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Small Talk: The Prayer Closet


Message added by Scarlett45

This is a reminder that the Politics Policy is still in effect.

I understand with recent current events there may be a desire to discuss political social media posts of those in the Duggar realm- this is not the place for those discussions. If you believe someone has violated forum rules, report them, do not respond or engage.

Political discussion is not allowed in this forum- this includes Small Talk topics. Please stay in the spirit of the policy- I have noticed a tendency for some to follow the letter but not the spirit.

Message added by CM-CrispMtAir,

While we understand the frustration (change is never easy), please keep in mind that not everyone feels the same way and that for those members who don't, the ongoing conversation about other forums and chat options can equally be a cause of frustration.

Out of respect for your fellow posters, we kindly ask that you continue any discussion about alternatives via PM or the Technically Speaking: Bugs, Questions, & Suggestions area.

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20 hours ago, latetotheparty said:

@galaxychaser it would be really nice if life would stop kicking you in the teeth. It’s got to be exhausting constantly waiting for the next shoe to drop. 

It is. When I came home last night there was a letter saying they will break down my door if I don’t let them in. Guess the landlord will mess with my electricity.  Don’t have a choice. My electricity works so I don’t get what they are looking for. 

Irony is someone was supposed to come Monday. No one came at the time I was expecting them. No one called to say anything else. Now I’m being accused of being non compliant. Yeah thanks landlord.
 

Happy Friday!

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1 hour ago, galaxychaser said:

Yes although all of the Duggars and their friends seem wise enough not to let a pregnancy get to 45 weeks. There are all kinds of old wives tales about the "good old days" where people went way over their due dates. I think now technology is more accurate about tracking due dates, conception, etc. and going over due dates is more dangerous.

Although the article does go to warn about the dangers about ignoring doctors for wisdom on the internet. And it's always good to remember childbirth is dangerous and can be deadly. 

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1 hour ago, fonfereksglen said:

Weird question. ...  have any of you looked at a thread in another Duggar related forum and found someone had cut and pasted something you posted here .... using their own handle?

Very bizarre and it has happened more than once.  

No which other forum were you looking in?

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46 minutes ago, Temperance said:

No which other forum were you looking in?

Not going there.  Will simply say the two for sure times I caught this were both from JingJer stuff.

I have an awkward syntax so it puzzles me why anyone else would want to copy anything written by me. 

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13 hours ago, fonfereksglen said:

Not going there.  Will simply say the two for sure times I caught this were both from JingJer stuff.

I have an awkward syntax so it puzzles me why anyone else would want to copy anything written by me. 

That's really odd.  I haven't noticed what you describe, however, I have had odd things happen when I post at times.  Often, what I post stays in in the Comment box and the next time, I want to post another message, I have to delete it to get it out of the box.  (Even though, I've already posted that comment.)  That hasn't always happened.  I'm unclear what causes it. 

Fonfereksglen, you might ask a moderator to explore it, if it happens again or just PM the member and ask about it.  I'd not be too happy with it, if it were me.  

Scarlett, I have to say that we don't get enough cold weather in NC to wear out a coat. lol  I've held on to some for quite a few years and then donated it and it still looked new.  Your new selection sounds really nice and warm.  

Edited by SunnyBeBe
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@Scarlett45, I loved that! I hope you enjoy your new coat. If you look at "per wearing" costs, a winter coat in a cold climate is probably one of our best purchases. 

Something similar happened to me a few years ago. I had a coat that I'd bought for not much money at I think a Burlington Coat Factory store. I'd really wanted a nice parka with detachable liner and detachable hood, that would be versatile through our cool and cold Denver weather.  Well, I couldn't find a coat like that in my size, so I ended up with that dark blue no-name poly-filled sort-of insulated blue coat with hood. Cheap and kind of intended as an interim coat till I found what I liked better.  I wore it for a long time; it was really my go-to coat in cold weather. It was machine washable and I liked not having to pay a dry cleaner to keep it clean.

I would wear it when I went out with friends to dinner, theater, etc. Finally one of my friends said something about it - as in, it was pretty shabby - and I took a look at it. It dawned on me that I must have been wearing that "interim, until I find the RIGHT coat" thing, for at least six years. (!!!) And yeah, it was shabby looking by then. 

So when we adults in my local family did our Christmas gift name draw I said I needed a new coat. My late uncle got my name and gave me $100 (our agreed gift cost limit) to spend on a coat. I found a dark blue-green coat for a bit more than that, and I consider it my coat from my uncle. He was a sweetie, lived to be 98 and passed away two years ago. I have bought other coats since then but will probably wear that coat for some years to come. It *does* get washed regularly, but is holding up well so far. And I often think of my uncle when I grab it from the closet.

It still cracks me up that it took a tactful word from a friend to make me actually LOOK at my shabby old coat. Hey, it was keeping me warm, and I didn't have to look at it when I was wearing it. 🤣

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I bought a down coat for $20. Yes $20 and free shipping. It’s my first year wearing it. I get tons of compliments on it.  Yay for clearance.

Thats the only things I buy on Black Friday. Coats 75% off.  

Edited by galaxychaser
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I've had my winter coat for almost 20 years. It's looking pretty shabby around the cuffs and has a few stains that won't come out. I bought it on clearance for $150 back when I lived in an area with a lot of snow. Now, I might wear it 10 days out of the year and I just can't bring myself to get a new one when this one still keeps me warm. 

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15 minutes ago, zoomama said:

ya know, there ARE parts of the USA that dont even wear 'winter coats'...i live in a cardigan sweater all the time in our winter.  😋

I'm more of a sweater/cardigan/jacket person myself, because, we don't get that much super cold weather in NC.  But, there are the days where it is cold.  THEN, I'm happy to have my warm coat, soft scarf, gloves and winter hat. 

I bought a little light rain coat last month to take to FL, on my recent trip, just in case.  I had some rain gear, but, it was old, thick and a dark color.  I wanted something light in color and weight.  It was on sale, but, still VERY pricey, imo.  I guess I'll get wear out of it, because we do have PLENTY of rain in the spring and summer in NC, most of the time. but, it still irks me that I overpaid for it.  I love a deal and it irritates me when I don't get a really good one.  lol  I checked online and it's now substantially lower in cost than last month.  Ugghh...

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24 minutes ago, zoomama said:

ya know, there ARE parts of the USA that dont even wear 'winter coats'...i live in a cardigan sweater all the time in our winter.  😋

For the past 14 years, I've lived in the world of hard winters.  In 1996, while still living in Maryland, I purchased a Geiger boiled wool sweater jacket,  in Innsbruck, Austria.  For 247 dollars US.

Since then, through four moves to eventually live where we are now, that sweater has been warm enough to wear as outerwear throughout whatever winters during my day to day living. Except in rain or snow.

Best money I ever spent! 

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I live in cardigans and hoodies. In Minnesota. Because I’m a weirdo. It used to drive my mother to despair when she was alive, my lack of appropriate winter gear. “Where are your boots?” “Hmm, maybe I should buy some, Mom.” I have a tendency to get overheated in the car so I dress as minimally as I can get away with. I’m more often cold in the house. 

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I've enjoyed reading the coat posts & I also have a coat in the "too old to be wearing" category.  It has seen me through different sizes & I've fixed the attached hood numerous times when it the seams have started to pull apart. I think I got it at JC Penney's years ago. It is actually reversible- an off white corduroy side & a waterproof tan side which is the side I use because the corduroy gets dirty too quickly. It's not too heavy & I guess that's why I love it so much because it's warm enough for most of our Maryland winters. I just wear a sweatshirt underneath for the cold, cold days. I bought myself a fleecy kind of jacket that is OK but it still doesn't compare to my tan jacket.  I've bought other parka type coats but they just don't fit like my tan one. The color isn't  great -- I'm more of a blue color person but tan was the only available color when I got it.  I'm really dreading getting rid of it when it finally falls apart but I like the idea of passing it on to a homeless person. 

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I have a coat addiction, which is kind of ridiculous because it rarely gets super cold where I live. I have a black herringbone patterned one that I love, but the lining is just a mess now. I think I've tried to sew it back together at least two times but it keeps coming apart again. I may just rip it out entirely. 

I did recently go through my coat closet and pull out a bunch to donate. There were some in my closet I didn't even remember I had! Hopefully that doesn't lead me to buy more coats, I have way too many as it is.

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3 hours ago, emma675 said:

I have a coat addiction, which is kind of ridiculous because it rarely gets super cold where I live. I have a black herringbone patterned one that I love, but the lining is just a mess now. I think I've tried to sew it back together at least two times but it keeps coming apart again. I may just rip it out entirely. 

I did recently go through my coat closet and pull out a bunch to donate. There were some in my closet I didn't even remember I had! Hopefully that doesn't lead me to buy more coats, I have way too many as it is.

You could probably find a tailor through a dry cleaner that can put a new lining in. 

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On 2/23/2020 at 6:10 PM, zoomama said:

ya know, there ARE parts of the USA that dont even wear 'winter coats'...i live in a cardigan sweater all the time in our winter.  😋

We've lived in Connecticut for the past 7 years, but I'm pretty sure I could count the number of times I've worn a coat without having to resort to counting my toes...Unless it's less than 15 or so degrees out and windy - and I have to be outside in it for more than a few minutes, I just can't be bothered. It's way more of a pain for me to wrestle coats on and off, then find places to stow them, than it is to deal with being a bit chilly for a bit. Everyone rather tends to think I'm crazy, but it's just the way I am. I do have a really nice down coat I got about six years ago in Florida, of all places, at a Ross store. Originally about $200, I got it for something like $40. Couldn't resist. But, as I say, I've worn it seven or eight times, tops, and it's entirely like new.

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11 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

We've lived in Connecticut for the past 7 years, but I'm pretty sure I could count the number of times I've worn a coat without having to resort to counting my toes...Unless it's less than 15 or so degrees out and windy - and I have to be outside in it for more than a few minutes, I just can't be bothered. It's way more of a pain for me to wrestle coats on and off, then find places to stow them, than it is to deal with being a bit chilly for a bit. Everyone rather tends to think I'm crazy, but it's just the way I am. I do have a really nice down coat I got about six years ago in Florida, of all places, at a Ross store. Originally about $200, I got it for something like $40. Couldn't resist. But, as I say, I've worn it seven or eight times, tops, and it's entirely like new.

I got so tired of wrestling the big thick heavy coats while driving and then being super warm in the store that I got a lightweight  jacket instead. I still have the super warm heavyweight jacket for walking the dogs but running errands in the car I'm just wearing that light jacket and some gloves. I've had it about three years and it's starting to look a bit gross--I got it in a bright orange because I walk the dogs in that too and I'd like to be seen--but you can really see all the wear. May have to get a new one next year and I might just make it one of those barn coats

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@frenchtoast, I hear you about hassling with coats when running around town in the car. If I'm doing that - basically just needing a coat between the car and a store, post office, etc. - I often skimp on the coat. But if I'll be out for awhile - catching light rail, having to park and walk quite a distance, etc. - I'm too cold-natured to skimp.

Sadly, since early November I no longer have a dog to walk, and because of a circulatory condition I don't enjoy just going out and walking around in cold weather for the exercise. I've realized that I'm not reaching for the heavy coat nearly as often since I said goodbye to my little furry buddy.  😢

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Porkchop, I love that. There is a taco shop in my area that is run by a lady who immigrated from Mexico years ago and it is in a part of town that has a lot of homeless people. She put up a coat stand outside the shop with a note that says anyone can donate and anyone who needs a coat can take one for free. She said it was a way to keep people warm without them having to ask for help. The local news did a story on it and some jackass from another state sent her an anonymous letter full of hate and vitriol and racist crap. She shrugged it off and kept the process going--it inspired me to clean out my closet and put everything in my car so I can go to the shop one of these days and hang my coats on the stand. 

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Okay. I'm going to put it here.  Hope it's the right place. 

I'm not one to be critical of other people's choices. I realize each parent has the right to select their own path for birth, however, this story really stood out to me MONTHS ago when it first happened and ALSO when a new version of it came out yesterday.  I'll try to find the original version where the couple said their midwife couldn't make it or was out of town, and they could not get to the hospital, so, father had to deliver the twins at home, like it was an emergency. Thank goodness that his mother just happened to be there.  Sounded odd, but, it was a big tribute to dad for being so resourceful and thinking quick.

Then, yesterday, this article appeared which was quite different and says they HAD planned a home birth, but, changed their minds and then couldn't make it t the hospital, but, good thing they had everything already prepared.  It sounds untruthful to me. I wonder what version we'll see later. 

Some may recall that Bode and his wife lost their youngest daughter (19 months old) a couple of years ago due to a drowning at a neighbors pool.  Child was there with mother, who lost track of her and she wandered outside and fell in the pool.  Terrible tragedy.  But, the Millers have been very vocal since then and especially after mother became pregnant with twins. After reading this second version of events and seeing even more photos, I'm left wondering what is wrong with these people?  Something just isn't right.   I won't even mention that isn't a twin delivery considered high risk?  

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-8038703/Bode-Miller-wife-Morgan-home-birth-twins-graphic-detail.html

I'm trying to figure out why you would take such risks, after having lost a child by drowning and why you would share so many intimate photographs in public.  I just don't get it. 

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See, I am having a very real problem with religion lately. I was raised seriously Catholic - as in I attended a Catholic grade school, high school, I was to have no friends that are not Catholic, the whole enchilada. I was like a Catholic Duggar. Fast forward to now. I don't even call myself Catholic now. Only go to church if I have to for a wedding or a funeral. That said... I have a real issue with people saying that they had some horrible sickness and that "God healed them." Um... didn't the surgeon/doctor have something to do with all that healing? I have a family member right now that is praising God for his successful surgery. Um, yeah, that is all good, but I'm thinking the surgeons had something to do with it. Plus, my main issue is he is going on and on about how God healed him. Here is my thing. My precious Westie had cancer in his jaw. The only treatment (which his vet and I declined) was to remove part of his jaw. Not an option. Anyway, my baby had a stroke and we had to put him down. So why did God save my family member and not save my sweet Westie? Please tell me what makes you so special that God will save one person and not another?

Sorry for the rant, just feeling very emotional today. I have a lot going on.

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So sorry, @Westiepeach, I completely understand. I have wonderful friends and family (like everyone else) who have passed way too early and sadly (children included). I just can’t believe God decided they were not good enough to survive while others were chosen to live. I don’t want to think it works like that.

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Trying to justify a hypothetical God's decisions always seems like an exercise in futility and frustration to me. The only way it makes sense, IMO, is realizing that the world pretty much works exactly as it would if there were no God.

I'm not saying that faith is necessarily a bad thing if it works for you, but fighting to keep hold of it rather than exploring where the questions take you when your mind begins to point out the inconsistencies can make losing faith a far more painful and less freeing process than it needs to be.

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10 minutes ago, galaxychaser said:

Had to Change my number. My “friend” won’t stop calling/texting. Guess you can spoof the number. Because it’s the different one each time. Tired of blocking each number. What a snake she turned out to be 😞

What does she want from you?

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12 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

The only way it makes sense, IMO, is realizing that the world pretty much works exactly as it would if there were no God.

Exactly. 

 I'm having a problem talking to anyone in my family (even my husband of  almost 51 years) about my depression, because they always try to bring up how God or going to Church has helped THEM in their lives.

Welp....nice for them..I can't pretend to believe in something I don't.

I do have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow morning..but even she talks about people needing to believe in a "higher power" which....no.

Edited by ChiCricket
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17 minutes ago, ChiCricket said:

Exactly. 

 I'm having a problem talking to anyone in my family (even my husband of  almost 51 years) about my depression, because they always try to bring up how God or going to Church has helped THEM in their lives.

Welp....nice for them..I can't pretend to believe in something I don't.

I do have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow morning..but even she talks about people needing to believe in a "higher power" which....no.

Oy.  Wrong therapist.  I have had therapy several times over the years and higher power never mentioned.

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On 2/25/2020 at 3:52 PM, Barb23 said:

I am putting in a prayer/good thoughts request for my mother-in-law who is having back surgery tomorrow.  She has had back problems for as long as I've known her (40+ years) but still has managed to live a fulfilling life including teaching & traveling the US all the while being in pain & having walking difficulties. It seems kind of weird asking for prayers &  good thoughts on her behalf because she is the person in our family who leads the prayers for anyone and everyone. 

So any prayers or good thoughts you can send Nana will be greatly appreciated.  

How is your MIL doing.

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39 minutes ago, ChiCricket said:

Exactly. 

 I'm having a problem talking to anyone in my family (even my husband of  almost 51 years) about my depression, because they always try to bring up how God or going to Church has helped THEM in their lives.

Welp....nice for them..I can't pretend to believe in something I don't.

I do have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow morning..but even she talks about people needing to believe in a "higher power" which....no.

I was going to say, "Amen to that!" but then I realized it may not be the most appropriate response.

You know what I mean, right???

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1 hour ago, SunnyBeBe said:

How is your MIL doing.

Thank you for asking - I was just coming here  to post that my MIL's back surgery went fine & she's doing well. Surgery started later than it was supposed to so she was the last one out of the OR post-anesthesia area this evening. She has to stay flat on her back for 24 hours, which will be until late afternoon tomorrow.  Mr. Barb said she wasn't in much pain & was groggy & sleeping when he left a little bit ago.  She's expecting to go home Friday if things go well tomorrow.  Hopefully she'll be able to bypass a rehab facility.

Thank you for all the prayers & well wishes.  I believe they had a part in her good outcome.  

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2 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

Oy.  Wrong therapist.  I have had therapy several times over the years and higher power never mentioned.

Co-sign. I had a therapist give me a worksheet which included "spiritual goals," but she explicitly said that that was only if that was a part of my life and of course I could skip it. Skip it I did, and it was never mentioned again.

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28 minutes ago, Barb23 said:

Thank you for asking - I was just coming here  to post that my MIL's back surgery went fine & she's doing well. Surgery started later than it was supposed to so she was the last one out of the OR post-anesthesia area this evening. She has to stay flat on her back for 24 hours, which will be until late afternoon tomorrow.  Mr. Barb said she wasn't in much pain & was groggy & sleeping when he left a little bit ago.  She's expecting to go home Friday if things go well tomorrow.  Hopefully she'll be able to bypass a rehab facility.

Thank you for all the prayers & well wishes.  I believe they had a part in her good outcome.  

That’s great news. Hopefully, things will continue to go well. Also, if possible I’d take advantage of rehab. It can help in so many ways.

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Barb-I'm so happy to read your MIL is doing well post surgery.  
galaxy-it truly sucks when people only want what will benefit them in a relationship.  Been there, done that, and it's not easy.  I hope you get some relief soon.  How are things are your apartment?

I had the craziest doctor's appointments I've ever had today.  Since the summer of 2009, I've had hundreds of appointments for various stuff.  I was eventually diagnosed with Intractable Pain stemming from back.  Fast forward to last fall.  My PCP wants me to revisit rheumatology since it had been 10 years since I saw them.  I called to make the appointment before leaving for the Thanksgiving holiday to spend it with family in PA.  His first, new patient appointment was February 26th-today!  I got an 1100am time slot, and I'm asked to be there at 1030am to do any paperwork.  I did most of it online, so I sat.  1100am rolls around, and I'm still in the waiting room.  Finally get to a room and I'm told he has one patient ahead of me.  It's now noon, he's getting ready to walk in the door with his resident, and the power goes out!  It comes right back on though.  We go through another cycle of off/on, and Mr. Six told him it goes out one more time, BGE will have to send a crew.  It won't turn itself back on again.  He was right.  We're told hang on for a bit, and they're trying to get an ETA.  215pm!!!  It's 1230pm.  We can't wait that long since Mr. Six has a presentation for a monthly work society event.  We end up chatting in another office that had an outside window, and by the end of that, the power was back on.  We go back to the exam room, and he checks the joints in my fingers/hand then wrist, and then he asks me to hold my arm straight out in front of me.  As soon as I do it, he makes a loud "oh, my" and promptly asks if I was ever told I was double-jointed.  Yep.  Known since I was a kid.  Never thought anything of it.  Turns out, I have something called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, type 3.  I had a suspicion, but now I have confirmation.  It is a genetic condition that affects the cartilage in your body.  In my case, I got it from my mom.  There are many subsets, and for the most part, only one of them can have life-altering consequences.  As of now, he does not believe I have that particular one.  I'm just ultra bendy 🙂  This is a great link that shows the criteria one must meet. Of the 9 (chart), I meet 8.  I can no longer put my palms on the floor, but he said that was also due to my age (I'm 40).  Even though I knew there was a chance of getting this diagnosis, it still took me aback.  I'm still trying to process everything from today.  We have a solid treatment plan over the next 4 months that I'm happy with.  I sincerely apologize for the long novel.  This has been on my mind since 130pm, and while I talked to my husband and mom about it, I'm not ready to make it "public" just yet.  Thanks for reading!

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38 minutes ago, sixlets said:

Turns out, I have something called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, type 3.   I'm just ultra bendy 🙂  This is a great link that shows the criteria one must meet. Of the 9 (chart), I meet 8.  I can no longer put my palms on the floor, but he said that was also due to my age (I'm 40).  Even though I knew there was a chance of getting this diagnosis, it still took me aback.  I'm still trying to process everything from today.  We have a solid treatment plan over the next 4 months that I'm happy with.  I sincerely apologize for the long novel.  This has been on my mind since 130pm, and while I talked to my husband and mom about it, I'm not ready to make it "public" just yet.  Thanks for reading!

  This was interesting reading. There are so many different conditions and diseases in the world, it's no wonder doctors miss some of them.

  Can they do anything for your pain? (and did you at least get the unusually soft or velvety skin they mentioned?)

Edited by ChiCricket
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I didn't realize there were so many variations of Ehlers Danlos syndrome. One of my friends had a terrible version of it, she had multiple surgeries throughout her life because it caused so many health issues and eventually died from complications at age 36. Her mom died early from the same thing and her younger sister also has it. It's incredibly sad.

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