Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[GeeGolly]

5 minutes ago, Dehumidifier said:

Yes, and it should not be allowed in my opinion. There are other ways to express those opinions without referencing violence.

I hear what you're saying, but IMO its not a violent statement. No one is suggesting Cade should be punched, or even suggesting they're going to punch him. I take as, ew, this guy is so smarmy he gives me a visceral reaction. 

[Scarlett45]

This has been an exhausting and amazing week starting my new job, but guess who’s little sister FINALLY has a disability ID that expires in 2033!!!!

 

MINE!!!!

After MONTHS of going back and forth with the DMV 1. They just forgot to do it, 2. over proof of address- it’s HERE! 10yrs of peace and I will be able to prove she exists. (For long long long time posters you may remember in 2018 I spent 10 months proving to the state that she existed- they said she didn’t exist because she didn’t have a credit score😒), I could not allow her to not have a valid ID. 
 

Who wins the big sister award?? ME!

[Guest]

On 5/5/2022 at 9:32 AM, GeeGolly said:

I thinks its great Primetimer has this new inclusion policy. I just want to double check with you all...

The way I'm interpreting it is, its okay to say, so and so gained weight, but not okay to say, so and so is a fat pig. Kind of like the politics policy - its okay to say, Michelle Obama wrote a book, but not okay to say, I wish Michelle Obama ran for office.

With the inclusion policy we can state facts, but not mean opinions and with the politics policy we can state facts, but not political leanings.

Am I getting these correctly?

Hey, just to answer this really quickly, the politics policy prohibits mentioning political figures unless they are mentioned on a show and only how they were mentioned on a show. So even facts can’t be stated unless it is relevant to a show.

[Nysha]

10 hours ago, HoneyBeach said:

I've always thought Raphael is one of the Archangels. I don't know if it's in the bible though.

 

10 hours ago, Zella said:

That's the tradition, but he is not named anywhere in the Christian Bible. 

I brought this over from Jill & Derick's thread. Raphael is named in the Catholic bible, not the Protestant bible. Both are considered Christian bibles. And most mainstream xtians that I know considered Raphael to be a named Archangel.

Edited May 7, 2022 by Nysha

[Zella]

17 minutes ago, Nysha said:

 

I brought this over from Jill & Derick's thread. Raphael is named in the Catholic bible, not the Protestant bible. Both are considered Christian bibles. And most mainstream xtians that I know considered Raphael to be a named Archangel.

That makes sense and thank you for that explanation. The online references I found when i double checked myself were talking about it in Jewish apocryphal texts, so that was why I kept carefully defining it the way I was. I forgot that the Catholic Bible does have different books, and I didn't mean to imply that it was somehow not a Christian Bible. But I do think my basic point, that Raphael didn't fit Jill and Derick's Biblical naming pattern,  is still true since we obviously know which Bible they'd be basing that decision on. I've revised my posts in the thread to make it more more accurate in that it is not part of the Protestant Bible.

Edited May 7, 2022 by Zella

[floridamom]

I am Roman Catholic and I was taught that there were 3 Archangels...Michael, Gabriel & Raphael. Michael is the head Archangel of the 3. This was a long time ago, (mid 60s) and my parents also agreed with this.

[Mindthinkr]

17 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

This has been an exhausting and amazing week starting my new job, but guess who’s little sister FINALLY has a disability ID that expires in 2033!!!!

 

MINE!!!!

After MONTHS of going back and forth with the DMV 1. They just forgot to do it, 2. over proof of address- it’s HERE! 10yrs of peace and I will be able to prove she exists. (For long long long time posters you may remember in 2018 I spent 10 months proving to the state that she existed- they said she didn’t exist because she didn’t have a credit score😒), I could not allow her to not have a valid ID. 
 

Who wins the big sister award?? ME!

Woo Hoo for you. I hope this brings you some peace and it’s easier to deal with the bureaucracy. 

[LilyD]

11 hours ago, floridamom said:

I am Roman Catholic and I was taught that there were 3 Archangels...Michael, Gabriel & Raphael. Michael is the head Archangel of the 3. This was a long time ago, (mid 60s) and my parents also agreed with this.

Fellow Roman Catholic here and I agree. In our faith, it’s only these three.

It is important to remember that there are a lot of parallels between all Christian faiths, Judaism and even the Islam as we share a lot of the same sources where it all originates from. Religions have more in common than most people think. There are differences of course. The number of Archangels being one of them. As mentioned, the Catholics have three, my friend who is in a protestant church only acknowledges one. Judaism has 7 though the Kaballah makes reference of 12 (I only learned this a few weeks ago when I was tutoring and one of the students needed help with a paper on religious studies!) 

[Scarlett45]

Happy Mother’s Day to all of the Mommies in our Small Talk thread. For the first time EVER, I am taking my Mom out for Mother’s Day (we finally have a caregiver for my sister that isn’t a mother herself, and M’s Mom died a few years ago- she said she was happy to work so we could go out.)

To @lookeyloo and others that have lost children, my heart hurts for you. I keep you in my heart today. 
 

For those that have lost their mothers, grandmothers, great aunts and other maternal figures- I understand your grief and I keep you in my heart today. 
 

For those who did not have type the mother a child deserves and are not able to celebrate that relationship- it’s not your fault, and I keep you in my heart to day. 

For those who long (or did long) to be mothers- I keep you in my heart today.

For those of us with fur children- may we not have to clean fur or vomit today!(I try to keep it light)

 

A card from my Mom from the pets!

[lookeyloo]

2 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

Happy Mother’s Day to all of the Mommies in our Small Talk thread. For the first time EVER, I am taking my Mom out for Mother’s Day (we finally have a caregiver for my sister that isn’t a mother herself, and M’s Mom died a few years ago- she said she was happy to work so we could go out.)

To @lookeyloo and others that have lost children, my heart hurts for you. I keep you in my heart today. 
 

For those that have lost their mothers, grandmothers, great aunts and other maternal figures- I understand you grief and I keep you in my heart today. 
 

For those who did not have type the mother a child deserves and are not able to celebrate that relationship- it’s not your fault, and I keep you in my heart to day. 

For those who long (or did long) to be mothers- I keep you in my heart today.

For those of us with fur children- may we not have to clean fur or vomit today!(I try to keep it light)

 

A card from my Mom from the pets!

Beautifully written. Your fur babies are lucky!! 

[Mindthinkr]

Happy Mother’s Day to everyone. I’m off to spend a rare day with my daughter. 
However you are celebrating (or not) wishing everyone a wonderful day. 💝

[Minivanessa]

@Scarlett45 - thank you. That was indeed beautifully written. It's great that you can celebrate today with your mom!

[Nysha]

@Scarlett45, thank you. I hope you and your mom have a wonderful time today.

[Love2dance]

11 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Happy Mother’s Day to all of the Mommies in our Small Talk thread. For the first time EVER, I am taking my Mom out for Mother’s Day (we finally have a caregiver for my sister that isn’t a mother herself, and M’s Mom died a few years ago- she said she was happy to work so we could go out.)

To @lookeyloo and others that have lost children, my heart hurts for you. I keep you in my heart today. 
 

For those that have lost their mothers, grandmothers, great aunts and other maternal figures- I understand you grief and I keep you in my heart today. 
 

For those who did not have type the mother a child deserves and are not able to celebrate that relationship- it’s not your fault, and I keep you in my heart to day. 

For those who long (or did long) to be mothers- I keep you in my heart today.

For those of us with fur children- may we not have to clean fur or vomit today!(I try to keep it light)

 

A card from my Mom from the pets!

 

11 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Happy Mother’s Day to all of the Mommies in our Small Talk thread. For the first time EVER, I am taking my Mom out for Mother’s Day (we finally have a caregiver for my sister that isn’t a mother herself, and M’s Mom died a few years ago- she said she was happy to work so we could go out.)

To @lookeyloo and others that have lost children, my heart hurts for you. I keep you in my heart today. 
 

For those that have lost their mothers, grandmothers, great aunts and other maternal figures- I understand you grief and I keep you in my heart today. 
 

For those who did not have type the mother a child deserves and are not able to celebrate that relationship- it’s not your fault, and I keep you in my heart to day. 

For those who long (or did long) to be mothers- I keep you in my heart today.

For those of us with fur children- may we not have to clean fur or vomit today!(I try to keep it light)

 

 

Thank you for the beautiful post, Scarlett45. I hope you and your mom had a wonderful time today. 
 

[Love2dance]

11 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Happy Mother’s Day to all of the Mommies in our Small Talk thread. For the first time EVER, I am taking my Mom out for Mother’s Day (we finally have a caregiver for my sister that isn’t a mother herself, and M’s Mom died a few years ago- she said she was happy to work so we could go out.)

To @lookeyloo and others that have lost children, my heart hurts for you. I keep you in my heart today. 
 

For those that have lost their mothers, grandmothers, great aunts and other maternal figures- I understand you grief and I keep you in my heart today. 
 

For those who did not have type the mother a child deserves and are not able to celebrate that relationship- it’s not your fault, and I keep you in my heart to day. 

For those who long (or did long) to be mothers- I keep you in my heart today.

For those of us with fur children- may we not have to clean fur or vomit today!(I try to keep it light)

 

 

Thank you for the beautiful post, Scarlett45. I hope you and your mom had a wonderful time today. 

 

[Scarlett45]

Brought over from the Jinger/Jeremy thread:

 

Regarding graduations on Mothers' Day- that happens quite a bit. (or at least Mothers' Day weekend) My friend just went to her nephew's college graduation which was held on Sunday, and I remember for my college graduation, it was the Saturday before Mothers' Day and my Mom flew out of NOLA on a 5:30am flight to get home to relieve my sister's caregiver. I don't know why they do that!

[Ohiopirate02]

2 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I wonder why they do that. Mother's Day is always the second Sunday in May. Its not like they can't plan around it.

I went to an university where spring graduation is always on Mother's Day weekend.  It's just the way the academic calendar is set.  Both fall and spring semesters are 15 weeks in total and the university needs 11 weeks for summer session.  Many of the schools in NC use August as a reset for the next academic year, so summer session needs to end on July 31st.  I don't have a reason as to why the spring semester always starts on the second Monday in January, but I have to assume there is some reason for it.  I do know summer classes begin next Monday, so they really can't push graduation back a week.  The school needs the current students out of the dorms so they can flip them for summer classes, and a week is barely enough time for them to accomplish this.  They also really do not want a bunch of seniors hanging out in town for a week with nothing to do but drink.  

[Mindthinkr]

Well I don’t think JereMe minded making Mother’s Day all about him because Jinger is a female and they don’t rank high in his wheelhouse. 

[Scarlett45]

4 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I went to an university where spring graduation is always on Mother's Day weekend.  It's just the way the academic calendar is set.  Both fall and spring semesters are 15 weeks in total and the university needs 11 weeks for summer session.  Many of the schools in NC use August as a reset for the next academic year, so summer session needs to end on July 31st.  I don't have a reason as to why the spring semester always starts on the second Monday in January, but I have to assume there is some reason for it.  I do know summer classes begin next Monday, so they really can't push graduation back a week.  The school needs the current students out of the dorms so they can flip them for summer classes, and a week is barely enough time for them to accomplish this.  They also really do not want a bunch of seniors hanging out in town for a week with nothing to do but drink.  

Yes that makes sense, depending on if you are on a trimester, or semester system, and when your fall semester starts, the graduation being the second weekend in May is likely

[GeeGolly]

7 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I went to an university where spring graduation is always on Mother's Day weekend.  It's just the way the academic calendar is set.  Both fall and spring semesters are 15 weeks in total and the university needs 11 weeks for summer session.  Many of the schools in NC use August as a reset for the next academic year, so summer session needs to end on July 31st.  I don't have a reason as to why the spring semester always starts on the second Monday in January, but I have to assume there is some reason for it.  I do know summer classes begin next Monday, so they really can't push graduation back a week.  The school needs the current students out of the dorms so they can flip them for summer classes, and a week is barely enough time for them to accomplish this.  They also really do not want a bunch of seniors hanging out in town for a week with nothing to do but drink.  

1 minute ago, Scarlett45 said:

Yes that makes sense, depending on if you are on a trimester, or semester system, and when your fall semester starts, the graduation being the second weekend in May is likely

Most of the college graduations in my area are mid to late May.

 

[Zella]

COFO graduations are always on Mother's Day, which I personally found ridiculous. It meant not attending graduations for friends I'd like to have seen walk. My grandmother also missed what ended up being the last Mother's Day with her own mom because she had to choose between me graduating and driving out of state. Her mom died later that year. 

Edited May 9, 2022 by Zella

[Ohiopirate02]

32 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

Yes that makes sense, depending on if you are on a trimester, or semester system, and when your fall semester starts, the graduation being the second weekend in May is likely

The school I got my undergrad from has always been very concerned with making sure every student receives the same amount of classroom hours in almost every general education class.  They map out how many Mondays, Tuesday, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays in each semester and make sure they balance.  So, it did not matter which semester you took your general math class or general biology class, we all got the same number of hours of instruction.  Shit, for that general math class we all took the same final exam.  The kicker was we all had different instructors and those instructors did not make the final, the department head did.  

[BradandJanet]

I used to work for a college that moved its graduation ceremonies to Mother's Day, an unpopular policy with both the parents and the faculty and staff, who had to work long hours on a family holiday. I think the reason was the difficulty of finding and renting a large space for a day. There's competition in a town with a lot of colleges looking for venues at pretty much the same time. 

[Mindthinkr]

Sorry to change the subject, but I’m curious to hear how it went @Scarlett45  

Did you enjoy your meal out with your Mom on Mother’s Day? I hope everything went smoothly. 

[Scarlett45]

1 minute ago, Mindthinkr said:

Sorry to change the subject, but I’m curious to hear how it went @Scarlett45  

Did you enjoy your meal out with your Mom on Mother’s Day? I hope everything went smoothly. 

Oh yes, we had an amazing time. We went to a fancy steak/seafood house in Chicago that my Mom used to go to with my grandfather when he was alive, my Mom got lots of attention (which she loves), and I am kinda glad I finally look old enough people stop thinking she is my grandmother! She even got a little keylime pie as a "thanks for coming" gift they gave all the Moms.

M was happy to work (the weekend rate and all) and my sister was chill. After we came home, I changed, took Cosmo out, and drove M home (buses on Sunday schedule) and then we watched Outlander/Pachinko like we normally do on Sundays. She said she was happy.

My Mom is getting old though (duh we all are), out to lunch and the block walk (and back) from the parking garage to the restaurant and she was done for the day. I don't know if we will ever get to go out for Mother's Day again, but we were GOING THIS YEAR!

[Zella]

32 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

Shit, for that general math class we all took the same final exam.  The kicker was we all had different instructors and those instructors did not make the final, the department head did.  

Some English departments do this too! At a community college I attended before transferring, the English instructors all even got together and graded the final English Comp I exam as a group since they all were required to give the same test and grade by the same rubric. 

[Fosca]

33 minutes ago, BradandJanet said:

I used to work for a college that moved its graduation ceremonies to Mother's Day, an unpopular policy with both the parents and the faculty and staff, who had to work long hours on a family holiday. I think the reason was the difficulty of finding and renting a large space for a day. There's competition in a town with a lot of colleges looking for venues at pretty much the same time. 

Mine too, except in my case it was because the town was small enough that there was only one large venue and every school (plus a lot of non-schools) used it.

[GeeGolly]

Most colleges around here hold their ceremonies at the colleges. I didn't realize the New England area did things so differently.

[ginger90]

My youngest daughter’s graduation is Monday May 16th. It’s held at a sports/concert arena. She was invited to speak, but decided to go on a cruise instead. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I didn’t attend mine either. Mine was at the school.

Edited May 9, 2022 by ginger90

[Zella]

20 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Most colleges around here hold their ceremonies at the colleges. I didn't realize the New England area did things so differently.

Honestly I think there can be a lot of variety anywhere. It's interesting to me to read all the different traditions everywhere. All my graduations were at the college/university themselves. I didn't attend the U of A graduation and sometimes I regret it, but it was several months after I'd finished and I'd moved from Fayetteville by then. I didn't want to get up and drive down there at the crack of dawn for it. LOL

Our local school district (which I didn't attend) also hosts their own graduations at their own gyms, but they do try to schedule them on different days, so there aren't conflicts for families with graduates at more than one school. 

Edited May 9, 2022 by Zella

[Mindthinkr]

1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

Oh yes, we had an amazing time

I’m so happy for you both 😊

[BetyBee]

I just noticed that the Primetimer logo changed on my bookmark bar. It now features a "P" and looks very nice!

[ozziemom]

Fellow Small Talkers, I need some help. Awhile back there was a discussion of dresses you order online that you could pick sleeve length, neck line, etc. I need a dress for a wedding this summer, so I looked around but never actually ordered. Now of course I can’t remember or find the website 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️
Does anyone recall this or have any suggestions? Thanks in advance!

[Ohiopirate02]

1 minute ago, ozziemom said:

Fellow Small Talkers, I need some help. Awhile back there was a discussion of dresses you order online that you could pick sleeve length, neck line, etc. I need a dress for a wedding this summer, so I looked around but never actually ordered. Now of course I can’t remember or find the website 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️
Does anyone recall this or have any suggestions? Thanks in advance!

The website is--

https://www.eshakti.com/

[iwantcookies]

I didn’t attend my high school graduation or my second college graduation, I went to my first college graduation and it was held in the school. 
 

I did not attend my third graduation either. 
 

(I graduated from 4 schools counting high school). 
 

I find them LONG and boring. 

Edited May 9, 2022 by iwantcookies

[ozziemom]

23 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

The website is--

https://www.eshakti.com/

Thank you! 

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, ozziemom said:

Fellow Small Talkers, I need some help. Awhile back there was a discussion of dresses you order online that you could pick sleeve length, neck line, etc. I need a dress for a wedding this summer, so I looked around but never actually ordered. Now of course I can’t remember or find the website 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️
Does anyone recall this or have any suggestions? Thanks in advance!

Eshakti

[Rabbittron]

Me and my mom were talking about how they go from 1st kiss to 1st fuck in a matter of hours.  You wouldn't buy a car without a test drive but you are willing to buy a spouse without a test drive. 

[Cinnabon]

1 hour ago, Rabbittron said:

Me and my mom were talking about how they go from 1st kiss to 1st fuck in a matter of hours.  You wouldn't buy a car without a test drive but you are willing to buy a spouse without a test drive. 

It really is kind of mind boggling. I hope at least a few fundie couples don’t feel they have to rush and take a bit more time.

[Iguessnot]

32 minutes ago, Rabbittron said:

Me and my mom were talking about how they go from 1st kiss to 1st fuck in a matter of hours.  You wouldn't buy a car without a test drive but you are willing to buy a spouse without a test drive. 

That example would only apply to people who have no religious prohibitions against fornication. Otherwise, that type of test driving isn't an option depending on one's moral code. 

The thing that always bothered me about the Duggars and their ilk, is their need to act like vapid Disney princesses. 

[lookeyloo]

To my small talk sounding board friends:  As most of you know, I am Jewish and Sweet Son was gay.  I live in the south.  We moved here and I joined a quilting group. Most of the women are really fine.  One of them in particular has a reputation of being most kind and one who seems to live her "Christian" values.  I considered her a good friend.  I will call her Quilter 1

Yesterday at lunch 

 One friend asked Quilter 1 how her granddaughter was enjoying high school.  The expression on Quilter 1's face changed to almost rage in my mind and first she said “I’m probably going to offend someone” and then she said she is very concerned because granddaughter's new friends are all “homosexual, gay and trans and are all suicidal”.  Plus granddaughter doesn’t believe in God anymore but thankfully she is still a Christian.  Turns out granddaughter's biological mother who she doesn’t live with also doesn’t believe in God because she lost I think another child.

A zillion thoughts went through my head and I knew to keep quiet before I blurted out something.  So, sort of shut down.

More conversation and then another quilter said maybe granddaughter is just that caring type who was including these other kids.

Quilter 1 said she “doesn’t approve of their lifestyle”.  More shut down from me.

We all went back to our machines and I pondered what had just happened.  Prior to this I had the utmost respect for Quilter 1 because I believed she was one who lived her Christian values.  I thought she was the kindest person I knew.  I guess on the outside, but inside harbored beliefs that to me aren’t great.

After two other quilters left I felt like I could go to without being that obvious.  So I packed up and said “see y’all next time” and left.  In shock.

Got home and later a friend from the group texted me “Quilter 1 called me on her way home.  She is desperately concerned that she might have offended you while talking about her granddaughter’s high school friends.  “She is the last person I’d want to hurt.””

I said “well she didn’t call me. Disappointed.  I thought better of her.”

Friend then texted “She wanted to know if you would want to talk to her”

I texted “Of course”

Friend texted “I’ll pass it along. She really is quite upset with everything right now.  I’m sure she is shattered that granddaughter announced that she doesn’t believe in God anymore. To add insult to injury, evidently her  daughter-in-law and children spend EVERY holiday with her parents so Quilter 1 and husband  don’t get to celebrate anything (including Mothers Day) on the actual day.”  (As if that makes her beliefs better to me)

Quilter 1 called - she said she is sorry if I was offended.  I said I was more disappointed.  She said I don’t know how I can make this right.  I said it saddens me that this is in your heart.  She tried with well I love the stories about Sweet Son and husband.  I said, well, sure, but you don’t approve of their lifestyle.  I can’t change that about you.  It makes me sad.  I reminded her Jesus loved everyone and some of her beliefs come from man and not from Jesus.  I suggested she do some reading.  I also said maybe she should take a page from other quilter and be thankful her granddaughter has the compassion to reach out to kids who seem to need her friendship, which is godly and what Jesus would do.  And that while her granddaughter says she doesn’t believe in God, she is acting godly which is more important, at least to me.

Quilter 1 said I just can’t get it right, what can I say to make it better.  I said, nothing because of what is in your heart.  No words can help.  I can’t change your beliefs.  She said how can we move past this.  I said, we can just be  polite to each other.  We are grown ups and can do it.

I think she wanted me to say “I accept your apology and all is well”.  Except it isn’t.

I know I am not up to date on all my theology, but, it broke my heart for so many reasons.

I guess I just needed to put it out there.  I feel like that is another loss. I won't be able to look at her the same way.

[Cinnabon]

I don’t even think I could continue being polite to that vile, hateful woman, so you’re a better person than I am. I’ve had it with sickening people like her. I’m so sorry you had to experience that. We don’t choose our sexual orientations and being gay isn’t a “lifestyle.” I would love to give her a piece of my mind.

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, Rabbittron said:

Me and my mom were talking about how they go from 1st kiss to 1st fuck in a matter of hours.  You wouldn't buy a car without a test drive but you are willing to buy a spouse without a test drive. 

This doesn’t bother me so much. If adults don’t want to be physically intimate before engagement or marriage that’s well within their rights to decide. People go from kissing to fucking in a matter of hours when they meet people out dating so it’s not out of the realm of human behavior- sometimes the chemistry is just there. 

 

I have several friends who had arranged marriages and results varied on how fast they moved physically. I say whatever floats your boat as along as both parties are in agreement and someone isn’t being coerced or shamed. 

35 minutes ago, Iguessnot said:

That example would only apply to people who have no religious prohibitions against fornication. Otherwise, that type of test driving isn't an option depending on one's moral code. 

The thing that always bothered me about the Duggars and their ilk, is their need to act like vapid Disney princesses. 

Yes- people should do what they feel is right as a couple, so long as it’s the adult couple, and not the PARENTS or something, it doesn’t seem odd to me. 

[iwantcookies]

Off lookeeyloos situation…

I met and became friends with a lady who is old enough to be my mother. At first she seemed so sweet. We met for lunch, sightseeing etc. we motivated each other to go to the gym. It was a nice friendship and I enjoyed spending time with her.

Then

she told me she wished her grown kids would die. Apparently they do not treat her the way she wants. Her grandson was caught being intimate with another boy. The vile things she said made me sad. 

On top of it all she wants me to convert and move in with her because she has problems paying her rent. Apparently my soul is going to hell unless I convert immediately.

I don’t want to live with someone who is so hateful toward her own family. I am sure I’d be SEVERELY miserable living with her. 
 

Sigh so basically I am no longer in touch with her.

 

I am so sad that she turned out to be so awful. 

(I hope I do not get an infraction for posting this). 

[Scarlett45]

32 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

To my small talk sounding board friends:  As most of you know, I am Jewish and Sweet Son was gay.  I live in the south.  We moved here and I joined a quilting group. Most of the women are really fine.  One of them in particular has a reputation of being most kind and one who seems to live her "Christian" values.  I considered her a good friend.  I will call her Quilter 1

Yesterday at lunch 

 One friend asked Quilter 1 how her granddaughter was enjoying high school.  The expression on Quilter 1's face changed to almost rage in my mind and first she said “I’m probably going to offend someone” and then she said she is very concerned because granddaughter's new friends are all “homosexual, gay and trans and are all suicidal”.  Plus granddaughter doesn’t believe in God anymore but thankfully she is still a Christian.  Turns out granddaughter's biological mother who she doesn’t live with also doesn’t believe in God because she lost I think another child.

A zillion thoughts went through my head and I knew to keep quiet before I blurted out something.  So, sort of shut down.

More conversation and then another quilter said maybe granddaughter is just that caring type who was including these other kids.

Quilter 1 said she “doesn’t approve of their lifestyle”.  More shut down from me.

We all went back to our machines and I pondered what had just happened.  Prior to this I had the utmost respect for Quilter 1 because I believed she was one who lived her Christian values.  I thought she was the kindest person I knew.  I guess on the outside, but inside harbored beliefs that to me aren’t great.

After two other quilters left I felt like I could go to without being that obvious.  So I packed up and said “see y’all next time” and left.  In shock.

Got home and later a friend from the group texted me “Quilter 1 called me on her way home.  She is desperately concerned that she might have offended you while talking about her granddaughter’s high school friends.  “She is the last person I’d want to hurt.””

I said “well she didn’t call me. Disappointed.  I thought better of her.”

Friend then texted “She wanted to know if you would want to talk to her”

I texted “Of course”

Friend texted “I’ll pass it along. She really is quite upset with everything right now.  I’m sure she is shattered that granddaughter announced that she doesn’t believe in God anymore. To add insult to injury, evidently her  daughter-in-law and children spend EVERY holiday with her parents so Quilter 1 and husband  don’t get to celebrate anything (including Mothers Day) on the actual day.”  (As if that makes her beliefs better to me)

Quilter 1 called - she said she is sorry if I was offended.  I said I was more disappointed.  She said I don’t know how I can make this right.  I said it saddens me that this is in your heart.  She tried with well I love the stories about Sweet Son and husband.  I said, well, sure, but you don’t approve of their lifestyle.  I can’t change that about you.  It makes me sad.  I reminded her Jesus loved everyone and some of her beliefs come from man and not from Jesus.  I suggested she do some reading.  I also said maybe she should take a page from other quilter and be thankful her granddaughter has the compassion to reach out to kids who seem to need her friendship, which is godly and what Jesus would do.  And that while her granddaughter says she doesn’t believe in God, she is acting godly which is more important, at least to me.

Quilter 1 said I just can’t get it right, what can I say to make it better.  I said, nothing because of what is in your heart.  No words can help.  I can’t change your beliefs.  She said how can we move past this.  I said, we can just be  polite to each other.  We are grown ups and can do it.

I think she wanted me to say “I accept your apology and all is well”.  Except it isn’t.

I know I am not up to date on all my theology, but, it broke my heart for so many reasons.

I guess I just needed to put it out there.  I feel like that is another loss. I won't be able to look at her the same way.

I am sorry @lookeyloo- while I am not surprised about this woman’s bigoted statements about a group of children, I am so very sorry she hurt you and ruined your Quilting experience. Further more she had no concern for your feelings as a mother (especially one who’s lost a child) that she would say such things aloud in your presence. 
 

But I have to ask- how can someone not believe in God and be a CHRISTIAN? Isn’t the definition of Christianity believing Jesus Christ was the son of god and the savior of human souls via crucifixion?

I am glad though you know where this woman stands and perhaps don’t trust her with your intimate feelings knowing how she is. This would be quite hurtful to anyone and again I am sorry.

 

3 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

Off lookeeyloos situation…

I met and became friends with a lady who is old enough to be my mother. At first she seemed so sweet. We met for lunch, sightseeing etc. we motivated each other to go to the gym. It was a nice friendship and I enjoyed spending time with her.

Then

she told me she wished her grown kids would die. Apparently they do not treat her the way she wants. Her grandson was caught being intimate with another boy. The vile things she said made me sad. 

On top of it all she wants me to convert and move in with her because she has problems paying her rent. Apparently my soul is going to hell unless I convert immediately.

I don’t want to live with someone who is so hateful toward her own family. I am sure I’d be SEVERELY miserable living with her. 
 

Sigh so basically I am no longer in touch with her.

 

I am so sad that she turned out to be so awful. 

(I hope I do not get an infraction for posting this). 

I too am sorry that you were hurt by someone you thought was offering you friendship but had other motives (like a roommate!). Likely she’s such a vile person her kids had to keep their distance for their own well being. 

[iwantcookies]

6 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

I am sorry @lookeyloo- while I am not surprised about this woman’s bigoted statements about a group of children, I am so very sorry she hurt you and ruined your Quilting experience. Further more she had no concern for your feelings as a mother (especially one who’s lost a child) that she would say such things aloud in your presence. 
 

But I have to ask- how can someone not believe in God and be a CHRISTIAN? Isn’t the definition of Christianity believing Jesus Christ was the son of god and the savior of human souls via crucifixion?

I am glad though you know where this woman stands and perhaps don’t trust her with your intimate feelings knowing how she is. This would be quite hurtful to anyone and again I am sorry.

 

I too am sorry that you were hurt by someone you thought was offering you friendship but had other motives (like a roommate!). Likely she’s such a vile person her kids had to keep their distance for their own well being. 

I now know that her kids are keeping their distance for a reason. The kids live far far away! And she complains that church ladies don’t want to be friends with her because she is divorced… um no it’s probably  because her values are vile. 
 

 

[GeeGolly]

Its super hard to lose friends whether its your choice or theirs.

Boundaries and authenticity matter. We lose a little part of ourselves when we bend too far. Usually we know before we know. Maybe we automatically qualified statements or told ourselves we misunderstood, but when we look back, we see it.

I don't necessarily cut folks out of my life, but I won't be quiet when they are out of line.

Good for you @lookeyloo, for not letting her off the hook. And also hugs for you as you work through this.

[BetyBee]

@lookeyloo, that sounds like a really tough situation. I hope you are comfortable enough with the rest of the group to continue with the quilting. I honestly think people should feel the consequences of hateful beliefs. I don't know how else they can come around to see the light and show love rather than hateful judgement of others. 

Yesterday it was my birthday. I hung one more year on the line 🎵 - My first birthday without my big sister 😔 But I felt the love of friends and family and my wonderful husband. Plus it was a gorgeous day here in the Midwest. Every day is a gift! Today our water is turned off and the plumbers are installing a new tankless water heater and a new water softener.  

[Ijustwantsomechips]

Happy belated birthday @BetyBee!

[Mindthinkr]

26 minutes ago, BetyBee said:

Yesterday it was my birthday.

🎉 Happy Belated Birthday 🎉 

I hope all your wishes come true.