Leon Brown: So Here's Me

[Joan of Argh]

The dog looks like he's puking

[DaphneCat]

Of all the unflattering pictures she posts this is one of the worst.  Closing her eyes and sticking out her tongue does not make her look cute, adorable, quirky, funny, or any other flattering adjective she thinks applies.  It makes her look either demented or like she's trying to make fun of the intellectually disabled - not a great look for a future social worker.

[DakotaJustice]

Ugh! She's adopting every tired influencer trope.

[CouchTater]

Her fingers look short and stubby, like Mykelti's.  

[xwordfanatik]

DGIH, what an ugly picture.  WHY does she do this shit?  

I agree LWG, why is her ass suddenly in the frontal region?  I'd puke too, if I were that poor unfortunate dog.  

[Teafortwo]

6 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

DGIH, what an ugly picture.  WHY does she do this shit?  

I agree LWG, why is her ass suddenly in the frontal region?  I'd puke too, if I were that poor unfortunate dog.  

She did so much yoga she learned how to do a 180

[TurtlePower]

1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

Run run run? Really? Where is she running to, the vegan hot dog stand? 

Agree with the comment about her rear looking like it’s in the front. 

[VegasVixen]

3 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Holy B-I-F....I need a palette cleanser after seeing this...good lord. 

[Yeah No]

9 hours ago, laurakaye said:

So let's see, a plate of sugar/syrup/jam/butter french toast (five slices? Six?) and a  - what do  we think - large vanilla latte?  I mean, yeah - I would eat that, but then I would need to schedule a three-hour nap when my blood sugar spiked into the thousands and then took a nose-dive off a steep cliff.

I'm sure it's all vegan, though, and therefore good for you.

She's going to look like Janelle or worse in another decade even WITH the running if she continues to eat like that on a regular basis.  

3 hours ago, DakotaJustice said:

Ugh! She's adopting every tired influencer trope.

LOL, I've seen that photo before.  At least that woman has her eyes open and is actually doing something to warrant having her mouth open by putting food in it.  Our little Miss Snowflake is only doing it to look precious, and of course woke because there's a peace sign involved.  😝

Edited September 10, 2019 by Yeah No

[Sofa Sloth]

Guess it’s kind of fitting that her bum’s on backwards here, as so are her words - ‘Run, Run, Run’.  Run spelt backwards is Nur and this picture, of Lord Voldemort with her front bum on display is a Nur Nur Nur from me. 🙅🏼‍♀️

[Meowwww]

Ok Mariah.  Put the tongue and camel toe away.  

[laurakaye]

JUST when I think she can't possibly take a more unflattering picture of herself, she proves me wrong.  I quit!  Congrats, Mariah - you win this game every time!

[Roslyn]

Oh come ON ladies, put the hose down and pass the eye bleach!!

[TurtlePower]

11 hours ago, Yeah No said:

She's going to look like Janelle or worse in another decade even WITH the running if she continues to eat like that on a regular basis.  

  😝

First, I bet she’s not running THAT much. Many new runners think 3 miles is enough to burn off their giant brunch when it’s probably more like 8-10 miles. Second, as it pertains to running fitness, I suspect she doesn’t have the wherewithal to make serious running happen. 

As seasoned runner and former coach, her posts annoy me: “Lookit me I’m RUNNING! Running running running!”  Yeah, ok. You aren’t serious about this so, continue to goof off. Just stop pretending to be a serious runner, ok? 

Really, for all the yoga and “running” she does, she doesn’t look any fitter for her efforts. 

Go inhale a giant vegan brunch, poser. 

Edited September 10, 2019 by TurtlePower
Autoincorrect

[DakotaJustice]

33 minutes ago, TurtlePower said:

First, I bet she’s not running THAT much. Many new runners think 3 miles is enough to burn off their giant brunch when it’s probably more like 8-10 miles. Second, as it pertains to running fitness, I suspect she doesn’t have the wherewithal to make serious running happen. 

As seasoned runner and former coach, her posts annoy me: “Lookit me I’m RUNNING! Running running running!”  Yeah, ok. You aren’t serious about this so, continue to goof off. Just stop pretending to be a serious runner, ok? 

Really, for all the yoga and “running” she does, she doesn’t look any fitter for her efforts. 

Go inhale a giant vegan brunch, poser. 

Also as I've learned, a buttload of cardio doesn't really make up for inhaling way too many calories. 

I used to ride my road bike 100+ miles every weekend, participate in century rides etc. The rides I did had rest stations featuring yummy food - one ride is famous for its homebaked chocolate-chip cookies and seasoned baby red potatoes...I acquired a taste for oreos spread with peanut butter at the Ojai century ride. Mmmm. Of course I wasn't losing weight, and in fact was gaining weight until I really buckled down and cut the carbs and calories. 

[Yeah No]

52 minutes ago, DakotaJustice said:

Also as I've learned, a buttload of cardio doesn't really make up for inhaling way too many calories. 

I used to ride my road bike 100+ miles every weekend, participate in century rides etc. The rides I did had rest stations featuring yummy food - one ride is famous for its homebaked chocolate-chip cookies and seasoned baby red potatoes...I acquired a taste for oreos spread with peanut butter at the Ojai century ride. Mmmm. Of course I wasn't losing weight, and in fact was gaining weight until I really buckled down and cut the carbs and calories. 

I had a very similar experience in my 20s.  I used to do 60 mile bike rides on the weekends plus a few 20 mile rides after work on weekdays and was able to eat pretty much what I wanted without gaining weight.  Then again I didn't lose any either and I was still much thinner than she is at her age.  In the Winters I was in the gym several times a week to make up for the lack of bike riding.  When my life suddenly changed and I was no longer able to ride as much I had to scale way back on the food intake or the weight would pile on despite all the time I spent in the gym doing cardio and weight training.  But never was I ever eating the amount and type of fattening food Mariah has posted to her social media before or after that.

[ginger90]

[LilWharveyGal]

Dang, when I get cramps I have to pop some Advil and haul my @$$ to work.  I clearly haven't been living my best life.  (Or dying my feet orange.  What is going on there??)

And, "take a beat?"  Didn't she just let us know that yesterday was her fun day off?  A mere two weeks after summer break?

When the gravy train ends and real life hits this snowflake it is NOT going to be pretty.  

Edited September 10, 2019 by LilWharveyGal

[DakotaJustice]

"cute lil uterus"? 

[Nysha]

My cute lil uterus tried to kill me so the doctor yanked it out. 😁

[ginger90]

Hasn’t taken them off all summer. 🤢

So I clicked...... $98.00 .

[Kohola3]

First she's telling us about her lil old uterus (frankly, way TMI), then she's smelling her armpit, and then she hits us with the fact that she's worn one pair of moisture trapping pants all summer.  I bet there is no describing her "fragrance".  Makes me gag just thinking about it.

[VegasVixen]

Those pants better be made of gold if they're 100 dollars! How woke of her to buy 100 dollar pants. I can't fathom spending that kind of money on exercise pants. Most of my wardrobe came from Goodwill or Platos Closet so I must be out of the woke loop...Ha!

[xwordfanatik]

I hope Her Highness Wokey enjoyed inhaling her (no doubt) stinky armpit odor.  What a great way to treat oneself when one's cute uterus decides to shed itself.  

Gawd, Princess Pudge has no filter.  

[deirdra]

Wearing "Align Joggers" does not a runner make.

[Pickleinthemiddle]

23 hours ago, Yeah No said:

She's going to look like Janelle or worse in another decade even WITH the running if she continues to eat like that on a regular basis.  

LOL, I've seen that photo before.  At least that woman has her eyes open and is actually doing something to warrant having her mouth open by putting food in it.  Our little Miss Snowflake is only doing it to look precious, and of course woke because there's a peace sign involved.  😝

That meal probably had at least 700 calories, but I would guess more.  You would have to jog half the day to burn that off.

[Irate Panda]

Just wanted to say my cute lil fingernail told me I better never cover her with contact paper and my adorable lil uterus said she is personally boycotting anymore posts about Mariah’s cute lil uterus.  My slightly less adorable 20/20 eyes and curmudgeon of a brain hate us all for making them look at her ramblings so frequently.

[Jeanne222]

7 hours ago, ginger90 said:

I don't get it!  Why post a picture of yourself smelling a hairy armpit????

[LoneWolf]

On 9/6/2019 at 3:39 PM, Sofa Sloth said:

You can keep all that woke, philosophical, self-absorbed and sanctimonious waffle in that vast empty space, no one cares.

This might be my favourite sentence of all the Brown Snark sentences. 

[LoneWolf]

On 9/6/2019 at 4:06 PM, Kohola3 said:

Heaven help her if I ever actually run across her in person.  She's cruisin' for a bruisin'.

I SO want to see this--if I pay your hotel and airfare to Chicago can we make this bruise cruise happen? Pretty, pretty, pretty please? We can record it, post it here for all our snark friends, and go viral. 

[Sofa Sloth]

58 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

I don't get it!  Why post a picture of yourself smelling a hairy armpit????

Most normal folx wouldn’t get it, because most folx aren't narcissistic and self-absorbed to the extent that they think other people care about their mundane activities or body functions.

Most normal people also don’t post constant pictures of themselves looking like a unwashed, hairy, hot mess and expect them to be well received. She has zero humility or ability to understand, that she isn’t the gift to the world she perceives herself to be.

All women of a certain age get periods and most don’t have the luxury of checking out and sleeping in for a day, (nor would they think to post about it on social media). They also don’t need to be given advice by a 23 year old in a privileged position who’s barely lived. She really is something else...

Also this (now deleted of course) comment is gold! 😂 

Edited September 11, 2019 by Sofa Sloth

[Gramto6]

7 hours ago, Nysha said:

My cute lil uterus tried to kill me so the doctor yanked it out. 😁

Mine too! Years and years ago!

[DaphneCat]

11 minutes ago, Sofa Sloth said:

All women of a certain age get periods and most don’t have the luxury of checking out and sleeping in for a day, (nor would they think to post about it on social media)

This is why I hate social media.  EVERY SINGLE THING in your life is just so important you HAVE to share it.  Just think in a few years we can have Meri, Janelle and Christine all doing "I can top that" hot-flash stories.

[Sofa Sloth]

51 minutes ago, LoneWolf said:

This might be my favourite sentence of all the Brown Snark sentences. 

Wowsers! Thanks for the recognition! there’s amazing candidates here in this award catergory for Brown snark, so it’s such an honour!

I’d just like to thank Mariah and all the Browns for being the hopeless, grifting, unlikeable, liars that lie that they are. This has made it so easy to release my venom on them. Thank you again! 

Edited September 11, 2019 by Sofa Sloth

[LoneWolf]

On 9/7/2019 at 10:42 AM, Mahamid Frauded Me said:

#aworldwherewifiisfree

Let's unpack this, shall we?

-she hasn't even been in school for two weeks but is already 'exhausted'

-she does 'random yoga poses' at bus stops

-she 'finds nearby eateries that will comp [her] AND has free WiFi'

-because of being 'in flux shit is just pouring out of [her] at a rapid pace'. Really, Mariah? Are we talking literal shit or proverbial shit? WTeverlivingF

-a lot is happening in her 'little self absorbed brain' but all's good--it's her 'jam'

-she enjoyed a matcha AND a piña colada (spelling both drinks wrong, btw) and then 'got caught in the rain' (Jimmy Buffet, anyone?)

-Here's where it gets interesting: the rainwater was refreshing and 'counted toward [her] weekly shower'.  Again, WTeverlivingF?! Your weekly shower? Your WEEKLY shower. And given that it 'counted towards' said weekly shower, did this weekly shower actually require follow up shower-like activities, or did you just call it good for the week? Does it only count as a completed weekly shower if you shampoo your hair? 

-she realises how much 'space water takes in our bodies' and she needs to 'find a way to harvest that and share it with the world one droplet at a time' 

-her 'plant babies who passed the ESA certification love its nourishment' I'm guessing by nourishment she means those harvested droplets of Mariah body water falling from heaven. 

Now, after all of that I'm off to take a shower--in my shower, not the rain--so it mightn't be as nourishing as harvested droplets of Mariah body water falling from heaven. And just to be clear, my shower counts towards my DAILY shower; in fact, it won't actually 'count towards' my DAILY shower--it will actually BE my daily shower. 'Cause I wash my hair, yo. 

[Kohola3]

8 hours ago, LoneWolf said:

I SO want to see this--if I pay your hotel and airfare to Chicago can we make this bruise cruise happen?

I'm afraid her BO would be so bad that I'd puke before I got close to her.  Especially if she's dealing with her uterus at the time - is she so woke that she eschews normal sanitary products and just goes for dried leaves or moss or something?  Wouldn't be surprised.

[laurakaye]

7 hours ago, LoneWolf said:

Let's unpack this, shall we?

-she hasn't even been in school for two weeks but is already 'exhausted'

-she does 'random yoga poses' at bus stops

-she 'finds nearby eateries that will comp [her] AND has free WiFi'

-because of being 'in flux shit is just pouring out of [her] at a rapid pace'. Really, Mariah? Are we talking literal shit or proverbial shit? WTeverlivingF

Not to rain on your parade, but that above post was a snarky rendition by @Mahamid Frauded Me...but I totally understand the confusion!  Sometimes the crap the Browns post forces me read extra carefully because I honestly am not sure if it's a real Brown post or a hilarious send-up by one of us.

Edited September 11, 2019 by laurakaye

[xwordfanatik]

MFM's parody posts are a riot.  There are so many posters here that are gifted with wonderful senses of humor.  The Browns make snarking so easy.  Mariah in particular is so full of her own malarkey, it's ridiculous.  She spews such stupid stuff!  And she's in graduate school?  What a world.

[Mahamid Frauded Me]

17 hours ago, DakotaJustice said:

"cute lil uterus"? 

My "cute little size 10 foot" wants to punt this snowflake into reality 

[LoneWolf]

3 hours ago, laurakaye said:

Not to rain on your parade, but that above post was a snarky rendition by @Mahamid Frauded Me...but I totally understand the confusion!

Okay, THAT was so fucking funny. @Mahamid Frauded Me captured the ridiculous voice of Mariah so well I TOTALLY bought it. And the award for the most excellent of parody goes to the one, the only, @Mahamid Frauded Me

👏👏👏🥇

[TurtlePower]

11 hours ago, Sofa Sloth said:

Most normal folx wouldn’t get it, because most folx aren't narcissistic and self-absorbed to the extent that they think other people care about their mundane activities or body functions.

Most normal people also don’t post constant pictures of themselves looking like a unwashed, hairy, hot mess and expect them to be well received. She has zero humility or ability to understand, that she isn’t the gift to the world she perceives herself to be.

All women of a certain age get periods and most don’t have the luxury of checking out and sleeping in for a day, (nor would they think to post about it on social media). They also don’t need to be given advice by a 23 year old in a privileged position who’s barely lived. She really is something else...

Also this (now deleted of course) comment is gold! 😂 

That comment—I’m patting THAT person on the back! 

Social media can be maddening in that mediocrities can hoist themselves up as elites whether they earned it or not.

I give her props for going through instructor training, but it takes more time and effort to build a base and a good reputation people will want to seek out. Her tv personality status won’t cut it for that, she’s going to have to put in the work. In fact, she may be taken less seriously because of the platform she’s been using. “Woke gay tv Mariah” is all she has for now. 

[deirdra]

22 hours ago, LilWharveyGal said:

Dang, when I get cramps I have to pop some Advil and haul my @$$ to work. 

According to her calendar, which Ginger posted on Aug 21, Tuesday 9-4 is her Internship.  I wonder if she called in sick or just blew it off.

[Sandy W]

16 minutes ago, deirdra said:

According to her calendar, which Ginger posted on Aug 21, Tuesday 9-4 is her Internship.  I wonder if she called in sick or just blew it off.

Give the kid a break!  She's only had 10 years or so to acclimate to the functions of her "cute lil uterus".  Should Mariah be expected to deal with possible real life crises in the lives of her internship clients when she is coping as best she can with PMS?

Where's the sarcasm emoji?

[Kohola3]

40 minutes ago, Sandy W said:

Give the kid a break!  She's only had 10 years or so to acclimate to the functions of her "cute lil uterus". 

But she has a resident ESA to get her through it!  What a lucky little snowflake! 

Her clients are really going to love it when she cancels appointments because of cramps or just the need to find some woke time or try new yoga stretches.  IF she ever graduates.  I can't imagine any real internships allowing random "me" time whenever Princess Pudge can't get out of bed (except to visit the local coffee shop for some green slimy toast).

[Jeanne222]

I think Mariah's punking us just to see how much we can take!

[Galloway Cave]

🙃🙄😏

All sarcasm emojis. I like the second one.

[Sandy W]

1 hour ago, Galloway Cave said:

🙃🙄😏

All sarcasm emojis. I like the second one.

I can pull up emojis on my phone and utilize them there but I have this site set up on my laptop and don't the the tech skills to switch back and forth.  

I like the second one too, thanks for the suggestions. I'll just have to content myself with,  well look what just popped up!  I typed 2 dots and an oblique stroke and got this---😕

[Galloway Cave]

7 minutes ago, Sandy W said:

I can pull up emojis on my phone and utilize them there but I have this site set up on my laptop and don't the the tech skills to switch back and forth.  

I just use the emojis in the message toolbar at the top of the box.

[Sandy W]

11 minutes ago, Galloway Cave said:

I just use the emojis in the message toolbar at the top of the box.

Thank You, Thank You Galloway Cave, 👀 I see them now! 

I'm afraid I'll be inflicting this new found toy on all of you for a while 🤦‍♀️

Edited September 12, 2019 by Sandy W

[xwordfanatik]

I've used the barf emoji here, or on Meri's thread.  

Mariah's posts are barf-worthy!🤮hehe