S01.E18: It's Only a Test

[Primetimer]

While everyone else gears up for the SAT, Brenda has to deal with the findings from another exam. (ON HER BOOB.)

Read the story

[Primetimer]

Or anyone else in the visual-aids companion to S01E18, 'It's Only A Test.' Well, maybe David Byrne.

Read the story

[sinnerforhire]

I took the SATs in 2000, a few years before they totally changed it, and by that time there had been a big movement among colleges to de-emphasize SAT scores as a measure of fitness. I had a 4.2 GPA, so when I applied early-decision to a fairly prestigious liberal arts school, I had the option not to submit my scores at all. I did, but they weren't great relative to my grades (like Sarah, I quit when I got a 670 on math, knowing that was the best I'd ever do). I tutored a football player who didn't even break 1000 on the old scale, and I got a 1020 in fifth grade. Nobody I knew went into it thinking it would determine our entire future like Andrea does in the episode. We would've looked at her not unlike her classmates do, as someone who seriously needs to get a grip.

[sinkwriter]

Those shoulderpads on Cindy's red outfit in your screen caps! Oh my gosh, you could rest objects on top of those! Crazy!

Side note: most excellent paraphrasing from Heathers in your screen caps content. Loved that.

[Petunia13]

I liked the David Byrne references : )

[thetif]

In regards to the A plot, I also found a lump when I was 17 (obvs older and wiser than Brenda's 16). Here's the differences I experienced:

1) Things were not resolved in such a timely manner. I mean she had surgery-ish on a Saturday the same week, wtf. I had to see my primary care doctor, then a specialist, then schedule surgery. Then after it was removed, I'm pretty sure it was at least a week before I heard that everything was benign. It was definitely more like weeks or months before the whole thing was resolved.

2) I had to actually have surgery to have it removed. I'm not sure why they couldn't just pull a sample in the office if they didn't actually need to cut on her. It's probably nice for her that she didn't have to go through her formative boob showing years without a scar. However, the upside is boobs are boobs, so most guys don't even notice a little scar when they get to see them.

3) My best friend's idea of being supportive was saying, "So, I hear you got felt up" after my first doctor's appointment. Not helpful.

4) My mother's way of spilling the news to everyone was to basically announce it during the Thanksgiving prayer while the whole extended family was gathere. My mother has never met a situation should couldn't make more dramatic. She was dropping mics before it was cool.

Fortunately, the outcome was still the same, we both had nothing to worry about. I like to think that was I was less dramatic about it than Brenda was, but I was 17, so probably not, see also note about my mother above.

As far as plot B, I took the SATs when the best you could get was a 1600. I knew a guy who got a 1600 and then took it again and got another 1600, just to prove to himself he could. I did not do that well. :) I also took the ACTs. I think they had more diverse questions on them. I remember it having at least some science questions. I'm not sure everyone was panicked about it, but everyone did ask around afterwards to see how they measured up.

[sinkwriter]

I laughed thoroughly throughout the listening of this podcast, especially at the melodramatic background music and the totally not-helpful commentary from Kelly and Donna (thanks for the support, gals!), but I will say that as someone who just had her first mammogram a couple years ago and ended up having to get biopsies in both breasts... the waiting to hear the results really IS torturous.

 

And I didn't have the bullshit "magic of television" where you find out your results the same day as the biopsies. I had to wait two whole days, and it was nerve-wracking, especially since I did have an aunt who had been diagnosed with breast cancer the year before. (Thankfully, she's great now, and mine was not cancerous.)

 

But I can certainly understand how a 16-year-old would freak out, after watching her aunt die only two years before. I was 40 and I was freaking out. Well, internally freaking out -- I didn't even tell my parents until after I got my results, because I knew they'd freak out even more than I was and that would not have been helpful to put me at ease while waiting the 2 weeks to get in for my biopsies and another 2 days after that to find out what it was or wasn't. Instead, I talked with my aunt, since she knew what it was like.

Edited August 14, 2015 by sinkwriter

[itainttippithebird]

I found out at my last doctor's appointment they no longer recommend people do breast self-exams! I guess it wasn't actually effective in early detection and was causing too many false alarms. I was a bit relieved to hear this, really, because "forgetting to do self-exams every month" has been one of those little nagging worries in the back of my brain since 1994.

 

In a few years, the next generation learning to love/hate the 90210 gang won't even get the reference, I guess!

[Kristen]

Thumbs up for the Heathers reference in the visual aids post.

Edited August 14, 2015 by Kristen

[Lisin]

I ummm... I had never noticed Shannen's "Picasso Face" and now that it's been pointed out I cannot unsee it. I just showed my husband and he literally yelled OH MY GOD out loud. It's terrible! I'm assuming that she's like me (I have a hella crooked nose that no one ever notices until I point it out) and since she often tilts her head to one side it tricks the eye and you don't notice it? But with those blunt bangs looking right at her reflection? Yeesh. I'm just shocked I've been watching her on shows since 1990 and I'm only learning about this now. 

[LAFR]

It seems like self exams and awareness about breast cancer was becoming a "thing" back in the late 80's and this was jumping on the bandwagon to teach teens about the importance of getting checked. However, if they had intended to make this a Very Special Episode they could have done a lot better with it. As someone who has had a bad mammogram and multiple biopsies (all fine) I can say that your brain really goes from tiny lump = double mastectomy in 60 seconds. They could have done a better job at pointing out the multiple other things it could be besides an ingrown hair (that was terrible.)

As for the SAT's when I took them in the late-80's I feel like we were more on the Ohndrea side of the panic spectrum. I took them twice and went up 200 points on math the second time, because I wasn't so nervous the second time.

[Sara2009]

I took the SATs in 2000, a few years before they totally changed it, and by that time there had been a big movement among colleges to de-emphasize SAT scores as a measure of fitness. I had a 4.2 GPA, so when I applied early-decision to a fairly prestigious liberal arts school, I had the option not to submit my scores at all. I did, but they weren't great relative to my grades (like Sarah, I quit when I got a 670 on math, knowing that was the best I'd ever do). I tutored a football player who didn't even break 1000 on the old scale, and I got a 1020 in fifth grade. Nobody I knew went into it thinking it would determine our entire

future like Andrea does in the episode. We would've looked at her not unlike her classmates do, as someone who seriously

needs to get a grip.

I didn't break 1000 the first time either, and I also had a high GPA. Some people just aren't good at standardized tests. Edited August 15, 2015 by Sara2009

[Tara Ariano]

sinkwriter: as chance would have it, I also had my first mammogram last week! Glad everything came out okay with yours.

[WhosThatGirl]

The SATS are a big thing, I took them after they made the change and when they added the essay- Boo. But they were a thing, I think I was more Bradon on the side of the things where I took them early junior year and then another time. I do know some people who went very hard core and got tutors. I got a SAT book and studied that. Yes I'm a nerd.

The A plot always made me sad- granted I saw this in reruns but I always felt really sad for Brenda because I can imagine thats scary to find a lump in your breast. And to find one at age 16. I probably would have been just as freaked out.

[marceline]

 

It's a doctor's appointment, not an interview in the Kohl's returns department.

 

I hate you for this. I worked in the Kohl's returns department and I wore something exactly like that to my interview. :-D

 

Also I took both the SATs and ACTs and I definitely remember them being a really big thing. Not big enough to warrant Andrea's Jessie Spano-style freakout but it was definitely one of those "this could decide your future" things. I didn't do the prep course thing but I did take a few practice tests. 

Edited August 17, 2015 by marceline

[sinnerforhire]

Also, Brandon's assertion that you can't study for the SATs is bullcrap. I got a study guide to the math section and improved my score by 100 points. SAT math was nothing like the math I was taught in school. I was a straight-A math student and I bombed SAT math the first time.

[desertflower]

I've noticed that Shannen's uneven eyes are always more noticeable in scenes where she's looking in a mirror. Weird.

[sinnerforhire]

That mirror in the screencap seems like a funhouse mirror. I keep thinking it has to have a bend in it to get that effect, but apparently that's her actual face. Huh.

[Lindsey]

I also took the SAT in 2000. I did well, mostly because I was just good at standardized tests and my verbal score was high, but my high school's valedictorian and salutatorian were both really nervous test takers who freaked out Andrea-style and didn't do all that great. It's why I think the whole thing is bullshit. Well, that and because my school's administration informed me that I would be a member of our school's competitive SAT team and that it was not voluntary. We took a mock version of the SAT and they compared our scores to other schools' scores? To this day I have no idea what the point of the whole thing was.

[Pogojoco]

Dave's new ringtone needs to be Tara softly saying "Cindy feels...." 

 

Also, not to defend Dylan, but I think the "raging hormone" comment to Brandon was a reference to Brenda's insane mood swings rather than sexy times. But again, that's just my take. The twins were totally inappropriate and I wouldn't doubt that circa 1990, the two actors were boning. 

 

Jim Walsh should never say "Baby." "Honey" is his usual endearment. He also shouldn't call his wife the same endearment as his daughter. No, Jim. NO!

 

Also, you aren't crazy- Andrea and Steve are great together. Even just as friends. 

Edited August 15, 2015 by Pogojoco

[WhosThatGirl]

Also, you aren't crazy- Andrea and Steve are great together. Even just as friends.

 

Oh I cannot wait for the "I'd like to exchange this egg" moment. That was the best ever.

[adam807]

I was the same year as the main cast (well, I was after they did a year twice, so I guess at this point I'm a year younger?) so I took the SATs at basically the same time, and also went to school with kids in a wide mix of economic situations and test-taking aptitude. I fully believe Ohndrea's freaking out about the SATs to this degree, especially since her scores might affect her financial aid, which we know she needs. But why would she of all people not have a middle ground between taking an expensive prep course and not studying at all? She's the kind of person who would have been studying, on her own, for months! We all had the same prep book. We made flash cards and took practice tests. I just checked Amazon -- those books only cost $15 NOW, surely even Ohndrea could've afforded one then FFS.

And no, BRANDON, it doesn't test things you already know. EVERYONE studied those stupid vocab words and bullshit math problems. In real life Brandon and Ohndrea would have been obnoxiously studying together and quizzing each other every damn night.

[FozzyBear]

I was the same year as the main cast (well, I was after they did a year twice, so I guess at this point I'm a year younger?) so I took the SATs at basically the same time, and also went to school with kids in a wide mix of economic situations and test-taking aptitude. I fully believe Ohndrea's freaking out about the SATs to this degree, especially since her scores might affect her financial aid, which we know she needs. But why would she of all people not have a middle ground between taking an expensive prep course and not studying at all? She's the kind of person who would have been studying, on her own, for months! We all had the same prep book. We made flash cards and took practice tests. I just checked Amazon -- those books only cost $15 NOW, surely even Ohndrea could've afforded one then FFS.

And no, BRANDON, it doesn't test things you already know. EVERYONE studied those stupid vocab words and bullshit math problems. In real life Brandon and Ohndrea would have been obnoxiously studying together and quizzing each other every damn night.

Yeah, I went to a pretty mediocre CA public school at about the same time where no one was expected to go Ivy, and we were still told to study for the SATs. What kind of bullshit was Brandon selling? Everyone studied. If you were taking the test, you studied.

I always wanted Steve and Andrea to happen. Always. They were cute together. And somehow the fact that both of them looked like they were about to collect social security kind of nutralized it when they were together. I felt so cheated during the college years when they basically wrote a Steve/Andrea story, but with obnoxious, sociopathic Claire in the Andrea spot.

[Flamingo]

I went to a school with a pretty wide ranging socio-economic mix although, objectively, we tended to be more upper middle class than lower class. Most students were expected to go to a college of some sort ranging from Ivy League (we usually had 1 or 2 per class) to not Ivy League but tough to get into (Duke, MIT), as well as a wide range of state universities and private colleges in the region (UNC, Clemson, Tennessee, Wake Forest, Davidson, Appalachian State, Emory), and community colleges. Most of us took the PSAT in our Sophomore year before the SAT in our Junior year/summer between Junior and Senior year. Our school offered free study guides and practice tests as well as summer SAT tutoring to students. It was something like one 3 hour class a week for 4 weeks. They had classes specifically for the math portion and separate classes specifically for the language portion. Everyone was encouraged to take the SATs at least twice. My score was in the 1260 range before the tutoring in math and went up to 1360 (roughly, I remember they were 12XX and then 13XX) the second time. I don't specifically remember anyone freaking out about them like Andrea; but, they were an important part of the whole package. It was really important to our school's administration that we all do well. Mostly, I remember SAT day being more like just another milestone to share with my classmates rather than a stressful test. This was in the stone ages of 1984-1985. I graduated high school in 1986.

After this episode, I really hoped for the Steve and Andrea pairing.

On a side note - these podcasts make my day. I don't know how I always missed out on the level of crowd noise on this show. It cracks me up now that I know to pay attention to the random cheering, jeering, and Southern Baptist congregation level crowd participation that happens.

[Tara Ariano]

I don't know how I always missed out on the level of crowd noise on this show. It cracks me up now that I know to pay attention to the random cheering, jeering, and Southern Baptist congregation level crowd participation that happens.

 

I've seen ALL these episodes fifty times each, and I never noticed either until I watched these episodes on my computer with headphones in.

[profreader]

I took the SATs at about the same time as Sarah. It was a Catholic school and I was in the track with the overachievers — so I think it was assumed that everyone would do well — people were competitive about their scores, but mostly because they were competitive about everything. I always happened to do well on standardized tests, probably just because of the puzzle-construction nature of how they are put together. So I did the usual practice tests but not any coaching beyond that.

 

It's so funny seeing how the writers just glue a standard story over top of the characters, and push them into roles that don't really fit, just to be mouthpieces for one side or another of An Issue and move the plot along. (Like with the "elect Brandon" story where Kelly is the kingmaker all of a sudden, etc.)

 

As everyone else has pointed out, OHHndrea is a terrible choice for "the one who is freaked out about the test" because she's absolutely the type who would have been studying since birth and probably could have published her own guide to the SATs. They would have been wiser to couple the SAT story with a different A-story, one that didn't involve Brenda. Then Brenda could be the freaker-outer, because a) she's Hapless Brenda b) her parents could have high expectations for where they think she should go to college, and wouldn't be able to buy her way in for her, as Kelly / Donna's parents probably could.

 

I'd still want to keep the Steve/Ohhndrea story (they would have been a great couple and would have given Steve some real dimension). The A story could be Brandon discovering he has an enormous brain tumor which has been pressing on his Judgemental Braying center, and all is explained.

[Pogojoco]

Oh I cannot wait for the "I'd like to exchange this egg" moment. That was the best ever.

When Steve yells at her about shrinking in the face of the Emily/Brandon relationship- that's one of my favourite moments. "What you gotta do is stop apologizing for who you are and get in the game!" 

[IchabodCranium]

I am a bit younger than the 90210 gang. I was the Ohndrea in high school. (Better clothes, hair sadly equally terrible but in a different way.) I went to a socioeconomically & ethnically diverse CA public high school that sent a lot of kids to Ivys & UCLA/Berkeley. Everyone studied for the SAT. Everyone. I wanted to take a fancy prep class but my Mom was like, "If I pay for that there will be no money left for college. Also, you're great at standardized tests. You can study on your own with books, which we can afford." She was right. I wanted to get a 700 or higher on each half, and got a 700 math, 710 verbal. I was enough of a nerd that I studied for the PSAT because I wanted to be a National Merit Finalist. (Nailed it. Life's been downhill ever since.) There's no way Andrea wouldn't have been all over that because so many colleges give National Merit scholarships. Also, all of the SAT scores on 90210 are terrible for a bunch of rich white kids.

[WhosThatGirl]

When Steve yells at her about shrinking in the face of the Emily/Brandon relationship- that's one of my favourite moments. "What you gotta do is stop apologizing for who you are and get in the game!" 

Yes! I liked the Steve/Andrea friendship, the show however didn't follow through much on it though. But I love that Steve is the only one who calls BS on Andrea's thing about Brandon and Emily, while everyone else who pretty much knows it exists and she's in love with him, including Brandon during that time, ignores it. I always forget they have a moment here in this episode as I always just call this episode the Brenda thinks she may have Cancer and the SATS are happening also episode. 

[AndySmith]

I'm a bit mixed on the Andrea/Steve thing. While they had nice chemistry, it was nice to have a platonic friendship between members of the opposite sex on this show.

Edited August 17, 2015 by AndySmith

[Qoass]

You know, in the visual aids, it appears that Brenda is sporting the omnipresent camel toe while lying in a coffin in a full length dress!  How is that even possible??

[supergirlsudz]

I took the SATs in 2001. My school had a SAT Prep class for sophomores that was mandatory. I can't remember if it was all-year or just a semester long. But I remember it wasn't very helpful. My mother bought me a book to study from, which I promptly let gather dust under my bed.

 

I went into the test knowing that I really wanted a 1200. I wasn't shooting for Harvard or anything, but I wanted to get into a decent school. The first time I took the test I got an 1100-something and had a runny nose the entire time but had no tissues. So, you know, fun times. I took the test again and got my magic number of 1200-something. In my mind, I was done. But the ensuing fight with my mother over taking it a third time was one of the worst fights we ever had. I did not want to spend my Saturday in a freezing cold classroom all day and going through the mental strain of taking the test again. I also thought losers only took it three times. But in retrospect, I wonder if I would have done better. Don't tell her that though!

[chickflick]

I took the SATs in 1996 or so, and it was a big deal. I did a prep course, and had private tutors, which is what most kids in my public school did. I refused to study on my own though, and just really can't do math, so my scores were not that good. I'm so glad that many colleges are now not requiring them!

[smrou]

Just for the record, I teach high school and based on how my students approach them I'd say that SATs are still very much a big deal to students and they seriously stress out about them. Much more than I did when I was in high school (class of '98), but I'm not sure I can compare the attitudes in general because I think I was generally more chill about grades/tests/applications than a lot of other people were. Actually, I had at least a few friends who took SAT prep courses, which I thought was kind of ridiculous (I'm sure I would have felt differently if I hadn't been confident I'd do well). But seriously, my students get pretty crazy and panicky about SATs.

[StatMom]

I have to admit, I found the Brenda dream sequence to be kind of clever and well-done. Good integration of the two storylines.

[Racj82]

Oh I cannot wait for the "I'd like to exchange this egg" moment. That was the best ever.

I saw the 90210 porn parody (don't judge me. I'm always curious how they butcher the source material. The sex scenes are irrelevant in these cases). I laughed my ass off when they paired Steve and Andrea together. There was a running joke in the parody that Steve never gets laid (in high school) so he and Andrea had sex because they had no one else. Cracked me up.

 

Also, on the male spectrum, I had a testicular cancer scare last year. I felt a lump and had to get checked out. Wondering what was going on was so scary. And the day I went to get my results, there was a bad rain storm so I got the office late and they refused to just give me the results because the doctor had left. They like, it's really something the doctor needs to talk about with you based on the results. So, I was thinking the worst and freaking out. And...the lump is was a fatty build up basically that could be removed but is harmless. That and I need to wear different underwear. Thank you doctors office for the terrible 24 hour weight there! But, they can't charge for another doctors visit if they just give the info right!

Edited August 18, 2015 by Racj82

[Lisin]

I took the SATs in 95 and I am super excited I scored higher than the twins. I don't remember my break down but I do remember that I was near perfect on verbal but was low on math. To the point where it tested me out of my first year of English credits at my university but required me to be in a remedial math program that I kept dropping and re-taking for like 3 semesters because it was hella early in the morning. I only took them once, I was hungover/still a bit drunk from the night before because it was spring break and I was visiting friends in college, I lived in Texas at the time but took them in Maryland because spring break. I scored high enough to get into my chosen schools so I didn't re-test and I can't imagine it would have mattered because I don't math.

 

It's funny because I don't remember anyone I know freaking out about the SATs or ACTs but I do remember people freaking out and studying for the PSATs because that's also the NMSQT (National Merit Scholarship Corporation Qualifying Test) and I did know a bunch of people who were going for that. I was not one of them. 

[Petunia13]

It's kinda fucked up Brenda/Shannen Doherty has breast cancer right now.

[AndySmith]

What a sad irony. Wish her the best in her fight against it, and hope she is able to beat it.

[Edna Crandall]

I am a bit younger than the 90210 gang. I was the Ohndrea in high school. (Better clothes, hair sadly equally terrible but in a different way.) I went to a socioeconomically & ethnically diverse CA public high school that sent a lot of kids to Ivys & UCLA/Berkeley. Everyone studied for the SAT. Everyone. I wanted to take a fancy prep class but my Mom was like, "If I pay for that there will be no money left for college. Also, you're great at standardized tests. You can study on your own with books, which we can afford." She was right. I wanted to get a 700 or higher on each half, and got a 700 math, 710 verbal. I was enough of a nerd that I studied for the PSAT because I wanted to be a National Merit Finalist. (Nailed it. Life's been downhill ever since.) There's no way Andrea wouldn't have been all over that because so many colleges give National Merit scholarships. Also, all of the SAT scores on 90210 are terrible for a bunch of rich white kids.

Yeah, I went to a very diverse CA public high school too. All the rich kids took fancy prep courses. My English class studied SAT words my entire junior year and it was a pretty competitive thing (I went to a smart kid magnet school). A few friends got perfect scores, and there was a dude in our group who was real mad about getting 1570, so we called him 1570 basically forever (like, still doing it at the 10 year reunion). I only took it once and was happy with my high 1400s score. Got me into the UC of my choice. But there were kids in my grade who got 1500+ and retook chasing a perfect score. 

 

Their scores are REALLY bad for rich white kids. Really bad. 

Edited August 21, 2015 by Edna Crandall

[mojoween]

The A story could be Brandon discovering he has an enormous brain tumor which has been pressing on his Judgemental Braying center, and all is explained.

Profreader this is AMAZING.

[STOPSHOUTING]

Why is Steve's "cool teenage" bedroom in an industrial warehouse?

Also, based on my own parents-too-cheap-to-buy-me-a-computer experience, that looks like one of those "word processing typewriters" you could buy at Sears, where you've got a 3" screen that you can see three lines of text on at a time before it "prints" to the paper via a typewriter ribbon.

'80s High Tech!

[shouldbedancing]

I lied about my SAT score because I was getting into schools they weren't, lol.

[CeeBeeGee]

On 8/16/2015 at 0:53 PM, FozzyBear said:

Yeah, I went to a pretty mediocre CA public school at about the same time where no one was expected to go Ivy, and we were still told to study for the SATs. What kind of bullshit was Brandon selling? Everyone studied. If you were taking the test, you studied.

I always wanted Steve and Andrea to happen. Always. They were cute together. And somehow the fact that both of them looked like they were about to collect social security kind of nutralized it when they were together. I felt so cheated during the college years when they basically wrote a Steve/Andrea story, but with obnoxious, sociopathic Claire in the Andrea spot.

I never freaked out about the SATs--I was a lazy student so I actually enjoyed the SATs because 1) you weren't expected to study for them (they tested aptitude, not knowledge) and 2) I'd done very well on the PSATs (best in my class) so I figured it would be more of the same. I think I did well on the SATs because I didn't freak out, I was very relaxed those two times.

Steve and Onnnnhdrea were adorable here. I love odd couples (Steve Tanner and Chloe Kmetko from Make It or Break It are another favorite of mine).

On 8/16/2015 at 2:34 PM, profreader said:

I'd still want to keep the Steve/Ohhndrea story (they would have been a great couple and would have given Steve some real dimension). The A story could be Brandon discovering he has an enormous brain tumor which has been pressing on his Judgemental Braying center, and all is explained.

I am stifling my giggles here at work. That is brilliant.

[teapot]

On ‎8‎/‎17‎/‎2015 at 6:20 PM, StatMom said:

I have to admit, I found the Brenda dream sequence to be kind of clever and well-done. Good integration of the two storylines.

it reminded me  a little of a scene of Shannen's in the movie Heathers.