Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[MonicaM]

Aw, thanks Mindy.

They left. They are at the airport right now, in fact. No money, no transportation, no food (apparently, no brains), hardly any furniture. (But lots of coffee!). Just a total train wreck. My daughter tells me that they have $3000. Rent is $700.

But when I commented on his FB page how insanely ridiculous this is, I was told that maybe one day I'll hear God speaking as clearly as they do. (I wanted to respond about people that hear voices, but I didn't...). Still praying he gets arrested for peeing in public (or anything, really, I'm not picky). I'd LOVE to hear the voice of God telling me THAT.

 

I think you are hearing a lot more clearly than they are!!  I hope they bought round trip tickets, I suspect their stay will be short.  

[Jenniferbug]

So sorry HFC...I hope they'll be home soon, safe and sound.

[Love2dance]

READALOT...So happy to hear about your MRI good news.

HAPPYFATCHICK ... How completely sad and frustrating that your daughter and the grands left even though they are completely lacking proper funds. Sending comfort to you as you deal with this scary, scary reality while at the same time coping with your mom's needs. Sigh.

Edited September 10, 2015 by Love2dance

[Readalot]

HFC - my tummy is in knots thinking about your situation. I pray there is a positive solution and your family (minus 1) is back safely in your arms sooner than later. HUGS to you.

I have other good news besides my own. My friend whose BC was found via MRI (although Her mammo was clear) last year? She just found out via another MRI she is ALL CLEAR. The cancer is gone!

[Micks Picks]

HFC I know of someone who is into the witchy arts.  Want me to have her pass on a spell?  Not a satanist, that's a whole different deal.

 

My neighbor is going to pick up meds for me and I asked him to also get a couple of banana and 2 kinds of honey, any kind, and some lemon.  He said fine.  He will have a mess of meds to pick up.  He is such a good person.  Has to wait till the wife gets home since he has infant duty and works from home on Wednesday.  Fine.  I am too weak to do it.  Down to 90 lbs again.  He bitches at me that I have to eat and when I feel like this he doesn't understand I can't eat or drink.  Took some vitamins yesterday to please him and spent 45 min. throwing up.  If you can't eat and can't drink, you can't, and until they actually see what happens they don't understand.  Unfortunately this time I can't breathe well either so will get antibiotics and short term steroids and inhalers and stuff.

[Ilovemylabs]

HFC I know of someone who is into the witchy arts.  Want me to have her pass on a spell?  Not a satanist, that's a whole different deal.

 

My neighbor is going to pick up meds for me and I asked him to also get a couple of banana and 2 kinds of honey, any kind, and some lemon.  He said fine.  He will have a mess of meds to pick up.  He is such a good person.  Has to wait till the wife gets home since he has infant duty and works from home on Wednesday.  Fine.  I am too weak to do it.  Down to 90 lbs again.  He bitches at me that I have to eat and when I feel like this he doesn't understand I can't eat or drink.  Took some vitamins yesterday to please him and spent 45 min. throwing up.  If you can't eat and can't drink, you can't, and until they actually see what happens they don't understand.  Unfortunately this time I can't breathe well either so will get antibiotics and short term steroids and inhalers and stuff.

OMG.  Did you know there is a suppository to deal with nausea?  It make sense because if you're vomiting you can't keep down meds.  How do you deal with dehydration?  I'm saying prayers for you, sweetie.

[GeeGolly]

HFC I know of someone who is into the witchy arts.  Want me to have her pass on a spell?  Not a satanist, that's a whole different deal.

 

My neighbor is going to pick up meds for me and I asked him to also get a couple of banana and 2 kinds of honey, any kind, and some lemon.  He said fine.  He will have a mess of meds to pick up.  He is such a good person.  Has to wait till the wife gets home since he has infant duty and works from home on Wednesday.  Fine.  I am too weak to do it.  Down to 90 lbs again.  He bitches at me that I have to eat and when I feel like this he doesn't understand I can't eat or drink.  Took some vitamins yesterday to please him and spent 45 min. throwing up.  If you can't eat and can't drink, you can't, and until they actually see what happens they don't understand.  Unfortunately this time I can't breathe well either so will get antibiotics and short term steroids and inhalers and stuff.

Oh dear MP! Yikes! Maybe you need IV meds. Wishing you wellness soonly!!!!!

[Micks Picks]

Thank you so much.  When this calms down I will slowly be able to start on water again.  I wish they gave sub cue fluids you have at home.  That would help.  I've given them to peoples cats and to a dog or 2 of mine.  Sub cue so you don't have to find a vein.  I don't want to go in and lay in bed having nothing by mouth but only ivs and blood.  Sucks.

[zenme]

They left. They are at the airport right now, in fact. No money, no transportation, no food (apparently, no brains), hardly any furniture. (But lots of coffee!). Just a total train wreck. My daughter tells me that they have $3000. Rent is $700.

But when I commented on his FB page how insanely ridiculous this is, I was told that maybe one day I'll hear God speaking as clearly as they do. (I wanted to respond about people that hear voices, but I didn't...). Still praying he gets arrested for peeing in public (or anything, really, I'm not picky). I'd LOVE to hear the voice of God telling me THAT.

I've cried until my eyes look like a bullfrog, I have a headache and feel like I might throw up. I'll be down for awhile - our sitter is OOT this weekend and I have to stay at Mamas. (Because life just gets better, right?). Be well, everybody, and keep the honey running

 

Well, HappyFC, I guess it happened... I know you're sad.  You did all you could do.  Nothing left to do but find out what God has in store.  Trust in that. Big hug to you, and hoping each day gets easier until they come home--and they will. 

[Mindymoo]

OMG.  Did you know there is a suppository to deal with nausea?  It make sense because if you're vomiting you can't keep down meds.  How do you deal with dehydration?  I'm saying prayers for you, sweetie.

It's called Phenergan, and it's by prescription only. I take it because of my gastroparesis. (Most of my gut is paralyzed, and I throw up most of what I eat.) Sadly, it doesn't work well for me any longer since I've been on it so long, but if they give it to me via IV, I'm good to go. When it did work, that stuff was a godsend.

 

Also, could you guys send some prayers/vibes/whatever for my great Aunt Dolly? You know I'm an atheist with Buddhist leanings, but I am willing to take anything here. She's 92, her dementia is worsening, and after breaking her hip the third time, they aren't doing surgery and she won't walk again. I saw her the other day with my mom, Busia and Aunt Paulette, thinking that seeing me, my mom and Busia together would possibly help her figure out who we were. Well, she thought I was my mom as a young girl, didn't know who my mom or Busia were, and thought Aunt Paulette was her mother. With that, she obviously thinks her parents are alive. :-( We spent a couple hours with her, and at the end when we were leaving, there seemed to be a moment of clarity. (Or maybe we're just hoping it was.) She gathered me, Mom and Busia around her bed, hugged and kissed us and held our hands, and told us she loved us. Her eyes even lit up! Then she did the same for Aunt Paulette. (That's her sister.) So we left, and then sobbed outside of the home she's staying in for a good ten minutes. I'm so worried about her, and don't want her in pain and suffering, and truly hate that her sharp, funny mind has gone to mush. Her sister, my Aunt Gerri, just died in March, and while she was with it mentally, she had leukemia and they were just giving her palliative care because treating it would kill her faster. If you could keep my Aunt Dolly in your thoughts, I'd be eternally grateful to you lovely people. I hate saying it because she's still here, but I miss her already because it's like she's not really here.

Edited September 10, 2015 by Mindy McIndy

[GeeGolly]

Warm & fuzzies for Aunt Dolly and you too, MM.

[emma675]

Mindy McIndy, my grandmother had Alzheimer's so I know what you're going through. It's like you lose them twice, once when their minds go and then again when their bodies finally let go. It just sucks.

 

Micks Picks, hang in there, girl. Do you have someone to check in on you regularly, just in case? Check in with us here, too, so we can keep up with you.

 

HFC, no words. I hope they're home safe and soon. Maybe this will turn out to be a good thing? You said your daughter has grown up always surrounded by and bailed out by family, right? Maybe now that there is absolutely no safety net, she'll start seeing the light about her no good husband.

[Wellfleet]

So sorry HFC...I hope they'll be home soon, safe and sound.

 

I think they'll be home soon too, Happy. I have the feeling it won't take very long for your genius SIL to start missing the heathen comforts of the good old USA. In no time at all he'll conjure up a whole NEW Grand Dream for the family. Right now he really has absolutely zero concept of what he's facing down there. But he will, very soon. May the Force be with you until then, when you can happily collapse with joy... ❤️

[bigskygirl]

{{{HUGS}}} for everyone and their families who are having a hard time of it lately.

 

And a big shout out to the law enforcement personnel who caught the homicide suspect north of Helena tonight. Way to go!!! We have the best police department, sheriff deputies, and other law enforcement agencies/departments in the country. So proud!!! My heart goes out to the victim and his family and friends. May they find peace while dealing with their loss.

[mbutterfly]

Mindy McIndy, my grandmother had Alzheimer's so I know what you're going through. It's like you lose them twice, once when their minds go and then again when their bodies finally let go. It just sucks.

 

Micks Picks, hang in there, girl. Do you have someone to check in on you regularly, just in case? Check in with us here, too, so we can keep up with you.

 

HFC, no words. I hope they're home safe and soon. Maybe this will turn out to be a good thing? You said your daughter has grown up always surrounded by and bailed out by family, right? Maybe now that there is absolutely no safety net, she'll start seeing the light about her no good husband.

My grandma was the most brilliant person, a teacher who could still read classic Greek into her 90s. Then mid-90s she got dementia. What is making me sad now is one of my daughters told me she just remembered Grandma as someone with dementia. It was actually a short time compared to some, but my daughter was only 6 when she died, so I understand. I just hadn't realized they didn't know the same Grandma I knew. 

[Mindymoo]

My grandma was the most brilliant person, a teacher who could still read classic Greek into her 90s. Then mid-90s she got dementia. What is making me sad now is one of my daughters told me she just remembered Grandma as someone with dementia. It was actually a short time compared to some, but my daughter was only 6 when she died, so I understand. I just hadn't realized they didn't know the same Grandma I knew. 

That's so sad. Your grandma sounds awesome. My Aunt Dolly is my mom's godmother, and she always loved me and my brothers to pieces. She'd take me shopping but was an awful driver. She'd stop while going 45mph for no reason whatsoever, and throw her hand across my chest so I wouldn't fly out of my seat, as though we didn't have seat belts. She always said that's the reason I was pretty flat-chested- she just beat the breast tissue to submission while we were driving. It's especially sad because my Busia is ten years younger than her, lives on her own, still drives, and is very independent. Is this what Busia has to look forward to? While Aunt Dolly is actually a cousin (Busia's mom didn't want kids and was forced into getting married and having a kid, so she always left Busia with her sister's kids while she worked at Jeep and they were raised as sisters) I fear that she may end up that way. My Aunt Betty, Aunt Dolly's slightly younger sister, already has horrible dementia. It's hard enough seeing the two of them like that, and on top of losing my Aunt Gerri this year... I don't think I could handle it if Busia ended up with dementia/Alzheimer's. She's my best friend and my rock. She's an inspiration to me, the first person I told I was gay (she wanted to throw me a coming out party, oh Busia) and she is the most amazing person I've ever known. It's so hard to see the older generation deteriorate. I remember when my great great Aunt Lulu died when I was six and I was crushed by that, but Busia has been here for me my whole life, and she's the only one that really truly gets me and believes in me. She is also the strongest woman I've ever known. I just want her to live forever, I guess.

[mbutterfly]

That's so sad. Your grandma sounds awesome. My Aunt Dolly is my mom's godmother, and she always loved me and my brothers to pieces. She'd take me shopping but was an awful driver. She'd stop while going 45mph for no reason whatsoever, and throw her hand across my chest so I wouldn't fly out of my seat, as though we didn't have seat belts. She always said that's the reason I was pretty flat-chested- she just beat the breast tissue to submission while we were driving. It's especially sad because my Busia is ten years younger than her, lives on her own, still drives, and is very independent. Is this what Busia has to look forward to? While Aunt Dolly is actually a cousin (Busia's mom didn't want kids and was forced into getting married and having a kid, so she always left Busia with her sister's kids while she worked at Jeep and they were raised as sisters) I fear that she may end up that way. My Aunt Betty, Aunt Dolly's slightly younger sister, already has horrible dementia. It's hard enough seeing the two of them like that, and on top of losing my Aunt Gerri this year... I don't think I could handle it if Busia ended up with dementia/Alzheimer's. She's my best friend and my rock. She's an inspiration to me, the first person I told I was gay (she wanted to throw me a coming out party, oh Busia) and she is the most amazing person I've ever known. It's so hard to see the older generation deteriorate. I remember when my great great Aunt Lulu died when I was six and I was crushed by that, but Busia has been here for me my whole life, and she's the only one that really truly gets me and believes in me. She is also the strongest woman I've ever known. I just want her to live forever, I guess.

Busia sounds so lovely. I'm at an age where people about half a generation older are at the age much dementia begins. Other than Grandma, I've been fairly removed from it, but I fear there will be more and more people a bit older than I and then people my own age. It will be difficult. I just hope and pray that some of the new discoveries can stop or slow the process significantly. 

[Jynnan tonnix]

I confess... I've worn a black, sparkly dress to a wedding. It was held in the evening at a swanky hotel. I didn't know it was a fashion faux pas. Now I feel bad.

I've hardly been to any weddings since my own (30 years ago), so, to be honest, I don't pay that much attention to the protocol. I also wore a sparkly, black-ish (I suppose it was technically more of a dark charcoal) to one wedding I was at last year. I did get a number of compliments on it, though, so I guess it was OK. Previous to that, I guess was a wedding in Hawaiii about 10 years ago, and that was "Aloha attire". I suppose now that it's been mentioned, I might recall hearing that rule somewhere along the line, but since neither white nor anything too severely black have ever been among my more flattering colors I just never much worried about it.

[Ilovemylabs]

It's called Phenergan, and it's by prescription only. I take it because of my gastroparesis. (Most of my gut is paralyzed, and I throw up most of what I eat.) Sadly, it doesn't work well for me any longer since I've been on it so long, but if they give it to me via IV, I'm good to go. When it did work, that stuff was a godsend.

 

Also, could you guys send some prayers/vibes/whatever for my great Aunt Dolly? You know I'm an atheist with Buddhist leanings, but I am willing to take anything here. She's 92, her dementia is worsening, and after breaking her hip the third time, they aren't doing surgery and she won't walk again. I saw her the other day with my mom, Busia and Aunt Paulette, thinking that seeing me, my mom and Busia together would possibly help her figure out who we were. Well, she thought I was my mom as a young girl, didn't know who my mom or Busia were, and thought Aunt Paulette was her mother. With that, she obviously thinks her parents are alive. :-( We spent a couple hours with her, and at the end when we were leaving, there seemed to be a moment of clarity. (Or maybe we're just hoping it was.) She gathered me, Mom and Busia around her bed, hugged and kissed us and held our hands, and told us she loved us. Her eyes even lit up! Then she did the same for Aunt Paulette. (That's her sister.) So we left, and then sobbed outside of the home she's staying in for a good ten minutes. I'm so worried about her, and don't want her in pain and suffering, and truly hate that her sharp, funny mind has gone to mush. Her sister, my Aunt Gerri, just died in March, and while she was with it mentally, she had leukemia and they were just giving her palliative care because treating it would kill her faster. If you could keep my Aunt Dolly in your thoughts, I'd be eternally grateful to you lovely people. I hate saying it because she's still here, but I miss her already because it's like she's not really here.

Consider it done.  Blessings to your family.

[Ilovemylabs]

Rats!  They took 19 kids and counting off the first page of forums.  Now I have to click on 'numbers' and scroll down to find you guys.  I'm sure this is one of the most active forums.

[Mindymoo]

Busia sounds so lovely. I'm at an age where people about half a generation older are at the age much dementia begins. Other than Grandma, I've been fairly removed from it, but I fear there will be more and more people a bit older than I and then people my own age. It will be difficult. I just hope and pray that some of the new discoveries can stop or slow the process significantly. 

She really is the best. And if you met her, regardless of your age, you'd call her Busia. She's the loveliest and most loving person that has ever existed on this planet. When a couple of family members tried to give me crap for being gay, she shut that down immediately. When they continued when I wasn't around, she limited her contact with them. She's actively helping us plan the wedding, and wants to have a dance with me and with my betrothed at the reception, and she's just such an awesome, loving lady. I even found out about the Supreme Court's decision from her, because she called me and woke me up as soon as the news was announced. She said she'd drive us down to the courthouse if we wanted to do it that day, but she'd really rather have a big wedding for us. If everyone had a Busia like mine, the world would be a better place.

[magpye29]

Sending prayers and positive thoughts to those of you who asked for them (and some who didn't).  I'm one of those heathen Catholics, though (cafeteria Catholic, to be honest), but I truly believe in the power of prayer and positive energy.

[Absolom]

To easily find shows subscribe to them and then click on my shows. 

[Micks Picks]

Mindy and others I had my great neighbor get me some bananas * (I asked for 2 he brought back 10) and some honey and lemon and lime.  My grandma who was a first generation American of Polish parents always gave me stuff with something and honey, guess I'll try tea as I can't drink booze.  She also used to put something horrible stinky inside my jambes that stuck to the high heavens but I'd be better in the morning.  BTW, I could only eat one banana today and it settled in the stomach for hours.  Nobody believes this stuff.

Re: the dementia, beware of statistics and diagnoses.  I was a statistician and couldn't tolerate the crap that came out.  Depends on who is giving out funding and what social goals are in mind as to what diagnoses you are likely to get.  Everybody, but everybody has head trauma that eventually shows up.  Many of us have PTSD that causes great memory lapses.  I do.  Lost my mom, look care of husband for a few year of extremely stressful circumstances, lost him, lost my dear dogs, has major surgery, was treated badly, very badly by only living relative, got pneumonia, and house burned down.  Everything is now a blur.  Can't help it.  Need the dog I have left to be formally classed as service dog.  You could look at some of my behavior as demented, like can't do paperwork, and god knows I have plenty to do, what with the fire losses etc, and a property I have to dump, but health doesn't allow me to do it  Yet I can focus on other things and engage in repartee as if nothing is wrong.  So don't look for symptoms, just accept as they are.  Enjoy them.  A diagnosis may be automatic and not based on what is the whole person.

Love you guys.  Really.

[Absolom]

On the flip side there is very, very real dementia.  Our family had a psychologist dismiss half my mother's symptoms as stress when they were actually dementia related.  That left my mother driving when she shouldn't have been and she almost killed four children because I couldn't legally get her license pulled when it was obvious to me and many others (even her gardener) that she was too far progressed to be behind the wheel.  I'm sure it's difficult for many people to find the balance or get the right answers. 

[galax-arena]

Last night I had a dream that two of the posters here met and one fell in love with the other, but it wasn't reciprocated and so there was a lot of drama involved (plus some minor stalking). I think this is a clear sign that I've been spending wayyyyyy too much time on the forums.

 

And while I remember the usernames involved, they shall remain nameless lmao.

[GeeGolly]

Last night I had a dream that two of the posters here met and one fell in love with the other, but it wasn't reciprocated and so there was a lot of drama involved (plus some minor stalking). I think this is a clear sign that I've been spending wayyyyyy too much time on the forums.

 

And while I remember the usernames involved, they shall remain nameless lmao.

Too funny. And you can't start a story and not finish. Who are they? :)

[JenCarroll]

MOVED FROM ANOTHER THREAD

You'd be horrified to find out how many "normal" kids can't do these basic things. When my daughter left for college a couple years ago she called us to tell us she had to teach a bunch of girls on her floor how to do laundry. Many had never done it before. My kids have been doing laundry since they were 11 or so.

I guess I kind of did know that, but I keep hoping people will get a damn clue. When DD1 went off to boarding school, she spent so much time helping other kids work the washers that she started charging for it. (This happened after one of her floor-mates told her she'd tried to learn over the summer, but the maid just hadn't found time to teach her.) But those were 14-year olds, and by and large quite wealthy 14-year olds. I was sort of hoping it wasn't that widespread.

Bonus story: When I was in college 30 years ago, most of the boys had never been inside a grocery store in their lives. One boy came back from the store really dejected because he couldn't find the toast aisle. I've never be been sure if he was having us on or not.

Edited September 10, 2015 by JenCarroll

[Ilovemylabs]

Yep. That's what I do. Actually you "follow" the show. Just be sure to go to the main page for 19K&C and click the "follow" button there*. That will pop up a little box with an option to be notified of new posts or something. I always leave that unchecked, and click to confirm. (If you check the box, you'll be notified of new posts, but I really don't need or want that, especially in a busy forum like this one. If you leave it un-checked and confirm, then you are indeed following the show forum. The first time or two I found it a little confusing.)

 

I always go to "My Shows" when I get to PTV, and I'm only looking at the shortish list of shows I follow. I can tell immediately which have new posts. Very convenient.

 

*If you click the "follow" link at the top of this page, you'll just be following this topic, not the whole 19K&C show forum. Not that there's anything wrong with following this topic, but you probably want to follow the main 19K&C forum. 

Thank you!  I figured it out.

[GeeGolly]

It's widespread. I came home from work some years back, to find my 16 year old daughter, changing her 18 year old boyfriend's flat tire. He was absolutely clueless.

[amitville]

Aw, thanks Mindy.

They left. They are at the airport right now, in fact. No money, no transportation, no food (apparently, no brains), hardly any furniture. (But lots of coffee!). Just a total train wreck. My daughter tells me that they have $3000. Rent is $700.

But when I commented on his FB page how insanely ridiculous this is, I was told that maybe one day I'll hear God speaking as clearly as they do. (I wanted to respond about people that hear voices, but I didn't...). Still praying he gets arrested for peeing in public (or anything, really, I'm not picky). I'd LOVE to hear the voice of God telling me THAT.

I've cried until my eyes look like a bullfrog, I have a headache and feel like I might throw up. I'll be down for awhile - our sitter is OOT this weekend and I have to stay at Mamas. (Because life just gets better, right?). Be well, everybody, and keep the honey running!

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[3girlsforus]

Aw, thanks Mindy.

They left. They are at the airport right now, in fact. No money, no transportation, no food (apparently, no brains), hardly any furniture. (But lots of coffee!). Just a total train wreck. My daughter tells me that they have $3000. Rent is $700.

But when I commented on his FB page how insanely ridiculous this is, I was told that maybe one day I'll hear God speaking as clearly as they do. (I wanted to respond about people that hear voices, but I didn't...). Still praying he gets arrested for peeing in public (or anything, really, I'm not picky). I'd LOVE to hear the voice of God telling me THAT.

I've cried until my eyes look like a bullfrog, I have a headache and feel like I might throw up. I'll be down for awhile - our sitter is OOT this weekend and I have to stay at Mamas. (Because life just gets better, right?). Be well, everybody, and keep the honey running!

 

I am so sorry. I wish I knew what to say. ((((HUGS))). It really sucks when all we can do as mom is cry while our kids do something stupid. 

[GeeGolly]

Well the flu is still whipping my ass. Was hoping to go to work today, but still don't feel all that well. On the bright side I feel better than I felt over the long weekend.

[Catlyn]

 

HFC I know of someone who is into the witchy arts.  Want me to have her pass on a spell?  Not a satanist, that's a whole different deal.

I'd watch that. My niece-in law offered to smudge a friend's house because her mother-in-law was going to move in. After my niece left, the house had a fire. Good news: the mother-in-law didn't move in! LOL!

 

Hugs, prayers and good thoughts heading out to all who need them. It's been a rough year, people. Hopefully, next year will be better for all.

[galax-arena]

Too funny. And you can't start a story and not finish. Who are they? :)

I lied and only remember one of the usernames. It's not you, so you don't have to worry that my subconscious apparently thinks you're some sort of lovesick stalker. ;)

 

I guess I kind of did know that, but I keep hoping people will get a damn clue. When DD1 went off to boarding school, she spent so much time helping other kids work the washers that she started charging for it. (This happened after one of her floor-mates told her she'd tried to learn over the summer, but the maid just hadn't found time to teach her.) But those were 14-year olds, and by and large quite wealthy 14-year olds. I was sort of hoping it wasn't that widespread.

Bonus story: When I was in college 30 years ago, most of the boys had never been inside a grocery store in their lives. One boy came back from the store really dejected because he couldn't find the toast aisle. I've never be been sure if he was having us on or not.

I admittedly never did laundry until I went to college. But man, it's not rocket science. I think I'm less concerned that kids go off to college without having learned to do laundry than the fact that so many of them apparently seem to lack the ability/resources to figure it out on their own. There are directions on the washing machines. There's the Internet to give you tips about separating whites from colors or what cycles to use. What more do you need? Why do you need your hand held that much??

[JenCarroll]

Well yeah, I mean DD1 had never used a coin-operated washer before, and yet somehow she was able to work out that you had to put the coins in the slots with the pictures of coins on them, then push in where it said, "Push." But she's a genius. ;-)

Edited September 10, 2015 by JenCarroll

[Lemur]

I admittedly never did laundry until I went to college. But man, it's not rocket science. I think I'm less concerned that kids go off to college without having learned to do laundry than the fact that so many of them apparently seem to lack the ability/resources to figure it out on their own. There are directions on the washing machines. There's the Internet to give you tips about separating whites from colors or what cycles to use. What more do you need? Why do you need your hand held that much??

 

When I was in college lo those 15 years ago, I worked at the community center for our on-campus townhouses for my last two years and spent a good bit of time teaching football players how to do laundry.  Most of them were never taught and some of them were not only never taught but got away with not doing for so long because their girlfriends did it for them.  That said, it's easier now than ever before, what with the pods you just toss into the washer.  

 

My other favorite "kids today" story is from when I was working at the Registrar's Office of a law school about ten years ago (Holy Christ, when did I get old?), and we had a bunch of kids (usually male) who didn't know their Social Security Numbers and would have to call home to Mommy every time they needed something from the Registrar.  I expect that sort of thing out of a fifteen year old, who hasn't been ingrained yet with the need to have that number memorized, not a 22+ year old.  

[Lemur]

Look, even *I* know you don't wear white to someone else's wedding, and I make it a point of ignoring most social cues and expectations.  Hell, I own two dresses expressly for going to weddings.  One is floral (for daytime weddings) and the other is black (for nighttime weddings).  

[Absolom]

My daughter did a little bit of instruction on washers and dryers, but most of her teaching other students was how to cook and how to shop with a budget in mind. 

[smlait]

I admittedly never did laundry until I went to college. But man, it's not rocket science. I think I'm less concerned that kids go off to college without having learned to do laundry than the fact that so many of them apparently seem to lack the ability/resources to figure it out on their own. There are directions on the washing machines. There's the Internet to give you tips about separating whites from colors or what cycles to use. What more do you need? Why do you need your hand held that much??

 

This.  I "learned" how to do laundry in the laundry room in residence by reading the instructions.  I already knew about lights vs. darks so it really wasn't that hard.  It just wan't on my to-do list when I was living with my parents (too busy cooking for the family, vacuuming, ironing, doing homework, etc.) - and it was much more efficient for one of my parents to do everyone's laundry together than have us each do mini-loads.

[galax-arena]

It reminds me of the discussion we had a little while back when Josh's Ashley Madison scandal first broke. Several of us were talking about the various OKCupid match questions that Josh answered. One of the questions was what the "where" in "wherefore art thou Romeo" meant. I said how I didn't care if someone was all that familiar with Shakespeare's English, but that in this age of the Internet, there's really no good excuse for getting that answer wrong. You're either overly confident and that's not attractive at all - being confident is good; being overly confident to the point where you overestimate your competence/knowledge is not - or you don't know how to find the answer, which is just sad.

 

I won't judge you if you never learned how to do laundry or never studied Shakespeare, but I will totally judge you if you can't figure out where to go from there.

Edited September 10, 2015 by galax-arena

[Muffyn]

When I went away to college 35 years ago, I instructed many people on how to do laundry in the coin operated machines.  So many people asked for my help that I finally posted a notice of when I would be available to help.  Many of the people brought me thank you gifts, mainly snacks.  Others gave me laundry quarters (more precious than gold).  So I don't put these things down to kids these days.  It really comes down to a matter of experience.  I had lived on my own and, prior to then, we were renters who went to a laundromat.  The dryers at our school ran much hotter than home dryers so I explained that to people.  Going to laundromats, some places have good instructions.  Others might as well not bother with the nonsensical things they put up.  Also, there is a trick to learning how to do the laundry for less money.  Sure you can sort everything for both the washer and the dryer, but it adds up quickly.  You don't pay less for a smaller load.  I was used to pinching pennies.

 

I also helped some people with things like checking accounts and what were then fairly new ATM cards.  I remember explaining to my friend Pat that the ATM did not know that he had written checks that day that had not yet hit the bank, so he had to account for that when figuring out if he could take out money.  He asked me for help because he bounced checks all over town.  (Not sure if anyone else remembers when people would refer to ATMs as "coke machines".)

 

I also taught some basic cooking and baking if people asked.  We had meal plans but we also had a large shared kitchen on our floor.  So I taught people how to bake a cake, quick bread and cookies.  The focus was on how to read and follow a recipe.  I also taught making spaghetti sauce, roasting  chicken, cooking pasta (without throwing it against the wall to test for doneness), making gravy, and cooking a (cheap cut of) steak.  Over the years a lot of the men, in particular, thanked me for this.  Those that wanted to know more could continue exploring but at least they had the basics down.  No one was going to starve on my watch.  

 

I brought some of these skills with me because we were very poor and my mother had us (mainly me) do all of the cooking and cleaning.  Before you all chime in that this was a good thing, understand she emotionally abandoned us then later physically abandoned us.  So I learned to cook by trial and error and relying on a  great cookbook from the 50s . I still have it.  If you need a prune whip recipe, I have three of them! 

 

I do think it's important to teach kids the basics.  They should know how to do laundry, cook some basics, shop for food, balance a checking account, etc.  My grandnephews are in a school district that offers life skills classes.  Very few do now.  They first offered it only for special needs kids but parents asked that other kids be allowed to attend.  The plus is for homework they can chose to help around the house.  

 

Now people do have the advantage of the internet.  However, you need to know enough to know what to ask.   

[JoanArc]

Just got a voicemail from the job I quit asking me to come back. Fat chance.

[kokapetl]

When I went away to college 35 years ago, I instructed many people on how to do laundry in the coin operated machines. So many people asked for my help that I finally posted a notice of when I would be available to help. Many of the people brought me thank you gifts, mainly snacks. Others gave me laundry quarters (more precious than gold). So I don't put these things down to kids these days. It really comes down to a matter of experience. I had lived on my own and, prior to then, we were renters who went to a laundromat. The dryers at our school ran much hotter than home dryers so I explained that to people. Going to laundromats, some places have good instructions. Others might as well not bother with the nonsensical things they put up. Also, there is a trick to learning how to do the laundry for less money. Sure you can sort everything for both the washer and the dryer, but it adds up quickly. You don't pay less for a smaller load. I was used to pinching pennies.

I also helped some people with things like checking accounts and what were then fairly new ATM cards. I remember explaining to my friend Pat that the ATM did not know that he had written checks that day that had not yet hit the bank, so he had to account for that when figuring out if he could take out money. He asked me for help because he bounced checks all over town. (Not sure if anyone else remembers when people would refer to ATMs as "coke machines".)

I also taught some basic cooking and baking if people asked. We had meal plans but we also had a large shared kitchen on our floor. So I taught people how to bake a cake, quick bread and cookies. The focus was on how to read and follow a recipe. I also taught making spaghetti sauce, roasting chicken, cooking pasta (without throwing it against the wall to test for doneness), making gravy, and cooking a (cheap cut of) steak. Over the years a lot of the men, in particular, thanked me for this. Those that wanted to know more could continue exploring but at least they had the basics down. No one was going to starve on my watch.

I brought some of these skills with me because we were very poor and my mother had us (mainly me) do all of the cooking and cleaning. Before you all chime in that this was a good thing, understand she emotionally abandoned us then later physically abandoned us. So I learned to cook by trial and error and relying on a great cookbook from the 50s . I still have it. If you need a prune whip recipe, I have three of them!

I do think it's important to teach kids the basics. They should know how to do laundry, cook some basics, shop for food, balance a checking account, etc. My grandnephews are in a school district that offers life skills classes. Very few do now. They first offered it only for special needs kids but parents asked that other kids be allowed to attend. The plus is for homework they can chose to help around the house.

Now people do have the advantage of the internet. However, you need to know enough to know what to ask.

Chequing accounts are completely alien to me. I've processed cheques from businesses as part of my job, but private citizens using cheques is as rare as hens teeth. Unless you're paying an invoice by mail, they practically cannot be used in Australia.

What does 'balancing' a chequing account involve?

[Lemur]

Chequing accounts are completely alien to me. I've processed cheques from businesses as part of my job, but private citizens using cheques is as rare as hens teeth. Unless you're paying an invoice by mail, they practically cannot be used in Australia.

What does 'balancing' a chequing account involve?

Checking my phone app to make sure I don't have more pending withdrawals than money?

[zenme]

Chequing accounts are completely alien to me. I've processed cheques from businesses as part of my job, but private citizens using cheques is as rare as hens teeth. Unless you're paying an invoice by mail, they practically cannot be used in Australia.

 

I agree, not as common anymore, however, I always seem to encounter check users ahead of me in the checkout line. 

[Honeycocoa]

There are a variety of books on this subject, the one I read most recently called How to Raise and Adult. The author is a friend of friends and  was the dean of freshman and undergraduates at our local fancy university. She talks about students getting more and more incompetent at life skills as they have put all their efforts into academics. It's an interesting read. Back in the day, I was the only one in the dorm with cough syrup and decongestants. , I eventually started charging for them

 

 When we married, my husbands siblings held up our chuppa, along with one of my friends ( so they were right up there  with us during the ceremony) my sister in laws asked me what I wanted them to wear, as they weren't bridesmaids. I just said a "solid color, long(ish skirt)". One wore a mild floral, which was fine. The other wore white lace, full length, with a drippy shawl.   Seriously,  white lace, like she was going to stand in for me if something happened. My girlfriends all thought it was pretty funny.

Edited September 10, 2015 by Honeycocoa

[ChocolateAddict]

I'm at uni but we don't tend to live out of home here so I can't relate to most of these. That said, my mum was of the opinion that if we were old enough to spread butter and Vegemite on bread, we were old enough to make our own lunches which is why my brother and I packed our own lunches from kindy.  It completely shocked me that one girl in my grade had a mum who made her lunch in year 12.  She was 18 and her mum still made and packed her lunch!  It was more common among the boys but I couldn't believe that they were legal adults who relied on their parents to make a sandwich and pack an apple each day.  Seriously, take two pieces of bread, put on some cheese and ham, grab two pieces of fruit and a couple of biscuits, it isn't that hard.  This same girl still had her mum pack her bag up until she was in year 9 - admittedly she was a bit of a princess (as you might have guessed) but I couldn't work out why her mum would enable her like that.  

[galax-arena]

I do think it's important to teach kids the basics.  They should know how to do laundry, cook some basics, shop for food, balance a checking account, etc.  My grandnephews are in a school district that offers life skills classes.  Very few do now.  They first offered it only for special needs kids but parents asked that other kids be allowed to attend.  The plus is for homework they can chose to help around the house.  

 

Now people do have the advantage of the internet.  However, you need to know enough to know what to ask.   

I never took a life skills course, but my parents did raise me to be resourceful, which I think has helped me just as much. And it's not like they deliberately set out to do that, they just... didn't hold my hand for everything. If I didn't know something, they'd shoo me away and make me figure it out myself. And it's like, while knowing what you don't know does take a certain amount of metacognitive ability to begin with, it's not like Internet research is especially complex. It's not relatively arcane the way the dewey decimal system is. You're curious about something, you type in the relevant keywords. You don't need to know the exact question.

 

But this really only applies to people like me, millennials with ready access to the Internet. It would be unfair of me to expect someone like my grandmother - someone who didn't grow up with the Internet at her fingertips - to be able to navigate the information superhighway lol. But if you're on OKC or heading off to college, it's not an unfair assumption to make.

She talks about students getting more and more incompetent at life skills as they have put all their efforts into academics.

Ha, my parents were ALL about academics when I was growing up. It's why I didn't learn how to do laundry until I went to college; I didn't have very many household chores and I wasn't allowed to get an after-school job because ~homework was my job~. But hey, maybe the research skills I put into my homework helped me research basic life skills. ;) 

Edited September 10, 2015 by galax-arena

[3girlsforus]

One thing struck me about the Duggar girls lack of domestic skills. Since they are being matched with boys who are raised to believe in the Gothard life, I would think they would be expecting their women to run the home. They don't spend time alone with them and all the hustle and bustle in the Duggar world probably makes it look like these are domestic goddesses. I bet it could be a real shock to these guys to marry and discover their wives who are supposed to exist for home and baby making don't have basic housekeeping and cooking skills.  Seems like it's part of the contract in a Fundie marriage that the woman does the house stuff and yet as dedicated as JB and Michele are to creating Fundie kids with Fundie marriages, they aren't even preparing them to be good at that.