S09.E11: Wedding Countdown!

[Mrsjumbo]

I would pay good money to see Jana tell her parents to go to hell, then walk out of there and never look back. That poor girl is nothing more than an unappreciated slave to that family and if God is the kind and loving entity that I've been taught that He is, then He'll intervene and get Jana out of that mess she's in.

I agree. Since Jana doesn't seem to want a career, my wish for her is that she meets & marries a nice guy, moves way across the country so the Duggars won't take advantage of her & have her "help out" at their house or they "drop in" at hers, & she takes her time before having kids so she can have a break & live in somewhat normalcy just taking care of her DH.

[NikSac]

Well, if JillandDerrickDillard ever move out of the house and the 100 photos have to go, JimBob will send Bin over with a tub of spackle. No worry.

 

Toothpaste actually works too - the white paste kind, not the gel. Plus it makes the house smell minty fresh. I've only tried this in rentals and never had to paint over it, so I'm not too sure how the painting later worked out, but the toothpaste worked great to fill the holes... plus, you can save the difference in the price between cheapo toothpaste as opposed to spackle.

[NausetGirl]

Once again, the Duggars speak half-assed. When Derick was interrogated at a yogurt shop about finances and debt, JB gave that scenario about the engine blowing, etc., they didn't offer what they should do in that circumstance! They are very good at not clarifying anything they say, nor are they asked any follow up questions by the off camera producers as to "what do they mean by that"? So annoying.

Also, did anyone catch the girls in the bedroom saying how Jill was "taking all the GOOD clothes" from their closet with her? I can't believe that it was confirmed that these women don't have a closet of their own or a section of the family closet that is theirs....what, do they share panties, too? Can't believe how dirty these people actually live...

Can't say enough about CinderJana and how she slaved away at that sewing machine...speak up, woman! I'm sure this isn't the first time Jill has bulldozed over her, either. It seemed quite natural for Jill to assume Jana would fulfill her "request", didn't it? But, Jana should have asked for help.

Once again, the Duggars are NOT qualified marital counselors nor are they clergy. They are not qualified to do ALL of the pre marital counseling. I am quite surprised the pastor of the church they "rented" for the ceremony didn't insist on proper counseling from him. ( I know they don't believe in female clergy). His sanctuary was good enough for the Duggar Wedding Spectacle, but it's not good enough for the Duggars to learn a thing or two every Sunday, is it? If I were the pastor, I would have refused them as they are not members and they would have to go to Derick's family's church to be married, like other people.

I also think it was quite out of line for JB to comment on his daughter's sex life AT ALL. Once again, flamboyant modesty! These people are showboats no matter what they do and that is NOT being modest or humble.

 

Amen to everything!  But worst of all was JB's comment about Jill being pregnant. I could not believe my ears on that one. It reminded me of the line my college roommate used to describe her 15-year old brother, "You know, hormones with feet..."  I wouldn't be surprised to hear Dim Bulb telling his older sons "Hey, guess what? I saw a girl's boobs last night." 

[Barb23]

Did they say where all the "friends" of the Duggars stayed? Did they set up camp on the compound? Were the Bates given priority accommodations?

I guess it did add up to a thousand guests (or whatever the grand total was) when the fundie families showed up each with 10+ kids. Did Boob & Mullet steal the ATI mailing list for people to invite?

I wish we could sit Boob & Mullet down & have them explain the hug explanation again with clips from this episode. Sometimes they were doing the side hugs, other times a full frontal one. How come you have to give a family member a side hug when it looked like Mullet gave the nail lady a full frontal?

Seeing Michael wheeling his suitcase was cute & brought back a funny memory for me. My then 5 yr old son took his on our vacation to Florida. After arriving at the airport in Florida, he couldn't steer or pull it too well & was bumping into things & kept stopping to fix it. My husband was getting very frustrated & I think he ended up carrying it. Needless to say, it was checked baggage on our flight home.

[NausetGirl]

I gotta say. The girls did a nice job on the house. Jim Bob's smarmy "this is better than we had" got old.

 

 

No kidding, Boob - you were 18 effing years old when you got married. Maybe if you could have controlled those industrial-strength hormones of yours until you had some financial security and werewithal, you and MeChelle could have had a decent home when you were married too.

[lottiedottie]

I adore Josh's kids. They are just so cute. They seem pretty normal, too. I love Kynzie's explanation of she's going to 'know and know and know a guy and then marry him' speech. Like, right on, girl! You get to know a boy before you marry him unlike everyone else in your family!

[bigskygirl]

Funny Anna made comments about Jana being taken advantage of when she has Jana come to D.C. to help her with her children. Poor Jana goes from taking care of her younger siblings to help take care of her niece and nephews because Anna has a hard time dealing with her three young children. Either way, Jana loses.

 

Mackenzie may say she will get to know the guy she wants to marry, but the chances of this is slim since Josh will pick the guy for her. She also probably will be watch like a hawk when she gets to court.

[glow]

No kidding, Boob - you were 18 effing years old when you got married. Maybe if you could have controlled those industrial-strength hormones of yours until you had some financial security and werewithal, you and MeChelle could have had a decent home when you were married too.

 

Huh? Jill and Derick aren't in the financial position to even dream of that home. It was gifted to them. The issue isn't it being "decent". It's that it's pretty much a mansion or close to it. This has nothing to hormones or saving money and everything to do with Jill lucking into a father who invested in real estate and had a spare mansion by the time she got engaged. Jim Bob didn't. Her father is pretty much loaded by the time she married. Jim Bob wasn't in that situation. Anyway, Jim Bob and Michelle's first home was probably fine for newlyweds. Their home before their current dwelling only looked bad (and I remember those episodes) because they had too many kids per square footage at that point. 

Edited October 16, 2014 by glow

[Brooklynista]

When I look at poor Josie being fed her lines in the talking heads I wonder....is this how Priscilla started out?

Priscilla Part Deux

[NausetGirl]

Huh? Jill and Derick aren't in the financial position to even dream of that home. It was gifted to them. The issue isn't it being "decent". It's that it's pretty much a mansion or close to it. This has nothing to hormones or saving money and everything to do with Jill lucked into a father who invested in real estate and had a spare house by the time she got engaged. Jim Bob didn't. Her father is pretty much loaded by the time she married. Jim Bob wasn't in that situation. Anyway, Jim Bob and Michelle's first home was probably fine for newlyweds. Their home before their current dwelling only looked bad (and I remember those episodes) because they had too many kids per square footage at that point. 

 

Glow - let me clarify. I wasn't implying in any way, shape or form that Jill and Derick worked hard for what they've been given. Obviously they didn't. JB was bitching that the house he was giving Dill was "better than we had..."  as a newlywed. My point was that he was an 18-year old kid when he married, working in a grocery store, and if he & MeChelle had waited and worked before marriage, their first house could have been better than whatever they actually ended up with at that time.

Edited October 16, 2014 by NausetGirl

[GEML]

It's kind of weird how in Fundie world it seems like people will know hundreds of families, but aren't really close with any of them. When Boob was introducing that one guy he didn't even know any of the man's kids and then Joy came up to him and told him a family was here but she had no idea who they were. Am I off? Do any of you have hundreds of random "sort of-aquaintances-but-not-really-friends" type of people over to your house? It's just so odd to me.

It absolutely works like this. Fundamentalism is sort of like FB friends, in that you may only really be close to a handful, but you "know" everyone, and "prayer chains" were the original FB pages. Weddings can be enormous, and you don't so much as invite people, but whole churches and even sometimes communities depending on what particular type of fundamentalism you're part of.

This is what I keep trying to explain about the nature of the "love offerings" and the registries and all of that. I was on the fringes of all of this - my wedding and leading up to it looked an awful lot like Josh and Anna's with dozens of people offering to do this or that for me as their gift. My guest list was 450, and I received gifts from dozens more I didn't know who didn't make the cut. My gown had netting to the chin but still wasn't modest enough. I had four ministers officiating and countless more in the audience. Thankfully, that. "Save the first kiss for the wedding" hadn't hit yet, but that type of talk was enormous in our circles.

I have to think that over the years the Duggars have given to people in their world as much as they've gotten. I think this because people within it do really seem fond of them on the superficial level. I think they do tire of them (I think the Bates, especially Kelly, hide their irritation with them, but there is real irritation) but there is a general sense of camaraderie. You can say it's because they are famous or on TV, but to be honest, that's not very important in this world. If anything, that's potentially against them. But their internal world does seem to like them. So they must do their part within it, and TLC just doesn't show it.

But yeah, they know all about each other but don't know each other. They can all fellowship together (and I'm not using that word facetiously) because they all speak the same language. But unless they are really good name/faces people - and I'm talking politician level good name/faces people, they can't remember who is who.

It is a weird subculture, but like anything you grow up in, it's normal to you growing up in it.

[skittle223]

Did anyone else notice in the coming attractions to Jill's actual wedding that she AND Erin Bates said exactly the same thing just before their wedding ceremony? "I'm scared!" is what both of them said. I think it's because that was the one moment when those two girls actually realized that they were getting married and it's forever, they were not sure they knew the guy well enough to commit. Brides have some nerves before the wedding usually, and that's normal, but I think it's because they had a moment of reality hit them...What do you all think?

Totally agree about the reality hitting. I knew my engagement was coming and was super excited. A few days later I completely freaked out and almost gave the ring back, I was terrified my whole engagement and had a breakdown after the rehersal. The morning of the wedding, I was completely calm and couldn't wait. I think I remember Jill saying in last nights episode that she wasn't nervous, which I thought was weird. Did she really not think of the reality of the situation until the day of?

[cereality]

Funny Anna made comments about Jana being taken advantage of when she has Jana come to D.C. to help her with her children. Poor Jana goes from taking care of her younger siblings to help take care of her niece and nephews because Anna has a hard time dealing with her three young children. Either way, Jana loses.

 

Mackenzie may say she will get to know the guy she wants to marry, but the chances of this is slim since Josh will pick the guy for her. She also probably will be watch like a hawk when she gets to court.

Maybe or maybe not. I think Anna is wiser than she seems, and she may actually have had the passing thought of -- wow I didn't know Josh at all before we married and thank God that went ok for me, I can't believe my parents took a huge chance. By the time Mac marries there will have been many Duggar fundie courtships and weddings. Let's be honest -- statistically not all will be great; there will be a few who will marry guys with red flags -- be it abusers or unable to provide or whatever -- and it won't work out as well as the family would have hoped. I think Anna's own thankfulness for her experience as well as a few stories of how bad things can go when you jump to marry the first guy that looks at you will frighten her enough to let Mac get to know a guy before marriage -- i.e. the pendulum will swing away from their extremism a bit. As for Josh, he may not be for it, but I have a feeling Anna has a LOT of saying in the raising of the kids. Plus who knows what the future holds for Josh. If they stay in DC for the next 15 yrs or even for another 5 yrs, I can see Josh going fundie lite and then Mac getting to know someone won't seem as terrible to him as he will be surrounded by conservative Christians whose kids do in fact date.

[Temperance]

I agree. Since Jana doesn't seem to want a career, my wish for her is that she meets & marries a nice guy, moves way across the country so the Duggars won't take advantage of her & have her "help out" at their house or they "drop in" at hers, & she takes her time before having kids so she can have a break & live in somewhat normalcy just taking care of her DH.

I don't think she wants to get married. Why would she since the only concepts she has of marriage are her parents and her sibs? She may not feel comfortable being Michelle and making the oldest daughter do all the work. I don't know if she wants a career, so few careers are open to Duggar girls she may not feel like she can talk about them. But lately all her comments point to her wanting to be single and not a mommy/wife. She's CinderJana now and if she gets married she'll be CinderJana with his last name in her own house. I think she'd have to elope fast if she met someone who wouldn't be like Derrick and Ben tow the family line, "We're going to welcome as many children as God gives us." I think Jim Boob sees that as a requirement. My dream for her is she moves out and lives on her own to absorb other ideas about family and child-raising, which right she seems open to. (Meaning Jill seems happy to aspire to 19 kids, but I'm not sure Jana does.) Maybe finds a career, maybe a husband, but escapes her family enough to be able to make her own decisions about kids or not. I could her see choosing not to have kids if she could or maybe having a few or whatever, but I do hope she escapes first.

Edited October 16, 2014 by Temperance

[KitKat]

Sad thing is the parents will be be too old to care for the younger kids in 15 years.....I know the older ones will get sweet release....

[OpieTaylor]

I'm so sick of hearing over and over in every episode about how sad everyone is that Jill is leaving and how whatever they're doing is the "last time" they'll do it all together before things change. It's not that these aren't legitimate feelings, but that they're repeated in every episode several times. Surely most of the people who watch the show are frequent watchers - we've heard all this already!  It's like it's the same show every week with a couple of different scenes thrown in. The other repeat topics are "no touching in courtship," "hand-holding only in engagement," and "saving first kiss for marriage." Every effing episode!  Did you hear MEchelle tell the kids who were going to act out the engagement "don't touch each other" because Jill and Derick were in courtship then -- they're just so obsessed with all these rules.  I feel like it's lazy show-making.

[mythoughtis]

By the time Jordyn gets married (Josie won't), Jim Bob and Michelle won't remember which child she is and will get her confused with their grandchildren.  They won't pay for anything, nor will they care if she elopes.   That's really what they mean by 'not being able to do the same for all of the kids'. I can bet that Michelle will have sent anyone left at home after she turns 55 to Jana's to be raised, as she will claim infirmity.

[KitKat]

I am pretty sure you do not plan a pregnancy if you believe in God, it is just suppose to happen.  Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't....I don't think you force your daughters to say "Mom, run to bed, it is time to make another Duggar"

[Mrsjumbo]

They are sad Jill is leaving. My God, it's only 20-30 min away! You would think she's moving to Nepal.

[BitterApple]

GEML, thanks for the insight!

 

I agree that the family's comments about this being the "last time" they'll do such and such with Jill is ridiculous. She moved twenty minutes away, it's not like she's out of state or anything. 

 

I'm starting to find Jana and JD's reticence about courting a little odd. I understand that marriage isn't everyone's cup of tea, especially in a culture that places huge expectations on both parties, but it is a pretty universal trait for young people to want love and companionship (not to mention sex). There's a reason we have hormones, after all. Their detachment towards the whole idea is a little unusual for two 25 year-olds. 

Edited October 16, 2014 by BitterApple

[RazzleberryPie]

I'm so sick of hearing over and over in every episode about how sad everyone is that Jill is leaving and how whatever they're doing is the "last time" they'll do it all together before things change. It's not that these aren't legitimate feelings, but that they're repeated in every episode several times. Surely most of the people who watch the show are frequent watchers - we've heard all this already!  It's like it's the same show every week with a couple of different scenes thrown in. The other repeat topics are "no touching in courtship," "hand-holding only in engagement," and "saving first kiss for marriage." Every effing episode!  Did you hear MEchelle tell the kids who were going to act out the engagement "don't touch each other" because Jill and Derick were in courtship then -- they're just so obsessed with all these rules.  I feel like it's lazy show-making.

Seriously, Jill's moving down the street, not going off to war.

[glow]

Doesn't marriage change things, though, and that's what they're reacting to. I think their bittersweet reactions are fine. I also think that as they grow up and marry off, and they see what it's like to have multiple married sisters, and probably being engaged themselves, it'll normalize.

[cereality]

They are sad Jill is leaving. My God, it's only 20-30 min away! You would think she's moving to Nepal.

I think it's over the top but I do get it. The older girls are really each other's only friends and they're practically together 24-7 (at least they were until the last yr or 2 when Jill picked up midwifery). Most siblings -- even if they are best friends and live together -- are not physically together as much as them bc each sibling would have her own school/work and friends and then after those obligations are done, they'd hang out. Here -- no one goes anywhere without their pack of sisters. Yes she's only 20 min away, but this is also a "marriage before everything" culture and they know that. It won't be like "regular" females who get married, who can still go out to girls night or happy hr drinks or whatever with their girlfriends without need their husband's permission or having their husbands in tow (esp before kids bc you just don't have as much responsibility and frankly he'd probably want to watch a game or get drinks with his guy friends too). In their culture, I bet the girls realize right off the bat that Jill will be "expected" (may be her own expectation rather than Derick's) to be home with Derick a lot more and when they do come over esp in the evenings -- they will come over together. They may like Derick but they hardly know him and likely will be even more reserved when he is around. Granted Jill doesn't work so she has days free to spend with her sisters, but I'm guessing they aren't focusing on that bc they want the world to think she'll be a midwife or alternatively it has been beaten into their heads that a wife's place is at home cooking dinner for her man, not hanging with her sisters all day.

Plus I don't see Derick really clicking with or even being comfortable around any of his brothers in law -- he just has nothing in common with them. So when they come over, it's not like Jill can run off to her old room to gossip with her sisters or paint nails or do whatever they do when they "fellowship," leaving Derick to hang with the boys because Derick will just be sitting there uncomfortably with males aged 24 to 10 staring at him as he shifts around uncomfortably in his sports coat. So any girl time the older sisters get with Jill will come with Derick in tow, which is just different.

[msblossom]

It absolutely works like this. Fundamentalism is sort of like FB friends, in that you may only really be close to a handful, but you "know" everyone, and "prayer chains" were the original FB pages. Weddings can be enormous, and you don't so much as invite people, but whole churches and even sometimes communities depending on what particular type of fundamentalism you're part of.

This is what I keep trying to explain about the nature of the "love offerings" and the registries and all of that. I was on the fringes of all of this - my wedding and leading up to it looked an awful lot like Josh and Anna's with dozens of people offering to do this or that for me as their gift. My guest list was 450, and I received gifts from dozens more I didn't know who didn't make the cut. My gown had netting to the chin but still wasn't modest enough. I had four ministers officiating and countless more in the audience. Thankfully, that. "Save the first kiss for the wedding" hadn't hit yet, but that type of talk was enormous in our circles.

I have to think that over the years the Duggars have given to people in their world as much as they've gotten.

But yeah, they know all about each other but don't know each other. They can all fellowship together (and I'm not using that word facetiously) because they all speak the same language. But unless they are really good name/faces people - and I'm talking politician level good name/faces people, they can't remember who is who.

It is a weird subculture, but like anything you grow up in, it's normal to you growing up in it.

I had no idea of your history, other than you seemed quite knowledgable, now I know why. Thank you for sharing that.

[NikSac]

It absolutely works like this. Fundamentalism is sort of like FB friends, in that you may only really be close to a handful, but you "know" everyone, and "prayer chains" were the original FB pages. Weddings can be enormous, and you don't so much as invite people, but whole churches and even sometimes communities depending on what particular type of fundamentalism you're part of.

This is what I keep trying to explain about the nature of the "love offerings" and the registries and all of that. I was on the fringes of all of this - my wedding and leading up to it looked an awful lot like Josh and Anna's with dozens of people offering to do this or that for me as their gift. My guest list was 450, and I received gifts from dozens more I didn't know who didn't make the cut. My gown had netting to the chin but still wasn't modest enough. I had four ministers officiating and countless more in the audience. Thankfully, that. "Save the first kiss for the wedding" hadn't hit yet, but that type of talk was enormous in our circles.

I have to think that over the years the Duggars have given to people in their world as much as they've gotten. I think this because people within it do really seem fond of them on the superficial level. I think they do tire of them (I think the Bates, especially Kelly, hide their irritation with them, but there is real irritation) but there is a general sense of camaraderie. You can say it's because they are famous or on TV, but to be honest, that's not very important in this world. If anything, that's potentially against them. But their internal world does seem to like them. So they must do their part within it, and TLC just doesn't show it.

But yeah, they know all about each other but don't know each other. They can all fellowship together (and I'm not using that word facetiously) because they all speak the same language. But unless they are really good name/faces people - and I'm talking politician level good name/faces people, they can't remember who is who.

It is a weird subculture, but like anything you grow up in, it's normal to you growing up in it.

 

Interesting insight, thank you! I had a very hard time keeping our wedding at 120 and people were still flipping out that we "forgot" to invite them (when we barely knew them). We set a rule early on that if we hadn't seen them in a social/personal setting in the previous 12 months they weren't on our invite list and we still had to make exceptions. My Southern Baptist Grandma (who was no longer alive at the time) would have been appalled that it was so small, I'm sure. Seems like there's so much pressure on these poor kids to marry someone they barely know in front of hundreds of people they barely know.

 

I think Jill got all greedy and Jessa's headed that direction, but still, pretty stressful situation. Which leads to a barely related random thought that just hit me - I originally thought those gift registries were to stock up at MeChelle and JB's house but I wonder if they're intended as future "love offerings" to other families? They're at that age where they may be getting invited to a gazillion weddings, especially in their circle of 'friends.'

[NikSac]

GEML, thanks for the insight!

 

I agree that the family's comments about this being the "last time" they'll do such and such with Jill is ridiculous. She moved twenty minutes away, it's not like she's out of state or anything.

 

Yes thanks Geml! 

 

I agree - if anything I think she'd be lonely at home by herself, and would want at least some of the kids around just for company. She's used to living with so many people, I would think that living in a huge house with only one person who's gone at work most of the day would be a hard adjustment. And it's close enough, it seems like it'd be easy for the kids to come visit her.

[Barb23]

GEML, thanks for the insight!

I agree that the family's comments about this being the "last time" they'll do such and such with Jill is ridiculous. She moved twenty minutes away, it's not like she's out of state or anything.

I'm starting to find Jana and JD's reticence about courting a little odd. I understand that marriage isn't everyone's cup of tea, especially in a culture that places huge expectations on both parties, but it is a pretty universal trait for young people to want love and companionship (not to mention sex). There's a reason we have hormones, after all. Their detachment towards the whole idea is a little unusual for two 25 year-olds.

I think Jana has realized what being in a courtship means in this family (You have to marry first guy who courts you, forget about your feelings ) & her 2 sisters haven't been exactly models for her to follow. Jessa didn't seem too enthused when Ben asked her to court & by what Jana has seen between the two of them, she may realize this marriage won't last with this type of foundation. Then there's Jill, who fell in love with a guy she only talked to via a computer a thousand miles away from home. We only saw a small portion on TV of how Jill acted - the countdown til Derickdillard got home, how she constantly talked / giggled about how great he is, (even Mullet said she knew more things about him than she cared to know. Lol.) etc. Could you imagine what it was like living with & listening to her 24 /7? I don't blame her for wanting to wait.

Now for John Doofus, I offer no explanation - he just grosses me out. guffaw guffaw.

[OpieTaylor]

I agree that the sisters and the parents are going to feel bittersweet about Jill growing up and leaving home. I just don't get why they keep telling us that about 3 times in every episode. It seems like the people putting the episodes together aren't very creative to come up with some interesting different things to talk to the Duggars about, or the Duggars can't think of much else to say.  I did see really touching genuine emotion in Joy Anna when they showed a clip from next week and she was struggling with tears.  

 

Anyone think there's any chance that JB might pressure Jill and Derick to share their big house with Bin and Jessa once they're married?  That would be an interesting angle to the show.  Or is it Gothard policy that each married couple should have their own home?

[NikSac]

There is also the ongoing possibility that one of the kids may not want to court/marry someone of the opposite sex. Not naming or even thinking of any names, I'm thinking about odds.

[cmr2014]

 

Anyone think there's any chance that JB might pressure Jill and Derick to share their big house with Bin and Jessa once they're married?  That would be an interesting angle to the show.  Or is it Gothard policy that each married couple should have their own home?

 

I think it's very possible. The house is obviously very large, and no mention has been made of where Benessa will be living. It would also allow JB and J'chelle to maintain more control. There would always be someone in the household to help them remain "accountable." So that if there were whispers between husband and wife about breaking free, or watching a little television, or listening to a little music, there would be someone on-hand who could rat them out to their parents.

 

I don't know if there are any Gothard rules about this, though.

[cereality]

GEML, thanks for the insight!

 

I agree that the family's comments about this being the "last time" they'll do such and such with Jill is ridiculous. She moved twenty minutes away, it's not like she's out of state or anything. 

 

I'm starting to find Jana and JD's reticence about courting a little odd. I understand that marriage isn't everyone's cup of tea, especially in a culture that places huge expectations on both parties, but it is a pretty universal trait for young people to want love and companionship (not to mention sex). There's a reason we have hormones, after all. Their detachment towards the whole idea is a little unusual for two 25 year-olds. 

I think Jana has a very real understanding of what courting and marriage entail and would probably like to avoid it for a bit. As soon as she tells JB and Michelle that God has laid it on her heart that she wants to court (I mean if the parents aren't already looking for suitors regardless of her wishes), she gets attached to the first yahoo that comes JB's way. Let's be honest, she is more likely to get a Ben than a Derick -- just given the area they're in and their brand of fundamentalism; and if asked to court, she pretty much has to say yes lest she be blackballed by her parents but also by the community. These fundies know each other and know of the Duggar family, and it'll take about 5 seconds all of them to find out and paint her as a snob who is unmarriable if she says no to some 20 yr old living in his parents home with no college degree or trade but with faith that God wants him to be fruitful and multiply and God will provide. And she knows what being a wife will be like -- she's raised dozens of kids and probably isn't jumping for joy at having to raise more. She seems like the type who may do well with 1-2, but it's hard to find a headship who will agree to that way of living.

 

JD -- I am betting he wants to court and no one is super interested in him. He isn't exactly a father's dream for his daughters. All of his jobs seem to be volunteer -- constable, firefighter etc, so how exactly will he provide? The real answer is via the TLC paycheck, but in their world I don't know if being on TV and having your daughter eventually birth JD's child on TV with an audience staring at her with her legs open is seen as plus despite the paycheck. And unlike Josh he isn't particularly savvy, so I don't think any future father in law who'd be looking at him for courting purposes would think he could work for a campaign or take Josh's path and work for a foundation aligned with their beliefs.

[GEML]

John David is the type of guy you see at church camp (which would have been our chance to check out all the "right" guys by our parents' standards until college - I did belong to groups that did not shun college, preferring a denominational college). They are half grown boys in men's bodies. Someone like Josh is mature, or Josiah. But you look at them as a young woman and you think, yeah, I can take that on. But John David? Joseph? I don't know. There is just something missing and the girls know it. ( wry tone ) in keeping with our biblical upbringing, we would have said God left the salt out of them and they have no flavor. It sounded terribly risqué at the time!

[alegtostandon]

I have never been a regular viewer of this show; I see episodes now and then.  Couple of questions:

 

When Anna and Duggar Husband (Sorry, do not remember his name, I do believe, though, it may start with the letter 'J') arrived on the Duggar Compound, he made a comment about this being the first Duggar wedding since his wedding.  Were he and Anna forced to go through all of this ridicules Jim Boob & J'Michelle marital counseling or is this 'Duggar Law' something only reserved for female Duggars?

Did it take 6 months, or however long it's been, to get thru their wedding?

 

What if DerrickDillard said to Jim Boob, 'listen, I don't need your advice.  I appreciate it but I would like to make our lives 'ours', not a replica of yours and J'Michelles.'?  Would the wedding be called off?

 

I, too, feel sorry for Jana.  She has worked her ass off for this wedding.  I hope the favor is repaid when it is her turn to hold hands with someone.

 

Speaking of holding hands, I did notice that there were plenty of frontal hugs going on last night, with everyone but family!

 

Where does J'Grandma Duggar live?

Edited October 16, 2014 by alegtostandon

[Darknight]

Funny Anna made comments about Jana being taken advantage of when she has Jana come to D.C. to help her with her children. Poor Jana goes from taking care of her younger siblings to help take care of her niece and nephews because Anna has a hard time dealing with her three young children. Either way, Jana loses.

Mackenzie may say she will get to know the guy she wants to marry, but the chances of this is slim since Josh will pick the guy for her. She also probably will be watch like a hawk when she gets to court.

So hire a nanny. It's not Jana's responsibility to raise her niece and nephews.

[Mrsjumbo]

Yes thanks Geml!

I agree - if anything I think she'd be lonely at home by herself, and would want at least some of the kids around just for company. She's used to living with so many people, I would think that living in a huge house with only one person who's gone at work most of the day would be a hard adjustment. And it's close enough, it seems like it'd be easy for the kids to come visit her.

Exactly. She's home for 8 hrs a day. There's no reason she can't visit her sisters or vice versa during that time, & Derick wouldn't be there.

[kalamac]

If J&D did end up having to share the house with J&B, how great would it be if instead of spying on each other and reporting back, they all semi-corrupted each other.

The parents drop by unannounced and find them all lazing on the sofa, drinking beer and playing Call of Duty.

[Darknight]

If J&D did end up having to share the house with J&B, how great would it be if instead of spying on each other and reporting back, they all semi-corrupted each other.

The parents drop by unannounced and find them all lazing on the sofa, drinking beer and playing Call of Duty.

Or listening to rock music while watching mtv

[Honey]

Imo, I do not see anything wrong with getting a not brand new mattress as long as it is clean and is in good shape. Now if it look like something from the city dump or has stains on it, I would not buy it.

In New York in order to sell a used mattress you need to comply with the state bedding law.  You must comply with very strict sanitary standards. According to the law the mattress must be sanitized using a method approved by the Department of Health. The cleaning method must kill bedbugs, dust mites and other insects as well as remove germs, mold, fungi, soil and other contaminants.

Read more : http://www.ehow.com/about_6701947_reselling-mattress-illegal_.html

[floridamom]

Why oh why would ANYONE have the intent to fix up a guest room as a "love nest" for their parents? That, folks, to me is just plain creepy and weird. That would be the LAST thing I would think about when preparing any guest room, anywhere, in anyone's home, let alone my home...We all know that Jim Bob and Michelle can't go more than 7 days without "sweet fellowship", which is MORE than we need to know in the U.S. about these two...which makes me think, wouldn't the stinky bus have been better for those two lovebirds/sexwhores and have the kids camp out in sleeping bags in a couple of those nice rooms downstairs?

[xls]

Well, if JillandDerrickDillard ever move out of the house and the 100 photos have to go, JimBob will send Bin over with a tub of spackle. No worry.

 

Perhaps the stuffed monkey toy from the second-hand place is for little Dill Pickle. It's never too early to learn to buy used and save the difference.

B-Slave!

[floridamom]

At the weddings I have attended, and they were different denominations, traditions, it is customary and respectful for the bride and groom to take a few minutes during the reception to visit each table and at least make eye contact with each guest and thank them for coming. These receptions lasted all evening usually until midnight. Having said that, with Jill and Derick's l,000 person mob scene, it was impossible for them to even know who actually attended let alone thank them for coming. These fundy receptions, I understand, last only 1-2 hours and it's OVER..no real food, no alcohol FOR SURE, no music to listen to in the background and NO dancing, what is there to do? How long does it take to eat a rice krispy treat on a paper plate and converse with someone. Thank heavens they at least cut the cake..oh, Jessa won't even be doing that...her reception? 45 minutes, folks, as she and Ben will be anxious to "meet and greet " each other..(righteously, of course).

[Catlyn]

Funny Anna made comments about Jana being taken advantage of when she has Jana come to D.C. to help her with her children. Poor Jana goes from taking care of her younger siblings to help take care of her niece and nephews because Anna has a hard time dealing with her three young children. Either way, Jana loses.

 

I wonder if Jana and Anna are using that as an excuse for Jana to come to DC. Jana gets to leave the TTH and have some time in DC. Anna has a friend and isn't alone. Three children aren't really that much between the two of them. Maybe Anna's sisters do visit, but some of them can't because of family.

[bigskygirl]

I thought Anna and Josh were making friends in DC. To be honest about it, I do think Josh and Anna are being more mature after moving away from the family. How much of it is for show and to prove they can do things on their own with the rest of the Duggars around.

[Fuzzysox]

Correct me if I'm wrong Geml but I equate Fundie weddings to Gypsy weddings. Both involve inviting lots and lots of people whether you know them or not. Both are used for some kind of fellowship/potential finding a mate. Both revolve around family.

[StaceyNotStacie]

I wonder if Jana and Anna are using that as an excuse for Jana to come to DC. Jana gets to leave the TTH and have some time in DC. Anna has a friend and isn't alone. Three children aren't really that much between the two of them. Maybe Anna's sisters do visit, but some of them can't because of family.

 

I noticed a difference in the interaction between Jana and Anna and Jana compared to the other girls.  There was a frontal hug between the two of them instead of the standard side hug and their conversation seemed more of a friendship conversation compared to what we see with the other girls.  I'm also guessing that Jana genuinely enjoys being around Anna and the kids.  There's a huge difference between taking care of younger siblings 24/7 and being around nieces and nephews that she only gets to see every few months (and Anna's kids probably listen and act a bit more respectful towards her than her younger brothers and sisters do).

 

I also enjoyed the interaction between Josh and JD.  It was nice to see them interacting without Jim Bob hovering around.  I'd love to see an episode where John David "chaperones" Jana on her trip to DC instead of one of the older girls (although they can bring Jordyn and/or Jennifer along to keep Mackynzie company).  I'm sure the four young adults would enjoy visiting without all of their younger siblings and parents.  I doubt that would happen since they probably keep JD as busy as they keep Jana.  

[Chai]

I assumed all that furniture was new and bought for them by TLC. That's exactly what the Gosselins did. They filmed a show making the viewer think they were buying their own stuff, but in reality it was in their contract that anything showed was on TLC's dime not hers. She even had them pay the taxes they owed for receiving the furniture for gifts! ( Robert Hoffmann book includes copies of the contracts the Gosselins signed . the book was something like how Kate Gosselin fooled the world)

[Chai]

I was also shaking my head that they were moving a small refrigerator still filled with stuff! How about clearing it out, cleaning it, then move it to the new house?

[jodo]

I was also shaking my head that they were moving a small refrigerator still filled with stuff! How about clearing it out, cleaning it, then move it to the new house?

I have to admit I thought how absolutely lazy to have not emptied the fridge.  There wasn't that much in it!  Even if they had put a strap around the door it would have helped except the contents would still topple over inside.  If that door had fallen open on someone it could have been very serious.  Obviously JB didn't have some movers over to move stuff for him so the family could learn that "trade!"

[ginger90]

Since it's a daughter getting married perhaps the view is different from a son. One of the "littles" said that once Jill got married she would not be in the family any more (not exact words).

[BitterApple]

Here's why I don't think Jessa will agree to move in with Jill and Derick after she marries: Jessa is smart and savvy. No way in hell is she going to pigeonhole herself into the role of de facto nanny for Baby Dill Pickle so Jill and Derick can have date nights. That's Cinderjana's job! Jill has shown she has no problem dumping work on people, Jessa won't fall for it.