S01.E10: The Big Decision

[sleekandchic]

She kept saying "Time to fall in love" or "Game plan - fall in love!" so often, it was like watching a

coded message from a hostage -- only thing missing was a newspaper held up to prove the date.

Jamie just kept being ridiculous and foolish. But I was surprised (I guess, foolishly so) that all four of those mopes said some variation of "now it's time to fall in love!" I thought Doug was already in love with Jaime and Cortney in love with Jason. I also thought Jason was almost there too.

So if nobody is in love what's the rationale for staying married? Jamie was blablablahing about babies; Doug seemed focused on the sex Jamie evidently promised him the night of the decision; Courtney is in love with love and holding on to a "best friend"; and Jason seems frightened and frozen in the headlights of his own mind.

I think tonight was the first time I heard Cortney admit that her family begged her not to do this show. I knew that no one in her family attended the wedding but I didn't realize they had had a falling out. So maybe Cortney had an additional incentive to stay in the marriage?

I also have to say that the four show experts were just embarrassing. Cliches, twisting almost everything said or done by the newlyweds to fit the experts' agendas; and proclaiming Monet and Vaughn a really great match who just couldn't realize it , showed me how myopic and tone deaf Drs Pepper and Joseph plus two really were.

Edited September 10, 2014 by sleekandchic

[truthaboutluv]

I think tonight was the first time I heard Cortney admit that her family begged her not to do this show. I knew that no one in her family attended the wedding but I didn't realize they had had a falling out. So maybe Cortney had an additional incentive to stay in the marriage?

 

 

Actually I'm pretty sure she said as much in the wedding episode. I swear I even remember her saying that her dad hung up on her or something. No, she was pretty upfront about her family not being in support of her doing it at all. 

[queenanne]

Jamie just kept being ridiculous and foolish. But I was surprised (I guess, foolishly so) that all four of those mopes said some variation of "now it's time to fall in love!" I thought Doug was already in love with Jaime and Cortney in love with Jason. I also thought Jason was almost there too.

So if nobody is in love what's the rationale for staying married? Jamie was blablablahing about babies; Doug seemed focused on the sex Jamie evidently promised him the night of the decision; Courtney is in love with love and holding on to a "best friend"; and Jason seems frightened and frozen in the headlights of his own mind.

I think tonight was the first time I heard Cortney admit that her family begged her not to do this show. I knew that no one in her family attended the wedding but I didn't realize they had had a falling out. So maybe Cortney had an additional incentive to stay in the marriage?

 

Unsure if we have any statistics on what happens but part of me would not be surprised to learn, that the reason why arranged marriages are so largely "successful" is the Cortney situation in reverse; the same family who brokered/encouraged the marriage, won't hear of its ending, and peer pressure the arrangees to stay married.

 

As for the "falling in love", I was a little uneasy last week already when everybody started referring to their trial-balloon marriages as "the experiment".  This cast an unappealing cold-water effect over the entire operation.  I think one of the hamsters was scrupulous about doing so throughout, but all of a sudden they were doing it in chorus.

[TwirlyGirly]

I wasn't at all surprised by Vaughn and Monet's decision to divorce. From the beginning I saw there was a big disconnect in Monet saying she wanted a traditional man and a marriage with traditional gender roles, versus what that actually means to the average person.

 

Disclaimer: Personally, I would never engage in a relationship with someone who wants/expects me to be a "traditional" mate.

 

The issue is that Monet didn't really think through what contributions to the relationship she would be expected to make as a "traditional" wife. I think she only saw as far as "he'll take care of me, and I won't have to worry about making any big decisions - but otherwise, my life will go on as it always has."

 

No.

 

A "traditional" man, who expects traditional gender roles in marriage, expects his wife to cook. And not just once in a blue moon - he wants a meal put before him at least once a day (preferably, two or three times, depending upon whether he has a home business and thus takes lunch at home, or works at a location outside of the home. But even with that, he may expect his wife to prepare a bag lunch for him to take with him to work).

 

He is also going to expect his wife to bear the burden for most of the upkeep of their home AND he'll  want a certain amount of "coddling" from her.

 

Monet was not prepared for that in the least. She didn't have any of the skills a "traditional" man involved in a marriage with traditional gender roles with a "traditional" wife would normally expect. I think Vaughn was totally taken off guard by this, and that is what was at the root of all of their issues.

 

Do I think Vaughn is a bit of a jerk? Yes - but that's only because I would never want a "traditional" man or to be involved in a relationship defined by traditional gender roles (although I do have the skills a traditional man would look for).

 

There are women out there who truly do want a traditional man and who want and expect their marriages to be defined by traditional gender roles. The problem with Vaughn and Monet is that Monet is not one of those women, so I suspect a lot of the ways in which Vaughn reacted to Monet was caused by him being just confused. Monet claimed she was a traditional woman who wanted a relationship based on traditional gender roles, but she wasn't and she didn't.

 

Monet summed it up herself thusly:

 

"I really feel like all the things I might have asked for before... I don't think I understood what I was asking for before,  and I think now I have a better understanding maybe of what I really want, or maybe what I really need."

 

I do blame the "team" that selected her for not digging a little deeper into Monet and forcing her to define what "traditional" men and "traditional" women meant to her, and also what her expections were of what both her role and the role of her husband would be in a marriage based on "traditional gender roles."

 

They really dropped the ball with Vaughn and Monet.

[bourbon]

The worst thing was when Dr. Pepper told us that things were going well for Doug and Jamie until Doug lied and "messed it up."  "Messed it up."  Is that an obscure term from Freudian theory?  Because I must've missed that in my college psychology classes. ::eye roll::  So...still no accountability for Jamie, who equates lying with physical abuse and abandonment?  Yes, I get that she has issues, but fix them on your own time.  Don't drag some poor dumb lug into it.

 

I wanted to believe in them, but I think they're doomed, ultimately.  I thought it was telling that Doug used the word "infatuated" about his feelings for Jamie.  Not "I'm falling in love" or "I have feelings." Infatuation, to me, is intense but temporary.  It's superficial.  I don't think it's that Doug sees Jamie's flaws and accepts them, I think he doesn't really see them.  He's convinced himself that the issues are normal or are even his fault.  The fact that she doesn't want to have sex isn't so much because she finds him unattractive but that it's OK not to rush into the physical.  The cigarette thing wasn't about her OTT reaction, it was about his betrayal of her trust.  I don't think they'll last until Christmas.  I think it'll be her leaving him, but I'd like to think maybe the scales will fall from his eyes, and he'll realize he deserves better.  

[queenanne]

The part that frustrates me is that "not dropping the ball w/r/t what Monet thinks of as 'a traditional marriage' ", is easy. I don't know how you'd get out of the screening process simply mouthing "Tradition.... tradition!", unless the screeners were real morons who made no due diligence; or the goal was simply to get trainwrecky TV.  We don't even know for certain if Vaughn would have been happy with, or if Monet tried, a nice piece of simply cooked meat, with some Dr. Praeger's pucks tossed in the toaster oven/box of lentils/whatever.  It's just our assumption that they always had takeout, because it's what we've seen. 

 

I never heard/saw of any concept in my life, that "traditional marriage" meant "I, as wife, can sit around on the couch eating bonbons/going out with the girls, because my husband will provide; but don't actually have to do anything on my wifely end".  (Though we did see Monet clean once, so there's that.)  Even most early feminists wouldn't have dreamed of saying that SAHM/W wasn't "work".  Termed it "boring drudgery", sure; but it not being a fair exchange/buttload of work for the woman, that I don't recall.  Monet thinking "a traditional marriage doesn't involve me providing food, tra la lal!", kinda makes me wonder how she was raised, to be frank; "while not opening her eyes to how family units worked", is a strong suspicion.

Edited September 10, 2014 by queenanne

[trimthatfat]

So glad Vaughn and Monet divorced! I think the whole process was a moment of clarity for Monet - she said she realized what she was asking for was not what she wanted and that she is, in fact, very independent. I also agree with her that Vaughn needs some time before he is ready to be anyone's husband. I don't think Vaughn took anything from this experience. He claims they had no chemistry, but they had an active sex life. So they had some chemistry, just not romantic.

 

I would not be interested in another season and I feel like this show could have had its finale 3 weeks ago. It felt like everything was reiterated several times - Vaughn and Monet having an active sex life, Jamie's troubled past, Jason's sad background, etc. As the season progressed, I found myself bored. It's as if the editors didn't have enough material to fill the show. I also think the 'experts' suck.

Edited September 10, 2014 by trimthatfat

[Armchair Critic]

I don't know how you'd get out of the screening process simply mouthing "Tradition.... tradition!"

 

Now you have me humming music from Fiddler On The Roof.

[lovetowrite73]

I have to admit, I yelled, "Fuck you, Monet" at the TV last night when she spoke about why she and Vaughn didn't make it. If you pay attention, she put ALL the blame on him. No, I'm sorry, but, asshole or not, the responsibility didn't lie ONLY on Vaughn's shoulders. Her saying "he's not ready to be anybody's husband yet" was so condescending, I wanted to scream! She honestly needs to focus on HERSELF and don't worry about what issues Vaughn has. smh I was so mad at that broad last night.

 

I pray that Jaime seeks individual counseling as well as couples counseling with Doug. They're going to need it if they plan on lasting.

 

I was absolutely cooing at the TV when Jason and Cortney made their decisions. They are absolutely adorable and I pray they make it in the long run!

 

I hope they have better "experts" next year because this lot was pitiful.

[Bellalisa]

I agree that Monet is part of the blame. She is a cold, unloving person. She is selfish. She never wanted to do anything nice for him. I can see his point. He is a little nuts but she is a cold, selfish, independent woman who is NOT ready for marriage now or in the future. She likes the single lifestyle.

[Jellybeans]

I was happy with the outcome, unhappy with the endless recaps. We are not without memories.

I believe Jamie is genuine in her feelings for Doug. She is already planning for babies, and soon! I understand her childhood pain. It can follow you for life without the support and Doug really gets her.

Jason and Courtney, I am not too sure of the long term viability of their marriage. I see no real depth to their conversations. I do hope they make it.

Can't wait for next week and hope they do NO recapping!

[PityFree]

I was happy with the outcome, unhappy with the endless recaps. We are not without memories.

I think FYI believes their key demographic is "goldfish." 

 

I thought it was unusually cruel of Jamie to tell the ever hopeful Doug that up until she said it, she was still deliberating. But until she loses her looks, she will always be cruel to Doug or other men she does not see as her equal. 

[qtpye]

I agree that Monet is part of the blame. She is a cold, unloving person. She is selfish. She never wanted to do anything nice for him. I can see his point. He is a little nuts but she is a cold, selfish, independent woman who is NOT ready for marriage now or in the future. She likes the single lifestyle.

 

I think most of the people on this board were much more spot on about the Monet/Vaughn pairing then the supposed "experts" ever were.  I do think that unfortunately most of the posters were correct in that even though Vaughn was sexually attracted to Monet, he was, unfortunately, not blown away by her like the other grooms were with their wives.  I think after the wedding night, he was ready to run.  Monet, for her part, was clueless about the true role of a traditional wife (as TwirlyGirly so astutely pointed out) and did not realize, how much work goes into a traditional wife role.  They are both stubborn and lash out at each other when they are hurt, because their needs are not being met.

[TeapotWakeen]

Lovetowrite73,

 

If you pay attention, she put ALL the blame on him. No, I'm sorry, but, asshole or not, the responsibility didn't lie ONLY on Vaughn's shoulders. Her saying "he's not ready to be anybody's husband yet" was so condescending, I wanted to scream!

I did scream. I gave her a "bitch, please!!" followed by "talk about your own damn self!!"  And, I actually liked Monet. She bothered me less than Jamie-the-unforgiving or Jason-going-to-fire-academy. But if you're going to give reasons why you are not staying married, at least talk about your own damn self.

[sleekandchic]

I really do believe that Vaughn checked out very early on their honeymoon trip, and that was long before he realized that Monet was not interested in cooking his meals regularly.

Monet still maintained her f/t job; even Vaughn mentioned that as a positive thing to his friend last night. It's not as though she sat home doing nothing, while Vaughn went to work. In essence, he was expecting that she take on a second f/t job to keep him happy. But what was he offering in return? I remember they had some kind of brief discussion about bill-paying early on, and he said he'd be willing to pay all bills. But eventually they compromised to a 50-50 split. Still, since they were together for a brief 5 weeks, not many bills could have accumulated. IOW, Vance really couldn't have reached a fever-pitch of, oh man I'm paying half her bills, and she doesn't even cook for me!

In the reunion preview, Vaughn accuses Monet of not being a warm, nurturing person. IMO, she did appear to grow prickly and defensive, but only after Vaughn turned into Mr Hyde. And I found HIM to be cold and aloof, certainly not warm and supportive of his wife. He even returned to his own apt in NJ after ONE week of living together.( I'm guessing he only finally came back because they were contractually obligated to live together.) Their problems had to be deeper than domestic chores.

V and M were attracted to each other and happy on their wedding day. Slept together their first night; then it all went downhill. Monet still seemed happy and hopeful on the honeymoon, but, to me, Vaughn was already unhappy and maybe even mad. For all their talk of sexual chemistry, maybe he really didn't feel it. I also believe he was disappointed in Monets body type in a swimsuit (based on what he said/how he said it during the Honeymoon episode).

No surprise to me that they broke up after 5-weeks, but I think each of them was less than honest with the audience, the experts and themselves for the true reasons for their breakup.

[PityFree]

I do not blame Monet or Vaughn for their failed marriage; I blame the "experts", their fancy "CIA tests", and their desire to have a set of diverse couples - damn the consequences.

[Higgins]

She kept saying "Time to fall in love" or "Game plan - fall in love!" so often,  it was like watching a

coded message from a hostage  -- only thing missing was a newspaper held up to prove the date.

 

 

 

That fork of food Jamie horfed into her mouth was about the size of the baby she will never have with Doug.

I was thinking, skinny bitch can eat a huge plate of pasta and garlic bread? I gained 10 lbs. just watching her.

 

I was happy with the outcome, unhappy with the endless recaps. We are not without memories.

I believe Jamie is genuine in her feelings for Doug. She is already planning for babies, and soon! I understand her childhood pain. It can follow you for life without the support and Doug really gets her.

Jason and Courtney, I am not too sure of the long term viability of their marriage. I see no real depth to their conversations. I do hope they make it.

Can't wait for next week and hope they do NO recapping!

Jason was full of shit and boring as hell. He seems too young and immature for a relationship.

 

I think most of the people on this board were much more spot on about the Monet/Vaughn pairing then the supposed "experts" ever were.  I do think that unfortunately most of the posters were correct in that even though Vaughn was sexually attracted to Monet, he was, unfortunately, not blown away by her like the other grooms were with their wives.  I think after the wedding night, he was ready to run.  Monet, for her part, was clueless about the true role of a traditional wife (as TwirlyGirly so astutely pointed out) and did not realize, how much work goes into a traditional wife role.  They are both stubborn and lash out at each other when they are hurt, because their needs are not being met.

I didn't like either of them but I think Vaughn wanted a more feminine woman. As for the sexual chemistry. I think he would have fucked anyone they had paired him with. I don't think he was attracted to her at all.

[ridethemaverick]

I really do believe that Vaughn checked out very early on their honeymoon trip, and that was long before he realized that Monet was not interested in cooking his meals regularly.

Monet still maintained her f/t job; even Vaughn mentioned that as a positive thing to his friend last night. It's not as though she sat home doing nothing, while Vaughn went to work. In essence, he was expecting that she take on a second f/t job to keep him happy. But what was he offering in return? I remember they had some kind of brief discussion about bill-paying early on, and he said he'd be willing to pay all bills. But eventually they compromised to a 50-50 split. Still, since they were together for a brief 5 weeks, not many bills could have accumulated. IOW, Vance really couldn't have reached a fever-pitch of, oh man I'm paying half her bills, and she doesn't even cook for me!

In the reunion preview, Vaughn accuses Monet of not being a warm, nurturing person. IMO, she did appear to grow prickly and defensive, but only after Vaughn turned into Mr Hyde. And I found HIM to be cold and aloof, certainly not warm and supportive of his wife. He even returned to his own apt in NJ after ONE week of living together.( I'm guessing he only finally came back because they were contractually obligated to live together.) Their problems had to be deeper than domestic chores.

V and M were attracted to each other and happy on their wedding day. Slept together their first night; then it all went downhill. Monet still seemed happy and hopeful on the honeymoon, but, to me, Vaughn was already unhappy and maybe even mad. For all their talk of sexual chemistry, maybe he really didn't feel it. I also believe he was disappointed in Monets body type in a swimsuit (based on what he said/how he said it during the Honeymoon episode).

No surprise to me that they broke up after 5-weeks, but I think each of them was less than honest with the audience, the experts and themselves for the true reasons for their breakup.

This.

I honestly don't see what Vaughn had to offer. It was almost like he saw himself as a catch because he's ok looking and has a job. But he wasn't warm, loving, or tender with Monet like the other guys were with their partners, even from day one. Vaughn seemed to enter the marriage as if he held all the cards and was waiting for Monet to prove she was worthy.

And as you said, how traditional is he if he was happy with a 50/50 split? Seems to me he doesn't really understand that kind of marriage either. She works full time, and then comes home to cook and clean, you're only paying half the bills and you aren't even affectionate? Why are you even here?

Monet has her issues, and I really do think she misjudged her own need for independence and modernity in a relationship, but Vaughn is...a robot. A petty robot who wants to be serviced regularly in order to produce output. His next wife shouldn't expect to get anything above and beyond what she puts out for him. Tit for tat for the rest of her life.

Edited September 10, 2014 by ridethemaverick

[trimthatfat]

This.

I honestly don't see what Vaughn had to offer. It was almost like he saw himself as a catch because he's ok looking and has a job. But he wasn't warm, loving, or tender with Monet like the other guys were with their partners, even from day one. Vaughn seemed to enter the marriage as if he held all the cards and was waiting for Monet to prove she was worthy.

And as you said, how traditional is he if he was happy with a 50/50 split? Seems to me he doesn't really understand that kind of marriage either. She works full time, and then comes home to cook and clean, you're only paying half the bills and you aren't even affectionate? Why are you even here?

Monet has her issues, and I really do think she misjudged her own need for independence and modernity in a relationship, but Vaughn is...a robot. A petty robot who wants to be serviced regularly in order to produce output. His next wife shouldn't expect to get anything above and beyond what she puts out for him. Tit for tat for the rest of her life.

 

You and sleekandchic are on the money. ITA with your points. I really don't think Vaughn took anything from the experience at all. Monet, to her credit, did say she realized she didn't know what she was asking for and will adjust her approach to relationships differently accordingly. She didn't know what she wanted/needed and now she does. I'm not saying Monet is perfect, but I do think she took more out of the experience than Vaughn did. I just don't care for him. I still think it's fucked up he didn't communicate to Monet when he was coming home from his trip, but had the audacity to get mad at her for planning a night with her friends that she thought she was going to otherwise spend alone. Monet was never going to win with Vaughn. I hope Vaughn finds the Stepford Wife he is looking for...someone who will have no issue saying 'whatever you like' when he asks 'what's your favorite movie?'. And will hop on one foot when asked as well.

 

Heh...I watched Coming to America for the 200th time last night and I'm still cracking up.

[Primetimer]

The season comes down to this: who, if any, liked each other enough to stay fake-married?

Read the story

[Ohwell]

Vaughn wanted a woman with a nice butt, (among other things) and Monet has a nice butt.  He simply didn't want the rest of her, physically or otherwise.  He got over that on the first night.  Monet has been face-saving all during the series, talking about him not being a man, not being ready, yada yada yada.  Monet can flap her gums to her girlfriends at brunch all she wants about Vaughn's shortcomings and why she didn't want him, but she knew from the get go that he didn't want her.

 

I'm happy that Cortney and Jason decided to stay married, but Jason was starting to get on my nerves before he made his decision; he tends to roll his eyes a lot.  I wanted to slap him upside the head.

 

Didn't give a rat's ass about Jamie and Doug.  His slobbering over her has been making me sick since the beginning.  If she does dump him later, I won't feel the least bit sorry for him.

[lambsy]

Like most, I watched this show intently at first--but the last 5 episodes I just watched so I could read the hilarious recaps and comments on this site. These threads became so much better than the actual show. It almost makes me wish the series was longer (just kidding, they barely had enough content for 5 episodes, much less 10.)<br /><br />I never thought the show spat in the face of the face of marriage (I'm not that religious), but this episode did rub me the wrong way a bit. They kept hammering away at the "this is serious, this isn't a breakup it's a DIVORCE!!" I get that it's a show and they need to make it dramatic but after a while I actually started to find it offensive. I'm sorry, my break ups of relationships that lasted several years have been a lot more serious than Vaughn and Monet (who antagonized eachother from the jump and had to "start over" every damn week.) Not to mention couples who can't get married legally yet. I don't know, I guess I'm a weirdo who thinks it's fine to get married to a stranger but that it's bad to act like it's THAT big of a deal when it doesn't work out compared with long term unmarried couples.<br /><br />Overall, things mostly turned out as I expected. I do think that Jamie will either try to translate this into a couples reality show or at least a "Why I Left" US Weekly cover story. Can't you just picture her alone on the cover with her arms crossed trying to look strong and dignified?

[Jellybeans]

Courtney did meet Jason's mother- the night before she died. And yes, Jamie and Doug are still together. Instagram and Twitter show them all over each other on a daily basis and planning for babies.

[Trixie Belden]

Ugh, I finally slogged through that sloooooooooow 96 hour (felt like) finale.  It ended up pretty much like I thought it would, the couples that didn't hate each other decided not to dump each other on camera.

 

As far as Vaughn talking about the lack of chemistry, he's right but he's also a dog.  He didn't like Monet at all and if she was willing to have sex with him, he wasn't going to pass it up-but I don't think he ever liked her or was remotely attracted to her.  Men don't need that in order to get laid.  I think Monet was a little more emotional about the whole thing, she was lying on the couch while he was packing his stuff and looking sad (didn't she have anybody to have brunch with at that moment?), but I busted out laughing when she started being all "can I help you pack?  You got my keys?  BYE!"  I think she she says things like "he isn't ready to be married" it's because she can't really straight out say "he's a giant baby-man".  I do think she has a wide bitchy streak in her and won't do well in any relationship until she gets that fixed.

 

I never realized how dumb Jason seems to be until this episode.  Charming, but not terribly swift.  He seems like he knows he's not all that smart so he over compensates by saying the same thing over and over and over.  How many different ways can you say the word "choice"?  And Cortney did herself no favors by blatantly begging him to say yes.  Although, I have to say I like them both and I like them together.  

 

Aaaaaand Jamie and Doug.  I love them.  I think they're perfect for each other, in that each complements the other.  Where he can be a slacker and kinda lazy, she tightens him up and demands he perform.  When she gets all weird and special snowflakey, he just smiles and lets her be crazy until she exhausts herself.  It seems like they are each other's parents, which they need because nobody taught either of them table manners.  Also, why did Doug's parents sign the card "The Hehners"?  That was weird.

[bourbon]

They didn't sign it "The Hehners," they signed it "The Hehner's." 

 

Sorry, that's my grammatical pet peeve. I clearly need more of a life.

[ethalfrida]

Geesh they dragged that out. YAY for J & C!

Glad I had ti on DVR so I could skip all the pregnant "wait for its"... Gosh could it have gotten any more scripted?

And congrats to all who called it on Monet and Vaughn being "added flavor" to the show by satisfying the diversity AND drama needs.

I am still team Vaughn because I really did not see or hear anything from him that made him such a bad guy. He seemed very pleasant to me. And Monet is still the cutie. I am thinking what she said last night was merely her exit speech.

[Stinamaia]

Monet is too good for Vaughn. She is warm, outspoken, and funny while he is dull and self centered. Vaughn concentrated on the negative from the beginning. He said hurtful things to Monet, and she had trouble remaining calm when hearing hurtful things. Most people do. The normal person doesn't say, "Huh. Let's talk about that." She like many people became defensive. I think that was the real relationship problem they needed to work on.

I would have no problem having a conversation with Monet, but I have no ideal what to discuss with Vaughn. His affect is so flat, and he doesn't really seem interested in conversing but rather having a civil facade. Monet wanted to be real and engage, but Vaughn never did. Sometimes he said the words, but I never saw the emotion. The only time he had emotion was when he was giving criticism or complaining (whining). Vaughn is a list keeper. He keeps a list in his head of all the "good" he does and then keeps an eye out to see if he is getting what he considers his fair share back. Not even friendships work this way, and certainly marriages don't.

And most of all, no relationship can work when one person thinks he is better than the other.

And yes, I loved it when Monet said, "You got my keys?"

[Armchair Critic]

do think that Jamie will either try to translate this into a couples reality show or at least a "Why I Left" US Weekly cover story.

 

I wonder if she was jealous when she was watching 'Bachelor In Paradise' that she was tied down to Doug?

[lovetowrite73]

I don't think Vaughn felt he was better than Monet. They weren't compatible. Like others have said, he checked out during the honeymoon. And when a person checks out, there's really not much you can do to bring them back in if they're not hearing what you say. So, what we saw on the show was the actions of a man who clearly did not want to be around but was contractually obligated to stick around. We're judging him on that when in all actuality, he might be a pretty decent guy. I personally give him a pass on how he acted but definitely not the hurtful things he said to Monet. Just because you've checked out doesn't give you a pass to be a jackass.

[MsPH]

I for one am really happy for both Jamie & Doug and Cortney & Jason. I think Jamie and Doug are perfect for each other. Even Doug's family agreed that he needs someone to keep him in check and she clearly needs someone who makes her feel comfortable and lets her drama slide. I actually think the whole conflict with THE LIE happened at just the right time, because she was forced to deal with the issue, since the experiment was still going on. I can totally see her dating life consisting of her running at the first sign of trouble, or the guy running, because she freaks out and he doesn't want drama. If the conflict had happened soon after the experiment ended, I think she would've been even more upset and probably left him. Now she was stuck with him for another week or two and had to get over it. I think it helped her realise that conflict happens and it's not the end of the world. That you can get over it and be happy again. I would also think that viewers telling her week after week how awesome Doug is and how lucky she is to have him, has made her even more sure about her decision.

 

I also think Cortney is just what Jason needs, because she's so good at communication and he really isn't, at all. I think she'll bring him out of his shell. I hope part of his nervousness was due to the cameras and he's more relaxed now that they can live their lives in private. It's sad to hear that his mom passed away, but how great is it that he now has a new family and someone to lean on? She can finally give and focus on someone other than herself and he isn't alone during the worst time of his life. I think it's really sweet. I can't snark on them even if I wanted to.

 

Monet and Vaughn never had a chance. It was ridiculous how hard the show tried to make us think they're getting along now, when it was obvious both were just acting for the cameras. I didn't buy anything Vaughn was saying to his friend. I just don't like either of them. He seems immature and rude and she seems selfish and way too set in her single girl ways. If he isn't ready to be a husband then she certainly is no more ready to be a wife or a mother. I hope it's just a case of them bringing out the worst in each other, for their sake.

 

The experts were annoying me too. Dr. Pepper has seemed so pessimistic about Jamie and Doug throughout and even when they came in to tell them their decision, she looked like she was in a funeral. Then when Jamie said she wants to stay married she looked like she can't even wrap her mind around it, like "omg, she really likes him, omg". On the other hand, she was smiling from ear to ear when Vaughn and Monet came in and it just seemed bizarre. I hope it's because she knew they royally effed up putting those two together and she wasn't axctually expecting them to stay married. Even a blind toddler could see those two had no chance and she's supposed to be an expert!

[SnarkKitty]

did anyone see the scene where doug was drying dishes? he took the dish towel and wiped his face with it, and continued drying dishes. i jumped when i saw that - gahhhhhh!

 

 

Ha! Yes, and I believe Doug also wiped his mouth as he wiped his face!

And speaking of disgusting displays, when Jamie and Doug eat a meal together, they make me lose my appetite. Ever watch them in action? They're actually a good match at the dinner table.

 

 

 

Oh god, YES. From the very first. I have a dog, but it's not in my plate, lap and everywhere else when we're eating. First the meal with the parents and then their "romantic" meal together. But then, they eat like animals so I guess having a dog in your bowl is just par for the course. Ugh, cannot eat and watch them.

 

That wiping his face and mouth and then grinding the cloth into the bowl for an hour, it was like he was trying to put his sweat into the damned thing. She was oblivious but geeze, if nothing else they're a match because they're both so disgusting. That place is tiny and you could see multiple used glasses on the dresser, him dirtying dishes with his face cloth, the dog all up in the food and worst of all, it shits in the house. Doug's most romantic gesture? Cleaning up her dog's crap. And they seem happy as pigs in slop with it all. Jaime, you didn't run as far away from that gross trailer park as you think you did.

[StayingAfterSunday]

I thought it was unusually cruel of Jamie to tell the ever hopeful Doug that up until she said it, she was still deliberating. But until she loses her looks, she will always be cruel to Doug or other men she does not see as her equal. 

 

I took the liberty of highlighting the word, "cruel," in your comment because that's specifically how I view Jamie when she allows that latent anger to manifest in the form of heartless comments and blatant namecalling. 

 

By the  the way, has anyone else noticed Jamie's tendency to sometimes bare her front teeth when she talks?  According  to some communication "experts," this type of smile might be masking hostility or aggression.  http://www.academia.edu/6314907/Non-verbal_Communication

 

 

I wasn't at all surprised by Vaughn and Monet's decision to divorce. From the beginning I saw there was a big disconnect in Monet saying she wanted a traditional man and a marriage with traditional gender roles, versus what that actually means to the average person.

 

Disclaimer: Personally, I would never engage in a relationship with someone who wants/expects me to be a "traditional" mate.

 

The issue is that Monet didn't really think through what contributions to the relationship she would be expected to make as a "traditional" wife. I think she only saw as far as "he'll take care of me, and I won't have to worry about making any big decisions - but otherwise, my life will go on as it always has."

 

No.

 

A "traditional" man, who expects traditional gender roles in marriage, expects his wife to cook. And not just once in a blue moon - he wants a meal put before him at least once a day (preferably, two or three times, depending upon whether he has a home business and thus takes lunch at home, or works at a location outside of the home. But even with that, he may expect his wife to prepare a bag lunch for him to take with him to work).

 

He is also going to expect his wife to bear the burden for most of the upkeep of their home AND he'll  want a certain amount of "coddling" from her.

 

Monet was not prepared for that in the least. She didn't have any of the skills a "traditional" man involved in a marriage with traditional gender roles with a "traditional" wife would normally expect. I think Vaughn was totally taken off guard by this, and that is what was at the root of all of their issues.

 

Do I think Vaughn is a bit of a jerk? Yes - but that's only because I would never want a "traditional" man or to be involved in a relationship defined by traditional gender roles (although I do have the skills a traditional man would look for).

 

There are women out there who truly do want a traditional man and who want and expect their marriages to be defined by traditional gender roles. The problem with Vaughn and Monet is that Monet is not one of those women, so I suspect a lot of the ways in which Vaughn reacted to Monet was caused by him being just confused. Monet claimed she was a traditional woman who wanted a relationship based on traditional gender roles, but she wasn't and she didn't.

 

Monet summed it up herself thusly:

 

"I really feel like all the things I might have asked for before... I don't think I understood what I was asking for before,  and I think now I have a better understanding maybe of what I really want, or maybe what I really need."

 

I do blame the "team" that selected her for not digging a little deeper into Monet and forcing her to define what "traditional" men and "traditional" women meant to her, and also what her expections were of what both her role and the role of her husband would be in a marriage based on "traditional gender roles."

 

They really dropped the ball with Vaughn and Monet.

 

Yes to all of this.  I do think that Vaughn was as straightforward as possible when describing what he desired in a mate.  Clearly, Vaughn is not one to conceal his feelings or preferences. 

 

As I've said before, Monet's problem seems to stem from her lack of understanding of self.  I'm not sure she even likes herself; how can she?  She doesn't know who she is.   Monet appears to be lacking individuality, it seems, so she borrows bits and pieces of personality and behaviors from others whom she admires/respects.  Thus, she emulates other people, making herself a composite rather than an authentic person in her own right. 

Edited September 10, 2014 by StayingAfterSunday

[crgirl412]

 

She kept saying "Time to fall in love" or "Game plan - fall in love!" so often,  it was like watching a

coded message from a hostage  -- only thing missing was a newspaper held up to prove the date.

Totally LOL at this one!!!!!  SO TRUE! 

[zxy556575]

At least I know next time that all I have to do is watch the finale because they will replay the entire shitting season.

 

I just realized I think of the couples like this:

 

Jamie and Doug
Monet and Vaughn
Jason and Cortney

 

Jason is the only guy who gets named first and it's not because I think he has the stronger personality in the relationship. Jamie always had the power. Monet is much more forceful and wanted to wear the pants, but Vaughn kept trying to rip them off. Metaphorically speaking. We all heard about how much he disrobed her physically. I was as tired of hearing about their bed romps as others were about the fire academy.

 

As for the "falling in love", I was a little uneasy last week already when everybody started referring to their trial-balloon marriages as "the experiment".  This cast an unappealing cold-water effect over the entire operation.  I think one of the hamsters was scrupulous about doing so throughout, but all of a sudden they were doing it in chorus.

 

I know! What was that? I suppose they were coached not to say something was because of or for the sake of "the TV show." But it was.

Edited September 11, 2014 by lordonia

[ketose]

I expect that a lot of the dialogue is helped by the writers of the show. Everyone on these shows says stuff like " I think I could fall in love with you" because they're not really in love with people.

 

It seems like the contract period has expired because the couples are spilling the beans in post show interviews. Ironically, the GMA interview was postponed because of extended wife beater coverage about Ray Rice this morning. Some other sources have already revealed that Jamie and Doug consummated their marriage after the show was over. That makes sense, because that way Jamie didn't have to do one of those creepy post-coital confessionals the next morning.

[ElleBee]

I thought it was unusually cruel of Jamie to tell the ever hopeful Doug that up until she said it, she was still deliberating. 

 

Jason wasn't far behind with his "I decided last night". If I were Doug or Cortney I'd be offended that despite all the time, energy and effort, the decision wasn't clear to my spouse until the last minute. It just smells of patronization (like, well...hmmm....okay, I guess so.....), and interestingly came from both of the people whose partners wore their hearts on their sleeves about wanting to stay married. I think for many people there's an appeal to the thrill of the chase and, without having to work hard to earn their partners' affection, I think both Jamie and Jason ended up on a kind of power trip.

 

Having said all that, I think the "BIG DECISION" was totally bogus. So they were deciding to stay married at that point, but how is that day any different than the next day or the day after that? As they've said all along, they're married and have to go through a full divorce to end it, so it wasn't like making a decision on that day made the process any different. It was all manufactured and totally arbitrary (aside from Monet and Vaughn, who clearly were counting down the hours until they could be done with each other).

[truthaboutluv]

I think for many people there's an appeal to the thrill of the chase and, without having to work hard to earn their partners' affection, I think both Jamie and Jason ended up on a kind of power trip.

 

 

I really didn't get that impression from Jason. I really think it came down to his being incredibly guarded and scared. He admitted he's been cheated on before and I agreed with a previous poster who said that Jason likely had a case of "is this too good to be true." Like he probably went into the whole thing thinking it would be something interesting and maybe he would meet someone kind of cool but he ended up meeting someone, who in the real world he would have completely dated, been attracted to and fallen for and she in turn turned out to be sweet, kind, caring and all around amazing.

 

I think for someone naturally guarded and who has experienced loss and hurt in his life, I can see why there was a bit of "waiting for the other shoe to fall..." While Jason and Cortney did seem kind of boring at times compared to Doug and Jamie and their whole journey from "don't touch me to I sort of like you" and Vaughn and Monet's dysfunction, I think what you got out of their story was that sometimes you have to be willing to take big risks to receive huge gains.

[crazychicken]

I decided to suck it up and watch the finale online after quitting the show earlier, I made it to through first 1 minute 14 seconds before turning it off with Dr Peppers declaration that they will now stay together permanently. Then to be followed by a divorce after 5 weeks of marriage is worse than a relationship break up. Get stuffed you can not tell me a 5 week marriage to a stranger that you did not chose for yourself is more important or more painful than a relationship. If the legal implications of divorce are so freakin bad then why the heck did they not consider the legal implications of marrying a stranger.

 

So I am now content with just reading other peoples opinions and snark.

Edited September 11, 2014 by crazychicken

[zxy556575]

Like [Jason] probably went into the whole thing thinking it would be something interesting and maybe he would meet someone kind of cool...

 

Exactly. Seems like he originally went into it solely to get some media attention for his wrestling career and maybe a few weeks of a fun fuck buddy. Well, surprise, Jason! He never had any intention of being vulnerable or making the unknown bride a part of his and his mother's life, but Cortney ended up being a pretty swell person.

[ketose]

Ratings for MAFS last night were good. It was an all time high for FYI (or the Biography Channel) at 900,000 viewers and about 500,000 in the key demo. If I'm not mistaken, those are the kind of numbers the CW does on some nights.

 

http://www.broadwayworld.com/bwwtv/article/FYIs-MARRIED-AT-FIRST-SIGHT-Season-Finale-is-Most-Watched-Telecast-in-Network-History-20140910

 

Apparently, the reunion will also be 2 hours (expect more clips) and there's an "unveiled" special coming up with more unseen footage. I would not be surprised if there is a Jamie and Doug show in the future.

[ExMathMajor]

No way did this show need to be 2 hours. Talk about an amazing drinking game. Every time someone says "it's a big decision" or "divorce"...DRINK!

 

Halfway through this, listening with one ear, I started wondering what outcome would have to happen for me to be completely surprised and to not think these last x weeks of watching were a complete waste of time. And for one heart-stopping second I thought Doug would give it to me as he sat on the couch with Jamie. "I've made my decision...You're a wonderful, gorgeous person with a lot of potential. I think you'll make some lucky man a wonderful wife someday." Alas, it was not to be...

 

I'm glad Jason took what seemed to be a significant leap of faith. That said...was anyone else surprised that it took until the last two episodes to get any kind of insight into his past relationships? Prior to that I didn't remember hearing anything about how this had contributed to his guardedness. Oh wait...maybe that's because they were spending so much time on how JAMIE'S past contributed to her guardedness.

 

 

Monet's problem seems to stem from her lack of understanding of self.  I'm not sure she even likes herself; how can she?  She doesn't know who she is.   Monet appears to be lacking individuality, it seems, so she borrows bits and pieces of personality and behaviors from others whom she admires/respects.  Thus, she emulates other people, making herself a composite rather than an authentic person in her own right.

 

I completely agree with this. That said, relationships like hers and Vaughn's play a HUGE role in helping you learn about yourself and about what you really want. In that way, the story of her and Vaughn's marriage tanking so badly may end up serving as a cautionary tale in more ways than one.

 

Ultimately, and despite my still feeling as though I dipped into the slimy end of the reality-show pool, I wish all of these participants the best of luck. I doubt I'll be back for a second season of this, though.

[truthaboutluv]

I would not be surprised if there is a Jamie and Doug show in the future.

 

 

I certainly hope not...of course it's not like I'd watch. Unlike some, I never found Jamie and Doug particularly interesting. But considering how much it seems like just about anyone gets a reality show these days, it wouldn't shock me and that would certainly convince the people who still think she's a mean, famewhoring woman, that they were wrong. 

[Ohwell]

I would not be surprised if there is a Jamie and Doug show in the future.

Gag me.  If they do get a show, I won't be watching.  In fact, I'm not sure I'll be watching the second season of this show. 

[Jellybeans]

I find Jamie and Doug quite entertaining. I would watch their show.

[62GREAT]

Right ExMathMajor:  Oh wait...maybe that's because they were spending so much time on how JAMIE'S past contributed to her guardedness

 

I often felt like Jamie was the primary focus of the show.  Most of the footage and all of the concern seemed to be concentrated on Jamie and her past.  On the stir recap from Alex McCord, she pointed out that a divorce for Jamie this soon would not look good if she is truly persuing an tv career especially after 2 other failed tv relationships. 

[trimthatfat]

 

Apparently, the reunion will also be 2 hours (expect more clips) and there's an "unveiled" special coming up with more unseen footage. I would not be surprised if there is a Jamie and Doug show in the future.

 

The finale and the reunion did not need to be 2 hours each. I will trust you all to summarize the reunion because I won't be tuning in.

[Katmai]

 

I often felt like Jamie was the primary focus of the show.  Most of the footage and all of the concern seemed to be concentrated on Jamie and her past.

And there in lies the crux of this show, with it being known that Jamie was pursued by the producers and was the primary featured player. Right. It was basically a trial run for a Jamie Show.

[MissScarlett]

And as you said, how traditional is he if he was happy with a 50/50 split? Seems to me he doesn't really understand that kind of marriage either. She works full time, and then comes home to cook and clean, you're only paying half the bills and you aren't even affectionate? Why are you even here?

 

I think Vaughn was happy with a 50/50 split once he determined that Monet was not the gal for him. 

 

Also, I think Monet was the one who mentioned the sexual chemistry in every episode.  Vaughn didn't mention it at all (if I am remembering right).  

 

Looking back, I think he made all of those assy comments (about wanting to have a threesome, etc.) throughout their time together for the purpose of pushing her away.  After awhile, it seemed that he liked to make her mad.  As much as he kept saying that they were "in it", I think he just meant "in it" to finish out the five weeks.

 

I breathed a sigh of absolute relief when he mentioned that they were going to go their separate ways.  Dr. Pepper and Dr. Joseph looked so sad... lol.  I was like "If you guys saw them as we saw them, you would have breathed a sigh of relief too".

 

For a second though, I thought that they were giving Jamie and Doug the breakup edit and Monet and Vaughn the "stay together" edit as Vaughn and Monet seemed pretty cozy together, while Jamie and Doug were more angst-filled than usual. 

I certainly hope not...of course it's not like I'd watch. Unlike some, I never found Jamie and Doug particularly interesting. But considering how much it seems like just about anyone gets a reality show these days, it wouldn't shock me and that would certainly convince the people who still think she's a mean, famewhoring woman, that they were wrong. 

 

I agree!  Although, I would totally watch "Cortney and Jason: The Fire Academy" series.

Edited September 11, 2014 by MissScarlett

[trimthatfat]

And there in lies the crux of this show, with it being known that Jamie was pursued by the producers and was the primary featured player. Right. It was basically a trial run for a Jamie Show.

 

I know Jamie said the producers contacted her, but honestly, most people have clue who she is. My mother has seen nearly every season of The Bachelor and didn't recognize Jamie. What was so special about her that the producers wanted her for this show? I don't get it.

[Puffaroo]

This show so did not have to be 2 hours. I am getting bored with all of these recaps.

 

I would like to thank On Demand for allowing me to fast-forward through about seven-eighths of this show.