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Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"


Message added by Mod-Tigerkatze,

Your Pet Peeves are your Pet Peeves and you're welcome to express them here. However, that does not mean that you can use this topic to go after your fellow posters; being annoyed by something they say or do is not a Pet Peeve.

If there's something you need clarification on, please remember: it's always best to address a fellow poster directly; don't talk about what they said, talk to them. Politely, of course! Everyone is entitled to their opinion and should be treated with respect. (If need be, check out the how to have healthy debates guidelines for more).

While we're happy to grant the leniency that was requested about allowing discussions to go beyond Pet Peeves, please keep in mind that this is still the Pet Peeves topic. Non-pet peeves discussions should be kept brief, be related to a pet peeve and if a fellow poster suggests the discussion may be taken to Chit Chat or otherwise tries to course-correct the topic, we ask that you don't dismiss them. They may have a point.

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(edited)
1 hour ago, peacheslatour said:

I always tip. If the service is exceptional I over tip. I think every single person should have to work in a service job for at least a month. Too many entitled assholes look at service people as less than human.

Amen! I have always said that everyone should have to work in retail for at least two months so they'd learn not to be absolute lazy pigs and mean arseholes when they leave their homes. 

I'm a teacher (have taught in both middle and high schools), but I had my fair share of odd jobs as a teenager and during college.

Retail also prepared me for the "unique personalities" that I may or may not encounter on a daily basis among students (and their parents/guardians).

Edited by Bridget
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(edited)
10 minutes ago, Bridget said:

 

I'm a high school teacher, but I had my fair share of odd jobs as a teenager and during college.

Retail also prepared me for the "unique personalities" that I may or may not encounter on a daily basis among students (and their parents/guardians).

Good for you being a teacher too!  That's a difficult job and requires super people handling skills.

I used to be an editor and rarely encountered members of the public.  Then I became a lawyer in a legal aid type office where new people are constantly calling.  I learned that everybody needs special handling, and there are always new clients on the horizon with new and different quirks.  As well as the people I have to fight on their behalf.   My long ago fast-food experience was useful.  

Edited by GussieK
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2 hours ago, WinnieWinkle said:

Today most radio stations in Canada are having  ‘A Day To Listen’ in the wake of the terrible discoveries at the residential schools here recently

What are the radio stations playing?  Somber music?  Indigenous music?  News?  

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Just now, Mittengirl said:

What are the radio stations playing?  Somber music?  Indigenous music?  News?  

A Day to Listen

I have to say it's been an eye opener for me.  And to keep this on topic, today's pet peeve: how absolutely poorly I was taught Canadian history in school.  I certainly was never taught about anything concerning the Indian Act or residential schools or anything of that nature.  To be fair though we also never seemed to make it out of the 19th century.  If I had stopped learning, listening and reading after grade 11 I wouldn't even have known we fought in two world wars!

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1 minute ago, WinnieWinkle said:

A Day to Listen

I have to say it's been an eye opener for me.  And to keep this on topic, today's pet peeve: how absolutely poorly I was taught Canadian history in school.  I certainly was never taught about anything concerning the Indian Act or residential schools or anything of that nature.  To be fair though we also never seemed to make it out of the 19th century.  If I had stopped learning, listening and reading after grade 11 I wouldn't even have known we fought in two world wars!

I definitely knew about these situations from learning history at school.  Perhaps it depends on the books your school used and the provincial curriculum.  I knew about Japanese internment as well.   That said, I’m not a big fan of all of this cancel culture/rethinking colonization.  My family is from Hong Kong, a former British colony.  It’s been 24 years since its return to Chinese rule and even with the National Security Act and mainland’s influence to Hong Kong, few streets and buildings named after British officials have been changed.  And I’m sure many Hong Kongers would be upset if names WERE changed.  Hong Kong’s culture is ALL about being neither east nor west.  To “decolonize” and become what they were before the British would mean being a fishing village.  Unless you’re a hipster millennial wanting to homestead you’re not going to want to live that lifestyle.  I should also add that we would likely have to cancel most people the early 20th century or prior because of their views on women.  And if it’s Greek, Roman or Chinese, then we’re talking thousands of years.

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(edited)
18 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

My Pet Peeve right now is a cheap tipper. Went to an upscale restaurant last night. The bill was about $375. He handed me the receipt and I just stuck it in my purse. When I got home I looked at it (debating if he would want it or just toss it away). To my shock I saw that he only tipped $30. I called the restaurant, gave them my credit card, and arranged for a more suitable tip to be given to the hardworking young lady who gave us wonderful service. This person is a multimillionaire so the amount would not have broken his bank. Was I wrong? 

Why did he give you the receipt?  That seems kind of weird.  If it was so you could expense it why wouldn't he give a huge tip?  Just a bit confused here.

15 hours ago, WinnieWinkle said:

It almost always is! Anyway unless the server is flat out rude or incompetent I wouldn't even consider undertipping - and even then I'd probably still leave 15% which is the minimum one should tip IMO.

 

If service people such as wait staff were paid a decent wage, tipping wouldn't be an issue.

14 hours ago, Katy M said:

  Not tipping because the server asks if you need change while scooping up the payment folder.   

Being asked if you need change is unprofessional and rude.

 

Edited by Leeds
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3 hours ago, Leeds said:

Being asked if you need change is unprofessional and rude.

It really isn't.  It's time management.  They don't know how much money you put in the envelope. It could be the exact dollar amount. Why should they rush back to take care of your bill if you're all set when they get something for another table instead.  And a simple question hardly negates the need to pay them their tip if they otherwise did a good job.

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3 hours ago, Leeds said:

Why did he give you the receipt?  That seems kind of weird.  If it was so you could expense it why wouldn't he give a huge tip?  Just a bit confused here.

I’m assuming that it’s either so I could hold it for him, or he wanted to make sure that I knew how much he paid for dinner. There is a third possibility. He might expect me to pay for my half. He got no “rewards” from me for going out to dinner. So many men in dating these days expect an after dinner “treat” for taking a woman out someplace nice. I’m not that kind of lady. 

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5 hours ago, Leeds said:

Being asked if you need change is unprofessional and rude.

 

 

2 hours ago, Katy M said:

It really isn't.  It's time management.  They don't know how much money you put in the envelope. It could be the exact dollar amount. Why should they rush back to take care of your bill if you're all set when they get something for another table instead.  And a simple question hardly negates the need to pay them their tip if they otherwise did a good job.

I agree/disagree a bit with both.  I do think "do you need change?" is a bit rude/presumptuous. A much better way to handle it would be to say "I'll be right back with your change" which gives the diner a chance to say either "thanks" or "I'm all set; keep the change".

But I really don't think it rises to the level of a withholding-the-tip offense.  At worst it might make me round down instead of up.

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I’m assuming that it’s either so I could hold it for him, or he wanted to make sure that I knew how much he paid for dinner. There is a third possibility. He might expect me to pay for my half. He got no “rewards” from me for going out to dinner. So many men in dating these days expect an after dinner “treat” for taking a woman out someplace nice. I’m not that kind of lady. 

Insert "nice" tokens in ladybot, out pops sex.

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3 hours ago, SoMuchTV said:

 

I agree/disagree a bit with both.  I do think "do you need change?" is a bit rude/presumptuous. A much better way to handle it would be to say "I'll be right back with your change" which gives the diner a chance to say either "thanks" or "I'm all set; keep the change".

But I really don't think it rises to the level of a withholding-the-tip offense.  At worst it might make me round down instead of up.

Back in my food server days, we just kind of brought the extra back in smaller bills so that no one had to allude to tipping by mentioning change. That said, i didn’t work in fancy places so it was never really a question of change in the form of big bills.

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1 hour ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

I wouldn't say rude, but I agree with unprofessional and would add classless.  I wouldn't use it as an excuse to not tip however.

Is there a difference between classless and rude?

I don't know, I guess I have bigger problems than to get all upset over a simple yes or no question.

There was someone else in that online discussion.  Their bill was $19.95.  They handed the waitress a $20.  She didn't give them their change (and I actually don't remember why or fi they knew why, like if she got busy, how much time they gave her to bring them their change, I know no details, but I do know it was only a nickel), but not only did they not tip her they complained to the manager that she stole from them by not giving them their change.

My pet peeve is anybody getting that petty over literally 5 cents for any reason whatsoever.  Getting someone fired over 5 cents can not make you feel like big person.

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Here's another pet peeve: penny pinchers. I'm not talking frugality. I'm talking literally penny pinching.

Two years ago I got an early morning call from a friend if I wanted to go to the beach that day with her, her boyfriend, and a friend of hers. Sure, I piled in the car and off we went.

When we got home, my friend emailed me asking me to pay 1/4 of the car rental, 1/4 of the uber ride to the car rental, 1/4 of the uber ride from the car rental, 1/4 of some bagels they bought (which I didn't eat because I had my own breakfast), 1/4 of the gas, 1/4 of the parking pass to the beach, and 1/4 of the sunscreen she and her bf bought. She asked me to venmo the exact amount to her. She had a spreadsheet of the amounts. I was shocked. I said "ok I'll just send you ____" and rounded it and she said "No I need the exact amount."

I paid her but when she later messaged me asking me for my hulu password so she and her bf could stream something they wanted to watch I ghosted her. 

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7 minutes ago, Lady Whistleup said:

Here's another pet peeve: penny pinchers. I'm not talking frugality. I'm talking literally penny pinching.

Two years ago I got an early morning call from a friend if I wanted to go to the beach that day with her, her boyfriend, and a friend of hers. Sure, I piled in the car and off we went.

When we got home, my friend emailed me asking me to pay 1/4 of the car rental, 1/4 of the uber ride to the car rental, 1/4 of the uber ride from the car rental, 1/4 of some bagels they bought (which I didn't eat because I had my own breakfast), 1/4 of the gas, 1/4 of the parking pass to the beach, and 1/4 of the sunscreen she and her bf bought. She asked me to venmo the exact amount to her. She had a spreadsheet of the amounts. I was shocked. I said "ok I'll just send you ____" and rounded it and she said "No I need the exact amount."

I paid her but when she later messaged me asking me for my hulu password so she and her bf could stream something they wanted to watch I ghosted her. 

You should give her your Hulu password, then charge her half your fee, plus a password transfer fee of $10 per character.

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8 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

I’m assuming that it’s either so I could hold it for him, or he wanted to make sure that I knew how much he paid for dinner. There is a third possibility. He might expect me to pay for my half. He got no “rewards” from me for going out to dinner. So many men in dating these days expect an after dinner “treat” for taking a woman out someplace nice. I’m not that kind of lady. 

Sounds like there shouldn't be another date with this guy.

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This happened about 25 years ago.  For work reasons I traveled with a large group of people and a few times a week we would go out to dinner together.   My temporary boss liked to collect all the money and put it on his credit card.  (Cash back had just come into existence.)  We gave him our money and I would be sure to tell him the generous amount I was leaving for the tip.  I noticed he did not leave much of a tip so I started just leaving my tip in cash at my place on the table.  Then I  started to stand there until everyone left the table to make sure no one took any of the money.  On top of that he wasn't a very good boss or worker.  This went on for close to a year.

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Our travel policy has outdated tipping guidelines and a "not to exceed" percentage. I always exceed the tipping amount. Boss said something once and I said my entire bill, with tip, was significantly less than the very generous daily max. 

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28 minutes ago, icemiser69 said:

Peeve:

Sound a sleep in the middle of the night using a fan to draw in the cool air, because the daytime air is too damn hot, and am suddenly jolted awake by skunk smell being sucked into the house by the fan.   Then running over to shut the fan off and closing the window, which puts an end to the cooler air entering the house, and then having to wait for that skunk smell that lingers in the house to dissipate before being able to fall back asleep.🦨

Not currently, but for most of my adult years I have also gone through the skunk-windows routine. Only after many years and 🦨🦨🦨 I discovered that it's usually better to just leave the windows open because the odor lingers longer inside than it dissipates outside. But it may be different in your situation.

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11 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

Our travel policy has outdated tipping guidelines and a "not to exceed" percentage. I always exceed the tipping amount. Boss said something once and I said my entire bill, with tip, was significantly less than the very generous daily max. 

We had that same dumb "not to exceed" rule here when I started. 

I'm not entirely sure that the rule wasn't in place because some board of accountants somewhere (or politicians writing tax code) made up rules that said "tips up to this % are a legitimate business expense, and anything over that isn't." 

I've been out of the accounting side of the building for a very long time, but my general experience makes me believe that many dumb rules exist as a reaction to other dumb rules.

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(edited)
1 hour ago, JTMacc99 said:

We had that same dumb "not to exceed" rule here when I started. I'm not entirely sure that the rule wasn't in place because some board of accountants somewhere (or politicians writing tax code) made up rules that said "tips up to this % are a legitimate business expense, and anything over that isn't." 
... but my general experience makes me believe that many dumb rules exist as a reaction to other dumb rules.

Yes. So true.
Also, dumb rules (not just tipping rules) can come into existence because
either

  • some employee was working the system to try to get what they thought they were entitled to and it wound up being illegal and leaving the company open to lawsuits, so TPTB had to demonstrate they took steps to prevent its occurrence in the future

or

  • some customer (especially a customer who was a donor to the institution or in some other way a "respected" member of the community) complained about how they were treated by people answering phones etc., and the VIP needed tangible evidence that it would not happen again

or

  • some Head of Underlings was told by their Head that they needed to demonstrate X number of efficiency measures having been implemented 

or

  • the dumb rules were listed by the note take at a meeting of things to be implemented, especially if the person leading the meeting, or the note taker, or the boss of the note taker were new employees wanting to make their mark and show that they were "going to get things done around here, dammit!"
Edited by shapeshifter
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A peeve:

Since I moved to Rochester NY, when I am dealing with people regarding setting up utilities, vehicle emission inspection, doctor appointments, pharmacies, etc. there is an assumption that my area code of my phone number is the Rochester area code (apparently Rochester is small enough to only have one area code). 
At first I thought this was just quaint, and a little annoying when I would ask for a phone number and not be given an area code.
But now it's Very annoying -- especially when signing in to a small screen and being told to enter my phone number and the area code is hard coded into the device. 
Seriously??????!!!!!!!????
At Walgreens to get a prescription and at the DMV????!!!!????

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(edited)
3 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

Also, dumb rules (not just tipping rules) can come into existence because
either

  • some employee was working the system to try to get what they thought they were entitled to and it wound up being illegal and leaving the company open to lawsuits, so TPTB had to demonstrate they took steps to prevent its occurrence in the future

I can see a circumstance where someone was tipping big with company money in the hopes of securing certain "favors", so... :-/

 

@shapeshifter, where I work, there's only one area code, and nobody would think twice about it. If I was taking down a number and somebody started with the area code, it would actually kind of annoy me. Like, "I KNOW!!!" 😆

Where I live is actually closer to the state line, so it's more common to use it, especially because some people have cell phones from "across the river" and their area code doesn't match where they live. But even then, if somebody has a common prefix, it's not necessary. I probably already know the area code. Small town life. 🤷‍♀️

Eta - I can't imagine a standardized form not having a place for it, though. Weird!

Edited by Jane Tuesday
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2 minutes ago, Jane Tuesday said:

I can see a circumstance where someone was tipping big with company money in the hopes of securing certain "favors", so... :-/

 

@shapeshifter, where I work, there's only one area code, and nobody would think twice about it. If I was taking down a number and somebody started with the area code, it would actually kind of annoy me. Like, "I KNOW!!!" 😆

Where I live is actually closer to the state line, so it's more common to use it, especially because some people have cell phones from "across the river" and their area code doesn't match where they live. But even then, if somebody has a common prefix, it's not necessary. I probably already know the area code. Small town life. 🤷‍♀️

Okay. But if you're giving someone a phone number, especially someone who says they are "new to the area," wouldn't you start with the area code?

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15 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

Okay. But if you're giving someone a phone number, especially someone who says they are "new to the area," wouldn't you start with the area code?

Hmmm, maybe? If I was thinking about it. But it probably wouldn't occur to me one way or the other. A tourist, yes. 

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5 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

At first I thought this was just quaint, and a little annoying when I would ask for a phone number and not be given an area code.
But now it's Very annoying -- especially when signing in to a small screen and being told to enter my phone number and the area code is hard coded into the device. 

Not including the area code when giving you a phone number seems natural to me in a place with only one area code; unless they specify an outside area code, you know it's the local one.

And I guess having the local area code entered as a default is no big deal if most people's numbers use that area code (and the minority with a different one can easily override it), but it does seem a bit odd to do that given how many people use a cell phone number they got someplace else as their primary or only phone (and thus do have a different area code).  Maybe it's not common there?

It used to be annoying when someone would give me their cell phone number with a long-distance area code as their contact info; you want me to incur long distance charges to talk to your ass a few miles away?  No.  What's your home number?  (Back when most people still had one.)  But since AT&T switched my home phone from a traditional line to U-Verse years ago, there's no distinction between local and long distance, so I no longer care.  But I'll still call someone's home phone rather than cell phone if they're good with that, because it's better reception.

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52 minutes ago, Bastet said:

But I'll still call someone's home phone rather than cell phone if they're good with that, because it's better reception.

YES!!! We still have a home phone, & that's the number I give out. I don't really want to talk on my cell, the home phone is the easiest one, with the best reception.

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59 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

The phrase “feeling some type of way” is becoming a real peeve for me. 

Like some new-fangled feeling, or "i'm feeling sad?"  Just curious.

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(edited)

I assume so? Or confusion or stress or melancholy? I have never heard anyone use it to describe a happy feeling, and I think it’s usually in terms of relationships? Where did it come from? Because I hear it frequently lately—and each time is more annoying!

Edited by TattleTeeny
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My pet peeve is that I want to be an aesthetic nurse, but I don't want to take some of the classes. I was always a good student and great as far as reading, learning, memorizing, and taking tests. The labs I'd have to take give me anxiety, and I'm squeamish about dissecting anything. 

 

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5 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

I'm squeamish about dissecting anything. 

They start you small. It’s not like you will be doing a human cadaver your first time out. Lots of people get squeamish, but it’s also a bonding moment between students. There is so much to learn and identify that it no longer becomes what you are dissecting, but more looking for specific things such as a muscle or organ. You get used to it. Please don’t let that stop you from your dream. 

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20 hours ago, Bastet said:

Not including the area code when giving you a phone number seems natural to me in a place with only one area code; unless they specify an outside area code, you know it's the local one.

And I guess having the local area code entered as a default is no big deal if most people's numbers use that area code (and the minority with a different one can easily override it), but it does seem a bit odd to do that given how many people use a cell phone number they got someplace else as their primary or only phone (and thus do have a different area code).  Maybe it's not common there?

It used to be annoying when someone would give me their cell phone number with a long-distance area code as their contact info; you want me to incur long distance charges to talk to your ass a few miles away?  No.  What's your home number?  (Back when most people still had one.)  But since AT&T switched my home phone from a traditional line to U-Verse years ago, there's no distinction between local and long distance, so I no longer care.  But I'll still call someone's home phone rather than cell phone if they're good with that, because it's better reception.

It's definitely a regional thing.  Toronto has had mandatory 10 digit dialling for probably 20 years so it's expected that you tell people if you're 416, 647, 437 (Shouldn't Drake have called us The Four rather than The Six?), or, if you're from the suburbs, 905, 289 or 365.  905 and our OG area code, 416, were splits while the rest are overlays. 

Are there any regions which still have seven digit dialling? 

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5 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

They start you small. It’s not like you will be doing a human cadaver your first time out. Lots of people get squeamish, but it’s also a bonding moment between students. There is so much to learn and identify that it no longer becomes what you are dissecting, but more looking for specific things such as a muscle or organ. You get used to it. Please don’t let that stop you from your dream. 

Thank you for the information and the encouragement! You're sweet. 😀

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17 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

I assume so? Or confusion or stress or melancholy? I have never heard anyone use it to describe a happy feeling, and I think it’s usually in terms of relationships? Where did it come from? Because I hear it frequently lately—and each time is more annoying!

I've been hearing this one for years and it usually means, at best, resentful, and more often,  angry and ready to make trouble.

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On 7/2/2021 at 6:10 AM, icemiser69 said:

Peeve:

Sound a sleep in the middle of the night using a fan to draw in the cool air, because the daytime air is too damn hot, and am suddenly jolted awake by skunk smell being sucked into the house by the fan.   Then running over to shut the fan off and closing the window, which puts an end to the cooler air entering the house, and then having to wait for that skunk smell that lingers in the house to dissipate before being able to fall back asleep.🦨

My HUGE pet peeve (although the skunks can't help it).  almost EVERY night lately.. SKUNK smell.. I have to close the windows and hope for the best a few hours later.  (We have 2 HUGE skunks that SKUNK around here lately)

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I sit in my car with the engine running so I can enjoy the a/c before I have to walk across the blazing hot parking lot.  I may also be looking at my phone, but that is secondary to the cool air.

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31 minutes ago, supposebly said:

Car idling. It's gotten worse since smart phones. Now people sit in their cars even longer staring at their phones while the car is on. Turn it off!

This is really pervasive at the supermarket. Someone sitting in their car, with the engine idling, staring at their phone while their partner or whomever is inside the market shopping (and probably texting for more info on what kind of stuff to buy). Given the price of gas around here and a tiny modicum of environmental awareness you would think they would want to turn the damn car off....but no!

The food pantry at which I work opens at 2 PM and most days we have someone already in the parking lot waiting for groceries (we are still delivering to their cars due to the Covid but that is going to end on August 1st!) at 1:30 PM or thereabouts with their car sitting there idling away. Drives me crazy!

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My pet peeve is Christian Loboutin red bottoms. Women who wear them love to tilt their feet at such an angle so people can see the red bottoms. And it always looks like they're stretching out their ankle, but no, they're just showing off their shoes.

 

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(edited)
7 hours ago, PRgal said:

It's definitely a regional thing.  Toronto has had mandatory 10 digit dialling for probably 20 years so it's expected that you tell people if you're 416, 647, 437. ...

Are there any regions which still have seven digit dialling? 

Seven digits are sufficient if I'm calling a number with the same area code, even if the actual phone is a cell phone in another state. I'm sure that won't last.

Decades ago, when our small state went from one area code to three, there was a one-year grace period during which numbers "worked" with either their old or their new area codes. One day I took a call at work from an out-of-state business rep who needed our fax number. I recited it, using the new area code. She was silent for a beat, then asked, "Your fax machine has a different area code than this number we're talking on?"

"Oh, yeah," I told her. "It's waaaaaayyyy down the hall."

Edited by HissyFit
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The entire state of MT has one area code (406).  So the other day I was talking to the postmaster complaining that again the carrier tossed my package in the ditch at the top of the road...he asked for my phone # and I gave him the 7 digit # and he asked (406)?? Duh.... I guess I shouldn't expect that much of his delivery people...

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8 hours ago, PRgal said:

It's definitely a regional thing.  Toronto has had mandatory 10 digit dialling for probably 20 years so it's expected that you tell people if you're 416, 647, 437 (Shouldn't Drake have called us The Four rather than The Six?), or, if you're from the suburbs, 905, 289 or 365.  905 and our OG area code, 416, were splits while the rest are overlays. 

Are there any regions which still have seven digit dialling? 

I'm in Indiana, and we have just begun rolling out 10-digit dialing.  It becomes mandatory in October of this year.

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