Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[kokapetl]

Truth talk, I've raised 3 kids (Number 2 was my SCREAMER) . I've BEEN that parent, and was MORTIFIED!!! I think you're absolutely right, they should have taken their food and departed rapidly. I cannot even BEGIN to count the times I've left a restaurant because MY kid was being THAT KID. why should other diners have to suffer through a meal (NOTHING will make you lose your appetite more quickly!) like that? It drives me CRAZY! And if the parents wouldn't think I was completely psycho, I would offer to (and HAVE ANYWAY) take the kid and walk with it (in plain view, of course). They can't be enjoying their own outing either. I just think it's so rude!!!

I flew to California with my son and his infant son once, and when we took off and his ears did the pop thing, he started screaming bloody murder. As soon as we leveled off, I picked him up and walked up and down the aisle for nearly 3 hours (disregarding peanut service...). I know the parents can't help it, and I know it's humiliating and embarrassing - but it is what it is and should be dealt with appropriately.

How many people were there that maybe enjoy going "out" once a week, or once a month, or even hardly ever? And guess what THEY talked about all week? Not the meal! I'm sorry this isn't working out for you...and I'm sorry you're miserable and your baby is miserable...but I don't think that gives you the right to make everybody else miserable with you.

Sorry, all the new mothers, I loooove babies and this sounds harsh, but it's just how the life cycle works. But as it turns out, my own peeves are my kids' as well - and I babysat a WHOLE LOT so they could have some normal time.

I guess workin' for Jay-sus trumps the expat stigma. Ooooh, I guess I can get down off my stump now...

Have you considered alerting the relevant Guatemalan authorities that your son in law doesn't have the funds to support a family of 6 during his stay in the country, and that he's not a tourist in any case?

[kokapetl]

Has anyone here read the story about the Marcy's Diner in Portland. Apparently, a couple brought a 20 month old into a crowded diner on a Saturday morning. The toddler (from stated reports) screamed and cried for 40 minutes. According to some of the news articles, the owner pretty much asked them to leave by giving them to go boxes- as the child was disturbing 75 other people. They did not leave and the owner finally slammed her hands on the counter (five feet away) and shouted, "This has got to stop." and pointed at the child. I guess the child stopped her fuss. Parents got pissed and the mother posted a comment on the diners Facebook page that went viral.

I've been to the Facebook page and have even posted there. I believe the reason this story is getting so much attention is that there are so many negligent parents that care nothing about other people and their dining experience. I'm of the opinion that they should have taken the child to the car and got the food to go. So many people have had horrible experiences in restaurants, movies, airplanes, etc. because some parents care nothing about controlling their children but more importantly for the other people at the establishment. Very sad.

I was recently on an airplane and was seated next to a young guy with a laptop. We had a mother and father with a toddler in front of us. The toddler continually threw his sippy cup in the aisle- even before take off. The mother kept picking it up and giving it back. He continued to throw it. OMG. Over and over! Finally he turned around and threw it on the guys laptop next to me. The cup spilled all over his laptop. Bad parents!!! I got up and asked the flight attendant to move. I told her I was having a panic attack- which was not a lie.

I think we have all had these experiences and this is the reason this story is causing such a response. Curious as to what you guys think.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/07/22/nytnow/rebuke-for-crying-child-in-a-diner-starts-a-parenting-debate.html?_r=0

I'm shocked the parents weren't wearing those stupid google glasses.

[Happyfatchick]

Have you considered alerting the relevant Guatemalan authorities that your son in law doesn't have the funds to support a family of 6 during his stay in the country, and that he's not a tourist in any case?

. (It's Nicaragua). I have no idea what kind of visa they're going in with. We have a friend in the FBI who says we need to advise the Nicaraguans that his website is all about rescuing prostitutes because we have a feeling he's going in a "mission related" type visa. I'm thinking out loud here... There are missionaries already there who have (so I've heard) some sort of temporary visas and have to return to the states periodically and re-enter Nica. He also stated in the "parents meeting" that the first thing he would do would be obtain a gun. I think regular citizens aren't allowed to own firearms in Nica; machetes are the weapon of choice typically. The FBI agent says we need to tell the Nica authorities that he intends to arm himself as well.

Anyone who has anything to say about this, I'm all ears.

They tell us that Nica is so poor, families actually voluntarily give or sell daughters into prostitution at ungodly young ages. They also tell us that this very thing is why they don't expect to be in eminent danger: it's so easy to collect prostitutes there, the traffickers don't mind losing them - there are always more readily available. This is so counter-intuitive for me, it makes my head spin. You're going to go there and remove some "guy"'s source of income and he's going to say, "well, shoot. Hey, Billy John, Go get me another one". AND you're going into that country to do THAT THING... with your 4 children, one of whom is 13, 5'4", thin, willowy and has amazing blue eyes the size of saucers. I'M JUST SAYING!!!!! Not that his other beautiful children don't count - but she's so high on the list I can't BREATHE when I think about it. So so so ridiculous.

[truthtalk2014]

Truth talk, I've raised 3 kids (Number 2 was my SCREAMER) . I've BEEN that parent, and was MORTIFIED!!! I think you're absolutely right, they should have taken their food and departed rapidly. I cannot even BEGIN to count the times I've left a restaurant because MY kid was being THAT KID. why should other diners have to suffer through a meal (NOTHING will make you lose your appetite more quickly!) like that? It drives me CRAZY! And if the parents wouldn't think I was completely psycho, I would offer to (and HAVE ANYWAY) take the kid and walk with it (in plain view, of course). They can't be enjoying their own outing either. I just think it's so rude!!!

I flew to California with my son and his infant son once, and when we took off and his ears did the pop thing, he started screaming bloody murder. As soon as we leveled off, I picked him up and walked up and down the aisle for nearly 3 hours (disregarding peanut service...). I know the parents can't help it, and I know it's humiliating and embarrassing - but it is what it is and should be dealt with appropriately.

How many people were there that maybe enjoy going "out" once a week, or once a month, or even hardly ever? And guess what THEY talked about all week? Not the meal! I'm sorry this isn't working out for you...and I'm sorry you're miserable and your baby is miserable...but I don't think that gives you the right to make everybody else miserable with you.

Sorry, all the new mothers, I loooove babies and this sounds harsh, but it's just how the life cycle works. But as it turns out, my own peeves are my kids' as well - and I babysat a WHOLE LOT so they could have some normal time.

I guess workin' for Jay-sus trumps the expat stigma. Ooooh, I guess I can get down off my stump now...

Absolutely love your post.  Number 2 was my screamer really cracked me up.  

 

Thank you for being a responsible parent!

[Happyfatchick]

Being a retired Marine, I can tell you that flying to Russia and "taking out a target" would be an act of war.. Pretty much none of the post rings true at all. And they do't discharge you for heatstroke. They treat you and send you back on duty

Jenny, I KNOWWWWWWW-wuh!!!!! We were having a yard sale when his mom trotted out in the yard where my Daddy and were sitting in the shade and told us the line about the red phone. We'd already been sitting there digging the whole stupid story apart when she gave us that installment. She trotted off happily (because her son is ALL THAT). Daddy sat there in silence for a few seconds and then said with a big sigh of frustration : MAN, I hope he never tells that story in public.

And by the way, my youngest is a Marine reserve and I BOW to you, girl. You have my greatest admiration.

[kokapetl]

. (It's Nicaragua). I have no idea what kind of visa they're going in with. We have a friend in the FBI who says we need to advise the Nicaraguans that his website is all about rescuing prostitutes because we have a feeling he's going in a "mission related" type visa. I'm thinking out loud here... There are missionaries already there who have (so I've heard) some sort of temporary visas and have to return to the states periodically and re-enter Nica. He also stated in the "parents meeting" that the first thing he would do would be obtain a gun. I think regular citizens aren't allowed to own firearms in Nica; machetes are the weapon of choice typically. The FBI agent says we need to tell the Nica authorities that he intends to arm himself as well.

Anyone who has anything to say about this, I'm all ears.

They tell us that Nica is so poor, families actually voluntarily give or sell daughters into prostitution at ungodly young ages. They also tell us that this very thing is why they don't expect to be in eminent danger: it's so easy to collect prostitutes there, the traffickers don't mind losing them - there are always more readily available. This is so counter-intuitive for me, it makes my head spin. You're going to go there and remove some "guy"'s source of income and he's going to say, "well, shoot. Hey, Billy John, Go get me another one". AND you're going into that country to do THAT THING... with your 4 children, one of whom is 13, 5'4", thin, willowy and has amazing blue eyes the size of saucers. I'M JUST SAYING!!!!! Not that his other beautiful children don't count - but she's so high on the list I can't BREATHE when I think about it. So so so ridiculous.

It's highly unlikely Nicaragua (or Guatemala, or nearly any country) will grant a visa to anyone who doesn't have the funds to pay for the duration of their stay including return airfares, and if your son in law doesn't get the appropriate visa, he (and his family) may be deported. This is probably worth investigating.

[GeeGolly]

Has anyone here read the story about the Marcy's Diner in Portland.  Apparently, a couple brought a 20 month old into a crowded diner on a Saturday morning.  The toddler (from stated reports) screamed and cried for 40 minutes.  According to some of the news articles, the owner pretty much asked them to leave by giving them to go boxes- as the child was disturbing 75 other people.  They did not leave and the owner finally slammed her hands on the counter (five feet away) and shouted, "This has got to stop." and pointed at the child.  I guess the child stopped her fuss.  Parents got pissed and the mother posted a comment on the diners Facebook page that went viral.  

 

I've been to the Facebook page and have even posted there. I believe the reason this story is getting so much attention is that there are so many negligent parents that care nothing about other people and their dining experience.  I'm of the opinion that they should have taken the child to the car and got the food to go.  So many people have had horrible experiences in restaurants, movies, airplanes, etc. because some parents care nothing about controlling their children but more importantly for the other people at the establishment.  Very sad.

 

I was recently on an airplane and was seated next to a young guy with a laptop.  We had a mother and father with a toddler in front of us.  The toddler continually threw his sippy cup in the aisle- even before take off.  The mother kept picking it up and giving it back. He continued to throw it.  OMG.  Over and over!  Finally he turned around and threw it on the guys laptop next to me.  The cup spilled all over his laptop.  Bad parents!!!  I got up and asked the flight attendant to move.  I told her I was having a panic attack- which was not a lie. 

 

I think we have all had these experiences and this is the reason this story is causing such a response.  Curious as to what you guys think. 

 

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/07/22/nytnow/rebuke-for-crying-child-in-a-diner-starts-a-parenting-debate.html?_r=0

I am of two minds with this one. First, we always removed our children when they acted up, and we generally received many compliments of how well behaved our babies were. So the parents were wholly in the wrong. But secondly, I believe the owner should have addressed the parents not the baby, maybe offered some subtle support to the parents, and if they didn't get it, gently point out that the baby is disturbing other diners. What I don't understand is how this was let to go on so long by anyone there. With all that said I would not boycott  the restaurant due to the owner's behavior, nor would I applaud her. 

 

 I believe kids are people and deserve respect.

 

I also believe that if parents are bringing kids places where their behaviors might disturb others, then they best be prepared to take care of them.

It's highly unlikely Nicaragua (or Guatemala, or nearly any country) will grant a visa to anyone who doesn't have the funds to pay for the duration of their stay including return airfares, and if your son in law doesn't get the appropriate visa, he (and his family) may be deported. This is probably worth investigating.

This is very true. I am friends with a number of folks who have difficulty getting family members into the US without the financial means to either support them, or for them to support themselves. 

[RedPonyDriver]

About the screaming kid...how the HELL can ANY parent NOT lose their cool if the kid has been screaming for an hour? I'd lose what was left of my marbles at that point. The parents should have removed said screaming child from the restaurant...IMO, they were being RUDE. The kid probably stopped because it was the first time the kid had gotten any sort of pushback on behavior. My almost 3 year old grandson will occasionally get rowdy (at home) and as long as we ignore him, he'll keep on doing it. The minute one of us grown ups speaks to him in one of those "tones", he'll STOP. My DIL tried that ignoring thing and it just doesn't work on some kids...they keep going. However, with my grandson (and it seems that with this child), the minute they get any pushback reaction they stop what they're doing and realize their behavior isn't cool. 

[dillpickles]

. (It's Nicaragua). I have no idea what kind of visa they're going in with. We have a friend in the FBI who says we need to advise the Nicaraguans that his website is all about rescuing prostitutes because we have a feeling he's going in a "mission related" type visa. I'm thinking out loud here... There are missionaries already there who have (so I've heard) some sort of temporary visas and have to return to the states periodically and re-enter Nica. He also stated in the "parents meeting" that the first thing he would do would be obtain a gun. I think regular citizens aren't allowed to own firearms in Nica; machetes are the weapon of choice typically. The FBI agent says we need to tell the Nica authorities that he intends to arm himself as well.

Anyone who has anything to say about this, I'm all ears.

They tell us that Nica is so poor, families actually voluntarily give or sell daughters into prostitution at ungodly young ages. They also tell us that this very thing is why they don't expect to be in eminent danger: it's so easy to collect prostitutes there, the traffickers don't mind losing them - there are always more readily available. This is so counter-intuitive for me, it makes my head spin. You're going to go there and remove some "guy"'s source of income and he's going to say, "well, shoot. Hey, Billy John, Go get me another one". AND you're going into that country to do THAT THING... with your 4 children, one of whom is 13, 5'4", thin, willowy and has amazing blue eyes the size of saucers. I'M JUST SAYING!!!!! Not that his other beautiful children don't count - but she's so high on the list I can't BREATHE when I think about it. So so so ridiculous.

So... where are the prostitutes supposed to stay once mr. narcissistic man, hero of Nica, liberator of Russia, and the champion of the U.S.A saves them? Do they go back to their parents, are they living in America...?

[Happyfatchick]

So... where are the prostitutes supposed to stay once mr. narcissistic man, hero of Nica, liberator of Russia, and the champion of the U.S.A saves them? Do they go back to their parents, are they living in America...?

oh, that's a LOVELY question. Thank you! The only "missionary" going with them immediately is the "director of the women's unit" or some junk. Ultimately she will find some sort of housing for them. Likely NOT back to the parents, who've sold or traded them into the trade in the first place. There are PLANS* (I've seen pics) to purchase land and build a "restoration" house for the ex-prostitutes. Meanwhile ... Who knows???

.

*Josh is ADHD besides his other psychotic tendencies (seriously, he is diagnosed ADHD, AND bi-polar at one point - but I think Jesus healed him of that malady. Allegedly.) Look! A squirrel!!! I've known him 17 years and can count on one hand (and not use all the fingers) how many projects he's ever started and completed. He's a classic STARTER. He is the MAN for the startup. Completion...not so much.

Edited July 22, 2015 by Happyfatchick

[BitterApple]

Regarding the restoration house, wouldn't it take the pimps like five minutes to figure out where it is? Money talks, someone would spill the beans eventually, no?

[Happyfatchick]

You guys are on FIIIIRE TONIGHT!! Another excellent question!

I'll tell you exactly what he told me, and I'll tell you this without judgement. Sort of. (Re: the restoration house for prostitutes).

J: eventually we'd like to build a "restoration house" so that the girls will be able to learn a viable trade before we put them back into society.

Me: uh-huh. Where will this be...in town?

J: oh, no. No, we want to buy property out away from everything.

Me: what??? Because you think you'll be SAFER secluded?

J: we want to buy some acreage on top of a mountain. And we'll build a wall around it.

Me: uh-huh

J: and make it into a compound. There will be separate buildings within the compound. Sammie [the "other" missionary] will be in charge of the women's ministry.

Me: uh-huh, and whats in this compound?

J: well, we'll have a separate house, and the restoration house. and other missionaries joining us later will likely have houses there too. Sammie will live in the restoration house, separate from us.

Me: uh-huh. And what will Rachel be doing?

J: oh, she'll be working with Bry [another missionary in the distant future] and they'll have a medical clinic. Until then, she'll be supporting my work, and homeschooling the kids. And gardening.

Me: on top of this mountain

J: yes!

Me: but...it seems a little counter-productive to seclude yourself away from town, if you're trying to minister to these people.

J: oh, they'll find us.

Me: but you'll be AWAY from town, within a walled compound, and the average villager has no transportation. How will people GET there?

J: oh, they'll get there all right, when they need us.

Me: Huh. And what will YOU be doing?

J: in town, rescuing girls

Me: Riiiight. And what's to keep the bad guys from invading the compound?

J: oh, it'll be guarded 24 hours a day. And that's where we WANT to be, on top of the mountain, so we can see people coming.

Me: Ahhh. Uh-huh. And where's the money coming from for all this?

J: donations. Once people understand what we're doing, they'll give us plenty for everything.

Me: uh-huh.

J: plus, we'll be working WITH the Nicaraguan government because they WANT this to stop. They are HAPPY we're coming. I think we'll eventually be getting money from the government for our projects.

And they all lived happily ever after. The end.

And I believe the Easter Bunny rides the Great Pumpkin's broom to my house every 4th of July, comes down the chimney shouting HO HO HO and leaves presents (and hopefully a new dress or two for Little Orphan Josie) that we open on New Years Day. And then we all drink purple koolaid with the tooth fairy on Christmas!!!

At MY house, we try not to swear much (but my husband was Navy and old habits die hard) because there's usually at least one Grand around. But we DO say "FOS" a whole lot...

Edited July 23, 2015 by Happyfatchick

[MonicaM]

HappyFatChick, I don't post a lot, but your messages have my blood boiling.  Your SIL is hitting on some of my major issues!!!  I've noticed that a lot of people around his age feel "the call" to go into ministry or missions full time, and they feel that others should financially support them.  They want your money and don't hesitate to lay on a guilt trip if you don't donate.  There's a school for missionary training in our area, and many of the local churches are solicited for cash almost every Sunday.  Everyone has a grand plan and is positive that they'll be welcomed by the government, the locals, the tourists and all of the wildlife.  They are often "called" to places like Nicaragua, where the scenery is beautiful, the weather is mild, and there are plenty of beautiful beaches.  Coincidence, I'm sure.  

 

I do believe that some people are called into full time ministry or missions.  However, I don't believe a genuine calling involves putting your family in harm's way or at risk of poverty.  I don't know your financial situation, but I sincerely hope you are able to put some money aside to help them buy plane tickets home when this venture fails spectacularly.  

[kokapetl]

So the prostitutes would be restoring/renovating the house?

[Wellfleet]

To my nice fam here in the prayer closet, I don't know what to do. My beloved cat Figaro was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. He's being treated with a loop diuretic and a calcium channel blocker, both of which seem to be working, but I am having a hard time with it anyway. I can't get mad at him for the stuff I normally mad at him for, like jumping on the table and trying to eat my food. He's already acting better, he's not in pain, and he's not unhappy. Yet just typing about him, I get tears in my eyes, like it's the worst thing in the world, or as if he is already gone. I know most of you have worse problems than a sick cat, but this has been my therapy cat since I started getting sick, and my whole world would crumble if something happened to him. If you could keep Figaro in your thoughts and prayers, I would be eternally grateful. He is 13 years old, and I want him to have another happy, healthy 13 years with me if possible. He's stuck by me through every hospitalization, even visiting me at some of them, and my heart is in pieces right now. It's hard not getting upset for his sake, but I do, and then he looks at me like "Mindy, why are you so upset?" So please, keep my little buddy in your thoughts. Next to my wife, he's the most important person in my life, and I want him to be okay. He's my best friend in the whole world, seriously.Any of you with cats know what I'm talking about. So yeah. Please keep my baby in your thoughts. I honestly don't think I could cope with the real world without him.

 

Consider it done, Mindy. Here's hoping Figaro still has at least 4 or 5 of his nine lives left and will be with you for a long time to come...

[Wellfleet]

Mindy, I am sorry to hear about Figaro.  As Micks Picks said, CHF is manageable in cats.  I’m sure the vet told you what to look for as they get the meds dosed correctly.  My former cat Theo (a.k.a. Thelonius, T Boy, the Tedster, Theolicous, The Old Man in the Fur, Bitey, Clawslinger) lived for more than five years with CHF.  He also had severe arthritis and a thyroid condition.  We ultimately lost him to an infection, but it was the end of a very long life.  A couple of tips if you’re having trouble pilling Figaro, you can put them in pill pockets.  However, many cats learn to eat around the pill. Poptart, another former cat companion, would eat around the pill, hold it in her mouth, walk across the room and spit it on the wall.  The she’d tell me off.  (I must admit I miss her litany of complaints.)  So I would crush the pills and put them into a small bit of chicken baby food.  You don’t want to give too much because in excess it can cause digestive issues.  This made the pills into a treat. 

 

At one point Theo was eating baby food almost exclusively due to a severe tooth infection.  I was stocking up at Target when the cashier decided to lecture me that my “baby” needed to eat more than just chicken; fruits and vegetables are important.  I pointed out my baby was a 20-something year old cat who didn’t really care for strained peaches.  That stopped the lecture.

 

Terrific idea to use chicken baby food as a "carrier" for kitty medicine! 

[ChocolateAddict]

Happy, this sounds almost unbelievable.  We will be on top of a mountain to see people coming?  Are you Macbeth or something? (Probably a bad example to use given the ending of Macbeth but anyway).  And it is total BS that the government wants a group of good-doers with no field experience, no money and no real plan to come and rescue the desperate people.  The government wants people who will help address the cause, not the symptoms.  It is pretty useless to go in and save 5 girls a year (or whatever) and not engage with the reasons why so many girls are trafficked into prostitution - poverty, lack of education, treatment of women, etc.  It sounds terrible but without considering the cause of the problem, they might be "saving" some girls but they aren't doing anything to stop more girls from ending up with the same fate. Not that long ago, I went on a mission trip for my final year of school.  We went to a Cambodian orphanage that takes in children who are dumped by their parents who can't financially support them.  It was frustrating because while the orphanage took in the children, they didn't do much to help the parents keep their kids.  If they had put effort into educating the parents with skills and better farming methods, there wouldn't have been so many children in the orphanage.  In the end, it is easier to take in the victims and fundraise for them as opposed to trying to understand why they became victims and instigating social change.   

If your SIL was serious about helping women in Nicaragua he would work with an organisation that not only helps the women currently being abused but helps to prevent future victims. 

[GEML]

On top of the mountain. So you can see them coming.

Does your SIL watch a lot of zombie apocalypse shows by any chance?

[Jynnan tonnix]

Aren't those mountains out there full of jungles and vegetation perfect for groups of guerillas?

[Cherrio]

Terrific idea to use chicken baby food as a "carrier" for kitty medicine! 

Baby food that contains onion should never be given to a cat.   Make sure you check the labels.

[Happyfatchick]

On top of the mountain. So you can see them coming.

Does your SIL watch a lot of zombie apocalypse shows by any chance?

I have no idea what he watches. I do know he owns an XBox (spends a good deal of time playing with it) and that it's going to Nica with them. Big.Fat.Tell.

[GEML]

Well, my son plugged in his Wii into the Irish socket with the proper converters (not an adapter, an actual converter). It then gave a loud "Pop" and let out a whiff of smoke.

Alas, poor Wii. We knew you well.

[kokapetl]

Well, my son plugged in his Wii into the Irish socket with the proper converters (not an adapter, an actual converter). It then gave a loud "Pop" and let out a whiff of smoke.

Alas, poor Wii. We knew you well.

Some things, like the power adapters for iPhones can take 100 - 240 volts, but a cursory inspection of my wii and 3DS adapters show 230 - 240 volts, so an American/Japanese one would only likely take approx 110 volts.

Lucky it's not 2007, your son would've had a meltdown too.

[Happyfatchick]

Well, my son plugged in his Wii into the Irish socket with the proper converters (not an adapter, an actual converter). It then gave a loud "Pop" and let out a whiff of smoke.

Alas, poor Wii. We knew you well.

dear sweet Baby Jesus: just so you KNOW, I would think it was HILARIOUS if this happened to Josh.

ETA: (not necessarily speaking to Jesus...) I wouldn't be completely devastated if josh plugged in the coffee maker while alone in the kitchen tomorrow, and the family heard a loud "pop" and ran in to find a whiff of smoke where he'd been standing. True story, unfortunately.

Edited July 23, 2015 by Happyfatchick

[Catlyn]

*Josh is ADHD besides his other psychotic tendencies (seriously, he is diagnosed ADHD, AND bi-polar at one point - but I think Jesus healed him of that malady. Allegedly.) Look! A squirrel!!! I've known him 17 years and can count on one hand (and not use all the fingers) how many projects he's ever started and completed. He's a classic STARTER. He is the MAN for the startup. Completion...not so much.

 

Maybe by September he'll see another "squirrel" and forget about this latest project.  Since they have to build the compound which can take quite a while, I can't see him keeping up with this foolishness. Of course, from the way he sounds, he'll probably find something even more foolish and dangerous.

 

After hearing the Russian story, I'd be concerned: the man has problems.  My father was in military intelligence. If anything like that happened we wouldn't have known about it because he wouldn't be able to say anything.  As others pointed out, the story had more holes in it than a slice of Swiss cheese.

[dillpickles]

I have no idea what he watches. I do know he owns an XBox (spends a good deal of time playing with it) and that it's going to Nica with them. Big.Fat.Tell.

Tell him to sell the xBox to raise funds. It's a heathen product anyway.

[Mindymoo]

I will totally have to try the baby food thing. He doesn't like pill pockets. We used to use them for his thyroid medication, but Figaro would tongue his meds and go hide the pill pocket and pill in his litter box. (He's a crafty one.) So now his thyroid med is topical and we just put it in his ear twice a day. I'm hoping that they will be able to turn his two new meds into a liquid so they will be easier to give him, but I have a month's worth of pills for now. I do think he realizes that he needs the meds though. He doesn't fight as hard against them the way he did with his thyroid meds.

 

I need to watch a really sad movie that will make me cry until there are no more tears left. Maybe then I won't start crying at the drop of a hat when I'm thinking about him.

 

 

ETA: (not necessarily speaking to Jesus...) I wouldn't be completely devastated if josh plugged in the coffee maker while alone in the kitchen tomorrow, and the family heard a loud "pop" and ran in to find a whiff of smoke where he'd been standing. True story, unfortunately.

Spontaneous human combustion would be a great way for him to go. So little mess left behind too, besides the char spot on the floor.

 

After hearing the Russian story, I'd be concerned: the man has problems.  My father was in military intelligence. If anything like that happened we wouldn't have known about it because he wouldn't be able to say anything.  As others pointed out, the story had more holes in it than a slice of Swiss cheese.

 

That story made me think of Kevin Kline's character in "A Fish Called Wanda", when he pretended to be a CIA agent and was explaining to John Cleese's character's wife that they were on a top secret mission sweeping the houses for KGB officers. Her father was in military intelligence and called out his bullshit right away.

Edited July 23, 2015 by Mindy McIndy

[Readalot]

HFC your SIL reminds me of my friend's boyfriend/fiancé/husband/ex. He was in the Marine Corp and used to come up with some stories I tell ya. My hubby was in the Navy at the time but even though the "stories" defied common sense and I knew they were false, I'd run them by my hubby and he would just laugh. I would tell my friend but she had blind faith in her guy. I feared for her. After marriage and one child he was caught in illegal activity while in the MC. She almost lost her child because of him. He has been in the federal pen for about ten years now. I feel bad for the child who never really had a dad but it was for the best he is locked up. I know prison is extreme HFC but I hope your daughter situation is resolved with their permanent separation/divorce too.

[Wellfleet]

dear sweet Baby Jesus: just so you KNOW, I would think it was HILARIOUS if this happened to Josh.

ETA: (not necessarily speaking to Jesus...) I wouldn't be completely devastated if josh plugged in the coffee maker while alone in the kitchen tomorrow, and the family heard a loud "pop" and ran in to find a whiff of smoke where he'd been standing. True story, unfortunately.

 

Me either - but then again, Josh would never plug in a coffeemaker. That's "female" work. Wink wink.

[Wellfleet]

I will totally have to try the baby food thing. He doesn't like pill pockets. We used to use them for his thyroid medication, but Figaro would tongue his meds and go hide the pill pocket and pill in his litter box. (He's a crafty one.) So now his thyroid med is topical and we just put it in his ear twice a day. I'm hoping that they will be able to turn his two new meds into a liquid so they will be easier to give him, but I have a month's worth of pills for now. I do think he realizes that he needs the meds though. He doesn't fight as hard against them the way he did with his thyroid meds.

 

I need to watch a really sad movie that will make me cry until there are no more tears left. Maybe then I won't start crying at the drop of a hat when I'm thinking about him.

 

 

Spontaneous human combustion would be a great way for him to go. So little mess left behind too, besides the char spot on the floor.

 

That story made me think of Kevin Kline's character in "A Fish Called Wanda", when he pretended to be a CIA agent and was explaining to John Cleese's character's wife that they were on a top secret mission sweeping the houses for KGB officers. Her father was in military intelligence and called out his bullshit right away.

 

Loving the spontaneous combustion concept for Josh! And PS - for some really, really sad movie recommendations, how about Sophie's Choice or Cast Away? Although Cast Away ends on a hopeful note, that last scene with Tom Hanks and Helen Hunt always gets me big time. Through no fault on their own, they're still apart - arrrggghhh!  

[Mindymoo]

Loving the spontaneous combustion concept for Josh! And PS - for some really, really sad movie recommendations, how about Sophie's Choice or Cast Away? Although Cast Away ends on a hopeful note, that last scene with Tom Hanks and Helen Hunt always gets me big time. Through no fault on their own, they're still apart - arrrggghhh!  

Sophie's Choice would probably wreck me. Excellent recommendation, thank you. I was thinking Harold and Maude because I always start sobbing as soon as Maude tells Harold she took the tablets an hour ago and the song Trouble starts. (I love that soundtrack so much.) So now I have two movies to destroy myself with tonight.

[Honeycocoa]

Sometimes warming up the chicken baby food a little bit helps.  The water or oil left in the tuna can is also a great incentive, if that's on his diet.

( and most cats don't want strained peaches, but many of them will eat cantaloupe ,  asparagus and peanut butter..

 

And now a random Dugger moment. We were visiting my father in laws girlfriends house ( mother in law passed years ago) On her coffee table are photo albums from various bar mitzvahs and weddings, the most recent one being her grand daughters. So I'm paging through it and I start laughing to myself..  Girlfriend wore Michelle's duct tape dress to the wedding!  ( the one she wore to Jill and Derricks) And it looked great on her! She's in her early 80s, no modesty panel for heavens sake, it was knee length and she looked good. No one else understood why I was chuckling and I didn't try to explain.  I had to resist the urge to ask if she still had it in her closet. When the 80 year old looks much better in the dress than the 40 year old, someone's wearing it wrong.

 

Wanderwoman, hope you are ok, please check in with us when you have a chance...

Thinking of you all.

 

 

ETA Cantalope, for heavens sake, not antelope!

Edited July 23, 2015 by Honeycocoa

[Happyfatchick]

Me either - but then again, Josh would never plug in a coffeemaker. That's "female" work. Wink wink.

hahahaha!!!!! I was talking about my son-in-law Josh, but it fits all around! Something in the name!!!

Sophie's Choice is my favorite movie of all time. I looooove this movie. I could be (with little prompting) as stupid as the leghumpers about Meryl. I think she's genius. I've seen Sophie 100 times (I'm guessing - I know all the dialog) and even though I KNOW it, I see it coming, it's...right here...OMG!!!!! Every single time I hope another solution presents itself. (You know the scene...).

But Mindy, don't watch that tonight, watch something funny instead. Or at least not heart wrenching. Driving Miss Daisy? My Cousin Vinny? (So funny!) Mrs. Doubtfire! If you want something to make you weepy, do Steel Magnolias - its got that amazing scene with Sally Field but at least ends more positive.

I'm just saying don't cry all over that poor kitty. Don't make him feel sad for you. (Although I GET that, done it to my dogs a million times - but not about THEM). GREAT NAME, that cat, although I can't think it without singing it...

[Mindymoo]

Tuna is on his diet, but I only give it to him twice a week because too much fish can cause cats to develop kidney stones. He's also on an all wet food diet (so is his brother) because it's low carb and closer to what he would be eating if he was a wild kitty. I will be all over the baby food though, and will have to make sure there's no garlic or onion in it. And Figaro does love peanut butter, so maybe I'll give him some of that with his pills. These are just two medications that I can't risk him tonguing and hiding somewhere. It was bad enough with his thyroid pill, but these two drugs are vital if he's going to stay alive, not be in pain, and not struggle to breathe. I am noticing even more improvement today with him, though. He was just chasing his little brother around the house and pretending he was the Iron Sheik, giving Floyd a little beat down. So that's encouraging. If he can get the best of a kitty a decade younger than he is, he must be feeling a little bit better.

 

Ugh, I know what you mean Happyfatchick. I know the scene, and there are two movies I am that way with: Midnight Cowboy and The Crying Game. I always want Ratso Rizzo and Joe Buck to make it safely to Florida, even though I know how it ends and Ratso has TB; and I always want Jody and Fergus to escape together and for it to be a buddy comedy about a British soldier and a former member of the IRA running away from Fergus' former IRA associates. Why can't they just have an alternate ending add on? And I am so with you about Meryl Streep. She is perfection. Sophie's Choice, The Deer Hunter... She's such a magnificent actress, and an incredible beauty. And Figaro got his name because he's a grey tuxedo cat, and he looks like a grey version of the cat from the old Figaro and Cleo cartoons. He's got a million nicknames too, and he responds to all of them. I love that little guy so much, and I'm so scared for him, despite how well he's responding to treatment right now. On the upside, I've only cried twice today, which is much better than what I've been doing the last week.

Edited July 23, 2015 by Mindy McIndy

[Micks Picks]

I can't stand sad movies.  None make me cry, they move so slow it irritating.  But A Fish Called Wanda, now there is a classic piece of art.  And the only film where dogs were killed and I laughed.  Screamed with laughter.  That movie is pure genius.  For those who haven't seen it, do it now.

[JoanArc]

I always enjoy reading here, but never post. Can I throw my tale of woe into the mix?

 

Long story shot - I had jury duty, got picked for a LONG trial, and was sole dissenting voice when it came time to vote. I'm shocked that adults can act like middle schoolers during something something serious. I was firmly convinced of my position, beyond a reasonable doubt. I had to deal with people actually arguing that I must must be wrong because that's not what happens on Law & Order. Seriously. I was willing to go for a mistrial, but couldn't get one. I couldn't convince a roomful of people who just wanted to go home, and weren't listening. I was bullied into voting the way they wanted, it had to be unanimous. I feel like crap. After the trial, I asked a lawyer friend if I processed everything correctly. He said yes, I understood everything correctly.

 

Reading Duggar snark really helped me today. Thanks everyone for your posts.

 

Oh, and props to Wanderwoman. You're great!

[Mindymoo]

I can't stand sad movies.  None make me cry, they move so slow it irritating.  But A Fish Called Wanda, now there is a classic piece of art.  And the only film where dogs were killed and I laughed.  Screamed with laughter.  That movie is pure genius.  For those who haven't seen it, do it now.

Most of the movies that make me cry aren't movies that are sad the whole time. Midnight Cowboy, Harold and Maude, The Crying Game, Pan's Labyrinth- all are movies that will get me in the gut at a certain point, but aren't necessarily sad movies. But yes to everything you said about A Fish Called Wanda. That is probably my favorite comedy of all time. I've seen it at least fifty times, know the dialogue by heart, and I still laugh like an idiot every time I watch it. That movie is perfection, and it's no wonder that Kevin Kline won an Oscar for that role. He was a genius in that role.

[GEML]

I'm sorry, Joan. I can easily picture just how that happened, and how miserable that must have been.

[Jynnan tonnix]

I've never been able to watch Sophie's Choice...I remember watching a bit of it once upon a time on HBO or something...must have been something around 25 years ago (I had two young children at the time, a boy and a girl)...anyway, I watched about 15 or 20 minutes of it, which just happened to include "that scene". And I burst into tears and fled. Traumatized. Couldn't even let it into the corner of my mind for years without sobbing, and never dared to actually brave the entire movie.

 

Then again, I sob at completely innocuous stuff as well...I'm infamous for needing a few tissues to get through the spaghetti scene in Lady and the Tramp.

 

For a good, old-timey laugh, there's not a lot that amuses me every.single.time. more than The Court Jester with Danny Kaye.

[latetotheparty]

I've never been able to watch Sophie's Choice...I remember watching a bit of it once upon a time on HBO or something...must have been something around 25 years ago (I had two young children at the time, a boy and a girl)...anyway, I watched about 15 or 20 minutes of it, which just happened to include "that scene". And I burst into tears and fled. Traumatized. Couldn't even let it into the corner of my mind for years without sobbing, and never dared to actually brave the entire movie.

 

Then again, I sob at completely innocuous stuff as well...I'm infamous for needing a few tissues to get through the spaghetti scene in Lady and the Tramp.

 

For a good, old-timey laugh, there's not a lot that amuses me every.single.time. more than The Court Jester with Danny Kaye.

Danny Kaye!  First crush!  Aging myself, I know, and I don't care. <3

[Jenniferbug]

I cry at everything so no way could I even attempt watching Sophie's Choice. It's been a long time since I watched anything intentionally that made me cry but we all need to wallow sometimes!

Joan, that sounds miserable. I'm so sorry your experience was so awful. Admittedly most of my legal knowledge comes from Law & Order, but I can't imagine actually using that to help in a real life trial. I'm sorry you're feeling so rotten over it and hope you can put it behind you soon.

I love Danny Kate and I'm barely in my 30s. White Christmas is one of my very favorite movies.

Edited July 24, 2015 by Jenniferbug

[Mindymoo]

I've never been able to watch Sophie's Choice...I remember watching a bit of it once upon a time on HBO or something...must have been something around 25 years ago (I had two young children at the time, a boy and a girl)...anyway, I watched about 15 or 20 minutes of it, which just happened to include "that scene". And I burst into tears and fled. Traumatized. Couldn't even let it into the corner of my mind for years without sobbing, and never dared to actually brave the entire movie.

 

Then again, I sob at completely innocuous stuff as well...I'm infamous for needing a few tissues to get through the spaghetti scene in Lady and the Tramp.

 

For a good, old-timey laugh, there's not a lot that amuses me every.single.time. more than The Court Jester with Danny Kaye.

My go-to for old timey laughs will always be anything Marx Brothers, but preferably Duck Soup or A Night at the Opera. I have a tendency to sob as stuff that isn't as sad as it is beautiful and moving. The speech at the end of The Great Dictator? It leaves me a blubbering mess every time I see it. Charlie Chaplin was basically breaking the fourth wall and speaking to the world as himself, rather than his character with that speech, and it's just so beautiful that it makes me cry. I always cry at the end of Tommy as well, when he's finally free from everyone and the song See Me Feel Me/Listening To You is being sung in the background. And young fatherless Pink being rejected on the playground in The Wall makes me cry, but that really is more sad than anything.

[Julia]

I must have watched Stand and Deliver twenty times, and every time I think I'm tough. Then every time Jaime Escalante walks out of the building where his kids killed the retest while the number of students who passed the AP exams in all the years since flashes across the screen, and every time I cry like a baby.

Edited July 24, 2015 by Julia

[Cherrio]

Danny Kaye!  First crush!  Aging myself, I know, and I don't care. <3

Mommy, I wanna glass of water used to scare the shit out of me when I was a kid.

For Figaro

    If this has already been mentioned, forgive me.   I know you said you struggle with the pills.

              I found what works best for my cats are 2 methods.      First one which would be better because he takes multiple pills is coating the pill with butter. It will go down much easier. Get the pill in his mouth, then gently massage his throat to make him swallow.

 

My other thing for one particular cat I have is to either wrap or crush the pill in sliced deli turkey. I made a little ball and he gobbles it up.   But, it only works with pills he cant detect. Some he knows right away I am trying to screw with him.

[kokapetl]

I've been hiding my dog's pills in a teaspoon of deviled ham.

[Micks Picks]

My border collie who has been gone a year now from the earth, had to have pills shoved down her throat.  Believe me, it was all that ever worked.  Hide it?  Hell no.  No way to disguise it and I tried it all.  When my younger dog got his first pill as a puppy he ran right over and took it from me and swallowed it.  I laughed and said oh you sweet dumb puppy I love you so!   But the border collie promptly instructed him as to the error of his ways, and he can't be fooled into a pill anymore either.  I don't like to give pills, obviously.

[wanderwoman]

Checking in. The situation isn't really improving and I find I have nothing positive to contribute to the boards. In some ways, I feel like the Duggar's life is mirroring our own situation: one tragedy after another. I've been trying to stay positive but it's hard. Massive got her cochlear and it hasn't been the easiest process. We thought about deferring until Fall but every doctor and specialist said not to wait. She did well in surgery but had a post op issue. It was resolved and we will have the devices turned on in about a week but her breathing issues related to prematurity caused problems. Dh is dealing with this in his own way. He and I have this history of a strong team and now I miss my team mate. There's a distance growing and therapy only works if you go. He's prioritizing work so we don't lose insurance and I'm prioritizing other things like our actual health. I'm torn in too many directions. I'm struggling. My cancer is doing what we expected and I'm actually not having a difficult time with the chemo. I'm having a tough time having the energy and patience I need to be a mom and patient. Money is tight and we had to let the therapist go so it's just me and Maisie most days. I know it will pass.

[Readalot]

Well Wanderwoman that just sucks a big toe! Except for the chemo sessions not giving you a bad time. And that Maisie's surgery went well. Glad the post op issue is resolved. Are you eligible for federal or state disability payments? I wish there was something I could do to help relieve some of your struggles. And I think therapy can help for just one person if for anything but learning coping skills. As soon as my magic wand gets fixed I will wave it over your family, but until then I send you thoughts of strength and patience from CA.

[P2C2E]

Wanderwoman, hang in there! I'm glad to hear Maisie is doing well after the implant issues, and I'm glad your chemo treatment is going well. I am so sorry for all the other struggles your having, especially with DH. Relationships can be difficult when life is normal, adding all that stress of NICU and now your health problems doesn't help at all. As everyone else has said many times, I wish there was something I could do to help. As it is, I will just send all the peace and healing I can in your direction. Know that there are people out here rooting for you and praying to whoever and however we can. May you have strength and peace and healing enough for each day as it comes. May you have wisdom and patience and love for yourself and your whole family. May there be light in your life enough to touch others. May you be, and be the best you can be. 

[Sew Sumi]

Thirded! It's been said much more eloquently than I ever could say it.

 

Love and light from NoCal.