Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

BlackberryJam · December 24, 2020

1 hour ago, supposebly said:

Starbucks has tea too. And cookies. Donate the Walmart card to someone who can use it and give the nuts to the neighbor?

My mom is the queen of inappropriate gifts. This year she sent me a scarf and these wrist warmers that are fashionable in Germany where it gets just a little uncomfortable in the winter. They have no fingers and are the exact opposite of what's needed in the Canadian prairies where I've lived now for 7 years. And always the wrong color. My whole adult life, I've worn warm colors for good reason. No, I get a cold turquoise kind of blue.

Last year, leggings with flower print. Never in my life have I worn anything with flowers on it. At least they are warm.

I love her but she's made bad gifts an artform.

My mom thinks gift cards to grocery stores are valid gift items. She gave my sister $25 gift card to a grocery store for her 50th birthday. My sister is a married mother of three who can easily afford her own groceries. When called on the asshole level of gift, mom replied, "You can buy candles and stuff there too. It's more than just a grocery store."

Our moms should meet.

peacheslatour · December 24, 2020

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"Here we are on our fabulous vacation", "here's our fabulous house after the remodel", "

"Here's our fabulous house after the burglars broke in ransacked it and stole all our stuff. I guess we shouldn't announce when we're going to be out of town for all the world to see."

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Oh my goodness, what a peeve of mine this is too! And some of the people who say this kind of dumb shit seem to do so in order to somehow increase their value to men. I don't even get it. And they also seem to base how "not like other girls" they are by stupid shit like whiskey or burping or not having their nails done and liking sex. Hi, hello--those are far from unique traits from people of any gender. Also, I feel like the ones who say this typically are the drama.

The "cool girl":

“Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.-

- Gillian Flynn

supposebly · December 24, 2020

28 minutes ago, BlackberryJam said:

My mom thinks gift cards to grocery stores are valid gift items

I would prefer that. I have too many scarves. A hat I would never be caught in alive and, as I said, mittens without fingers. Food, I can eat.

Browncoat · December 24, 2020

1 hour ago, BlackberryJam said:

My mom thinks gift cards to grocery stores are valid gift items.

I am A-OK with that! I'm perfectly able to buy my own groceries, too, but I am on a budget, and a little extra helps get some things that I might not buy regularly. A while back, my mother was cleaning out her house, and wrapped all our stuff that we'd left behind and gave it to us for Christmas. There were "real" gifts, too, but we thought it was hilarious. I'd still prefer those to a jar of peanuts.

New peeve: forgetting to put the damn vanilla in the chocolate pie that is now almost done. I think it'll still taste okay, but I can't believe I forgot the vanilla! Too busy melting butter, I suppose. And speaking of butter, I made a last-minute trip to the store yesterday (partly to get the vanilla!), and decided I didn't need more butter. I was wrong. Now it's raining like a big dog, and it's Christmas Eve, and I do not want to try to go get butter.

Edited December 24, 2020 by Browncoat

Calvada · December 24, 2020

I have a friend with a mother who thought her daughter was fat (she is a size 8, eats a primarily vegetarian diet, runs 4 miles each day - healthy in other words) since the mom was a size 2. Of course she stayed that size through a diet of alcohol and cigarettes. She would give my friend gifts of clothing all in size 2 to encourage her to lose weight, because did she know how bad it looked for the mom's friends to see her with this obese daughter? My friend had reached a level of acceptance, knowing that her mom had a lot of problems including alcoholism, and would just shrug it off. It broke my heart. Then there's my co-worker who married a woman who is Jewish, which deeply troubles his extremely Christian aunt. The first year of their marriage, the aunt sent them a ham with a religious card celebrating the birth of Christ. He thanked her, but mentioned to her that his wife doesn't eat ham, and the aunt claimed she didn't know this about Jewish people. The next year and every year after that, a ham shows up. At least the local food bank benefits.

I am always perplexed by the people who give gifts of what they like when they know it's not what you like, but decide your birthday or Christmas is the time to convert you. I have a friend who drinks tea, but she knows I drink coffee. What did she give me several years ago? This huge box of assorted types of tea, so I can try a new type every day for a month, because if I just give it a chance I will come to love tea. I politely thanked her, and then took it to my office and put it in the break room for my co-workers who drink tea, while I enjoy my daily cup of dark roast coffee. Or the people who decide on a gift just because it was on sale. I have a sister in law who does this all the time. All the adults in my family used to exchange names for Christmas, and one year she gave me a sweater which she proudly told me she found at the Goodwill Store. Thank you so much for the used clothing in a color which makes me look like I might have hepatitis and by the way, you do know I'm allergic to wool, right? It's not that money is tight for her (she and my brother make about 6 times what I make) but if it's not secondhand or on the clearance rack, she won't buy it and it doesn't matter if the color/size/etc. is not right, because it was a deal.

To me the joy of gift giving is finding something that aligns with the recipient's interests, with a personal touch. One of my greatest successes was a gift I got for an elderly aunt who loved to do jigsaw puzzles and reminisce about her childhood. I took a picture of the farmhouse where she grew up and had it made into a 1,000 piece puzzle. She loved it!

Sun-Bun · December 24, 2020

47 minutes ago, supposebly said:

I would prefer that. I have too many scarves. A hat I would never be caught in alive and, as I said, mittens without fingers. Food, I can eat

Amen to that! I’m actually RELIEVED when people give me gift cards, especially to the grocery: groceries have wine/beer, so that’s how I usually use mine.
I know some people hate Starbucks/Wal-Mart/other random gift cards, but they’re perfect for regifting; and even if you don’t drink coffee or tea, Starbucks also has good breakfast/lunch food and other assorted beverages there to drink.

I’m admittedly picky about gifts and have been disappointed far more than pleased with the “thoughtful” gifts people try to surprise me with as an adult...my husband included.
Being a teacher, it’s also kinda funny to discuss with other teachers the “gifts” we receive from parents annually(although I don’t really get them anymore).
Note to parents: your kids’ teachers ALL just want gift cards for Christmas gifts and we will sometimes even secretly trade them out between our fellow teachers later.
Please don’t give us mugs, ornaments, candy, scarves, jewelry or baked goods(admittedly, I’ve tossed out baked goods because I didn’t trust the cleanliness of the kitchen in which it was made).

And I know it’s “the thought that counts” and I’m always grateful, but I can’t help it if I often receive gifts as an adult and think to myself that I’d rather have just gotten the money actually spent for said gift.

I’m otherwise easy to buy for because I make sure to tell everyone I like three things for gifts: fancy/bougie candles, gift cards and booze.

bilgistic · December 24, 2020

3 hours ago, Browncoat said:

New day, new peeve. I suppose I should be grateful that these people have given me any sort of gift, but when you've known me for nearly 30 years, you should know I don't drink coffee, or shop at Walmart, or eat any type of nuts. Please do not give me a Starbucks gift card, a Walmart gift card, or a jar of peanuts your church was selling as a fund raiser.

I have no idea what I'm going to do with these things.

I'll happily take your Starbucks gift card! I haven't been in months because 1) I rarely leave the apartment except to get groceries a mile away or prescriptions three miles away and 2) Starbucks is an indulgent treat.

Quof · December 24, 2020

1 hour ago, BlackberryJam said:

My mom thinks gift cards to grocery stores are valid gift items.

A gift card says "I think I know a little bit about you, so I can select a store I think you patronize, but I'm not smart enough to select an item." It also says "Here, you do it." It's a sponsored errand.

At least if they give you the cash, you're not shackled to a specific store.

Although when my mother gives me cash she always asks "What did you buy?" and I think "Well, I just put it in the bank. And I will put it toward my credit card bill (which I always pay in full), so it might have bought the shoes I got last week, or the sweater I'll buy tomorrow..."

Sun-Bun · December 24, 2020

7 minutes ago, Quof said:

A gift card says "I think I know a little bit about you, so I can select a store I think you patronize, but I'm not smart enough to select an item." It also says "Here, you do it." It's a sponsored errand.

But yet to folks like me, the ultimate gift card lover/gifter, it says, “I want you to pick out exactly what YOU want from this place because I don’t trust myself to do it right.”

And I am *so* cool with that.
Better to just let me pick out my own gift versus someone getting me something completely lame and me having to go back to said store and swap it out later(which I often end up doing after every Christmas/birthday).

Gift cards work well for online shopping too!

Cobb Salad · December 24, 2020

2 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

"Here's our fabulous house after the burglars broke in ransacked it and stole all our stuff. I guess we shouldn't announce when we're going to be out of town for all the world to see."

This has happened, IIRC it was a couple in Arizona who talked about their upcoming vacation on Facebook, went on vacation and came home to discover they had been robbed.

SuprSuprElevated · December 24, 2020

5 hours ago, Browncoat said:

New day, new peeve. I suppose I should be grateful that these people have given me any sort of gift, but when you've known me for nearly 30 years, you should know I don't drink coffee, or shop at Walmart, or eat any type of nuts. Please do not give me a Starbucks gift card, a Walmart gift card, or a jar of peanuts your church was selling as a fund raiser.

I have no idea what I'm going to do with these things.

Your local foodbank would love any or all ^.

GaT · December 24, 2020

19 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

At least Aunt Becky's going to jail

Aunt Becky is already in jail & is due to be released on the 28th, only 4 more days to go.

Katy M · December 24, 2020

1 hour ago, Sun-Bun said:

But yet to folks like me, the ultimate gift card lover/gifter, it says, “I want you to pick out exactly what YOU want from this place because I don’t trust myself to do it right.”

And I am *so* cool with that.
Better to just let me pick out my own gift versus someone getting me something completely lame and me having to go back to said store and swap it out later(which I often end up doing after every Christmas/birthday).

Gift cards work well for online shopping too!

I don't have a problem with gift certificates as long as there's a little thought put into them. Like, if you give me a gift certificate to Wal-Mart or Amazon, you might as well just give me cash. So, I'm supposed to give you cash back?

Bastet · December 24, 2020

2 hours ago, Calvada said:

One of my greatest successes was a gift I got for an elderly aunt who loved to do jigsaw puzzles and reminisce about her childhood. I took a picture of the farmhouse where she grew up and had it made into a 1,000 piece puzzle. She loved it!

Ooh, thank you for this idea. My mom occasionally does jigsaw puzzles, and a friend of mine is really big on them. Now I know what they're each getting for their birthdays next year -- jigsaw puzzles made from a picture of their cats!

I think gift cards are a fine gift from someone who doesn't know me well enough to know the types of things I like, and if they happen to choose a store I wouldn't patronize (e.g. Walmart, because, no, I wouldn't even give them a dime of someone else's money), I can just donate it. But I'd find it lazy and impersonal from someone close to me (which has never happened, so I guess we're all on the same wavelength).

peacheslatour · December 24, 2020

19 minutes ago, Bastet said:

Ooh, thank you for this idea. My mom occasionally does jigsaw puzzles, and a friend of mine is really big on them. Now I know what they're each getting for their birthdays next year -- jigsaw puzzles made from a picture of their cats!

I think gift cards are a fine gift from someone who doesn't know me well enough to know the types of things I like, and if they happen to choose a store I wouldn't patronize (e.g. Walmart, because, no, I wouldn't even give them a dime of someone else's money), I can just donate it. But I'd find it lazy and impersonal from someone close to me (which has never happened, so I guess we're all on the same wavelength).

Yeah, I wouldn't want one from say my husband or my parents but more distant relatives, coworkers, young people, especially teenagers really appreciate them.

bilgistic · December 24, 2020

That "face exerciser" ad is back! 😮👄

Calvada · December 24, 2020

41 minutes ago, Bastet said:

Ooh, thank you for this idea. My mom occasionally does jigsaw puzzles, and a friend of mine is really big on them. Now I know what they're each getting for their birthdays next year -- jigsaw puzzles made from a picture of their cats!

I think gift cards are a fine gift from someone who doesn't know me well enough to know the types of things I like, and if they happen to choose a store I wouldn't patronize (e.g. Walmart, because, no, I wouldn't even give them a dime of someone else's money), I can just donate it. But I'd find it lazy and impersonal from someone close to me (which has never happened, so I guess we're all on the same wavelength).

Glad to help!

I think gift cards are great for the people you really don't know, but want to get something - the mail carrier, the cleaning person at the office, the school bus driver, and so on. I also think it's nice when you know the person would like to select their gift, such as a gift card to the bookstore for an avid reader. I used to give my mom a mall gift card for her birthday, then I would take a day off, we would shop and she could pick out what she wanted and know it would fit, and we would have lunch somewhere . . . I miss my mom.

RealHousewife · December 24, 2020

2 hours ago, Katy M said:

I don't have a problem with gift certificates as long as there's a little thought put into them. Like, if you give me a gift certificate to Wal-Mart or Amazon, you might as well just give me cash. So, I'm supposed to give you cash back?

I can see this with friends and such, but my parents request gift cards to both places. lol I appreciate any gift I'm given, but for me the ideal gift card is generally for a place that's somewhat of a treat, but still somewhere you know the gift recipient will go. I often give gift cards to friends to places like Sephora. An Amazon or Walmart gift card is at least very usable even if not exciting. I still have a gift card for a restaurant from years ago. Not sure if it's even active. But it's for a steakhouse that's constantly packed. I'm a vegetarian and hate crowds. I keep meaning to use it to buy sides or desserts because I hate waste.

Edited December 24, 2020 by RealHousewife

Annber03 · December 24, 2020

Yeah, my mom got my aunt and uncle a gift card for a restaurant here in town that they often like to go to :).

Some people aren't easy to shop for, so I agree that in those cases, gift cards can be a good move. I got one for my brother-in-law a few years back to a game store he often likes to get stuff from.

3 hours ago, Calvada said:

One of my greatest successes was a gift I got for an elderly aunt who loved to do jigsaw puzzles and reminisce about her childhood. I took a picture of the farmhouse where she grew up and had it made into a 1,000 piece puzzle. She loved it!

I love this idea :D! That's so cool.

Hangin Out · December 25, 2020

6 hours ago, Calvada said:

Glad to help!

I think gift cards are great for the people you really don't know, but want to get something - the mail carrier, the cleaning person at the office, the school bus driver, and so on. I also think it's nice when you know the person would like to select their gift, such as a gift card to the bookstore for an avid reader. I used to give my mom a mall gift card for her birthday, then I would take a day off, we would shop and she could pick out what she wanted and know it would fit, and we would have lunch somewhere . . . I miss my mom.

That is so sweet. You gave your Mom the greatest gift .. your time. I did the same with mine. Picked her up, went shopping, then lunch. I’m so glad I did now that she’s gone.

hoodooznoodooz · December 25, 2020

Unpopular opinion: I dislike anything except spontaneous gift-giving.

Also, nothing or cash, but nothing is fine.

Gramto6 · December 25, 2020

I live in MT my grands live in CA I visit them once, sometimes twice a year (this year no visits) we email and FaceTime but I really don't know all that they are into. I send them Amazon gift cards for Birthdays and Christmas. DS's daughters are all late teens (one is 21) I can't even begin to know what they would like. DD's kids are toddlers and one is 10, I sent them gifts that she indicated they would like...from Amazon. It is hard when you are so far apart and can't be part of their lives...this year has really sucked on so many levels.

BookWoman56 · December 25, 2020

I’m fine with gift cards, especially from someone like my manager, who knows me primarily as a colleague and only a little as a person. Or as a group gift when it might be difficult to select something appropriate. For example, when my oldest sister died a few years ago, there was no funeral service as she didn’t want one. My manager (at that time) opted to send a gift card from our team rather than send flowers, given that there would be no funeral and she knew I planned to do a project to commemorate my sister in my own way, and could apply the gift card toward that.

Generally I give more personalized gifts to family members that I know well enough to select something they will truly enjoy. But my list of people to whom I will give a gift is fairly short, and my basic feeling is that if I don’t know for sure what they would like, I’m not close enough to give them a gift at all. I am giving the person I manage a gift card, because while I do know some things in general that she likes, such as books, I don’t know enough about her specific tastes in books to know which book would be a good fit.

RealHousewife · December 25, 2020

12 hours ago, supposebly said:

I would prefer that. I have too many scarves. A hat I would never be caught in alive and, as I said, mittens without fingers. Food, I can eat.

I agree with this. I'm a vegetarian who tries to avoid leather, but I've been gifted leather purses, clothing that doesn't flatter my figure, jewelry that's not my style, etc. I appreciate all the gifts because I know most people are doing their best. I feel especially bad when I'm gifted expensive things I don't use though. I detest waste. But you can buy anything and everything at Walmart, Target, Amazon, etc. I'd personally be super happy to get a gift card somewhere that I can definitely find a plethora of items, and not just groceries either. When I do buy someone actual presents, I usually try to find out what they want and/or be sure to include gift receipts. Anyone else feel bad if they're gifted something worth hundreds of dollars (or more) that just sits there? I can feel bad not wearing something someone bought me, but it can feel worse knowing their hard-earned money went to waste.

Also, some people are really difficult to shop for. My mother is one of them. She doesn't like to read, isn't into girly things, finds money spent on most items to be wasteful, sees no point in spending lots of money on greeting cards, etc, etc. She LOVES these basic gift cards though. So I suppose she's easy in a way. 🙂 Now and then she'll let me know when she needs something. I try to buy something so there's a gift to open, and then include a gift card along with the item(s).

In general, I find females much easier to shop for. Friends who are girly like me are the easiest-makeup palettes, bath and body stuff, those Sephora perfume samplers, so much to choose from.

TattleTeeny · December 25, 2020

There are websites that will buy back your gift cards. I learned this a year or two ago at my company Xmas party when I won a raffle and it was a $100 gift card to a fancy-pants steakhouse that was of no use to me because (1) it was nowhere near where I live (had it been, I'd have regifted it to my BF's parents, who love Outback and so would probably dig a fancier version). And (2), vegan.

As far as gift cards as presents, fine with me. As a "boredom shopper," I'll thank you heartily and figure out what to do with it, haha! And as far as giving them, I prefer to find a gift but it's not always possible, whether that's because I am not certain that what I'd pick would work out or--as is the case of my dad who lives in Florida (I'm in Jersey) in a very small home--I don't know what he already has and he doesn't usually want more "stuff."

Edited December 25, 2020 by TattleTeeny

Hangin Out · December 25, 2020

15 hours ago, Gramto6 said:

I live in MT my grands live in CA I visit them once, sometimes twice a year (this year no visits) we email and FaceTime but I really don't know all that they are into. I send them Amazon gift cards for Birthdays and Christmas. DS's daughters are all late teens (one is 21) I can't even begin to know what they would like. DD's kids are toddlers and one is 10, I sent them gifts that she indicated they would like...from Amazon. It is hard when you are so far apart and can't be part of their lives...this year has really sucked on so many levels.

I’m in the same boat. Mine are the same ages as yours. I give them cash and a little something like lip gloss or nail polish. The other side relatives send gifts of pretty sweaters and nice things to wear as they ask my daughter what sizes. I’m wondering what’s best? I figure when the holiday is over they could buy clothes, makeup, cd’s or whatever they want. Is that better or worse? The two youngest are 6 and 9, so I bought them games for their Nintendo. The parents, I buy them pajamas, slippers and flannel shirts and socks. This year we were not together, and yes it sucked. I was heartbroken, the husband too.

Hangin Out · December 25, 2020

4 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

There are websites that will buy back your gift cards. I learned this a year or two ago at my company Xmas party when I won a raffle and it was a $100 gift card to a fancy-pants steakhouse that was of no use to me because (1) it was nowhere near where I live (had it been, I'd have regifted it to my BF's parents, who love Outback and so would probably dig a fancier version). And (2), vegan.

As far as gift cards as presents, fine with me. As a "boredom shopper," I'll thank you heartily and figure out what to do with it, haha! And as far as giving them, I prefer to find a gift but it's not always possible, whether that's because I am not certain that what I'd pick would work out or--as is the case of my dad who lives in Florida (I'm in Jersey) in a very small home--I don't know what he already has and he doesn't usually want more "stuff."

Every year I bought my Father the same thing. An after shave kit and four bottles of blueberry schnapps. He drank three giggers of schnapps a day and lived to 95. Never sick. A strong European. Speaking of Florida, we tried to live there when we retired. New house, beautiful community. I lasted 18 months, then moved back to Long Island. Very homesick for my kids and New York. I’m blabbing a lot, and don’t even drink, hahaha.

Edited December 25, 2020 by Silver Bells

Hangin Out · December 25, 2020

15 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

I agree with this. I'm a vegetarian who tries to avoid leather, but I've been gifted leather purses, clothing that doesn't flatter my figure, jewelry that's not my style, etc. I appreciate all the gifts because I know most people are doing their best. I feel especially bad when I'm gifted expensive things I don't use though. I detest waste. But you can buy anything and everything at Walmart, Target, Amazon, etc. I'd personally be super happy to get a gift card somewhere that I can definitely find a plethora of items, and not just groceries either. When I do buy someone actual presents, I usually try to find out what they want and/or be sure to include gift receipts. Anyone else feel bad if they're gifted something worth hundreds of dollars (or more) that just sits there? I can feel bad not wearing something someone bought me, but it can feel worse knowing their hard-earned money went to waste.

Also, some people are really difficult to shop for. My mother is one of them. She doesn't like to read, isn't into girly things, finds money spent on most items to be wasteful, sees no point in spending lots of money on greeting cards, etc, etc. She LOVES these basic gift cards though. So I suppose she's easy in a way. 🙂 Now and then she'll let me know when she needs something. I try to buy something so there's a gift to open, and then include a gift card along with the item(s).

In general, I find females much easier to shop for. Friends who are girly like me are the easiest-makeup palettes, bath and body stuff, those Sephora perfume samplers, so much to choose from.

A lot of Mothers are pains in the asses. I’m one of them. I tell my kids we don’t want or need anything. We don’t want them to spend money on us. Besides, we have everything we need. Now they give gift cards for like Outback or other restaurants. One daughter bought my husband a jacket. He told her he has five and to take it back and keep the money. They can’t win. I know they mean well. The only thing we like is to see and talk with them here and there. That makes us happy. Lots of parents feel this way.

GaT · December 25, 2020

22 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

A lot of Mothers are pains in the asses. I’m one of them. I tell my kids we don’t want or need anything. We don’t want them to spend money on us. Besides, we have everything we need. Now they give gift cards for like Outback or other restaurants. One daughter bought my husband a jacket. He told her he has five and to take it back and keep the money. They can’t win. I know they mean well. The only thing we like is to see and talk with them here and there. That makes us happy. Lots of parents feel this way.

If they insist on getting you something, tell them to make a donation in your name to your favorite charity.

peacheslatour · December 25, 2020

3 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Every year I bought my Father the same thing. An after shave kit and four bottles of blueberry schnapps. He drank three giggers of schnapps a day and lived to 95. Never sick. A strong European. Speaking of Florida, we tried to live there when we retired. New house, beautiful community. I lasted 18 months, then moved back to Long Island. Very homesick for my kids and New York. I’m blabbing a lot, and don’t even drink, hahaha.

My aunt and uncle moved there from Seattle when they retired. He was sick of the rain here and they had vacationed there so they liked it. They bought a beautiful new house with two swimming pools and several bedrooms. He died after two years and she could never afford to move back because it's so expensive here compared to Florida. She regretted ever moving there. She missed family, friends and all her neighbors.

theredhead77 · December 25, 2020

I love spending time picking out the perfect gift for someone. It's how I channel my creativity. They aren't expensive or elaborate, either. I never expect gifts and I'm never upset by gifts that aren't perfect... except this year when I asked my mom for a pair of slippers, in a specific style and told her my size (large) since these are the slippers I wear all the time. She decided (probably with pressure from my dad) that since size L was too small for her that it must be too small for me. So she got me an XL and was pretty disappointed when I said they were too big so I said I'd wear them with thick socks when it's super cold out. Which I'm doing right now but guess what? Still way too big. But maybe... just maybe.... this will be the year that she finally listens to what I have to say. Which leads me to my personal peeve - feeling like I'm not heard or listened to.

And on the topic of random gifts...

Hangin Out · December 26, 2020

1 hour ago, peacheslatour said:

My aunt and uncle moved there from Seattle when they retired. He was sick of the rain here and they had vacationed there so they liked it. They bought a beautiful new house with two swimming pools and several bedrooms. He died after two years and she could never afford to move back because it's so expensive here compared to Florida. She regretted ever moving there. She missed family, friends and all her neighbors.

Sorry to hear that. You can buy inexpensive in Florida. To come back is another story. We paid big bucks to come back as the prices of homes were sky high, so we bought a condo in a development that has everything Florida has. Golf course, clubhouse, etc. We still drive to Disney tho, as we like to vacation there. Maybe she could move back and rent? Lots of people are in the same predicament and want to move back to family & friends.

peacheslatour · December 26, 2020

21 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

I love spending time picking out the perfect gift for someone. It's how I channel my creativity. They aren't expensive or elaborate, either. I never expect gifts and I'm never upset by gifts that aren't perfect... except this year when I asked my mom for a pair of slippers, in a specific style and told her my size (large) since these are the slippers I wear all the time. She decided (probably with pressure from my dad) that since size L was too small for her that it must be too small for me. So she got me an XL and was pretty disappointed when I said they were too big so I said I'd wear them with thick socks when it's super cold out. Which I'm doing right now but guess what? Still way too big. But maybe... just maybe.... this will be the year that she finally listens to what I have to say. Which leads me to my personal peeve - feeling like I'm not heard or listened to.

And on the topic of random gifts...

OMG! I can't wait to show this to my DH. He got me approximately 450 million scented candles. I like them but still, that's damn funny. Thanks, theredhead!

20 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Sorry to hear that. You can buy inexpensive in Florida. To come back is another story. We paid big bucks to come back as the prices of homes were sky high, so we bought a condo in a development that has everything Florida has. Golf course, clubhouse, etc. We still drive to Disney tho, as we like to vacation there. Maybe she could move back and rent? Lots of people are in the same predicament and want to move back to family & friends.

We wanted her to do just that but she became one with the universe in 2015.

Bastet · December 26, 2020

25 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

OMG! I can't wait to show this to my DH. He got me approximately 450 million scented candles. I like them but still, that's damn funny. Thanks, theredhead!

I have very limited use for taper candles, but pillars, votives, and tealights I use a lot of, so will happily use any given to me unless the color or scent is something I can't stand. But, yeah, I laughed pretty hard at the candle re-gifted around the world, especially because I once got a candle from a coworker and recognized it immediately as one another coworker had given her a few years before. (I don't care if something was re-gifted, bought from a second-hand store, whatever, I just thought it was funny that I remembered its origin when she obviously didn't; it worked out quite nicely, the candle wasn't her style, but it was mine, and the mutual co-worker never knew.)

Edited December 26, 2020 by Bastet

ParadoxLost · December 27, 2020

On 12/25/2020 at 6:52 PM, theredhead77 said:

And on the topic of random gifts...

Candles are not a safe gift. I once took a scented candle out of the plastic and had to flee my house because I couldn't breathe.

If my family or friends tried to pull that I would accuse them of attempted murder.

RealHousewife · December 27, 2020

On 12/25/2020 at 2:56 PM, Silver Bells said:

A lot of Mothers are pains in the asses. I’m one of them. I tell my kids we don’t want or need anything. We don’t want them to spend money on us. Besides, we have everything we need. Now they give gift cards for like Outback or other restaurants. One daughter bought my husband a jacket. He told her he has five and to take it back and keep the money. They can’t win. I know they mean well. The only thing we like is to see and talk with them here and there. That makes us happy. Lots of parents feel this way.

This is exactly my mom. It's sweet that she wants nothing other than to see her kids, but my sister and I still like to do something for her and dad. 🙂

Annber03 · December 27, 2020

My sister and I have been like that with our parents, too :). Yeah. You just want your parents to have nice gifts, too, and it's a good opportunity to thank them for all the stuff they've done for you and whatnot as well.

SuprSuprElevated · December 27, 2020

Our entire family made the decision back when the recession was in full bloom, to refrain from buying gifts for anyone over the age of 18. At the time, there were 5 kids under 18. We never went back to gifting after the economy righted itself. We all realized that we were just as happy getting together for a meal and fellowship. Now we're starting to get a new generation of littles to buy for, which is fun, but I haven't had a moments regret about that decision years ago. Frenetically shopping for "stuff" that no one really needs is officially in my outbox.

Happy new year everyone!

My favorite rendition:

Edited December 27, 2020 by SuprSuprElevated

SuprSuprElevated · December 27, 2020

.

Edited December 27, 2020 by SuprSuprElevated

PRgal · December 27, 2020

2 hours ago, ParadoxLost said:

Candles are not a safe gift. I once took a scented candle out of the plastic and had to flee my house because I couldn't breathe.

If my family or friends tried to pull that I would accuse them of attempted murder.

Yes! I have epilepsy and some essential oils (like eucalyptus) can be a seizure trigger. I avoid things with strong smells other than, say, lavender (which I find soothing), vanilla or coconut. Lemon is okay, as long as it doesn’t smell like a cleaning product. Ew.

I don’t like actual cash as gifts. Unless it’s Chinese New Year where it’s tradition to give cash in envelopes, don’t give me cash. Cheque? Sure. But not actual cash. Especially in large denominations.

BlackberryJam · December 27, 2020

My family....no grocery gift cards from mother this year, but I asked for a solid, durable flashlight for my bedside table. I got yoga pants. Five pair of yoga pants. Now, sure, it's nice to have yoga pants to lounge around in, but I already have almost a dozen pair, and I did not ask for yoga pants. Also, two of the pair are sized Tall. I'm 5'3".

GaT · December 27, 2020

30 minutes ago, PRgal said:

Yes! I have epilepsy and some essential oils (like eucalyptus) can be a seizure trigger.

Essential oils are also toxic to cats.

DrSpaceman73 · December 27, 2020

Essential oils and all smells also trigger migraines in certain people.

Cobb Salad · December 27, 2020

Pet peeve: people you don’t know who follow too close behind when you’re out for a walk. I was outside this morning taking my usual morning walk. I walk at a pretty quick pace and if I encounter someone up ahead of me I usually catch up to them, give them a wide berth and pass them. I try to do it as quickly as possible so I don’t potentially rattle them. Sometimes I do a quick jog around them to get some distance between us after I pass. It’s pretty rare for a walker to pass me. Usually if someone does they’re a runner.

This morning I’m on my walk and I’m getting toward the end of the street, ready to turn the corner to go down the next street. All of a sudden I hear footsteps behind me. I turn the corner and I’m still hearing them. I’m sort of waiting for this person to maybe pass me but no. I don’t know if they came from a side street or if they caught up to me from further down but they’re not passing. By the time I stopped she was almost right next to me, less than 6 feet away. I don’t know if she was going to pass me but I figure if she did it would have turned into one of those things where I would have been closely trailing her. I made a remark about how she’s tailing me and I don’t know who was behind me then I started walking again at my quick pace. I picked it up a little more and I think she might have gotten the hint because by the time I got to the park she was farther behind me. I think I was able to get even more distance from her while walking through the park.

In my book if you’re getting too close, pass the walker, and get some distance. Don’t lurk closely behind them for a while.

Quof · December 27, 2020

On 12/23/2020 at 4:33 AM, Quof said:

The end result - both knees are swollen and bruised, as are both wrists. I have no concern that anything is broken, but damn it hurts.

If I could post photos, y'all would be pretty grossed out. Good thing it's not mini skirt season.

PRgal · December 27, 2020

55 minutes ago, Cobb Salad said:

Pet peeve: people you don’t know who follow too close behind when you’re out for a walk. I was outside this morning taking my usual morning walk. I walk at a pretty quick pace and if I encounter someone up ahead of me I usually catch up to them, give them a wide berth and pass them. I try to do it as quickly as possible so I don’t potentially rattle them. Sometimes I do a quick jog around them to get some distance between us after I pass. It’s pretty rare for a walker to pass me. Usually if someone does they’re a runner.

This morning I’m on my walk and I’m getting toward the end of the street, ready to turn the corner to go down the next street. All of a sudden I hear footsteps behind me. I turn the corner and I’m still hearing them. I’m sort of waiting for this person to maybe pass me but no. I don’t know if they came from a side street or if they caught up to me from further down but they’re not passing. By the time I stopped she was almost right next to me, less than 6 feet away. I don’t know if she was going to pass me but I figure if she did it would have turned into one of those things where I would have been closely trailing her. I made a remark about how she’s tailing me and I don’t know who was behind me then I started walking again at my quick pace. I picked it up a little more and I think she might have gotten the hint because by the time I got to the park she was farther behind me. I think I was able to get even more distance from her while walking through the park.

In my book if you’re getting too close, pass the walker, and get some distance. Don’t lurk closely behind them for a while.

It's kind of hard to stay further away on the sidewalks around here. I have bigger issues with people chitchatting. Seriously, don't do that! Especially in the middle of a pandemic.

Cobb Salad · December 27, 2020

1 minute ago, PRgal said:

It's kind of hard to stay further away on the sidewalks around here. I have bigger issues with people chitchatting. Seriously, don't do that! Especially in the middle of a pandemic.

My neighborhood has the standard width sidewalks (2 people across) plus a wider section of grass alongside the street. Safe enough for me to get around people. My incident this morning happened in one of these areas. In fact I never wear a mask when I’m out walking due to the wide passing areas. However there are some around here who just don’t get it. Yeah, I try not to do too much chitchatting while I’m out walking because I’m not wearing a mask. Thankfully most of the people around here keep a distance if they’re going to say hello.

I guess I’m too stubborn to think people are going to act as I do when outside for a walk.

Katy M · December 27, 2020

1 hour ago, PRgal said:

It's kind of hard to stay further away on the sidewalks around here. I have bigger issues with people chitchatting. Seriously, don't do that! Especially in the middle of a pandemic.

Outside with masks, a few feet apart, chitchat will probably be fine. If you're uncomfortable, you are under no obligation to participate in the chitchat.

isalicat · December 27, 2020

23 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

OMG! I can't wait to show this to my DH. He got me approximately 450 million scented candles. I like them but still, that's damn funny. Thanks, theredhead!

Next birthday or Christmas, turn the tables and get your DH a dude candle or five (dudecandles.com).

peacheslatour · December 27, 2020

3 minutes ago, isalicat said:

Next birthday or Christmas, turn the tables and get your DH a dude candle or five (dudecandles.com).

Lol, I should. Candeo Candles makes manly scents like Campfire Smoke, Pinecone, Genuine Leather and Just Plain Nuts.

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