CletusMusashi

And the vamps and wolves would be limited to non-iron-based weapons. Because, otherwise, witches could disarm them with all those semen-magnets.

I don't have a good enough ear for accents to know how authentic Frenchy really sounds, but, until I got used to him, he not only sounded like he as speaking in a natural fashion, but he was also exactly as hard to understand as real life immigrants with non-Hollywood accents usually do until I get used to their cadence, so for me it actually helped with suspension of disbelief.

Holy crap that was a lot of Christmas. I mean, yeah, going in to it I knew from the title that it was gonna be a Christmas ep, but that was just painful.

I hate moments of silence. Thank god for balloons.

I was hesitant to watch this, because even though the last two seasons have been pretty weak I still wasn't quite ready for the show to be over. Now, having seen it... I'm ready for it to be over. I mean, it wasn't as bad an ending as "Thrones" or "Buffy," but it wasn't nearly as strong as it should have been. Two years from now, the only thing about Season Five that I'll probably even remember is the episode with the dance montage.

Just now on the second viewing realizing that they snuck in a parody of Edna from "The Incredibles."

Okay, just to be contrary I'll choose Bran. I'll even pretend that he was chosen because he had the most interesting story, rather than because the Northern secessionists still felt entitled to decide who should be in charge of the south. So who else has an interesting story? Going into this as a non-reader, I'm gonna say... Hand of the King would be Davos. Making Jaime the "Hand" would be even more interesting, but I'm not bringing anybody back from the dead, so Davos is my remaining choice. Technically, he'd be the "Hand and a Half" of the king. Lord Commander of the Kingsguard: Shagga, Son of Dolf. He's shown a knack for protecting little wimpy half- men from the dangers of King's Landing, and it's hard to have a more interesting story than somebody who does everything while wearing that ridiculous Water Buffalo Lodge hat. Master of Law: Lord Robin of Nippletown. His whole "Plummet them to their death unless they're interesting" policy should assure that as many citizens as possible have interesting stories. Which is important, apparently. Master of Coin: Yara Greyjoy. Simply because I hated Balon and I like the idea of his heir making sure as many people as possible are paying the gold price for everything. Master of Whispers: Random Bird Cage Head Woman from Qarth. She seems to know what's up. And the random avian motif fits right in with Bran and Robin. Master of Ships: Salladhor Saan. Because the poor guy needs something to finally do. What was his story, anyway? Did he make a wrong turn at Albuquerquos? Grand Maester: Gendry Baratheon. Anyone who can figure out how to make glass into steel is an alchemist to be reckoned with. Plus, if you keep him around then Arya is more likely to swing by for an occasional booty call and save the world if necessary.

I think Theon is one of the few characters who got a good ending to their story arc. I'd hate to be one of the extra Iron Island red shirts, though. "Lord Bran, I am so sorry for how I have treated you that my men and I are going to stand next to you and get murdered by the Night King as a very, very temporary distraction, in case like Arya or somebody has turned into a super ninja." "Um, boss? Could you maybe have asked us about this first?"

The PR folk really need to come up with better catch-phrases than "That was lit."

Farewell, Translucent. Great villain, gruesome death. I almost with these eps were a bit shorter so I could digest more than one at a time.

That was a hell of a strong start. None of that "It's just a pilot, so be patient and wait for it to get better" shit; it's just honestly coming out of the gate as strong entertainment. And I didn't even want to like it, because I can't help but think that choosing this show had something to do with not renewing The Tick. And I do love me some Tick, but, whatever. I'm already invested in this new series. The only reason I'm not binging forward right into the second episode tonight is that I am very tired and would not retain enough details, so I'm gonna slow my roll just enough of a tad to enjoy this thing properly.

The game show schtick had a lot of funny components, especially the clown-job, but it was way over-extended. I'd rather watch twenty minutes of the characters acting like themselves than twenty minutes of "OMG, aren't Japanese games shows silly, LOL?" Yes, they are. But if I'd rather be watching a Japanese game show, I would watch a Japanese game show. A good counterpoint to how it was handled was the USPIS musical, which I would unquestionably rate as one of the funniest moments in the show's entire run. And all they did was go crazy with it for a few minutes and leave us wanting more. If they'd tried to make it a whole episode, that would probably have just been weird.

I hope Jenna survives a while, because she brings something to the table that none of the main 5 do: A complete unfamiliarity with this particular vampire mythos. She's the only character we've seen actually question things like "where do the clothes go," and, while I wouldn't have my cheesey cloaked bloodsuckers change form any other way I love that it bugs her. Apparently it bugs her enough that she can't even let her mind go enough to transform properly. She can, however, do to her low popularity, quite easily imagine being invisible. And, yes, "Buffy" did it first, but BtVS was basically the golden-era Simpsons of monster shows, so I'm not gonna lose any sleep over that one. The other vampires are what they are. I love them, but I don't think we're going to see any of them suddenly gain a bunch of new powers or go through much personality change. Gizmo is going through a lot personally, but he's either going to stay a human (most likely) or become a vampire who is way too genre-savvy to play in the Staten Island leagues for any amount of time. Jenna, however, stands to level up right in front of us, and I not only enjoy monstrous origin stories but also the exasperation that she will bring to the others with her learning process. Granted, Nadja has a soft spot for her because she remembers being the village wallflower herself, but I think Laszlo is about ready to see her fly away by now. And Gizmo is not happy with random catering leftovers being promoted ahead of him on the food chain!

Nandor is obviously meant to be the most Vlad the Impaler like of the show's characters. I find it darkly hilarious that the writers chose to demonstrate this by making him the most anal.

If it happens, I move that we name the "small talk" subforum "Blah Blah Blah."