Kailyn: Kail Smash!

[toodywoody]

She needs to put her nips away also. Just buy bigger fucking clothes for shit's sake. She probably didnt even buy any new clothes, probably shit she wore before she got pregnant. And why must she wear fucking yoga/sweat/workout pants in every picture, except the yeasty shorts picture. 

[MargeGunderson]

I guess the ripped black jeans are no longer an option.

[Mkay]

6 hours ago, toodywoody said:

She needs to put her nips away also. Just buy bigger fucking clothes for shit's sake. She probably didnt even buy any new clothes, probably shit she wore before she got pregnant. And why must she wear fucking yoga/sweat/workout pants in every picture, except the yeasty shorts picture. 

These are the same pants she posed in around Oct standing on her scale in a yoga bra.  She still trying to squeeze mother Russia off in there. 

Nips are showing through because she only wears yoga bra or camis with built in bras.  It's sad I know this. Ugh I need a new life. 

[zenme]

Nobody wants to take their kids on an outing at the zoo to see some lady in skin tight Lycra and nipples.  I'm with ToodyWoody. Get bigger clothes!

[FlowerofCarnage]

On 4/15/2017 at 10:10 PM, Mkay said:

This is the chick who went to Hawaii with Kail. Also the Becky chick in the picture. 

Those leggings make Kail look like Shamu!

[GreatKazu]

9 minutes ago, FlowerofCarnage said:

Those leggings make Kail look like Shamu!

I posted a photo in the visual snark thread the last time she posted a photo of herself wearing those orca leggings. 

[toodywoody]

9 hours ago, zenme said:

Nobody wants to take their kids on an outing at the zoo to see some lady in skin tight Lycra and nipples.  I'm with ToodyWoody. Get bigger clothes!

It isn't that hard. She has the money. She is not a small woman to begin with. There are cute maternity clothes. She could be looking cute in trendy clothing but no, she looks like a fucking sausage every damn picture with yoga/tight pants and tight as fuck shirts. Bitch you are not 18 anymore, dress a little better.

[Tatum]

9 hours ago, GreatKazu said:

I posted a photo in the visual snark thread the last time she posted a photo of herself wearing those orca leggings. 

Can I say just how much I love the description- orca leggings.

 

I actually think she looks cute in the pic- from the hips up, which is more than I can  normally say for the scowling vortex of suck. I'd salute her for picking a kid friendly activity, but can she ever just take her kids somewhere without having her entourage along?

[FlowerofCarnage]

IMO, Kail's outfit is more suited for a Target run than a outing with family and friends.

[EmeraldGirl]

At least her hair is looking good. She's cute with an all over blonde and not that stupid ombre hair.  

I like that her kids always look clean and well cared for. Hopefully the drama dies down, but how can it with another baby coming? Is the father going to be involved? Will he pay attention to the boys? The biggest fuckery of all is that Leah had Germy as a stepdad to the twins - now he doesn't even acknowledge them. I really hope that Kail doesn't have three separate families going without any of them blending. 

[ChristmasJones]

With two kids whose dads both live in the same general area, will Karl ever be able to move out of state, or maybe when they are old and can choose who to live with?

[TeenMomAngerMgmt]

On 4/12/2017 at 11:49 AM, Adiba said:

I hope it's a girl-- one that gives her hell, lol

I actually really hope she doesn't have a girl. Black hair on a little girl would drive her absolutely nuts. A lot of white mothers of biracial children do not get that black hair is different and requires different care needs. A little boy you can get him a fade haircut and he'd be fine. A little girl, not so much. I wonder if she has thought about that. If the little girl's hair is kept natural, it will take a lot of time and/or money to get it styled and maintained. If the little girl's hair is straightened, she'll have to decide if she wants to do that naturally (with a straightening comb, for example) or chemically (with a relaxer). I'm not trying to turn this into a natural vs relaxer debate, but more so to say that I doubt any of this shit has ever occurred to Kail. If Chris is the father and Kail has a girl, I hope he has a good relationship with his mothers, aunties, sisters, cousins, etc. Kail WILL need their help with her hair. 

[ChocolateAddict]

That's what makes me sad about the whole thing.  Jo and Javi seem to be prepared to work together to create a blended family even when Kail isn't around, taking the boys out and keeping up the relationship.  Jo even invited Lincoln to Vivi's birthday party to give the kids an opportunity to all be together (even though Vivi won't really remember, hahaha).  Jo and Javi really seem to make the effort to show the kids that even though they all have different parents, all the adults in their lives (Kail excluded) are there for them. 

It's then asking a bit much for them to accommodate another guy and another child into what is already a complicated relationship.  It's been a long time coming to get Javi, Jo, Vee, Lincoln and Isaac hanging out and enjoying themselves, let alone including a guy who has yet to identify himself as the baby's father.  If he isn't prepared to be named as the father, I can't imagine that he is going to be interested in a playdate with his child's two half-siblings and their dads.  In that case, Baby Unknown is going to be the odd one out when Jo and Javi do the right thing and try to keep the kids together.  And since Baby Unknown won't actually be related to Jo or Javi, they won't be able to take him/her because hell would freeze over and pigs would fly before Kail would let all three of her kids go out to have fun with her exes.  If there isn't an Instagram opportunity in it for her, it isn't happening. 

So we'll get front row seats while Kail picks fights with three different fathers and the kids are at different places at different times of the week.  Dealing with three different custody situations would require the ability to compromise, be understanding and organised and Kail clearly has none of those skills.  

It is beyond frustrating that Kail would "choose" to have a child right when things seemed to be working out with her other kids.  After what must have been a tough year for Isaac and Lincoln with Javi deploying, coming back and being kicked out, they really needed stability but instead Kail has thrown another child into the mix which will no doubt will make her even more of a hormonal cow and mess with the dynamics of the house.  She's a selfish bitch who didn't use birth control and is now going to be a 3x3.  When you have matched Jenelle for baby daddies, it's time to reconsider your life choices. 

[EmeraldGirl]

I don't know why she didn't just have another baby with Javi. They could have still divorced, but it would be way less complicated. He was a terrible husband but he's good with the boys. And if he deploys again she's back in control. Either that or F'ing wait until you're in a steady relationship and have a few more kids close in age if that's what you want. She's got A LOT of childbearing years left. I guess she wants to just get that part of her life over with, but we don't always get what we want. 

[Mkay]

I looked up the paternity laws in Delaware a while back.  Delaware seemed really lax on it if I remember.  I'm being too lazy to look right this second but as I read it I remember thinking, she isn't going to put him on the birth certificate.  Sounds like she plans on it just being her. 

[HeySandyStrange]

I know we speculated months back about the reasoning for Kail to carelessly (or purposely) get pregnant. I'm still freaking confused about what was her reasoning to continue a pregnancy by a less then invested man when she was freshly divorced, with 2 other suffering kids, finishing up that degree she keeps bragging about, and still going back and forth between a few different FwBs. Nothing new, but it still boggles my mind these many months later.

Also, Kail, I wouldn't be bragging about my baby daddy being a loser deadbeat who wasn't interested in my child, because that is exactly what the situation is. You ain't that good, Spinderella. I feel for poor baby number #3, they are in a real shit position in comparison to their siblings.

[EmeraldGirl]

Props given where it's needed - Javi is teaching Isaac how to ride a bike. At least they're getting along and he's involved (for now, knock wood). 

[Brooklynista]

On 4/12/2017 at 8:56 PM, Mkay said:

Jesus God Kail!! Could your shorts be any tighter?

I apologize for seeing this a day late. We have found the reason ole boy bounced on Kail.

Kail sweetie, you cant serve no black man unseasoned chicken. Aint a speck of anything on that damn chicken. You just cant do that honey. All the time she spent with the Riveras and Javi's mom and she aint learn nothing bout seasoning meat?? Shes gonna have to do better if she wants to keep buying black.

[Adiba]

3 hours ago, TeenMomAngerMgmt said:

I actually really hope she doesn't have a girl. Black hair on a little girl would drive her absolutely nuts. A lot of white mothers of biracial children do not get that black hair is different and requires different care needs. A little boy you can get him a fade haircut and he'd be fine. A little girl, not so much. I wonder if she has thought about that. If the little girl's hair is kept natural, it will take a lot of time and/or money to get it styled and maintained. If the little girl's hair is straightened, she'll have to decide if she wants to do that naturally (with a straightening comb, for example) or chemically (with a relaxer). I'm not trying to turn this into a natural vs relaxer debate, but more so to say that I doubt any of this shit has ever occurred to Kail. If Chris is the father and Kail has a girl, I hope he has a good relationship with his mothers, aunties, sisters, cousins, etc. Kail WILL need their help with her hair. 

You have a point regarding hair if Chris is the father. I have to admit, I didn't think of that aspect. Kail might use her tm2 money to make sure her daughter's (if she has one) hair looks good. I was more thinking of the teenaged years, when mother/daughter relationships tend to be challenging when I wished a girl on Kail.

[HeySandyStrange]

1 hour ago, Brooklynista said:

I apologize for seeing this a day late. We have found the reason ole boy bounced on Kail.

Kail sweetie, you cant serve no black man unseasoned chicken. Aint a speck of anything on that damn chicken. You just cant do that honey. All the time she spent with the Riveras and Javi's mom and she aint learn nothing bout seasoning meat?? Shes gonna have to do better if she wants to keep buying black.

Dying over here, this is on point ?. To be fair, my very white husband would give me the evil eye if I didn't so much as put some Ms.Dash on a piece of meat before serving it to him. My guess is that Kail let's others cook for her or orders out most of the time.

Edited April 18, 2017 by HeySandyStrange

[GreatKazu]

4 hours ago, EmeraldGirl said:

I don't know why she didn't just have another baby with Javi. They could have still divorced, but it would be way less complicated. He was a terrible husband but he's good with the boys. And if he deploys again she's back in control. Either that or F'ing wait until you're in a steady relationship and have a few more kids close in age if that's what you want. She's got A LOT of childbearing years left. I guess she wants to just get that part of her life over with, but we don't always get what we want. 

Javi was not always a good husband because he had a fucking asshole for a wife. She also beat his ass. I would find it hard for anyone to be rational under those kind of conditions. 

1 hour ago, Brooklynista said:

I apologize for seeing this a day late. We have found the reason ole boy bounced on Kail.

Kail sweetie, you cant serve no black man unseasoned chicken. Aint a speck of anything on that damn chicken. You just cant do that honey. All the time she spent with the Riveras and Javi's mom and she aint learn nothing bout seasoning meat?? Shes gonna have to do better if she wants to keep buying black.

That's right.

Lopez is the guy's last name. He is half Latino, right? Latinos love their food with spices and seasoning as well. Kail must be as dull in bed as she is with her cooking style. 

[FlowerofCarnage]

2 hours ago, GreatKazu said:

Javi was not always a good husband because he had a fucking asshole for a wife. She also beat his ass. I would find it hard for anyone to be rational under those kind of conditions. 

That's right.

Lopez is the guy's last name. He is half Latino, right? Latinos love their food with spices and seasoning as well. Kail must be as dull in bed as she is with her cooking style. 

And Javi married her knowing she can't  or won't season meat! No wonder Mrs. Marroquin had to move in otherwise that house would have been a mess and Javi wouldn't have had a decent meal.

I suspect Chris is Afro-Latino seeing how Kail confirmed the baby will be half-black.

[GreatKazu]

1 hour ago, FlowerofCarnage said:

And Javi married her knowing she can't  or won't season meat! No wonder Mrs. Marroquin had to move in otherwise that house would have been a mess and Javi wouldn't have had a decent meal.

I suspect Chris is Afro-Latino seeing how Kail confirmed the baby will be half-black.

I don't think I have read Kail referring to the baby as half black, just black.

There is no half anything with Kail. Not ethnicity, not money, not property, not cash. It is all or nothing. 

[Christina]

In that photo of Kail in the super short shorts at the grill, does she have a penis? I think I looked at it the first time and went temporarily blind, but it just reappeared again and my eyes deceived me. Bad eyes; must shut them.

[ghoulina]

17 hours ago, Brooklynista said:

I apologize for seeing this a day late. We have found the reason ole boy bounced on Kail.

Kail sweetie, you cant serve no black man unseasoned chicken. Aint a speck of anything on that damn chicken. You just cant do that honey. All the time she spent with the Riveras and Javi's mom and she aint learn nothing bout seasoning meat?? Shes gonna have to do better if she wants to keep buying black.

LOL, hell, I'm just a cornfed white girl from the midwest, but I would never throw some plain chicken like that on the grill. I love to marinate mine beforehand, in different salad dressings. Balsamic vinaigrette is my favorite.Then add some good seasoning before cooking. Kail must REALLY be trying to basic.....in everything. 

[Birdee]

I was just thinking the same thing. I'm a small-town white girl and when I first moved away from home and had to learn to cook for myself even I knew to marinate my chicken boobies in Italian dressing and add some garlic salt and pepper. Poor Isaac and Lincoln must eat some bland ass meals at home. I hope their dads cook something yummy for them when they're away from Karl.

[Jennifersdc]

On 4/17/2017 at 3:51 PM, TeenMomAngerMgmt said:

I actually really hope she doesn't have a girl. Black hair on a little girl would drive her absolutely nuts. A lot of white mothers of biracial children do not get that black hair is different and requires different care needs. A little boy you can get him a fade haircut and he'd be fine. A little girl, not so much. I wonder if she has thought about that. If the little girl's hair is kept natural, it will take a lot of time and/or money to get it styled and maintained. If the little girl's hair is straightened, she'll have to decide if she wants to do that naturally (with a straightening comb, for example) or chemically (with a relaxer). I'm not trying to turn this into a natural vs relaxer debate, but more so to say that I doubt any of this shit has ever occurred to Kail. If Chris is the father and Kail has a girl, I hope he has a good relationship with his mothers, aunties, sisters, cousins, etc. Kail WILL need their help with her hair. 

Bitch please - Kail is in her "black identity" phase at the moment (sure several other "phases" to come over her lifetime). Think of all the Instagram opportunities of her dealing with little black girl hair! Meaning she'll pay somebody to braid and then condition as needed while posting later Instagram shots of her "doing it on her own" while wearing numerous tops that exclaim she's a Mom...

Hopefully Kail's black girlfriends will explain about the proper washing and conditioning of braids so the poor little girl won't end up bald...cause I'm pretty sure "I'm so down Kail" will go natural. I think her and Rachel Dolezal should be pen pals. Rachel actually apparently seems to know a lot about the topic...

Don't know why though aforementioned black girlfriends didn't tell her about seasoning chicken...though even my 75-yr old white Mother (albeit Southern) knew that in 1975...

[Uncle JUICE]

Can someone please name a nationality / ethnicity that does NOT season meat, of any kind? I mean has any good meal ever come from the recipe "remove from package, cook as is"? 

Thank goodness for my nonna...being a dude who can get down in the kitchen used to get me a lot of mileage in my early 20's in college (and after when I worked as a line chef in a couple places). Gotta know how to market yourself, after  all :). 

[TeenMomAngerMgmt]

16 hours ago, Jennifersdc said:

Bitch please - Kail is in her "black identity" phase at the moment (sure several other "phases" to come over her lifetime). Think of all the Instagram opportunities of her dealing with little black girl hair! Meaning she'll pay somebody to braid and then condition as needed while posting later Instagram shots of her "doing it on her own" while wearing numerous tops that exclaim she's a Mom...

Hopefully Kail's black girlfriends will explain about the proper washing and conditioning of braids so the poor little girl won't end up bald...cause I'm pretty sure "I'm so down Kail" will go natural. I think her and Rachel Dolezal should be pen pals. Rachel actually apparently seems to know a lot about the topic...

Don't know why though aforementioned black girlfriends didn't tell her about seasoning chicken...though even my 75-yr old white Mother (albeit Southern) knew that in 1975...

I call upon sweet Baby Jesus wrapped up in swaddling and lying in the manger not to let Kail have a girl. I shudder to think what self-hating bullshit she would impose on that child. 

[poopchute]

Do people need to be told/taught to season meat?  I feel like that she just common sense?

[Uncle JUICE]

1 minute ago, poopchute said:

Do people need to be told/taught to season meat?  I feel like that she just common sense?

I bet she didn't even trim it. It SAYS pre-trimmed, I'm sure, but you always need to clean it up. And if you're grilling, you have to split those things. I bet they were raw as hell, or burned to death, 

[Brooklynista]

22 minutes ago, poopchute said:

Do people need to be told/taught to season meat?  I feel like that she just common sense?

If it was common, she would have put something on them birds. next time she has a bbq put me down for NOT COMING.

[GreatKazu]

3 hours ago, Uncle JUICE said:

Can someone please name a nationality / ethnicity that does NOT season meat, of any kind? I mean has any good meal ever come from the recipe "remove from package, cook as is"? 

 

The Hulk people. 

Kail has bottles of ranch to drip over those chickens. Remember, she is a ranch girl! Seasonings are a non-mutherfucker factor. 

[Christina]

14 hours ago, GreatKazu said:

The Hulk people. 

Kail has bottles of ranch to drip over those chickens. Remember, she is a ranch girl! Seasonings are a non-mutherfucker factor. 

My first thought when seeing that photo was to erase it from memory. The second was that she had a penis. The third, after the discussion here, is that she just planned to pour a bottle of barbeque sauce over it and that is why she didn't bother to season it, but ranch is the obvious answer.

On one of the after shows, Nessa(?) asked them to reveal a phobia. Kail's was of knives. I kid you not, she said she was afraid of knives. I wanted to make fun of her but knowing part of her history, I wondered if she saw someone threatened with one as a child, and now has the phobia. Trimming meat isn't going to happen with her hand, unless she has gotten help or maybe was made fun of by her new friends/beau about it and soldiered on. It's too odd of a thing to lie about, even for her, since I don't really see any benefit to her for telling it. Javi's mom was already doing the cooking.

[GreatKazu]

Kail has a phobia about knives. But not scissors. 

[dabronx]

On 4/19/2017 at 9:42 AM, Uncle JUICE said:

Can someone please name a nationality / ethnicity that does NOT season meat, of any kind? I mean has any good meal ever come from the recipe "remove from package, cook as is"? 

Thank goodness for my nonna...being a dude who can get down in the kitchen used to get me a lot of mileage in my early 20's in college (and after when I worked as a line chef in a couple places). Gotta know how to market yourself, after  all :). 

Irish. We'll boil the shit out of any kind of meat. But seasoning -   not so much. My neighbor tells  the best story of introducing her cousins in Ireland to the magical power or garlic. And if my MIL is any indication.... lmao

[Jennifersdc]

16 hours ago, dabronx said:

Irish. We'll boil the shit out of any kind of meat. But seasoning -   not so much. My neighbor tells  the best story of introducing her cousins in Ireland to the magical power or garlic. And if my MIL is any indication.... lmao

You win! I now have memories of my Irish grandmother. Not so fond ones of her food...

[polandspring]

21 hours ago, dabronx said:

Irish. We'll boil the shit out of any kind of meat. But seasoning -   not so much. My neighbor tells  the best story of introducing her cousins in Ireland to the magical power or garlic. And if my MIL is any indication.... lmao

What about corned beef?!

[Mkay]

Kail mentioned her baby is the size of a rudabega. Someone mentioned they must have the same app because hers said that and she is 25 weeks.  I know it doesn't exactly work this way but counting back 25 weeks puts her getting knocked up before her divorce was final. So her claim of not being pregnant at the reunion is a big ol lie.  

Edited April 24, 2017 by Mkay

[GreatKazu]

2 hours ago, Mkay said:

Kail mentioned her baby is the size of a rudabega. Someone mentioned they must have the same app because hers said that and she is 25 weeks.  I know it doesn't exactly work this way but counting back 25 weeks puts her getting knocked up before her divorce was final. So her claim of not being pregnant at the reunion is a big ol lie.  

At this point, I don't think it matters since we know she is a constant liar. Just like we know she was banging guys WHILE SHE WAS STILL MARRIED and BEFORE JAVI DEPLOYED. She is just a five star hussy. 

[CofCinci]

We all know this puta is going to give birth to a 9 lb. "premie".

[Mkay]

Today is Kail's last day of school. Be sure you all send cash out Kail a graduation gift. ???

[Jennifersdc]

Is she finally actually graduating? As my husband says from the 7th best college in Delaware or the 20th best HBCU in the nation! 

Sorry - that's actually a little mean. I'll give her credit for getting an actual Bachelor's Degree since none of the rest have (Jenelle - online certification from a for-profit doesn't count). Kail just acts like this is some huge accomplishment- as if she's a poor, underprivileged teen mother who has neither means or any help with her kids. 

[Birdee]

She's not patting herself on the back for being the first teen mom in the history of the world to graduate from college, so I'm guessing she's just done for the spring semester. She'll just gloss over the fact that she should be graduating and try to sell us all some Scentsy while showing off her baby bump and Mother Russia hiney. 

[Mkay]

She graduates May 13. 

[Tatum]

But is she actually done with school? I mean, maybe her graduation ceremony is a few weeks out, but if she's done with classes, isn't she still an unofficial graduate?

 

I wonder if today is her last day of actual classes, and maybe she has finals next week? So, she's done all the coursework, but can't say she's graduated yet because she still has to pass her finals?

 

ETA: (Otherwise known as I have no life):

 

Per the school calendar, finals are next week. So perhaps she is waiting to see how she does on finals before she brags about graduating? Her school related tweets are rather understated from what I would expect.

Edited April 26, 2017 by Tatum

[heatherchandler]

On 4/17/2017 at 6:10 PM, Brooklynista said:

 

Kail sweetie, you cant serve no black man unseasoned chicken. Aint a speck of anything on that damn chicken. You just cant do that honey. All the time she spent with the Riveras and Javi's mom and she aint learn nothing bout seasoning meat?? Shes gonna have to do better if she wants to keep buying black.

Isn't bland, unseasoned chicken just THE BEST definition of Kail?  She IS bland chicken, her face looks like unseasoned chicken.

 

On 4/17/2017 at 7:40 PM, GreatKazu said:

Javi was not always a good husband because he had a fucking asshole for a wife. She also beat his ass. I would find it hard for anyone to be rational under those kind of conditions. 

 

Thank you, I would like to "heart" this comment 10000x.

[GreatKazu]

3 hours ago, Mkay said:

Today is Kail's last day of school. Be sure you all send cash out Kail a graduation gift. ???

lol

 

Every day is hump day for the hump whale. Humping guys is what puta does best. 

Quote

Isn't bland, unseasoned chicken just THE BEST definition of Kail?  She IS bland chicken, her face looks like unseasoned chicken.

lol

Rotten, unseasoned chicken that will give you salmonella. 

Edited April 26, 2017 by GreatKazu

[polandspring]

Kail's face always looks swollen.  Not fat, but like she's been crying for hours or just got stung by 1000s of bees.

I want to put her on spironolactone. 

[BXD]

She posted the same pic on Instagram and referred to "Baby Lo" again. I wonder if "Lo" could also be short for "Lowry" to save face in case it turns out that Chris Lopez dude is not the father?  She could just be like "Lo was short for Lowry the whole time"

Edited April 26, 2017 by BXD