Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Minivanessa]

9 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

If on your dime check out Costco.  They are good and not so expensive and if I'm correct you don't have to be a member!

They might help your tinnitus!

@zoomama, if Costco's an option, do check them out. I've been happy with Costco's hearing department.  I have a slight hearing loss, got hearing tests at my HMO every year or so to monitor it, and finally 4 years ago they said it was time to get hearing aids. 

I learned that the cost of hearing aids at Costco was half of what I would have paid out of pocket for basically the same hearing aids (maybe a different brand) at my HMO, even with the benefit of an insurance "discount" at the HMO (and none at Costco). The Costco hearing dept is staffed by licensed audiologists with the same credentials as the audiologists at my HMO, and the results of the hearing test I had at Costco was the same as those at my HMO. IOW I felt confident in the competence of the Costco folks. I got my hearing aids at Costco four years ago and have been happy with them. And with the service and assistance after I got them.

I had been told - as was mentioned here above - that it's better to get hearing aids sooner rather than later. My rough take on it (I'm NO scientist, lol) is that if you go too long with a hearing loss, and then start using hearing aids, your brain is challenged to process the sounds it's hearing which I think is why some people have a hard time adjusting to using hearing aids. 

My sad story is - pandemic. Two things. First, I was in the (bad) habit of not wearing my hearing aids around the house, or at least until I was showered, hair done, etc. Well, when the pandemic meant working at home all the time, I just got lazy and quit putting in the hearing aids. Second, face masks. My hearing aids, which are the behind-the-ear type, all too easily get tangled up with the mask ear loops and thus get yanked off.  So I just have not worn my hearing aids for awhile now.

This discussion has prompted me to get back on track. I'll put the hearing aids on today, just deal with the mask thing. And schedule an appointment for a hearing test at Costco. I think the technology has improved even more over the past four years and I'm open to the possibility of buying a new pair. We'll see. I think they now have aids that you can charge overnight vs. having to replace those little batteries, which is a PITA.

[ginger90]

11 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

I'll put the hearing aids on today, just deal with the mask thing

There are “ear savers” or “mask extenders”, they clip onto the ear loop of the mask around a button or cutout, and go around the back of the head. They’re good for people with hearing aids, and people who are required to wear masks for long shifts.

Edited April 11, 2021 by ginger90

[Jeanne222]

30 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

@zoomama, if Costco's an option, do check them out. I've been happy with Costco's hearing department.  I have a slight hearing loss, got hearing tests at my HMO every year or so to monitor it, and finally 4 years ago they said it was time to get hearing aids. 

I learned that the cost of hearing aids at Costco was half of what I would have paid out of pocket for basically the same hearing aids (maybe a different brand) at my HMO, even with the benefit of an insurance "discount" at the HMO (and none at Costco). The Costco hearing dept is staffed by licensed audiologists with the same credentials as the audiologists at my HMO, and the results of the hearing test I had at Costco was the same as those at my HMO. IOW I felt confident in the competence of the Costco folks. I got my hearing aids at Costco four years ago and have been happy with them. And with the service and assistance after I got them.

I had been told - as was mentioned here above - that it's better to get hearing aids sooner rather than later. My rough take on it (I'm NO scientist, lol) is that if you go too long with a hearing loss, and then start using hearing aids, your brain is challenged to process the sounds it's hearing which I think is why some people have a hard time adjusting to using hearing aids. 

My sad story is - pandemic. Two things. First, I was in the (bad) habit of not wearing my hearing aids around the house, or at least until I was showered, hair done, etc. Well, when the pandemic meant working at home all the time, I just got lazy and quit putting in the hearing aids. Second, face masks. My hearing aids, which are the behind-the-ear type, all too easily get tangled up with the mask ear loops and thus get yanked off.  So I just have not worn my hearing aids for awhile now.

This discussion has prompted me to get back on track. I'll put the hearing aids on today, just deal with the mask thing. And schedule an appointment for a hearing test at Costco. I think the technology has improved even more over the past four years and I'm open to the possibility of buying a new pair. We'll see. I think they now have aids that you can charge overnight vs. having to replace those little batteries, which is a PITA.

I was having a problem with the mask pulling off the hearing aide.  I've kind of solved it by removing the mask ear string front to back instead of just pulling it off!  

Hope that might work for you!

[QuinnInND]

My MIL found this place to get masks. They're wonderful. Perfect and comfy to wear. They have some that don't go behind the ears, which would be good for hearing aid wearers. 

https://www.beautiesltd.com/collections/face-coverings

The masks are great quality. Highly recommend. 

[Zella]

Just echoing what everyone said about getting the hearing aids sooner rather than later. My grandfather finally got hearing aids about 20 years after he actually needed them (and then lost those after a couple of years and waited a year or so to get any replacements due to the pandemic and expense), and his hearing loss is still profound. 

[GeeGolly]

Y'all read about the woman from NH who gave birth at 57? Part of her story is tragic - her second child, a daughter died a few years ago, at age 13. Now she has the infant son and a young adult daughter.

[Zella]

5 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Y'all read about the woman from NH who gave birth at 57? Part of her story is tragic - her second child, a daughter died a few years ago, at age 13. Now she has the infant son and a young adult daughter.

I didn't read it, but I saw that headline, and it made me do a double-take! I know some ladies who had children in their 40s but nobody in their 50s. 

[iwantcookies]

The husband is 65 I think. I wish them many years with their new baby.  she will be 75 when he graduates high school. I really hope the kid has HEALTHY parents for a long time.

Edited April 11, 2021 by iwantcookies

[GeeGolly]

8 minutes ago, Zella said:

I didn't read it, but I saw that headline, and it made me do a double-take! I know some ladies who had children in their 40s but nobody in their 50s. 

I'm around her age. I had my babies during my 20s. The only diapers I want to be changing after that many years are my (not yet born) grandchildren's.

Edited April 11, 2021 by GeeGolly

[emma675]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

Y'all read about the woman from NH who gave birth at 57? Part of her story is tragic - her second child, a daughter died a few years ago, at age 13. Now she has the infant son and a young adult daughter.

Good lord, could you imagine being surprised with a pregnancy in your 50s?? I would lose it. And imagine having kids 18+ years apart. I would think their relationship would be more like an aunt/uncle than a sibling with that age gap. 

[Zella]

Just now, emma675 said:

I would think their relationship would be more like an aunt/uncle than a sibling with that age gap. 

That's definitely my experience with having half-siblings who were teens when I was born. I've read before that, according to birth order theories, once there's about 5 years' difference between siblings, they basically are like only children rather than the normal older child/younger child dynamic. 

[CouchTater]

23 hours ago, Zella said:

Just an update to add to our collection of COVID vaccine reaction stories. Got second dose of Moderna yesterday afternoon. None of the mild aches and pains I had last time and not having fatigue, but do have the sore arm. Not quite as bad as last time, and it feels better this morning, but it still was pretty painful yesterday. Assuming the pain will wear off either today or tomorrow morning, which happened last time. 

I forgot to post about my 2nd-shot experience (Pfizer) on Wednesday, 4/7.  The actual shot was more painful than #1, and I have some soreness in the arm.  But with the 1st shot I also got bruising, a lump, and some lingering tenderness (other arm).  

However, I was extremely fatigued for about 48 hours with shot #2.  I'm really only feeling like myself just today.

Overall, very minor effects and well-worth it if COVID is kept at bay!

[iwantcookies]

1 hour ago, emma675 said:

Good lord, could you imagine being surprised with a pregnancy in your 50s?? I would lose it. And imagine having kids 18+ years apart. I would think their relationship would be more like an aunt/uncle than a sibling with that age gap. 

It was probably IVF or whatever it’s called. I doubt she conceived naturally at 56/57.

[BitterApple]

1 hour ago, Zella said:

That's definitely my experience with having half-siblings who were teens when I was born. I've read before that, according to birth order theories, once there's about 5 years' difference between siblings, they basically are like only children rather than the normal older child/younger child dynamic. 

I can confirm that. My brother and sister are more than a decade older than me, and while I love both, it was hard to have a close relationship growing up. You're always in different stages of life and never have much in common.

[Jenniferbug]

I couldn't imagine having kids 18+ years apart! That's so bizarre to me, to go back to diapers after preparing to be empty nesters but I guess that's what you do if you have surprise pregnancy. My kids are just now getting to ages where they can mostly entertain themselves and I have time for myself again. 

I had a friend who was 17 when her little brother was born. She was an only child all those years and was bugging her parents for a puppy. They said "how about a little brother instead?" And she responded "why would I want one of those NOW? I'd rather have a puppy". So...the news of her mother being pregnant wasn't super well received, though she does love her brother. 

I'd be too worried about having a baby at this point in my life. Both my pregnancies were hard on me, and labors were not smooth. My youngest was almost stillborn. If we had done a home birth like the Duggars do, she absolutely would have been. It was a major factor when my husband and I discussed having more children- we couldn't put ourselves through the worries about what would go wrong during labor the next time. 

 

[GeeGolly]

18 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

I can confirm that. My brother and sister are more than a decade older than me, and while I love both, it was hard to have a close relationship growing up. You're always in different stages of life and never have much in common.

I've shared this before, my mom and her 4 siblings were born in a 20 year span, with my mom being the youngest. At age 13 she went to live her her sister. Her sister had a toddler and newborn when she took my mom in and then 4 years later she had another child. So at age 28 my aunt 'had an 17 year old', two tweens and a newborn. Needless to say, the youngest, my cousin T, was spoiled rotten.

I was young when I had my kids and we spent 10 after the youngest was born contemplating having one or two more. We never did, but I have always wondered what it would have been like to have had a couple more. Like would I have been I different mom 10 years later? I'm guessing I would have been.

[doodlebug]

I'm almost 16 years older than my baby sister and we've only gotten close as adults.  My parents had 5 in 7 years and then #6 9+ years later.  It was like having 2 separate families.  My little sister is almost like an only child.

I have a close friend who had an oops at 44.  She had a 12 and 14 year old at the time and it nearly killed her.  I remember talking to her when her little one was about 3.  His older brother had his license and a girlfriend and she found herself waiting up for him to get home 'just in case' and not getting to bed until around 2 AM.  But guess who was up at 6 AM, no matter what?  She said she'd take him to the family room and lie on the couch dying while he watched cartoons and threw Cheerios all around the room.  She told me, 'God plays a special trick on you when he gives you toddlers and teenagers at the same time'.

I always thought I'd be sad when I went into menopause because I never had kids, but, by that time, at age 52, that ship had sailed long ago.  No way I'd want a baby in my 50's.

Oldest person I ever delivered was 54.  She didn't get married until age 48, her husband had 3 adult kids from his first marriage.  There is no way to adopt an infant in the US if you're over 40 and sources of foreign adoption dried up.  She figured it was going to have to be her or nothing.  She used a donor egg and was pumped full of hormones.  She had a pretty uneventful pregnancy but needed a C/S.  I asked her what her husband's kids thought about the whole thing and she told me that, luckily, they'd been raised well and were too polite to say anything to their faces since she and their father really wanted a baby; but she was sure they went home and talked about how they were both nuts.  Her step daughter was pregnant at the same time and they had a joint baby shower.  Her kid was about a month older than his niece or nephew.

[Albanyguy]

4 hours ago, emma675 said:

Good lord, could you imagine being surprised with a pregnancy in your 50s??

 

3 hours ago, iwantcookies said:

It was probably IVF or whatever it’s called. I doubt she conceived naturally at 56/57

The baby was conceived through IVF after many, many unsuccessful attempts. I wonder if this is something Michelle has tried. It would seem to violate their beliefs, but I could see her doing it on the QT if she thought she could get that magical 20th kid. And she could still legitimately claim "I gave birth to them all!".

[QuinnInND]

Why in God's name would someone want a baby at 55 or 56?  That's crazy. I'm surprised a Dr would do IVF on someone that old. 

[Scarlett45]

6 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Y'all read about the woman from NH who gave birth at 57? Part of her story is tragic - her second child, a daughter died a few years ago, at age 13. Now she has the infant son and a young adult daughter.

 

6 hours ago, Zella said:

I didn't read it, but I saw that headline, and it made me do a double-take! I know some ladies who had children in their 40s but nobody in their 50s. 

That wasn’t her egg. It was very much her child, she’s the mother, legally and she gestated it, but it was a donor egg. Many women can gestate fetuses after menopause with donor eggs, the tech has been around a while. But people don’t think of egg donation right off the bat the way they do sperm donation (probably because the woman is gestating and raising the baby, you don’t think the egg came from somewhere else). 
 

My friend’s much older sister cashed out her 401k to buy a donor egg to hold onto her millennial boyfriend, and she’s still complaining they are not married. She’s 53, he’s 29, the baby is one...(his biologically). 

14 minutes ago, QuinnInND said:

Why in God's name would someone want a baby at 55 or 56?  That's crazy. I'm surprised a Dr would do IVF on someone that old. 

See my example above. 

[awaken]

I’ve worked with several first time parents in their 50’s!  It’s always interesting 🙂

[SunnyBeBe]

I returned to in person church service today.  The first time since covid.  It’s a large sanctuary with just a few fully vaxed, masked people.  We sat very far apart.  It was nice.  It felt pretty safe.  I’ll likely return.  
 

Sadly, I got word that a friend I haven’t seen in awhile has advanced gastric cancer. This is very concerning. I don’t know much about it.  I intend to offer support next week. Not sure what to say.  

[DangerousMinds]

1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

 

That wasn’t her egg. It was very much her child, she’s the mother, legally and she gestated it, but it was a donor egg. Many women can gestate fetuses after menopause with donor eggs, the tech has been around a while. But people don’t think of egg donation right off the bat the way they do sperm donation (probably because the woman is gestating and raising the baby, you don’t think the egg came from somewhere else). 
 

My friend’s much older sister cashed out her 401k to buy a donor egg to hold onto her millennial boyfriend, and she’s still complaining they are not married. She’s 53, he’s 29, the baby is one...(his biologically). 

See my example above. 

Reverse the sexes and this is not uncommon. Fewer people seem to get upset when fathers are older. Still the old double standard.

[louannems]

4 hours ago, doodlebug said:

I'm almost 16 years older than my baby sister and we've only gotten close as adults.  My parents had 5 in 7 years and then #6 9+ years later.  It was like having 2 separate families.  My little sister is almost like an only child.

I have a close friend who had an oops at 44.  She had a 12 and 14 year old at the time and it nearly killed her.  I remember talking to her when her little one was about 3.  His older brother had his license and a girlfriend and she found herself waiting up for him to get home 'just in case' and not getting to bed until around 2 AM.  But guess who was up at 6 AM, no matter what?  She said she'd take him to the family room and lie on the couch dying while he watched cartoons and threw Cheerios all around the room.  She told me, 'God plays a special trick on you when he gives you toddlers and teenagers at the same time'.

I always thought I'd be sad when I went into menopause because I never had kids, but, by that time, at age 52, that ship had sailed long ago.  No way I'd want a baby in my 50's.

Oldest person I ever delivered was 54.  She didn't get married until age 48, her husband had 3 adult kids from his first marriage.  There is no way to adopt an infant in the US if you're over 40 and sources of foreign adoption dried up.  She figured it was going to have to be her or nothing.  She used a donor egg and was pumped full of hormones.  She had a pretty uneventful pregnancy but needed a C/S.  I asked her what her husband's kids thought about the whole thing and she told me that, luckily, they'd been raised well and were too polite to say anything to their faces since she and their father really wanted a baby; but she was sure they went home and talked about how they were both nuts.  Her step daughter was pregnant at the same time and they had a joint baby shower.  Her kid was about a month older than his niece or nephew.

We had close friends who had twelve year old and fourteen year old daughters. The parents were still young but they decided for the husband to get a vasectomy.

Instead of going to a urologist for the procedure, he went to their old, long-time G.P.  Shortly after performing the vasectomy, the doctor died.

My friends knew it took a couple of months to clear all of the sperm, so they actually waited three months before abandoning their birth control. Because they felt they had waited beyond the recommended time, they chose not to have a sperm count test..

The wife immediately became pregnant!

The husband went to a urologist (finally!) where he was told the G.P had not cut the vas deferens.  He had only cut some capillary or other vein.  He promptly got a real vasectomy!

Their unexpected child, a boy, was the most mild mannered behaved little kid ever!  That after two ADHD girls!

[DangerousMinds]

28 minutes ago, awaken said:

I’ve worked with several first time parents in their 50’s!  It’s always interesting 🙂

Many , many children are raised by grandparents of that age in this country successfully. It can be done !

[crazycatlady58]

Good News Sunday .. tomorrow I get my second Covid vaccine. 

[Scarlett45]

3 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

Reverse the sexes and this is not uncommon. Fewer people seem to get upset when fathers are older. Still the old double standard.

Absolutely! I agree. 
 

But I do at least have to say when the fathers are older they tend to be men of means, that can afford to support another child even as they wind down working.

The “cashed out the 401k” and “crying over not being married after gestating his fetus” perplexes me more than the gamete donor part. Plenty of people would be great parents and don’t have appropriate gametes (for whatever reason). 

[GeeGolly]

In some ways I think I'd be a better parent now than I was in my 20s, and in some ways not so much. I was mentioning the article to my husband, who is over 10 years older than me and teasingly said, what you think, you in? He replied, no way, what if they were twins, and we can't get rid of the kids we already got. (one of our kids moved back home a few years ago)

More power to the 57 year old new mom. I guess were sticking with the kids we got and our granddog.

[iwantcookies]

@Scarlett45 if the 29 year old didn’t marry her by now he isn’t going to. Might even skip town. Hope the baby is loved by both parents. 

[Scarlett45]

1 minute ago, iwantcookies said:

@Scarlett45 if the 29 year old didn’t marry her by now he isn’t going to. Might even skip town. Hope the baby is loved by both parents. 

Don’t we know it! We are telling her to stop asking him about marriage and get another job so she can support herself. 
 

We don’t doubt he and his family will take care of the baby, (he does love and he wanted the baby) but she’s got to be able to live when he finally goes bye bye. 
 

Also it’s not good to have no pride. I’m not going to constantly ask someone “why aren’t we married yet?”

[iwantcookies]

I know someone who has 3 sons by a guy who doesn’t work. Didn’t work when she got with him either. She had the third because she wanted a girl. And he doesn’t want to get married! Foolish girl is working and supporting 5 people. And he doesn’t clean or cook just does nothing all day. 

🙄🙄🙄

[Suzn]

1 minute ago, iwantcookies said:

I know someone who has 3 sons by a guy who doesn’t work. Didn’t work when she got with him either. She had the third because she wanted a girl. And he doesn’t want to get married! Foolish girl is working and supporting 5 people. And he doesn’t clean or cook just does nothing all day. 

🙄🙄🙄

I am never, ever going to understand the things some women will do to hang on to a man, sometimes any man!  It is just disturbing.

I am self-censoring something overly descriptive of the asset/gift/talent I would hope he brings to the relationship to justify being a leech.

[Scarlett45]

9 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

I know someone who has 3 sons by a guy who doesn’t work. Didn’t work when she got with him either. She had the third because she wanted a girl. And he doesn’t want to get married! Foolish girl is working and supporting 5 people. And he doesn’t clean or cook just does nothing all day. 

🙄🙄🙄

Does his penis vibrate? Really I wanna know, that would be the only reason to keep him around. The sperm bank would be cheaper. 
 

Nothing wrong with not being married or with a man being a stay at home parent if that’s what people want, but sounds like this guy is just a bum who ejaculated near her cervix a few times.  

Just now, Suzn said:

I am never, ever going to understand the things some women will do to hang on to a man, sometimes any man!  It is just disturbing.

I am self-censoring something overly descriptive of the asset/gift/talent I would hope he brings to the relationship to justify being a leech.

I didn’t self censor!

[Suzn]

2 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

Does his penis vibrate? Really I wanna know, that would be the only reason to keep him around. The sperm bank would be cheaper. 
 

Nothing wrong with not being married or with a man being a stay at home parent if that’s what people want, but sounds like this guy is just a bum who ejaculated near her cervix a few times.  

I didn’t self censor!

Yours was better than what I had anyway!  🤣

[iwantcookies]

23 minutes ago, Suzn said:

I am never, ever going to understand the things some women will do to hang on to a man, sometimes any man!  It is just disturbing.

I am self-censoring something overly descriptive of the asset/gift/talent I would hope he brings to the relationship to justify being a leech.

I agree she wants to screech I got a man! Ohkay?! She is so beautiful too. And all she got is a lazy bum. She wants to marry him so badly 🙄

I had a coworker try to set me up with her 29 year old son... he is very attractive. But he NEVER had a job and uses drugs. Mooches off mom or various women he moves in. I said no thank you. I think she was trying to pass him off to me to support. Lol

Edited April 12, 2021 by iwantcookies

[beckie]

9 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Y'all read about the woman from NH who gave birth at 57? Part of her story is tragic - her second child, a daughter died a few years ago, at age 13. Now she has the infant son and a young adult daughter.

Did it happen naturally or did they do it artificially? I have heard of a woman pregnant in her 50's but I think she was inseminated. 

[doodlebug]

3 hours ago, QuinnInND said:

Why in God's name would someone want a baby at 55 or 56?  That's crazy. I'm surprised a Dr would do IVF on someone that old. 

Usually, they won't.  The 57 year old had to shop around to find a clinic willing to take someone her age.  My 54 year old patient was required to have a complete physical, a lot of blood work, a colonoscopy and a cardiac stress test before she could get considered.

There are some clinics that want the publicity.  Using donor eggs is very expensive and is not covered by insurance.  I have a friend who is in her late 20's. had leukemia as a teen and 2 bone marrow transplants.  She's healthy now, but in menopause.  When she got married, we all knew she was hoping to get cash gifts because she needed $30 grand out of pocket for the donor and the IVF.  She is now 38 weeks along, it worked the very first time!  We are all thrilled for her.  But, it is that kind of money that makes fertility clinics willing to take older women.

[doodlebug]

20 minutes ago, beckie said:

Did it happen naturally or did they do it artificially? I have heard of a woman pregnant in her 50's but I think she was inseminated. 

No, she was in menopause for several years, then one of her children, a teen daughter, died.  This made her and her husband want another child, so they found a fertility specialist willing to implant a donor egg in her.  The clinic gives the menopausal woman hormones to synch her cycle for IVF so her body is prepared when the embryo is placed so it can implant.  Her husband was the sperm donor.  There are, of course, cases where up to 5 people involved in a single pregnancy.  There can be the couple who want to have a child.  Then, a sperm donor and an egg donor.  Finally, another woman might carry the pregnancy as a gestational surrogate, which is becoming more and more common all the time.  We see a fair number of surrogate pregnancies in my office.

[emma675]

I have a friend who could not get pregnant in her 20s after trying for years. She and her husband are both lawyers so money for IVF wasn't a problem, but luckily she got pregnant the second try. And they had twins, a boy and a girl.  She was thrilled to have one, much less one of each. They never used birth control because she couldn't get pregnant naturally....or so they thought. Almost 15 years after the twins, surprise! They got pregnant with another girl one night after a drunken wedding reception. So at one point they had a newborn and newly licensed to drive twins. She had a minor breakdown to me during that time, she loved all of her kids but the age gap was so hard. She thought she was done with diapers and teething and toddlers and was looking forward to her kids going off to college and having her husband and life to herself again. Now she's essentially doing it all over again. Her twins love their little sister but the age gap means they will never be all that close.

[doodlebug]

10 minutes ago, emma675 said:

I have a friend who could not get pregnant in her 20s after trying for years. She and her husband are both lawyers so money for IVF wasn't a problem, but luckily she got pregnant the second try. And they had twins, a boy and a girl.  She was thrilled to have one, much less one of each. They never used birth control because she couldn't get pregnant naturally....or so they thought. Almost 15 years after the twins, surprise! They got pregnant with another girl one night after a drunken wedding reception. So at one point they had a newborn and newly licensed to drive twins. She had a minor breakdown to me during that time, she loved all of her kids but the age gap was so hard. She thought she was done with diapers and teething and toddlers and was looking forward to her kids going off to college and having her husband and life to herself again. Now she's essentially doing it all over again. Her twins love their little sister but the age gap means they will never be all that close.

I have a patient who didn't ovulate regularly.  Her first child was conceived with a fertility med and only took a month or two to happen.  For her second child, we tried the med, but it didn't work.  Finally, she had to use in vitro.  Her insurance only covered part of the cost, the first 2 tries didn't work.  She and her husband decided to give it one more try and then stop since their daughter was 5 and they had spent so much time and effort.  She had a bunch of frozen embryos.  She told her doctor that it was her last try.  He told her he would place 3 embryos instead of the usual 2 to give her a better chance.  She figured, 'Why not, it's not going to work anyway'.  You probably guessed: triplets!  She and her babies did well. And, 9 months later, guess what?  She conceived naturally!  As she put it,'20 thousand bucks, a second mortgage on my house and NOW I get pregnant!'  Her husband had a vasectomy before the baby was born.  At one point, she had 4 kids under the age of 2.

I also had a patient who came to see me the first time at age 44 because she hadn't had a period in 3 months.  She'd been married 20+ years and hadn't used birth control in more than 14 years.  She and her husband were evaluated and no cause was found.  The only thing left was in vitro which was still pretty new and considered experimental at that time.  They decided to pass; they had good jobs, liked to travel, owned a nice home, had a couple of dogs.  So, I examined her.  She said, 'I think I'm going through the change of life'.  I told her her life was going to change all right,  Completely uncomplicated pregnancy, short labor, and a very healthy baby boy,  Her husband had a vasectomy because as she put it, 'One miracle per lifetime is all we can afford to put through college',  Her son has been nothing but a blessing and he has finished college.  I still see her for annual exams.

Edited April 12, 2021 by doodlebug

[doodlebug]

25 minutes ago, emma675 said:

I have a friend who could not get pregnant in her 20s after trying for years. She and her husband are both lawyers so money for IVF wasn't a problem, but luckily she got pregnant the second try. And they had twins, a boy and a girl.  She was thrilled to have one, much less one of each. They never used birth control because she couldn't get pregnant naturally....or so they thought. Almost 15 years after the twins, surprise! They got pregnant with another girl one night after a drunken wedding reception. So at one point they had a newborn and newly licensed to drive twins. She had a minor breakdown to me during that time, she loved all of her kids but the age gap was so hard. She thought she was done with diapers and teething and toddlers and was looking forward to her kids going off to college and having her husband and life to herself again. Now she's essentially doing it all over again. Her twins love their little sister but the age gap means they will never be all that close.

My friend with the toddlers and teens just packed her youngest off to college in January.  I asked her if she missed him.  She said she'd had kids hanging around the house for 30+ years and she was perfectly happy with her empty nest.  Still has the husband though.  Her older boys, now early 30's are long out of the house, married and working.

[GeeGolly]

I don't know if anyone mentioned this, but Amazon is selling 4" x 3" cases that fit vaccine cards. The prices are all over the place, but mostly around $7 dollars for 5 or 6 cases.

[Minivanessa]

So, I'm laughing at myself. A fast food chain I'm not familiar with - Cane's -  built a new restaurant right around the corner from where I live, that opened not long ago. They do chicken fingers. Often when I've driven past it, there have been lines (!) of cars at its double drive-through setup, with people standing out there apparently taking orders.

I've changed my eating habits for the better, but have slipped back into letting myself have "treats," which is one thing to do very occasionally and another to over-do. Ahem. The recent trend in that area has not been healthy. Another ahem. 

Yesterday afternoon I thought, instead of making myself a meal, I'll try the new place. Oh Lord. I drove up, and the order taker was standing by a little sign that gave me just five combo options, all the same except the number of chicken fingers, and it didn't look exciting. But I got the smallest option. I hated the smell of the food when I took the bag from the person at the window. When I got home (literally a five minute drive) and opened the bag? It was a big styrofoam container. Oh great, I think. I'm not only doing a carbfest here, I'm an enemy of the environment too.

And, the food. AWFUL. To call it "lukewarm" would exaggerate its place on the scale of cold-to-piping-hot. Disappointing in all other ways as well. I've had better chicken fingers just about everywhere I've ever had chicken fingers. Tasteless, almost a nasty texture too. The french fries were - a mystery substance. No texture, no taste. The "Texas toast" was an insult to the Lone Star State, and the cole slaw was over-sugared. 

I'm going to file this under "play stupid games, win stupid prizes." Maybe it was worth it in a way, because after sampling their food, that oh-so-nearby place is not any kind of temptation for me. 

Sorry, planet, about the styrofoam thing.

[Minivanessa]

10 hours ago, doodlebug said:

My friend with the toddlers and teens just packed her youngest off to college in January.  I asked her if she missed him.  She said she'd had kids hanging around the house for 30+ years and she was perfectly happy with her empty nest.  Still has the husband though.  Her older boys, now early 30's are long out of the house, married and working.

Sounds like a friend of mine. She married young and had two kids. Then was divorced, raising the kids, getting her law degree, etc.. Remarried later on and had one daughter in that marriage. I think there's about a 16 year gap between daughter #2 and #3. A couple of years ago the youngest graduated high school, and shortly afterwards my friend and I met up at some social event. She was so happy that she had finally, after 30+ years, packed her last school lunch. (And yep she would have been packing lunches, not handing them lunch money. For much of that time she had few extra dollars, and she's always been careful with her money, and good for her.)

[NotthebadVictoria]

10 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

So, I'm laughing at myself. A fast food chain I'm not familiar with - Cane's -  built a new restaurant right around the corner from where I live, that opened not long ago. They do chicken fingers. Often when I've driven past it, there have been lines (!) of cars at its double drive-through setup, with people standing out there apparently taking orders.

I've changed my eating habits for the better, but have slipped back into letting myself have "treats," which is one thing to do very occasionally and another to over-do. Ahem. The recent trend in that area has not been healthy. Another ahem. 

Yesterday afternoon I thought, instead of making myself a meal, I'll try the new place. Oh Lord. I drove up, and the order taker was standing by a little sign that gave me just five combo options, all the same except the number of chicken fingers, and it didn't look exciting. But I got the smallest option. I hated the smell of the food when I took the bag from the person at the window. When I got home (literally a five minute drive) and opened the bag? It was a big styrofoam container. Oh great, I think. I'm not only doing a carbfest here, I'm an enemy of the environment too.

And, the food. AWFUL. To call it "lukewarm" would exaggerate its place on the scale of cold-to-piping-hot. Disappointing in all other ways as well. I've had better chicken fingers just about everywhere I've ever had chicken fingers. Tasteless, almost a nasty texture too. The french fries were - a mystery substance. No texture, no taste. The "Texas toast" was an insult to the Lone Star State, and the cole slaw was over-sugared. 

I'm going to file this under "play stupid games, win stupid prizes." Maybe it was worth it in a way, because after sampling their food, that oh-so-nearby place is not any kind of temptation for me. 

Sorry, planet, about the styrofoam thing.

It’s their sauce that’s addictive and keeps people coming back, pretty sure it’s got drugs in it because my chicken hating bestie is obsessed 🤣. And I agree, greasy, soggy crinkle fries are 🤮🤮.

[Scarlett45]

In sad serious news- I just got off the phone with the social worker, I called and made a report regarding a concern for my great aunt (87 dementia) and her daughter/caregiver my cousin, regarding the condition of the home and the caregiver's refusal to accept nursing help (my aunt is now confined to bed after her hospital stay) because she does not want any one to see the condition of the home and report her. My Aunt got home because a male cousin put her in the car and carried her in.

 

I hate hate hate that I had to do this. I have tried for almost two years to get my cousin to clean up the home, and get some help, to replace the applicances and she wouldn't. I went to see my Aunt last week and my cousin was saying things that made no sense, like she was going to put her in the bathtub (yes, carry her alone through the hoard into the bathroom)- I told her she couldn't do that, she would hurt them both!

The saving grace is that my Aunt is too far gone, she doesn't know whats going on, but my cousin needs help herself- she is only 51. I accept that I may never get into the house again, I may never see my Aunt again, my cousin may never speak to me again, but she knows I loved her and I did the right thing by her. But it still hurts. 

So so much sorrow, especially after I watched my godmother leave her home with THREE WEEKS left to live, just to get away from her husband and have peace (and pancakes and bacon), I know if my Aunt could she would ask me to take her to a nice hotel and she would want a ham and cheese croissant with potatoes. 

I admit I am resentful I was put in this position. I would die of shame before I let my sister live like that (she with her Disney+ and new plushes), there is a higher standard for people who cannot choose. To end this on a light note, as we all should know, Tramp didnt have a collar until the end of Lady and the Tramp when he is adopted, so my sister had me cut it off (her Easter presents). See photo. This girl cracks me up. 

 

ETA: I am sick of all this awful stuff happening! Can we have a peaceful summer and I go to Disney World in the fall? When bad things happen I always want to be in Disney World. 

[Suzn]

13 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

In sad serious news- I just got off the phone with the social worker, I called and made a report regarding a concern for my great aunt (87 dementia) and her daughter/caregiver my cousin, regarding the condition of the home and the caregiver's refusal to accept nursing help (my aunt is now confined to bed after her hospital stay) because she does not want any one to see the condition of the home and report her. My Aunt got home because a male cousin put her in the car and carried her in.

 

I hate hate hate that I had to do this. I have tried for almost two years to get my cousin to clean up the home, and get some help, to replace the applicances and she wouldn't. I went to see my Aunt last week and my cousin was saying things that made no sense, like she was going to put her in the bathtub (yes, carry her alone through the hoard into the bathroom)- I told her she couldn't do that, she would hurt them both!

The saving grace is that my Aunt is too far gone, she doesn't know whats going on, but my cousin needs help herself- she is only 51. I accept that I may never get into the house again, I may never see my Aunt again, my cousin may never speak to me again, but she knows I loved her and I did the right thing by her. But it still hurts. 

So so much sorrow, especially after I watched my godmother leave her home with THREE WEEKS left to live, just to get away from her husband and have peace (and pancakes and bacon), I know if my Aunt could she would ask me to take her to a nice hotel and she would want a ham and cheese croissant with potatoes. 

I admit I am resentful I was put in this position. I would die of shame before I let my sister live like that (she with her Disney+ and new plushes), there is a higher standard for people who cannot choose. To end this on a light note, as we all should know, Tramp didnt have a collar until the end of Lady and the Tramp when he is adopted, so my sister had me cut it off (her Easter presents). See photo. This girl cracks me up. 

You've had so much sorrow to deal with.  As always, I admire your strength and I'm glad you get some pleasure from lighter things.

[Scarlett45]

5 minutes ago, Suzn said:

You've had so much sorrow to deal with.  As always, I admire your strength and I'm glad you get some pleasure from lighter things.

Thank you. I am allowing myself to feel my feelings. YAY therapy. And I am holding my pennies because I AM going on that Disney World trip in the fall, and Cosmo has a vet appointment in a few weeks- I know dogs are more expensive than cats typically so I have extra funds. I continue to lose weight so I am not buying new clothes, the Sephora VIB sale starts April 15th, I may get some things.

[Minivanessa]

16 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

Thank you. I am allowing myself to feel my feelings. YAY therapy. And I am holding my pennies because I AM going on that Disney World trip in the fall, and Cosmo has a vet appointment in a few weeks- I know dogs are more expensive than cats typically so I have extra funds. I continue to lose weight so I am not buying new clothes, the Sephora VIB sale starts April 15th, I may get some things.

Good for you! What a lot you have had on your plate lately. I'm glad there are good people like you in this world. Just saying. ❤️

 

[thehorseofpower]

I'm so sorry about your aunt's situation and that you had to make that call, @Scarlett45.  Hope you can get to Disney World when you're ready.

I'm feeling a lot of relief today because, after years of trying to convince my husband his anxiety levels are not normal and he needs to try medication or therapy or both and having him fight me tooth and nail and refuse to accept he has a problem and insist that he hates all medication and there's no way it would ever help him....he's FINALLY started taking medication and he is almost like a new person, or more like the person he was years ago when the anxiety was lower. The air around him used to almost sizzle with bad feelings, is the best way I can describe it...like I could feel the tightly wound nerves ready to burst if anything were to go wrong or the wrong thing was said, and now it feels calm around him. He has even admitted he missed a dose one day and immediately felt the difference and could see how bad things were for him before, without him even realizing it as he was living it. He has been grinding his teeth at night for years, so badly he's had to have fillings and would wake up most days with a clenched jaw and a headache....now he's waking up relaxed. He's also been suffering from some random GI issues in recent years and I'm hopeful these might also improve with his stress levels lower.

It took several terrifying full-fledged panic attacks recently and a trip to the ER to have one diagnosed because he was sure it was a heart attack or a stroke before this seismic shift could occur...wish he didn't have to hit rock bottom and take what will probably end up being a thousand dollar trip to the ER to finally agree to medication...but at this point, I'll take it. Covid and working in healthcare really accelerated his issues this past year and I'm so relieved he is finally accepting help and seeing results so he can understand he doesn't have to live with the stress level he was at previously. I was afraid he would finally agree to try medication only to have it not be the right one for him, and then would refuse to try another or use it as "proof" to say "see, I told you medication wouldn't work on me!" He's experiencing the positive effects right out of the gate now. I think my own anxiety levels are going to be second hand improved from having him be more relaxed and easier to talk to as well.

I also got my first vaccine last week and had almost no side effects from it - it's been a great week for science and medicine in my household! 😊