It will be filmed on the grounds of a chocolate factory, which has long been closed to the public. And whenever they do something stupid, they will be bludgeoned with ridiculously on-the-nose poetic justice by Gene Wilder and his delightful singing mutants.
Either that, or it'll be "Survivor: Epstein Island."
As for the show itself, I thought it was a surprisingly good finale for a a pretty damned crappy season. Without our live-posting thread, I probably would not have finished it. I completely lost track of how many times I was surprised that Kim was still in the game. Or Nick. Or, sometimes, early on, Sarah. Or, after they were voted out, Danni and Jeremy.
I thought the show and the viewers had an understanding. We will try to keep track of all these people, and the show will try to help us keep track of all these people, but once these early people get voted out, we are allowed to forget about them and continue trying to keep all the active players straight. But you have to break a few eggs, god damn it!
People bitch and moan about participation trophies as if kids themselves don't still want to kick the other team's ass, yet this season was far, far worse. Not only does nobody, no matter how early they're voted out, actually just get sent to Loser's Lodge, but the jury are actually allowed to screw with the game itself. Not only does every single loser get to have a vote as to who should be winner, but they get to shuffle the cards in favor of whoever they want to, as well. Of course it was the least bitter jury ever. They were allowed to play god.
Hey, Jeff? Wouldn't it be fun if, every once in a while, CBS flips a coin to see if you should still be the host? I mean, who cares what people want to see? Changing it up is always better. Right?
Yadda, yadda, yadda. hated this fucking season. Yet, actually wound up caring about how the finale turned out. Not enough to be mad that Tony won or whatever, but at least I watched three hours without being bored. I'll take it.
However, after three hours of a "Survivor" finale and thirty minutes of "What We Do in the Shadows," when I woke up hungover today after an extremely heavy night of TV-drinking, I had at least half a dozen "wow!" thoughts in my head. And the only one that was about "Survivor" was "What the fuck was that moron Ben thinking?"