan - I'm one of those folks that feel based on personal experience that what really counts is calorie/macronutrient intake. I read a bit of that Joyful Belly website and let's just say that I'm no expert and there MIGHT be something to it as far as food allergies - but it's still intake/outtake.  For the most part, smoothies are just healthy sounding milkshakes. IMO. 

My feeling is that Janelle is looking for the magic bullet (not the blender!) which is what she's been doing all this time (even when she was working with Sean - who tried to get her on a diet where she actually counts macros and calories) OR alternatively trying to find an excuse for her weight other than the probability that she just eats too damn much.

My breakfast is primarily fruit and yogurt smoothies, and yes, they really are like healthy milkshakes.  (I could tell you what ROCK STARS fiber and flax seeds are to make them last all morning.  I could also tell you the secret is using real fruit - either fresh or frozen.  Think I could get people to give me money every month for great advice like this?)  Green smoothies are a trend that has been around for several years so Janelle is not exactly cutting edge on the nutrition front here.  But, while it is indeed healthful to have a nutritious meal for breakfast it isn't going to matter if you then follow that up by eating out several times a week - especially if "eating out" consists of going through the drive-through.

And she just hit 50.  Are we now going to hear how she can't lose weight because of menopause hormones?  Or are we going to be subject to all the "nutrition" advice she googled about ways to naturally help with symptoms?  

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I wonder if Kootie did Janelle a "favor" (so to speak) on her birthday?  Sorry for the mental picture.

Yep.  Now we'll hear excuses galore about why it's impossible to lose weight post-menopause.  It's harder, but if I can do it...eat less and move more.  It most often boils down to that.  

Christine has become the trophy wife in a frumpy foursome.  At least her LuLaNo fits her.  Robyn and Meri have NOT aged well.  

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56 minutes ago, DakotaJustice said:

Love your thoughts @TurtlePower

I myself am not a big smoothie fan - I'm one of those folks that feel based on personal experience that what really counts is calorie/macronutrient intake. I read a bit of that Joyful Belly website and let's just say that I'm no expert and there MIGHT be something to it as far as food allergies - but it's still intake/outtake.  For the most part, smoothies are just healthy sounding milkshakes. IMO. 

My feeling is that Janelle is looking for the magic bullet (not the blender!) which is what she's been doing all this time (even when she was working with Sean - who tried to get her on a diet where she actually counts macros and calories) OR alternatively trying to find an excuse for her weight other than the probability that she just eats too damn much.

And like I've said before - I think all of Janelle's "healthy eating" is so unsatisfying she follows it with a bag of Fritos.

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1 hour ago, TurtlePower said:

She says her smoothies don't stick with her. Janelle, TRY SOMETHING ELSE! On the one hand, I get smoothies.

If she wants to put something in a smoothie that will stick with her, she should try a scoop or two of protein powder specifically designed to curb appetite.  I have had great success with that.  I like the GNC brand myself.

36 minutes ago, DaphneCat said:

And she just hit 50.  Are we now going to hear how she can't lose weight because of menopause hormones?  Or are we going to be subject to all the "nutrition" advice she googled about ways to naturally help with symptoms?  

I know!  I was just thinking the same thing.  If she thinks it's hard to lose weight at 50, just wait until she's my age (60)!  The menopause hormones are a real thing, though.  I can attest to that problem.  I never even had a weight issue until then, then suddenly it became impossible to keep my weight down or lose it unless I go on a severely restricted diet, like under 1000 calories a day, which is extremely hard to do and not really good for you for extended periods.  Then as soon as I go above that severe amount I gain.  Meanwhile I'm walking at least 5,000 steps per day and doing intermittent fasts, etc.  It's extremely difficult.

Also, the sad truth is that once you've gained extra weight it becomes incredibly difficult to lose and keep it off.  It's like your body reprograms itself to "the new normal" of a higher weight and even after losing it, the body wants to creep up no matter what you do.  And it becomes even worse with age.

So I feel her pain, but what bugs me about Janelle is that she is not honest nor open about what her weight loss issues are.  She presents herself as some kind of half-assed "health coach" but in addition to not being very good at it, she is not transparent at all about what her medical and other issues are.  I don't even know if she is aware of what those issues are.  So it's hard to take her seriously or respect her and I don't even really expect her to address the menopause issue.   As usual, she will keep everything genuine about herself inside.

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13 hours ago, ginger90 said:

A3719ADA-0194-4544-87D6-516239C9C9F9.jpeg

After seeing this picture I realized that there is no way this family will break up. Any drama in that department is manufactured by the Browns for the show. Okay, Meri may have had a moment of insanity with a banana but she is over it now. No one is leaving anyone!

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Smoothies go straight through your system.  We don't get the same level of satiety from liquids that we do from solid food.  Plus your body really needs to digest the foods we consume.  

A tip my doctor told me.  You need to reduce you calories by about 200.  Then after a few weeks, reduce it 200 more, etc.  So on and so on.  He also said, number 1 thing is you are going to be hungry, number two, yes you are going to be hungry a lot those first few weeks  or month.  Eventually your body will get used to it.  

Yes menopause makes it almost impossible to lose weight.  Cut out all sugars, dairy, grains and even my favorite beans/legumes.  

She has to want to lose it bad enough to do what it's going to take.  Can only imagine how the black bean/spinach/tahini one tasted.  

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