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Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

Honeycocoa

By Honeycocoa
in Counting On

Scarlett45
Message added by Scarlett45

This is a reminder that the Politics Policy is still in effect.

I understand with recent current events there may be a desire to discuss political social media posts of those in the Duggar realm- this is not the place for those discussions. If you believe someone has violated forum rules, report them, do not respond or engage.

Political discussion is not allowed in this forum- this includes Small Talk topics. Please stay in the spirit of the policy- I have noticed a tendency for some to follow the letter but not the spirit.

Guest

While we understand the frustration (change is never easy), please keep in mind that not everyone feels the same way and that for those members who don't, the ongoing conversation about other forums and chat options can equally be a cause of frustration.

Out of respect for your fellow posters, we kindly ask that you continue any discussion about alternatives via PM or the Technically Speaking: Bugs, Questions, & Suggestions area.

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kalamac

kalamac

I disagree about staying silent to keep the peace, if children could be disadvantaged.

*disclaimer, I had no problem cutting a huge chunk of close relatives out of my life, and don't understand why some independent adults put up with shit from parents/siblings/ whatever because "they're family".

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frenchtoast
frenchtoast

As a former mod (and one that had no input about the changes, I left years ago) the main overall theme/rule/guideline was posters should speak to and about each other with respect/kindness etc. Poster

Churchhoney
Churchhoney

Hi, guys. Just want to let everybody know that I'm simply rude enough to leave for months without saying why -- but that I'm in good health. I didn't actually intend to vanish when I did. But I got ex

lookeyloo
lookeyloo

Hello everyone.  I try and keep up with my Small Talk friends - I am not doing a good job.  Yesterday was 4 weeks.  Tomorrow is the Virtual Memorial and Life Celebration son in law has been working on

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bigskygirl

bigskygirl

I agree about not keeping silent to keep the peace, so I say try to find a safe way to inform the director about your mother-in-law if she is not good with children.

 

I have cut myself from my family and in-laws because they are a bunch of selfish, obnoxious pains in the butt. The last time I was around my in-laws was eight years ago, and I had a hard time keeping my mouth shut for a short two day visit. My husband stays in contact with his youngest sister and two nephews and went on a couple of vacations with them, and he has been helping her out since her husband died last year. He cannot stand his other two sisters.

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Jellybeans

Jellybeans

I disagree about staying silent to keep the peace, if children could be disadvantaged.

*disclaimer, I had no problem cutting a huge chunk of close relatives out of my life, and don't understand why some independent adults put up with shit from parents/siblings/ whatever because "they're family".

This!

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Pixie Chicken

Pixie Chicken

I would say something, for sure. Ask for a meeting and tell the director exactly what you told us -- that she's not allowed much contact with your own kids, for good reason, and that her applying there is likely a means to have access to her grandkids. I'd go so far as to say that it crosses all kinds of boundaries for you, makes your own daughter uncomfortable, and you'd be forced to switch daycare providers. You can ask her to keep the conversation private, and explain that it's not just about YOUR kids but the other ones at the center, too. They'd likely appreciate the heads-up, honestly.

I say this as someone with serious in-law issues. (That marriage counseling I mentioned? Yeah...) Your priority is to your girls, and if you're already at the point where you're limiting contact, the relationship probably isn't awesome as is, and you've already made the decision that family harmony ranks below your girls' wellbeing.

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msblossom

msblossom

If I'm the director, I would expect my clients/parents to inform me of their discomfort of having the In-Law in my employ. My advise is that you take your very valid reason of discomfort directly to the Daycare Director. Knowing this, I don't think the director will inform your involvement to your MIL, nor will she hire her.

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Jenniferbug

Jenniferbug

Thanks everyone! My mother-in-law actually called my husband this afternoon to tell him she picked up an application, and his reaction was about the same as mine (though a little less extreme), which I wasn't expecting so thank goodness we're on the same page with this. He's going to call her back tonight and try to diplomatically state that we're uncomfortable with it. If she still pursues the job,then I will approach the director to give her a heads up. She has no prior childcare experience but we live in a small town so the applicant pool might be small enough for that not to matter.

I know I probably sound like the daughter-in-law from hell to some of you,but I promise I do try. When I was pregnant we were excited to have grandparents right in town, and then we saw how terrible they were with our daughter. I tried to let them babysit a few times anyway, thinking she just needed practice after not being around babies for so long, but that didnt help so now we don't allow them to watch her. They see her when my husband and I are there too, and still don't make efforts to bond with her. I could say more, but I'll stop there.

Seriously, thank you all for the advice. I've been stressing over this all day!

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ChocolateAddict

ChocolateAddict

I'm send a virtual plate of chocolate chip biscuits over to the mods!  Just when it was getting a bit boring - the scandal was over, the show was cancelled and now Josh goes and creates another bushfire.  Thank you for all your amazing work :)

(Although you might be looking for something stronger than chocolate...)

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JoanArc

JoanArc

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So get this - The Duggar Empire Collapses, and I get my dream job all in the same day. I'll be an ICU nurse at an EXCELLENT hospital, moving on from doing med/surg at a crappy one. Big pay increase! I had to share this with someone.

 

I might even send the Duggars $5! ......Nah

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CherryMalotte

CherryMalotte

That's wonderful JoanArc!  I hope your job is all that you want it to be.

 

Ain't it something, just when I was having a few evil thoughts about the 20 year old who needs to learn to keep her mouth shut and do some more chores as well as despairing about my mothering techniques - the Duggars make me appreciate the parenting job I have done and that my kid is fairly normal.    

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Julia

Julia

So get this - The Duggar Empire Collapses, and I get my dream job all in the same day. I'll be an ICU nurse at an EXCELLENT hospital, moving on from doing med/surg at a crappy one. Big pay increase! I had to share this with someone.

 

I'm so pleased for you. It's really awesome to be engaged and charged up by what you do for a living, and being paid at least some portion of what you're worth is great.

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Wellfleet

Wellfleet

So get this - The Duggar Empire Collapses, and I get my dream job all in the same day. I'll be an ICU nurse at an EXCELLENT hospital, moving on from doing med/surg at a crappy one. Big pay increase! I had to share this with someone.

 

I might even send the Duggars $5! ......Nah

 

Wonderful news, Joanie! And on a day when we could really use some. Hope your new job is everything you want it to be. And, when the time comes, is even difficult to leave behind. That's the kind of work we all want to do... :>)

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dillpickles

dillpickles

I was thinking the other day about how weird it would be if we all actually met up. We would probably have nothing in common- everyone is spanned across 3 continents and we are all such different ages. I'm more at the age of Joseph/Josiah/Jinger whereas I know that others on here are a fair bit older :)

There is a funny little community on here that could never meet up in real life but can celebrate, console and support others without ever knowing the other person's name. The internet is amazing.

It really is.. I'm in the forgotten J's age range as well though. Maybe we can talk about defrauding rap music or whatever is popular nowadays sometimes.

So get this - The Duggar Empire Collapses, and I get my dream job all in the same day. I'll be an ICU nurse at an EXCELLENT hospital, moving on from doing med/surg at a crappy one. Big pay increase! I had to share this with someone.

I might even send the Duggars $5! ......Nah

I think the end of the Duggars is good luck for all of us, i just got a scholarship!

Congrats Joan, I'm popping a virtual bottle on your honour!

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GeeGolly

GeeGolly

I was thinking the other day about how weird it would be if we all actually met up.  We would probably have nothing in common- everyone is spanned across 3 continents and we are all such different ages.  I'm more at the age of Joseph/Josiah/Jinger whereas I know that others on here are a fair bit older :) 

There is a funny little community on here that could never meet up in real life but can celebrate, console and support others without ever knowing the other person's name.  The internet is amazing.  

We are kind of like that recent experiment where they had a bunch of men in a darkened room and no one knew who was who in respect to age, race, etc. After a lengthy discussion they were all quite surprised when the lights were turned on.

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NextIteration

NextIteration

I've been avoiding this thread as I've been dealing with my own pile of dung so hugs, congrats, I'm sorry to hears all around. ♥

 

Maisie had her cochlear turned on and is doing better. She's gaining weight again and is babbling away. :)
My health isn't good but the fat lady hasn't sung.
In other news, the man I thought was my rock and my heart has decided all of this is truly o much for him and he wants a separation. I'm not sure how much more I can take. He loves Maisie. I know that much is true. However, after my last chemo round, he came to me with tears and frustration to tell me this wasn't what he signed up for. As if I chose this for our life? He actually said, "I wish we could go back to before...." I'm angry and betrayed. How could I have not seen this coming?

 

I don't have any words of wisdom, all I can offer is virtual hugs and sympathy and maybe endorse Bella's plan, if he thinks leaving will help (duh now two households) with "stress" maybe it's best that his second personality raised it's head early and it's time to cut your losses.  I'm not completely convinced, he's petrified and being selfish but could come around.  I'm signing up with the posse though.

 

I am going through something similiar right now.

 

Special hugs for you as well. ♥

 

Finally, great job Seashell on a tough decision, you amazing grandmother!

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msblossom

msblossom

Yay!! Congratulations, JoanArc and Dillpickle!

It's exciting when things start to go your way and I'm a believer in that it sets in motion for more postive things to come your way. Cheers to you both! :)

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JoanArc

JoanArc

(edited)

I had Judaism class today, with a rabbi. The new job is at a prominent Jewish hospital, so it helps a lot. I can't wait to read Ben's rants about how jews are going to hell to my dying patients! Kidding, kidding. I love it there. It's freaking' fantastic.

Edited by JoanArc
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JenCarroll

JenCarroll

(edited)

I had Judaism class today, with a rabbi. The new job is at a prominent Jewish hospital, so it helps a lot. I can't wait to read Ben's rants about how jews are going to hell to my dying patients! Kidding, kidding. I love it there. It's freaking' fantastic.

Hee! Do they have a shabbos elevator? IMO one of the goofiest modern applications of Jewish law.

Seriously, what do they teach you in Judaism class? Curious since I am actually Jewish (although I can't say I've ever had a class in it) and I sometimes wonder what it looks like from the outside.

ETA I'm sure a lot of your patients would find Ben's rants hilarious. We tend to have a keen sense of irony.

Edited by JenCarroll
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Ilovemylabs

Ilovemylabs

Thank you, all.

We went to counselling for six weeks. He never seemed into it. I feel like there are two sides of him locked in a battle for his personality. I gave him so many encouragement and thanks for providing for us when I was pregnant and then during Maisie's NICU stay. He told the counsellor he felt abandoned by my choice to take Maisie back to the hospital we started at, instead of staying at the one that almost killed her. What grown man feels "abandoned" by that? He also said that he's feeling too much pressure from work, M's needs, and my needs to such an extant that he feels he "gets nothing". Well, Jesus! After four hours of therapy, sign classes, volumes of paperwork for M's medical calendar, and cancer, I just don't have the energy to be sexual or pamper him. I am trying to see it from his view but I have an internal monologue that says, "Man up, Man."

So sorry for all your grief.  Didn't this man know that when he promised to be with you 'in sickness or in health, for richer or poorer, for better or worse'  that it wasn't a CHOICE?  You don't get to say OK,  I pick richer, health and better.  UGH!  I wish it was harder to get married.

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JoanArc

JoanArc

 

Hee! Do they have a shabbos elevator? IMO one of the goofiest modern applications of Jewish law.

Yep.

 

Seriously, what do they teach you in Judaism class? Curious since I am actually Jewish (although I can't say I've ever had a class in it) and I sometimes wonder what it looks like from the outside.

ETA I'm sure a lot of your patients would find Ben's rants hilarious. We tend to have a keen sense of irony.

It's an intro to the religion, practices, etc that go on, so we're not so lost. Some of them I know from Jewish friends, but some I don't. It also keeps us from offending patients. It's a kosher facility, so we have to lean what we can and can't bring in, etc. The Rabbi is female, too. Also, everyone is bend-over-backwards nice.

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Julia

Julia

(edited)

I had Judaism class today, with a rabbi. The new job is at a prominent Jewish hospital, so it helps a lot. I can't wait to read Ben's rants about how jews are going to hell to my dying patients! Kidding, kidding. I love it there. It's freaking' fantastic.

 

Hee! Do they have a shabbos elevator? IMO one of the goofiest modern applications of Jewish law.

 

Always thought the shabbos elevator was a "letter of the law" thing and not so much the "spirit of the law".

My uncle retired to Riverdale, in the north Bronx. I was delighted to discover that the entire place is an eruv (an enclosed area in which the rules for behavior allowed inside the household on the Sabbath are extended to the outside).

Edited by Julia
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JoanArc

JoanArc

(edited)

I've got to ask. What is a Shabbos elevator?

An elevator that can be set up to work automatically on the sabbath. To comply with Jewish law.

It kind of skirts the religious rules, right?

Edited by JoanArc
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HundFan

HundFan

(edited)

Hee! Do they have a shabbos elevator? IMO one of the goofiest modern applications of Jewish law.

 

 

I understand the Orthodox prohibition re using electricity on the Sabbath, but I've never heard of a "shabbos elevator."  Someone to carry you upstairs on Fridays, maybe? ;)  Seriously, though, can you please explain?

 

ETA: Never mind. I was writing while JoanArc was explaining. Thanks!

Edited by HundFan
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