After Paradise

[Pixel]

1 minute ago, chocolatine said:

The way Jared told it sounded like he had told her not to contact him anymore, but when she actually complied, he broke down and reached out to her. Which is why I have not sympathy whatsoever for Jared.

Agreed, but despite that, I believe the whole "over Jared" claim is bullshit. 

[tenativelyyours]

I didn't watch the actual season this time but I did watch this because I found fun and more interesting than sitting through another season of many of the same people more interested in dragging out their on camera stays than at least pretending to finding love.  Dan comes to mind. 

I noticed the last run with Jared and Ashley and definitely think this is a man who loves himself and will put up with all kinds of annoying interference if it tells him how magnificent and wonderful and beautiful he is.  That way he can stop fussing with his hair to get as much mirror time as possible and just log in to whatever social media he wants and find her there singing his praises.  I think he loves that this moderately attractive woman he tells no can't take that as an answer because he is simply that magnificent.  I find him Dateline episode creepy in the way he manipulates and gains from this 'relationship'.  I remember how he seemed to break into a full body hive and soaking sweat when it came time to actually "date" Ashley their previous season.  Plus he tries to pretend to be all shy and reserved when it truth he is simply a dull narcissist in my opinion.    It makes the woman do all the work and then he can claim it is her fault when it doesn't work out.

 

Either eventually he and Ashley will get together because he will never find someone to worship him as she does in the fantasy she has created (again lets him sit back and do nothing and reap what Ashley's fantasy has sown).  Or he will find someone he thinks worthy and cut Ashley off completely and blame it on her behavior.  That up to that point he encourages and nurtures.  And hopefully that will wake Ashley up because otherwise if things go wrong in that other relationship Jared has, I doubt any will bet against a "hey you, just wondering how you are doing' nudge on twitter/facebook.instagram etc.  Again I find him almost rather predatory in how he treats her.  I do think that there is a greater part of Ashley simply loving to be the center of drama no matter what.  So I do think and hope that she has a greater chance if he ever rejects her outright than the standing on the edge ready to jump histrionics I think she employs more for the cameras or simply when the attention is being drawn her way.

[JudyObscure]

On ‎9‎/‎1‎/‎2016 at 8:04 AM, Jillibean said:

That said, I don't think it's just mean girl mentality or loyalty to Ashley that has led to Caila not forming any real friendships on either of her seasons so far--and on Ben's season the women were pretty close, for the most part. I said at the time that Caila seemed like someone who had had emotions described to her and was doing her best to emulate them, and I still feel that way. She's mild, and smiley, and articulate and careful in what she says. But she's either the world's blandest person, or there's another side to Caila that she keeps behind her carefully crafted exterior, and either way, it seems to be off-putting to others. 

On ‎8‎/‎12‎/‎2016 at 10:39 AM, bblancobrnx said:

 

 

I agree with Jillibean's  impression of Caila.  To me she has always seemed like she decides if someone can be useful to her before being nice to them.  That would explain The Hepburn's interesting link, where the production team all like Caila but the cast members mostly seem to dislike her.  It would also explain agreeing to accept a proposal from Jared while not actually liking him.

That said I find that list of who the production people like as very revealing.  It's like people who are rude to waiters, so anyone on that list who production calls, "difficult," is sort of dead to me now.  I'm talking about you Carly, Ashley and Nick.  I just picture lots of keeping cameras waiting while they put on extra eyelashes or just thinking of themselves as the, "star."

Who is left to like?

On ‎8‎/‎12‎/‎2016 at 10:39 AM, bblancobrnx said:

 

[Mabinogia]

2 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

To me she has always seemed like she decides if someone can be useful to her before being nice to them.

I'm curious where that impression comes from. I don't disagree necessarily, I'm just curious because I was trying to think about it and I'm not sure Caila has really been shown to have friends at all which gives me the impression she either thinks she's above these idiots (which really isn't hard to believe at all given the low bar they set) or she is just more reserved and doesn't easily make friends. Either way, I find it highly bizarre that she would have gone on this shit in the first place. Which means she must be just as much a fame whore as the rest of them, which is odd because she is not playing the game properly to achieve full fame potential.

[FamilyVan]

I am totally not understanding the campaign to bash Caila that Ashley seems to be on, via her snapchat, cosmo articles, etc.  Jared and Caila have already parted ways so why continue the vindictive behavior for months after?  Seriously what is the big smoking gun that she is going to prove about Caila?  Was it that Caila wanted to continue to pursue her relationship with Jared engaged or otherwise?  One of the last things Caila said before she left was I don't need the attention I will just leave.  She did not care if it was on TV or not.  To me Caila was just too good for this show, she is poised, diplomatic and tactful.  In a BN world where catty hens who melt down and make fun of everyone like Lace and Carly are the standard behavior to benchmark, someone like Caila will probably not mesh well.  Caila = the new Tina Fabulous.  

 

Quote

I agree with Jillibean's  impression of Caila.  To me she has always seemed like she decides if someone can be useful to her before being nice to them.  

To me this is what Ashley does.  When she was talking to Wells, she commented that she was "acting" in a certain way, and Wells was responding favorably to it, so she would try to keep up this "act" with him because it was working.  The "act" that she has discovered works well with Jared is crying and melting down.  Who is the calculated stealth bitch here?  

Edited September 2, 2016 by FamilyVan

[booboopbedoo]

Quote

St. Lucia wasn't really a couples' trip because Ashley's sister Lauren was also there. I saw some of the pictures from the trip on Instagram, and it didn't look like Ashley and Jared were being "romantic" with each other at all, and Lauren was in most of the pictures.

Oh Lord! I forgot she had a Sister! Make it stop! Where is Gordon Ramsey when you need him!

[violetr]

Finally watched this episode of After Paradise and wow, the fact that Jared is obsessed with Rob Thomas speaks volumes. It's like being obsessed with the color beige.

[JudyObscure]

6 hours ago, Mabinogia said:

8 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

To me she has always seemed like she decides if someone can be useful to her before being nice to them.

I'm curious where that impression comes from. I don't disagree necessarily, I'm just curious because I was trying to think about it and I'm not sure Caila has really been shown to have friends at all which gives me the impression she either thinks she's above these idiots (which really isn't hard to believe at all given the low bar they set) or she is just more reserved and doesn't easily make friends.

You know, I asked myself the same question and I can't really say, other than maybe the bubbly way she acted with Ben compared to how relatively passive she was  with the girls.  Now, in Paradise, the cast members seem to think she's a bit superior acting while the producers think she's really nice.  The only reason I can think of for the discrepancy is that Ben and the producers are the people with power and the other girls are just competition.  She reminds me of people on the job who never make friends with the fellow workers but are super nice to the boss when she comes in.  If this were a real life situation I wouldn't make such groundless accusations but this is TV so I'm postulating.

 

6 hours ago, FamilyVan said:

 Who is the calculated stealth bitch here?  

Can't they both be?

[Mabinogia]

2 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

You know, I asked myself the same question and I can't really say, other than maybe the bubbly way she acted with Ben compared to how relatively passive she was  with the girls.  Now, in Paradise, the cast members seem to think she's a bit superior acting while the producers think she's really nice.  The only reason I can think of for the discrepancy is that Ben and the producers are the people with power and the other girls are just competition.

Okay, I can see that. Like, she knows who she has to make an effort with and who she doesn't really need to bother with. I know it's sad but I don't tend to trust people who always seem smiley and bubbly. I think she is a people pleaser type who feels like she has to not submit, exactly, but be pretty and sweet and pleasant to people "above" her.

But I don't think she lied to Ashley when she said she wasn't going to go after Jared and that he wasn't her type. I think, when she said it, she meant it. He wasn't her type and she wasn't going to go for him. But when she got to Paradise she actually met him and that changed. I don't think she promised Ashley anything. I've said things in passing that later turned out to be false. I didn't do it intentionally but it happens. I think Ashley just takes everything exactly the way she wants to and has zero regard for the truth.

I'm fairly neutral on Caila. Maybe she is nicer to the people who can get her something but I don't think she is cruel or hurtful to the people who can't where as Ashley is a straight up bitch who would not hesitate to lie to get what she wants so for me, anyone looks like a saint in comparison to her, except Jared who is becoming as terrible as her.

[Real4real]

So . . .if Nick is considered "difficult" by the production team--how likely is it that he will get a good edit as the Bachelor?  I was trying to come up with any of the past Bachelors or Bachelorettes who came out of this completely unscathed.  Yes, there have been a couple of success stories, but it was still a bumpy road.  I think Nick better buckle up, especially if he is on the wrong side of the production team.

[chocolatine]

Could someone please link to that article about who the producers find "difficult"? I haven't been able to find it.

[truthaboutluv]

15 minutes ago, chocolatine said:

Could someone please link to that article about who the producers find "difficult"? I haven't been able to find it.

Not sure what the previous poster is referring to but the only thing I've read recently about someone being difficult was ET's story after Nick was announced as the Bachelor. In it they claimed that according to their sources, it was Luke who was being difficult and making a lot of demands during negotiations and it was one thing that contributed to the last minute switch.

[gator12]

The poster is talking about a reddit thread where someone who claims to work for production had something negative to say about every cast member except for Caila. 

[chocolatine]

39 minutes ago, gator12 said:

The poster is talking about a reddit thread where someone who claims to work for production had something negative to say about every cast member except for Caila. 

I'm highly suspicious of posts like that. There were 20-odd cast members on the show; it's highly unlikely that every one of them except Caila was  "difficult" in some way.

[ribboninthesky1]

The reddit link was posted upthread.  Whoever the alleged insider is that posted did not write that all other cast members except Caila were difficult. Not all cast members were listed, I believe those referenced included Caila, the twins, Nick, Ashley, Carly, Chad, Jubilee, Josh, and a couple others, I forget.  Most of the alleged difficult/arrogant ones, if true, were no surprise. 

I'm no Nick fan (though can acknowledge he's hot), yet I was surprised he would be listed. But grain of salt, mileage varies, and all that. His season will either bolster his redemption or be the nail in the coffin.  We'll see. 

Edited September 3, 2016 by ribboninthesky1

[thehepburn]

re: the reddit post

Caila was the only one who got an unequivocal thumbs up but The Twins and Evan were also nice, according to the crew member.

[gator12]

Going back to that reddit post, it wasn't a screw member, but a friend of a screw member, #allege. 

I don't know much about reddit but people who hate Nick swear it always accurate, insider knowledge, etc.

Quote

From what I've been able to get out of her, it's primarily just been how people are willing to interact and deal with the crew. And their general empathy for people. My friend isn't a producer or one of the creatives (I won't say her position in case a higher up is somehow on here and able to figure out who I'm referring to). But her job never involved needing to get cast members to actually do anything, like be manipulated for plot purposes. So she was usually able to get a general good read on how they were as actual people.

But this is what I've gotten out of her regarding a few people in the cast: * Carly - She's really phony and wears a lot of makeup

Evan - He was creepy at first but she slowly came around to him and found him to be friendly/endearing

Chad - such a fucking asshole, he didn't remember that he pooped himself. A producer actually slipped in the poop

Nick - very arrogant, tends to only think about himself

Lace - a drunk mess

Jubilee - was a pain, but only really worked with her for 2 days

Twins - really sweet but incredibly dumb and boring

Josh - chews obnoxiously loud, can be a dick

Caila - really cute and couldn't be sweeter

Ashley - "Oh my god, I hate that fucking c***, she was the worst to deal with"

Those are what I remember, we tend to only discuss, we don't really talk about the more boring people

https://www.reddit.com/r/thebachelor/comments/509o1q/does_anyone_know_who_lace_was_referring_to_when/d737q6e

Edited September 3, 2016 by gator12

[ByTor]

I'm confused about the Chad comment.  Someone from the crew got poop and placed it in Chad's pants? *shudder*

I do have to wonder about those who were deemed "difficult."  I mean, define difficult.  My definition would be someone who is being a straight up ass, but how would a producer define difficult?  Perhaps someone who has wised up to their shenanigans and refused to play along in the game of maximum drama.  That's likely why Nick was called difficult, he's been around the Bachelor-verse enough times to know what's what.

9 hours ago, Mabinogia said:

I'm fairly neutral on Caila. Maybe she is nicer to the people who can get her something but I don't think she is cruel or hurtful to the people who can't where as Ashley is a straight up bitch who would not hesitate to lie to get what she wants so for me, anyone looks like a saint in comparison to her, except Jared who is becoming as terrible as her.

I don't think so either.  Is that nice act fake?  Maybe, but Ashley called her a piece of *bleep* (which I assume was shit), I really doubt that's true.

Edited September 3, 2016 by ByTor

[DEL901]

56 minutes ago, ByTor said:

I'm confused about the Chad comment.  Someone from the crew got poop and placed it in Chad's pants? *shudder*

I read it as the producer slipped ON the poop, probably while walking past him, not that he slipped it in his pants.

[thehepburn]

7 hours ago, gator12 said:

Going back to that reddit post, it wasn't a screw member, but a friend of a screw member, #allege. 

I don't know much about reddit but people who hate Nick swear it always accurate, insider knowledge, etc.

https://www.reddit.com/r/thebachelor/comments/509o1q/does_anyone_know_who_lace_was_referring_to_when/d737q6e

Um, I follow several different forums on reddit and you get lots of ppl from the shows posting there. You should check it out since you admit you dont know about it.

[gator12]

By people on the show do you mean cast members or anonymous people like the one above?

[gator12]

1 hour ago, ByTor said:

I do have to wonder about those who were deemed "difficult."  I mean, define difficult.  My definition would be someone who is being a straight up ass, but how would a producer define difficult?  Perhaps someone who has wised up to their shenanigans and refused to play along in the game of maximum drama.  That's likely why Nick was called difficult, he's been around the Bachelor-verse enough times to know what's what.

 

Well Chris Harrison did say Nick was a lot more quiet on BIP than he was the last two time. Maybe that what the crew member meant by difficult. He didn't gave them enough sound bites. 

[JudyObscure]

10 hours ago, Mabinogia said:

I'm fairly neutral on Caila. Maybe she is nicer to the people who can get her something but I don't think she is cruel or hurtful to the people who can't where as Ashley is a straight up bitch who would not hesitate to lie to get what she wants so for me, anyone looks like a saint in comparison to her, except Jared who is becoming as terrible as her.

I think Ashley has turned into a self-obsessed, boring, snot filled,  fat legged, big mouthed, liar, with  her development arrested at Age 13 Mean Girl Type 1  -- but I don't understand why I have to compare her in any way to Caila.

I just don't get the taking sides thing or the inference that if you dislike one you must like the other.   A criticism of Caila is not a compliment to Ashley or vice versa. 

[FamilyVan]

Quote

I just don't get the taking sides thing or the inference that if you dislike one you must like the other.   A criticism of Caila is not a compliment to Ashley or vice versa. 

I dislike Ashley and find her to have many negative qualities.  Not just on the show, but in her appearances on AP, in the "articles" she writes, her comments on social media, etc.   I do not find there to be anything unpleasant at all about Caila.  The only other person who seems really unpleasant to me from the show is Carly, who for some reason I can still like, despite this.

 

Also also - Ashley said unbelievably nasty remarks about Caila.  I take issue with this and I do not see any way that Caila deserved this.  So, yes, I will criticize Ashley for her nasty behavior specifically toward Caila.  To me she seems like a complete sweetheart, and did nothing wrong to deserve being called names.  I also like that Caila seems to know her own worth, and did not need to grovel or compromise her standards in order to keep things going with Jared.

Edited September 3, 2016 by FamilyVan

[thehepburn]

35 minutes ago, gator12 said:

By people on the show do you mean cast members or anonymous people like the one above?

Both. Again, you can check it out for yourself.

[hyacinth]

Why are so many people writing long, long - paragraphs long - posts about Caila?   To me, she's not Mother Theresa Caila, she's just a boring contestant who has never said anything witty or remarkable, though she does have some beautiful hair.   I don't identify with her at all (no one's ever accused me of being standoffish), and I wouldn't have left Paradise as long as Jorge was pouring free drinks.   

Edited September 3, 2016 by hyacinth

[Mabinogia]

Every one of those comments listed by this supposed crew member are things anyone watching the show could have said. Nothing sounded like insider information to me. Twins dumb? duh. Josh eats loud? duh, this is all shit we see by watching. Actually, it's all the general condenses I've seen by watchers of the show. None of it was at all revealing so why would it matter if the crew member were discovered by production as having told this friend exactly what we've seen? It sounded more like some loser wanting attention and trying to sound like they have connections to the show.

48 minutes ago, FamilyVan said:

I dislike Ashley and find her to have many negative qualities.  Not just on the show, but in her appearances on AP, in the "articles" she writes, her comments on social media, etc.   I do not find there to be anything unpleasant at all about Caila.  The only other person who seems really unpleasant to me from the show is Carly, who for some reason I can still like, despite this.

Yes, Ashley has proven herself to be a terrible person outside of the show as well as inside. Ironically the show doesn't quite portray her as a "villain" so much as some kind of deranged victim when, to me, she's far worse than Chad was.

I, too, find Carly unpleasant but oddly likable. I think the difference is a sense of humor. Carly seems to say most of her snide comments with her tongue placed firmly in cheek. When she was saying those horrible things about Evan she was almost saying them like she couldn't quite believe it. It came off less nasty than Ashley who seems to whole heartedly believe that Caila is a piece of shit for liking a guy and asking him on a date because Ashley has already peed on him to mark him as hers while giving Jared no say in this at all. I mean, hello, he could have told Caila no. It's not like she clubbed him on the head and dragged him back to her liar...(oh, I hope I didn't just give that psycho Ashley any ideas).

[JenE4]

21 hours ago, Mabinogia said:

I'm curious where that impression comes from. I don't disagree necessarily, I'm just curious because I was trying to think about it and I'm not sure Caila has really been shown to have friends at all which gives me the impression she either thinks she's above these idiots (which really isn't hard to believe at all given the low bar they set) or she is just more reserved and doesn't easily make friends. Either way, I find it highly bizarre that she would have gone on this shit in the first place. Which means she must be just as much a fame whore as the rest of them, which is odd because she is not playing the game properly to achieve full fame potential.

Maybe Caila is [gulp] There for the Right Reasons. [gasp!] I know, I know, truly being There for the Right Reasons is so circa early 2000s! But maybe, just maybe, she's not playing the famewhore game properly because she honestly believes she can find love!

Or--and lord help me this is going to sound racist but it truly IS a cultural difference with Asian people--I think Caila is first-generation American? If so, she was likely raised to "be smiley" and not express emotions in public. Again, I'm truly not meaning to come off as racist. Saying this as my experience with Asian immigrants and first-generation Americans--all such friends and coworkers have that same smiley exterior--even during negative experiences--and you don't know what they're really thinking (such as with my coworkers) unless you're very close to them (and it still takes prying with friends). Disclaimers that my intention is not to be bigoted and of course this doesn't apply to all Asian immigrants or first-generation or even peoples of all Asian countries, but the cultural difference MAY explain Caila's demeanor.

[Selkie75]

22 hours ago, Mabinogia said:

I'm curious where that impression comes from. I don't disagree necessarily, I'm just curious because I was trying to think about it and I'm not sure Caila has really been shown to have friends at all which gives me the impression she either thinks she's above these idiots (which really isn't hard to believe at all given the low bar they set) or she is just more reserved and doesn't easily make friends. Either way, I find it highly bizarre that she would have gone on this shit in the first place. Which means she must be just as much a fame whore as the rest of them, which is odd because she is not playing the game properly to achieve full fame potential.

My take has always been that Caila is very cautious, reserved and introverted and in a franchise where being as ostentatious as possible is celebrated and relationships are forged in mere minutes, her personality is a bit of an enigma, people don't know how to interact with her and she unfortunately becomes and easy target for jealousy, name calling, etc. Personally, I think one of the reasons I have always felt for Caila, going back to Ben's season, is that that she reminds me a little of myself. And as someone who is introverted and cautious, it's so uncomfortable to watch her being bullied for not being like the other girls on the show. I've wondered as well why she made the decision to go on the show.

On another note, I noticed something interesting re-watching portions of After Paradise. Right before Ashley came out, Jared was talking about the night last year when he and Ashley kissed, followed by their difficult conversation earlier this year, and feeling like he felt good about their friendship. At the very end of his comments, Michele Collins begins talking about how Ashley is also there and going to commercial, but Jared is still talking, he looks over at one of the other guests, and says "I was wrong". Now, moments later, he hugs Ashley when she comes out, says "it's fine" when she mentions wishing she had given him dignity to make his own decisions, and it doesn't excuse the fact that their relationship is completely dysfunctional, but it's interesting that he admits being wrong. I added a link to the video below; his comment comes at about the 5:37 mark. Curious what others think about him saying that. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lralaLEvTFI

Edited September 3, 2016 by Selkie75
Forgot to mention last sentence in first paragraph.

[truthaboutluv]

Quote

Maybe Caila is [gulp] There for the Right Reasons. [gasp!] I know, I know, truly being There for the Right Reasons is so circa early 2000s! 

To be fair, let's remember that Caila was the woman who dumped her boyfriend after seeing Ben on television because "something" told her he may be the one for her and made her realize her current relationship wasn't working for her. So she applied and got cast for the show while still living with her boyfriend of a year or two. Also said boyfriend was the one she met on a plane, then bumped into some months later and felt that it was a sign of them being meant to be. But seeing an edited version of some guy on a reality show made her question that relationship and think that guy may be the one for her.

I remember, after this was shown in the season premiere episode, thinking Caila was either a complete loon or someone less interested in a real-life relationship and instead wanted some fictional movie romance that wasn't grounded in reality. Now none of this is an excuse for Ashley's insanity but I feel like many forget about this because after the season premiere, the season didn't really focus much on the whole story of her ex.

[JenE4]

28 minutes ago, truthaboutluv said:

To be fair, let's remember that Caila was the woman who dumped her boyfriend after seeing Ben on television because "something" told her he may be the one for her and made her realize her current relationship wasn't working for her. So she applied and got cast for the show while still living with her boyfriend of a year or two. Also said boyfriend was the one she met on a plane, then bumped into some months later and felt that it was a sign of them being meant to be. But seeing an edited version of some guy on a reality show made her question that relationship and think that guy may be the one for her.

I remember, after this was shown in the season premiere episode, thinking Caila was either a complete loon or someone less interested in a real-life relationship and instead wanted some fictional movie romance that wasn't grounded in reality. Now none of this is an excuse for Ashley's insanity but I feel like many forget about this because after the season premiere, the season didn't really focus much on the whole story of her ex.

Oh, yeah! Good memory! I had forgotten about that. But I think that's more evidence that she's There for the Right Reasons, meaning to find love, not fame. No wonder why she and Ashley were friends if they both had that immature, Disney princess, rom-com idea of True Love and soul-mate signs from the heavens. They probably would completely feed into each others' fantasies except that they both got signs that Jared was their Soul Mate. Oops! 

[SassyCat]

Here's what I think is a possible truth about what happened. Caila tells Amanda that she doesn't like Jared enough (yet) to go fantasy suite-ing with him after dating him on national tv for 2 minutes, but may be open to continue dating after the show, which means she'd be up for the usual hoopla of end of show "engagements",  to follow through with the relationship and see where it went with Jared after the show ended. Maybe Amanda took it  personally, because she was fantasy suite-ing her ass off, from the get-go with the charming chomping Josh.

Maybe Amanda was offended because she realized she was the one who was the easy lay, and Caila let her know she would NEVER go on public t.v. show and allow the world to know she's fantasy suite-ing with anyone. Because she's not the type to hop into bed, and has more control over her hormonal urges.

So she tells Ashley, that Caila said she didn't like Jared enough there then and now, but wouldn't be adverse to continuing the relationship under the guise of being "engaged" after the show.
Maybe that's what it sounded like to her who was trying to protect her own indiscriminate actions with Josh.

I do think Caila was attracted to Jared, and like a normal person wanted to take the time to get to know him better, before boinking on national tv.
I also think Caila would never in a million years open the bedroom door of her private life to tv viewers no matter how much she liked someone. I never would allow the world to know I was having sex with anyone ever. Period. It's not anyone's business but my own. It's the way some people were raised. Their personal sex life is off limits to the prying eyes of others, much less all of public television viewers. 

Ashley the virgin should understand that more than anyone there, but then again she's made her virginity, the world's information about her. That's her choice. 

So is Caila's choice to NOT share such personal info with the world, or with a bunch of girls who Wouldn't think twice about test driving their dates after a couple days. 

What is wrong with this world that treats women as if there is something wrong with them because they don't have instantaneous sex relationships with people they feel attracted to? Sounds like a perverted man's world to me. 

[fib]

Quote

 lord help me this is going to sound racist but it truly IS a cultural difference with Asian people--I think Caila is first-generation American?

Nope.  Caila's mom is first generation, and her dad is all american blueblood.  But she grew up as an expat all around the world, moving repeatedly, and in boarding school. i think she probably came off as haughty to people like the twins and ashley i, with all her talk of, 'the last time i was on a horse i was 9 in argentina'. My guess is that she is sweet, means well, and is a bit tone deaf.  I imagine she's the kind of person who has had a million interesting life experiences. But cant talk about Hansen.  Or spongebob squarepants. Or whatever entertains the twins. But ill bet she has a story to share for every worldly tale the others have, and instead of askinb questions and letting the other shine, she just unknowingly one ups everyone else's.  

Its a good way to slowly piss people off without doing anything 'wrong'.  My guess from watching her past two seasons is that she is super sweet, but has a low eq. And just isnt as great at relating to people as she thinks she is.  I chalk up a part of this to the fact that she is sooooo pretty, she gets positive feedback from men even when she does things that are generally socially unacceptable (an ex-roommate of mine was like this).

Edited September 3, 2016 by fib

[SassyCat]

I fully agree with everything fib just said, because I was unknowingly one of those people. I didn't know my life experience and upbringing was so different and fodder for jealousy from others until much later in life. 

My father was a semi professional golfer and the family would travel all over the country to his golf tournaments while I was growing up. To be that good a golfer and remain that way, my family belonged to the country club in the area, because you can be damned sure, he was playing at least 9 holes every day after his regular day job as manager of a car dealership. I was raised at a country club with country club people and with a swoosh of a pen I could sign for anything I wanted to eat, while spending my days at the pool there. 

When I rode horses, which was my first love, it was with friends who owned horses and boarded them at the hunt club. So I rode at the elite hunt club with them on a rental horse. It was normal for me. I was blind to class diversity growing up. My best friends family was poor, and I spent all my free time there. I never even noticed the difference in our houses! I saw with my heart, not my pocket.

Even to this day if I mention to others I know that I used to ride at the hunt club, they get all quiet and roll their eyes at each other. The people I speak of are millionaires, and I am the furthest from being a millionaire that they know! Still, it's an act of jealousy to deny me, my truth of what life was like for me, growing up!

Heaven forbid I tell them that when I skied, it would sometimes be in the alps with my mother on a European vacation. I had a charmed life growing up, but I didn't know it until much later. It was all just what was normal to me. It doesn't make people think they are better than others, it means, that was what their personal experience was in life.

I was very lucky growing up in some ways , but then you see I preferred to be with my poor friends family because I suppose I wanted family closeness like a normal kid would, and I got it that way. They're was no family closeness in my family. I didn't know it at the time, I just intuitively gravitated towards the place where I felt more at home than in my own home.

People cannot relate to those who had country club upbringing, but those of us who had it, should not be automatically thought of as stuck up or thinking that we think we are "better" than them. It doesn't work that way. It just is what it is,.. (and I hate that expression).

 We did nothing wrong by being honest about our lives. It's not the fault of children born to those who have a bit more freedom to experience a more lavish lifestyle than the average family does. It's just part of who they are. But then there are the haters. No matter what they've achieved in life, I can tell you, they sneer at people who dared to have a more diverse, worldly, upbringing, than they did.

[Nowhere]

3 hours ago, SassyCat said:

Here's what I think is a possible truth about what happened. Caila tells Amanda that she doesn't like Jared enough (yet) to go fantasy suite-ing with him after dating him on national tv for 2 minutes, but may be open to continue dating after the show, which means she'd be up for the usual hoopla of end of show "engagements",  to follow through with the relationship and see where it went with Jared after the show ended. Maybe Amanda took it  personally, because she was fantasy suite-ing her ass off, from the get-go with the charming chomping Josh.

Maybe Amanda was offended because she realized she was the one who was the easy lay, and Caila let her know she would NEVER go on public t.v. show and allow the world to know she's fantasy suite-ing with anyone. Because she's not the type to hop into bed, and has more control over her hormonal urges.

So she tells Ashley, that Caila said she didn't like Jared enough there then and now, but wouldn't be adverse to continuing the relationship under the guise of being "engaged" after the show.
Maybe that's what it sounded like to her who was trying to protect her own indiscriminate actions with Josh.

I do think Caila was attracted to Jared, and like a normal person wanted to take the time to get to know him better, before boinking on national tv.
I also think Caila would never in a million years open the bedroom door of her private life to tv viewers no matter how much she liked someone. I never would allow the world to know I was having sex with anyone ever. Period. It's not anyone's business but my own. It's the way some people were raised. Their personal sex life is off limits to the prying eyes of others, much less all of public television viewers. 

Ashley the virgin should understand that more than anyone there, but then again she's made her virginity, the world's information about her. That's her choice. 

So is Caila's choice to NOT share such personal info with the world, or with a bunch of girls who Wouldn't think twice about test driving their dates after a couple days. 

What is wrong with this world that treats women as if there is something wrong with them because they don't have instantaneous sex relationships with people they feel attracted to? Sounds like a perverted man's world to me. 

Except that Caila was getting pretty hot and heavy with Jared on their date and the announcement that she had a bruise on her butt because of something he did leaves it pretty open for the audience to interpret that they had sex or close to it. Jared was in between her legs in that pond and she had no problem with the camera being there. So I don't think anyone dislikes Caila because she's virtuous. I don't know why they dislike her but I think it's clear she would have gone to the fantasy suite with Jared if Ashley wasn't in the way.

[Jillibean]

Quote

I also think Caila would never in a million years open the bedroom door of her private life to tv viewers no matter how much she liked someone. 

Caila did exactly that with Ben, though. Went into the fantasy suite in a bikini top and skirt and made out with him on the bed for a bit before the shot cut to fireworks and the light in the window turning off. I highly doubt they would have shown anything more suggestive on this show, and at least the guy in question would have been dating only her. 

I think Amanda and then Ashley's interpretation of whatever Caila said that made them upset was probably not generous. But I don't see any reason or evidence to think it had anything to do with the fantasy suites in any capacity. I know Caila presents as a different type of person than others who are on this show, but she's not exactly pure as snow either (nor should she be! She's a person, not an animated princess). She knew what she was signing up for when she came on BiP. And unless I'm wrong about the process, she would have had to stay through fantasy suites to get to the engagement, and the argument was supposedly about Caila telling Amanda she would get engaged even though she wasn't that into Jared. And honestly, watching this show, she doesn't seem that into Jared to me. She seems more like she wants to like him than actually falling for him. 

Also, what Nowhere said.

[SassyCat]

Wow, I completely forgot Caila went to the fantasy suite with Ben, back then, and yes I was surprised at her date with Jared when she was in that water with her legs almost wrapped around him. She just didn't seem like the type who would be caught in a compromising position. I do admit I was surprised with that.

[fib]

She also described herself as a 'sex panther' if im not mistaken...

[chocolatine]

1 minute ago, fib said:

She also described herself as a 'sex panther' if im not mistaken...

Ben described her as a "sex panther" on the Bachelor, and Jared said the same thing on BiP. I don't recall Caila referring to herself that way though.

[fib]

30 minutes ago, chocolatine said:

Ben described her as a "sex panther" on the Bachelor, and Jared said the same thing on BiP. I don't recall Caila referring to herself that way though.

Oh yeah.  But i do remember she reveled in it a bit.  

[ribboninthesky1]

5 hours ago, fib said:

Caila's mom is first generation, and her dad is all american blueblood.  But she grew up as an expat all around the world, moving repeatedly, and in boarding school.

Interesting.  Makes me think that she never took the franchise that seriously, but then I didn't pay much attention to her on original recipe.  

I'm not sure Caila is sweet, and I'm okay with that. Polite, yes.  But she seems to be direct enough when necessary, and when she's not into it, you can tell (i.e. her date with Brett).  I chuckled when she told Jared she was leaving, and he said something like, "Wait, let me talk to Ashley." Her response was akin to, "OK, well, I'm leaving, I don't need to talk to anyone else." 

I think someone like Amanda seems sweet, but also a clueless pushover.

I would not be at all surprised if Caila ends up in a serious relationship, if not engaged, within 12-18 months of this season's end. Maybe she'll pull an Ames and pretend like she wasn't a repeater (check out the article on Ames in the Bachelorette Media thread if you need context). 

[Canada]

I do find all this in-depth speculation about Caila quite interesting.  My take: maybe she really is just a fake bitch.  It could be true.

[ribboninthesky1]

I don't know if she's fake or a bitch, but she's definitely got many giving her the benefit of the doubt in the Jared/Ashley mess and got people talking. It's more than can be said for others. No doubt she's generated more interest compared to her first Bachelor appearance. Caila, now's the time to shill on the 'gram!  

[Pixel]

She strikes me as someone who sees herself as better than the others in the cast, but is polite to their faces. Which is how you should be. Is she supposed to tell them she thinks they're dirtbags? No, she's being appropriate and not saying anything if she can't say something nice. I think I'm better than most of that cast too, and I am no high-falutin' rich girl. 

[chocolatine]

26 minutes ago, Pixel said:

She strikes me as someone who sees herself as better than the others in the cast, but is polite to their faces. Which is how you should be. Is she supposed to tell them she thinks they're dirtbags? No, she's being appropriate and not saying anything if she can't say something nice. I think I'm better than most of that cast too, and I am no high-falutin' rich girl. 

But she's not better than anyone in the cast, because she's on this show, just like them. 

[Nowhere]

Sure it's great when the producers think she has manners and a look that makes good tv. It's wonderful when everybody who watches the show sees her as a quiet, pretty girl with a good edit. It helps the audience sympathize with her when there's an Ashley running around trying to sabotage her every move and then she gets the good questions on After Paradise because poor Caila. What does it mean though when everyone that actually hangs out with her for any length of time doesn't like her?

I mean just because we don't like Ashley and Ashley doesn't like Caila doesn't mean Caila equals good. That's sort of the enemy of my enemy is my friend type scenario. Well, no not always. 

Have you ever met one of those people that something bad always happens around them but it's always somebody else's fault? The first time you can sympathize but then after the third or fourth time you're like, "Ok it can't possibly be everybody else's fault all of the time. Why is the common denominator in all problems this one person?" Right? So from what we've seen, Caila has almost zero friends. You'd think somebody would like her. 

Edited September 4, 2016 by Nowhere

[SassyCat]

7 minutes ago, Nowhere said:

Sure it's great when the producers think she has manners and a look that makes good tv. It's wonderful when everybody who watches the show sees her as a quiet, pretty girl with a good edit. It helps the audience sympathize with her when there's an Ashley running around trying to sabotage her every move and then she gets the good questions on After Paradise because poor Caila. What does it mean though when everyone that actually hangs out with her for any length of time doesn't like her?

I mean just because we don't like Ashley and Ashley doesn't like Caila doesn't mean Caila equals good. That's sort of the enemy of my enemy is my friend type scenario. Well, no not always. 

Have you ever met one of those people that something bad always happens around them but it's always somebody else's fault? The first time you can sympathize but then after the third or fourth time you're like, "Ok it can't possibly be everybody else's fault all of the time. Why is the common denominator in all problems this one person?" Right? So from what we've seen, Caila has almost zero friends. You'd think somebody would like her. 

YES! I have met one of those type of people! It's the person who taught me the true meaning of two-faced people! They truly do exist. So nice to your face and to the world but underneath they have nothing but contempt , and judgement for most people. They have colleagues, but not alot of real close friends, maybe one who is loyal and unassuming.

 You'd never know it! Until you catch them at their back stabbing behaviour, and it's not easy. They are VERY careful not to get caught. Nobody who doesn't have the facts could ever believe miss perfect could be so diabolical!

Hmm,  Interesting, tho I am not saying Caila is this, because I do not have the facts.

[Nowhere]

1 minute ago, SassyCat said:

YES! I have met one of those type of people! It's the person who taught me the true meaning of two-faced people! They truly do exist. So nice to your face and to the world but underneath they have nothing but contempt , and judgement for most people. They have colleagues, but not alot of real close friends, maybe one who is loyal and unassuming.

 You'd never know it! Until you catch them at their back stabbing behaviour, and it's not easy. They are VERY careful not to get caught. Nobody who doesn't have the facts could ever believe miss perfect could be so diabolical!

Hmm,  Interesting, tho I am not saying Caila is this, because I do not have the facts.

Yeah. I agree. We don't really know what's going on but I just think it's a little weird that nobody really seems to like her and even Jared (who disgusts me btw) acted like he couldn't stand her on After Paradise. I know he has Ashley whispering in his ear but usually people can have an amicable split, especially if he knows he's the problem because of Ashley. You'd think he'd try to be nice but he was pretty cold. It makes me think that maybe Ashley wasn't the only problem in the relationship. Maybe Caila has some issues. Jared seems to attract that type. 

[MsPH]

35 minutes ago, Nowhere said:

Sure it's great when the producers think she has manners and a look that makes good tv. It's wonderful when everybody who watches the show sees her as a quiet, pretty girl with a good edit. It helps the audience sympathize with her when there's an Ashley running around trying to sabotage her every move and then she gets the good questions on After Paradise because poor Caila. What does it mean though when everyone that actually hangs out with her for any length of time doesn't like her?

I mean just because we don't like Ashley and Ashley doesn't like Caila doesn't mean Caila equals good. That's sort of the enemy of my enemy is my friend type scenario. Well, no not always. 

Have you ever met one of those people that something bad always happens around them but it's always somebody else's fault? The first time you can sympathize but then after the third or fourth time you're like, "Ok it can't possibly be everybody else's fault all of the time. Why is the common denominator in all problems this one person?" Right? So from what we've seen, Caila has almost zero friends. You'd think somebody would like her. 

I wouldn't say she has zero friends, maybe zero close friends from the franchise, but she does seem to have real friends off the show. However, I also think there's something off with her, and it frustrates me that I feel like I can't say that anymore without prefacing it with assurances that I don't condone bullying nor am I #TeamAshley (barf). It's not about taking sides, because life is not black and white. I tend to think they both contributed to whatever was going on and Ashley was just more open about it, since she can't keep anything to herself, whereas Caila is very controlled and polite. I mean when Caila arrived, the cast, apart from Emily, seemed happy to see Jared so excited about someone. They weren't hating on her right out of the gate. Yet by now almost everyone who was there is siding with crazy Ashley, and Jared himself, who's usually too nice for his own good, was acting very cold towards Caila on After Paradise. He also referred to some things that were said off camera. I just don't buy that they are all mean bullies or so loyal to Ashley I. that they go along with whatever she says. More often than not, when everyone has a problem with you, you're the problem.

On AP, Caila very much insinuated that Ashley was an ongoing problem in the relationship, because there's not enough room in Jared's heart for anyone else and "his friends" kept calling, yet she replied to Ashley's tweet about her Cosmopolitan recap by saying Ashley has nothing to do with why she and Jared aren't together. So which is it? Maybe she's just being nice and trying to put the issue to rest, but she's chipping away at her own credibility by saying one thing one day and the opposite the next. I honestly don't know which of her statements to believe, since everything she says seems so filtered and carefully crafted. She is very hard to read, so I'm not surprised if some of the things she said when she thought she doesn't need to filter herself were misinterpreted. If they were though, then why was she so quick to flee when Ashley addressed the issue? Did she explain herself and Ashley just refused to listen or didn't she even bother to try? She just seems very confused about who she is and what she wants. I already thought that during Ben's season and it's the main reason I dreaded the possibility of her becoming the Bachelorette. She needs to figure herself out before looking for a partner.

[Nowhere]

I did mean zero friends on the show and even that may be an exaggeration. But I don't remember seeing her really try to interact with the others and vice versa. Weird since she had so much screen time while she was there.

I honestly think the others were team Jared and they wanted him to be happy away from Ashley. So I don't think they were siding with Ashley. I do think as time went on they may have questioned Caila's sincerity with Jared. Why I don't know. It may have appeared that they took Ashley's side when in reality they just formed their own opinion and Ashley was constantly bitching about it to everyone. 

Ashley didn't seem well liked either. From what I could see, nobody wanted her around at all. They tried to pawn her off on guys and remember she was not given a rose. Nobody was pulling for her but the producers wanted her to stay so she stayed.