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Small Talk: The Prayer Closet


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6 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Yes, the headache was worrisome.  Even though I had read it was a side effect, I started getting worried it was something more serious, because I’m not one who gets many headaches.  Perhaps, one a year.   And it lasted quite a while. I did take some low dose Tylenol a few times.  And even though I read that a sore throat was not a side effect, I got it along with the headache and it left the same time too, which like you was about 14 hours.  I’m still tired, but relieved it’s behind me.  I won’t be at the two week wait period for another 10 days, but I really want to attend an outdoor Easter church service next Sunday, so I’m weighing the risks.

Studies indicate that a single dose of one of the 2 dose vaccines is 90% effective in preventing severe COVID, starting a couple of weeks after it's given.  I would personally have no problem going to an Easter service being held outdoors since it should be reasonably easy to distance and wear a mask.

Of course, I've been attending Mass at my own church indoors and socially distanced for months.  I've taken breaks when surges were happening locally, but I go otherwise, including this morning.  My church took reservations for Palm Sunday and will do the same at Easter and will set up an overflow area in the church hall to accommodate as many as possible, but the they will lock the doors once they've reached COVID capacity which is about a quarter of the usual numbers.  Our pastor has been a real stickler about the rules and precautions, reminding the congregation frequently of our Christian duty to help protect the vulnerable.

Edited by doodlebug
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1 hour ago, awaken said:

 

 

have been LOVING the cherry  blossoms around here @QuinnInND!  So refreshing and uplifting to see when I’m out walking. 
 

 

They're just beautiful!  I was so glad we got this house just because of this tree 

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2 hours ago, awaken said:

moderna #2 did me in. 36 hrs of chills, fever, headache, all over aches, exhaustion. Miserable but no regrets. Thankful to finally have the opportunity. Why does this vaccine carry such strong after effects?  I’ve never reacted to other vaccines in the past. 

I just had mine Friday. About 6 hours later my arm ached. After 9 hours I didn’t feel good, but nothing I could put my finger on. I went to sleep around 11. I woke up at 2 to use the bathroom and thought gee, my arm isn’t really hurting. Then the next day I had an annoying headache and some light sensitivity. I woke up today feeling great. It’s interesting how we are all reacting so differently. 

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On 3/27/2021 at 8:21 PM, sixlets said:

Did you ever do something and even hours later, you still can't help but say WTF?  That's how our day went.  The lease is up on my Crosstrek later this year, and we knew we didn't want another one.  Our first option was a 2021 Ford Escape.  We ordered a Tesla Model 3.  Mr. Six knows this is my dream car.  And he works so fucking hard every single day to support our little family, and it looks like my dream might come true.  With the way they work, we can walk away at any point, including after it's delivered to the dealer.  I have been blessed beyond measure in many ways, but this is a blessing of a lifetime.

Oooh, congrats! We have a 2012 Model S (like number 1000-something produced) and it is soooooooo fun to drive. We had never driven nor even sat in one before we picked it up at the factory and drove it home. I had always driven a manual transmission and was apprehensive about the switch but good golly, that thing accelerates. Haven't put gas in a car since like 2014 when I was on a business trip. I hope you love it.

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Medical professionals like the nurse that administered your shot @emma675, drive me crazy. Like where did they pull those figures from? They would do better to say they didn't know than to make something up. 

The efficacy of the first shot has a lot to do with age and immune response. Not everyone will reach 90%. After the second shot, its rare for anyone to be below 90%. The immune response improves daily and by two weeks, its in full gear.

Unless a medical professional's specialty is in immunology and infectious diseases, their knowledge of what's been going on this last year is minimum to none, unless they've been reading up on it and keeping up with the latest news. As evidenced by the ever changing information, even the specialists were met with many unknowns. 

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My brother is getting married this summer and I was just invited to my future sister-in-law's bachelorette party. The plan is for everyone to go out to eat and then go bar hopping around the city, followed by everyone sleeping over in an air bnb house. She is assuming everyone invited will be vaccinated by then, but even if I am, I can't imagine engaging in these activities, which read like a checklist of the most ill-advised pandemic activities that could be done. I've not really been staying up to date on the latest recommendations as to what is considered okay for vaccinated people to engage in, but I just can't fathom being comfortable with this plan by late May. Granted, going bar hopping and having a sleepover with strangers is something I would have hated every minute of pre-pandemic because of my introversion and general inability to tolerate alcohol, but...still. 

I wonder if I will ever truly be comfortable being in a crowd, or around strangers whose level of care toward avoiding infection is unknown, again. 😞

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I’ve opted out of an annual family reunion for the second year as have my daughters and their families. A handful went last year in August, and this year it will be the end of July. It involves a Friday to Sunday stay and a 5 hour drive for myself and my daughters and their families, Pennsylvania to upstate New York.

 

ETA: this will be the 50+ year for this reunion. I missed one 28 years ago because I was due any day with my youngest, who was born the Saturday of the reunion.

Edited by ginger90
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I'm still taking it slow but surely enjoying being a bit free again due to getting vaccinated!

Have eaten out a few times but chose off hours and nicer restaurants.  I do keep my mask on during ordering and choose my seating farthest from the server.

I believe I read Indiana is lifting the facemask wearing April 1 or 7.  Then it will be up to owners of they want face masks worn in their businesses or restaurants.

Saturday I lunched with a friend but forgot my mask.  She drove and I forgot to put one in my purse.  I did have a clean hankie so I looped it over my glasses and made my own facemask!

I guess we do what we have to do!  It did feel good to dine out!

Yesterday one of my daughters came over with dinner and my grandson!  It felt soooo good to hug him!  He's 13 and said it felt good to him too!

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2 minutes ago, rue721 said:

This afternoon, I take what will hopefully be my last CPA exam 🤞🤞 This one is a retake — I tried to take this section first, back in the fall, but I failed it by a hair 🤦🏻‍♀️ I passed all the others on the first try and now I feel like an old hand at high stakes tests... so I’m trying to get pumped up and treat today like a game day. I went to bed early last night, had a big breakfast this morning... and in a couple hours I head over to the testing center 😳💪

If you have a chance today, would you please send me thoughts/prayers/vibes? It really does make a difference! Just knowing other people are rooting for me to do well makes a difference

YOU can do this!  I'll be holding you tight!  Hugs and really good wishes.

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My Godmother's funeral services were Saturday, I did not watch the live stream and I am glad I didnt- FaceTiming with my friend in Taiwan was good for my emotional well being. My cousin and my own BFF watched a bit of the services via live stream and they both said it was good I didnt watch based on all of the ridiculous things the husband was saying at the services.

After the services, my Mom got a call on her drive home from work from W (who was a good friend of my godmother's mother, but the same age as my god mother and Mom) and she said when she didn't see my Mom OR me there (she knows one of us may have had to stay home to care for my sister) she had to call and check in. W did not go to the cemetery, but they were able to have a nice chat and reminisce about my god mother's life. W said who knew in 11yrs my godmother would follow her own mother.

My Mom is so sad- we were prepared bury my godmother this year- things didn't look good and we knew it, but I didn't expect this if you had asked me on New Year's Day.

Tomorrow I am headed back to the hospital to visit my great aunt E (86yrs old, dementia), things are not looking good for her either. She now wont eat any foods, I have been bringing her milkshakes, and tomorrow I will try a Frappuccino. At least its calories and the coffee flavor will be pleasing to her. My heart is so heavy and filled with hurt, but truthfully I am numb.

My Mom's bday is Thursday (yup an April Fool's baby). I need to get her flowers and a card, I have all her gifts ready.

 

Cosmo is well. I think am going to keep him stocked in the Buddy Biscuits. I like the 3.5lbs bag and the ingredients. I must keep this dog in proper treats or I will be forced to sleep in the stairwell. 

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2 hours ago, rue721 said:

This afternoon, I take what will hopefully be my last CPA exam 🤞🤞 This one is a retake — I tried to take this section first, back in the fall, but I failed it by a hair 🤦🏻‍♀️ I passed all the others on the first try and now I feel like an old hand at high stakes tests... so I’m trying to get pumped up and treat today like a game day. I went to bed early last night, had a big breakfast this morning... and in a couple hours I head over to the testing center 😳💪

If you have a chance today, would you please send me thoughts/prayers/vibes? It really does make a difference! Just knowing other people are rooting for me to do well makes a difference

You've got this! 💪❤️

43 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

My Godmother's funeral services were Saturday, I did not watch the live stream and I am glad I didnt- FaceTiming with my friend in Taiwan was good for my emotional well being. My cousin and my own BFF watched a bit of the services via live stream and they both said it was good I didnt watch based on all of the ridiculous things the husband was saying at the services.

After the services, my Mom got a call on her drive home from work from W (who was a good friend of my godmother's mother, but the same age as my god mother and Mom) and she said when she didn't see my Mom OR me there (she knows one of us may have had to stay home to care for my sister) she had to call and check in. W did not go to the cemetery, but they were able to have a nice chat and reminisce about my god mother's life. W said who knew in 11yrs my godmother would follow her own mother.

My Mom is so sad- we were prepared bury my godmother this year- things didn't look good and we knew it, but I didn't expect this if you had asked me on New Year's Day.

Tomorrow I am headed back to the hospital to visit my great aunt E (86yrs old, dementia), things are not looking good for her either. She now wont eat any foods, I have been bringing her milkshakes, and tomorrow I will try a Frappuccino. At least its calories and the coffee flavor will be pleasing to her. My heart is so heavy and filled with hurt, but truthfully I am numb.

My Mom's bday is Thursday (yup an April Fool's baby). I need to get her flowers and a card, I have all her gifts ready.

 

Cosmo is well. I think am going to keep him stocked in the Buddy Biscuits. I like the 3.5lbs bag and the ingredients. I must keep this dog in proper treats or I will be forced to sleep in the stairwell. 

(((hugs)))  ❤️

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2 hours ago, rue721 said:

This afternoon, I take what will hopefully be my last CPA exam 🤞🤞 This one is a retake — I tried to take this section first, back in the fall, but I failed it by a hair 🤦🏻‍♀️ I passed all the others on the first try and now I feel like an old hand at high stakes tests... so I’m trying to get pumped up and treat today like a game day. I went to bed early last night, had a big breakfast this morning... and in a couple hours I head over to the testing center 😳💪

If you have a chance today, would you please send me thoughts/prayers/vibes? It really does make a difference! Just knowing other people are rooting for me to do well makes a difference

Good luck. You. Are. Amazing!Lady Gaga Compliment GIF

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6 hours ago, QuinnInND said:

I saw on the news this morning that the CDC says that it's now OK for people who are fully vaccinated to gather unmasked.  Not sure when I will be comfortable with that. 

I've done it twice and in about an hour will do it again!  

What made it easier for me was they were all relatives and I'd been gathering masked outside with them.

I get to hug my mom for the first time in over a year!  

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6 hours ago, rue721 said:

This afternoon, I take what will hopefully be my last CPA exam 🤞🤞 This one is a retake — I tried to take this section first, back in the fall, but I failed it by a hair 🤦🏻‍♀️ I passed all the others on the first try and now I feel like an old hand at high stakes tests... so I’m trying to get pumped up and treat today like a game day. I went to bed early last night, had a big breakfast this morning... and in a couple hours I head over to the testing center 😳💪

If you have a chance today, would you please send me thoughts/prayers/vibes? It really does make a difference! Just knowing other people are rooting for me to do well makes a difference

You’ve got it! I know you will do great! What a wonderful feeling when this test is over!

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Thank you for your well wishes, everyone!!! It really means a lot. With these exams you can never really tell, but I felt better on the problems than on the multiple choice, and I’m basically certain that I got the research question correct, and that’s similar to how I felt about the exams that I passed... in general, this felt a lot more like the exams I’ve passed than the exams I’ve failed, so... 🤞🤞😬 Cautiously optimistic! And the best part is, I don’t have to study tonight!!!! 😁

Phew... thank you for being there for me. It actually has helped way more than even makes sense 😂 

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2 minutes ago, rue721 said:

Thank you for your well wishes, everyone!!! It really means a lot. With these exams you can never really tell, but I felt better on the problems than on the multiple choice, and I’m basically certain that I got the research question correct, and that’s similar to how I felt about the exams that I passed... in general, this felt a lot more like the exams I’ve passed than the exams I’ve failed, so... 🤞🤞😬 Cautiously optimistic! And the best part is, I don’t have to study tonight!!!! 😁

Phew... thank you for being there for me. It actually has helped way more than even makes sense 😂 

That's great! I think you passed! 🙂 And you've more than earned a night off from studying! 

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I have really been devolving today in terms of dealing with the changing nature of this pandemic. I started the day stressed out over a bachelorette party that I'm definitely not going to, then fell into sadness over not going to my brother's wedding in June, either. He and his fiance announced in January that they were eloping in a state 10 hours from us, and that family was welcome to come watch them get married, but there wouldn't be a reception or formal party. The marriage will take place in a national park, and they are requiring that anyone coming needs to be vaccinated. I had no idea in January if I would be able to get a complete vaccine cycle before early June, as I am in the very last eligible group, and the weekend they picked is literally the only weekend this entire year that we have plans (an event for my children tied to the one activity they've continued with this year, that would cause a lot of heartache to pull them from), so I decided not to attend the wedding. Even if I am vaccinated, my children won't be, and I don't especially want to drive 20 hours round trip with them for a half hour wedding ceremony, or end up having to take them to a restaurant where they can't be masked, or commit to paying for lodging months in advance when I don't even have a vaccine appointment made.

I thought I was at peace with this decision, but now it looks like I'll be the only member of my immediate family not attending, and most are even planning to spend 4-5 days doing a little vacation together.  I hate being the only person to miss out on something like this because they will probably talk about it for quite some time and I'll be the only one who wasn't there. I often feel frustrated at family gatherings because most of my siblings have different ideas of how to best spend a holiday than I do (they are all foodie types obsessed with the latest trendy restaurants and craft beers and most of them don't have kids...I am a super picky eater and I hate beer, plus can't always leave for an evening or drag the kids with me to these places; I would rather be at home with a little pot luck/buffet dinner spread, chatting and watching movies or something). So anyway...I have felt like a bit of a fish out of water for years now, and the thought of everyone taking this wedding trip together just makes me feel more left behind. I know it's my own decision not to go and it's not fair to feel upset at all of them for also making their own decisions...but I can't pretend it doesn't feel terrible anyway.

It feels like the rush to reopen social activities in general is starting to hit my world - bachelorette parties and weddings, requests from other parents for playdates, my in-laws who attend church with dubious safety policies wanting to visit again now that some of them are vaccinated...it's too much for me to handle at this point. I'm not vaccinated, my kids aren't, I feel pressured to "go back to normal" and my job is so stressful most days I feel too burnt out mentally to deal with decision-making and determining what is safe. I'm a person who absolutely can and will say no if I don't want to do something, but I don't enjoy it and find the whole process of saying no to be mentally exhausting and stressful in itself. Then after grappling with these thoughts all day while also trying to work, I make the mistake of going on social media and seeing all these people doing all the things I've been worrying over seemingly without a care in the world - restaurant eating, vacationing, maskless parties, kids with their friends. Ugh.

I'm sure this is the extreme introvert in me, but I honestly miss being in lockdown throughout much of last spring and summer. No one was asking me to go out or take my kids out. It was wonderful not having that extra layer of stress about trying to make the right choices about what was safe or having to tell anyone no. I just did my work and played with my kids and enjoyed being home with them. There was stress over my husband being in healthcare, which was not fun at all, but I'd honestly take that over my current level of stress in a heartbeat.

I guess I would be happier if I just moved to a cabin in the wilderness where no one can find me until someone shows up at my door with a vaccine. ☹

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@thehorseofpower I am sorry you’re struggling. I am a huge extrovert who spends her weekends taking care of a “Tall Toddler” so I feel the HUNGER to get back out in the world, and I’m a huge foodie who loves trendy things, no partner or kids (so the complete opposite of you preference wise) BUT I believe you have every single right AND duty to do what’s best for YOUR HOUSEHOLD.

 

If other people don’t respect that FUCK THEM. For real. You have to do what you (and your husband) think is best for your family, and if people can’t respect your choices and treat them with dignity then they have their own issues and need to take a long look in the mirror. 
 

I am sorry you will miss your brother’s wedding but we are still in a pandemic, and 10hrs is a LONG ASS WAY. My first thought was “who drives that long, why don’t you fly???”🤣 Either way you have a job, a family and your own well being to consider, it’s sad to miss out on things you would like to attend but if anyone had any reason to miss anything 2020/2021 give excellent reasons. 
 

edit- OF COURSE you can drive if you want to, I was just empathizing with the distance. 

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2 hours ago, thehorseofpower said:

I have really been devolving today in terms of dealing with the changing nature of this pandemic. I started the day stressed out over a bachelorette party that I'm definitely not going to, then fell into sadness over not going to my brother's wedding in June, either. He and his fiance announced in January that they were eloping in a state 10 hours from us, and that family was welcome to come watch them get married, but there wouldn't be a reception or formal party. The marriage will take place in a national park, and they are requiring that anyone coming needs to be vaccinated. I had no idea in January if I would be able to get a complete vaccine cycle before early June, as I am in the very last eligible group, and the weekend they picked is literally the only weekend this entire year that we have plans (an event for my children tied to the one activity they've continued with this year, that would cause a lot of heartache to pull them from), so I decided not to attend the wedding. Even if I am vaccinated, my children won't be, and I don't especially want to drive 20 hours round trip with them for a half hour wedding ceremony, or end up having to take them to a restaurant where they can't be masked, or commit to paying for lodging months in advance when I don't even have a vaccine appointment made.

I thought I was at peace with this decision, but now it looks like I'll be the only member of my immediate family not attending, and most are even planning to spend 4-5 days doing a little vacation together.  I hate being the only person to miss out on something like this because they will probably talk about it for quite some time and I'll be the only one who wasn't there. I often feel frustrated at family gatherings because most of my siblings have different ideas of how to best spend a holiday than I do (they are all foodie types obsessed with the latest trendy restaurants and craft beers and most of them don't have kids...I am a super picky eater and I hate beer, plus can't always leave for an evening or drag the kids with me to these places; I would rather be at home with a little pot luck/buffet dinner spread, chatting and watching movies or something). So anyway...I have felt like a bit of a fish out of water for years now, and the thought of everyone taking this wedding trip together just makes me feel more left behind. I know it's my own decision not to go and it's not fair to feel upset at all of them for also making their own decisions...but I can't pretend it doesn't feel terrible anyway.

It feels like the rush to reopen social activities in general is starting to hit my world - bachelorette parties and weddings, requests from other parents for playdates, my in-laws who attend church with dubious safety policies wanting to visit again now that some of them are vaccinated...it's too much for me to handle at this point. I'm not vaccinated, my kids aren't, I feel pressured to "go back to normal" and my job is so stressful most days I feel too burnt out mentally to deal with decision-making and determining what is safe. I'm a person who absolutely can and will say no if I don't want to do something, but I don't enjoy it and find the whole process of saying no to be mentally exhausting and stressful in itself. Then after grappling with these thoughts all day while also trying to work, I make the mistake of going on social media and seeing all these people doing all the things I've been worrying over seemingly without a care in the world - restaurant eating, vacationing, maskless parties, kids with their friends. Ugh.

I'm sure this is the extreme introvert in me, but I honestly miss being in lockdown throughout much of last spring and summer. No one was asking me to go out or take my kids out. It was wonderful not having that extra layer of stress about trying to make the right choices about what was safe or having to tell anyone no. I just did my work and played with my kids and enjoyed being home with them. There was stress over my husband being in healthcare, which was not fun at all, but I'd honestly take that over my current level of stress in a heartbeat.

I guess I would be happier if I just moved to a cabin in the wilderness where no one can find me until someone shows up at my door with a vaccine. ☹

Why not ask your brother and his fiancee to let you attend the wedding via Zoom?  That way, you can see the whole ceremony and get a chance to add your good wishes to those of the rest of the family.  For that matter, you could also drop in on the reception or other family activities that way too.  It's not hard to set it up.  You have another commitment that prevents you from attending in person, but that doesn't mean you can't join in on the festivities. You've got young kids and they don't.  Your priorities are simply not the same as theirs.  

I think, as things start to return to pre-pandemic ways, a lot of people are going to be experiencing anxiety and stress as they're faced with the decision as to when they are going to be ready to got back out there.  You've got a lot of company.

Edited by doodlebug
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I have a friend who had to cancel invitations to her spring beach wedding last year due to covid, but most everyone attended by Zoom and it was great. We got a chance to say congratulations and the couple could see us on their computer. They limited their guests to immediate family only.  I felt like I actually attended!  
 

I would never expect anyone to drive that far under current state of covid, especially with children.  I’m fully vaxed, but still.....I’d have no trouble doing what is right for your family.

 Social media doesn’t interest me.  It works for some, but isn’t my thing.  I think a lot of what people put on social media is fake or bragging.  Just my suspicion.  

Edited by SunnyBeBe
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28 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I would never expect anyone to drive that far under current state of covid, especially with children.  I’m fully vaxed, but still.....I’d have no trouble doing what is right for your family.

Same. One of my closest friends and I were texting earlier this week. She's getting her second shot tomorrow, and I should get mine in a couple of weeks. In theory, we should be able to see each other by the end of April. And if she lived close by, I wouldn't have a problem going to her house. That's what we usually do. I drive over her to place, so we can spend the day hanging out and watching movies and talking shit about other people we went to school with while her husband hides from us. LOL But she lives about 2.5 hours from me, and that's not a terribly long drive. But it's not a drive I am interested in making right now. I usually end up stopping on the way there and on the way back. I just don't feel comfortable doing that even if I am vaccinated, but I also don't really want to do a 5-hour round trip without stopping. 

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On 3/27/2021 at 9:09 PM, doodlebug said:

Back when I was a resident, I had an old beater of a car (a Dodge Aspen, terrible machine).  Unbeknownst to me, the oil light didn't work, it needed a fuse or something.  I had the oil changed just before Christmas when I was on call.  The day after Christmas, we had a terrible cold snap, 13 below zero with wind warnings.  I needed to drive from one hospital to another to work, about a 15 minute drive.  Car stopped dead on the freeway, 7 AM, the day after Christmas, no traffic, 13 below.  This was in the days before cell phones.  Ended up walking on the freeway until a very nice older gentleman and his wife picked me up in their Rambler (!0 and dropped me off at a donut shop that was open so I could call for help.  In addition to the man and his wife, their pet poodle, who was wearing a fur coat (not her fur) and hat was with them.  It was surreal.  

Turned out, the garage that did the oil change hadn't tightened the cap well enough and the oil slowly leaked out and the engine locked.  Bye, bye Dodge Aspen!  I ended up having to run around and figure out how to get a down payment for a new car which I got before New Years'.  The only good thing was that I bought a Toyota Tercel and it was a fantastic little car that I drove for years and gave to one of my sisters who drove it for many more.

OMG!  My very first (used) car was a Dodge Aspen!  Mine was a Special Edition though!  It was a terrible machine, and a huge gas hog.

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I think everyone needs to gracious to themselves and others during this lengthy and somewhat premature transition time, which ever 'side' you're on.

I'm still feeling extra cautious and will likely spend this Summer tiptoeing back into some sense of normalcy. Depending how the vaccine rollout and decline in covid cases go, I actually anticipate having renewed concerns as we approach our first post pandemic Winter.

On the other hand, my friend already has her tickets and reservations for a vacation for this May.

As you can see my friend and I are on opposites ends, as the country transitions, yet we've been mostly on the same page during this last year. I'm I being overly cautious? Maybe. Is she being a wee bit reckless? Maybe. But I need to do me and she needs to do her.

I might miss out on a few things, but I also might miss putting myself in the middle of a covid cluster. Right now I'm okay with that and I refuse to be embarrassed over my slow transition.

I hope everyone on here finds a pace during this transition that is comfortable for them.

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@thehorseofpower, All of us who have tried to be cautious and follow the Covid rules have felt frustration, as well as jealousy, for those ignoring the restrictions, and living life as if it is normal times. And to be honest, it is very annoying to know that so far they have gotten away with it without any consequences. Except for the ones who tragically didn’t, and their families. Especially tragic for those who contacted it caring for people who declined to follow the protocols.
I think you are in a no win situation as far as the wedding goes. If you stay home you will feel bad about missing the wedding. If you go, you will feel terrible about making your kids miss their year ending special event. Aside from feeling bad about missing out on actually just being there, it doesn’t sound like you would have much fun at most of the events. Since your comfort zone and life style seem far away from most of your relatives’, I believe you made the right choice. 

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8 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Social media doesn’t interest me.  It works for some, but isn’t my thing.  I think a lot of what people put on social media is fake or bragging.  Just my suspicion.  

I took a little social media break at the start of the pandemic, I still have my accounts, but I took my Facebook app off my phone, only spend at most 10min a day on instagram- that's the goal, I have a timer. (the pretty photos are nice) I have only posted on Facebook via instagram posts when my cats died. It has been one of the BEST things I could've done for myself. There was far too much NOISE out there, that I didn't need to listen to. I have made a few friends via Facebook groups and things (friends of friends I wouldn't have gotten to know otherwise) but it has done me a world of good to only focus on the voices of a few people I actually care about (and care about me). 

It's been a YEAR and at the start I said I would see how I liked it, and now the only thing I am wondering is how much time I spent on there all these years when I could've been doing something else! It's done wonders for me. Just wonders.

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@Scarlett45 - I took FB off of my phone too. It's only on my laptop and I scroll by all things political. I'm much happier. We have a private family group and there are messenger threads regarding the health of my Mom & sister. Those are useful. I only go on Instagram once in a while. I agree that the pretty pics are nice! I never post any myself, though!

I actually don't like destination weddings. It's so expensive to get there and often the old folks can't make it, which is sad. If a couple wants to elope, that's fine, but to me elopement is for two, not everyone else. I know lots of people feel differently, but I think people have to do what's right for them, especially in a pandemic! I would guess @thehorseofpower, that some attendees will not be vaccinated. I think that people lying about that is going to be a thing we all have to deal with.

Today promises to be a lovely spring day in the midwest, followed by a cold day tomorrow. I've had some really enjoyable walks, lately!🌼

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1 minute ago, BetyBee said:

@Scarlett45 - I took FB off of my phone too. It's only on my laptop and I scroll by all things political. I'm much happier. We have a private family group and there are messenger threads regarding the health of my Mom & sister. Those are useful. I only go on Instagram once in a while. I agree that the pretty pics are nice! I never post any myself, though!

I actually don't like destination weddings. It's so expensive to get there and often the old folks can't make it, which is sad. If a couple wants to elope, that's fine, but to me elopement is for two, not everyone else. I know lots of people feel differently, but I think people have to do what's right for them, especially in a pandemic! I would guess @thehorseofpower, that some attendees will not be vaccinated. I think that people lying about that is going to be a thing we all have to deal with.

Today promises to be a lovely spring day in the midwest, followed by a cold day tomorrow. I've had some really enjoyable walks, lately!🌼

Yes, tomorrow and Thursday are going to be cold again (I am breaking out the Omni Heat coat to walk the baby man and drive my Mom around for her birthday jaunts). Yesterday Cosmo looked like he had a wind machine on him all day it was so windy!🤣

 

I actually love destination weddings, but again I just use it as my "vacation" for the year, and all of my family lives in Chicago-land so I am never traveling to see family. However when you have a destination wedding people should understand that not everyone will be able to get there! (I do think that's why people have them, to keep the guest count down) My last destination wedding was in 2014 to see my college roomate/friend get married the Saturday after USA thanksgiving. She was supposed to come here in June 2020, but of course "pandemic".

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6 hours ago, Love2dance said:

@thehorseofpower, All of us who have tried to be cautious and follow the Covid rules have felt frustration, as well as jealousy, for those ignoring the restrictions, and living life as if it is normal times. And to be honest, it is very annoying to know that so far they have gotten away with it without any consequences. Except for the ones who tragically didn’t, and their families. Especially tragic for those who contacted it caring for people who declined to follow the protocols.
I think you are in a no win situation as far as the wedding goes. If you stay home you will feel bad about missing the wedding. If you go, you will feel terrible about making your kids miss their year ending special event. Aside from feeling bad about missing out on actually just being there, it doesn’t sound like you would have much fun at most of the events. Since your comfort zone and life style seem far away from most of your relatives’, I believe you made the right choice. 

You really hit the nail on the head with your last paragraph - no matter if I went or not, I will end up feeling badly about something. And I probably would not have the greatest time there anyway. Family events are always fun in my head, but not so much in reality much of the time.

This sounds terrible, but I actually didn't mind not seeing family for Christmas this year- there was no worry about everyone else wanting to do something that I didn't, or feeling frustrated because no one would spend just one evening at someone's house instead of going out. No feeling angry at myself for "missing out" on something I wouldn't even enjoy, or feeling like a weird person for being the only one who doesn't enjoy the same things as others. It was actually kind of pleasant just feeling content and not left out of various happenings. Which also makes me feel bad, that I seemingly can't be happy just allowing others to do what they want to do and be satisfied with a choice to sit out, but want everyone else to stay home too so I don't have to feel conflicted about being the only weird one. 😕

I should probably add that I do get along with my family quite well, and enjoy hanging out with various members on a more one-to-one basis, where it doesn't feel like me against a crowd. It's just the bigger gatherings that end up making me feel frustrated and like the odd man out.

Thanks to all for reading my long rant...yesterday was a low point on this Covid rollercoaster, for sure. 😩

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3 minutes ago, thehorseofpower said:

This sounds terrible, but I actually didn't mind not seeing family for Christmas this year- there was no worry about everyone else wanting to do something that I didn't, or feeling frustrated because no one would spend just one evening at someone's house instead of going out. No feeling angry at myself for "missing out" on something I wouldn't even enjoy, or feeling like a weird person for being the only one who doesn't enjoy the same things as others. It was actually kind of pleasant just feeling content and not left out of various happenings. Which also makes me feel bad, that I seemingly can't be happy just allowing others to do what they want to do and be satisfied with a choice to sit out, but want everyone else to stay home too so I don't have to feel conflicted about being the only weird one. 😕

I don't think you sound terrible. I think its human nature to want to be around people who are "like us", especially if those people are the people we love. Again I am the opposite of you preference wise, but I can understand wanting the people you love to like the things you like and want to do the things you want to do. 

 

Some of us are born into families like that, some of us make families like that (either through marriage/partnering, procreation) and other us of find a tribe like that (friends etc).

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5 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I think everyone needs to gracious to themselves and others during this lengthy and somewhat premature transition time, which ever 'side' you're on.

I'm still feeling extra cautious and will likely spend this Summer tiptoeing back into some sense of normalcy. Depending how the vaccine rollout and decline in covid cases go, I actually anticipate having renewed concerns as we approach our first post pandemic Winter.

On the other hand, my friend already has her tickets and reservations for a vacation for this May.

As you can see my friend and I are on opposites ends, as the country transitions, yet we've been mostly on the same page during this last year. I'm I being overly cautious? Maybe. Is she being a wee bit reckless? Maybe. But I need to do me and she needs to do her.

I might miss out on a few things, but I also might miss putting myself in the middle of a covid cluster. Right now I'm okay with that and I refuse to be embarrassed over my slow transition.

I hope everyone on here finds a pace during this transition that is comfortable for them.

The whole quarantine has not really been difficult at all for us, as we have maintained our little "bubble" between my daughter's little family and my mom, but are all mostly pretty introverted types. While Connecticut was a hot spot at the very start of the pandemic, we were actually in very good shape over the summer. And even though we couldn't fight off a significant "spike" over the holiday season, we are in a pretty rural area which hasn't seen the worst of it by far. So I don't think we have really had a a whole lot of personal stress about Covid. Just taking the normal precautions made us feel safe enough for the most part. But it surely will be nice to be able to go out to eat, and do those sorts of things again. 

We are planning a bit of a road trip in, probably, a couple of months. We'll both be fully vaccinated in the next week and a half, and want to go visit both sons, and some friends along the way. Older son is in Maryland, and the younger one is in the process of finally transferring out of Pensacola, and will be in South Carolina. Also need to drive up to New Hampshire at some point to check on some land we own there, because we are looking at the possibility of putting a vacation place up there that the family will be able to use - Or even for us to move to ourselves once we are ready to downsize from this place. My parents bought a 1/2 acre lot there years and years ago, and were approached, five or six years ago, about the possibility of purchasing an adjacent lot, which someone had inherited but wasn't interested in. So we bought that, and then last year, the lot on the other side of Mom's became available as well, so we figured that having all three of them would increase the value (the land is still dead cheap up there - it really hasn't been quite the investment it once seemed it might be, but it's still a really gorgeous area, with rights to a couple of private lakes, and has been, ever so slowly, getting a bit more settled). Mr Jyn has never actually seen it yet because he was kind of pouting over it not actually having a water view, but he's coming around.

Here's a photo of one of the lakefronts that I found on their website.

th.jpg

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Yes, the next COVID pandemic phase may be as frustrating as the rest of it. People not being vaccinated and being assh*les about it. People not being vaccinated and lying about it. People like me who are vaccinated and trying to navigate my way around town as safely as I can. Sigh.

I am truly grateful to be fully vaccinated, as I deal with my late friend's estate as the executor under her will. I am trekking in and out of her condo which is a few miles from my home. I will have to meet with appraisers, Realtors®, movers, and more. I can do many things by phone and Zoom, but not all of it. I don't want to just shut things down and wait for the pandemic to pass, and I'm not sure if I could even do that legally. (I am scheduling consultations with estate lawyers and plan to hire one; this estate is big enough, and the will's requirements are complex enough, to need it; the estate can afford it, and I intend to get it.)

Yesterday I wrapped up my 14-month temporary assignment with a company that I enjoy working for. Drove over to the office and handed over the company laptop and my building access badge. Not that I'd used the badge for more than a year, lol. I came home, about 3pm, and suddenly felt absolutely drained of energy. Took a long nap. I was ready to be done, although the email that the head of our team sent to the whole department, said she expected and hoped I'd be back again. It felt good to be recognized like that. As I said, a good group to work for  and with. 

Once I'm at a phase where the daily tasks of my friend's estate are lighter, I intend to work with a couple of my cousins (guys who are very handy with tools and wood and such), to get my minivan set up for travel and camping. I don't see myself hitting the road anytime soon for out of state trips, but I have hopes of exploring around here with day trips or a few short camping trips. We'll see. 

@thehorseofpower, I'm an introvert, and we do live in an extroverted world. I'm sorry your family's behavior isn't a better fit for you. I'm gonna get all judgey here and say they seem either oblivious to your discomfort with big gatherings, or cruelly uncaring about it. You don't have to agree with my harsh assessment; they ARE your family and I'm sure they aren't bad people. But still, would it kill them to be a little generous toward you? Would they lose anything by not griping if you don't make an arduous journey with kids during a f*cking pandemic to a faraway wedding?  Have the words, "I don't really get how you feel, but you've told me, and I will try to respect your feelings" ever crossed their lips? Or their brains?

Sorry to let my inner bitch out here, but your story sort of grinds my gears. I'm sure you don't sit around at family gatherings whining and ruining anybody else's fun. But you do get full up with the noise and activity sooner than they do, and appreciate a quieter calmer atmosphere. It looks like they expect you to do everything their way, and can't imagine that they might at least not get their shorts in a knot if you want to bow out early or miss a few events. As I said, sorry to be trash talking your family but it doesn't sound as if you and your relatives have achieved a good balance of temperaments and expectations. I hope it gets better over time.

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@thehorseofpowerI'm an extrovert living in an introvert world.  I too have enjoyed the pandemic and everybody sheltering in place!

I was always the one having and planning the parties.  Then we bought a lake house and we were it from Easter through Thanksgiving.

Once we sold the lake house and the kids all moved to different states we are alone most holidays except for one of two that might drop by.

Never having much of a family myself...no brothers, sisters or cousins.  Just me and my bi polar mother nobody to share holidays with.

The pandemic just wasn't that bad for us!

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21 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

I am scheduling consultations with estate lawyers and plan to hire one; this estate is big enough, and the will's requirements are complex enough, to need it; the estate can afford it, and I intend to get it.)

Can you use the lawyer who drew up the will?

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26 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

 

@thehorseofpower, I'm an introvert, and we do live in an extroverted world. I'm sorry your family's behavior isn't a better fit for you. I'm gonna get all judgey here and say they seem either oblivious to your discomfort with big gatherings, or cruelly uncaring about it. You don't have to agree with my harsh assessment; they ARE your family and I'm sure they aren't bad people. But still, would it kill them to be a little generous toward you? Would they lose anything by not griping if you don't make an arduous journey with kids during a f*cking pandemic to a faraway wedding?  Have the words, "I don't really get how you feel, but you've told me, and I will try to respect your feelings" ever crossed their lips? Or their brains?

Sorry to let my inner bitch out here, but your story sort of grinds my gears. I'm sure you don't sit around at family gatherings whining and ruining anybody else's fun. But you do get full up with the noise and activity sooner than they do, and appreciate a quieter calmer atmosphere. It looks like they expect you to do everything their way, and can't imagine that they might at least not get their shorts in a knot if you want to bow out early or miss a few events. As I said, sorry to be trash talking your family but it doesn't sound as if you and your relatives have achieved a good balance of temperaments and expectations. I hope it gets better over time.

Hahaha....no worries, it feels kind of good to read your indignation on my behalf! 😄 I tend to spend a lot of time thinking about and analyzing my own feelings and reactions to things and trying to figure out what I could do differently in certain situations, and when I'm the only one who seems to react to things in a particular way, that leads to feeling like I must always be in the wrong or the weird one or whatever. So thank you. 😘

My family hasn't complained directly to me or tried to guilt me about not coming to the wedding at this point, but I keep getting included on text messages or conversations about people's plans for carpooling and lodging and activities and such, which leads to my sadness of being left out of a shared experience. Just take me off your text strings, people! It's not that hard!

A couple of years ago my brother who lives very far away and whom I rarely see came to visit around Easter, and for a week I barely saw him because he and my siblings and their significant others were going out to eat every single night, and staying out late at bars and such, and then he'd sleep past lunch the day afterward (he comes from a different time zone so is never entirely on the same schedule as everyone else). It was rather depressing on my end. I remember essentially begging them to eat dinner and hang out at my house for one night so my kids could actually interact with their uncle for a couple of hours, and they would not, because there was some restaurant that just HAD to be eaten at and apparently takeout was unacceptable. 😒 Then on one of his last days here, he twisted his ankle badly, and decided to stay for another week to let it heal up a bit before flying home. He stayed at my house for this "convalescence" and was basically confined to my couch. This was the only point when I finally got some time with him - we talked a ton, watched some fun shows together, my kids brought toys and books over to his couch area to interact with him, and it was all around a nice time, which he SEEMED to enjoy as well. I flat out told him, "I know you're furious about your ankle, but frankly...I wouldn't have even seen you if you hadn't injured yourself, and I had a great time with you." Don't think that really got through, though, as not much changed that following Christmas. I guess I just don't understand why making a point to stay in for a quieter evening and really talking to people in a personal way isn't higher on the priority list.

This world is definitely built for extroverts and, at least in my experience, it's the introverts who are mostly expected to adapt to those expectations and guilted about being abnormal in some way if you don't want to change your natural inclinations. Although this pandemic has been horribly stressful in a lot of ways, suddenly feeling like I lived in a world built for introverts that everyone else was now expected to adapt to was, honestly, really refreshing. I look forward to some things going "back to normal," but definitely not everything.

 

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One of the issues I've had with people in general as an introvert is people think introvert is a synonym for shy, so they think they just need to help you to overcome your shyness. It just misses the point entirely. I myself am not shy at all, which probably adds to their confusion. 

When I was at C of O, it used to make me so mad that I'd be sitting at a table by myself enjoying the recreational isolation, and some well-meaning nitwit would decide I was lonely and needed friends and come sit with me. UGH. I understand what they were trying to do, and if I had been genuinely lonely and friendless, it would have been a thoughtful gesture. But I wasn't. Get the fuck away and let me isolate in peace! 

I even had someone ask me if I was suicidal because I was walking alone at night. Actually just really enjoying being by myself and solo jamming out to some Pink Floyd before you came along, well-meaning nitwit! 🙄

 

Edited by Zella
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1 hour ago, thehorseofpower said:

I guess I just don't understand why making a point to stay in for a quieter evening and really talking to people in a personal way isn't higher on the priority list.

Yes, this is my preferred mode of interaction. I hate parties. I can handle about an hour or two and then I am done. And even then, I've usually withdrawn to a corner to talk to someone individually or I have retreated into a herd of other introverts who don't want to be there.

I love talking one on one with people, though. I can do that for hours.

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17 minutes ago, Zella said:

Yes, this is my preferred mode of interaction. I hate parties. I can handle about an hour or two and then I am done. And even then, I've usually withdrawn to a corner to talk to someone individually or I have retreated into a herd of other introverts who don't want to be there.

I love talking one on one with people, though. I can do that for hours.

This is me. I really have to watch myself, though, as sometimes I don't know when to stop, and I know that other people are probably wanting to sign off and go talk to someone else for a change. Plus, as I've mentioned, I tend not to have filters, and will overshare way too readily.

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22 minutes ago, Zella said:

One of the issues I've had with people in general as an introvert is people think introvert is a synonym for shy, so they think they just need to help you to overcome your shyness. It just misses the point entirely. I myself am not shy at all, which probably adds to their confusion. 

 

Yes! I work in a very extrovert-heavy department, and I can't count the number of times I have worked on a project with someone who I knew of, but hadn't worked with closely before, who ends up expressing shock that "you're not timid and speak your mind" or that "you actually have a great sense of humor."  I'm like....thanks, I guess? So I suppose people who don't know me assume I am meek and humorless because I don't like to be the center of attention in a meeting or don't sit with big groups at lunch. We're a misunderstood lot, I tell ya! It does make me wonder how often a qualified introvert is passed over for promotions or other opportunities in the workplace in general, given the snap judgements that seem to be made about people who prefer small groups or one on one interaction....

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Yeah, I love hanging out with my friends and family and everyone one-on-one, but anything happening in a big group is exhausting. I love people and am happy to chat with strangers and all that, but even walking outside of my own apartment has gotten exhausting, because it's a whole neighborhood of enormous high-rises and so there are always a million people saying hello or needing something or trying to make conversation or in the way of you doing whatever it is you need to do. And that's WITH pandemic isolation!

Luckily, I'm moving out of the DC area to the Baltimore area -- which in many ways is the same area, but in terms of housing is REALLY really not. The DC market is insane, but there are detached houses with big yards priced at under a half a mil in the Baltimore suburbs, and I CANNOT WAIT to move into one and finally be able to chill outside with a few buddies around a fire pit or just sit by myself out on the porch or do some gardening out in the yard with my headphones in. That is so much more my speed. 

13 minutes ago, thehorseofpower said:

It does make me wonder how often a qualified introvert is passed over for promotions or other opportunities in the workplace in general, given the snap judgements that seem to be made about people who prefer small groups or one on one interaction....

Maybe it depends on whether the people doing the promoting are more introverted themselves! Small networks of very close friends who like to hang out one-on-one seem like they could be very effective, maybe more than big, loose networks of acquaintances even. Here's hoping, anyway.

I was a bartender/waitress for a long time (a decade, on and off), and it taught me a ton about social skills and was a huge help in terms of getting me to stretch my comfort zone, which is why I'm so comfortable talking with anybody now. But I'm an introvert at heart, and have specifically tried to choose jobs since then that let me do more thinking and analyzing (all at my own desk) and a whole lot less running around in a big scrum and chatting nonstop. I feel like, stretching your comfort zone is great, but you've also got to accept who you are and tailor your life to fit that.

@emmawoodhouse I'll hear whether I passed yesterday's exam in just over a week -- probably next Thursday or Friday. Fingers crossed! I'm completely distracted today... this is why I always try to take my exams at the very end of the testing window, but even though I make my wait as short as possible, it is SO nerve-wracking!

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7 minutes ago, rue721 said:

a whole neighborhood of enormous high-rises and so there are always a million people saying hello or needing something or trying to make conversation or in the way of you doing whatever it is you need to do

Having grown up in the middle of nowhere in rural Arkansas, I was overwhelmed moving to an apartment complex in Fayetteville, and it wasn't high-rises! I can't even imagine dealing with a high-rise. 

But I found people there in Fayetteville kind of unfriendly, which also confused me. People are big wavers around here where I live. (Like, when we did curbside service early in the pandemic, we realized our instructions for them to drive off before we retrieved our container for library books was never going to work because they wouldn't leave until they could wave at you. It was kind of adorable.) 

The waving doesn't obligate you to talk to them here, which is a relief to me as an introvert, so I've just gotten used to that as standard social interaction. I found it weird when I lived in Fayetteville to see someone I saw every day in that apartment parking lot and not acknowledge them. I didn't want to talk to them, but it felt rude to not nod or wave? But they wouldn't look at you, so you just had to ignore them too. I talked to one of my academic advisors about that, and he was from Oakland originally, and he thought it was weird too. Every now and then, people would tell me Fayetteville was the friendliest town they ever lived in, and I wondered where the hell they came from. LOL

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Well I had a repairman come in and look at my washing machine.  He pulled it out looked at the bottom of the machine. He ran a diagnostic and fiddled around with it. The he turned it on and it worked.  He said he did not know what was wrong that maybe doing tge diagnostic reset something. It cost $99.00 which is fine because I have a working washer but ot would have been nice to know what was wrong. 

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On a different note, has anyone ever heard of a "supertaster," or think you might be one? 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supertaster

The last time my family gathered for a holiday and spent the whole time going to various trendy restaurants and making fun of my tamer suggestions for food options (like The Olive Garden - the GOOD one, of course!) I started googling goofy things like "am I the only one who's not a foodie?" And, I came upon articles on "supertasters" who have heightened sensitivities to many flavors and types of foods, such as certain bitter greens/vegetables, spicy foods, strong coffee, carbonated water and beer, among other things.

It describes me so perfectly it's almost scary, and finally gave an explanation to many of my food aversions beyond just being "picky." People close to me are always trying to get me to "branch out" in food choices and I've grown so weary of this because I'm 38 years old...it's not like I haven't tried many types of food by now. I just don't like a lot of them and I don't see it changing. Or, they make fun of my inability to tolerate any kind of spicy heat in my food. Most of my siblings used to be pretty picky with their food as children but have grown out of it to become adventurous eaters, whereas I never really did. The science behind being a supertaster seems to be a gene that makes you more sensitive to bitter flavors, and/or the presence of more taste buds than average. Although I have no proof that I actually am physically a supertaster, the description is so on the mark I have a hard time thinking I'm not. It makes me feel better to think that I really may taste things differently from others and it's not me being unwilling to give new flavors a chance or just being picky. Sharing for the other "picky eaters" out there. 😊

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24 minutes ago, thehorseofpower said:

On a different note, has anyone ever heard of a "supertaster," or think you might be one? 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supertaster

The last time my family gathered for a holiday and spent the whole time going to various trendy restaurants and making fun of my tamer suggestions for food options (like The Olive Garden - the GOOD one, of course!) I started googling goofy things like "am I the only one who's not a foodie?" And, I came upon articles on "supertasters" who have heightened sensitivities to many flavors and types of foods, such as certain bitter greens/vegetables, spicy foods, strong coffee, carbonated water and beer, among other things.

It describes me so perfectly it's almost scary, and finally gave an explanation to many of my food aversions beyond just being "picky." People close to me are always trying to get me to "branch out" in food choices and I've grown so weary of this because I'm 38 years old...it's not like I haven't tried many types of food by now. I just don't like a lot of them and I don't see it changing. Or, they make fun of my inability to tolerate any kind of spicy heat in my food. Most of my siblings used to be pretty picky with their food as children but have grown out of it to become adventurous eaters, whereas I never really did. The science behind being a supertaster seems to be a gene that makes you more sensitive to bitter flavors, and/or the presence of more taste buds than average. Although I have no proof that I actually am physically a supertaster, the description is so on the mark I have a hard time thinking I'm not. It makes me feel better to think that I really may taste things differently from others and it's not me being unwilling to give new flavors a chance or just being picky. Sharing for the other "picky eaters" out there. 😊

I'm familiar with the concept.  I know it goes beyond my food quirks.  For me, cilantro tastes like soap, I do not like fish, sour cream is pointless, and I cannot eat raw onions.  

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