Josh & Aleksandra: The Missionary Position

[cooksdelight]

Discuss Josh and Aleksandra here.

 

Quote

 

22-year-old Josh was on a Mormon mission trip to the Czech Republic when he met 21-year-old Aleksandra, who was there for school. Aleksandra was the furthest thing from a Mormon, however: she’s got a party girl past that includes go-go dancing! But love apparently calmed the party beast, and Aleksandra converted to the Mormon faith to be with her man! Josh’s parents remain suspicious.

Edited May 29, 2019 by Drogo
Thread title formatting

[silverspoons]

I'm very curious about how their edit will be. 20 years ago I had girls in my college dorm that joined the LDS church to come to America from eastern Europe and Asia. They had friends all over the country that did this. I actually knew one girl from Eastern Europe that moved to Rexburg ID just like this couple. They are still married but had a lot of battles over education and family. I now live in Utah and see my neighbors all excited when their missionary brings home a girl from another country and now some of my kids friend's parents met on in this same way so I have seen this from many angles. My one pet peeve with some is the some of the women not getting as much education as they would like. I know several women that are brilliant that were from Eastern Europe or Central/South America that have husband's that are in "business"(lucked into because of nepotism) and make enough to support the family so the wives of course have no option but to stay at home.

 

TLC could make a show just out of LDS that do this because it is so common now. From my front door I can see 7 homes that have either had kids marry someone they met on their mission or the couple met during a mission. I believe Josh will get married and TLC will edit it much differently then it happens.

[cooksdelight]

Let's keep posts in the forum about the show, the people on the show, and their experiences. We have a Small Talk thread for personal experiences.

[Kholzworth]

I love the fact that there is an idaho based fiancé in this season! I live about a half hour from Rexburg and can't wait to see what she thinks of our beautiful state! She will be put to certain and different standards that she may or may not be used to, how she reacts and adapts we will see!

[Raja]

 

 

TLC could make a show just out of LDS that do this because it is so common now. From my front door I can see 7 homes that have either had kids marry someone they met on their mission or the couple met during a mission. I believe Josh will get married and TLC will edit it much differently then it happens.

The religious witnesses have been a factor in all three seasons Mormons in the first and third and Evangelicals in the second. In each case they  seemed to be on the show  to spread the word by example as a primary factor rather then I will be a reality star.

[PityFree]

He seems so creepy and awkward! Ewwwwwwwwwwww! He need to pray for some maturity and social skills. Alex is way out of his league.

[cooksdelight]

Maybe, maybe not. My parents got married when they were 17, had me when they were 19. We all turned out OK. :)

[ethalfrida]

There is a huge discussion on Josh on the Facebook 90 Day Fiance page. Nothing held back although some people are unkind and/or silly. I had to stop reading because I had something else to do. But headed back there shortly.

[cooksdelight]

And please discuss the Facebook postings in the Spoilers Media Links thread. Thanks.

[Quof]

http://www.broadway.com/buzz/155685/andrew-rannells-on-going-door-to-door-as-a-golden-boy-missionary-in-the-book-of-mormon/

 

He's straight out of central casting.

[OhioMom]

He is so naive. My husband thinks he's gay, and hiding it due to his religion.

She's a party animal.  I doubt she's changed, although it can happen.  Just don't think it has.  She looked like she was enjoying it too much, in the clips.

 

But I'm sure that family is going to try its darndest to to beat the devil out of her.

[PityFree]

Poor Alex doesn't realize how weird Josh is because the cultural differences and language are hiding it. Once she sees him around non-family members, she will know what an odd ball he is and she'll run. She is not awkward. She is much more worldly and sophisticated than he is and that will be this couple's undoing. I suspect she is not a virgin either. Josh is going to hold that fact and her past of "being a normal college student" against her for the rest of their relationship.

 

I also really, really hope she finished her degree. If she left Prague without graduating to hook up with that weirdo, she has really put herself at a disadvantage. 

Edited October 19, 2015 by PityFree

[Kiss my mutt]

She might change for awhile but I bet after a few years of living under such scrutiny she'll be out partying.

[cooksdelight]

I think they'll be OK, since so much of this is scripted for the show. I have gotten to the point that if a couple of kids look happy on this series, I'm fine with that.

[OhioMom]

Oh, that poor boy!  You can almost feel his need to believe the best of her, right through the tv!

 

People can and do change.  I am just not sure she wants to. It seems like an act.  But maybe it's the fact that she doesn't seem comfortable using English that is making her come across that way.

[cooksdelight]

But maybe it's the fact that she doesn't seem comfortable using English that is making her come across that way

I absolutely believe that's it. She's trying to make sure she's saying the right words, so her way of speaking comes across as rehearsed, when it's not. Of all the couples, I think they have the best chance of having a happy marriage. Because I believe the judgy father is just playing along for the cameras. He is the one who comes across as acting, to me.

[lisalionheart]

These two are so smitten--it's adorable. I also loved how enthusiastic she was about her room in his grandmother's house. They are a nice antidote to Mark and Nikki.

 

Because I believe the judgy father is just playing along for the cameras. He is the one who comes across as acting, to me.

 

Agreed!

[LaChavalina]

Right? Why is grandma more cool and laid back than the dad?

[AussieBabe]

I like this couple. I've looked at her FB page and they're sweet. I agree with most of you guys. She's probably not comfortable with using English, so it doesn't flow naturally. It's not her first language, and if I were her, I wouldn't want to offend anyone or say the wrong thing. I love her voice and charm.

His grandmother was really laid back and sweet, so I wonder if the parents are really that uptight or just playing along for dramatic effect.

I only hope she realises that she's not a bad person for living life and enjoying it to the fullest.

[Aw my lahgs]

As the product of an immigrant and a half, I can confirm it's usually because they're not comfortable speaking it and try to be careful with what they say.

I think it has a lot to do with insecurity and lack of confidence. She also may not know about how things are interpreted by others...

There are others on the show who have no difficulty talking away.

[Bugfrey Von]

I don't know about the parents faking it. Every time that poor girl starts talking, the mom looks like she's about to burst into tears or jump in front of a car. For the record, when she was explaining the Russian wedding process, what I took her explanation to mean was that once married, the young couple goes from house to house in the neighborhood and toasts to their marriage with members of their community with a big party at the end. Daddy stick-in-the-mud could have taken a second to think about this before acting like it was a vodka and cigarette and (::GASP::) dance fueled orgy.

[ShaNaeNae]

He is so naive. My husband thinks he's gay, and hiding it due to his religion.

She's a party animal.  I doubt she's changed, although it can happen.  Just don't think it has.  She looked like she was enjoying it too much, in the clips.

 

I get a little uncomfortable when it's said that anytime a male is soft spoken, he's labeled as gay. We went through this with Russ on season 1. Once someone is labeled that, everyone takes it and runs with it.

 

We also don't know if she is a party animal. She was a go-go dancer, but if she was a normal American girl at her age, she'd still be in the clubs. Maybe she didn't have enough guidance growing up and was never told to make something of herself.

 

I do think they are in love and adorable. I find her to be genuine and to be excited about being in America. I just hope she doesn't feel too down about her past. I also hope she's not joining the religion and changing in order to make him happy. She needs to do this because she believes in herself.

[still hoping]

I find the whole go go dancer weird....was she like a clothed dancer? or a stripper ? Or did she just like to go to clubs and dance....saw pics of her wearing a sweater and dancing..nothing wild or sexy?

 

I think he seems very awkward...she could do so much better IMHO. 

 

I must say I find them boring - Danny and Amy were religious but interesting, and more in tune with each other. I loved their "how are they now" feature with their sweet baby!  Josh and Aleksandra give me the yawns however. 

[deltaburkefan]

I forget what Aleksandra said, but usually in Russia you go around to different sites and monuments and take pictures on your wedding day. Then you have a big party with a toastmaster who makes everyone play stupid games and lots of alcohol is served. Going around to people's houses is maybe something people would do in a village, but I've never heard of anything like that.

[deltaburkefan]

It's huge, but unless you're going to some place in the Caucasus or another region with its own specific culture/ethnicity (which Kirov is not), you won't find all that much variation in traditions, culture, etc. You can see what I'm talking about here under "Touring the City": https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_wedding_traditions

Edited October 26, 2015 by deltaburkefan

[lallalla]

I think Josh is really, really cute...in a "damn, he's taken!" sort of way (though I'm too old for him..but not Mark/Nikki old LOL)..and I think that this couple is just adorable together! :)

[Jacobino]

I find the whole go go dancer weird....was she like a clothed dancer? or a stripper ? Or did she just like to go to clubs and dance....saw pics of her wearing a sweater and dancing..nothing wild or sexy?

 

I think he seems very awkward...she could do so much better IMHO. 

 

I must say I find them boring - Danny and Amy were religious but interesting, and more in tune with each other. I loved their "how are they now" feature with their sweet baby!  Josh and Aleksandra give me the yawns however. 

I think the producers just ran with that go go dancer thing...she was not a stripper or anything like that. Probably just a party animal - lots of those in Europe. The 2000's version of club kids. She seems a little...vacant...up there. Not much going on. And her bf seems like her gay best friend. Sorry, I just don't see them as a traditional/straight couple. Nothing wrong with that though... a union like that could be beneficial to both. She gets to live in America for a while - until she gets bored, which she will, and he doesn't have to deal with his sexuality for a little longer. If if walks like a duck...

[futurechemist]

I don't understand why there doesn't seem to be a middle ground between "teetotaler" and "party animal".  Shouldn't there be compromise?  My husband doesn't eat meat, but he doesn't stop me from eating meat.  We're also different religions but that's never really been an issue.  If Josh doesn't want to drink or smoke because of his Mormon upbringing, then he can choose not to.  And if Aleksandra does want to drink or smoke, then she can do that on her own or with friends.  

[deltaburkefan]

I don't think that would work with his background. I've known people who were more or less lapsed Mormons, but he seemed pretty hardcore about it. It'd be like a Duggar marrying someone who was cool with premarital sex and abortion.

[Granny58]

When I was in my 20s I TOO danced and drank and had a grand ole time.  There's nothing wrong with that!  I realize that in Mormonism that's a no-no, and that's fine, but she needs to understand that is her youth and she lived it and NOT think forevermore that she's "bad."  She seems very sweet actually.  As other's have said, likely it is her language barrier that is causing her to see more unsure than she is...I hope so.  Also, a lot of times it is a convert to a religion who is more intense about it - for a while.  They seem like a nice couple, I hope it works for them.  

[Alonzo Mosely FBI]

The least most interesting thing about this couple is ....this couple. Rexburg (?) and his family are the whole sideshow to me !

[cooksdelight]

I agree!! The family is the best thing that has happened to this show regarding this couple. In regard to snark, that is.

[ethalfrida]

Historically, Russia went through a period of non-religious observance. Those who believed could still go to church and worship but the state didn't recognize it as a part of its doctrine. Tour guides just waltzed tourists right on through, speaking loudly and generally ignoring whatever was going on. I say this to say that Aleksandria's conversion probably comes on the heels of a resurgence of observance. 

 

I didn't find Josh's family disrespectful, just curious. However, I do find Josh un-nerving...

[deltaburkefan]

She wasn't even alive in Soviet times. I don't think her conversion to Mormonism has to do with the increased influence of the Orthodox Church on Russian politics or anything, haha. I think she was probably just drinking and going out all the time and maybe was seeking something a little deeper in life--I think she said as much, that she was going down a bad path. She just happened to bump into missionaries at the right time.

[ethalfrida]

She wasn't even alive in Soviet times. I don't think her conversion to Mormonism has to do with the increased influence of the Orthodox Church on Russian politics or anything, haha. I think she was probably just drinking and going out all the time and maybe was seeking something a little deeper in life--I think she said as much, that she was going down a bad path. She just happened to bump into missionaries at the right time.

I am not implying she was alive then. It hasn't been too long ago that those things were in practice so they could still impact concepts of late.

[deltaburkefan]

I seriously doubt it. Growing up without religion (very few people in Russia go to church regularly compared to the U.S., like 2% of the population, even if they are christened) maybe made her seek something out. But I doubt Soviet state atheism before she was born somehow led to her becoming Mormon. I think she was just caught at a vulnerable time in her life for whatever reason and something about Mormonism appealed to her. Of course now that she is bored as hell in Rexburg she may be like "wait a second, partying wasn't so bad and empty..."

[Neurochick]

When I see Josh's family, I really get why so many people hate organized religion.  I see them as judgmental and not very nice.  So fucking what someone used to drink and smoke and dance, doesn't mean they'll be like that forever.  Ugh, I just want Aleksandra to find a nice, normal man who realizes that drinking and dancing doesn't mean you're on the pathway to hell.

[Danag]

Me thinks Aleksandra will get tired of "religion". I mean there IS life other than obsessing with religion. You can pray to God and still have a great, normal, fun life. Living like this Mormon family is like being in jail.

She's waking up to the fact that she's too young to get married. The reason why some of these CULTS make people marry early in life is because they want them to be pure. What a crock!

[gunderda]

I hope it works out for them.  She doesn't seem to sure of herself which might be coming across from her not speaking english well.  However I'm not sure if she quite understands what she got herself into.  But if being a Mormon is truly what she wants and feels that she needs in her life, then good for her.

[RCharter]

When I see Josh's family, I really get why so many people hate organized religion.  I see them as judgmental and not very nice.  So fucking what someone used to drink and smoke and dance, doesn't mean they'll be like that forever.  Ugh, I just want Aleksandra to find a nice, normal man who realizes that drinking and dancing doesn't mean you're on the pathway to hell.

I just get annoyed at the constant side-eye they give her.  The hypocrisy seems so real from people who shouldn't be judging others.  jesus was a carpenter who turned water into wine at a wedding.  mary was a hooker.  jesus didn't side-eye and judge, so I don't know why these people seem to be bent on making her feel so inferior.

 

I just think she will be in that small town, constantly being told what an awful sinner she was and she will be beaten down all the time.  It won't be mean but there will always be gentle reminders of her past and what an awful, horrible, lousy sinner she was.  There will always be someone looking a little harder at her.  There will always be someone looking at her tattoo.  It will take the spirit and the life right out of her.

Edited November 3, 2015 by RCharter

[cooksdelight]

i'm praying it's reality TV crap and her treatment by the family and friends really isn't that bad. She looks like such a sweet girl, they make a cute couple, and I hope for the best for them.

[IvySpice]

 

I just think she will be in that small town, constantly being told what an awful sinner she was and she will be beaten down all the time.  It won't be mean but there will always be gentle reminders of her past and what an awful, horrible, lousy sinner she was.  There will always be someone looking a little harder at her.  There will always be someone looking at her tattoo.  It will take the spirit and the life right out of her.

Agreed. There are plenty of believing Mormons in this country who would never want to live in Rexburg. You can get that side-eye for WAY less than tattoos and vodka.

 

MIL is such a sourpuss. I feel bad for Josh's baby sister. I wouldn't want to be around that cold judgment all day.

[guilfoyleatpp]

I think she's made a decent trade. Even if it doesn't work out (and who knows?). She's made it to the US, converted to a religion that believes in taking care of its own, and she'll win them over.

Maybe she's playing the long game and she wants them to know how awful she was so they can be AHHHHMazed at how pious she can be.

 

I think she's on top of it.  Ever read Anna Karenina?  Russians, speaking in general terms, are not especially embracing of the entire "I must be happy" philosophy. 

[deltaburkefan]

I think she's made a decent trade. Even if it doesn't work out (and who knows?). She's made it to the US, converted to a religion that believes in taking care of its own, and she'll win them over.

Maybe she's playing the long game and she wants them to know how awful she was so they can be AHHHHMazed at how pious she can be.

I think she's on top of it. Ever read Anna Karenina? Russians, speaking in general terms, are not especially embracing of the entire "I must be happy" philosophy.

I think Aziza from season one was a better example of this. Marry a guy with a decent job and his own house, even though he's not the sexiest or most exciting.

Aleksandra seems really sweet and genuine to me. I think she truly believes in Mormonism, at least for now, and that she was heading down a bad path, etc.

What is interesting to me is how she thinks she is young to get married at 21. Most Russians believe you should have your first baby before 25 for biological reasons. I'm 29 and considered an old maid when I go out (sinfully dancing and drinking!), and my boyfriend was married and divorced by 23.

Edited November 6, 2015 by deltaburkefan

[Granny58]

When I see Josh's family, I really get why so many people hate organized religion.  I see them as judgmental and not very nice.  So fucking what someone used to drink and smoke and dance, doesn't mean they'll be like that forever.  Ugh, I just want Aleksandra to find a nice, normal man who realizes that drinking and dancing doesn't mean you're on the pathway to hell.

it's edited that way to manipulate you.  

[KarmaG]

Once she sees him around non-family members, she will know what an odd ball he is and she'll run. 

 

They met while he was on mission, she saw him plenty without family members around. 

[KarmaG]

I think the producers just ran with that go go dancer thing...she was not a stripper or anything like that. Probably just a party animal - lots of those in Europe. 

 

I agree with this completely. The rest, not at all.

[AussieBabe]

I think it wouldn't be so bad if they moved outside of Rexburg and away from his family. There's nothing appealing about growing up and dying in the same small town. I see no reason why they can't move to a bigger city. There are Mormons in large cities. Just because temptation is around doesn't mean you'll be weak and fall prey to it. I'd lose it if I were her.

[ExplainItAgain]

Aleksandra is just cute as a button. I hate that she is so unhappy, for something as simple as dancing. I can't imagine going from Prague to that tiny town. What does Josh do for a living? Is he still in college? I wonder what he is planning to do for a career.

[pollywood]

I was just looking at where Rexburg is on Google Maps. They're not really close to any major city that could keep her interest. Lots of wide open spaces and Mormon meccas. Idaho Falls could work in the short term if he's willing to compromise. While I think you can have fun without drinking & doing other "sinful" things, you also have to function in society. You can go clubbing without drinking. I'm a former partier myself but definitely no Mormon convert.