Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Zella]

5 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

The crying sports broadcasters here are hilarious. I amused myself with some local shows before Howard's End came on at 8. 😁

That sounds like the reaction most Razorbacks games have sparked lately. My not watching the Hogs has not improved their gameplay one iota. 😆

[BetyBee]

I actually watched the whole game! I wanted to see all the commercials, because one was filmed in my town. One thing I enjoyed about the game ties in with my giving up Facebook. I didn't have to suffer through my brothers and my cousins endlessly posting one word comments in those big colorful squares! It was heavenly! I love my sibs and FB has put me in more frequent touch with my cousins, but during baseball, basketball, hockey and football (so basically all the time), it's too much! Anyway, my husband and I watched the whole thing together and it was very pleasant, especially the exciting 4th quarter! 

@ChiCricket if you want to share, I'm curious as to what the shocking DNA info is that you just received!  I know I've hesitated to have mine done because I would not be shocked to learn that I have half siblings in the world and I'm not sure I want to know. My Dad was a bit of a player.  

[Minivanessa]

@BetyBee, I also like Facebook because it helps me keep up with cousins who live in a different state - and heck, some who live in this area. I also enjoy photography-related Facebook posts. 

But I'm not nearly as active on FB as I used to be. So far I've decided to keep the account, but over the last few years I've made good use of the "mute" or "unfollow" feature. It lets you remain friends with someone, but not have their posts appear on your timeline.

In my case I've used it for people who spew ridiculous and offensive - and often false - political stuff on FB. Or too many posts about nothing worth noting. I don't unfriend them if I'd like to be able to check in when something actually happens, or there's an event, etc.

Now and then I go through my friends and un-friend people. Often they are folks I've met through one of my hobbies and though we may have had a pleasant enough time on those occasions I just don't need to stay connected with them on Facebook. 

I know what you mean about those sports posts, and it would drive me nuts to have a lot of that on my FB feed! I'm lucky because there's only one guy who tends to do that, and he doesn't do it too often anymore.

I confess to being a football fan, but I wasn't glued to the TV for the Super Bowl yesterday. I'm glad the Chiefs won, and I'm glad I set the DVR to record the game. I wanna sit down and watch that fourth quarter comeback, most of which I missed watching as it happened. 

Edited February 3, 2020 by Jeeves
clarity. it helps.

[BetyBee]

1 hour ago, Jeeves said:

@BetyBee, I also like Facebook because it helps me keep up with cousins who live in a different state - and heck, some who live in this area. I also enjoy photography-related Facebook posts. 

But I'm not nearly as active on FB as I used to be. So far I've decided to keep the account, but over the last few years I've made good use of the "mute" or "unfollow" feature. It lets you remain friends with someone, but not have their posts appear on your timeline.

In my case I've used it for people who spew ridiculous and offensive - and often false - political stuff on FB. Or too many posts about nothing worth noting. I don't unfriend them if I'd like to be able to check in when something actually happens, or there's an event, etc.

Now and then I go through my friends and un-friend people. Often they are folks I've met through one of my hobbies and though we may have had a pleasant enough time on those occasions I just don't need to stay connected with them on Facebook. 

I know what you mean about those sports posts, and it would drive me nuts to have a lot of that on my FB feed! I'm lucky because there's only one guy who tends to do that, and he doesn't do it too often anymore.

I confess to being a football fan, but I wasn't glued to the TV for the Super Bowl yesterday. I'm glad the Chiefs won, and I'm glad I set the DVR to record the game. I wanna sit down and watch that fourth quarter comeback, most of which I missed watching as it happened. 

Thanks, Jeeves!  Though I complained about my relatives' sports posts, that's only mildly annoying to me. It's my newsfeed that riles me lately, and the fact that Zuckerberg has no problem accepting false or misleading ads. I really disapprove of that guy and I don' like enriching him.  I don't know what I'll ultimately do, but for now, I need a break.  I have been known to quietly unfriend people. I truly think I was happier when I had about 60 friends. I have about 3X that many and it's too much. 

[galaxychaser]

12 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

I wonder if it was as shocking as what I found out from a 23 and Me DNA test I was gifted for the holidays? I just got the results back this week.

Ummm now I’m in suspense. 

[galaxychaser]

Funny titles for Christian music 

https://www.vintag.es/2020/01/bad-christian-album-titles.html?fbclid=IwAR0Qhwf4STjiRglvYoG1UuoBSgezLWPwHAwd33fZ-UqnLOQoCsXLHGwJk3E&m=1

[Love2dance]

Good to see you back, @ChiCricket.

[ChiCricket]

18 hours ago, BetyBee said:

 

@ChiCricket if you want to share, I'm curious as to what the shocking DNA info is that you just received!  I know I've hesitated to have mine done because I would not be shocked to learn that I have half siblings in the world and I'm not sure I want to know. My Dad was a bit of a player.  

 

14 hours ago, galaxychaser said:

Ummm now I’m in suspense. 

Ok, you both twisted my arm (I'm actually dying to talk about it)😊

  I am one of 7 children. There were ALWAYS arguments between my mother and father. Nothing physical, ever, but man oh man was there verbal abuse (especially when they drank to excess) My mom would get very loud, my dad could kill you with disdain and sarcasm. Divorce was so frowned on back then (especially by their strict Lutheran parents) Otherwise I think they would have (should have) gotten divorced.

So.

I was very much a daddy's girl...but it was very heavily implied that he had a roaming eye and a way with the ladies (I was shy and quiet and sneaky and listened to adult conversations all the time.)

So in my mind before I did the test (at my kids urging) I figured ,

OK, prepare yourself to have at least one ½ sibling out there.

BINGO.  I have a half sibling.

But.

It's MY older brother , who is four years older than me and has always been raised  WITH ME as a FULL brother, who is IN REALITY a HALF brother..MY dad is NOT his bio dad!!

So..my MOM had an affair!  I am beyond shocked. I'm still having trouble processing it.  He'll always just be my brother for gosh sakes. I'm 67 and he's 71. His daughter, who according to 23andMe is my half niece😭 doesn't want anyone to tell her dad, and we're respecting her wishes. But I'm not sure..what do you all think?!

My niece started this whole thing by doing a 23 and me DNA test, (because her young son got diagnosed with Crohn's disease, and she wanted to know if it was genetic.) 

She  saw on the results that she was ½ ashkenazi Jewish ancestry, so she shared that with our (closed)family group on facebook, and said " it is genetic, it does run in the family." Everyone was sad to hear that it ran in the family, but everyone was also intrigued about the Jewish connection. My daughter said "see? I'm just going back to my roots! " (she converted) 

BUT.

Then my nephew finally saw the post....

Turns out  he, who is my other brother's son (is your head spinning yet?😂) had also done the SAME 23andMe test, and said " WAIT a minute! How can that be? We're first cousins and I got 0% Jewish on mine!"  Dun dun DUN!

Fast forward to this December when I was "gifted" the DNA test and got the results that I did...and now I'm side-eyeing the rest of my siblings....kidding! (Not really)😂

PS it only shows people who have submitted 23and ME DNA though...so my dad could have been really playing around too for all I know.

PPS I have SO many questions!! 

[Love2dance]

@ChiCricket, I know of at least four women my dad had affairs with while married to my mom, and these are just the ones I KNOW. So I can only imagine that I probably have some half siblings out there, too. Like you, not sure I’d want to  know at this point. 
Your head must be spinning.

Since you asked, my opinion is you don’t tell your brother. Nothing to be gained at this point.

Edited February 4, 2020 by Love2dance

[BetyBee]

@ChiCricket - Wow! You may be one of my 1/2 siblings, lol.  Just kidding, but our stories are similar, right down to the Lutheran connection and being one of 7.  I love the sibs I grew up with and in my mid 60s, I don't think I want any new information. However, since people in your family know and are talking about it, I wonder if your older brother will be hurt if he finds out that the people he loves knew and didn't share the information? In any case, he is fully your brother, DNA be damned! Your story has helped me to confirm that I don't want to have one of those tests. I listen to the Family Secrets podcast and every story is the same, very much like your brother's story. 

Edited February 4, 2020 by BetyBee
ETA: Thank you for sharing this story, @ChiCricket!

[SunnyBeBe]

I think that there are many family secrets. Some things you can make better and some you can't.  I'd try to follow that as a guide. 

I'd like to remind everyone to be very careful with online communications.I hate to see really good people get caught up in horrific online situations that wreaks havoc on their lives, especially, married couples.  (I'm not talking about sites like this one.) There are laws to protect people, but, they are limited. Many people are taken in every day by scammers and extortionists. Their cruelty can really destroy lives. It's just heartbreaking.  I've often heard not to put anything on your phone that you wouldn't mind your mom seeing.   

Edited February 4, 2020 by SunnyBeBe

[Rabbittron]

What a wonderful day  I have  8 inches of snow and it's still  snowing  boytron woke me up  and  said because I am sick that he  will make dinner.  I  said thanks  and told him that chili sounds good he said no I have something else in mind. I  came down stairs to let the dogs out and went to see the mess in the kitchen  from him making dinner.  No mess all clean and a pot roast in the crockpot  for dinner.

[zoomama]

8 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

 

Ok, you both twisted my arm (I'm actually dying to talk about it)😊

  I am one of 7 children. There were ALWAYS arguments between my mother and father. Nothing physical, ever, but man oh man was there verbal abuse (especially when they drank to excess) My mom would get very loud, my dad could kill you with disdain and sarcasm. Divorce was so frowned on back then (especially by their strict Lutheran parents) Otherwise I think they would have (should have) gotten divorced.

So.

I was very much a daddy's girl...but it was very heavily implied that he had a roaming eye and a way with the ladies (I was shy and quiet and sneaky and listened to adult conversations all the time.)

So in my mind before I did the test (at my kids urging) I figured ,

OK, prepare yourself to have at least one ½ sibling out there.

BINGO.  I have a half sibling.

But.

It's MY older brother , who is four years older than me and has always been raised  WITH ME as a FULL brother, who is IN REALITY a HALF brother..MY dad is NOT his bio dad!!

So..my MOM had an affair!  I am beyond shocked. I'm still having trouble processing it.  He'll always just be my brother for gosh sakes. I'm 67 and he's 71. His daughter, who according to 23andMe is my half niece😭 doesn't want anyone to tell her dad, and we're respecting her wishes. But I'm not sure..what do you all think?!

My niece started this whole thing by doing a 23 and me DNA test, (because her young son got diagnosed with Crohn's disease, and she wanted to know if it was genetic.) 

She  saw on the results that she was ½ ashkenazi Jewish ancestry, so she shared that with our (closed)family group on facebook, and said " it is genetic, it does run in the family." Everyone was sad to hear that it ran in the family, but everyone was also intrigued about the Jewish connection. My daughter said "see? I'm just going back to my roots! " (she converted) 

BUT.

Then my nephew finally saw the post....

Turns out  he, who is my other brother's son (is your head spinning yet?😂) had also done the SAME 23andMe test, and said " WAIT a minute! How can that be? We're first cousins and I got 0% Jewish on mine!"  Dun dun DUN!

Fast forward to this December when I was "gifted" the DNA test and got the results that I did...and now I'm side-eyeing the rest of my siblings....kidding! (Not really)😂

PS it only shows people who have submitted 23and ME DNA though...so my dad could have been really playing around too for all I know.

PPS I have SO many questions!! 

there is so much to learn with dna testing. it is my passion right now and i work it almost every day, searching for a particular person.  just as a helpful suggestion, there is a chart you can use to insert the % given on 23andme which will help you sort the relationships out. it is this:  https://dnapainter.com/tools/sharedcmv4

be sure to use the % option and not the 'cm' option - cm is for other test results like from ancestry.

 

[ChiCricket]

10 hours ago, BetyBee said:

@ChiCricket - Wow! You may be one of my 1/2 siblings, lol.  Just kidding, but our stories are similar, right down to the Lutheran connection and being one of 7.  I love the sibs I grew up with and in my mid 60s, I don't think I want any new information. However, since people in your family know and are talking about it, I wonder if your older brother will be hurt if he finds out that the people he loves knew and didn't share the information? 

Yeah, this is the part that's been keeping me up at night. We are very close.

But out of all the remaining siblings (our oldest sister has passed away) I'm the ONLY one who "does" the internet in any significant way. 

  So, all the cousins got together and decided that out of everyone, I could be trusted not to spill the beans to him if it turned out my dad wasn't his bio dad (lucky me.)

  On one hand, I'm very honored they all trusted me (they've all been talking this over for more than a year.)

I didn't know all this before, because it's a cousin only private group they were talking in. Their curiosity was killing them and they wanted to get an aunt or uncle tested "while they still could do it"  (I get it...we're all SO old to them!)💀 😂

 But on the other hand....   ::::::sigh::::::  

I now am keeping this huge secret from my 2 brothers and 3 remaining sisters, and I can't go back to not knowing it..kwim?

(I know I'm going on and on but I need to "talk" this out (feel free to scroll on by)😁

Thanks for being here to vent to.

Edited February 4, 2020 by ChiCricket

[BetyBee]

@ChiCricket, hang in there! You're really trying to do the right thing and that's admirable!  Your heart is definitely in the right place.  Sometimes we learn things that aren't really ours to share. This may be one of those situations. 

[zoomama]

38 minutes ago, ChiCricket said:

Yeah, this is the part that's been keeping me up at night. We are very close.

But out of all the remaining siblings (our oldest sister has passed away) I'm the ONLY one who "does" the internet in any significant way. 

  So, all the cousins got together and decided that out of everyone, I could be trusted not to spill the beans to him if it turned out my dad wasn't his bio dad (lucky me.)

  On one hand, I'm very honored they all trusted me (they've all been talking this over for more than a year.)

I didn't know all this before, because it's a cousin only private group they were talking in. Their curiosity was killing them and they wanted to get an aunt or uncle tested "while they still could do it"  (I get it...we're all SO old to them!)💀 😂

 But on the other hand....   ::::::sigh::::::  

I now am keeping this huge secret from my 2 brothers and 3 remaining sisters, and I can't go back to not knowing it..kwim?

(I know I'm going on and on but I need to "talk" this out (feel free to scroll on by)😁

Thanks for being here to vent to.

one thing to consider, i have learned, is that in the end people really want to know who they are.  i don't know how you will address it but the ball is in your court. in my genealogy groups this question has come up often and the common opinion is that the person in question DESERVES to know the truth about himself/herself.  even more, they deserve to know in a timely fashion for them to get answers to their questions before the other parties involved are dead. i know i would (and did) want to know. that all said, whatever you finally decide, i hope it will bring you peace.

[ChiCricket]

22 minutes ago, BetyBee said:

@ChiCricket, hang in there! You're really trying to do the right thing and that's admirable!  Your heart is definitely in the right place.  Sometimes we learn things that aren't really ours to share. This may be one of those situations. 

    I *think* I agree..if his own daughter doesn't think he would want to know, then who am I to tell him otherwise? I think it would only hurt him. I just don't KNOW.

    Even she was joking around at first in the new DNA group chat we made (which is basically just everyone who knows the results, so...all the cousins, and me.)

But then, she asked for an invite to be able to view my DNA profile online (and at the same time sent me an invite to view her dad's.)

She has the password to that, and has only shared with him what she wanted to, btw. 

He just thinks she did it for health reasons (as she did,originally) so he didn't ask any more questions.

So.

All light and fluffy and teasing in the group chat UNTIL she signed into MY chart, and it popped up that  I was her "half-aunt"...

She then typed "HALF-AUNT?!WTH!!" and then it must have really hit her because she posted 😭😭😭😭😭

(I'm her favorite aunt)

 Of course,  an oblivious cousin, with no dang empathy, typed "oh! So does that make you our HALF-COUSIN then!?" OMGosh, I wanted to reach through the screen and throttle her!😠 

Of course everyone else (especially me) said NO WAY..you'll ALWAYS be a FULL {family surname} to US..are you crazy???!!!..You're not getting away from us that easily! (And now I'm crying reliving this..my poor niece.)😢

I need to stop. I have to go pack because I have to go to Puerto Rico tomorrow.

 Maybe some time away from home will help give me some clarity on this.

PS my husband had his DNA done too (I'll post about that another day..maybe)

 

[Marshmallow Mollie]

@ChiCricket my parents divorced when I was really young, and my dad married my stepmother when I was three and her son was four. Then they had three children together. So I have, technically although we never differentiate, a stepbrother and three half-siblings. I spent most of my time with my mother in a different state. 

For me, there is a distance because I spent most of my time with my mother, so there is a lack of shared experiences. But I don’t feel any different from them because we aren’t all full siblings. And we are all closer as adults. My middle brother and I favor each other heavily, as do our children. I will note that my sister does draw a distinction between the full three and my older brother and me.

So, I wouldn’t tell the brother and I would leave it be. It’s really hard to be the odd one out. Maybe on some level he suspects. People get weird with that info. Like, what if someone refuses to give your niece a family heirloom because it’s from the dad’s family. I think there’s too much risk of stirring up unpleasantness for him and others. If he is curious, he certainly knows he can ask the daughter. 

That being said, wow! Sorry you’re going through all of this.

[Porkchop]

My ex-husband (of whom I was very fond, but couldn't live with) and I had our DNA done in about 2005. He died in 2011. About 2015, my daughter got a phone call, informing her that she had a half sister! So far this has been a pleasant surprise ... it seems my husband fathered a daughter when he was 16 and the girl was 15. He was never aware of the pregnancy. The girl named another boy as the father, and he proved that he wasn't. No one else was suggested, and the daughter grew up with a big family but no father. 

I have not been very involved with the new half-sister, (she lives far away) but it appears that both girls (ha, they are 66 and 54 years old!) are enjoying knowing each other. I think she has appreciated having pictures of her father and some items that he created and marked with his name. 

My mother never knew her father, and I had hopes (still ...) that I might find out something about that story through DNA.

 

 

[doodlebug]

21 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

Yeah, this is the part that's been keeping me up at night. We are very close.

But out of all the remaining siblings (our oldest sister has passed away) I'm the ONLY one who "does" the internet in any significant way. 

  So, all the cousins got together and decided that out of everyone, I could be trusted not to spill the beans to him if it turned out my dad wasn't his bio dad (lucky me.)

  On one hand, I'm very honored they all trusted me (they've all been talking this over for more than a year.)

I didn't know all this before, because it's a cousin only private group they were talking in. Their curiosity was killing them and they wanted to get an aunt or uncle tested "while they still could do it"  (I get it...we're all SO old to them!)💀 😂

 But on the other hand....   ::::::sigh::::::  

I now am keeping this huge secret from my 2 brothers and 3 remaining sisters, and I can't go back to not knowing it..kwim?

(I know I'm going on and on but I need to "talk" this out (feel free to scroll on by)😁

Thanks for being here to vent to.

I think that, since his daughter knows the truth and has access to all the information, it is up to her to decide who else needs to know.  I can understand how awkward and difficult it is to see your brother while knowing this important information that you don't feel comfortable sharing, but I am not sure you should open that can of worms especially if you know your brother well and don't feel he would be able to accept this news with equanimity.

[Jynnan tonnix]

  4 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Quote

 

I have fond memories of being careless and carefree, but I also have memories of my friend losing the skin off his chin from using a broken pogo stick, another friend having to learn to walk again after being hit by a car, getting off a school bus. before the stop signs and lights were on them, my brother stepping on a rusty nail barefoot and needing a tetanus shot, a friend's mother losing an eyeball in a car accident before seat belts, my brother's friend ending up with a TBI after wiping out on his motorcycle riding in a neighboring state, with no helmet laws. And tragically two local(ish) kids recently drowned when they fell through ice.

On the flip side, I was never in a car accident when my children were little, so a car seat never saved their lives, but I never took a chance and let them ride in a car unsecured.

I think there's a balance between allowing freedom, independence and exploration, and wrapping kids in bubble wrap. As parents know, accidents happen, but why not keep the odds in the kids' favor by explaining and discouraging dangerous behaviors?

 

Going to try to recreate my post and take it to the Prayer Closet...I had it written up just the way I wanted it, but lost the whole thing trying to move it over there without posting it here first. Mods, delete the misplaced post if you need to once it's done. 

As @Portia said, 

Quote

I have no idea what thread this is. 🙄

Anyway, I think it's all a matter of balance. 

To start with, let me apologize in advance for anyone who might find my thoughts too glib, since I am well aware that there is always the chance of a horrible accident coming as a result of things which most of us might see as innocuous. and we have already seen that there are cases even here in which these rare circumstances have, in fact, touched someone in their circle.

The thing is, though, that it has to be, on some level, a matter of balance. Freak accidents are always going to happen no matter what precautions are taken or how vigilant a caretaker may be. Minimizing them, of course, is always a good thing, and I am not speaking out against the reasonable sort of safety measures which save thousands upon thousands of kids from common, yet serious injury.  But there comes a point at which we spend more time trying to prevent bumps and bruises than we do letting kids learn though actually dealing with those things. At some point, one has to weigh the chances of something - even something potentially serious -  happening versus encasing a kid, for all intents and purposes, in bubble wrap. If the risk, over hundreds of thousands of people is almost never going to be more than a few stitches or a broken bone in the worst case. then what are we really accomplishing by trying to make sure those things never happen, especially since the vast majority of kids who get injured will actually never end up with more than a bruise or skinned knee? 

I know I'm probably going to be seen as a horrible mom by some, but having grown up as a very overprotected kid, I always felt I was doing my kids a favor, in a way, but letting them get their own bumps and bruises, and learn for themselves what not to do again. Or, alternatively, how do it better the next time they tried it.

[galaxychaser]

@lookeyloo how is your son? 
 

@EVS how are you?

[lookeyloo]

14 minutes ago, galaxychaser said:

@lookeyloo how is your son? 
 

@EVS how are you?

Thanks for checking. He is in pain. Just got out of hospital for pain management. Apparently his choice is to be zonked out on drugs or to be in pain. No happy medium. It is hard for him to endure and hard for me to watch. 

[SunnyBeBe]

On 2/3/2020 at 8:33 PM, galaxychaser said:

Funny titles for Christian music 

https://www.vintag.es/2020/01/bad-christian-album-titles.html?fbclid=IwAR0Qhwf4STjiRglvYoG1UuoBSgezLWPwHAwd33fZ-UqnLOQoCsXLHGwJk3E&m=1

That is incredible. I’m sure there were at least a half dozen of those albums in my home when I was a kid! So amusing.

Man, today, we had a sudden line of storms hit our area in central NC.  I was in the middle of a major intersection making a turn when it hit...wind, rain, and what felt like big ice cubes hit the car. I couldn’t see much at all, so inched onto an inside lane and pulled off the road. It hit early as we were told it wouldn’t hit until tonight. Lots of wind damage and flooding. Everyone is safe though, so grateful for that. 

[Barb23]

10 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

That is incredible. I’m sure there were at least a half dozen of those albums in my home when I was a kid! So amusing.

Man, today, we had a sudden line of storms hit our area in central NC.  I was in the middle of a major intersection making a turn when it hit...wind, rain, and what felt like big ice cubes hit the car. I couldn’t see much at all, so inched onto an inside lane and pulled off the road. It hit early as we were told it wouldn’t hit until tonight. Lots of wind damage and flooding. Everyone is safe though, so grateful for that. 

Boy that had to be frightening especially when it comes at you like a wall.   Luckily you were able to pull over.

[ChiCricket]

12 hours ago, galaxychaser said:

@lookeyloo how is your son? 
 

@EVS how are you?

I second this emotion. 💗      (I just finally made it to PR after 2 days of pass-riding, so I haven't read anything else yet so far.)

[SunnyBeBe]

1 hour ago, Barb23 said:

Boy that had to be frightening especially when it comes at you like a wall.   Luckily you were able to pull over.

Yeah.  It was unreal.  While sitting at the intersection, I noticed the dark sky, then SEVERE lightening, like I've never seen before and I've seen some terrible lightening. I called my mom, which I normally wouldn't do, since I don't talk on phone when driving, to warn her, and when I said I was in the car, she said, OH, NO. (She was watching news.)  I hung up, cause light turned green for me to turn and then it hit.  I was so afraid I would turn into the median that had trees!  But, thank goodness, I was able to inch my way to safety.  There was so much damage on the news. So glad everyone that I know is safe. It's been some crazy weather all across the southeast. 

[SunnyBeBe]

We've always had erratic weather in NC, but, it seems to be getting worse.

https://www.wral.com/first-aerial-views-of-storm-damage-in-raleigh/18938068/

[Natalie68]

On 2/3/2020 at 11:57 PM, ChiCricket said:

 

Ok, you both twisted my arm (I'm actually dying to talk about it)😊

  I am one of 7 children. There were ALWAYS arguments between my mother and father. Nothing physical, ever, but man oh man was there verbal abuse (especially when they drank to excess) My mom would get very loud, my dad could kill you with disdain and sarcasm. Divorce was so frowned on back then (especially by their strict Lutheran parents) Otherwise I think they would have (should have) gotten divorced.

So.

I was very much a daddy's girl...but it was very heavily implied that he had a roaming eye and a way with the ladies (I was shy and quiet and sneaky and listened to adult conversations all the time.)

So in my mind before I did the test (at my kids urging) I figured ,

OK, prepare yourself to have at least one ½ sibling out there.

BINGO.  I have a half sibling.

But.

It's MY older brother , who is four years older than me and has always been raised  WITH ME as a FULL brother, who is IN REALITY a HALF brother..MY dad is NOT his bio dad!!

So..my MOM had an affair!  I am beyond shocked. I'm still having trouble processing it.  He'll always just be my brother for gosh sakes. I'm 67 and he's 71. His daughter, who according to 23andMe is my half niece😭 doesn't want anyone to tell her dad, and we're respecting her wishes. But I'm not sure..what do you all think?!

My niece started this whole thing by doing a 23 and me DNA test, (because her young son got diagnosed with Crohn's disease, and she wanted to know if it was genetic.) 

She  saw on the results that she was ½ ashkenazi Jewish ancestry, so she shared that with our (closed)family group on facebook, and said " it is genetic, it does run in the family." Everyone was sad to hear that it ran in the family, but everyone was also intrigued about the Jewish connection. My daughter said "see? I'm just going back to my roots! " (she converted) 

BUT.

Then my nephew finally saw the post....

Turns out  he, who is my other brother's son (is your head spinning yet?😂) had also done the SAME 23andMe test, and said " WAIT a minute! How can that be? We're first cousins and I got 0% Jewish on mine!"  Dun dun DUN!

Fast forward to this December when I was "gifted" the DNA test and got the results that I did...and now I'm side-eyeing the rest of my siblings....kidding! (Not really)😂

PS it only shows people who have submitted 23and ME DNA though...so my dad could have been really playing around too for all I know.

PPS I have SO many questions!! 

Crazy!  I know 4 people in my real life that found siblings and family secrets that were long buried.  2 had a happy ending and 2 not so much.

[Zella]

23 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

We've always had erratic weather in NC, but, it seems to be getting worse.

https://www.wral.com/first-aerial-views-of-storm-damage-in-raleigh/18938068/

My family is originally from North Carolina, and some of the stuff they describe back home definitely seems worse than usual.

I feel like the weather is more unstable here in Arkansas than it used to be too. We had tornado watches and warnings earlier this week and have had them on and off quite a bit recently, and that's just not a thing for January or February normally.

 

[emma675]

The weather here in Texas has been getting more erratic over the years, too. We had at least 4 severe storms last year that caused major damage from tornadoes and straight line winds. My neighborhood is still recovering from one last June and a large portion of Dallas will take months or even years to recover from a random tornado late last year. I still see damage on my way to work every day. I'm starting to think I have storm PTSD--every time there is a chance for more severe weather my anxiety goes through the roof. And I've never been nervous about weather before. Climate change is real, y'all!

[SunnyBeBe]

13 minutes ago, emma675 said:

The weather here in Texas has been getting more erratic over the years, too. We had at least 4 severe storms last year that caused major damage from tornadoes and straight line winds. My neighborhood is still recovering from one last June and a large portion of Dallas will take months or even years to recover from a random tornado late last year. I still see damage on my way to work every day. I'm starting to think I have storm PTSD--every time there is a chance for more severe weather my anxiety goes through the roof. And I've never been nervous about weather before. Climate change is real, y'all!

I do know what you mean.  I guess I compare everything to hurricane Fran (1996). My  neighborhood in Raleigh was like a war zone. I had no power for 2 WEEKS!  I pray that I don't ever see anything like that again.  Some people weren't as fortunate as I was and lost their homes and lives. Tornadoes are so common here. During the warmer months, we are under Warnings and Watches most days. Makes me consider moving out west! lol  I just found out that one of my friends/colleagues from years ago is living in AZ.  New Mexico sounds nice too. 

[emma675]

SunnyBeBe, the longest I've ever been without power is 3 days, but I'm lucky because my street seems to be on the same grid as a hospital near us and they work on those first during outages. Last June after a bad storm, half of my neighborhood was without power for 10 days. In June, in Dallas. It was bad. 

There is a strip mall that basically got leveled during the last tornado and it's still a mess. One restaurant managed to avoid their walls falling in and got renovations done in record time, but they had to wait to open back up because the power company had to create a special line to get their electricity back on. And this is in the middle of one of the biggest cities in the US. It's crazy how long it's taking to recover. 

[galaxychaser]

I had a craving for hamburger helper last night. Umm it looked like something Jilly muffin would serve. It looks horrible lol.

[SunnyBeBe]

I'm planning to have ground chicken with veggies tonight.  I have a doctor's appointment on Monday.  How much weight do you think I might lose before then? lol  Just kidding. It's too late to concern myself with that now.  I am going to do a lot of walking today, tomorrow and Sunday. I normally feel better the more I move. 

[Mindthinkr]

3 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

We've always had erratic weather in NC, but, it seems to be getting worse.

https://www.wral.com/first-aerial-views-of-storm-damage-in-raleigh/18938068/

I got hit by the same storm, only it was dark here when it hit. I was inside prepared for it (similar to how I prepare for a hurricane...flashlights, water, stable food), but gratefully it died down a bit from what you described. Mind you it sounded like bricks were landing on my roof. We still have tropical force winds. 

[SunnyBeBe]

15 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

I got hit by the same storm, only it was dark here when it hit. I was inside prepared for it (similar to how I prepare for a hurricane...flashlights, water, stable food), but gratefully it died down a bit from what you described. Mind you it sounded like bricks were landing on my roof. We still have tropical force winds. 

Oh my....did you get any damage?  Any roof leaks?  I need to go check my car for hail damage. The wind is crazy bad today.  Lights are flickering. 

[Mindthinkr]

16 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Oh my....did you get any damage?  Any roof leaks?  I need to go check my car for hail damage. The wind is crazy bad today.  Lights are flickering. 

No leaks or damage other than yard mess. It was a doozy. Reminded me of a small hurricane. 

[SunnyBeBe]

1 hour ago, Mindthinkr said:

No leaks or damage other than yard mess. It was a doozy. Reminded me of a small hurricane. 

Yeah, it's unreal.  I just watched some more WRAL coverage: Woman getting out of car with help of fire dept. that is TOTALLY smashed with a tree the size of a firetruck!  Man, I'm lucky.

[ChiCricket]

Was just about to post this picture here with the caption:

Ahhhhhh..alone at last after almost THREE days!!!! And as I was about to hit the send button... before I could send it...knock knock knock...

"Hey mom? Could we leave (5yo) Samuel here with you while we all go to la parguera?" (a bioluminescent bay I've already been to.) What's a grammie to do? (I really just wanted some time to go to bathroom and not be hurried(!)  if you know what I mean...TMI?!😜😁

  I said "NO f'ing way! I'm need some alone time!!!!!....

OF COURSE I didn't say that (I THOUGHT that, and way worse)🙄

But he's happily sitting right here next to me playing minecraft. 😁😂

It's a beautiful room, that I paid way too much for, on the understanding that it would be for me and my husband ALONE.

Yeah right..I'm now sharing it with my oldest daughter and her two daughters while my husband bunks with his family.😂😁

 He's happy as a clam to be with his family, and if I have to share with anyone else, they are the most compatible with me (biological-clockwise), so it's all good.

the end

for now

(sorry I chewed all your ears off) 😊

 

 

Edited February 7, 2020 by ChiCricket

[SunnyBeBe]

42 minutes ago, ChiCricket said:

Was just about to post this picture here with the caption:

Ahhhhhh..alone at last after almost THREE days!!!! And as I was about to hit the send button... before I could send it...knock knock knock...

"Hey mom? Could we leave (5yo) Samuel here with you while we all go to la parguera?" (a bioluminescent bay I've already been to.) What's a grammie to do? (I really just wanted some time to go to bathroom and not be hurried(!)  if you know what I mean...TMI?!😜😁

  I said "NO f'ing way! I'm need some alone time!!!!!....

OF COURSE I didn't say that (I THOUGHT that, and way worse)🙄

But he's happily sitting right here next to me playing minecraft. 😁😂

It's a beautiful room, that I paid way too much for, on the understanding that it would be for me and my husband ALONE.

Yeah right..I'm now sharing it with my oldest daughter and her two daughters while my husband bunks with his family.😂😁

 He's happy as a clam to be with his family, and if I have to share with anyone else, they are the most compatible with me (biological-clockwise), so it's all good.

the end

for now

(sorry I chewed all your ears off) 😊

 

 

Awww.....nice!

[Scarlett45]

There is still a mouse in my house!

 

Orkin has been out twice, baited both units, I’ve sealed up all the holes in the basement ceiling and the kitchens (where the exterminator thinks he got in) with “Great Stuff“ Foam & steel wool. M, my sister’s caregiver has affectionally named the mouse “Jerry”🤣🤣, since the repairs he’s only been located on Mom’s stove top. He runs into the eyes and then M turns on the broiler to force him out. I THINK he’s living right under the cabinet next to the wall where we cannot see or reach, but if he’s coming out he must be hungry- EAT THE POISON IN THE TRAP THEN!
 

All of the food is in sealed containers now, but Mom is terrified of mice. I feel so bad I’m doing the best I can to get rid of him. 

[ginger90]

30 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

There is still a mouse in my house!

 

Orkin has been out twice, baited both units, I’ve sealed up all the holes in the basement ceiling and the kitchens (where the exterminator thinks he got in) with “Great Stuff“ Foam & steel wool. M, my sister’s caregiver has affectionally named the mouse “Jerry”🤣🤣, since the repairs he’s only been located on Mom’s stove top. He runs into the eyes and then M turns on the broiler to force him out. I THINK he’s living right under the cabinet next to the wall where we cannot see or reach, but if he’s coming out he must be hungry- EAT THE POISON IN THE TRAP THEN!
 

All of the food is in sealed containers now, but Mom is terrified of mice. I feel so bad I’m doing the best I can to get rid of him. 

With poison, you may not be able to locate the mouse once the poison works. There are large glue traps, plastic like a tray. You can place it where it seems it’s coming out, but so you can see the trap. Or a humane trap with a piece of bread with peanut butter. 

[ChiCricket]

12 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

With poison, you may not be able to locate the mouse once the poison works. There are large glue traps, plastic like a tray. You can place it where it seems it’s coming out, but so you can see the trap. Or a humane trap with a piece of bread with peanut butter. 

Good point. If it gets poisoned and hides inside a wall or something before it dies , you are going to have the most horrible, sickening stench to contend with. BTDT 🤢

[sixlets]

What is it with the weather these past few years?  We had some really warm weather this week, and a cold front came through today.  3 counties had tornado warnings, and after watching news footage, it wouldn't surprise me.  Mr. Six said the power went out in the office when a line of thunderstorms moved in.  Our official snow totals are based out of BWI, and they've only had 1.8" so far.  Where we live, it's even less.  @Barb23-I hope you made it through unscathed from the weather and the officers' shootings.

I had a negative encounter with a razor blade last week, and I'm still missing the very tip of my left index finger.  Instead of being rounded, it's sort of flat on the end.  Oops.

I hope you all have a safe, warm/cool, enjoyable weekend ❤️

[SunnyBeBe]

I’ve had my go rounds with mice. Once I had a nest of them die inside the insulation of the hot water heater! That took weeks to fade away. Traps work, but I can’t pick up dead ones. There are contained traps, but some catch them live, so I release them outside. Lol My dad recently made a trap by accident. He was trying to prevent mice from getting into his corn for the squirrels, that he keeps in storage shed. He closed the bag and sat a large plastic bucket on top. Two mice fell into the bucket and either starved or froze to death... they couldn’t get enough traction to crawl out. Poor things.  I think they were only in there a day or two. I have no problem with worms, insects, bugs, spiders or lizards, but mice and snakes......not so much.

So you could set up a large bucket with treats inside, with a way for them to get in...but no way out. The next day you can take them that gather down the road and put them out, lol

Edited February 8, 2020 by SunnyBeBe

[Jynnan tonnix]

9 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I’ve had my go rounds with mice. Once I had a nest of them die inside the insulation of the hot water heater! That took weeks to fade away. Traps work, but I can’t pick up dead ones. There are contained traps, but some catch them live, so I release them outside. Lol My dad recently made a trap by accident. He was trying to prevent mice from getting into his corn for the squirrels, that he keeps in storage shed. He closed the bag and sat a large plastic bucket on top. Two mice fell into the bucket and either starved or froze to death... they couldn’t get enough traction to crawl out. Poor things.  I think they were only in there a day or two. I have no problem with worms, insects, bugs, spiders or lizards, but mice and snakes......not so much.

So you could set up a large bucket with treats inside, with a way for them to get in...but no way out. The next day you can take them that gather down the road and put them out, lol

Just be aware that they can climb up practically anything that has the least amount of texture...I've seen them get up the sides of mildly scuffed up plastic buckets when they fell in. Maybe coat the sides of the bucket with Vaseline or something. Alternately,  put water in the bottom to drown them. Not the most humane way to go, but better than the glue traps which they will be stuck on until they starve. They also apparently have a great homing instinct, so if you release them, you should do it a good mile or two away to keep them from coming back.

Edited February 8, 2020 by Jynnan tonnix

[Scarlett45]

12 hours ago, ginger90 said:

With poison, you may not be able to locate the mouse once the poison works. There are large glue traps, plastic like a tray. You can place it where it seems it’s coming out, but so you can see the trap. Or a humane trap with a piece of bread with peanut butter. 

Thank you. Orkin put down the large glue traps as well. 

[Love2dance]

@sixlets, sorry about your finger, hope it heals well. Yikes! 
Yes, the weather seems to be crazy everywhere. ❄️🌩💨🌊 Stay safe everyone. 

[EVS]

On 2/6/2020 at 8:46 PM, galaxychaser said:

@lookeyloo how is your son? 
 

@EVS how are you?

I’m doing well. Thank you for asking. I will finish my last tests this week and finally start treatment next week. 

On 2/6/2020 at 9:02 PM, lookeyloo said:

Thanks for checking. He is in pain. Just got out of hospital for pain management. Apparently his choice is to be zonked out on drugs or to be in pain. No happy medium. It is hard for him to endure and hard for me to watch. 

@lookeyloo, I am so sorry.