Janelle Brown: Smarter Than Your Average Brown (Maybe)

[DakotaJustice]

I think it's safe to say that Janelle isn't getting laid. 

[Irate Panda]

14 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

How old is she?  She looks like a cougar!  Maybe it's the picture???

She’s 20, I think they both look older than they are, but no where near 40 🙂 I think they seem like a cute couple.  I always wonder how Janelle or the other parents treat the girlfriends of their kids. Besides Tony, they seem to treat the boyfriends now husbands well.

Edited September 12, 2019 by Irate Panda
Autocorrect loves to add apostrophes

[Fosca]

Maybe Janelle is a "perfectionist" in that if she can't do it perfectly, she doesn't do it at all.  Like clean, stick to an exercise routine, etc.

[YupItsMe]

10 hours ago, Fosca said:

Maybe Janelle is a "perfectionist" in that if she can't do it perfectly, she doesn't do it at all.  Like clean, stick to an exercise routine, etc.

Oh, haha, that’s going to be my excuse from now on. 😁

[deirdra]

On 9/11/2019 at 8:03 PM, Pickleinthemiddle said:

I don't think she looks any older than  Robert.  Possibly her facial features make her look older.  

Her eyes look like a weary 40 yr old's and her eyebrows look like something out of the 1940s.  But the rest of her looks like a 20 yr old "snack", according to Robert Garrison.

[DakotaJustice]

15 minutes ago, deirdra said:

Her eyes look like a weary 40 yr old's and her eyebrows look like something out of the 1940s.  But the rest of her looks like a 20 yr old "snack", according to Robert Garrison.

Yeah, she should probably dial down the makeup a tad.

[Irate Panda]

I really don’t think the the gf overdoes the makeup.  I think she just has heavy eyebrows that have an extreme arch.  This family and eyebrows, what’s the deal, but I do think she looks tired.  Overall, I think they are a very cute couple.  

Now back on point, what in the world is going on with Janelle in that picture?  I think of all the wives Janelle confuses me the most.  She was the one that could actually support herself before all her children anyway. For anyone that read the book, did the ever explain how Janelle made the jump from sister-in-law to sister wife?  I’m know the wife (Meri) was suppose to initiate this but why pick Janelle?  Janelle has/had some book smarts but seems totally checked out in her life.  I wonder once the show is over or her youngest kids are gone, whichever comes first if she will go live in a tent in Maddie’s backyard and babysit Axel and the other kid or at the very least feed them more canned cabbage or some other rockstar ingredients.  

[DakotaJustice]

14 minutes ago, Irate Panda said:

I really don’t think the the gf overdoes the makeup.  I think she just has heavy eyebrows that have an extreme arch.  This family and eyebrows, what’s the deal, but I do think she looks tired.  Overall, I think they are a very cute couple.  

Now back on point, what in the world is going on with Janelle in that picture?  I think of all the wives Janelle confuses me the most.  She was the one that could actually support herself before all her children anyway. For anyone that read the book, did the ever explain how Janelle made the jump from sister-in-law to sister wife?  I’m know the wife (Meri) was suppose to initiate this but why pick Janelle?  Janelle has/had some book smarts but seems totally checked out in her life.  I wonder once the show is over or her youngest kids are gone, whichever comes first if she will go live in a tent in Maddie’s backyard and babysit Axel and the other kid or at the very least feed them more canned cabbage or some other rockstar ingredients.  

I just think with the lipstick job (such as it is) and the shape of her mouth at that moment, reminds me of what a proctologist usually sees in a work day. 

Ugh. 

The book pretties it up, but basically when Janelle first met the Kodester, she was married to Meri's brother but felt an immediate attraction for him. So she divorced the brother, knowing that Kody and Meri had stated he was going to have additional wives, made herself available to him, they started having lunch together (without Meri) and that was that. 

Im convinced that Meri never wanted sister wives to begin with, she just agreed to it to get Kody. That said I'm certain she didn't want JANELLE as a sister wife at ALL. They hate each other. 

Edited September 14, 2019 by DakotaJustice

[Irate Panda]

1 hour ago, DakotaJustice said:

I just think with the lipstick job (such as it is) and the shape of her mouth at that moment, reminds me of what a proctologist usually sees in a work day. 

Ugh. 

The book pretties it up, but basically when Janelle first met the Kodester, she was married to Meri's brother but felt an immediate attraction for him. So she divorced the brother, knowing that Kody and Meri had stated he was going to have additional wives, made herself available to him, they started having lunch together (without Meri) and that was that. 

Im convinced that Meri never wanted sister wives to begin with, she just agreed to it to get Kody. That said I'm certain she didn't want JANELLE as a sister wife at ALL. They hate each other. 

Thanks for the info...didn’t they say on the show the wife is suppose to find the other women or did I misunderstand that?  So basically Janelle was just hot for Kody and Kody was jazzed about it.

[Roslyn]

2 hours ago, Irate Panda said:

Now back on point, what in the world is going on with Janelle in that picture?  I think of all the wives Janelle confuses me the most.  She was the one that could actually support herself before all her children anyway. For anyone that read the book, did the ever explain how Janelle made the jump from sister-in-law to sister wife?  I’m know the wife (Meri) was suppose to initiate this but why pick Janelle?  Janelle has/had some book smarts but seems totally checked out in her life.  I wonder once the show is over or her youngest kids are gone, whichever comes first if she will go live in a tent in Maddie’s backyard and babysit Axel and the other kid or at the very least feed them more canned cabbage or some other rockstar ingredients.  

Even from the beginning their narrative never fully lined up.  They clearly stated on the first or second episode of the show that it was Meri or organized the whole thing.  Janelle said something like "Meri is in mergers and acquisitions..." oh hehe, laugh laugh, isn't that funny.  Yet not long after their book came out and it painted a different picture.  Janelle told the story of when she very first saw Kody and how this divine power struck her and she felt "like she had forgotten something".  Whatever the hell that means.  If you put two and two together, she was likely married to Meri's brother at the time, as DakotaJ mentioned.  They aren't nailed down definite about the exact timeline.  Janelle was married and divorced within a year because her husband wasn't spiritual enough for her.  Yet there is a three year span between Kody/Meri being married and Janelle "marrying" Kody.  Fun tidbit...the original date for the union between Kody and Janelle was planned for Meri's birthday.  Naturally no one thought a thing of it, but Meri pointed out how upset she was and they then moved the day...to the next day.  🙄

Meri agreed to polygamy because she had to to get her man.  He was a fresh convert and had many discussions with Meri's father and the only way her father would let her marry him was if he agreed to polygamy.  The only way she could marry him was to agree to polygamy.  Janelle wanted Kody. Period. She converted from mainstream LDS so she could get the man she wanted.  It took three years and it has never been stated exactly when she married/divorced and when she started "having lunches alone" with Kody. 

Christine made it pretty clear, she had decided as a young girl she only wanted to be a third wife, she didn't want the pain of having anyone come after her (it sucks because she got hit the hardest by Robyn because of that) and she wanted Kody as well.  So much that she sat around waiting until he got himself two wives and then bingo she put her talons in him. 

[Galloway Cave]

1 hour ago, Irate Panda said:

didn’t they say on the show the wife is suppose to find the other women or did I misunderstand that?

It depends on the sect. In most, the guy gets struck in the head by God or something, and he is told to find a wife. In a few, the wives find the next sheep. In the Brown's sect, AUB, the men make the decision. I think the Browns like to say the wives select the next wife because it is more palatable for national TV. Meri has said she brought Robyn into the family, but Robyn's family members who posted at Sister Wives Blog said Robyn set her sight on Kodouche when the community found out he was getting a show. 

[DakotaJustice]

1 hour ago, Irate Panda said:

Thanks for the info...didn’t they say on the show the wife is suppose to find the other women or did I misunderstand that?  So basically Janelle was just hot for Kody and Kody was jazzed about it.

Also I forgot to add that Kody was Meri's one and only boyfriend. She never dated anyone else. 

[Sofa Sloth]

29 minutes ago, Galloway Cave said:

 Meri has said she brought Robyn into the family, but Robyn's family members who posted at Sister Wives Blog said Robyn set her sight on Kodouche when the community found out he was getting a show. 

Interesting! I’d always figured that’s how it went down and she was in her trailer with her 3 mouths to feed, trying to figure out a way to get a mansion and along comes a convenient meal ticket, but cool to get confirmation. Is that CJ’s blog you saw this? 

[Galloway Cave]

15 minutes ago, Sofa Sloth said:

Is that CJ’s blog you saw this? 

It is from the old Sister Wives Blog, were Cj was a co-mod. The owner of the blog had to close it down due to personal reasons. Later CJ opened her own blog, Cynical Jinx' Living Room. You can read the SWB here.

[Sofa Sloth]

2 hours ago, Galloway Cave said:

It is from the old Sister Wives Blog, were Cj was a co-mod. The owner of the blog had to close it down due to personal reasons. Later CJ opened her own blog, Cynical Jinx' Living Room. You can read the SWB here.

Thank you! as soon as I asked that remembered which one it was and that she left it with another mod in ‘13 and  started fresh. Was always a great read, I miss her recaps and the interesting Plyg insight 😃 I wish we could drag her out of (seemingly) sister wives retirement, but do I totally understand if she’s had enough of these asshats. 

Edited September 14, 2019 by Sofa Sloth

[Higgins]

On 9/12/2019 at 11:44 AM, Fosca said:

Maybe Janelle is a "perfectionist" in that if she can't do it perfectly, she doesn't do it at all.  Like clean, stick to an exercise routine, etc.

That's actually a thing. 

[Roslyn]

13 hours ago, DakotaJustice said:

Also I forgot to add that Kody was Meri's one and only boyfriend. She never dated anyone else. 

To add onto this tidbit...Meri also told the story of how she was so shy and unnoticeable within her own community that once she was on the arm of outgoing Kody, people then noticed her but didn't know that she had been a part of their community all along.

[Pickleinthemiddle]

4 hours ago, Roslyn said:

To add onto this tidbit...Meri also told the story of how she was so shy and unnoticeable within her own community that once she was on the arm of outgoing Kody, people then noticed her but didn't know that she had been a part of their community all along.

My guess is there were other suitors not to her satisfaction.  I think once she set her sights on Kody it was a done deal.

I've read other books about women in the AUB and all were approached by multiple people or just told by their fathers,  that you are going to marry this man.  

[DakotaJustice]

21 minutes ago, Pickleinthemiddle said:

My guess is there were other suitors not to her satisfaction.  I think once she set her sights on Kody it was a done deal.

I've read other books about women in the AUB and all were approached by multiple people or just told by their fathers,  that you are going to marry this man.  

Right from the book: 

“I first noticed Kody at church...I was eighteen, and I’d never been courted by a guy before. Shoot, I was so quiet that I’d probably never even been noticed by a guy before! So nothing of a romantic nature crossed my mind during that first meeting.”

And

“I walked in the door and there was Kody, sitting on the couch! He said, “Hi, Meri! You’re the Meri my sister is always talking about.”
I was shocked that he knew my name. I was used to my friends getting all the guys while I went pretty much unnoticed. It was good to be seen for once and not to be overlooked for my shyness.”

[TurtlePower]

17 hours ago, DakotaJustice said:

Right from the book: 

“I first noticed Kody at church...I was eighteen, and I’d never been courted by a guy before. Shoot, I was so quiet that I’d probably never even been noticed by a guy before! So nothing of a romantic nature crossed my mind during that first meeting.”

And

“I walked in the door and there was Kody, sitting on the couch! He said, “Hi, Meri! You’re the Meri my sister is always talking about.”
I was shocked that he knew my name. I was used to my friends getting all the guys while I went pretty much unnoticed. It was good to be seen for once and not to be overlooked for my shyness.”

And I suspect once she got a taste, she didn’t want to let that go. Yet, we see it is gone. What we now have is an angry, tyrannical,  I-just-want-to-be-loved-and by-golly-I’ll-make-you Meri. 

And then there’s Janelle, who just seemed to give up. Polar opposite. No wonder they hate each other—it’s like the trifle Rachel made on “Friends”—those ingredients will NEVER work together. 

Edited September 15, 2019 by TurtlePower
Operator error, still didn’t work

[ginger90]

[TurtlePower]

10 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Oh lord! Really? Sounds to me like this coulda come straight from Whitney Thore—never mind a healthy diet. Let’s just accept each other so we can go eat that cake and not worry what it’s doing to us. 

[Roslyn]

11 minutes ago, TurtlePower said:

Oh lord! Really? Sounds to me like this coulda come straight from Whitney Thore—never mind a healthy diet. Let’s just accept each other so we can go eat that cake and not worry what it’s doing to us. 

Yep.  I have wondered if all this babble coming from Janelle isn't something similar to this.  Way back when she worked hard with the trainer that was on tv...Sean? We could actually see results from her and then he disappeared and she went right back to where she was in the beginning.

Now this Strive babbling crappola seems to be nothing more than a way to justify (and to use the Browns favorite word....validate) the fact that Janelle doesn't want to and isn't willing to put the work in again to gain results like last time.  Coupled with the fact that hubby love only has eyes for another, and only has time with others, she has nothing to do as her kids are mostly gone and mostly "raised by her".  She can just pile on three feet of snow job to brainwash herself that as long as she forces "rock star", "game changing" super douper power foods (no matter how bizarre) down her gullet (smoothies preferred) that she is "living a healthy lifestyle no matter what the physical result. 

What is really funny is that one person in the family that is looking better, losing weight and having results from something that they are doing...huh...that person is the ONE person who is not saying a damn word (publicly) about what they are doing/have done at all. 🙄

[deirdra]

Judging by that photo of kitty in her fridge, Christine seems to have dumped the tater tots and other carby junkfood and focuses on real food.  

[ginger90]

The only thing I’ve seen Christine mention, is that she’s eating for her blood type. 

[Kohola3]

1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

The only thing I’ve seen Christine mention, is that she’s eating for her blood type. 

One of my doctors recommeded that but my blood type makes it hard to eat that way.  One of the few meats I am allowed is mutton!

[xwordfanatik]

I'm with you, Kohola.  I have never eaten lamb, and don't intend to.  I never eat shellfish either.  Like one of my favorite movie lines, "don't eat anything that carries its house around with it.  Who knows the last time it was cleaned."  

Janelle will have excuses to kingdom come, to justify her not losing weight.  Why does she even still bother with Strive?  It's become just fodder for snark, if it's ever been anything else.

[Kohola3]

1 hour ago, xwordfanatik said:

I have never eaten lamb, and don't intend to.

Actually mutton is an older sheep. With that said, I refuse to eat baby anythings and mutton is hardly available in a store or butcher shop.  I am supposed to get my protein from tofu.  Ugh.

[Twopper]

1 hour ago, xwordfanatik said:

1 hour ago, xwordfanatik said:

Janelle will have excuses to kingdom come, to justify her not losing weight.  Why does she even still bother with Strive?  It's become just fodder for snark, if it's ever been anything else.

"If we stay close to our bodies..."   Okay, I realize Janelle is quoting someone, but that really makes no sense unless someone is into astral projection. 

There is no way I am eating for my blood type as I am supposed to eat mutton and not chicken.  I am supposed to avoid tomatoes which I eat daily and wheat and peanuts.  I am allergic to peanuts so that part isn't a problem. 

I haven't analyzed the diets, but I wonder if following them just results in eating a reduced number of calories per day which will, of course, cause weight loss in the average person .  Just cutting out wheat products helps with weight loss if you have had it as a regular part of your diet. 

[Kohola3]

16 minutes ago, Twopper said:

There is no way I am eating for my blood type as I am supposed to eat mutton and not chicken.

You must be AB as well.  Pretty restricted!

[Twopper]

1 minute ago, Kohola3 said:

You must be AB as well.  Pretty restricted!

I am B+, but the diets are similar.  Maybe because AB includes the restrictions for both A and B.   Bon appetit!!!!

[Pickleinthemiddle]

6 minutes ago, Twopper said:

I am B+, but the diets are similar.  Maybe because AB includes the restrictions for both A and B.   Bon appetit!!!!

I'm O, and I should be eating a paleo based diet.  The only meat on that list I would eat is the beef or cod.  I think you can eat other meats in limited amounts as long as they are not on the avoid list.  Still a messed up diet if you have to avoid food you love.

Well if it helps Janelle more power to her.  

[Kohola3]

If that diet is truly what caused Christine to drop all of that weight, then it's pretty impressive!  Not something I could follow, though. More power to her.

[Pickleinthemiddle]

2 hours ago, xwordfanatik said:

I have never eaten lamb, and don't intend to.

I've never tried it.  My dad said he has had it cooked by several different people.  He said it taste like a fatty mess of meat, even with the mint jelly.

[LoneWolf]

1 hour ago, Twopper said:

I haven't analyzed the diets, but I wonder if following them just results in eating a reduced number of calories per day which will, of course, cause weight loss in the average person . 

This is at the heart of EVERY diet or weight loss program. One can reduce calories by cutting out an entire food group, or (better option) reducing overall calories and eating balanced, healthy food. 

Whatever she's doing, Christine looks great. I'd like to see her take over Strive with Janelle. I bet Christine would be so much more effective, as she has had significant success and she's a great deal more positive than Janelle. 

[xwordfanatik]

I have type A blood type, and I have to admit, I've never looked at what that says I should eat.  What worked for me is gluten free, no dairy, lean protein, and lots of vegetables and fruit.  

Janelle just jumps at whatever "quick fix" she reads about online.  She buys a huge bag/bottle/can of whatever, eats/drinks it for a day or two, and goes on to the next magic pill.  I'm a Clueless Old Lady, but she takes the cake (and eats it!) where diet is concerned.

[DakotaJustice]

1 hour ago, Pickleinthemiddle said:

I've never tried it.  My dad said he has had it cooked by several different people.  He said it taste like a fatty mess of meat, even with the mint jelly.

I just flashed on the Seinfeld episode where Jerry's girlfriend feeds him mutton. Which he wrapped in napkins.

ETA link

Edited September 16, 2019 by DakotaJustice

[xwordfanatik]

19 minutes ago, DakotaJustice said:

I just flashed on the Seinfeld episode where Jerry's girlfriend feeds him mutton. Which he wrapped in napkins.

Hehe, now I just flashed on The Big Bang Theory episode where Sheldon says that Priah,(sp?) Leonard's GF, made him eat lamb that he said tasted like sweat.

[lookeyloo]

14 hours ago, xwordfanatik said:

I have type A blood type, and I have to admit, I've never looked at what that says I should eat.  What worked for me is gluten free, no dairy, lean protein, and lots of vegetables and fruit.  

Janelle just jumps at whatever "quick fix" she reads about online.  She buys a huge bag/bottle/can of whatever, eats/drinks it for a day or two, and goes on to the next magic pill.  I'm a Clueless Old Lady, but she takes the cake (and eats it!) where diet is concerned.

And do not forget the big bag of Fritos after every rockstar meal!!

[laurakaye]

On 9/13/2019 at 10:15 PM, Irate Panda said:

Thanks for the info...didn’t they say on the show the wife is suppose to find the other women or did I misunderstand that?  So basically Janelle was just hot for Kody and Kody was jazzed about it.

Yup.  Just add a healthy dose of self-loathing, peanut-butter Fritos and hair gel and you have their relationship recipe in a nutshell.

On 9/14/2019 at 6:08 PM, Pickleinthemiddle said:

My guess is there were other suitors not to her satisfaction.  I think once she set her sights on Kody it was a done deal.

As quoted from the SW book in an earlier post, Meri was a wallflower.  Kody turned on his cat-that-ate-the-canary charm and she was a goner.  Meri agreed to polygamy to keep the Kodester happy, but you know she thought she was going to birth dozens of lil' Kodys and Kodettes and live happily ever after lording her legal wife status over whoever else came into HER house.  I'm sure her boat was rocked pretty hard when, of all people, Janelle threw herself into Kody's path.  Perhaps Kody took pleasure in taking another man's wife right out from under him (so to speak)?  Clearly he knew Adam (being Meri's brother and all), maybe there was some tension/posturing there?  Who knows, but at that point Kody could count himself a real plyg manly-man.  Add plyg royalty Christine to the mix to solidify Kody's standings within the church, and two of the three wives popping out babies like Pez dispensers, and Kody could pound his chest all over Utah, proclaiming that his loins were fruitful and that he had three - count 'em, THREE - wimminz warm for his form.  Meri latched onto Robyn to piss off the wives that only had to glance at Kody to get knocked up and  - well, we all know how the story of the victorious Dark Wife went down.

Probably not quite what Meri thought she was gonna get after Kody flashed his Dentyne smile her way.  

Edited September 16, 2019 by laurakaye

[ginger90]

[DakotaJustice]

Digestion again? 

I'm laughing right now!!

[LilWharveyGal]

You know how Janelle could really make some money?

Janelle's Flavor of The Week TM Bingo Cards, or maybe Roulette.  Guess the next Rock Star and win a prize!  I didn't see cardamom coming.  I've been holding out for swiss chard or kefir.  (Chase with a cupcake and lemonade, natch.)

[Joan of Argh]

6 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Her fingernail is so ridgy...  looks very thin and brittle.

[Sandy W]

17 minutes ago, Joan of Argh said:

Her fingernail is so ridgy...  looks very thin and brittle.

And none too clean either.

Next up a Rock Star remedy for ridgy nails.

[laurakaye]

Whoa, Janelle, that's a pretty small bottle of cardamom.  Was the store out of the five gallon drums?

So she remembers cardamom being in her mom's spice cabinet but it was never used or talked about.  Okay...........?

Is she just always full of gas, all the time?  Maybe she should add cardamom to her canned cabbage.  I bet that would work.

[TurtlePower]

16 hours ago, LilWharveyGal said:

You know how Janelle could really make some money?

Janelle's Flavor of The Week TM Bingo Cards, or maybe Roulette.  Guess the next Rock Star and win a prize!  I didn't see cardamom coming.  I've been holding out for swiss chard or kefir.  (Chase with a cupcake and lemonade, natch.)

Kefir—I’ve been using this for 20 years and am working on fermenting a plant-based version. I can’t wait to see what she has to say about it when she “discovers” it some day (just like the other things that have been used for thousands of years). 

I can only imagine she won’t use it long enough to feel its benefits, nor will she understand prebiotics are necessary to keep her healthy gut bacteria well-fed. 

[Kbo]

17 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Words I never want to read again :  “mucous buildup” 🤮

[laurakaye]

@TurtlePower's official guess is "kefir" for the next Strive With Janelle Breakthrough digestion aid/rockstar/newly discovered food item that many, many people have been using for decades.

My guess is - let's see, she's done yoga, walking, nutmeg, ghee, peppermint, I think she did vegetables....has she done matcha yet?  That's my guess.

[DakotaJustice]

Okay so I cheated and googled spices for digestion and got this article. I'm going to say that she's going off a similar list and will use one of the spices she hasn't mentioned yet, as long as she can add them to coffee or a smoothie rather than (God forbid!) actually cook something. 

https://foodrevolution.org/blog/spices-for-digestion/

OTOH she might do a 180 and write about Metamucil and Ex-Lax.  (Do they still make the chocolate Ex-Lax? That sounds like a GAME CHANGER)

Edited September 18, 2019 by DakotaJustice