S05.E07: The Gift

[bluvelvet]

The thing with Cersei is that she is so arrogant that it probably never occurred to her that she herself may face a trial. Didn't Margery also scream "I'm the QUEEN" as she was being dragged away. I do wonder what Tommen will do now, especially since his mother talked him out of utilizing his military force.

I think my favorite part of the Olenna/Sparrow conversation was comparing their physical ailments.

Poor Jorah does come across as a lovelorn puppy dog, it needs to stop ..it's embarrassing.

Myrcella said she had been in Dorne for years now much time has passed on the show?

I have to admit, when Sansa reminded Ramsey of his origins I gave her a high five, that being said I thought he was going to slap her or something. In retrospect, Theon did go straight to Reek, he wasn't punished and as someone mentioned that want the broken tower. Waste of space, Sansa girl you're on your own. I hope she doesn't get pregnant with Ramsey's spawn with his nightly visits.

[Knuckles]

Poor Oberon...these Sand Snakes are his legacy? Obie deserved better. They are tedious beyond words...and though Bronn is giving it his best shot, Jaime seems wan, his scene with Myrcella was flat. Zero chemistry there. 

[Lady S.]

It was glorious wasn't it! That entire conversation at the end with the high sparrow was a thing of beauty, he allowed her to sink herself royally.

That last shot of him smiling as we could hear Cersei still screaming about being a queen and calling the septas hags? That was a real thing of beauty.

Fuckingly depressing episode!

 

RIP Aemon T.  Was he talking to a pet dragon egg or was that short for Aegon, his brother?

 

I thought they were going to kill Theon, that he was going to pay the ultimate price with that fucking candle, I mean he’s been a dead man walking for a long time.

 

TG for Ghost, can’t believe he didn’t go with Jon, but glad he was there to save Sam.  And really Gilly, was that pity sex to give Sam hope or like a last dying wish?  Wonder how many NW are actually obeying their oath.

Egg was his brother Aegon's nickname, according to Sam. Hope Gilly heeds Aemon's advice to flee south. Sam sending her to Mole's Town last year is starting to look a lot less dumb. Sam losing his v-card was as awkward and unsexy as I expected, it's too bad Hannah Murray's prettiness has to be hidden in this role. Guess at some point Ghost decided he liked Sam better than Jon.

 

I thought it was clear: Theon is Reek now, and he went straight to Ramsay to tell on Sansa.  Sansa was desperate to believe that Theon was still Theon, but he is going to be Reek for a long time yet.  He is Ramsay's creature still and no amount of pleading from Sansa will get him to defy Ramsay.

Sansa was desperate to believe his still being Theon would matter since she also believes he murdered her little brothers. We know he didn't and that he claims to regret killing who he did, but I doubt Sansa took his forced apology in 5.05 all that seriously. Glad to see her learning of Jon's rise, but when is he going to learn of what's happening to her? That might have affected his decison of killing Boltons with Stannis or rescuing wildlings first, or at least I would hope.

I still have faith in Stannis, that was the first time he stood up to Melly since choking her in the s2 finale. He went from about to sample the firecrotch again to being pissed pretty quickly. And he was reluctant to sacrifice Gendry, but there's a difference between a nephew he'd never met and a daughter he'd already done his best to save before. When the show offs innocents, they usually don't drop 5,000 clues of the danger the way they have with Shireen.

Dany already showed Jorah some mercy by not ordering his immediate death, which is what she said would happen if he disobeyed her about showing his face again. And an enemy dwarf is still a lousy gift of love and devotion imo.

Edited May 25, 2015 by Lady S.

[bluvelvet]

So that's what Aemon said, I couldn't fully figure it out. Gilly needs to leave ASAP and the pity sex with a bruised up Sam was hella awkward.

[Constantinople]

As usual, one rule for the Lannisters, and another for everyone else.

 

Jaime gets a sunny, spacious apartment while in Dorne.

 

Bronn gets racked in the dungeon.

[Pete Martell]

Theon you fucking putz. I have to believe there is a redemption coming because otherwise the Winterfell/Sansa storyline is just too damn depressing. At least the show had the decency to not show Sansa's continued abuse, save for the bruised arms. 

 

I'd have more respect for them if they showed it rather than winking at it, since the fan focus is now not on Ramsay but instead on Theon "betraying" her and how she needs to get revenge. It's no longer about what Ramsay does to her, but about one abuse victim needing to make sure another abuse victim pays.

 

It's very ugly writing, but I guess it works, based on a lot of the comments I've seen online. It's made Sansa even more of a cipher and even more pointless in her own plotline, but if she gets to torture and kill Theon, I guess it's no biggie.

[CletusMusashi]

Here are my questions about this week:

 

Who is Acting Commander when Jon's gone? Please tell me it's Ghost, because that would be awesome. Ghost always knows exactly what to do. Eat zombies. Eat Thenn. Eat rapists. I was kind of hoping he'd eat Little Red Crazy Witch, but it looks like he might be too busy. 

 

Will Cersei and Margery have to do one of those "I hate you and you hate me, but together we just might be able to break out of this jail" schticks? I kind of hope so, 'cause I love those. Bonus points if they're shackled together at the ankle, and/or have to disguise themselves with fake mustaches or something.

 

Or will FrankenMountain end up smashing in there like the Kool Aid Man? This would also be quite acceptable.

 

As poison-happy as the Dornish are, why don't they spend five seconds checking prisoners for suspicious vials? It's certainly not like the amount of clothing they had to go through was overly daunting. Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm glad that Demi the Moor gave Bronn an antidote, but couldn't that vial just as easily have held enough poison to kill every guard in the prison? Dorne just seems like a really lazy half-assed government. Although I'd still totally rather live there than King's Landing.

 

Who's going to run the Council now? Qyburn? Pycelle? Who else is even still there? Obviously, I'm hoping for Ser Pounce, but the sad truth is that FrankenMountain probably already ate him.

 

And... doesn't anybody give a damn about dwarf cocks any more?

[Advance35]

Best scenes of the episode were the Winterfell ones by far. Sansa is quietly becoming a fave this season. As someone above mentioned, I noticed her "Things that make you go hmm" face when Ramsay mentioned that Jon is now LC of the NW. Glad she was able to stand up to him a bit. As someone who liked Ramsay at the beginning of the season (strictly because of his treatment of Theon), he can die now. He is now rivalling Theon as most hated character.

 

 

Sansa is the one character who truly makes me worry over her fate.  Ramsay is such a monster and unpredictable.   He seems to feel a sense of ownership of her, so I think he'll definitely have to die before he'll ever let Sansa go.    And I like that the show (as mentioned elsewhere) is showing that Sansa has been attacked (repeatedly) but not defeated.    

[Pete Martell]

Poor Oberon...these Sand Snakes are his legacy? Obie deserved better. They are tedious beyond words...and though Bronn is giving it his best shot, Jaime seems wan, his scene with Myrcella was flat. Zero chemistry there. 

 

They have so little idea what to do with Jaime I don't know why they didn't just have Cersei lock him in the dungeons for letting Tyrion out. At least we'd get to see him half-naked, which would be better than anything he's done in the last two seasons.

[AimingforYoko]

Who is Acting Commander when Jon's gone?

Ser Alliser Thorne, he's First Ranger. I guess that means second in command.

[Katalina]

I indeed missed the part where the twincest is known by the High Sparrow. I thought it was still at the point that Lancel had an affair with Cersei, and more important, assisted her in getting rid of her husband. I didn't know the incest was out in the open, officially. Sorry to lag behind the story!

[Mz Anthrope]

From what I could tell, Sansa picked up keys while walking behind Ramsay on the boards. 

 

I was *waiting* for the Sparrows to remember Lancel's confessions.  He'd 'unburdened' himself when he'd joined, thus freeing him (paraphrasing big time).  I am wondering if the High Sparrow knew this all along and just used Cersi's visit to maneuver his way into authority and the castle. 

 

Tyrion cracks me up!

 

Very sad to see Aemon go.  Loved his character.  He brought much and did so with quiet dignity. 

 

Yep, Sam's pretty much got Ghost at his back and that's about it from what I can tell.  Jon's gone, so there's not a lot of protection. 

 

Very interesting to see Marjery's true self come out.  Not one bit of whining... just really bitter determination. 

 

Not sure how long Stannis is going to do right by his daughter. 

 

Missing my Hodor, but thanking the Seven there's no fricking Bran

[CletusMusashi]

The twincest is about as big a secret as Loras' homosexuality. Or Tyrion's dwarfism.

[HumblePi]

I'm not loving Dorne, but I'm glad to see Bronn live another day.  Oberons' girls are very pretty (clothed, thank you), but that's all I can say for them.  Also, Jamie is going to get himself killed spending his life doing what Cersei says.

 

I like Bronn, he's honest about his dishonesty. Although the scene in prison when the Oberon girl, (I believe her name is Tyene), showed her beautiful breasts to Bronn to prove that the Oberon's are beautiful became just a little too gratuitous. Although, my husband clearly enjoyed the lengthy display of her amazing figure, I think that the scene just had a little more of it than it needed. I think the writers just wanted for fill up a few extra minutes on the show and thought that although it was unwarranted after a time, that the display of her breasts is something viewers wouldn't object to. But I have found many instances in Game of Thrones where displays of nudity did seem to be gratuitous as well.

[paigow]

Bronn gets racked in the dungeon.

As in "gets to check out an impressive rack"? Better than listening to teenage angst 

[rozen]

Meh, Theon/Reek did her a favor. He knows perfectly well how smart Ramsay is, and what happens when people disobey him (esp in a "boring" way). Sansa was asking for a one-way trip to a flayed hand, at best. And daddy Roose, with his full fighting force, is stationed in every nook and cranny of Winterfell. Girl, no.

[CletusMusashi]

Demi's breasts were absolutely critical to plot!

[paigow]

After Tyrion introduced himself, I had an "Unknown" flashback and expected Liam Neeson to run out and say "He is a liar...I am the real Tyrion Lannister"

[CletusMusashi]

After Tyrion introduced himself, I had an "Unknown" flashback and expected Liam Neeson to run out and say "He is a liar...I am the real Tyrion Lannister"

"I am Shortacus."

"No, I am!"

"No, I am Shortacus!"

[Lady S.]

I indeed missed the part where the twincest is known by the High Sparrow. I thought it was still at the point that Lancel had an affair with Cersei, and more important, assisted her in getting rid of her husband. I didn't know the incest was out in the open, officially. Sorry to lag behind the story!

Not so much open officially as rumored everywhere, I think. The local peasants were jeering Tommen as a bastard when he unsuccessfully went to the Sept in 5.04, and they did the same thing to Joff before the big riot in s2. Remember the street preacher in s2 who spoke of incest and called Tyrion the bastard king's demon monkey or something? That guy was probably a precursor to the current religous extremism. Even Sansa knows Tommen is a bastard, and she was one of the few not to know of Loras's proclivities.

Ser Alliser Thorne, he's First Ranger. I guess that means second in command.

And he had to remind us all he's a dick at Aemon's funeral by telling Sam he has no friends left. Jon should have listened to Stannis about not keeping enemies close imo. Alliser and Olly both need to be stationed elsewhere.

Poor Oberon...these Sand Snakes are his legacy? Obie deserved better. They are tedious beyond words...and though Bronn is giving it his best shot, Jaime seems wan, his scene with Myrcella was flat. Zero chemistry there.

He should done a better job raising them then, even Roose has more reason to be proud of his bastard. Obie apparently just taught his to fight and imparted no other lessons. Badly choreographed spear fighting was not worth making Whale Rider girl choose him over her mother.

[MrsRafaelBarba]

The twincest is about as big a secret as Loras' homosexuality. Or Tyrion's dwarfism.

The twincest is about as big a secret as Loras' homosexuality. Or Tyrion's dwarfism.

Some of the KL's poor and unwashed masses were screaming "Bastard!" at Tommen earlier this season.

[Slovenly Muse]

You know your show is glacially-paced when a character begins a relatively short journey toward another character, suffers a bunch of bizarre and unnecessary delays to draw things out during which nothing much really happens, and finally meets up with her 7 episodes later (with three to go in the season), and your fans are saying they're surprised the meeting happened "so quickly."

 

As much as I loved seeing Cersei hoisted by her own petard, shit just got real here! Now that Cersei has been imprisoned, there is no longer even the illusion of anyone or anything keeping the High Sparrow in check. The small council is as minuscule and ineffectual as Cersei could make it, the king is a helpless baby, and the only person who might actually care enough to lift a finger to help Cersei out of this situation, she has sent to Dorne. Apart from this being some rather glorious comeuppance for her, this means that King's Landing, the centre of power for the Seven Kingdoms, has been almost completely overthrown by religious fanatics. I'm enjoying Cersei's fate as much as the next girl, but the bigger picture here is really quite chilling. This is one genie that will not be going quietly back into the bottle!

 

I really hope the Dorne stuff turns out to have more of a point to it than just an excuse to get Jaime out of King's Landing while all this shit goes down. Right now it is not feeling like it.

 

Brienne and Sansa better rain bloody vengeance on the Boltons, or I will riot. I know this show doesn't let its characters ever be happy, but goddammit I need this one!

Edited May 25, 2015 by Slovenly Muse

[bobbyjoe]

I'd have more respect for them if they showed it rather than winking at it, since the fan focus is now not on Ramsay but instead on Theon "betraying" her and how she needs to get revenge. It's no longer about what Ramsay does to her, but about one abuse victim needing to make sure another abuse victim pays.

 

It's very ugly writing, but I guess it works, based on a lot of the comments I've seen online. It's made Sansa even more of a cipher and even more pointless in her own plotline, but if she gets to torture and kill Theon, I guess it's no biggie.

 

I think you make a good point, if that's where they go with this.  Some of the critics noting the number of rapes on GOT noted that there have been three so far, but it's interesting that they didn't classify Ramsay's torture and violation of Theon-- which was definitely sexually focused (if perhaps not literally penetrative)-- as yet another rape.  If you count that, there's been four (not to mention the almost-rapes like with Gilly on tonight's episode). 

 

So you make a good point-- if they indeed shift our focus to hoping Sansa gets revenge on Reek/Theon, then that is making us root for one victim against another, which is really, seriously a messed up thing for the show to do.

 

I'm just frustrated that Sansa is back in the "victim" position and at the mercy of yet another sadist, particularly when she seemed to be becoming much more of a stronger person this season.  We've seen this all before back with Sansa and with Jofferey at King's Landing, so I'm just praying that they flip the victim-Sansa routine and that corkscrew (or whatever she picked up tonight) ends up jammed between Ramsay's legs ASAP.

[paigow]

Obie apparently just taught his to fight and imparted no other lessons.

He was doing what Dornish do... Fightin and fuckin...no time for book learnin or fancy talkin lessons

[Triskan]

You know your show is glacially-paced when a character begins a relatively short journey toward another character

 

 

Half a continent.

[Pete Martell]

He should done a better job raising them then, even Roose has more reason to be proud of his bastard. Obie apparently just taught his to fight and imparted no other lessons. Badly choreographed spear fighting was not worth making Whale Rider girl choose him over her mother.

 

Well, they're crude and have a desperate need to be pervy at all times, so I guess he'd be proud they take after him so efficiently. 

[thuganomics85]

 

He was doing what Dornish do... Fightin and fuckin...no time for book learnin or fancy talkin lessons

Granted, we haven't seen much of him yet, but maybe the reason Doran seems like a decent enough of a leader in Dorne, is because he is sick, and he didn't have time for the Dornish "fighting and fucking" way of life.  I don't think we've been told yet how long he's been like this (or I just can't remember), but I can just see a young Doran being like "Well, I guess I ain't invited to the weekly/daily Dornish Orgy and Fight Fest again.  Might as well crack open some books and learn some things!", and then sadly wheel himself away.

[Lady S.]

You know your show is glacially-paced when a character begins a relatively short journey toward another character, suffers a bunch of bizarre and unnecessary delays to draw things out during which nothing much really happens, and finally meets up with her 7 episodes later (with three to go in the season), and your fans are saying they're surprised the meeting happened "so quickly."

Pentos to Meereen really isn't a short journey, Essos is even wider continent than Westeros. If Tyrion had stuck with Varys, I doubt he'd have gotten there much sooner, Ser Barry took from 1.08 to 3.01 offscreen to find Dany. I don't particularly like most of what's happened this season, but I don't understand the complaints that nothing's happened, especially since I thought the Jon and KL plots in s3&4 moved glacially slowly. There's been a lot of plot turns this season, it's just that most of them have been stupid, like the Unsullied choosing to use only their long spears instead of their swords or every single choice made down in Dorne.

I'm just frustrated that Sansa is back in the "victim" position and at the mercy of yet another sadist, particularly when she seemed to be becoming much more of a stronger person this season.  We've seen this all before back with Sansa and with Jofferey at King's Landing, so I'm just praying that they flip the victim-Sansa routine and that corkscrew (or whatever she picked up tonight) ends up jammed between Ramsay's legs ASAP.

Yes, I was reminded of her sassing Joff before Blackwater, there's nothing new here. She's just being more upfront with her contempt for Rams, which is hardly the most savvy plan imo since we know how he feels about defiance.

[dizzyd]

With the monarchy in KL pretty much overthrown, is the Game of Thrones an exercise in futility?  If "the many don't fear the few" any more and overthrow the monarchy, there would be no throne to play for and the throne room would just be a ruin like in Dany's vision in the House of the Undying.

[Slovenly Muse]

 

You know your show is glacially-paced when a character begins a relatively short journey toward another character

    

Half a continent.

 

True. But considering how far others seem to have travelled in the same time-frame, calling this meeting "a surprise it happened so soon" is still silly.

 

You're right, though, I wasn't considering the scale of the journey involved. But from a storytelling perspective, if not a geographical one, having Tyrion start his journey in episode one, then putting a pause button on his story while the writers find more excuses not to have him complete that journey, and finally achieve step one of his goal in episode seven, is glacial pacing. The real action of the storyline will (I assume) come as a result of their meeting. Why delay that? What purpose does all this filler serve? A good story doesn't need that. Get right to the good stuff and let it play out all season. Seeing multiple comments here expressing surprise that Tyrion and Dany met so soon is blowing my mind. The thing I really dislike about this show is how slowly everything moves. Storylines advance in maddeningly tiny increments from week to week, so that a large percentage of any given episode is spent "checking in" with characters and hinting at future events while waiting for something to actually happen. And I'm sure it's all been cut down a lot from the books, and that by book standards, plot developments are flying by, but I still can't shake my frustration that a show with SO MUCH story to tell can go to such lengths to tell so little of it in an hour!

 

 

And... doesn't anybody give a damn about dwarf cocks any more?

 

You're my new favourite.

Edited May 25, 2015 by Slovenly Muse

[Rhondinella]

I was really hoping they were throwing Cersei into the cell with Margaery.  I gotta say, I'm not sure which one would come out alive, but it would be amusing to watch.

 

Even Jon Snow can't be so clueless as to think that if he leaves Castle Black for an extended period, gives temporary command to his bitterest enemy, leaves behind a group of men who mostly hate him that things are going to be OK, can he?  That he's just going to waltz back in with a bunch of wildlings in tow and they'll give him back his command?  Seriously, he's done some dumb stuff but this is the most idiotic in my book.

 

So, we have an ineffectual boy king who literally no one will follow or obey now, the current queen is in a black cell, and the queen regent, who was nominally holding the kingdoms together is likewise imprisoned.  So who's going to run the show now?  I nominate Lady Olenna, with Littlefinger as her hand.

 

When I thought they were about to kill Bronn I began a VERY strongly worded tweet to Benioff and Weiss.

[HunterHunted]

I indeed missed the part where the twincest is known by the High Sparrow. I thought it was still at the point that Lancel had an affair with Cersei, and more important, assisted her in getting rid of her husband. I didn't know the incest was out in the open, officially. Sorry to lag behind the story!

Cersei is hilariously indiscreet. So it's possible Lancel squealed about the twincest. However I think he may only confessed his incestous couplings with Cersei. They are first cousins. Plus there is Lancel and Cersei's conspiracy to commit regicide.

Edited May 25, 2015 by HunterHunted

[direpup]

RE: The scene with Aemon's body on the funeral pyre...I wondered if his body would burn.  I guess he was like Viserys - a flammable Targaryen.

[Andromeda]

Much more satisfying ending than last week. Make me laugh out loud to see Cersei tossed into that “sufficient” cell. It started pretty rough, though, seeing Sansa treated like that. At least Joffrey never got around to raping her. Ugh, those bruises on her arms! And Theon — he deserves to be strung up. To think I cringed and felt bad for him when Ramsey tortured him. I take it all back — he doesn’t deserve my sympathy.
 
Then we get another near-rape with Gilly. That had me cringing until it ended. Too much, show! We get it, men beat up on and abuse women in this society. When it got to the Gilly/Sam sex scene, I burst out laughing. Total flashback to the Saturday Night Live sketch from a week or two ago where Gilly and Sam were the new “hot couple” — because all the rest of them are dead or broken up. Pretty much! I wouldn’t exactly call that scene hot, but good for Sam for finally getting some. And as he said in a previous episode, he’s not even breaking his vows since he hasn’t taken a wife.
 
My heart broke for Jorah. But I am thrilled beyond thrilled that Tyrion and Daenerys are finally sharing a scene together!! I've thought forever that he'd be a great advisor to her. Let's hope she doesn't decide to send his head back to King's Landing in a box... Nah, that's exactly what Cersei would want.

Edited May 25, 2015 by Andromeda

[areca]

Wonder how many NW are actually obeying their oath.

Their oath is not celibacy, but rather to father no children, nor marry.  It's to prevent a conflict of interest/leverage point.

[Rocket]

RE: The scene with Aemon's body on the funeral pyre...I wondered if his body would burn.  I guess he was like Viserys - a flammable Targaryen.

 

Well he was dead might need to be alive to activate fire proofing. And from the situation I take this fire resistance as a family genetic trait that not all have and must come from the will of the Targ. 

[dramachick]

I like Bronn, he's honest about his dishonesty. Although the scene in prison when the Oberon girl, (I believe her name is Tyene), showed her beautiful breasts to Bronn to prove that the Oberon's are beautiful became just a little too gratuitous. Although, my husband clearly enjoyed the lengthy display of her amazing figure, I think that the scene just had a little more of it than it needed. I think the writers just wanted for fill up a few extra minutes on the show and thought that although it was unwarranted after a time, that the display of her breasts is something viewers wouldn't object to. But I have found many instances in Game of Thrones where displays of nudity did seem to be gratuitous as well.

I thought Tyene bared her breasts to get Bronn excited and make the poison work faster due to his heart pumping harder.  She did this after asking how his arm felt a couple of times and him replying that he felt fine. She got a kick out of the power trip.

Edited May 25, 2015 by dramachick

[Andromeda]

I think Theon went to a different tower to squeal on Sansa. Wasn't the tower the servant woman mentioned a broken tower? Ramsey wouldn't be dining in an unused tower, so Theon purposefully squealed. At least, that's my reasoning...

That's what I took from the scene, too. Theon never went to the broken tower, he went to the main hall and ascended those stairs, and ratted on Sansa. Ramsey would never be dining in the drafty broken tower.

If you remember the very first episode (I think it was the first), where Bran climbed an abandoned tower and saw Cersei and Jamie doing it doggy style in an empty room -- THAT's the highest floor of the broken tower. So it was a viewer fake-out -- we knew as soon as the door opened on a posh dining room with Ramsey in it that Theon had run straight to him.

ETA: A previous poster also mentioned that infamous scene...

 

I like Bronn, he's honest about his dishonesty. Although the scene in prison when the Oberon girl, (I believe her name is Tyene), showed her beautiful breasts to Bronn to prove that the Oberon's are beautiful became just a little too gratuitous. Although, my husband clearly enjoyed the lengthy display of her amazing figure, I think that the scene just had a little more of it than it needed. I think the writers just wanted for fill up a few extra minutes on the show and thought that although it was unwarranted after a time, that the display of her breasts is something viewers wouldn't object to. But I have found many instances in Game of Thrones where displays of nudity did seem to be gratuitous as well.

Totally gratuitous when the camera panned down her body from a side view, then did a second slow pan down her front for a second view. We got it, show. She's showing him her boobs and cooter. Durh.

Here are my questions about this week:

 

Who is Acting Commander when Jon's gone? Please tell me it's Ghost, because that would be awesome. Ghost always knows exactly what to do. Eat zombies. Eat Thenn. Eat rapists. I was kind of hoping he'd eat Little Red Crazy Witch, but it looks like he might be too busy. 

 

Will Cersei and Margery have to do one of those "I hate you and you hate me, but together we just might be able to break out of this jail" schticks? I kind of hope so, 'cause I love those. Bonus points if they're shackled together at the ankle, and/or have to disguise themselves with fake mustaches or something.

 

Or will FrankenMountain end up smashing in there like the Kool Aid Man? This would also be quite acceptable.

 

As poison-happy as the Dornish are, why don't they spend five seconds checking prisoners for suspicious vials? It's certainly not like the amount of clothing they had to go through was overly daunting. Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm glad that Demi the Moor gave Bronn an antidote, but couldn't that vial just as easily have held enough poison to kill every guard in the prison? Dorne just seems like a really lazy half-assed government. Although I'd still totally rather live there than King's Landing.

 

Who's going to run the Council now? Qyburn? Pycelle? Who else is even still there? Obviously, I'm hoping for Ser Pounce, but the sad truth is that FrankenMountain probably already ate him.

 

And... doesn't anybody give a damn about dwarf cocks any more?

BEST. POST. EVER!!! Edited May 25, 2015 by Andromeda

[phoenix780]

Totally gratuitous when the camera panned down her body from a side view, then did a second slow pan down her front for a second view. We got it, show. She's showing him her boobs and cooter. Durh.

 

The way it was shot, with all the talk about being a beautiful woman, I genuinely thought she was going to have a penis.

 

I'm not getting any pleasure from Cersei possibly going down due to religious fanaticism, especially since she asked how to get out of jail right before being thrown in so it's probably not her time.  I also don't need threatened/actual sexual violence every episode.  What I'm left thinking, really, is that I'm owed some damn dragons.

[cynic]

I was so excited when Jorah and Tyrion rushed out to meet Dany. I'm hoping that the smartest Lannister improves her storyline, because she bores me normally.

Now, on to a less smart Lannister, Cersei is stupidly short-sighted and too-often blinded by emotion. I do appreciate that her characterization is consistent in this regard and that her arrogant scheming as come around to bite her in the ass. Tywin really should have embraced Tyrion as his heir, since he was the only one with a half way decent shot of heading House Lannister with any real savvy.

Poor Sansa. My heart breaks for her. I was really hoping that Theon would come through for her, but he was still just Reek after all. I was glad to see her start to feel out ways to manipulate Ramsay though with the bastard talk. I would like her to gain the upper hand with him and then to kill him in an incredibly satisfying way.

As an aside, my coworkers and I were discussing last week's episode. When Sansa came up, one of the guys opined that she wasn't raped, since it was their wedding night, she didn't say no, and he didn't really force her. Yeah. He actually said that. Outloud and everything. I hope Sansa's distress and the glimpse of her poor, bruised arms, puts his doubts to rest. On the other hand, considering Sansa's complete lack of power in that scene, I can't believe he would consider that consensual regardless of evidence of force, especially after watching Theon's horrified reaction.

[Lady S.]

Granted, we haven't seen much of him yet, but maybe the reason Doran seems like a decent enough of a leader in Dorne, is because he is sick, and he didn't have time for the Dornish "fighting and fucking" way of life.  I don't think we've been told yet how long he's been like this (or I just can't remember), but I can just see a young Doran being like "Well, I guess I ain't invited to the weekly/daily Dornish Orgy and Fight Fest again.  Might as well crack open some books and learn some things!", and then sadly wheel himself away.

I think of gout as more of an older person problem, but then I remembered the ep of King of the Hill where 12yo Bobby gave himself gout and had to cruise around on a scooter. Now I'm going to imagine Doran ruined his feet the same way from the Dornish equivalent of the "Louie Anderson" sandwich.

 

Meh, Theon/Reek did her a favor. He knows perfectly well how smart Ramsay is, and what happens when people disobey him (esp in a "boring" way). Sansa was asking for a one-way trip to a flayed hand, at best. And daddy Roose, with his full fighting force, is stationed in every nook and cranny of Winterfell. Girl, no.

Hmmm, I might have to agree with you there. And sacrificing a peasant as a prop actually could be a sign of Theon still being alive in Reek, since that was how his whole mess started. Theon's bad deeds have always had a huge dose of classicism involved, like how all of the women he was an asshole lecher towards were lowborn. Well, except for his sister, but having no idea she was his sister he probably assumed she was another common girl when he was groping her.

Well he was dead might need to be alive to activate fire proofing. And from the situation I take this fire resistance as a family genetic trait that not all have and must come from the will of the Targ.

Back in s3, Joff was pointing out where the Targs' ashes were in the Sept, so I think cremation is their standard funeral practice. A fireproof corpse would really only be a nuisance if none of the rest of them are buried whole, since piles of ash are better space savers. Did the dragonflame actually touch Dany when she fried Pyat Pree? If so, at least her clothes should have burned like they did on Drogo's pyre. I don't think her liking hot baths is proof of anything unless they were actually at a rolling boil. 

 

Thinking it over, my take on LF's title "gift" of Lancel is that he just pointed Olenna to Cersei's ex-boy toy and accomplice kingslayer and she gave him the last push he needed to spill all the dirt on Cersei. Maybe he had previously confessed to being a fornicator and murderer without naming names, because he still wanted to save Cersei's soul by convincing her to confess her own sins. 

On that note, I remember liking last season when Tyrion revealed Cersei loved eating boar because one helped kill Robert, now we learn the stag-king-slayer also enjoys eating dead deer as she tried to use the leftovers as her gift to Marg.

[Potanical Pardon]

So, we have an ineffectual boy king who literally no one will follow or obey now, the current queen is in a black cell, and the queen regent, who was nominally holding the kingdoms together is likewise imprisoned.  So who's going to run the show now?  I nominate Lady Olenna, with Littlefinger as her hand.

I had this theory last week, but now I'm more sure of it: The High Sparrow. He feels like a Pope Constantine analogue. Holy shit if he does and splits the Kingdom apart! Dorne/South don't really care. The North doesn't really care either. It's not like he'd be able to mount any attacks North or South. I think he'd be cool with that middle Westeros area. 

 

That would also lead me to fear for Loras, Mace and Margaery. They wouldn't have a point any more and Lady Olenna would just have to go back to Highgarden to her wheat, I guess. Unless Loras, Margaery...sigh, AND Cersei all team up to escape and get to be yet another on-the-run group on their way to Highgarden/Casterly Rock. Littlefinger wouldn't care, but if he found out Loras and Margaery survived, he might want to help them for Lady O just to not have that unknown come back and bite him in the ass one day.

 

Sam, Gilly and Ghost need to GTFO of Castle Black like yesterday. What're the rules for Maesters? I don't get that exactly. Did Maester Aemon become a maester first or NW? This feels like Sam is his legacy character and they did have that scene where Stannis told him to keep reading and if the library there was complete enough. They should head over to wherever all the maesters are and read up.

 

Jorah's fucked, but he'll probably be spared when he reveals that he's dying anyways, in return for bringing Tyrion to Dany. No idea how he's going to talk his way into her trust...maybe desperation? I'm sure he will, though, or Varys is hiding behind a curtain somewhere already waiting to help. Then again, he should be on her shit list too. I don't know.

 

If the shit going down in KL reaches Dorne, what happens to Jamie and Bronn then? Myrcella's useless politically now too. Oberyn did make it sound like they're cool with peace and love and all that, so maybe she and Tristain (sp?) will be allowed to marry anyways out of lurve. Feels like Jaime's one episode away from admitting to her that he's her dad and maybe they'll all get to just stay there and live until whatever storyline needs Jaime to go somewhere else. Bronn can have boobie Dorne babies and live his dull life.

 

Reek still has to pass on info about Bran and Rickon before he can make his redemption or sacrifice...probably sacrifice, but I have no idea what will snap him into crossing Ramsay. The only thing I can think of is a Vaderesque push out the tower window while Ramsay cackles. I do wish Sansa would get to do SOMETHING herself, though. It couldn't be her life being threatened in any way that I can think of because the Boltons need her to pop one out still. Hmm...maybe it has something to do with Rickon and Bran, I guess...like he can undo their "death" by saving them through giving Brienne, Podrick and Sansa the opportunity to look for them and not have Ramsay and the Boltons following in pursuit. They could run into Sam's group on the way for further information at least.

 

Jon needs to hurry with those Wildlings to make it in time to save Stannis' ass. The way this is going and the crap at The Wall, they're probably going to have to fight their way through again and we won't see any Winterfell battle until another season! Benjen better be there, because there's really no other point to his character. I suppose he could have something to do with the weirdy three-eyed-raven man tree person, but why? Or maybe Jon has to use the obsidian glass on zombie Benjen...shit I just realized that whole scene now means Jon has to battle through some white walkers before getting to the Wall again...he's never going to reach Stannis this year! I'm afraid this could only mean that Stannis is going to sacrifice himself for his daughter to escape with Davos and Stannis will never make it to Winterfell, which the way things are going won't even have Boltons around by then...but ooooooh Littlefinger. He's totally going to be there. Maybe Sansa doesn't run off with Podrick and Brienne after all. She'd more or less still be safe from Bolton loyalists if she lies about being pregnant and there'd be more willing Northerners watching out for her. If Roose is still around, then the trueborn fetus subplot becomes more relevant, but politically, he'd still have to keep Sansa/fake baby alive for some time and leave someone for Jon to take down whenever he finally gets there. I do think the whole sell-swords/horses dying stuff will leave Stannis' army all but done. So it's just going to be Jon and his new Free Men army coming.

Edited May 25, 2015 by Tandaemonium

[Conan Troutman]

I actually liked the prison scene, Tyene's boobies aside. Her interaction with Bronn was just so much better than Obarra's weird, uncalled for monologue a couple of episodes ago and really did establish the character to some degree. I also liked that she gave Bronn the antidote - assuming she wasn't lying. Clearly, killing him wouldn't really further their agenda one bit right now, so I guess that's supposed to tell us that there's still some rationality in play. I also didn't get the impression that the other two were in it, so maybe that'll lead to something. The best part of it, of course, is that Bronn might actually survive it, which I didn't think was possible when Jamie recruited him for that ill-fated mission, much less after he got that nasty cut.

 

Other thoughts:

 

- Another nice trolling job from the synopsis guy. "Brienne waits for a sign." No shit.

- The best scene of the evening award hands down goes to Olenna and the High Sparrow. Great stuff, GoT at it's finest! Good to hear him talking about the punishment, which seems to be backing up my intitial thought that while Margaery will face some consequences, it's probably not going to be death penalty.

- Nice of Ghost to rescue Sam & Gilly, but why the hell is (s)he not with Jon? Bad things tend to happen when you leave your direwolf, stupid.

- RIP Maester Aemon. His record of oldest man in Westeros will probably stand for a long, long time. Nice to finally see someone die of old age, a certain friend of Sansa's sadly won't get that luxury. Ramsey's death really needs to special, a simple Joffrey-style poisoning's not going to cut it, period. Speaking of: Sam's was pretty effective when getting in on the action before -  do I see a plot point coming? Too bad they already named the first one Sam jr...

- Stannis not willing to sacrifice Shireen will probably lead to some bad blood between him and Mel. It's been hinted at for a while, I can't see another outcome. Thank the seven gods of course, because that's the one crime I won't let the show get away with. Of course that's not good news for Stannis himself, but I think he might ultimately be better off without that devious witch - if he survives that war with the Boltons, that is.

 

ETA:

- Re: Cersei: "A day will come when you think you're safe and happy, and your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth." (Tyrion 2:08)

Edited May 25, 2015 by Conan Troutman

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Another nice trolling job from the synopsis guy. "Brienne waits for a sign." No shit.

Seriously! When the episode ended, I thought oh, so one shot of Brienne staring at Winterfell is enough to merit including that in the episode description?

 

Ramsay can DIAF. That terrible comment he made to Sansa about how long the nights are now made me want to cut the smug right off his face with a knife.

[candall]

Between the retail market in dwarf cocks and the bounty on dwarf heads, you'd think Tyrion would have pieced out at a higher price on the auction block.

 

Cersei putting herself into this bad spot is just delicious.  She systematically eliminated everyone with enough sense to stick a hand up Tommen's little puppet butt and get her out of there.  Baelish, Juan Peron and Mrs. Peel are the only brains left walking around in King's Landing. 

 

I haven't read the books and I don't know anything about the books, but I'm thinking the pace must be slowing way down because they're running out of Martin's story.  I think it's been two or three years since someone plunked a typewriter down in his lap at the Academy Awards and told him to get back to work.

 

P.S>Did you all really object to Short Hair Sandsnake's gratuitous topless display?  Because, damn, she was really sensual as she slipped those straps down. ("They're real and they're spectacular.")  As an equal opportunity admirer of nearly naked pretty people, Daario Naharis is very impressive, fresh out of the shower in The Age of Adaline.

[Hanna]

Still hope for Sansa

 

The old man in the pub who first spoke to Brienne passed the info to the old lady at Winterfell.

She was publically killed so that must be a sure signal that Sansa is in dire trouble.

[myname2use4now]

I'm kind of surprised that people dump on Cersei for not being "as smart as she thinks she is". I've always felt that this was another example of how women are treated in this (*ahem*) fictional world. Had she been a man, I think Tywin would have brought her up much more differently, teaching her the ropes. For sure, he was a miserable old bastard, but he was smart, except when it came to his kids. He even treated Tyrion like shit for his dwarfism and yet, Tyrion is one of, if not the, smartest characters on the show. Who gets all the attention? Pretty boy Jamie, that's who. Jamie has his strengths, handsome, a great fighter, charming, etc, but had Cersei or even Tyrion been granted the same consideration from their father, I think House Lannister would be in a much stronger position that it finds itself in. I think it's just a sign of the times but I see Cersei as being a lot of wasted potential. She certainly has the temperament to do what has to be done but perhaps not the schooling.

[wayne67]

I'm kind of surprised that people dump on Cersei for not being "as smart as she thinks she is". I've always felt that this was another example of how women are treated in this (*ahem*) fictional world. Had she been a man, I think Tywin would have brought her up much more differently, teaching her the ropes. For sure, he was a miserable old bastard, but he was smart, except when it came to his kids. He even treated Tyrion like shit for his dwarfism and yet, Tyrion is one of, if not the, smartest characters on the show. Who gets all the attention? Pretty boy Jamie, that's who. Jamie has his strengths, handsome, a great fighter, charming, etc, but had Cersei or even Tyrion been granted the same consideration from their father, I think House Lannister would be in a much stronger position that it finds itself in. I think it's just a sign of the times but I see Cersei as being a lot of wasted potential. She certainly has the temperament to do what has to be done but perhaps not the schooling.

 

I'm not sure Cersei's schooling is the issue. Even chess teaches a player to think more than one move ahead and she has relied on the Lannister name without having much else to recommend her. In a way all the Lannisters rely very heavily on their reputation rather than on their own skills. Tywin died because he expected Tyrion to back down because he theoretically was in power forgetting that a man who has nothing to lose is extremely dangerous to provoke. Jamie lost his hand for being a smug self satisfied git because he assumed his family name would protect him. Joffrey expected being King to excuse all his many failings, it didn't. Cersei acts out of pettiness more often than not. She armed religious zealots because she didn't like her Daughter in Law gaining power and influence over her son and Kings Landing, she kicked Selmy to the curb because she wanted to install someone in her pocket, she had Ned executed because he found out her dirty little secret, she conspired to have Robert killed without dealing with the loose end of Lancel.

 

Cersei reacts, she doesn't plan ahead so that she can deal with the consequences of her actions, hence Myrcella in Dorne, Joffrey dead, Jamie maimed and that serving girl thrashed.

 

Jamie is equally an idiot who doesn't appreciate consequences but at least he's not so PETTY which is the most irritating thing about Cersei. All of her schemes and power plays are so shallow and poorly thought out which undermines how awesome a ruthless character she could have been. Instead we merely laugh as her chickens come home to roost...

[bluvelvet]

I'm kind of surprised that people dump on Cersei for not being "as smart as she thinks she is". I've always felt that this was another example of how women are treated in this (*ahem*) fictional world. Had she been a man, I think Tywin would have brought her up much more differently, teaching her the ropes. For sure, he was a miserable old bastard, but he was smart, except when it came to his kids. He even treated Tyrion like shit for his dwarfism and yet, Tyrion is one of, if not the, smartest characters on the show. Who gets all the attention? Pretty boy Jamie, that's who. Jamie has his strengths, handsome, a great fighter, charming, etc, but had Cersei or even Tyrion been granted the same consideration from their father, I think House Lannister would be in a much stronger position that it finds itself in. I think it's just a sign of the times but I see Cersei as being a lot of wasted potential. She certainly has the temperament to do what has to be done but perhaps not the schooling.

You know, I've never thought of it that way before. Also while Tywin gave his energy to Jaime, he couldn't care less so the lessons went in one ear and out the other.

Also Jaime was pretty young when he joined the Kingsguard, so he was out of the running anyway and Tywin should have just concentrated on his other children.

Glad the sand snakes saved Bronn, but I assume there's a reason behind it. Also Myrcella should have been more curious as to WHY the snakes were trying to kill her and Jaime should have been more forthcoming.

[Knuckles]

I'm still amazed at the posters who object to what is happening to Sansa at Winterfell. The Boltons, father and son, are entirely vicious, one cool and calculating, one aspiring to cool and calculating while burning with murderous rage and resentment. Sansa is a captive surrounded by  Dreadfort soldiers and servants, presumably they also are terrified of the Boltons, exactly what agency do you expect her to have? 

As for objections to rape, that was the experience of many medieval women. Women of great Houses were married off at pre-teen or early teenage years, and valued as brood mares with dowries and hopefully some political value. Love or even affection...that might or might not happen, but it was very much an afterthought.

There is no point in viewing Sansa's situation thru a 21st century perspective...the idea of women's rights would be laughable to the medieval world. And the experience of common women was even more perilous..Roose's story of his rape of Ramsay's mother, while her husband dangled from a noose above her head, all because they failed to secure his permission to marry is not that rare. Serfs or peasants were owned, they were not independent citizens, they were at the receiving end of whatever their betters chose to dish out. The medieval world is one in which for most people, life was nasty, brutish and short.