Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Panopticon]

3 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

Okay, I have a couple of nephews from AZ who plan to travel to CA to see their ailing step grandfather (but not related to me....long story 😁) atvthe end of this month. They want to see me. How do I tell them no without sounding like a paranoid lunatic? They're coming to visit a man in his 80s with seemingly no regard for his health. I personally think they should stay at home, but they're younger and apparently think they're invincible. 

I'm SEVERELY (thanks, Jill!) lacking in tact. How do I let them down easy? 

If you feel Iike a paranoid lunatic (I think you’re being perfectly reasonable), is leaning into it a possibility? “I’d love to see you but I’m not comfortable with visiting under the circumstances. Maybe this makes me a paranoid lunatic but that’s my best judgment right now. I can’t wait to get together when the pandemic is over.” 

[Zella]

I wouldn't use "maybe I'm being a paranoid lunatic" as an excuse here because it is neither paranoid nor lunacy to be cautious right now. I'm all for being polite to people within reason, but I really don't see why the person who is being responsible has to make themselves out to be the unbalanced one here. It's foolish and reckless for them to be doing this, and i see no reason to spare their feelings over it. Maybe they need a kick in the ass to realise how dangerous their plan is.

Edited to add: I think as women, society often makes us feel like we have to be apologetic in moments like this and cast ourselves as the ones who have to apologize even when we are not being unreasonable or doing anying wrong, but I think it does a disservice to ourselves to do that when there is no reason to assume the blame.

Edited May 13, 2020 by Zella

[Panopticon]

I’d say it depends on the family dynamic, the willingness of the folks involved to listen (which is probably low— there’s no excuse for not knowing what risk they’re taking), and the desire of the person being reasonable to pick a battle at the moment. It’s neither automatically wrong to call someone out nor automatically wrong to accept that you can’t change their behavior and make the interaction as low-key as possible. I’ve watched people do both in the last week. The person who unloaded on the friend throwing a party suspects she now has one fewer friend. The person who didn’t scold her parents when they took off their masks around her grandmother is seething but not stuck with new family drama when she’s already in over her head. 

[Zella]

4 minutes ago, Panopticon said:

I’d say it depends on the family dynamic, the willingness of the folks involved to listen (which is probably low— there’s no excuse for not knowing what risk they’re taking), and the desire of the person being reasonable to pick a battle at the moment. It’s neither automatically wrong to call someone out nor automatically wrong to accept that you can’t change their behavior and make the interaction as low-key as possible. I’ve watched people do both in the last week. The person who unloaded on the friend throwing a party suspects she now has one fewer friend. The person who didn’t scold her parents when they took off their masks around her grandmother is seething but not stuck with new family drama when she’s already in over her head. 

That's very true. I have some really toxic motherfuckers in my family, so I'm pretty ruthless in picking my sanity over their comfort every time, and it's no skin off my back if they don't want to talk to me because of it. I realize not everyone has that family dynamic, though. But I still think it's better in this situation to not apologize for using common sense even if you do let them down gently otherwise.  

Edited May 13, 2020 by Zella

[jcbrown]

9 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

I may have mentioned my (huge) old lady crush on Lin-Manuel Miranda, and my obsession with Hamilton?? I am soo happy to see this coming. I'm getting Disney+ just for it! 😁

I better have SOMEONE irl I can watch it with! I don't care if we have to still sit outside six feet apart while watching on separate computers😂

I totally shrieked when I saw this news earlier today.

[Sew Sumi]

I'm especially close to one of the nephews, but I don't think telling him that he's bring reckless would be a good idea. He's old enough to know better, but young enough to not think this affects him. I just can't believe that their step grandfather is allowing the visit. I've never really liked the guy, but I don't wish the virus on him.

[Zella]

Just now, Sew Sumi said:

I'm especially close to one of the nephews, but I don't think telling him that he's bring reckless would be a good idea. He's old enough to know better, but young enough to not think this affects him. I just can't believe that their step grandfather is allowing the visit. I've never really liked the guy, but I don't wish the virus on him.

I think in that case, just say you're not comfortable meeting them and leave it at that, without apologizing for your decision or actively castigating him for his. 

[Sew Sumi]

Yeah, I am leaning on generalities. I'll probably remind him that we're still in Stay at Home mode until the end of the month (which is when they'll be here). I know that AZ is opening up as I type, but that may be a stupid mistake. As flying to CA may be. 

Edited May 13, 2020 by Sew Sumi

[Zella]

Just now, Sew Sumi said:

 I know that AZ is opening up as I type, but that may be a stupid mistake.

I read an article on CNN today that described states reopening as a real Leeroy Jenkins moment, and it was so true. Arkansas is currently cautiously reopening different types of businesses in waves (and with tight restrictions), but I feel like it's a really bad idea. 😕 

[andromeda331]

2 hours ago, Zella said:

I read an article on CNN today that described states reopening as a real Leeroy Jenkins moment, and it was so true. Arkansas is currently cautiously reopening different types of businesses in waves (and with tight restrictions), but I feel like it's a really bad idea. 😕 

So do I. There's still a lot of people dying. The virus hasn't really shown much sign that its going down or has gone away. It really disturbs me how many people act like 80,000 plus people dead is no big deal or that we need to accept people dying in order to get back to work, hair cuts, movies and the beach. I really fear all opening up is going to do is spread the virus even faster and more out of control then now. More people are going to die that didn't have too. 

[Love2dance]

@Sew Sumi, maybe you can be honest and tell them you are being VERY careful and following all the distance and mask protocols. If they want to see you they will need to meet you on the sidewalk/grass/driveway outside your home, for a short while, staying six feet away, with masks on(assuming this is even feasible). This might deter them, but I sure wouldn’t do anything that makes you feel unsafe or uncomfortable. But it is very sweet that they do want to visit.

Edited to say I didn’t see the page that came after I wrote my post. So my advice doesn’t really work. Please let us know what you decide.

Edited May 13, 2020 by Love2dance

[ChiCricket]

4 hours ago, Zella said:

CNN today that described states reopening as a real Leeroy Jenkins moment

I had never heard of a Leeroy Jenkins moment, so I googled it.

  Looked like all the players died at the end...that doesn't sound good... 

Also, how old were the guys playing this weird fantasy game in this video?

They sounded like grown men.😱 (btw, if cursing offends you, this is not for you)

PS..I learn something new every day in these forums... 😂

 

Edited May 13, 2020 by ChiCricket

[Chicklet]

10 hours ago, Zella said:

That's very true. I have some really toxic motherfuckers in my family, so I'm pretty ruthless in picking my sanity over their comfort every time, and it's no skin off my back if they don't want to talk to me because of it. I realize not everyone has that family dynamic, though. But I still think it's better in this situation to not apologize for using common sense even if you do let them down gently otherwise.  

I feel you , but are there families without toxic motherfuckers?  A therapist I knew said there were 5 functional families in the whole country so I guess us messed up families are the norm sadly. My in-laws keep arguing that all this is unnecessary and my spouse keeps yelling at them. Doesn't seem to phase them one bit but at least they live 2 hours away, yay for actual distancing.

Edited May 13, 2020 by Chicklet

[SunnyBeBe]

Personally, I don't need to apologize to anyone for using good judgment when  protecting my life.  It's OTHERS who are placing ME  at risk who need to be apologizing.  They may feel so cool, but, to me, they appear to be selfish,  maskless space invaders.  If only they were the ones who are affected, I could accept it easier, but, it's not.  They can be asymptomatic and give to others.  

It really hit close to home today, when I learned that a friend of our family, who works in a long term care facility, who is around 48 years old, is sick with covid and fighting for her life, having been transferred to a major hospital for care.  Her sister has it too!  She was perfectly healthy, before this.  Just doing her job and going to work.  NC shows the numbers of the long term care facilities that have cases and there were only a couple in the place she worked.  I really hope she recovers.......No, I'm not letting my guard down. 

Edited May 13, 2020 by SunnyBeBe

[GeeGolly]

There's only a few categories to fall in:

Very careful and following guidelines

Don't think they'll get it and don't follow guidelines

Think they'll survive it and don't follow guidelines

IMO, the last two are just wishful thinking.

[crazy8s]

I am dealing with this issue in a different way.

My dad became very ill - non covid. went in the hospital saturday. gangrenous gall bladder removed monday. he is in ICU today and stable. stepmom, who I get along very well has things under control, for the most part, and when frustrated on getting info from the hospital has me call. that has worked well.

They are in florida, sister from michigan proclaims she will fly down and help care for him when he comes home and quarantine when she returns to Michigan. I asked if if would not be more important to quarantine on the forida end after airports and flying, since dad will be weak when/if he comes home..... stepmom has decided for safety she doesn't want sister to come, doesn't want to offend and will I sort there

sister is a martyr likes to blog her heroic efforts

there goes the rest of my day.

Edited May 13, 2020 by crazy8s

[Oldernowiser]

Ugh, crazy8s, that sounds messy. I have a Facebook Drama Vulture in my extended family, too...it’s tough to manage sometimes.

Maybe you could get her to agree first that protecting your father’s health is the most important thing, first? Then go on from there.

Can you get his doctor to weigh in? I would think that virus avoidance would be part of discharge instructions these days?

Hell, lie if you have to. “His doctor says strictly no visitors for the foreseeable future.” The end.

Given that Michigan got clobbered, you’re right in that she would need to self-quarantine for two weeks after she arrived in Florida, anyway. 

Humans. We are one complicated species.
 

Edited May 13, 2020 by Oldernowiser

[SunnyBeBe]

1 hour ago, crazy8s said:

I am dealing with this issue in a different way.

My dad became very ill - non covid. went in the hospital saturday. gangrenous gall bladder removed monday. he is in ICU today and stable. stepmom, who I get along very well has things under control, for the most part, and when frustrated on getting info from the hospital has me call. that has worked well.

They are in florida, sister from michigan proclaims she will fly down and help care for him when he comes home and quarantine when she returns to Michigan. I asked if if would not be more important to quarantine on the forida end after airports and flying, since dad will be weak when/if he comes home..... stepmom has decided for safety she doesn't want sister to come, doesn't want to offend and will I sort there

sister is a martyr likes to blog her heroic efforts

there goes the rest of my day.

So sorry about your dad.  I hope he has a speedy recovery.  

I will preface this by saying that I have never had a step parent, so, I can't presume anything about that, HOWEVER, if a person planned to FLY across the country and then walk in to provide care for my recently operated on senior father..........Well, I'll just say that I would tell her point blank, that's not going to happen. I'd consider the options, like someone who has self quaranteened, who hasn't been traveling by plane or home health aids.  That normally follows hospital stay. Is that safer than step mom's sister?  Can step mom do it alone?   It's a lot to consider.  I do feel for you.  What a tough decision.   

Edited May 13, 2020 by SunnyBeBe

[doodlebug]

14 hours ago, jcbrown said:

I totally shrieked when I saw this news earlier today.

I'll be happy to watch virtually with you.  I love this show!!!

 

14 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

I'm especially close to one of the nephews, but I don't think telling him that he's bring reckless would be a good idea. He's old enough to know better, but young enough to not think this affects him. I just can't believe that their step grandfather is allowing the visit. I've never really liked the guy, but I don't wish the virus on him.

I think you flat out tell him that you really love him, but you just don't feel comfortable getting together in the midst of this mess.  You don't have to comment on his choices, he's a grown-up, he can do what he wants to do.  But, you're a grown up too, and you get t decide what works and what doesn't for you.

[Christina87]

12 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

So do I. There's still a lot of people dying. The virus hasn't really shown much sign that its going down or has gone away. It really disturbs me how many people act like 80,000 plus people dead is no big deal or that we need to accept people dying in order to get back to work, hair cuts, movies and the beach. I really fear all opening up is going to do is spread the virus even faster and more out of control then now. More people are going to die that didn't have too. 

I agree! My state loosened restrictions on Friday, and cases in our county have gone WAY up this week. It’s ridiculous how hateful the “my rights!” crowd always is, too. They love to write things on Facebook like, “u can stay locked up inside but I ain’t stupid r we gonna stay inside 4 the flu n what about H1N1? R we gonna just hide from everything? No I ain’t got time to stay locked up u can if u r gonna let fear rule ur life u do u but don’t ruin it 4 the rest of us. How many people have 2 loose they’re jobs 2 make u feel safe? If a few people die who cares people die from the flu every year n probably more people died during wwii. I need sum sunshine n fresh air n I will go to the damn mall to get it! I ain’t wearin no mask either I could suffocate n die if u think a mask is helping u then u r dumb.”

[SunnyBeBe]

NC has a 5 day update on its continued restrictions, with some allowances.  It's pretty good.  We are in stage I of the plan, but most restrictions are still in place.  They will be continuous analysis of the numbers to see if opening up makes sense. If the numbers go bad, we back up.

My cousin's hospice social worker really helps me a lot. We speak each week, along with the chaplain about things, since we can't meet at the Memory Care facility right now.  She said that the covid situation has caused a lot of people to suffer such loss that it's like GRIEF.  And, they are in the DENIAL phase.  This makes sense. Denial would explain it.  It's sad, but, deadly.  

[Oldernowiser]

3 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

There's only a few categories to fall in:

Very careful and following guidelines

Don't think they'll get it and don't follow guidelines

Think they'll survive it and don't follow guidelines

IMO, the last two are just wishful thinking.

In a way, I wish they’d include this as part of the hospital triage guidelines:

”Did you wear a mask and practice social distancing? No? Back of the line, pal. See you in about six hours, if it slows down a bit.”

[Oldernowiser]

28 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

I need sum sunshine n fresh air n I will go to the damn mall to get it!

That whole thing was hysterical and sad and so true...but this was my favorite part.

🤣

[SunnyBeBe]

6 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

In a way, I wish they’d include this as part of the hospital triage guidelines:

”Did you wear a mask and practice social distancing? No? Back of the line, pal. See you in about six hours, if it slows down a bit.”

I know. There's no way to tell though.  The careful, law abiding have to suffer with the rest....ain't fair, but, I've learned that life is not.  

I have finally accepted that covid will arrive to my cousin's Memory Care facility.  I've been optimistic about it, because, it's small, rural county, very careful staff, PPE, taking temperatures, etc., but, I think it will happen.  I checked the numbers for positive cases for the facility where our family friend works and it's unreal.  It's a small facility too, but, they have 16 STAFF members who are positive.  Our family friend is one of them.  That number was small a day ago.  Eleven residents are positive. None have died yet.  This place is in an adjacent county to where my cousin is.  It's finally hit me that it's inevitable.  I think it will happen.  At least I have time to adjust to the prospect.  I guess I've been in my own realm of denial.  

[crazy8s]

1 hour ago, Oldernowiser said:

Ugh, crazy8s, that sounds messy. I have a Facebook Drama Vulture in my extended family, too...it’s tough to manage sometimes.

Maybe you could get her to agree first that protecting your father’s health is the most important thing, first? Then go on from there.

Can you get his doctor to weigh in? I would think that virus avoidance would be part of discharge instructions these days?

Hell, lie if you have to. “His doctor says strictly no visitors for the foreseeable future.” The end.

Given that Michigan got clobbered, you’re right in that she would need to self-quarantine for two weeks after she arrived in Florida, anyway. 

Humans. We are one complicated species.
 

i planted the seeds on a text message yesterday to brother and sister "is this what step mom wants or needs?" they have neighbors to support/buy groceries etc. stepmom is internet wise, knows how to get things delivered. I gave stepmom an out.  ask the hospital if that would be safe. make them the bad guy. or i will be the bad guy with my sister  do not care. I will call her husband to block he if needed.

sister has likes heroic blog posts for her "followers" she is anorexic has had half her liver and gallbladder removed in the last 6 months

 

[laurakaye]

Regarding Hamilton.....

Complete Hamilton virgin here.  Have never seen it, don't know the songs, but I know the hype is massive and I am super curious.  What is it about this particular musical that has everyone so geeked?  I want to watch to find out what all the fuss is about!

[Oldernowiser]

11 minutes ago, crazy8s said:

sister has likes heroic blog posts for her "followers" she is anorexic has had half her liver and gallbladder removed in the last 6 months

Maybe that’s the card you play? “As heroic and selfless as you are to volunteer, with your delicate health it’s a risk no one in the family wants you to take. We’d never forgive ourselves if you got sick.”

If she persists...

A subtle reminder

 

[crazy8s]

30 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

Maybe that’s the card you play? “As heroic and selfless as you are to volunteer, with your delicate health it’s a risk no one in the family wants you to take. We’d never forgive ourselves if you got sick.”

If she persists...

A subtle reminder

 

just talked to my dad's nurse who held the phone up for dad to talk - Dad had no idea who I was, couldn't really speak. he has many, many health issues.

nurse says we are trying to gauge his awareness - nothing there. has been a slippery slope since january. he is failing.

side note - i hate calling his wife of 30+ yrs stepmom, as i was married and had a child when they married (our son was ring bearer in the wedding) . we were happy for them. our son was the first grandchild, we set the standard the grands would call her grandma. it stuck 😀

I always flail for another term. we are great together as friends, but in this situation that doesn't fit either.

 

[Ohiopirate02]

1 hour ago, laurakaye said:

Regarding Hamilton.....

Complete Hamilton virgin here.  Have never seen it, don't know the songs, but I know the hype is massive and I am super curious.  What is it about this particular musical that has everyone so geeked?  I want to watch to find out what all the fuss is about!

I love Hamilton because I can see how genius it is.  Taking established white American history and fusing it with hip-hop culture breaths fresh life into its subjects.  Casting POC in what should be these white roles brings together people from all walks of life and shows us how we are all connected.  But, even if you are not a listener of hip hop or rap, you are not left out.  I can't fully explain the level of genius present in the book, and the original cast is so talented.  I recommend reading Hamilton, The Revolution which contains the book with footnotes to fully explain, and backstory to the creation of it.  

[GeeGolly]

34 minutes ago, crazy8s said:

just talked to my dad's nurse who held the phone up for dad to talk - Dad had no idea who I was, couldn't really speak. he has many, many health issues.

nurse says we are trying to gauge his awareness - nothing there. has been a slippery slope since january. he is failing.

side note - i hate calling his wife of 30+ yrs stepmom, as i was married and had a child when they married (our son was ring bearer in the wedding) . we were happy for them. our son was the first grandchild, we set the standard the grands would call her grandma. it stuck 😀

I always flail for another term. we are great together as friends, but in this situation that doesn't fit either.

 

My FIL married later in life. I always referred to her as my FIL's wife. My husband would say his dad's wife.

[EVS]

I think I am close to losing a couple 40+ year friendships over the social distancing issue.
 

Our state is still on lockdown except for essential workers. I have a couple childhood friends who are married to each other. They are not social distancing at all. They have a large group of friends and family that are also not social distancing. The wife uses every ignorant justification to prove that they are right and I am paranoid even though I am currently in cancer treatment.
 

Among my favorites: “It doesn’t matter if we get it, the only people that die are old, sick, fat, or black.” (She does acknowledge and feel badly for essential workers have died.  I told her about @ChiCricket’s nephew. They do wear masks and gloves when they go to the store.) Also: “Less people are dying in gang shootings and car accidents (because of the rules she refuses to follow) so it balances out.”

I honestly have no desire to talk to her and listen to these  justifications and hear all about the places they have gone and people they have seen while my family hasn’t left the house for over 6 weeks except for my cancer treatment. I’ve let her know my feelings, but she has always been a “know it all” and very judgmental. She is a good friend though in that she has always been there for me when I’ve needed a friend, support etc.

I finally just told her that I guess every person needs to decide what level of risk they are willing to take as long as they don’t put others at risk. She responded that it just depends on if people want to live their lives in fear.  (She thinks the whole pandemic is being exaggerated since she only knows one person that got it and that woman’s husband works in a hospital.)

Here’s the best part:  Her husband is a DOCTOR! He is semi-retired from private practice and not practicing during the pandemic. He apparently feels the same way as she does. I just don’t get it. 

Sorry this is so long. Thank you for letting me vent!

[jcbrown]

2 hours ago, laurakaye said:

Regarding Hamilton.....

Complete Hamilton virgin here.  Have never seen it, don't know the songs, but I know the hype is massive and I am super curious.  What is it about this particular musical that has everyone so geeked?  I want to watch to find out what all the fuss is about!

I would recommend listening to the soundtrack before you see it. There is a LOT to it and it goes FAST.

37 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I love Hamilton because I can see how genius it is.  Taking established white American history and fusing it with hip-hop culture breaths fresh life into its subjects.  Casting POC in what should be these white roles brings together people from all walks of life and shows us how we are all connected.  But, even if you are not a listener of hip hop or rap, you are not left out.  I can't fully explain the level of genius present in the book, and the original cast is so talented.  I recommend reading Hamilton, The Revolution which contains the book with footnotes to fully explain, and backstory to the creation of it.  

Yes, I would also recommend Hamilton, The Revolution.

[Ohiopirate02]

6 minutes ago, EVS said:

I think I am close to losing a couple 40+ year friendships over the social distancing issue.
 

Our state is still on lockdown except for essential workers. I have a couple childhood friends who are married to each other. They are not social distancing at all. They have a large group of friends and family that are also not social distancing. The wife uses every ignorant justification to prove that they are right and I am paranoid even though I am currently in cancer treatment.
 

Among my favorites: “It doesn’t matter if we get it, the only people that die are old, sick, fat, or black.” (She does acknowledge and feel badly for essential workers have died.  I told her about @ChiCricket’s nephew. They do wear masks and gloves when they go to the store.) Also: “Less people are dying in gang shootings and car accidents (because of the rules she refuses to follow) so it balances out.”

I honestly have no desire to talk to her and listen to these  justifications and hear all about the places they have gone and people they have seen while my family hasn’t left the house for over 6 weeks except for my cancer treatment. I’ve let her know my feelings, but she has always been a “know it all” and very judgmental. She is a good friend though in that she has always been there for me when I’ve needed a friend, support etc.

I finally just told her that I guess every person needs to decide what level of risk they are willing to take as long as they don’t put others at risk. She responded that it just depends on if people want to live their lives in fear.  (She thinks the whole pandemic is being exaggerated since she only knows one person that got it and that woman’s husband works in a hospital.)

Here’s the best part:  Her husband is a DOCTOR! He is semi-retired from private practice and not practicing during the pandemic. He apparently feels the same way as she does. I just don’t get it. 

Sorry this is so long. Thank you for letting me vent!

Vent away.  I will say that just because someone is a medical doctor, doesn't mean he or she understands how this virus works.  Or any healthcare worker for that matter.  My conspiracy theorist cousin posted something on Facebook the other day from a surgeon saying masks don't work.  I held my tongue, but wanted to point out a surgeon is a surgeon not an epidemiologist.  Dude needs to stay in his lane.  Even a family physician doesn't have the knowledge to understand how this virus is different from influenza B or H1N1.  

Speaking of H1N1, I was a pharmacy technician when that one hit.  I remember the rush to produce the vaccine at the expense of the regular flu vaccine.  I also remember how we had to collect data from each person who came in for the vaccine and fax it to the CDC because of the rush to production.  The later stage clinical trials were done on the vaccine and our patients were unknowing participants in the trial.  We did not publicize this information.  

[SunnyBeBe]

28 minutes ago, EVS said:

I think I am close to losing a couple 40+ year friendships over the social distancing issue.
 

Our state is still on lockdown except for essential workers. I have a couple childhood friends who are married to each other. They are not social distancing at all. They have a large group of friends and family that are also not social distancing. The wife uses every ignorant justification to prove that they are right and I am paranoid even though I am currently in cancer treatment.
 

Among my favorites: “It doesn’t matter if we get it, the only people that die are old, sick, fat, or black.” (She does acknowledge and feel badly for essential workers have died.  I told her about @ChiCricket’s nephew. They do wear masks and gloves when they go to the store.) Also: “Less people are dying in gang shootings and car accidents (because of the rules she refuses to follow) so it balances out.”

I honestly have no desire to talk to her and listen to these  justifications and hear all about the places they have gone and people they have seen while my family hasn’t left the house for over 6 weeks except for my cancer treatment. I’ve let her know my feelings, but she has always been a “know it all” and very judgmental. She is a good friend though in that she has always been there for me when I’ve needed a friend, support etc.

I finally just told her that I guess every person needs to decide what level of risk they are willing to take as long as they don’t put others at risk. She responded that it just depends on if people want to live their lives in fear.  (She thinks the whole pandemic is being exaggerated since she only knows one person that got it and that woman’s husband works in a hospital.)

Here’s the best part:  Her husband is a DOCTOR! He is semi-retired from private practice and not practicing during the pandemic. He apparently feels the same way as she does. I just don’t get it. 

Sorry this is so long. Thank you for letting me vent!

Hang in there.  You have support. That's for sure. Being in cancer treatment, you should have HUGE support from all who are aware.  They need to have your back here.  I've already upset a few people in my family and members of the public.. No doubt, there's more to come.  I don't relish it, but, it's a mater of survival.  My desire to live through this pandemic is great, even though, some seem not to care.  My mantra is that I will live and will have joy.  Here's a very inspiring video that I saw and OH, yeah.  I have been listening to rainfall sound at night from a download on my ipad.  It's really helping me stay asleep.  I haven't tossed nearly as much!  

I really felt different after watching this!

 

Edited May 13, 2020 by SunnyBeBe

[EVS]

6 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

Vent away.  I will say that just because someone is a medical doctor, doesn't mean he or she understands how this virus works.  Or any healthcare worker for that matter.  My conspiracy theorist cousin posted something on Facebook the other day from a surgeon saying masks don't work.  I held my tongue, but wanted to point out a surgeon is a surgeon not an epidemiologist.  Dude needs to stay in his lane.  Even a family physician doesn't have the knowledge to understand how this virus is different from influenza B or H1N1.  

Speaking of H1N1, I was a pharmacy technician when that one hit.  I remember the rush to produce the vaccine at the expense of the regular flu vaccine.  I also remember how we had to collect data from each person who came in for the vaccine and fax it to the CDC because of the rush to production.  The later stage clinical trials were done on the vaccine and our patients were unknowing participants in the trial.  We did not publicize this information.  

Thank you. Your H1N1 information was very interesting. 
 

The husband in my post was a family physician. I guess I expected  that he would educate himself about the virus, or at least trust the experts. He is one of the smartest people I know, so I am more surprised by his beliefs than his wife’s. 
 

[DkNNy79]

28 minutes ago, EVS said:

Among my favorites: “It doesn’t matter if we get it, the only people that die are old, sick, fat, or black.” (She does acknowledge and feel badly for essential workers have died.  I told her about @ChiCricket’s nephew. They do wear masks and gloves when they go to the store.) Also: “Less people are dying in gang shootings and car accidents (because of the rules she refuses to follow) so it balances out.”

 

Wow, just wow.

Also, there are cases of perfectly healthy people dying or going through horrible complications from COVID (see Broadway star Nick Cordero).  It seems like you just don't know how severe the case can be or how your body will react.

[Chicklet]

And when the vaccine is available there will be the anti-vax disinformation to try and convince people it's not worth it or dangerous. I think those people should sign a waiver to not accept medical care should they contract the virus. Also insurance companies should deny coverage if they don't vaccinate. There are enough people out there who cannot vaccinate for honest reasons. Tough stance but it might convince some of them.

[EVS]

1 minute ago, DkNNy79 said:

Wow, just wow.

Also, there are cases of perfectly healthy people dying or going through horrible complications from COVID (see Broadway star Nick Cordero).  It seems like you just don't know how severe the case can be or how your body will react.

I told her that as well. Also, we don’t know the long-term damage, etc. Didn’t make a difference. I give up. 

[SunnyBeBe]

9 minutes ago, DkNNy79 said:

Wow, just wow.

Also, there are cases of perfectly healthy people dying or going through horrible complications from COVID (see Broadway star Nick Cordero).  It seems like you just don't know how severe the case can be or how your body will react.

Yeah, I don't know how people who have a phone in the hand or computer in front of them don't see the actual young people who are being killed by it.  And, now there is the new inflammation syndrome from covid that is striking children.  It causes red rash over the body and damages the heart.  It's one more layer to this demon of a virus. 

https://www.nbcboston.com/news/local/multiple-children-in-mass-sickened-by-deadly-coronavirus-related-illness/2122783/

 

Edited May 13, 2020 by SunnyBeBe

[EVS]

12 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Hang in there.  You have support. That's for sure. Being in cancer treatment, you should have HUGE support from all who are aware.  They need to have your back here.  I've already upset a few people in my family and members of the public.. No doubt, there's more to come.  I don't relish it, but, it's a mater of survival.  My desire to live through this pandemic is great, even though, some seem not to care.  My mantra is that I will live and will have joy.  Here's a very inspiring video that I saw and OH, yeah.  I have been listening to rainfall sound at night from a download on my ipad.  It's really helping me stay asleep.  I haven't tossed nearly as much!  

I really felt different after watching this!

 

Thank you. I watched part of that video. It was beautiful and very peaceful. Just what we all need right now. I am looking forward to watching the entire thing. 

[Chicklet]

Also the damage done after the virus goes, there is an opera singer in NY who can no longer sing due to the lung damage she sustained from the virus. People are just scared and in denial. And that's dangerous.

[EVS]

1 minute ago, Chicklet said:

Also the damage done after the virus goes, there is an opera singer in NY who can no longer sing due to the lung damage she sustained from the virus. People are just scared and in denial. And that's dangerous.

I think some people might be scared and in denial, but I think my friends are just selfish and don’t want to inconvenience themselves or change their lifestyle. 

[Sew Sumi]

1 minute ago, EVS said:

I think some people might be scared and in denial, but I think my friends are just selfish and don’t want to inconvenience themselves or change their lifestyle. 

Bingo! 

[Suzn]

40 minutes ago, EVS said:

Among my favorites: “It doesn’t matter if we get it, the only people that die are old, sick, fat, or black.” (She does acknowledge and feel badly for essential workers have died.  I told her about @ChiCricket’s nephew. They do wear masks and gloves when they go to the store.) Also: “Less people are dying in gang shootings and car accidents (because of the rules she refuses to follow) so it balances out.”

 

This is sickening.  So it's quite alright with her that the old, sick, fat or black die?  I don't know what to say other than that this is shockingly cruel.

[SunnyBeBe]

Look for the turtle!  It's in one scene.  I'm so jealous of that turtle! 

[Chicklet]

I'm sorry your friends care so little, EVS. Politics and now this virus are killing relationships of all kinds. I always hoped human beings would be better than this. 

[Oldernowiser]

45 minutes ago, EVS said:

Among my favorites: “It doesn’t matter if we get it, the only people that die are old, sick, fat, or black.”

That’s some world-class assholery. So it’s supposed to be okay to spread contagion because of that???

I’d drop that sizest, ageist, rascist, elitest individual like a hot rock.

SMDH.

[doodlebug]

2 hours ago, laurakaye said:

Regarding Hamilton.....

Complete Hamilton virgin here.  Have never seen it, don't know the songs, but I know the hype is massive and I am super curious.  What is it about this particular musical that has everyone so geeked?  I want to watch to find out what all the fuss is about!

As noted above, Hamilton is an ingenious celebration of US history and the role immigrants have played in it.  Lin Manuel Miranda is truly brilliant.  The music is hummable, the lyrics are biting, funny, heartrending.  Miranda blends the best of Broadway show tunes with hip hop, pop, jazz and other genres; and the show deliberately celebrates diversity as the main cast members, all historical figures, are played by people of African, Asian and Hispanic descent.

In addition, quite frankly, Alexander Hamilton lead an amazing life and, due to multiple factors, he never really got his due as a founding father (at least in part because he was a feisty, argumentative guy and the founding fathers who survived him just didn't much like him).  But he was a genius, almost completely self made; and, an immigrant to boot.The guy essentially built the US Treasury system, Wall Street, the Coast Guard, and wrote most of the Federalist Papers in support of the US Constitution.  He also only lived 47 years, was married and had a bunch of kids.  The show is based on a biography of Hamilton by Ronald Chernow.  As I read it, I kept thinking, 'how is it that I don't know anything about this guy except the duel?'. If Hamilton's life were fiction, no one would believe it.

In short, a terrific story, well told, accompanied by great music.  That's what all the fuss is about.

Edited May 13, 2020 by doodlebug

[EVS]

4 minutes ago, Suzn said:

This is sickening.  So it's quite alright with her that the old, sick, fat or black die?  I don't know what to say other than that this is shockingly cruel.

Especially to say to me since I am both fat and sick. But yes, she genuinely believes that. She has always been racist. I can’t even fathom remaining friends with her after hearing comments like this. It breaks my heart though because I love her kids. They are like nieces and nephews to me. Of course I will try to maintain a relationship with them, but it will be more difficult. 

[emma675]

11 minutes ago, Suzn said:

This is sickening.  So it's quite alright with her that the old, sick, fat or black die?  I don't know what to say other than that this is shockingly cruel.

Ditto. EVS, I hope you're not offended by this, but I don't think you're losing much if you lose this friend.