Janelle Brown: Smarter Than Your Average Brown (Maybe)

[itsadryheat]

What's so frustrating with Janelle is she expects people to believe what she says, not what we see.There are plenty of niches she could fit into in the health weight loss industry and achieve some degree of success. Heck go work for weight watchers, be a coach or better yet, a spokesperson (HA!🤣) 

She seems depressed to me. Definitely checked out, low key, non motivated, flailing. The word lazy comes up, but I'm not ready to bestow that label . . . yet. She seemed content in that rennel, so having to move yet again would depress me. The last thing she exudes is anything close to motivating, health, or sales/mlm/plexus. The only time I remember her showing a bit of "energy" was during the meal at the mount, when Meri threw her under the bus and manipulator Robyn fake cried prompting her to leap out of her chair to comfort her. I guess she also showed a little edge to her during her covid conversation with kody brown when she told him to not come over. Other than that, the image that best describes her energy level to me is Janelle in the camp chair while Christine becomes emotional. Weird, Robyn gets a leap for fake emoting while the sister wife that raised her kids gets a seated yoga pose, head turned the other direction, eyes closed. 

Of all these 5 cartoon characters, Janelle seems the most stuck as a person. My wish for her is to move closer to Maddie and her kids. She should start a weekly relationship with a really competent therapist, but anything but "superficial" health isn't something these people believe in. It's only a storyline or sales speak to use while mlm'ing.

 

 

Edited June 3, 2021 by itsadryheat

[Grifter Lives]

9 hours ago, laurakaye said:

Her post was actually decently-written (for a change) and something a lot of people can probably relate to if they're embarking on a new gym membership - but not someone who has been to gyms off and on for the past 20 years and purports to be a health coach!  Putting yourself out there and going to a gym or a yoga studio can certainly be intimidating, for sure - but after awhile you begin to understand that no one is looking at you or judging you, they are too busy doing their own thing.  This knowledge comes with age and experience, and Janelle has both.  It's like she is putting these excuses out there to convince herself not to do the hard things so when she doesn't lose the weight (ever), she can fall back on those ready-made reasons for why nothing works for her.

It read well superficially, but her post was illogical, contradictory and sister-wife passive-aggressive. 

She said that she dreaded returning to a gym that she loves, knowing that she lost so much fitness in a month that she wouldn't keep up with the class and thus would look ridiculous.  Instead, the instructors welcomed, guided and encouraged her, and the other members were friendly.  That's because she joined a small, local gym. 

In contrast, she advises all her minion-followers that they will have to hunt long and hard for a comfortable gym themselves.  Of course, nobody in any gym will pay attention to them, anyway, because everyone is so absorbed in their own work-outs.  

Bottom Line: Everyone in her gym yearned for and celebrated Z-List Janelle's return, but everyone who reads the post should expect that nobody in their long-sought gym would even know or care that they exist.

I agree that she appears depressed.  Maybe her gym is the only place where she feels part of a community.  But, her message should have been along the lines of, "I feared the worst, which was ridiculous, because once there, I was welcomed and left exhilarated, eager to return (and restore my routine)." 

[ginger90]

[monagatuna]

That actually looks marginally edible (maybe because she hasn't plated it yet?)...but what is it? Some sort of meat? Kinda looks like chicken but it's hard to tell.

[itsadryheat]

13 hours ago, Grifter Lives said:

Of course, nobody in any gym will pay attention to them, anyway, because everyone is so absorbed in their own work-outs.

100% true. Been enjoying gyms my entire life. Clears the busy mind, keeps the old bod somewhat fit and allows me to eat, drink, and be merry. No matter how many people are in the facility, its very quiet, sans music and weight clinking. Nobody talks, most all have headsets, earbuds. It is definitely a group experience done in isolation. Classes are different as there is some degree of camaraderie.

She "says" she has been frequenting gyms for a long time, so certainly Janelle knows this. She also knows unless you are a true gym rat, working out ebbs and flows with life. She seemed to be channeling her hidden Eeyore while writing her post. I'm with Laurakaye.

On 6/3/2021 at 8:09 AM, laurakaye said:

It's like she is putting these excuses out there to convince herself not to do the hard things so when she doesn't lose the weight (ever), she can fall back on those ready-made reasons for why nothing works for her.

Janellle should use kody brown as a motivator.

 

[laurakaye]

He looks like such a massive tool in that photo.  From the pose to the eyes closed in blissful namaste to the shoes to his stupid hair in desperate need of some Clairol and a flamethrower....I'm sure he thinks he looks smokin' hawt.

I remain gobsmacked that four women still seem to want him.

[iwantcookies]

@laurakaye want to murder him... Have sexy times with not so much. 

[Sandy W]

Who's house is that where Kody is demonstrating his fitness skills?

It's hmm, errr, ummm....colorful.

[Grifter Lives]

29 minutes ago, Sandy W said:

Who's house is that where Kody is demonstrating his fitness skills?

It's hmm, errr, ummm....colorful.

Christine's - Maybe she decorated with her rose-colored glasses on.  I believe that he's in her master bedroom.

[Sandy W]

11 minutes ago, Grifter Lives said:

Christine's - Maybe she decorated with her rose-colored glasses on.  I believe that he's in her master bedroom.

Going for the "puddled drape" effect I see, and falling a little short.  

Another pet peeve, those that don't bother to close dresser drawers.  She may have been in a mad scramble to find something enticing to wear once she had him captive in her boudoir.

[ginger90]

[xwordfanatik]

2 hours ago, Sandy W said:

Going for the "puddled drape" effect I see, and falling a little short.  

Another pet peeve, those that don't bother to close dresser drawers.  She may have been in a mad scramble to find something enticing to wear once she had him captive in her boudoir.

I hate that, too!

I wonder if LuLaNo has enticing seductive nightwear?  Christine should try VS.  Worked for Robyn!

[iwantcookies]

43 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

 

I wonder if LuLaNo has enticing seductive nightwear?  

Not really 🤣. 
 

 

[Joan of Argh]

 

5 hours ago, iwantcookies said:

@laurakaye want to murder him... Have sexy times with not so much. 

Hahahahahaaaa!! 😂

what’s that game?
Marry/ F*CK/ Kill

I’m thinking the ONLY way kody gets out of the “KILL” category is if he’s up against Charles Manson and Adolf Hitler 

 

 

[Joan of Argh]

Whenever they show the various wives homes it always looks like Meri, Janelle and Christine still have that same cheap rent to own furniture that they got as a pkg deal with the Vegas McMansions..... but Robyn has some new nicer pieces in with her original Vegas furniture.

she takes the cake, she has the best house, the best furniture and the best wardrobe... have we ever seen Robyn wear lularot?

[Sandy W]

19 minutes ago, Joan of Argh said:

Whenever they show the various wives homes it always looks like Meri, Janelle and Christine still have that same cheap rent to own furniture that they got as a pkg deal with the Vegas McMansions..... but Robyn has some new nicer pieces in with her original Vegas furniture.

she takes the cake, she has the best house, the best furniture and the best wardrobe... have we ever seen Robyn wear lularot?

I'm not positive, but I think her Flagstaff house came fully furnished.  I still can't forgive Robyn for those pretentious "throne chairs" with the extreme high backs and I think they are still kicking around in the new Flagstaff house.

[monagatuna]

48 minutes ago, Sandy W said:

I'm not positive, but I think her Flagstaff house came fully furnished.  I still can't forgive Robyn for those pretentious "throne chairs" with the extreme high backs and I think they are still kicking around in the new Flagstaff house.

I saw those things for the first time originally on a rewatch and paused to make my wife see them. How ridiculous do you have to be to think those things are a good idea?! That's the kind of thing you rent for a little kid's royalty-themed birthday party, not buy for your house! I could almost excuse the LIVE LAUGH LOVE word art they have all around because a lot of people are into that sort of thing, but I have literally never seen a chair like that in any sort of serious setting.

[DakotaJustice]

5 minutes ago, monagatuna said:

I saw those things for the first time originally on a rewatch and paused to make my wife see them. How ridiculous do you have to be to think those things are a good idea?! That's the kind of thing you rent for a little kid's royalty-themed birthday party, not buy for your house! I could almost excuse the LIVE LAUGH LOVE word art they have all around because a lot of people are into that sort of thing, but I have literally never seen a chair like that in any sort of serious setting.

Lord Tacky of Flagstaff, I presume?

[Joan of Argh]

1 hour ago, Sandy W said:

I'm not positive, but I think her Flagstaff house came fully furnished.  I still can't forgive Robyn for those pretentious "throne chairs" with the extreme high backs and I think they are still kicking around in the new Flagstaff house.

They don’t even look comfortable.... the Browns have the worst taste in decor.... Janelle and her horses with fire blowing out of their asses... I’d be running too! 😂

[Joan of Argh]

Janelles horses with ass fire 🔥😂

(ya I know it’s supposed to be tails but it looks more like ass fire)

[deirdra]

Janelles horses with ass fire 🔥😂  Indeed!  I've done a lot of field work near ranches with horses running free together in fields, and wild horses on crown land, yet I have never seen tails that look like that ass fire!

[LilyD]

10 hours ago, Joan of Argh said:

Whenever they show the various wives homes it always looks like Meri, Janelle and Christine still have that same cheap rent to own furniture that they got as a pkg deal with the Vegas McMansions.....

To me, it always looked like they randomly collected the cheapest stuff from thrift stores.. It didn't matter what it looked like, as long as it came cheap. 

[TurtlePower]

21 hours ago, laurakaye said:

He looks like such a massive tool in that photo.  From the pose to the eyes closed in blissful namaste to the shoes to his stupid hair in desperate need of some Clairol and a flamethrower....I'm sure he thinks he looks smokin' hawt.

I remain gobsmacked that four women still seem to want him.

Regardless of how ridiculous he looks or how much we dislike him, he appears to be the only one in the family who takes working out somewhat seriously. He got rid of that belly he had, which is more than the rest of ‘em are doing. 

[iwantcookies]

12 hours ago, Joan of Argh said:

Janelles horses with ass fire 🔥😂

(ya I know it’s supposed to be tails but it looks more like ass fire)

The horses had Jenelle’s cooking and now have burning diarrhea!

[ginger90]

1 hour ago, iwantcookies said:

The horses had Jenelle’s cooking and now have burning diarrhea!

Digestive issues running rampant!

[ginger90]

This is just part of the post. The rest is Plexus blah, blah, blah.

Perhaps there’s been a change, but I thought MLM posts were not allowed on Facebook?

[iwantcookies]

Show us the body pictures 🙄. Showing your face doesn’t prove that you lost weight. She needs to wear make up she is so pale. Her selfies are terrible.

 

[Teafortwo]

Omigosh I clicked Janelle's cameo link on her Instagram bio and wow. She has 3 samples of her "shoutouts" and one is to someone getting married and it's just like the toast she gave at Maddie and Caleb's wedding. "You'll have ups and downs. The most important thing is to stick it out. Commitmemt."  I mean that's true I guess about ups and downs but what a thing to say! Especially in what is supposed to be a celebratory cameo! I mean she could say the most important thing is listening to each other, or supporting one another through good times and bad but no! Eeyore leads with the negative as always. 

[Teafortwo]

5 hours ago, TurtlePower said:

Regardless of how ridiculous he looks or how much we dislike him, he appears to be the only one in the family who takes working out somewhat seriously. He got rid of that belly he had, which is more than the rest of ‘em are doing. 

Yes but check out the belly in Ysabel's graduation photo with her parents (she and Christine look beautiful btw).

[Teafortwo]

23 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Right, because making your teenage daughter your accountability partner is appropriate. 

[deirdra]

"Addressing the things your body is missing" is important, but you also must eliminate the junk.  A Pink Drink won't eliminate the damage caused by a family size bag of Doritos.   

[DakotaJustice]

Inflammation weight, my ass. 

[Just Wondering]

On 6/4/2021 at 4:24 PM, ginger90 said:

Kody never swings by to take her to the gym with him?

[DakotaJustice]

17 hours ago, ginger90 said:

This is just part of the post. The rest is Plexus blah, blah, blah.

Perhaps there’s been a change, but I thought MLM posts were not allowed on Facebook?

This doesn't sound like her "voice". When has she addressed readers as "Friends"? 

I'm guessing it's a Plexus script. 

And if you look at the photo with Savannah (whose face appears to be getting rounder) you can see that she isn't telling the truth. Also the bottle she's holding is hiding part of her face and makes her look less round. She's drawn in eyebrows, making her face appear smaller. Just some observations.

[iwantcookies]

🤣🤣🤣 snorts 🤣🤣🤣

[xwordfanatik]

Gee whiz, I didn't know broccoli was food!  Thanks, diet guru Janelle!

She's so weird.

[Grifter Lives]

53 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

Gee whiz, I didn't know broccoli was food!  Thanks, diet guru Janelle!

She's so weird.

Weird is putting it nicely.   She gives instructions and ingredients for rockstar air-fryer broccoli (i.e., a recipe), and then writes, "I don't follow recipe."

[absolutelyido]

On 6/5/2021 at 3:43 PM, ginger90 said:

This is just part of the post. The rest is Plexus blah, blah, blah.

Perhaps there’s been a change, but I thought MLM posts were not allowed on Facebook?

What the heck is inflammation weight anyway? Does she mean water weight?

[iwantcookies]

4 hours ago, absolutelyido said:

What the heck is inflammation weight anyway? Does she mean water weight?

Family size bags of chips 🤷‍♀️ 

[Dustbunny]

On 6/4/2021 at 2:54 AM, ginger90 said:

that looks like shoe leather or the Lindow bog man..... either way I don't want to eat it 😫

 

[skipnjump]

17 hours ago, xwordfanatik said:

Gee whiz, I didn't know broccoli was food!  Thanks, diet guru Janelle!

She's so weird.

I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she meant to type "good" instead of "food" and didn't bother to proofread.

[ginger90]

[Cetacean]

Please stop showing us pictures of food, Janelle, Please, please, please.  You cannot take an appetizing picture to save your life, there is a skill to taking pictures of food and you do not have it.  Food pictures with your phone are a major fail for pretty much everyone.

Restaurants much cringe when people take pictures of their plates and then post them.  I had a friend that was a professional photographer hired to do food shoots - he had as much camera equipment, lights, filters, etc as any fashion photographer.  It's a skill.

[TurtlePower]

On 6/5/2021 at 2:49 PM, iwantcookies said:

Show us the body pictures 🙄. Showing your face doesn’t prove that you lost weight. She needs to wear make up she is so pale. Her selfies are terrible.

 

Exactly. You can angle your face and use better lighting to make it appear more slender. 

At least she doesn’t edit the shit out of them like Meri. I’ll give Janelle points for that. 

[ginger90]

These are from the live she mentioned in her post. They’re screenshots from video:

 

[Teafortwo]

20 hours ago, xwordfanatik said:

Gee whiz, I didn't know broccoli was food!  Thanks, diet guru Janelle!

She's so weird.

I just realized food is a typo! She likely meant to say It's good!

[xwordfanatik]

5 minutes ago, Teafortwo said:

I just realized food is a typo! She likely meant to say It's good!

I kind of figured that.  I like being a smartass when these D-listers don't proof what they post!

ETA:  I'm still laughing at "ass fire."  Kudos, Joan! 😍

Edited June 7, 2021 by xwordfanatik
add a thought

[laurakaye]

2 hours ago, Cetacean said:

Please stop showing us pictures of food, Janelle, Please, please, please.  You cannot take an appetizing picture to save your life, there is a skill to taking pictures of food and you do not have it.  Food pictures with your phone are a major fail for pretty much everyone.

And while we're on the topic, if she doesn't post those pictures, she doesn't have to attempt to explain what we're looking at.  Most of the time I would say that food is self-explanatory.  With Janelle, it's all "Made chicken!  Used some kind of sauce - barbeque, I think it's called?  With mustard, which I think comes from South Carolina?  Did you know that you can put barbeque sauce on chicken?  Also, not pictured - I swear I had a healthy green salad using all the leftover veggies in my fridge that were crammed the gallon jug of Hawaiian Punch and the package of Double-Stuffed Oreos.  I only used a half-cup of ranch dressing and it turned out just fine!  You can minimize calories by not using the entire bottle!  Hey, I wonder if chicken tastes good dipped in ranch?  If you find a good recipe let me know!"

[Teafortwo]

35 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

I kind of figured that.  I like being a smartass when these D-listers don't proof what they post!

ETA:  I'm still laughing at "ass fire."  Kudos, Joan! 😍

Yes "ass fire" is hilarious @joanofargh! Remember Ariba Ariba had it, too!

[Joan of Argh]

6 hours ago, ginger90 said:

These are from the live she mentioned in her post. They’re screenshots from video:

 

Is that a huge pimple on her cheek?... it looks like a volcano that’s ready to blow it’s top!

grab your rain ponchos, eye goggles and a hat!! 🌋