Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Lemur]

Property Brothers does that too.  Here's an old house with fantastic character .... which we're going to rip out to give you Open Concept. Ugh.  At least they don't screw up the exteriors too much.  (Also, I can't wait until the day when Open Concept dies an ugly death and people want formal dining and living spaces again.  Also also, if you only have two kids, why the hell do you need a five bedroom house?)

 

And then there's Love it Or List It, where I just want to shake Hilary when she starts designing the interior without speaking to an architect, engineer or contractor.  But then again, where would we get any sort of tension about load-bearing walls if they did that?

[JenCarroll]

ok, never mind. Old dog, new trick and all that jazz.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/xjy4mu3q66l0snm/2015-11-16%2016.26.57.jpg?dl=0

There's the jacket...sorry, had to revert to chewing the carpet. It's the best I can do. This blows my mind. I have to figure out HARD artistic values every day of my life and duplicate them in embroidery. But can't make a pic happen on here for love nor money.

And here's a pic of the missionary in Nicaragua who may or may not be a relative and who may or may not (!!!) be causing her mother great concern.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/adtvyf9pqb7s5j6/2015-11-05%2011.05.49.png?dl=0

That jacket is beautiful! Wow. Amazing work. And I see why you're worried about your daughter. Actually now I'm worried about your daughter. Yikes. Hugs to you.

***

Also also, if you only have two kids, why the hell do you need a five bedroom house?)

 

Parents, Child One, Child Two, office, guest room. I mean, just off the top of my head. :-)

[Wellfleet]

Wait- was Wanderwoman a scammer? Or am I misreading?

 

 

As for pets; my dog never gets fed from the table, but occasionally when she won't eat we put BBQ sauce on her food.  (after like 10 hours of not eating).  This usually is followed by a few days where she sits patiently by the bowl looking for sauce... but doesn't get it.   I also always throw her a piece of cereal when I open the bag, so she comes running when she hears it, and is sorely disappointed when DH is the one opening the bag.  He sometimes gives her a small piece of meat or cheese though, which I never do. We spoil the dog rotten.  She especially likes the king size bed we got her, and only begrudgingly lets us sleep in it.

 

I'm trying to find a Christmas ornament to commemorate my litle boy, but nothing looks the way I want it too.  I also am going to talk to a jeweler this weekend about removing a row of stones from my wedding rings and putting in birthstones for him in their place.  I can't decide if I should do November for his delivery or January for his due date. Either is sad, and neither is really "birth".  I just don't wear any other jewerly so I don't want a new piece.

 

Skittl - I love your idea of remembering your baby boy with a tree ornament.  If I may, can I suggest planting a tree too?  This was something which really helped a friend of mine who lost a pre-term baby boy in the early 80s. She and her husband planted a gingko tree in their little boy's memory and STILL live in the same house. They've been able to watch that beautiful little sapling grow taller and stronger every year, and apparently gingkos are one of the "best performers" when it comes to Fall foliage, so they have that to look forward to every year as well. Sometimes I even think they've remained in that house specifically because of the tree.  They planted it where they'd be able to easily see it from their breakfast/casual eating area, and from time to time when I stop by to have coffee, we always sit there to yack - and look out on "David's tree."

[burlsa]

Property Brothers does that too. Here's an old house with fantastic character .... which we're going to rip out to give you Open Concept. Ugh. At least they don't screw up the exteriors too much. (Also, I can't wait until the day when Open Concept dies an ugly death and people want formal dining and living spaces again. Also also, if you only have two kids, why the hell do you need a five bedroom house?)

And then there's Love it Or List It, where I just want to shake Hilary when she starts designing the interior without speaking to an architect, engineer or contractor. But then again, where would we get any sort of tension about load-bearing walls if they did that?

I can't even bring myself to watch HGTV anymore. I get filled with rage. And I can never understand why people need so many damn bedrooms either, especially if the houses have finished basements.

And open concept is a plague. I love traditional homes, and it's so hard to find homes with traditional layouts. People (in my area) destroy the insides of victorians and craftsmans by ripping down walls to open it all up.

If I want to watch a home remodeling show, I'll watch This Old House.

[Skittl1321]

Skittl - I love your idea of remembering your baby boy with a tree ornament.  If I may, can I suggest planting a tree too? 

 

We've thought about it, but had such bad luck with plants I couldn't handle seeing a tree die too.  I mean, we managed to kill hostas. I didn't even know they could die...

 

 

As for bedrooms- we are 2 people in a 5 bedroom house. We meant to add a few kids into it, but so far that isn't going well... 

But right now we have us; office, sewing room (essential!), guest bedroom, and "this was supposed to be the nursery".  Our biggest issue is that my husband does woodworking so we really do need the 3-car garage for his stuff.  This was the smallest house we found with a 3-car garage.  Seriously though, I'd have kids share rooms before giving up my sewing room; that is the only way the house doesn't get trashed is to have stuff contained in there.

[Lemur]

Parents, Child One, Child Two, office, guest room. I mean, just off the top of my head. :-)

 

But it already *has* an office.  Now we need man-caves separate from the kids' play space and mom's craft room.  I mean, I get it.  It's not cool to have three kids sleeping in a room anymore (incredibly common in my neighborhood growing up), but why can't the guest room be the office or the office be a corner of the finished basement?  And what the hell is a man-cave anyway?  People complain that social media is killing families, but Christ, maybe it's the fact that there is no forced togetherness created by the only color TV in the house being in the den?

 

As for bedrooms- we are 2 people in a 5 bedroom house. We meant to add a few kids into it, but so far that isn't going well...

But right now we have us; office, sewing room (essential!), guest bedroom, and "this was supposed to be the nursery".  Our biggest issue is that my husband does woodworking so we really do need the 3-car garage for his stuff.  This was the smallest house we found with a 3-car garage.  Seriously though, I'd have kids share rooms before giving up my sewing room; that is the only way the house doesn't get trashed is to have stuff contained in there.

 

 

And I will say this, woodworking and sewing are two things that I agree actually do need their own spaces.  Woodworking detritus gets everywhere if it's not in it's own space.  And I've spent enough time lugging my mother's sewing machine from the den to the dining room to the living room to the attic to the basement to the den to the pantry that I can totally appreciate a sewing room.  

Edited November 18, 2015 by Lemur

[Lemur]

And open concept is a plague. I love traditional homes, and it's so hard to find homes with traditional layouts. People (in my area) destroy the insides of victorians and craftsmans by ripping down walls to open it all up.

 

One of my buddies re-did a massive East Lake Victorian a couple of years back.  It took him three years.  He kept the central hall with the dual parlors (one is the music room, one is an office), grand staircase, formal dining room, and then expanded the kitchen to a small great room with a breakfast bar and lounge area.   He turned the informal living room into a billiards room because, well, because he's a guy who likes billiards.  I thought he managed to blend the two rather well, but then again, he worked with an excellent architect who is familiar with traditional building forms and designs.  He also owns what he calls a "bullshit luncheonette" which is really a restored 1880's pharmacy with a working soda fashion and a kitchen where they used to fill the prescriptions.  

Edited November 18, 2015 by Lemur

[kokapetl]

Do authentic Victorian houses really have tiny rooms?

[crazycatlady58]

Skittl, have you thought of naming a star? I believe there are places where you could do this or it could be something private between you and your husband, go out in the backyard, find one and that is for your child. I know what you mean about plants. I just killed a hen and bitty. You may try orchid they truly are easy. Just run water throught the mulch once a week till it is damp. I have had one for about 8 months and have not killed it yet.

Edited November 18, 2015 by crazycatlady58

[Lemur]

Do authentic Victorian houses really have tiny rooms?

Yes.  They're small and usually chopped up oddly, especially if they've gone from being a one family to a two-plus family and back.  But the rooms are historically small as it was very difficult to heat and light them back in the 1860-1870-1880-1890's when people were dependent on coal furnaces or wood burning fire places and gas lights.  Also, no closets.  People owned less "stuff" and used clothes presses or wardrobes.  Kitchens were a lot more utilitarian as well, and quite often a later addition to many of the early Victorians.  It's not uncommon to find the kitchen in the back of a house, two steps down from the main floor because it was a later addition that was tied into the structure (and had a servant's bedroom next to it).  Same thing with ground-floor bathrooms.  Also, it's only recently that we've gotten away from the small-house-on-a-big-lot-trend that was predominant for so long and now have zero-setback-lots or big-house-on-small-lots.  The thought being that people aren't as into home cultivation of food sources nor do we have horses to stable.  Though some places, primarily the older, closer-in suburbs are resisting this trend.  I cheer on anyone who doesn't think a custom-built faux-Tuscan Olive Garden on the Green Real Housewives house is something to aspire to.

Edited November 18, 2015 by Lemur

[wilsie]

I love hearing about everyone's pets and homes!  And HFC, the jacket is as cute as you described.  And I am praying for your family, that they come home soon, safe and sound.

[burlsa]

But right now we have us; office, sewing room (essential!), guest bedroom, and "this was supposed to be the nursery".

So do you keep your stamping stuff in your sewing room?

Or did you end up getting rid of it like you had wanted to? BTW, are you the same Skittl1321 that was on Splitcoast Stampers?

[Muffyn]

Here is "my" historic district:

 

https://www.google.com/search?q=ocean+grove+nj+victorian+houses&espv=2&biw=1259&bih=847&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0CBwQsARqFQoTCO3b1NXBmskCFQQ3PgoduWoIdw&dpr=1

 

I'm on the Historic Preservation Commission.  I am that jerk that insists you try to fix old windows and use wood siding.

Lemur, The houses in your area are gorgeous.  Thanks for sharing this link.

 

I own an 1876 Victorian in a historic preservation district and a landmark district.  In 1906 much of San Francisco was lost to the fire that was caused by the earthquake.  Because of the number of fires, the fire hydrants lost water pressure.  There was one hydrant about five blocks from my house that kept working.  It is painted gold and there is a ceremony every year to commemorate the fire.  A fire line was created at 20th Street in the Mission district.  Our neighbor found old photos from the time.  My house was the fire line.  The upper corner of my house burned.  All houses on one side of mine are pre-quake.  The other side are post-quake. 

 

My house was split into two flats (each floor is an apartment).  When the houses were built there was no indoor plumbing.  So, as Lemur mentioned, the kitchen and bath are in the back.  The two story house has a one-story wet room that was added on to include plumbing; that is the bath for the lower unit.  I am having work done on the rental unit.  It is so hard to get contractors to respect the age of the building.  So many people want to create a modern look.  I have updated the electrical and plumbing, replaced the lower roof, rebuilt the decks on the back, remodeled the bathroom and kitchen.  I have tried to put in things that are period appropriate and am adding woodwork rather than stripping it.

 

My neighborhood is gentrifying.  While we are not allowed to change the footprint of the houses or change the exterior fronts unless we are restoring them closer to the original look, people are being allowed to completely gut the homes.  This drives me crazy.  My street and our sister street have matching houses that were built in the 1870s and 1880s for teachers.  While they were kit houses, they have so many beautiful features.  Our rooms are moderate in size.  There are beautiful hand carved fireplaces and redwood picture rails.  The siding is also redwood. 

 

I very much believe if people want a modern house, they should buy one.   There is plenty of new construction available or homes from the 1950s on that fit better into a modern style.  If they buy one of the historic homes, they should do so to help maintain it.  It is possible to modernize for safety and usage without stripping the beauty of these homes.  I’ll climb off my soapbox now.

Edited November 18, 2015 by Muffyn

[Skittl1321]

So do you keep your stamping stuff in your sewing room?

Or did you end up getting rid of it like you had wanted to? BTW, are you the same Skittl1321 that was on Splitcoast Stampers?

 

Yes, the stamping stuff is all in the sewing room, but just tucked away in the closet. Occasionally I find a need for something in there, and haven't had the heart to give it away or sell it for pennies on the dollar (if you know someone who will take it for quarters on the dollar- sold!)  I am the same from SCS- that site really went downhill when it started just being advertising for various companies.  I was never hugely into stampin up; but when it was predominantly that it was so much better.

[CherryMalotte]

Please forgive me for playing catch up - I am really sorry for your loss Skittl1321.  As I've said before, this year needs to just get its miserable self over with.

 

My younger uncle (not the complete bastard, that's the older one) is living with a gal who's grandson is Sirius...from Harry Potter.  No shit, I kid ya'll not.  I have no idea what they call him, if he has a nick name.  I do like odd names or different combinations, but nothing that is going to get a tease from the other kids at school.  The Mini Malotte has a hyphenated first name, the second part being Louise after Louise Brooks.  

 

The older uncle, the complete bastard, and his wench of a wife did an end run and completed the paperwork to place my grandmother into a local nursing home.  I knew it was coming, my mother knew it was coming, but it's still a shock and very sad.  Unknown to us that he also signed my mother and I up to come get her laundry once a week.  I'm happy to do this but I have to say it would have been nice to get more than a day or two as a heads up that she was going in or that the admissions process had even started.       

[burlsa]

Yes, the stamping stuff is all in the sewing room, but just tucked away in the closet. Occasionally I find a need for something in there, and haven't had the heart to give it away or sell it for pennies on the dollar (if you know someone who will take it for quarters on the dollar- sold!)  I am the same from SCS- that site really went downhill when it started just being advertising for various companies.  I was never hugely into stampin up; but when it was predominantly that it was so much better.

 

Oh, I'm not into stamping myself. I was originally drawn there to investigate Scarlett75, who is the same woman who has pulled scams as Razing Ruth, Pennmommy, Jhawksgirl1, WanderWoman, and countless others. But I enjoyed the site and started to look around a lot. I think I ran into your name a few times, and having such a unique moniker it stuck in my head. Then I saw you had mentioned your stamping sets here in small talk a while back and knew you just had to be the same one that was on SCS. 

 

Small world, isn't it? 

[Skittl1321]

 

Small world, isn't it? 

 

It is.  One of my facebook friends (who knows I am Skittles due to it being a camp name) found me here one day.  She always messages me about my posts on facebook :)  It's weird that I have a real life friend who is similarly Duggar obsessed.

[MarysWetBar]

There seems to be a post missing here. *Wander* what happened to it?

Im going to leave that *typo*, btw.

[burlsa]

Maryswetbar, I've wanted to ask if you keep good tequila stocked in your bar? I like a good margarita but I can never seem to recreate one at home. Generally I hate tequila, but I had the BEST margarita while I was down in San Antonio. I  often wonder if they used tequila from Mexico in it. 

[Jynnan tonnix]

Our house is quite a bit bigger than one might think we need, since it's just me and my husband at home how, but we bought it purposely in case we ended up having any of the kids moving back home or parents/inlaws needing to give up independent living. We have 4 bedrooms (originally 5, but one has become the library); the remaining downstairs bedroom is next to a full bath and could easily be turned into a second, en suite master.

 

Actually, when we first moved in, my daughter & son-in-law ended up living with us for about 10 months while they were saving up some money and house-hunting. Now my younger son has been here since May in between graduating college and doing all the prep-work for hopefully getting into the Marines' Officer Training School. So it's been handy.

 

Also, we lost my father-in-law earlier this year, so my mother-in-law might decide to give up her house at some point, especially since her short-term memory has really taken a hit over the past couple of years...and my own parents are beginning to really feel their ages (81 & 84). Dad just had a quintuple bypass today, and is out of surgery and seems to be doing well, but who knows how long they can stay where they are?

 

There's a lot more to buying a house for just a couple of people in you are planning on being there long-term and don't know what you might have to deal with in the future.

 

As far as changing the décor/woodwork, etc, I'm all in favor of keeping the "character" of a house, but that being said, I have always preferred the look of white painted woodwork over stained/varnished...Our house is a Cape Cod style, which probably wouldn't have been number one on our list, but my husband was getting ready to retire from the Navy when we bought it and we wanted a house with all the space we might potentially need, reasonably close to my parents (as I am an only child) plus a fairly good-size lot to be able to get into some pretty extensive vegetable and other gardening. We looked for close to a year and, over the last couple of months after we sold our previous house in another state, we had two houses in a row which we had signed contracts for fall through because of clueless and/or psychotic sellers. So this place ended up being more or less a default, but it was all done in a VERY country-esque décor, and our style, if anything, borders on Asian influence after a number of years, on and off, spent in Hawai'i and Guam. We did end up painting a lot of the woodwork, which was actually quite pretty in its own way, but just looked wrong with our things. The windows, doors, and kitchen are still all stained wood, so there's a bit of disconnect in styles even now that we've been here almost 3 years, but it's starting to come together.

[SomePity1066]

I haven't gone uphill to catch up on posts but SOMEP, COOOOOOOOOOOOOOL BEANS!!! I thought you loved your current house, no? I'm sooooooooooo excited for you. There's nothing like buying a house to get the blood pumping! GO GIRL!!!

I DO love my house, HFC - it's been a very nice place to settle into my new life post-divorce - but I'm ready to move on to the next stage, and the new place just seems to be calling to me ! The hearth wants what it wants haha...  ;)

 

I think we were secretly separated at birth.  I wanted two Malinois (named Clarkie and Schultzie after Bobby Clarke and Dave Schultz) before I got my BT.  I'm glad I got the BT instead.  She is simply the sweetest dog in the world (not that I'm biased or anything).  

You can be the secret Jedi sister I never knew about, Lemur !!! Have to say, however, even though my Belgian Baby is my dear, sweet, giant Goofus Maloofus, he can be a tough customer ! He's really not all that big, maybe 75 pounds, but is amazingly strong - when he sees a squirrel he gets all laser-focused and it's all I can do to remain upright. I've had him in behavior/training classes for more than two years but NOTHING, so far, has been able to mitigate his small-prey instincts. He is fiercely protective of me, though, which is very comforting - he's the very same breed that was part of the Navy Seal team that took out Osama Bin Laden ! If anyone ever approached me menacingly he'd most likely rip their arm off. That's a BIG change after my two little Bostons, who would probably just crawl right up onto the lap of a burglar and fall fast asleep, but there's something to be said for two dogs you can tuck under your arm and carry if they get too ornery ! 

 

Here is "my" historic district:

 

https://www.google.com/search?q=ocean+grove+nj+victorian+houses&espv=2&biw=1259&bih=847&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0CBwQsARqFQoTCO3b1NXBmskCFQQ3PgoduWoIdw&dpr=1

 

I'm on the Historic Preservation Commission.  I am that jerk that insists you try to fix old windows and use wood siding.

That's just so beautiful as to take my breath away ! Reminds me so much of Cape May, where I've spent much time looking at the wonderful houses more than I did at the sunsets ! You're NOT a jerk, by the way, for insisting that history be preserved - you're the reason we don't lose our culture, our history, and the beauty of the past. Having a home there must be like living in a land of giant wedding cakes ! Makes me want to take tea in the parlor...

 

Your new house DOES sound great, some! I predict you'll have the BEST time fixing it up and making it all your own. PS - that picket fence would clinch the deal for me. Get yourself some Jackson & Perkins miniature climbing roses to plant alongside it and in a few years things will look like you've lived there for 30 years.

FYI - this climber below is named "America." Gorgeous.

 

I've never had much luck with roses, Wellfleet, but this gives me the impetus to try again ! Maybe I can be the weird neighborhood Lady with the Roses in my new house ! Now get off my lawn !!!

 

And when they say "this would be a great house except I don't like the paint color". Or they are moving to a European city from Texas and want a huge house and yard in "city center" and everything they see in said city center is too small and why is there so much noise?

Oh, my, Lookeyloo - you must like to "hate watch" that show as much as I do ! It always makes me stabby when you see people who are willing to uproot their entire lives to move 8,000 miles away but they turn a house down cold because they don't like the light switch covers ! And the ones who have a list of things that only a multimillionaire could afford but they have a budget of, like, a hundred thousand dollars ? THAT earns a slipper thrown at the TV every time !

[Pixie Chicken]

Somepity, it has been my dream to live in a Craftsman home. The built-ins! The actual divided rooms! Those porches! I hopened your new home brings you lots of happiness.

Skittl, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I hope that you find peace and comfort.

[lookeyloo]

Oh, my, Lookeyloo - you must like to "hate watch" that show as much as I do ! It always makes me stabby when you see people who are willing to uproot their entire lives to move 8,000 miles away but they turn a house down cold because they don't like the light switch covers ! And the ones who have a list of things that only a multimillionaire could afford but they have a budget of, like, a hundred thousand dollars ? THAT earns a slipper thrown at the TV every time !

Oh yes indeed. And then they settle on the one they hated, over budget, and too far from work.

Well I still haven't mastered the quote thing!!

Edited November 19, 2015 by frenchtoast
fixed quotes

[Jenniferbug]

Jenniferbug - how funny, I "met" a child named Anonymous too, back in the Summer. (this was in North Carolina)

I'm in the Midwest. I'm sad to think that 2 sets of parents both chose to name their children Anonymous. The little one I know at least goes by her first and middle initial. You'll just have to trust me when I say the middle name is equally unusual.

HFC, love that little jacket! We have a Kenna in our extended family!

[Chicklet]

I met a "Midchild" once. NIce girl, I asked so how did you get your name? She said...I'm the middle child. What on earth is wrong with people.

[Wellfleet]

Lemur, The houses in your area are gorgeous.  Thanks for sharing this link.

 

I own an 1876 Victorian in a historic preservation district and a landmark district.  In 1906 much of San Francisco was lost to the fire that was caused by the earthquake.  Because of the number of fires, the fire hydrants lost water pressure.  There was one hydrant about five blocks from my house that kept working.  It is painted gold and there is a ceremony every year to commemorate the fire.  A fire line was created at 20th Street in the Mission district.  Our neighbor found old photos from the time.  My house was the fire line.  The upper corner of my house burned.  All houses on one side of mine are pre-quake.  The other side are post-quake. 

 

My house was split into two flats (each floor is an apartment).  When the houses were built there was no indoor plumbing.  So, as Lemur mentioned, the kitchen and bath are in the back.  The two story house has a one-story wet room that was added on to include plumbing; that is the bath for the lower unit.  I am having work done on the rental unit.  It is so hard to get contractors to respect the age of the building.  So many people want to create a modern look.  I have updated the electrical and plumbing, replaced the lower roof, rebuilt the decks on the back, remodeled the bathroom and kitchen.  I have tried to put in things that are period appropriate and am adding woodwork rather than stripping it.

 

My neighborhood is gentrifying.  While we are not allowed to change the footprint of the houses or change the exterior fronts unless we are restoring them closer to the original look, people are being allowed to completely gut the homes.  This drives me crazy.  My street and our sister street have matching houses that were built in the 1870s and 1880s for teachers.  While they were kit houses, they have so many beautiful features.  Our rooms are moderate in size.  There are beautiful hand carved fireplaces and redwood picture rails.  The siding is also redwood. 

 

I very much believe if people want a modern house, they should buy one.   There is plenty of new construction available or homes from the 1950s on that fit better into a modern style.  If they buy one of the historic homes, they should do so to help maintain it.  It is possible to modernize for safety and usage without stripping the beauty of these homes.  I’ll climb off my soapbox now.

 

I think San Francisco and Boston are the only two cities I'd ever move to without a great deal of grumbling. Any other move of mine would have to be a country move - Vermont, Maine, any part of coastal Massachusetts or the Berkshires, coastal northern California [Monterey, Big Sur etc]. Apparently, I'm very very picky...

[MonicaM]

There seems to be a post missing here. *Wander* what happened to it?

Im going to leave that *typo*, btw.

Nicely done.  Very nicely done.  

[NikSac]

Lemur, The houses in your area are gorgeous.  Thanks for sharing this link.

 

I own an 1876 Victorian in a historic preservation district and a landmark district.  In 1906 much of San Francisco was lost to the fire that was caused by the earthquake.  Because of the number of fires, the fire hydrants lost water pressure.  There was one hydrant about five blocks from my house that kept working.  It is painted gold and there is a ceremony every year to commemorate the fire.  A fire line was created at 20th Street in the Mission district.  Our neighbor found old photos from the time.  My house was the fire line.  The upper corner of my house burned.  All houses on one side of mine are pre-quake.  The other side are post-quake. 

 

My house was split into two flats (each floor is an apartment).  When the houses were built there was no indoor plumbing.  So, as Lemur mentioned, the kitchen and bath are in the back.  The two story house has a one-story wet room that was added on to include plumbing; that is the bath for the lower unit.  I am having work done on the rental unit.  It is so hard to get contractors to respect the age of the building.  So many people want to create a modern look.  I have updated the electrical and plumbing, replaced the lower roof, rebuilt the decks on the back, remodeled the bathroom and kitchen.  I have tried to put in things that are period appropriate and am adding woodwork rather than stripping it.w

 

Muffyn wow what a neat history on your house!  If you "do" Facebook there is a group you might really like called San Francisco History. They would absolutely love to hear your story and see pictures of your house, I'm sure!  My great-grandparents lived there during the quake and fires and there are all kinds of family stories. There are a few people on that FB group who live in beautifully preserved Victorians that have been modernized for safety, but otherwise restored as much as possible and not gutted.

[Sew Sumi]

Somepity, it has been my dream to live in a Craftsman home. The built-ins! The actual divided rooms! Those porches! I hopened your new home brings you lots of happiness.

Skittl, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I hope that you find peace and comfort.

I guess now isn't the best time to mention that I was raised in a 1923 Craftsman, about 3300 sf, so a medium-sized model. The built-ins were to DIE for, beginning with the leaded glass china cabinet in the REAL dining room. 

[Readalot]

I guess now isn't the best time to mention that I was raised in a 1923 Craftsman, about 3300 sf, so a medium-sized model. The built-ins were to DIE for, beginning with the leaded glass china cabinet in the REAL dining room.

lucky lucky lucky! I've never seen a Craftsman that big. Was that the original size or were rooms added on? I have a few coffee table Craftsman home books, I want to unpack them now and explore again!

[Happyfatchick]

Hey, THANK YOU everybody who commented on the baby's jeans jacket. There's more to the story. The lining is a baby blanket that was originally two pieces of fleece sewn together with a caterpillar appliqué on one side. I got the blanket at a grocery store (of all places) where they had some random gift-type items displayed on an end rack. I think I paid $5. After I'd taken it apart and used the "blank" piece of fleece, I used the caterpillar side to make her a fleece vest. And THEN, upon reflection (and a couple Pinterest how-to's about making baby leg warmers from socks), I went back to WM and hit the clearance racks again. Turns out I can take a $5 clearance shirt and make leggings from the torso of the shirt for this year, and save the sleeves of said shirt to make another set next year. On clearance, I found a red and white striped knit shirt, which was EXACTLY what I wanted, so I could make "1st Christmas" outfits. PERFECT!!!

So far I've spent around a billion dollars being thrifty.

[leighroda]

Tell me you would deny this face people food: this is Penny the chihuahua dachshund mix

http://imgur.com/a/kJkcW

Edited to add... I didn't know it linked all 3 pictures, the other is the dogs doing what they do best... Not behaving (hence penny being known as "captain naughty pants") and the cat is Stella, she's usually pretty illusive as she is not so much of a Penny fan (Penny really just wants Stella to love her, but still won't have it) so this picture must have been when the dogs were on a walk or at the groomer getting baths.

Then there is Rosie "I'm a human and this is my bed" the toy fox terrier:

http://imgur.com/kbOj9cs

And one of the "we don't know who was digging in that trash can duo":

http://imgur.com/qDO1sFi

Edited November 19, 2015 by leighroda

[leighroda]

From my years working hospice, I can absolutely confirm that those near the end see,sense and also talk to loved ones that passed before them. It is actually so common place that you don't even question it. You will go in the room and they are chattering away and there is noone there with them. Also, as to whether they slip away with no fanfare or have all family with them. .we noticed a trend of sorts at my hospice. Men, as a rule will wait and hold on forever for that son in Australia or daughter from China to arrive for a goodbye. Men seem to like the whole family there to comfort and honour them and their "grand finale". Women are sneakier ..lol

The mother in them never goes away even if the "kids" are 75!

I witnessed so many women at the end tell their kids to run out and eat or go home for a shower. .then quietly and calmly pass away. Its like they don't want to cause a bother or a fuss and don't want their children upset. Momma to the end.

It's so random that I saw this because it was something I needed to read, I almost never go very far back to read old posts, but I was trying to figure out this wanderwoman thing... And came across this post.

My mom passed away in February and this is my first holiday season without her, I have been reflecting a lot around the circumstances when she died and felt really guilty.

Long story short my mom was diagnosed with endometrial cancer, and not given very long to live. Being that at the time I was in nursing school it just made since that between my sister and I that I would be the one to go home to take care of her (my sister is all finance/business, which was helpful with the estate/will so we made a good team) we live in Florida and my mom was in Texas, so I made the trek just in time for her to be released from the hospital into in home hospice care. I fought for her to be in a hospice facility, even if I was more prepared than anyone else to clinically/physically care for her, nothing prepared you for your first patient dying, and especially when that patient is your mom. But I lost that fight when my moms only sibling and people from her church said they would help so I wouldn't be doing it by myself. So they brought her home, and of course magically all the people who swore they would help were nowhere to be found. She had an amazing hospice team but they were only there for 1-2 hours every other day, so I quickly worked myself into a nervous breakdown, I wasn't eating or sleeping because I would jump at any noise she would make, and she would randomly want water throughout the night but was unable to pick up a cup without spilling. Finally after a week of being home the hospice care went into what was called crisis mode, which meant the end was very near, and that she had a nurse there 24/7. I alerted my sister she needed to come asap, and my best friend came down from Dallas (my mom was in Houston) as my moral support. Funnily now that I had 24 hour help my aunt managed to make her way down to give me the afternoon off, so my bff and I ran a few errands and went to her hotel room to sleep (with all the people at my house we decided she would be best off in a hotel) but I had given strict instructions if anything changed to notify me immediately. I really didn't want to leave, but at that point I was at my wits end and I didn't know how long she would hold on for, she had several visitors that morning as word spread she didn't have much longer and people wanted to say their goodbyes, so I knew she was exhausted and would likely just sleep as she had the other days. I came home around 8 pm, and went into the room with my mom and immediately I could tell something was wrong, her breathing had changed, I immediately asked what was wrong and my aunt was very casual and said she had been breathing like that all night... I knew that breathing pattern was a end of life breathing pattern... I was furious. The nurse who was there wasn't the same one as when I left so I can understand her not knowing to contact me, but my aunt should have, I called her several times to check in and she told me nothing changed. My mom at that point was never responsive again, and passed away the next morning... I was there when she passed but she had never woken up or responded that morning, i told her my sister would be there later that day but I don't know if she heard me she never responded.

I feel terrible that here she was in her last days, and I was tired and cranky, so I wasn't there for her in the end. She was going to die the next day but I needed a nap, and to go to target. I know it's irrational, and I know I couldn't have known, but I still feel like I was really selfish in hat moment.

Then I read all the midlife orphan posts... While I hope I'm not technically a midlife orphan (I'm only 33... So here's to hoping this isn't the middle)... My dad passed away a year before my mom, so I'm in the club...btw Are we having thanksgiving dinner? Are there any club meetings?lol

Edited November 19, 2015 by leighroda

[lookeyloo]

Hey, THANK YOU everybody who commented on the baby's jeans jacket. There's more to the story. The lining is a baby blanket that was originally two pieces of fleece sewn together with a caterpillar appliqué on one side. I got the blanket at a grocery store (of all places) where they had some random gift-type items displayed on an end rack. I think I paid $5. After I'd taken it apart and used the "blank" piece of fleece, I used the caterpillar side to make her a fleece vest. And THEN, upon reflection (and a couple Pinterest how-to's about making baby leg warmers from socks), I went back to WM and hit the clearance racks again. Turns out I can take a $5 clearance shirt and make leggings from the torso of the shirt for this year, and save the sleeves of said shirt to make another set next year. On clearance, I found a red and white striped knit shirt, which was EXACTLY what I wanted, so I could make "1st Christmas" outfits. PERFECT!!!

So far I've spent around a billion dollars being thrifty.

Happy, you sound like a much more proficient and talented version of me!  I like to do what you have done, but on a much simpler scale.  But, I am not into machine embroidery.  I have about 15 sewing machines, most of them vintage, that I have cleaned up and made workable.  And I have made halloween costumes for the grands using bits of this and that.  I don't think of myself as "crafty".  I couldn't get into paper making things or stamping, or scrapbooking.  

 

Hoping all goes well with our house here and we close as scheduled and move "up there" to your neck of the woods, but, I think more north and west.  At least the same state.  

It's so random that I saw this because it was something I needed to read, I almost never go very far back to read old posts, but I was trying to figure out this wanderwoman thing... And came across this post.

My mom passed away in February and this is my first holiday season without her, I have been reflecting a lot around the circumstances when she died and felt really guilty.

Long story short my mom was diagnosed with endometrial cancer, and not given very long to live. Being that at the time I was in nursing school it just made since that between my sister and I that I would be the one to go home to take care of her (my sister is all finance/business, which was helpful with the estate/will so we made a good team) we live in Florida and my mom was in Texas, so I made the trek just in time for her to be released from the hospital into in home hospice care. I fought for her to be in a hospice facility, even if I was more prepared than anyone else to clinically/physically care for her, nothing prepared you for your first patient dying, and especially when that patient is your mom. But I lost that fight when my moms only sibling and people from her church said they would help so I wouldn't be doing it by myself. So they brought her home, and of course magically all the people who swore they would help were nowhere to be found. She had an amazing hospice team but they were only there for 1-2 hours every other day, so I quickly worked myself into a nervous breakdown, I wasn't eating or sleeping because I would jump at any noise she would make, and she would randomly want water throughout the night but was unable to pick up a cup without spilling. Finally after a week of being home the hospice care went into what was called crisis mode, which meant the end was very near, and that she had a nurse there 24/7. I alerted my sister she needed to come asap, and my best friend came down from Dallas (my mom was in Houston) as my moral support. Funnily now that I had 24 hour help my aunt managed to make her way down to give me the afternoon off, so my bff and I ran a few errands and went to her hotel room to sleep (with all the people at my house we decided she would be best off in a hotel) but I had given strict instructions if anything changed to notify me immediately. I really didn't want to leave, but at that point I was at my wits end and I didn't know how long she would hold on for, she had several visitors that morning as word spread she didn't have much longer and people wanted to say their goodbyes, so I knew she was exhausted and would likely just sleep as she had the other days. I came home around 8 pm, and went into the room with my mom and immediately I could tell something was wrong, her breathing had changed, I immediately asked what was wrong and my aunt was very casual and said she had been breathing like that all night... I knew that breathing pattern was a end of life breathing pattern... I was furious. The nurse who was there wasn't the same one as when I left so I can understand her not knowing to contact me, but my aunt should have, I called her several times to check in and she told me nothing changed. My mom at that point was never responsive again, and passed away the next morning... I was there when she passed but she had never woken up or responded that morning, i told her my sister would be there later that day but I don't know if she heard me she never responded.

I feel terrible that here she was in her last days, and I was tired and cranky, so I wasn't there for her in the end. She was going to die the next day but I needed a nap, and to go to target. I know it's irrational, and I know I couldn't have known, but I still feel like I was really selfish in hat moment.

Then I read all the midlife orphan posts... While I hope I'm not technically a midlife orphan (I'm only 33... So here's to hoping this isn't the middle)... My dad passed away a year before my mom, so I'm in the club...btw Are we having thanksgiving dinner? Are there any club meetings?lol

Leighroda - well I can identify with a lot of what you wrote.  Consider this - your mom didn't want you there when she died.  I think I read in some of my hospice nurse books, that they have observed patients either hanging on or waiting for someone to leave.  I think one of our posters even said this.  So time to stop beating yourself up over it.  She knew you loved her and she knew you were caring for her.  Wishing you peace.  Let's all meet in a virtual coffee shop and drink virtual fattening drinks and share stories!!

And I screwed up the quote thing again!!!!  One reply to HappyFatChick and one to Leighroda.  Mods, do I need a time out?  Thanks for helping.

[NEGirl]

Maryswetbar - I agree with you. My Mom was in a nursing home after suffering so many strokes I lost count. We were all at her bedside after her last stroke waiting for the end. She signaled us it was ok for us to leave. After we got home we received a phone call from her nurse stating she had passed after we all left. The nurse said she had seen it happen all the time. The nurse stated some people do not like dying in front of their families.

[Liz Tudor]

I'm late to the game, but congrats on the house, SomePity! That's so exciting!!! I'm sending vibes your way that you get it with no problems. Lick it, then nobody else will want to claim it (a.k.a. The Josie Method, lol!).

We still own our 1904 home in another state; it's my dream house, but I've been coming to terms with the fact that we will probably not be returning there to live. We have lived in many houses over the years, but we were always "old house" people, and when the opportunity came up, we jumped. We had 6 wonderful years there. We are going back there for Thanksgiving with our former neighbors (and half our stuff is still there!). When I was there in January, I cried off & on for 3 days, I'd missed that house so much. Sigh, it's hard sometimes to look forward, instead of backward.

HFC, your sewing skills are AMAZING. That jacket is beautiful! I can barely sew a straight line, then the machine eats the thread, the bobbin ejects, the needle bends, and I'm done. I admire people who can make such beautiful things. I'll stick to what I'm good at...the kitchen!

And pets...don't get me started. We have cats, 2 11 yr old sisters (shelter adoptees) Shadow Marie & Tempest Suzanne (one tux & one black bobtail) and 2 5 yr old brothers, Martin Llewellyn and Mayhem (both big, black, & fluffy, we took them in at 4 mos., they were born in our sideyard). The middle names just came out when I was calling for them one day, and they fit! It sounds crazy, but Martin "looks" and "behaves" British. He's a very proper cat. If he could speak, it would be with an accent. He even wears a knockoff Burberry plaid collar. And Mayhem...he's like many celebrities...just needs the one name. And it speaks for him very well!

Hope everyone is gearing up for a good Thanksgiving, wherever you will be. Thinking of those who are going through rough times, I know how the holidays can make it harder. As many have said, I really enjoy checking into our little virtual community!

[Jynnan tonnix]

Don't know whether these links will work as it is facebook, but here's an example of the before & after of one of the rooms in our house. The Dining room is the most heavily Asian influenced as we bought the dining set when we were in Guam, then added to it while in Hawai'i, and decorated with probably way too many bits & pieces we picked up in various Chinatowns and Asian antiques places

 

The before photo is the room as it was when we first looked at the house. They were using it as a family room, but there was no formal dining room at all. We got rid of the wood stove (there is another one, back to back with the one in this photo, in the living room, sharing the same chimney) and boarded up the exposed brick, installed a wood floor and the chandelier which has been with us through about 8 moves, and also put in a pocket door in the back of the room (not visible from this angle) between this and the mudroom/half bath/laundry area which was open to the original family room. That mudroom/etc., is actually the next project on the list, and will become a butler's pantry (with the washer/dryer moved over to the closet at the opposite end of the space from where it is now). There are still three full baths, so we didn't think that sacrificing the half would matter much. We never use it, but will cap off the plumbing so that someone else can put it back in if they so desire somewhere down the line. There will be a little prep sink, though.

 

 ​ https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151515440307778&set=pb.621502777.-2207https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?

 

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151571944422778&set=pb.621502777.-2207520000.1447950646.&type=3&theater

Edited November 19, 2015 by Jynnan tonnix

[emma675]

I've found my old house people!! I live in a 1941 ranch style house, but owners before me have added on at least two times, so the original footprint is long gone. I will admit, a few years ago I gutted both bathrooms down to the studs and modernized them. Bathrooms from the 1940's were small, y'all! And the guest bathroom was bigger than the master. In my defense, the bathrooms weren't original, they had been remodeled at least three times (and the previous owners never demoed anything, they just added on top of things, so imagine the layers of tile we had to go through). But I still have the original hardwood floors and all of the original crown molding.

 

leighroda, don't beat yourself up. You almost broke yourself taking care of your mom in her final days and she knows that. I'm convinced my grandmother waited to pass until after my dad went on a quick trip with my brother and my mom had gone home for the day. My mom and I were talking about her on the phone together when we got the call that she was gone. My other grandfather was more of the dramatic type--he hung on until my always-late-to-everything aunt showed up to the hospital and then literally died 5 minutes later. 

[barbedwire]

Thank you everyone for bringing up the term "midlife orphan" because that is me.  My sister-in-law, who I have always been close to, told me I was being too dramatic when I said that I was getting therapy because I couldn't deal with being an orphan.  (Dad died after a long illness and a little over a year ago mom died suddenly.)  Just because my brother cried then went back to work doesn't mean I am odd or dramatic!  It is a real term and just because her parents are still alive I realize she cannot understand.  So I thank you all for understanding and I am so sorry you guys have to go through it too.

[Skittl1321]

Leighroda I hope you are able to get through this difficult time. I'm not too fearful of Thanksgiving, but I'm terrified of getting through Christmas (it being the more "kid" holiday.)

 

I agree with others that you should learn to let go of your guilt; it sounds like you took excellent care of her and did all that you could do. We all have moments where maybe we weren't our best selves, but that doesn't mean you weren't the daughter she needed you to be.

[Jynnan tonnix]

So glad that my father decided to have the bypass surgery and came through it with flying colors! I couldn't make it down to the hospital today to see him...he was still just semi-conscious by the time we had to leave yesterday, but Mom says that today he is in good spirits. When they asked him (as one of those "test" questions such as "do you know what year it is?") whether he knew why he was in the hospital, he answered, "because you have all the pretty nurses"! They took it :)

[Muffyn]

Leighroda , I am so sorry for your loss.  Being there for the last weeks and taking care of her every need was the greatest gift you could have given her.  It is exhausting to a level most people cannot comprehend.  While I understand that you feel bad that she took the turn toward the end of life when you were away, you had already given so much. 

 

I had a similar situation with my sister.  Fortunately, she did have a good deal of support from her husband and her friends.  She was diagnosed with throat/mouth cancer.  It was diagnosed very late, although that was not understood because they did not do the tests that would have better shown the severity.  At her stage only 3% of people last a year. She had surgery and did radiation.  I was her Friday afternoon help.  I rearranged my work schedule so I would drive from Sacramento to Vallejo, take her to radiation, if she was up to get a meal, run errands, then clean up around the house.  I also cooked and froze meals for her and her husband so the people helping her could heat up food rather than cooking and to lessen the load on her husband.    And I dropped off groceries, set up her meds, helped her write to people, and talked to her stepkids and nieces to help them understand what was happening. 

 

My mother would call her weekly, mainly to cry about how hard it was for her that her daughter was sick.  She did not visit or provide any help.  My brothers did not even call.  Finally, 14 months after she was diagnosed my brother decided he would come out to help since she switched to in home hospice care (he lives in Texas).  He does not work.  He made a huge deal of deciding when to show up, having me do a ton of research for him on places to stay, etc.  He finally showed up the weekend of my birthday.  We talked and agreed he would see her every day over the weekend.  Instead he spent three hours with her on Friday in which he provided no practical support.  He then disappeared.  I skipped seeing her that weekend, figuring she was good since he was there.  Many of her other support team members took the weekend off for the same reason.  A few days later her lungs began filling with fluid.  Her friend called me to say she only had a few days left.  By the time I got there, she was in and out of consciousness.  Our last discussion was her begging for my forgiveness.  I can only hope she really heard me telling her there was nothing to be forgiven.   She had been a wonderful sister. 

 

I too felt guilty for not being there that last weekend that she was conscious.  But like you I was exhausted and I thought we had it covered.  I still did the cooking.  I just needed a break from the emotional drain of caring for her.  I expected a grown man to be able to meet his commitment to show up and be helpful.  You expected a grown woman to be able to make a phone call. 

 

But then I think back to when a friend of mine died.  Her sister felt bad that she hadn’t been able to help until very near the end.  My friend kept her at a distance and they didn’t live in the same state.  I thought about what I said to her and what I would say to you.  You were there when she needed you.  You helped her in ways that others couldn’t or wouldn’t.  From that care, she knew you loved her deeply.  We may have missed moments that would have felt better for us, but we helped when needed and provided care and comfort to people in their last days.  Even if you do nothing else in life, you have done a great deed.  If I believed in heaven, I know you are deserving of it.

Edited November 19, 2015 by Muffyn

[burlsa]

I hate to talk about my health issues but I am hoping all you smart awesome people can give me some advice. 

 

As some of you know, I have been dealing with a host of health problems which led to my doctor asking my employer to put me on short term disability. After a long tedious process I had been approved. My doctor did not and still does not have a return to work date. I have been dealing with excessive migraines, vision changes (double vision, and now even loss of vision), numbness on the left side of my body (which causes me to fall), cognitive issues (slight memory loss and comprehension troubles). Along with all of this, I have symptoms that relate to lupus and I've had them for years. My doctor decided to send me to a neurologist to deal with the neurological issues and so far everything has come back normal, except my CRP and Sed Rate which are super elevated. He believes it is something auto-immune related. I've had an MRI, CAT scan, cerebral angiogram, and lumbar puncture and as far as I know they are all normal. I will be discussing the lumbar puncture results with my neruo next week. 

 

I have been doing everything my disability insurance company has asked. I've given them all the notes from my doctors visits and tests. My primary doctor was the one who requested the short term disability. And she explained that she wants me to have a diagnosis and treatment before I can safely return to work. Well today I received a notice that the insurance company has deemed me ineligible to receive any further short term disability. They explained that my only symptom is headaches and my primary doctor (but they named the neurologist, not my primary and they couldn't even spell his name correct) has not given them any reason why I cannot work. He was not the one who requested that I go on disability, he is just evaluating me and giving the results to my primary care doctor. He has no reason to contact them on me needing short term disability, outside of sending them his findings. They have repeatedly messed all of my paperwork up and lost paperwork. However my primary (not my neurologist) explained why I couldn't work in her original paperwork and explained that my being ready for work would depend on a diagnosis and treatment plan. I have repeatedly given them my symptoms, including the temporary vision loss that I have. However they seem to ignore that. And my doctor notes explain all symptoms. 

 

I'm at a loss of what to do now. I can't work because I am just too ill. My job is working with annuities, I handle customer calls and explain their product to them. I need to be quick to think and I also need to be able to read my computer screen. At this time, I just cannot do that reliably. I have made a follow up with my primary in hopes that she can reach out to the insurance company and straighten it all out. My appointment isn't until December 7th though. And I don't know what I am going to do with no income at all. I'm afraid all this stress will only make me more sick. So does anyone have any suggestions on how to handle a disability insurance company?

[RedPonyDriver]

burisa...there is an appeals process. Contact the Short Term Disability office at your employer. They can put you in touch with the right people. Next, get copies of EVERYTHING including the original paperwork from your primary care doctor that is coordinating your care. Call the disability company. There should be a case manager assigned to your case. Ask them WHY they are getting paperwork from the wrong doctor. Ask them who is evaluating the doctor's statements and determining that you can work (hint...it's usually an RN). 

 

I played this game with a certain company when my husband got sick and went out on disability. You have to know the right words to say. Can you PM me and tell me what the name of the disability insurance company is? There are certain trigger words you can use to get them to re-evaluate their decision. 

[burlsa]

Red, thanks. I will try that again. I had issues getting approval originally. The company also kept saying they never received the paperwork from my primary care doctor. My primary was on top of it. I contacted my employer and they got after the company. I even got a different case worker for a short time.

Now I'm back to the crappy case worker. And when I call in they politely refuse to transfer me to my case worker. And she has a habit of calling at the worst times so I never get a chance to speak with her. They also refuse to give me anything in writing outside of the decision letters.

I will pm you the company.

[RedPonyDriver]

I PM'd you back. I know the company and dealt with them. They are jerks. 

[Wellfleet]

I love these roses.  I want to find and plant Joseph Amazing coat climbing roses.  I think that is the name

 

Amit - found your Joseph's Coat roses. And OMG, are they gorgeous! Hope this is helpful...

 

http://www.heirloomroses.com/roses/josephs-coat.html

[amitville]

Amit - found your Joseph's Coat roses. And OMG, are they gorgeous! Hope this is helpful...

 

http://www.heirloomroses.com/roses/josephs-coat.html

Thank you so much.  You made me feel so special

[RainbowBrite]

I have been a long time lurker on this board (and I am sure I am not the only one). I have made the odd comment on other discussion boards, but I have only ever followed along with this one. I have often wanted to comment but I am generally reading this while putting my son to bed or while working, and I do not like typing on my tiny iPhone keyboard. Anyway I wanted to finally say a hello, and let you know that I am here and have been following along (not all of the time but I check in at least weekly). I have been busy the last couple of weeks and am super confused. I always try to catch the latest update from wanderwoman, but am I seeing now that she was a fake? I tried to do a little research myself before asking, but I can't find much. You were all so compassionate, caring and wonderful to her - I am so sorry to hear this. Can I ask when all of this came out? 

[Wellfleet]

Skittl...gentle hugs...my heart hurts for you.

 

Critter names...our first dog was named Yoda...because his ears stuck out sorta like the "real" Yoda's. He also had a funny little beard (he was half German Shepherd and half Schnauzer). Our second dog was named Anakin...the cats are Luke & Leia. Unfortunately, we had to give Yoda and Anakin up when we lost our home...they have a loving family and a new home now. We still have the cats though...they're twins so with the Star Wars theme we had going, it just seemed logical! Their code names are "death and destruction". Luke is about 15lbs and Leia is a tiny thing at barely 10lbs. 

 

Your 'Yoda' story reminded me. Twenty years ago, my sisters and I called our new nephew "Yoda" - secretly - for the first few months of his life because he had been born with the characteristic ears of my paternal grandmother's relatives. Most of them had ears placed directly perpendicular to their skulls. As my Mom said, the "sugar bowl" or "cream soup cup" look - LOL. Not pointy-ended like the real Yoda, however. We were careful not to let our SIL hear us though, and thankfully the little guy grew out of that phase in fairly-short order. By 6 months or so, his ears had flattened against his head nicely and he had a headful of blond curls like Harpo Marx - no kidding. Once in a while the 3 of us debate whether my SIL - who is very conscious of physical appearance - put a soft headband or something around his ears overnight for the first months. He is really a good-looking kid now, and really always has been.