S16.E11: Moonshine and Monthiversaries

[Emma Snyder]

Quote

With just four more weeks until Decision Day, our newlywed strangers celebrate their milestone one-month anniversaries. Some take to the skies, others to the water, and one couple decides to just smash stuff up.  And when some uncomfortable questions are asked at a group dinner, one couple questions if they're on the same page or not.

Airs Wednesday, March 15, at 8:00PM EDT.

[Retired at last]

A group dinner on their anniversary? Do they usually do that? I just remember doing stupid things like reliving their weddings and having some awkward dinners and asking producer-scripted questions about where they were on their journey, and maybe how they rated 1 month of marriage.

[VioletNevermind]

Damn, Nicole’s dad needs to take it down a notch.  I would be mortified if my dad said that my brand-new husband needs some “big duck energy.”  He definitely wore his actor hat to these MAFS tapings.  

Edited March 16, 2023 by VioletNevermind
I just saw my error and I’m not fixing it. 😂

[JayDub1987]

I think I’m out until the decision day episodes. These people are just too boring to me. Hell, we spent another chunk of this episode with these people talking to other people. Gonna go watch “Farmer Wants a Wife.”

Hold up. As a fan of Ol Smoky Moonshine, I’m hanging on for this one. Curious how thick they lay it on with the “shots” that are not really shots. 
 

Second Edit

nevermind. They even made a really fun place boring. 

Edited March 16, 2023 by JayDub1987

[kristen111]

I have no idea what Kirsten is talking about, and neither is she.  If you like him, show him a little, as he cannot read your mind.  She’s talking about the future, so show him some love.  He’s confused.  I can’t stand the way she talks also.  Like a little baby.   I like Farmer Wants a Wife too.

Edited March 16, 2023 by kristen111

[APK]

If I were married to Gina, I would be disappointed she didn’t join me in the water, and didn’t wear a bikini.

[kristen111]

Is Arris tired, high, or depressed?  Why did they pick him?  He is so blah .  I’d be pissed if I was Jasmine.  This is a honeymoon and you wouldn’t know it with these two.  I would leave instead of waiting for him to make up his mind.  It’s insulting and she deserves more than this nut job.  He has no personality whatsoever.

[Straycat80]

These people are so boring. I think I’m out until D Day. 

[kristen111]

Jasmine and Arris are eating .. her boobs are hanging out on the table, and he’s looking the other way telling her he’s not interested.  WTH?  Why is she sticking around?  It’s a joke.

Looks like Gina is warming up to Clint.  Good.  At least she is trying.  

[kikicat]

Chris should have told Nicole, "Let's start saving now for another ceremony on our first anniversary. You can get exactly the dress and makeup you want." Defuse her negativity and let her know he's committed. This only applies if he is actually committed. 

OK, dinner scene. What kind of jacket is Shaq wearing? I thought he was missing a sleeve.

I might kiss a bald head, but I don't know if I'd rub it like a genie lamp.

[Straycat80]

Maybe they should have put Jas and Shaq together. Kirsten and Airris are not attracted to their spouses. I would think after a month you would know if you were ever going to feel something physical. 
Clint and Gina are at least showing promise. 

[kikicat]

1 hour ago, VioletNevermind said:

Damn, Nicole’s dad needs to take it down a notch.  I would be mortified if my dad said that my brand-new husband needs some “big duck energy.”  He definitely wore his actor hat to these MAFS tapings.  

If only Chris had been prepared, he could have brought along a bag of ducks.

On to the After Party. Airris is skilled at the art of manspreading. Shaq sure sounds like a single man to me. He has nothing good to say about Kirsten.

Edited March 16, 2023 by kikicat
additional profound thoughts

[kristen111]

Put Arris and Kirsten together and call it a day.  They both have zero personality.  Horrible episode.  They should push this show up to next week and end it.  Tonite was just 45 minutes.

[Kiss my mutt]

I can’t believe we’re only on the half way mark. This show is interminable. 

[kristen111]

1 hour ago, APK said:

If I were married to Gina, I would be disappointed she didn’t join me in the water, and didn’t wear a bikini.

I doubt we’ll see her in a bikini again after he said she was a little thick.

[kikicat]

Halfway through? Nooooo!

Well, I guess this means we have to get a sex episode, so Airris can finally shine. 🤮 Just the tip re: After Party: he claims he brings up sex around the other couples because they're too serious and he wants to lighten the mood. OK.

Either they've skipped the budget/income/money talk and the trip to their childhood homes, or those are still to come.

The only episode I'm looking forward to is the group weekend retreat. Usually some drama there.

[Katie111]

Arris wants sex to mean something but yet he had a one night stand the night before he was chosen.  He is so full of BS.  And he acts like she can’t get enough of him. I haven’t seen any signs that she’s head over heels for him.  She seems very indifferent but at least willing to try.  
 

Kirsten is just so surface level, she has zero depth.  She just wants to sit around all the time and talk about nothing. No think Shaw is bored by her so he is avoiding her.  He wants to spend time with her family & friends because he is trying to see if she has any pulse at all.  
 

I like that Nicole hated her makeup on her wedding day, I think we would alll agree it was bad.  But she is being a bit annoying about it. 

Edited March 16, 2023 by Katie111

[Elizzikra]

Quote

I might kiss a bald head, but I don't know if I'd rub it like a genie lamp.

I would. I'd be making wishes a dozen times a day.

Quote

Put Arris and Kirsten together and call it a day.  They both have zero personality.  Horrible episode.  They should push this show up to next week and end it.  Tonite was just 45 minutes.

That would have been a better match and I think that Jas and Shaq would have worked really well together too. 

I think Hank is the MVP of this episode. Such a good boi!

Edited March 16, 2023 by Elizzikra

[NowVoyager]

I actively dislike Airriss. However, I give him points for taking sex with Jasmine off of the table. Thank God! At least we won't have another Chris & Paige from Atlanta situation.

Edited March 16, 2023 by NowVoyager

[Blissfool]

12 hours ago, kristen111 said:

He is so blah .  I’d be pissed if I was Jasmine.  This is a honeymoon and you wouldn’t know it with these two.  I would leave instead of waiting for him to make up his mind.  It’s insulting and she deserves more than this nut job.  He has no personality whatsoever.

What Jasmin really needs is a visit to the optometrist because I don't  understand what she can possibly see attractive in Airris.

 

10 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

 

I think Hank is the MVP of this episode. Such a good boi!

It's gonna be so sad to separate Clint and Hank if the marriage doesn't work out.

Edited March 16, 2023 by Blissfool

[Bees52]

So, are Chris and Nicole the model couple of the remaining four? They're trying to take on the therapist roles to assess and help all the other couples reach their level of success. Not sure if it's helpful of Nicole to ask so many questions, or if she's just being nosey.

[Empress1]

10 hours ago, Katie111 said:

I like that Nicole hated her makeup on her wedding day, I think we would alll agree it was bad.

It was. She has big features so heavy makeup like her wedding look makes them look even bigger. The worst wedding makeup look is still Atlanta Virginia’s though.

Gina and Clint seem like buddies, not a romantic couple. Airris and Kirsten are both SO BORING. Shaq has all this stuff going on: work, school, mentoring, apparently he sews. Kirsten is just kind of there. Sometimes attractive people don’t cultivate personalities because people just want to be near them for their looks and I wonder if that’s what’s going on here, but it’s clearly not good enough for Shaq, and good for him. And Airris isn’t even attractive so he has no excuse for his lackluster personality.

[cinsays]

7 hours ago, Bees52 said:

So, are Chris and Nicole the model couple of the remaining four? They're trying to take on the therapist roles to assess and help all the other couples reach their level of success. Not sure if it's helpful of Nicole to ask so many questions, or if she's just being nosey.

I really like Nicole, but her questions at the get-together dinner just put everyone on the spot and were not helpful.

[Shauna]

Is Jasmine non-stop with wanting sex?  Is that why Airris wanted to take if off the table until after decision day?  Has he been feeling pressure to do the deed?   I kept watching for a nip slip with that orange dress Jasmine was wearing.

Clint needs a haircut and a bear trim, but he's fantastic with Hank and Hank clearly loves him.

I wouldn't be able to stand a lifetime with Gina's inflated lips and oversized teeth, though. 

[Lindz]

Jas looked amazing in that dress on that monthaversary. She needs some tape! Stat! I'm so sick of Airris & his disgusting beard! He hopes everyone else can help him?!?!! It's already been a month! He should've asked for help weeks ago! WTF?!! It's like they're just waking up every day hoping things will magically change. They're just wasting time. Jas is stuck on him not being attracted to her, yet wants an emotional connection. She's so full of crap talking about being prepared to be a wife, but can't even tell him her feelings & has a horrible attitude when him not being attracted comes up. Seriously. The eye rolling is so juvenile. WTF did Airris make a whole deal out of declaring no sex until after DD?!?! OUT OF NOWHERE!!! Like that's all he thinks about. Then asks Chris & Nicole about "married" sex. CREEPY WEIRDO!!! I VOTE HIM OFF IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!! He agrees to progress in other intimacy & in their usual superficial fashion they don't discuss what that will consist of! I'm so over them!

[Lindz]

Nic. Girl. SHUT UP about your makeup!!! You're killing the mood!!! And more than once, REALLY?!?!! NAH!!! KEEP THE NEGATIVITY!!! Do you want him to think you looked horrible?!?!? I wish Chris would've told her to shut up about it...in a good way. 🤪

[Lindz]

Is Nic a moderator? Is she trying to be the couples' counselor while they're all twisting in the wind on their own without the "experts"??? Is she sh*t-stirring? How is she talking about kissing with S&K, saying they should be past that, when they haven't even kissed???!! Hell. She is bringing up things they should've already discussed. I agree with Shaq feeling blindsided. She still says to intimacy & chemistry, "not really." That's so messed up! They need to TALK TO EACH OTHERRRR. WHY are they telling the producers/camera like that'll fix it?!?? MORONIC!!! How in the hell does she expect him to be committed to forever when he's not seeing progress?!! She's looking to the future with no plan to get there, like they have all the time in the world & there is no DD. It sounds like he's not all up on her like she wants. It is strange if he just greets her with a "hey." That ain't it. It was stupid of her to say he should ask if he wants to know how she's feeling, but I understand how that can seem like he doesn't care to know because he doesn't ask. They're a mess!!! Another couple where they need SPECIFICS on how they want to progress. 😒😒

[Retired at last]

9 hours ago, Bees52 said:

Not sure if it's helpful of Nicole to ask so many questions, or if she's just being nosey.

She is being directed to ask them. I think that since they seem to have had the easiest time, they have been appointed the senior couple. Didn't Chris ask the awkward questions last time? Any time they are together it is scripted.

Another snooze fest. I somehow dozed off (or was watching something else) so I didn't see the scene with Chris and Nicole's dad, thank goodness. Yes, Nicole's wedding make-up was horrible, but her dwelling it is going to get old. It already is to Chris. I like the idea that he should suggest a REAL wedding when they are done with this.

I do like Clint, but he does talk a lot. I am still so distracted by Gina's face/mouth that it is hard to focus. 

Airris is horrible. He is very unattractive and has zero personality. I feel bad for Jas if she is really in this for real and wanted to find a true husband. She needs to stop complaining that he doesn't find her attractive. That just makes her sound desperate.

Shaq is done. And, I do believe he wanted this to work. Kirsten seems like she is starting to open up, but it is not enough. She doesn't seem to have a personality, either. It looks like next week, they are getting a little bit physical. I guess that means it is time for the horrible sex assignments so they can pressure these people into doing something they don't want to. 

[LakeGal]

I think Airris only has one night stands.  He likes to sleep with a woman and never have to see or talk to her again.  He has no idea how to handle a relationship.  He doesn't want to have sex with Jasmine because she will still be there tomorrow.  He talks a big game but I think he is a dud.   

[Retired at last]

Airris is like that awful Olajuwon - a full-time player who decided he was suddenly ready for a relationship. So, what makes more sense than to jump into marriage with a stranger???? I can't believe they keep taking these losers and pairing them with potentially nice women. And, isn't Jasmine a pastor's daughter? I can see the "experts" thinking that she is just what he needs to mend his partying ways. I DO hope that she is not feeling too dejected by his lack of attraction and that she does not take it personally, which, of course, she would. He is just gross and ugly and horrible.

[Lisa418722]

All I got out of this episode is I want some Ole Smoky Apple Pie Moonshine.   Yes, I have bought a bottle in the past, and now I'm wanting it again.   

 

Oh yeah I also like Hank.  

[Lindz]

More of Clint talking about getting to know Gina more, more of him just talking about it. He did ask her personal goals & apparently she has none. What a dud. It's weird he's talking about "their" future kids when they don't even kiss. WTF did Gina mean by saying she wants to stop eating when she sees him eat?!!! Another insult?!! 🤨

[Rebky]

Kirsten gets on my last nerve with her self centeredness. It's all me,me,me and I,I,I. She is very clingy and wrapped up in her wants and needs. And very vocal and whiny when she doesn't get what she wants. She would be a hard pass for me.

[ECM1231]

31 minutes ago, Lindz said:

WTF did Gina mean by saying she wants to stop eating when she sees him eat?!!! Another insult?!! 🤨

I don't remember her exact words, but she basically was saying that sometimes she loses her appetite and doesn't want to eat when Clint mentions weird food items. He had just asked her if she had ever eaten "camel."  

[Empress1]

1 hour ago, Lisa418722 said:

All I got out of this episode is I want some Ole Smoky Apple Pie Moonshine.   Yes, I have bought a bottle in the past, and now I'm wanting it again.   

 

Oh yeah I also like Hank.  

It’s delish! My friends gave me some when I visited them in NC. I brought a bottle (well, a jar) to a party some time later and there wasn’t a drop left by the end of the night.

[Rightside]

19 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

I can’t believe we’re only on the half way mark. This show is interminable. 

 This must be the longest season ever! 

I have fast forwarded through 80% of the episodes, just stopping to watch what I can tolerate of Chris and Nicole and even less of Clint/Gina.  I doubt I can tolerate watching a "couples retreat."

Let's just get to the reunion show, I don't even care about decision day as I did before.

[seacliffsal]

This has got to be the season of 'way too many people think way too highly of themselves and therefore see their spouse as not good enough for them.'  I think that about Airris, Kirsten, Dom, and Gina.  They act like it's a huge favor for them to spend time with their spouses even though that is the whole premise of the show.

Even if Gina was softening towards Clint I don't think there is any way she would stay with him after her dog demonstrated how much more in love with Clint he was than with Gina (if was so cute that her dog barked warnings/concern when Clint was on the other side of the waterfall).

Although Jasmine isn't my favorite, I really feel for her as I know that I would definitely shutter if Airris ever touched me.  He is really unappealing to me and his non-stop sexual non-sense is totally off-putting (IMO).  I would pull a "Dom" and just get out of there.

Kirsten just doesn't make a lot of sense at times.  She wants to non-stop ask questions, doesn't like his humor, wants him to constantly be by her side, yet won't initiate intimacy.  She contradicts herself quite regularly.  And then she seems shocked that Shaq is getting tired of constant inquisitions and double-speak.

Very telling that Chris told Nicole that he wasn't into materials things like buying flowers, etc., when he told her that he always bought flowers for his exes and would do the same for her.  Things that make one go "hmmmmm."

[kristen111]

19 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

I can’t believe we’re only on the half way mark. This show is interminable. 

It’s now 45 minutes long.  Wasn’t it from 8 pm to 10 pm at one time?  Even 45 minutes is too long to see Krysten’s pouty face stalling Shaq.  Guess she doesn’t like him.

[qtpye]

On 3/14/2023 at 8:17 PM, Retired at last said:

A group dinner on their anniversary? Do they usually do that? I just remember doing stupid things like reliving their weddings and having some awkward dinners and asking producer-scripted questions about where they were on their journey, and maybe how they rated 1 month of marriage.

 

20 hours ago, kristen111 said:

Jasmine and Arris are eating .. her boobs are hanging out on the table, and he’s looking the other way telling her he’s not interested.  WTH?  Why is she sticking around?  It’s a joke.

Looks like Gina is warming up to Clint.  Good.  At least she is trying.  

 

8 hours ago, cinsays said:

I really like Nicole, but her questions at the get-together dinner just put everyone on the spot and were not helpful.

It is obvious to me that the group dinner was the worst group dinner on the show and Nicole/Chris are the only couple that has a snowball's chance in Hell of Making It. You can tell why they got the expensive helicopter ride for their 1 month's anniversary.

 

The rest of the couples are barely tolerating each other with Nicole/Clint being civil while they count down the clock.

Clint looks good in a cowboy hat and I loved the way he interacted with Gina's dog, Hank.

Clint will have a lot of ladies interested in him after Gina and his divorce.

Kirsten is shocked that Shaq is getting sick of her. She thought he was head over heels for her and would happily put up with her bullshit. 

I think Shaq has hinted that Kirsten is a totally different person on camera and she wanted nothing to do with him in real life. I don't know for sure since I have not been able to watch the Afterparty shows.

 

 

 

[Rebky]

3 hours ago, Empress1 said:

It’s delish! My friends gave me some when I visited them in NC. I brought a bottle (well, a jar) to a party some time later and there wasn’t a drop left by the end of the night.

There are a couple of moonshine bars in my area, and the drinks are so tasty and smooth, it's very easy to get zonked in no time.

[kristen111]

8 hours ago, cinsays said:

I really like Nicole, but her questions at the get-together dinner just put everyone on the spot and were not helpful.

I got that too.  She became the therapist of the group.  She’s very sure her and Chris will stay together.  It ain’t over till the fat lady sings.  No pun intended.  Still waters run deep.  He just might say no.  I’d hate for him to say no. She will be beside herself.  My hubs is a man of a few words, but he thinks she is pushy.

[qtpye]

44 minutes ago, seacliffsal said:

Very telling that Chris told Nicole that he wasn't into materials things like buying flowers, etc., when he told her that he always bought flowers for his exes and would do the same for her.  Things that make one go "hmmmmm."

I worry that the relationship is working only due to toxic reasons.

Nicole seems to want to do everything for Chris and Chris...well, I guess he's there.

I even noticed that she seemed to lose a little weight after he told her that she is bigger than what he normally dates.

Nicole does seem happy in the relationship so there's that. She seems to be the only happy person this season.

 

[StatisticalOutlier]

9 hours ago, cinsays said:

I really like Nicole, but her questions at the get-together dinner just put everyone on the spot and were not helpful.

On the aftershow, Shaq said Nicole slips notes under their door with relationship advice.  To her credit, Keisha said, "Describe one of these notes."  (Yay!  Specificity!)  One of them was how he needs to kiss Kirsten before going to bed.  Everybody was saying, "Why doesn't Kirsten say that to YOU?" but Shaq was more focused on how he doesn't appreciate Kirsten airing their dirty laundry about what's not happening between them, reminding me of whoever it was last season who fought over talking to the other couples about their relationship.

The whole Shaq and Kirsten thing confuses me, but he seemed to be bristling at being on Kirsten's timeline, that he didn't like it being all about her.  Something like, "Just because you want it now doesn't mean I do."  But if the problem was he wanted intimacy but she didn't, then I would think he'd be thrilled when she came around.  But he's not. 

Or maybe I just don't understand what's going on between them.  I do get the feeling that he's very much into the traditional man is the head of the household scheme.

22 hours ago, JayDub1987 said:

nevermind. They even made a really fun place boring. 

And most of it had nothing to do with the couples.  It was like an ad for the bar.

And that bus ride with the comedian was cringeworthy.

21 hours ago, APK said:

If I were married to Gina, I would be disappointed she didn’t join me in the water, and didn’t wear a bikini.

I want her to wear a bikini now that I know she has a 26" waist because I'm wondering how her clothes can disguise it so well.

21 hours ago, kikicat said:

Chris should have told Nicole, "Let's start saving now for another ceremony on our first anniversary. You can get exactly the dress and makeup you want."

Spoiler

And saving is always easier when your debts have been discharged through bankruptcy.  I really want to see that conversation.

Edited March 16, 2023 by StatisticalOutlier

[kristen111]

I have no idea why experts picked Kirsten.  After all these weeks, they are still in Square one.  She talks and talks, but I don’t think she even knows what she’s talking about.  If I was him, I would split.  She’s a waste of time.

Im liking Clint and Gina more and more.  They just might make it.

[Elizzikra]

Quote

I think Airris only has one night stands.  He likes to sleep with a woman and never have to see or talk to her again.  He has no idea how to handle a relationship.  He doesn't want to have sex with Jasmine because she will still be there tomorrow.  He talks a big game but I think he is a dud.   

He said he doesn't want to have sex with her because she is already more into him than he is into her and having sex with him would make it even moreso. Which I thought was pretty arrogant. But maybe also true? I do think that Jas is trying to make it work, maybe not so much for Airiss per se, but because she really wants to be married and I think she is committed to giving the process her best shot. I think Airiss checked out sometime during the wedding ceremony. Maybe before.

Quote

Im liking Clint and Gina more and more.  They just might make it.

I don't think they will make it but I do think they will part on friendly terms, which is better than I thought earlier this season.

[DrewPaul2010]

Jasmine needs to prepare herself for reality. Arris isn't going to hang around.

Nicole did look haunting in her wedding pictures. She should have her eyebrows photo shopped out. As often is the case a good personality and confidence create a few extra points on attractiveness. I'm sure they will stay together. 

Clint and Gina are having fun, communicating well. Not bad, is it enough to stay married? They buried the initial wound but the first disagreement it will raise its ugly head.

I'm find it hard to like Kirsten. Its a one way street with her. He has to win her over while she barely lifts a finger and criticizes who he is. In her mind she has arrived. At some point Shaquille has to evaluate if she is worthy of living with. He needs to make it a two way street. 

Dull season. First time the previews don't look compelling.

 

 

[Jade Foxx]

On 3/15/2023 at 6:26 PM, Straycat80 said:

Clint and Gina are at least showing promise

Whatever happened to the SHOCKING previews of Dom kissing Clint??? Remember that?

[princelina]

On 3/15/2023 at 10:15 PM, Katie111 said:

Arris wants sex to mean something but yet he had a one night stand the night before he was chosen.  He is so full of BS.  And he acts like she can’t get enough of him. I haven’t seen any signs that she’s head over heels for him.  She seems very indifferent but at least willing to try.  
 

Kirsten is just so surface level, she has zero depth.  She just wants to sit around all the time and talk about nothing. No think Shaw is bored by her so he is avoiding her.  He wants to spend time with her family & friends because he is trying to see if she has any pulse at all.  

Airris is a pig.  All she has said is that she finds him attractive, and she acts like she wants to be married.  He can't do either of those things but acts like she's lying in wait to jump his bones the minute his guard is down.

I think Shaq is beginning to realize there is nothing there with Kirsten.  She just wants him to sit around the house trying to cuddle with her and asking her about herself all the day; that MIGHT put her in the mood to give him a little smooch.  She needs an old guy who has the time to sit around drinking wine and staring at her.  A young guy with goals and a life to lead doesn't have the time for that 😄

22 hours ago, Bees52 said:

So, are Chris and Nicole the model couple of the remaining four? They're trying to take on the therapist roles to assess and help all the other couples reach their level of success. Not sure if it's helpful of Nicole to ask so many questions, or if she's just being nosey.

She's doing as she's told by production.  I don't think he needs "big dick energy" - it's fine if he's a beta.  What he could do is make some nice compliments to her - I think she'd love that.  (Meanwhile, even if she has to be the intrusive questioner, she doesn't have to do the embarrassing sex questions - she's got old Orgy Airris to take care of that! 🙄)

[endure]

23 hours ago, Blissfool said:

What Jasmin really needs is a visit to the optometrist because I don't  understand what she can possibly see attractive in Airris.

 

It's gonna be so sad to separate Clint and Hank if the marriage doesn't work out.

They live in the same building so no doubt they will remain buddies, maybe go for walks together while Gina’s busy at work.  I doubt Clint and Gina will be married long term but maybe friends.

[endure]

4 hours ago, kristen111 said:

I have no idea why experts picked Kirsten.  After all these weeks, they are still in Square one.  She talks and talks, but I don’t think she even knows what she’s talking about.  If I was him, I would split.  She’s a waste of time.

Im liking Clint and Gina more and more.  They just might make it.

Yet she seems to be thinking long term when she demanded he buy her a house, even he thought WTF 😳