Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Love2dance]

I just want to go on vacation. No, I am not asking for money lol. It will be a long time since my roomie is so sick with chemo. Ugh.

My daughter's birthday is coming up. She would have been 41. I really don't know how to mark the f**king day.

Yeah, I am bummed. Rough day at hospital. Her next inpatient chemo will last 21 days. OMG.

Hugs and comfort to you, JELLYBEANS. When your roommate is better you will hopefully be able to take that much needed and deserved vacation.

[NextIteration]

Hugs Jellybeans. ♥

[pinkie]

*handing Jellybeans some chocolate & a nice cup of tea*

I'm so sorry you're going thru such a rough sad time.

[wilsie]

Jellybeans, I pray that your roommate's treatment will be successful and that you find peace with your daughter's birthday.  Hugs and blessings.

[latetotheparty]

I took one traditional cruise on princess about 20 years ago.  We did the inside passage (Alaska).  I had a great time, but my friend and I were definitely the youngest people on the ship.  At that point, the entertainment was aimed at people older than us, so we skipped most of it.  However, the scenery was incredible.  It is an easy way to get to places that are otherwise very hard to see.  And we enjoyed all of our shore excursions.  Neither of us had any problems with seasickness.  Most of the time we were in the passage where the waters tend to be calm.

 

More recently I have taken a river cruise on the Amazon.  The ship held 24 passengers.  I had a great time.  We slowly worked our way down the Amazon, stopping at small villages along the way.  The food was good, not great.  The crew was wonderful.  I still exchange music with one of the guys. 

 

I also took a small ship cruise to Panama and Costa Rica.  We toured the small islands of Panama and went through the canal.  Seeing the canal on a smaller ship was really special.  We talked to the crew that comes on board to take the ship through.  We were in the locks on one end with two small sail boats.  On the other end, we shared the lock with a banana boat, which led to a group of us singing various banana-related songs.  We saw one of the really large cruise ships.  It barely fit into the lock on its own.  It seemed like such a different experience.  Being with a smaller group made it easier to interact with people on shore rather than feeling like we were gawking.  There were still some culturally uncomfortable moments in which I felt the local people were being prompted to perform for us. 

 

My favorite cruise was to Antarctica.  This was on what they call an expedition or explorer ship.  The ship wasn’t fancy.  The hull is reinforced.  There is no casino and there is only one restaurant.  We had people from more than 80 countries.  Pretty amazing given that there were only 110 passengers.  We left from Ushuaia Argentina and crossed the Drake Passage.  We hit a major storm.  At one point we were at a more than 45 degree pitch.  The ship actually has a series of handholds in all of the corridors so you can move from one to the next to get down the hall.  There is also a strap from the wall to the bed to keep you from falling out of your bunk.  They actually offer you meds on the ship which I took.  Never needed them on other trips.  We did have a lot of people get sick during the storm.  One of the large cruise ships was also caught in the storm.  They had so many people injured they had to turn around without making it to Antarctica.  The advantage to the small ship was we were better prepared for the storm and the ship is designed to weather it.  Also there was such a sense of adventure among the travelers.  They ranged in age from mid-20s to upper 80s.  And we really got a sense of how hard it must have been for the original explorers to go to Antarctica. 

 

I have friends who really enjoy the traditional cruises.  While I had a good time in Alaska, I am more of a small ship or other forms of travel person.  I will say the big cruises do give you a chance to purely relax on vacation.  There are times when that sounds like heaven.

 

This Antarctic cruise sounds awesome.  I'd love that. 

[allonsyalice]

moving this from the Jessa/Ben thread

Just  to cover all the bases...I'm 5'3", my babies were born, in order, 8 days late, right on target, and a week early. My birthday is Jan 2 (I was actually born about 2 months early as a survivor of unexpected identical twins), which I hate as it falls exactly at the point that everyone is drawing that sigh of relief at seeing the holiday season ending.

 

honestly i don't have much to add, but my birthday is December 23rd (which i share with my brother who is 12 years my senior) so i totally get this feeling. But instead of everyone cooling down, everyone tries to give me a joint present (with christmas, not my older brother) and it's like.....no? okay, it might sound a little bratty of me, but no one else has to share! I've always longed for, like, a middle of summer birthday, honestly.

[kalamac]

I'm an end of November baby, and every year my Nana would give all 4 of us kids the exact same Christmas present (a box of colouring books, pencils and packets of Twisties) and tell me mine was my birthday present as well, even though there wasn't anything extra in it, and my siblings all got actual birthday presents in addition to the Christmas ones. My mother would always tell me it was the thought that counts, but when you're a little kid, you just think that clearly Nana loves the other kids more, or she wouldn't give them extra stuff.

[Happyfatchick]

Many many moons ago, there was a cruise line called Emerald Seas (I think). I went on this cruise because I'd always been dying to go SOMEWHERE on a boat. The ship was a war ship (seriously!!) from WWII. One of the men who shared our dinner table had served on that very ship in the war. I was so in awe of this guy I still have pics of him somewhere. I can *almost* call his name, and it's been 20 years. Bahamas maybe? The passageways still had those weird oval doors you had to step over the threshold. I love water. I love the ocean, I love rivers, lakes, mud puddles, a slip-n-slide. My first sight of the bluuuuue water in the Bahamas took my breath away. There was one poor couple on that cruise for their honeymoon, and we never even MET her (seasickness). He was a nice guy... Several cruises since then until...

Our LAST cruise was such a disaster. It was Carnival while it was no longer the fantastic joyous party ride it always had been. Every bit of staff on that ship was tired of THAT SHIP. The ship wasn't squeaky clean, the food wasn't to brag about, the shows were mediocre at best (and some of the BEST shows I've ever enjoyed were on cruises). The director was bored, it just seemed like the thoughts of all the employees were "I'm sooooo tired". It was not a good experience. A full day before we got back to port, they blocked off the main elevators to renovate them. The main elevators. And while everybody else on the ship was sitting waiting for it to be our turn to get off the next day, there were carpenters on board ripping those bad boys apart. So the WHOLE SHIP full of people had to trudge down clogged stairs to the gangway. It was hot, irritating and sort of degrading, honestly. A girl died on that cruise, by the way (not because of the cruise line). She had a virus of some sort and became severely dehydrated and had to be airlifted off. There were rumors that she had died, but we weren't sure until we arrived home - and were shocked to find out she was from the next little town south of us! She was on this cruise with her mother and grandmother, neither of whom was allowed to get in the helicopter with her. IIRC, she died before making land. Swore I'd never do the cruise thing again.

But now I want to do Alaska. DANG IT, you guys are ALWAYS messing with my resolutions.

[springtime]

The Titanic wreck was first found when I was a child and I binge watched all of the National Geographic specials on it. Now, I'm afraid of being on a ship in deep ocean water. As a kid, we went on cruises to Alaska and Hawaii (Princess cruise line, I think) and I remember having so much fun. Now as an adult, the thought of being on a huge ship in the middle of the deep ocean totally terrifies me. I think I could do a river cruise, if I could see the shore (I'm a swimmer, seeing the shore makes me think I have a shot if the ship goes down, lol), but any ocean cruise where I can't see land is out.

Ironically-In Halifax- many cruisers visit the Titanic museum.

[Almost 3000]

I'm an end of November baby, and every year my Nana would give all 4 of us kids the exact same Christmas present (a box of colouring books, pencils and packets of Twisties) and tell me mine was my birthday present as well, even though there wasn't anything extra in it, and my siblings all got actual birthday presents in addition to the Christmas ones. My mother would always tell me it was the thought that counts, but when you're a little kid, you just think that clearly Nana loves the other kids more, or she wouldn't give them extra stuff.

That's so sad and odd too. What could she have been thinking...

I've mentioned this before that I one of those every once in a while Thanksgiving Birthdays.

My worst was one year my Ex, youngest of 3 boys, decided to rent a motorhome to drive from So CA to the CA/OR border to have the holiday with his eldest brother and his wife. The reason for the motorhome was because the middle brother was broke and his wife was VERY pregnant, they had a crappy car and they couldn't afford to fly plus the motorhome would give an extra bedroom to the get-together once we got there. My ex was really trying to be helpful to make it a nice event for everyone. We would all drive up together. Both the brother and his wife were sick with colds and had fevers so the BIL wasn't much help with the driving and my ex ended up driving most of the way by himself and I tried to stay awake with him but ended up being car sick much of the way. The day we drove up was my birthday and everyone forgot it. When we got there I found out his hosting brother and wife were vegetarians. Not a biggie but they didn't make enough food so I was pretty much starving the whole weekend. My MIL arranged for a family photo shoot the day after Thanksgiving and set-up all kinds of different group shots and I wasn't invited to have my picture taken in any of the group configurations. It was also the oldest brother's birthday that Friday and MIL bought a beautiful big cake with his name on it and as he was blowing out the candles she says, "Oh, Almost 3000 its your cake too! Happy Birthday." Sigh...

[Muffyn]

My birthday is near Labor Day.  I would get school supplies.  My eldest brother’s birthday is near Halloween, so he would get extra candy.  My sister’s was in mid January, so she would get the “one of your Christmas presents was also your birthday present”.  My other brother has a July birthday.  He would actually get a present.  So basically three out of four of us were always overlooked for our birthdays (and cranky about it – like I wasn’t going to get school supplies if it wasn’t my birthday.  Sheesh!). 

 

My niece was born the day after Christmas.  I always send her flowers specifically for her birthday.  It is also more clear that it’s a birthday gift since I don’t celebrate Christmas.  Her boys all have April birthdays.  Even though they’re close, she always makes sure to celebrate each child’s day.  Also, she was raised Jehovah’s Witness so her parents did not celebrate Christmas in a fun way and did not acknowledge her birthday.  Her non-JW relatives always forgot her birthday since it was so close to Christmas, so she feels it’s really important to make each of her son’s feel special for their birthday.  Seems to be working.  They are great kids.

[Love2dance]

KALAMAC, ALMOST 3000, ALLONSYALICE, and MUFFYN, I just want to throw you all a big birthday party with the most wonderous of presents and an awesome cake. Your birthday stories make me sad, so I will stop complaining about my July birthday!

HAPPYFATCHICK, yes, I think you would love the Alaskan inside passage cruise, but definitely book it on one of the newer ships!

[BOOgen3]

My brother and I are one year and nine days apart. We both have mid-November birthdays. Every year for our respective birthdays we both received money with the caveat of "now you have money to buy your Christmas presents for the family." Easy come, easy go I suppose but it still annoys me after all these years (and I am 56).

[Happyfatchick]

My brothers b'day is dec 31 and he ALWAYS complained about being forgotten in the holiday mix. Unfortunately, he's a grump and he complains about everything, so I guess I blew him off about that. Ironically, I went through a spell for many years of making it a point to take him and the SIL out for their birthdays (together, because hers is early January). But the last few years, I let it go because (like I said, he's a grump) he didn't seem to care one way or the other anyway. I kept making a fuss over HER bday, but not his. (She has virtually NO family to sing HBD to her, and she's a girl, so...). Thanks peeps, seriously, for making me see that I need to do better. I'll be taking him out this year and annually afterward. You've made me see it really does matter after all. Poor neglected guy, no wonder he's a grump.

[GeeGolly]

Growing up, August to January included everything. Two August birthdays, one in September, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, then three January birthdays. I never really thought about it until now, but my poor parents probably couldn't wait until February. 

[NextIteration]

Birthdays. In my immediate family, birthdays started for my dad the oldest on Christmas Eve (and we always made a big deal about it separately with gifts and cake, we still do cake as dessert that evening to remember him), and ran monthly through April in order of age.  I always thought that was kind of neat.

 

My daughter was actually born on Labor Day - which made for some really big fun family birthday parties her first couple years with a barbecue, and after that a separate family and friend celebrations (I do have to admit that I used to give some back to school clothes with the toys for that).  My son is one of many January birthdays. I got to pick his so I picked Martin Luther King's actual birthday so it's special. When he was little, always a separate celebration and gifts (usually scooped up during Christmas shopping or something really special from an after-Christmas sale on the "cheap" or cheaper anyways), one with family and one with friends.  Now, we just have one big dinner out with gifts for all the January "babies" (my cousin, my son, my mom and we include my sister who is Feb 2), I don't think anyone feels short-changed.

 

My birthday was pretty neat and I cashed in BIG in 2nd grade - Easter, First Communion and Birthday all in one day.  My birthday has never fallen on Easter Sunday since... and I'm old now, lol.

[GeeGolly]

Birthdays. In my immediate family, birthdays started for my dad the oldest on Christmas Eve (and we always made a big deal about it separately with gifts and cake, we still do cake as dessert that evening to remember him), and ran monthly through April in order of age.  I always thought that was kind of neat.

 

My daughter was actually born on Labor Day - which made for some really big fun family birthday parties her first couple years with a barbecue, and after that a separate family and friend celebrations (I do have to admit that I used to give some back to school clothes with the toys for that).  My son is one of many January birthdays. I got to pick his so I picked Martin Luther King's actual birthday so it's special. When he was little, always a separate celebration and gifts (usually scooped up during Christmas shopping or something really special from an after-Christmas sale on the "cheap" or cheaper anyways), one with family and one with friends.  Now, we just have one big dinner out with gifts for all the January "babies" (my cousin, my son, my mom and we include my sister who is Feb 2), I don't think anyone feels short-changed.

 

My birthday was pretty neat and I cashed in BIG in 2nd grade - Easter, First Communion and Birthday all in one day.  My birthday has never fallen on Easter Sunday since... and I'm old now, lol.

My son has an April birthday. It fell on Easter for his 21st.

[frenchtoast]

My son is around Labor Day, too. (He was born the day before) But it's always a nice way for his friends to have a last hurrah before school. It's still a birthday party, it just works out real well.

 

My daughter, OTOH, is 4 days before Christmas and try as I might, it still ends up being lost somewhat in the planning. Her friends are too busy for a party, I don't make a cake because I'm in the midst of holiday baking and cooking and the weather tends to be crappy. Even so, we buy her a cake (and the kids have the leftovers at Christmas because not all of them are fans of desserts, though everyone devours the truffles), get her birthday presents wrapped in birthday paper, and do something for her birthday--go to a movie, take her out. This year (she turns 10) she's decided she wants to go to the American Girl Doll store with a friend and do the whole shebang--style the doll's hair, get lunch and just have a fun day. 

 

My birthday (and hubby's too) is in February. So, crappy weather but not around any holidays. In fact, hubby's is right around President's weekend. Mine is closer to the Superbowl which is freaking awesome. This year, it was my 40th and the Pats won, so it was a pretty dang good day.

[allonsyalice]

My mother, brother, dad and I are November through until January. My sister is the lone one in April, and I'm jealous. I'm getting my siblings together so we can celebrate my brother's and my birthday in December. Mom was not pleased, because she's obsessed with having the entire family home during the holidays. But like, mom? If you didnt have two kids on the same day, you wouldn't have this problem!!

[amitville]

Jelly i wish i could build you stairs so you can climb up to heaven and have a birthday party with your daughter.  Sadly all I can over you is hugs and kisses from me and the entire board.  

[Catonc]

My sisters and I were all born in December, mine was the latest on Dec 21.  My parents were very keen on making sure that we all got the same number of presents for our birthdays.  I sometimes got combined birthday/Christmas present but it would be a special gift.  The one thing I missed out growing up was being able to celebrate my birthday during the school day, as we were always on Christmas break.  In my own family (husband and two kids), we all are born in a different season, daughter in spring (May), son in summer (July) and husband in fall (Oct).  Nicely spread out throughout the year :)

[Lemur]

Hubby is military, so the only cruises he goes on are aboard Navy ships. He has mentioned European cruises many many years in the future when the boys are grown and on their own. The Disney cruises look like fun, but I can't see him agreeing to a cruise for a vacation at this point in our lives.

 

I avoid Disney like a plague because it's so kid-centric (though they apparently do a stellar job with their adults-only stuff), but more importantly to me, there is no casino.  My brother thought I was nuts when I declined his invite because he knows I love cruising.  I won't step on a ship without a casino.  In this particular case, I was also not ending up as his and his wife's au pair for the week.  I love my niece and nephew, but anytime we do some sort of family function, they push their kids on me with an audible sigh of relief. 

[Catlyn]

Sorry JellyBean, cyber hugs for this tough time!

 

I've already moaned about my mid November birthday, but I really shouldn't be that disappointed. My mother's was the day after Halloween, so sometimes we kids kinda forgot until Dad pointed it out.  (She was lucky as a kid though, her best friend's birthday was Halloween and they both had parties together with a full dress up theme.)  My Dad's birthday was Dec 5, and his father being German, hated that his birthday was St. Nickolas eve.  Luckily his grandparents were American and even though it was during the depression, they did try to celebrate. (Both my parents grew up during the depression, but Mom's family were definitely better off. ) But again, when we were in Germany, Dad's birthday was kind of blown off by us kids until Mom pointed it out. :(  Candy seemed to have a mind-numbing effect on us. We didn't get it often.

 

My sibs birthdays were spring and summer and always got their favorite cakes for their birthdays, while I ended up with pumpkin pie!  The gifts didn't seem to bother me as much as the favorite cakes!

[StaceyNotStacie]

I avoid Disney like a plague because it's so kid-centric (though they apparently do a stellar job with their adults-only stuff), but more importantly to me, there is no casino. My brother thought I was nuts when I declined his invite because he knows I love cruising. I won't step on a ship without a casino. In this particular case, I was also not ending up as his and his wife's au pair for the week. I love my niece and nephew, but anytime we do some sort of family function, they push their kids on me with an audible sigh of relief.

That's the same reason we change the subject whenever it is suggested that we go to Disney with extended family. We have tween boys; everyone else has preschool aged girls.

[Readalot]

I grew up a JW so no birthday parties for me. Our oldest birthday is the day before mine so while we make a big to do for all the birthdays, my bday dinner is eating her leftover party food and sometimes my own cake. But last year I had my very own party and it was so much fun! But when it was cake time everyone just looked at each other. My hubby is so used to me running the party the cake was lit and he didn't think to lead off the singing. But finally someone started and everyome laughed and it was all good.

[CherryMalotte]

I'm a New Years Eve baby as well and a lucky one - my grandparents on both sides always made sure I got Xmas gifts and birthday gifts separately.  My mother used to tell me that the Orange Bowl parade was for me, which I bought until I was about six.

 

Did a bit of a naughty deal the other day - when my dad went into the nursing home for rehab from the hospital my mother has been overwhelmed with a lot of paperwork and such, plus going to see him.  I can only help so much, I've made calls to the VA and gotten a few things straightened out for them.   One of my uncles was calling her incessantly, leaving multiple messages about 'call me back' which have to do with our other problem with my grandmother as we start to find either a nursing home or assisted living space for her.  It was driving mom batty to the point where she wasn't thinking straight.  I had enough after he'd left three messages to her in the space of a morning, and it was NOT an emergency - so I called and spoke to his wife, who immediately got her nasty on, to which I got my nasty on right back.  She has nothing better to do with her time but bark out orders and tell other people what to do, without actually doing anything herself.  Big user too, not full on grift but she knows how to manipulate.  So she says she'll have the uncle call, which he did and I basically ordered him to cease and desist with the multitude of calls, at least for a few days until mom gets her head cleared, unless of course it's an emergency. He wasn't happy but it's worked so far.  Why on earth wouldn't someone already pick up that their sister is under a stressful time and maybe say to themselves 'oh I'll leave her be for awhile' - I never thought he was that self absorbed but sheesh.  Guess I won't be seeing them for the holidays!       

Edited October 29, 2015 by CherryMalotte

[questionfear]

I have no problem with fundamentalists, or any other religious groups, as long as they do not aggressively try to change others or harm others who do not share their beliefs. The Duggars bug me especially because they act so sweet and loving on TV, but are so hateful to anyone not just like them in real life. They are hypocrites and grifters, which I don't respect at all. I actually really love that we are a country of many religions, including no religion.

In theory I have no problem with fundamentalists. People can believe whatever they wish. But it seems like most fundamentalists believe their beliefs trump everyone else's, and have no respect for a separation of church and state. THAT'S why I have a problem with fundamentalists. If they laid off trying to change the rest of the world to look like them, I'd be fine with them. 

[mbutterfly]

Well, if you are a single mom whose hubby runs off that cannot be blamed on you.  You must do what you can do.  But if you choose to have kids with a slime ball or out of wedlock then it is better to choose not to have those kids.  There are good reasons for having children and poor ones (some one will finally love me unconditionally for myself).  As a mom of 2 (and every single other mother out there will agree I believe) I can attest to the fact that having kids is long hard work.  And having a partner to share the tribulations, work, and joy is a tremendous benefit.  Doesn't mean a single mom can't do it, but why would you choose to do it...probably because you have no idea what a difficult job good parenting is. I am not speaking about wealthy movie stars and personalities, but regular folks.  I used to joke that my husband and I wanted to really be farmers...live off the land, work for yourself, etc.  Then I would add, we aren't farmers because we really have no idea how difficult that life can be.  But yes, Dr. Laura can be harsh sometimes.  Don't like her?  Turn the dial.

 

On another topic, do the people who snark on this forum (I include myself) dislike Fundamentalists in general or just those who claim their way of life is the only right one?  I have Fundie cousins in the South and I love them to pieces.  They are good people.  We do not agree on some things, but we are always cordial and loving to each other.  I don't think you can paint all conservative fundamentalists with the same brush.  They are entitled to their beliefs no matter how much we might disagree with them.

I snark on fundamentalism here because, the Duggars. I have people I love who are Fundies, took some Christian writing courses with many Fundies. My theology is based differently but we share more values than we differ on (looking at values broadly -- feed the hungry, visit the sick, love your neighbor). 

Love it! For anyone interested there is a great documentary entitled "For the Bible tells me so" where religious scholars talk about homosexuality and the bible. Also Dr Laura still thinks homosexuality is a psychological disorder. It has been listed in the DSM as a disorder since 1973. Honestly I'm surprised to hear that she still has a radio show I thought she went off the air years ago.

ETA I don't have Sirius so maybe that's why.

I agree with what you say except I think you meant it has not been listed in the DSM as a disorder since 1973. 

[Satchels of gold]

I snark on fundamentalism here because, the Duggars. I have people I love who are Fundies, took some Christian writing courses with many Fundies. My theology is based differently but we share more values than we differ on (looking at values broadly -- feed the hungry, visit the sick, love your neighbor). 

I agree with what you say except I think you meant it has not been listed in the DSM as a disorder since 1973.

Thanks,! Yep that's what I meant. Writing is hard y'all ( to be read in the voice of Brittney Spears). I don't know if it's because I'm using an iPad but I always seem to have to edit every post for some stupid mistake .

[magpye29]

I used to listen to Dr. Laura.  I thought it was cool that she was trying to live as a kosher Jew, but when she gave that up and whined that it was too hard and she wasn't getting anything out of it, I stopped listening to her.  She was always telling people to do the right thing even if it was hard, but she was a hypocrite when it came to following her own religion.  It IS hard to be an Orthodox Jew, but she had money and resources available to her that many people don't have to make observing Shabbos easier.  I think it just came down to she wanted to do things on Shabbos (Friday night through Saturday evening) that were not in line with being frum, so she shrugged it all off.  

 

My husband tried living Orthodox style (didn't mix meat and dairy, observed Shabbos and all the holy days major and minor, was lay leader of the Jewish community near our military base, etc.).  I refused to kasher the kitchen while he was active-duty army because he was deployed so often and I didn't want to live Orthodox when he wasn't around, being the bacon cheeseburger loving Catholic that I am.  He was so awful about the few mistakes that we made that the kids and I refused point-blank to convert to Judaism for him.  He completely walked away from it all when he realized he'd been a jerk about it and we were not going to follow him on that faith journey.

Edited October 29, 2015 by magpye29

[emma675]

I have a July 3rd birthday--rarely had parties as a kid because 1) everyone was always on vacation and 2) I'm a Cancer and I hate to be the center of attention, lol.

[CherryMalotte]

I have a July 3rd birthday--rarely had parties as a kid because 1) everyone was always on vacation and 2) I'm a Cancer and I hate to be the center of attention, lol.

 

See now if you had my mother she would have told you that the fireworks were all for you!

[mbutterfly]

I used to listen to Dr. Laura.  I thought it was cool that she was trying to live as a kosher Jew, but when she gave that up and whined that it was too hard and she wasn't getting anything out of it, I stopped listening to her.  She was always telling people to do the right thing even if it was hard, but she was a hypocrite when it came to following her own religion.  It IS hard to be an Orthodox Jew, but she had money and resources available to her that many people don't have to make observing Shabbos easier.  I think it just came down to she wanted to do things on Shabbos (Friday night through Saturday evening) that were not in line with being frum, so she shrugged it all off.  

 

My husband tried living Orthodox style (didn't mix meat and dairy, observed Shabbos and all the holy days major and minor, was lay leader of the Jewish community near our military base, etc.).  I refused to kasher the kitchen while he was active-duty army because he was deployed so often and I didn't want to live Orthodox when he wasn't around, being the bacon cheeseburger loving Catholic that I am.  He was so awful about the few mistakes that we made that the kids and I refused point-blank to convert to Judaism for him.  He completely walked away from it all when he realized he'd been a jerk about it and we were not going to follow him on that faith journey.

I had forgotten that during the days I listened she was very serious about her Orthodox Judaism. I did especially enjoy learning about that through the eyes of a convert. 

[Bella]

I have a friend with a Christmas birthday and her family just flat-out does a twist on the Christmas-in-July thing. I don't know how they explained it to her when she was a little girl, but she always has a birthday party in late July. Now that she's an adult, her husband throws that same party for her. She's the only adult I know who has a big birthday party every single year without fail. 

[Love My Grandkids]

Hi all. First time poster. I have the worst birthday it is February 29th. So when I was growing up I only had a party every 4 years :(

[bigskygirl]

I love doctors so much. Now the cardiologist thinks "deconditioning" is the reason for the increase heart rate when I started on the treadmill, and my heart rate decreasing when I keep exercising (heart rate started at 186 and my blood pressure shot up to 225/120 when I started walking on the treadmill.) She suggested regular aerobic activity to improve my overall physical conditioning. The other cardiologist thought I had "supraventricular tachycardia" after my first stress test and echocardiogram. No signs of damage/disease/or blocked coronary arteries (if I had a blocked artery I would have had a heart attack by now.) No idea why this has been going on for two and a half freaking years or started a few months after I started the one medication after the radiation ablation treatment. I am so tired of doctors telling me to exercise or eat better will solve the problem. Does this explain why my allergies act up more since the treatment and I have the chest pressure/pain or sometimes have mild shortage of breath when my allergies kick in. Is the blasted sleep apnea causing this (doctor does not seem to think so.) I was fine before the blasted treatment. Should I just go along with what the doctors are saying and be sick and miserable with chest pain/tachycardia/mild shortage of breath at times with no real answers. Do I go and get a second opinion? What happens when the exercising does not help? GRRR!!!  UGH!!!

[Skittl1321]

Hugs to you Jellybeans!

 

I'm having a damn shitty day myself.  I don't even know how to process thoughts right now.

[Bella]

Hugs, BSG.

 

Get the second opinion. Sometimes they're guessing, and that sounds like what's happening with you.

[kathe5133]

I loved my birthday as a child, but as and adult.... Hate it! Those who were formerly in my life, and this is just one small part of why they are no longer in my life, insisted I celebrate their way. One friend who has since died, insisted on helping me celebrate with his friends. I did not enjoy the company of his friends, but had to endure it to celebrate my birthday or it appeared that I wasn't grateful. Another group insisted on a birthday cake. I hate cake, I hate sweets. One year I suggested that my "cake" be actually a wheel of Brie. Good idea I thought, but they made me have it before dinner because there was a birthday cake for after dinner as it was feared that the lack of birthday cake would cause emotional trauma to the children that were attending. Really? Are their pschyche's (sp?) so fragile that singing happy birthday over a wheel of cheese could cause emotional damage? One year everyone forgot. It was a Sunday and HBO was showing the last season of Sex and the City for free on demand. I watched them all in blissful solitude. It was the best birthday ever! Since then I flatly refuse any kind of mention. I don't answer the phone, and requests for drinks or dinner are politely declined. I celebrate alone, with no drama and it is very peaceful.

[Twopper]

 

I have a friend with a Christmas birthday and her family just flat-out does a twist on the Christmas-in-July thing. I don't know how they explained it to her when she was a little girl, but she always has a birthday party in late July. Now that she's an adult, her husband throws that same party for her. She's the only adult I know who has a big birthday party every single year without fail.

  My uncle was born on Dec 25th and moved his birthday to the 26th to avoid the one gift for both events.  My grandmother (other side of the family) was born on the 31st of December and felt overlooked in all the holiday celebrations. When she was 6 or 7, she announced her birthday from then on would be August 31st, and she made a really big deal of it every year.

 

My birthday is Nov 2nd (hint, hint!) and I got teased for missing being born on  Halloween (my due date) and Nov 1st (All Saints' Day). Nov 2 is All Souls' day.  I guess the universe was trying to tell me something. 

 

Oh, and we got presents twice----Dec 25th and January 6th.

[Jellybeans]

Hugs to you Jellybeans!

 

I'm having a damn shitty day myself.  I don't even know how to process thoughts right now.

I am sorry Skittl1321. I know that feeling. The last two days my roomie has been very distraught and the social worker and me are trying to help but it is draining.... I am trying to process my own grief issues with my daughter's death as well as her unexpected relapse.

I am sorry... I know you are having a hard time and there are no words... but we are here to listen. :-(

[Wok Chop]

Bigskygirl, I am so sorry!

I think your doctor is full of shit. It just seems too easy for some doctors to blame the patient when a diagnosis is not readily available. I am just not buying the idea that your cardiac issues can be cured through aerobic activity. With a BP and heart rate like you experienced today, I'd be afraid of having a heart attack on the treadmill.

I wish I could send a competent cardiologist your way, but you'll have to settle for a virtual hug instead.

[bigskygirl]

jellybeans and Skittl1321 {{{HUGS}}} You are in my thoughts.

 

Wok Chop, the high heart beat and blood pressure were from my echocardiogram and treadmill stress test I had in August. I was surprised when I saw how high they both were when I started on the treadmill. They both went down after I kept walking, but I was not feeling well at all. I was not happy about the other cardiologist allegedly not reading the results right, and the nurse practitioner saying I had a possible murmur. Yes, my heart looks good, but I am still have chest pain/pressure during the day and sometimes my heart feels like I am missing or skipping heart beats. Two and a half years of this going on and no answers. I agree about getting exercise, but I do not agree this will solve the problem. She was also disappointed I was only on the treadmill for six minutes. I was lucky I did not pass out because the chest pain/pressure was unbearable and my heart was pounding.

[Love2dance]

I love doctors so much. I was fine before the blasted treatment. Do I go and get a second opinion? What happens when the exercising does not help? GRRR!!!  UGH!!!

Yes, BIGSKYGIRL, absolutely insist on a second opinion, and even a third. You deserve answers. So sorry you are having to continue to deal with this.

Hugs and gentle, comforting, thoughts for you, BIGSKYGIRL, JELLYBEANS AND SKITTL1331. Why does life have to be so hard sometimes?

[barbedwire]

Honest opinions please!

 

My sister-in-law ("Anne") likes to get things done early.  She is from a big fundy-lite family. 

 

In the past 20+ years, we have gotten together with them on Christmas Day and she gets together with her family on Christmas Eve.  Works out especially when my 2 kids got jobs in retail.  They have major holidays off when the stores are closed but other days are a crap shoot if they will work or  not.

 

She left me a voice mail saying that they (her and my brother and their kids) want to do things differently this year. They bought a cabin on a lake so they want to have Christmas Eve with her family, then drive to lake the next day and stay through New Year's day.  Their own family celebration (and I know they shoot off cool fireworks over this lake on New Year's Eve).  So she wants every year just to figure out another day we can get together.

 

I left her a voice mail then saying that is really hard with the retail jobs but maybe we can have Christmas Eve at my house every other year and she can rotate with her family.  My kids have a better shot of getting that day off then a Saturday or Sunday before such a big shopping holiday.  She called me and said no.  She wants to do it her way.  I explained if it was at my house the kids could at least be there for an hour or 2 before their shift.  Still no.  "Their" mind is made up.  (I think my brother really doesn't care either way.)

 

How would you feel if this was said to you?  I really feel like last place in their lives.

Edited October 29, 2015 by barbedwire

[amitville]

Yes, BIGSKYGIRL, absolutely insist on a second opinion, and even a third. You deserve answers. So sorry you are having to continue to deal with this.

Hugs and gentle, comforting, thoughts for you, BIGSKYGIRL, JELLYBEANS AND SKITTL1331. Why does life have to be so hard sometimes?

 

Beautiful.  

[bigskygirl]

I have ranted about having the one treatment, but the specialist I see for my hypothyroid/non-functioning thyroid told me I could ended up with some unpleasant side effects from the anti-thyroid med I was taking for the Graves Disease. I trust him and know he is telling the truth. It is frustrating to be sick and miserable for so long after the idiot doctor in Great Falls told me my quality of life would improve and I would feel better. Sometimes I think he made mistakes with the treatment and of course afterwards with the misreading of  my blood tests results for two years.

[Jellybeans]

 

How would you feel if this was said to you?  I really feel like last place in their lives.

You asked for an honest opinion. After years of holiday traumas caused by this person or that person I look back and kick myself in the ass... I should have done what I wanted and ignored everyone else. Including their opinions. I swear, the holidays cause more neuroses than clowns!

I would not take it personally but I would do exactly what you wanted to and no, you do not owe your sister-in-law an explanation.

[barbedwire]

Thank you!  I do appreciate that.

[Pixie Chicken]

On another topic, do the people who snark on this forum (I include myself) dislike Fundamentalists in general or just those who claim their way of life is the only right one?  I have Fundie cousins in the South and I love them to pieces.  They are good people.  We do not agree on some things, but we are always cordial and loving to each other.  I don't think you can paint all conservative fundamentalists with the same brush.  They are entitled to their beliefs no matter how much we might disagree with them.

 

I don't dislike anyone based on their religious beliefs.  I've mentioned here before that I'm a Christian; our family is quite active in church.  I can't imagine our faith NOT being a big part of our life.  BUT.  That doesn't mean I line up theologically with all other Christians -- certainly not with fundamentalists, and not always with evangelicals.  We're technically part of the Calvinist churches, but I don't like or agree with the Seewalds' ridiculous posts, either. 

 

I'd actually go a step further and say that the hateful speech and behavior demonstrated by the most vocal "Christians" isn't anything like Jesus, and in fact makes a really poor witness.  Not all Christians are homophobic bigots.  We aren't all sheltered weirdos.  I'm a stay at home mom, but by CHOICE.  I went to college, and I have more formal education than my husband, in fact.  I worked for close to a decade before having kids.  I wasn't forced into a barefoot-and-pregnant lifestyle because of my church, or by my parents, or my "headship," like the Duggar girls.  It's something I wanted to do, and we can afford to live on one income in large part because I had a career first, and we used my income during that period to purchase a home, pay off student loan debt, and save for the future.   

 

Most of my closest friends are Christians, but not necessarily within the same denomination.  Some of my friends are atheists.  A handful are fundamentalists. I don't agree with everything they believe, but that's true even of my friends within my own congregation.  I think there's a lot of gray area, and none of us really know for certain what is "right." 

 

Quite a few friends are believers but no longer go to church.  It makes me said when they say things like, "I wish I could take my family to church, but I can't get on board with the judginess and drama."  How depressing, that so many people think that church has to be all about condemnation -- but I understand where they get that idea.

 

I'm having a damn shitty day myself.  I don't even know how to process thoughts right now.

Skittl, I hope this isn't what I think.  Hugs and prayers to you.