S14.E08: Striking a Balance

[Rightside]

1 hour ago, TeapotWakeen said:

We know he has been a caregiver for his mother and his grandmother. That can really cut into one's ability to work regular, steady hours at a strictly 9-5 job (she says, from experience). It could be that the job he has now allows him the flexibility to take care of his grandmother's needs (I think his mother lives in an institution?) for health care, personal care, home-based needs, etc. Lindsay doesn't listen well enough to hear what MTS may or may not have done to help take care of loved ones.

Mark is priceless for being the caregiver for his mother and grandmother. How a man treats his mother tells you everything.

It is hard enough handling care for one person much less two. I give him all the credit in the world.

Isn't he an only child?

Edited February 25, 2022 by Rightside

[kikicat]

23 hours ago, rebel2u said:

When you mentioned Steve draining his noodle(s), my mind went elsewhere.

Manicotti or...macaroni?

[cardigirl]

34 minutes ago, Racj82 said:

Well you would be wrong about that regarding wages. I barely know anyone making 65k or above. But, I know plenty people that are not broke, comfortable, good homes, happy but live under that salary. Because it's not broke. That's all I'm saying. It wasn't something to bag on Mark or anyone about and that was my point. It's the nasty part of Lyndsey I can't stand.

Single income for a family in Boston area? 
 I guess we'll have to disagree about what a "good" income is. 

[Kira53]

12 hours ago, kristen111 said:

I haven’t read all the comments yet.  Steve & Noi ..  Is Steve going to get a job and support the family or what?  What’s the delay, and why is he not answering?

 

Married 10 days.  That’s the delay.

[NoWhammies]

11 hours ago, Racj82 said:

He freelances and has savings. He makes money. He has no interest in getting back into daily 9 to 5 grind. He wants to make money on his own terms. Something that bothers Noi because she's rigid about structure. It's a non issue. At least, if he has an actual plan for instead of just shrugging and saying we will see what happens.

This. This is what I do. I arrived at a similar path after being laid off as a creative in 2008. I freelanced and worked hours on my time. I was able to do just fine and be there for my kids as they grew up. I never missed a game or a concert or any other activity. I did my work while they were in school. It suited me. If I needed more money, I took on more work. I set aside a portion for taxes and savings. It is a valid lifestyle and choice. I still work this way--and I work hard--so I can enjoy life and spend more time doing things that bring joy and value into my life. Some people aren't 9 to 5ers, and they can still make a decent living working in nontraditional ways. I don't consider myself unemployed. I consider myself an independent contractor. 

Edited February 25, 2022 by NoWhammies

[Racj82]

1 minute ago, NoWhammies said:

This. This is what I do. I arrived at a similar path after being laid off as a creative in 2008. I freelanced and worked hours on my time. I was able to do just fine and be there for my kids as they grew up. I never missed a game or a concert or any other activity. I did my work while they were in school. It suited me. If I needed more money, I took on more work. I set aside a portion for taxes and savings. It is a valid lifestyle and choice. I still work this way--and I work hard--so I can enjoy life and spend more time doing things that bring joy and value into my life. Some people aren't 9 to 5ers, and they can still make a decent living working in nontraditional ways. I don't consider myself unemployed. I consider myself an independent contractor. 

There you go. 

I totally understand the fear of a situation like that. On the outside looking in, it sounds shakey and unreliable. But, every profession is different. A lot of people are learning to work from home now. People are also tired of the grind.

If he can make it work, there is nothing wrong with it. He seems secure, logical and clear headed. I hope she doesn't let this issue in itself tank them.

[TeacherWoman]

I have a fantastic idea for future seasons of MAFS.

Along the lines of fact-checkers, in the matching process they should have match-checkers.  There are many, many invested forum posters who could watch the entire process by the experts and call bullshit where needed.  I, for one, would gladly tell them they are out of their damned minds when needed.

This would be an interesting twist to a slightly stale series.

[kikicat]

12 hours ago, Racj82 said:

Mark is not wimp. He just doesn't like handling conversations or disagreements the way Lyndsey does. I'm tired of defending Mark at this point but I feel like a lot of this is gendered. When they say he might be afraid her, they are talking about the verbal abuse and insults he gets. Something he does not want to and shouldn't have to deal with.

Agreed. I don't think Mark is a wimp. He does seem kind of sensitive, I guess? Not a bad thing, IMO. He's a caring guy with tender feelings who doesn't like to be the center of attention. No match for loud, brash Lindsey. It's too bad because at times they did seem to be good for each other.

Her bathroom rant was so ugly and cruel. As a sensitive soul myself, I wouldn't be giving someone like that a second or third chance even though apparently Mark does in the next episode. I wonder if he heard everything she said?

Lindsey's the shark in this relationship. I really don't understand how Mark got that nickname!

[Gypsy Blue]

48 minutes ago, NoWhammies said:

It is a valid lifestyle and choice. I still work this way--and I work hard--so I can enjoy life and spend more time doing things that bring joy and value into my life. Some people aren't 9 to 5ers, and they can still make a decent living working in nontraditional ways. I don't consider myself unemployed. I consider myself an independent contractor. 

I did the same thing.  I made more money than working a traditional job, had flexible hours, and could work more or less for whatever I needed at the time.  I already had retirement and owned my home.  I did it for six years and I made more during that time than I have at any other point in my life.  In the end, I went back to working a regular job, primarily because I like stability better, and I don't have to work out my own taxes and insurance.

It certainly doesn't mean you're lazy or can't support a family or have money saved up.  It's not for everyone, but it is definitely a valid way to make a living.

The only thing that concerns me is that he, and the show, keep referring to it as "unemployed."  To be honest though, it would be tricky for him to start a job right now.  "Yeah, I'm going to have to take some time off so I can be on a reality show where I married a stranger at first sight."  I'm not sure how many employers would be cool with that or want to hire someone knowing that.

Are they not getting paid to be on the show?

[rebel2u]

On 2/23/2022 at 10:46 PM, Mr. Miner said:

I’m afraid MTS is going to take a big anger dump in the new apartment.

Thanks for the biggest laugh I've had all week!

[Jeanne222]

I couldn't stay with a spouse that has said just the worse things.

How defeated Mark must feel as she shouts these things.

[pinguina]

I very rarely comment on this show but after last season (0/5) and watching this season - what is wrong with the "judges" who match up these couples??  They seem to really match up people who don't have anything in common.  I have a cousin who married someone that we all thought - WHAT????  Mostly because of the way he looked and how he talked (I know, pretty judgmental of us!).  He also had some interests that we knew she would not choose to participate in.  However, as time has passed and getting to know him, we realize that they have the same outlook on what a marriage should be (to them), raising children, finances, and their faith.  They also value family, commitment, and each other.  So despite that at first sight, they seem to have nothing to sustain a marriage in reality they have the important things needed in a marriage. 

These couples don't seem to have even basic beliefs in common which I think is important in a marriage.  They seem to not even respect each other - case in point Mark and Lindsey, Alyssa (not Chris, he came off as respectful, diplomatic, and kind), Michael and Jasmine.  It doesn't even seem as they can be courteous with each other for an extended length of time.  I feel badly for them all (except Alyssa, I think she's delusional) because it seemed they all came in with a hopeful attitude but unrealistic ideas/goals/expectations.

Also - if a marriage only lasted ten days and not consummated is it really divorce or an annulment?

[Gypsy Blue]

9 minutes ago, pinguina said:

Also - if a marriage only lasted ten days and not consummated is it really divorce or an annulment?

It depends on state law, but for most consummating (or lack thereof) is not grounds for an annulment.

[StatisticalOutlier]

8 hours ago, Racj82 said:

I heard the number 65k being thrown around for Mark.

For the record, in her bathroom rant, Lindsey said he makes "60 thousand" selling gym memberships.  I remember him being described as managing a gym earlier in the season (I noticed this because from the chest up he looks like a gym rat, but oof, that belly).

And a tidbit from the after show:  Chris said he did exactly the same thing Steve did--he got laid off by an education company (which makes me remember that his friends call him "Professor") and used his severance to drive around New England and Canada for two months, sleeping in the back of his Explorer.

There have been comments here speculating that Steve is doing freelance work, but on the aftershow, he made it clear he's not currently working.  He even asked why the title of "currently employed" (he used air quotes) is so important--he says he has "enough to take care of us."  I'd be real interested in knowing what he considers "enough."  Although I'm not sure Noi would ever be comfortable without actual cash money flowing in every month, preferably from an actual job.

I have a friend who is terrified of dogs, and whenever she encounters one, you can see it on her face.  And I swear I see the same look on Noi's face when they talk about Steve not having a job.  What's funny is that one of his friends said his company is always hiring sales engineers, no doubt as a way to illustrate Steve's employability, but Noi's take was the opposite--she couldn't understand why he doesn't have one of those jobs right now.

Also, Chris articulated what I'd said about Alyssa--that yes, she was trying, but she wasn't trying at the right thing, i.e., the marriage.  I noticed something similar with Lindsey.  At the bowling alley, Mark was telling her that it was awkward when she started provoking Katina because she knew how Katina would react, and she asked who he was there for, and he said he was there for her but that when she does stuff like this when they're together, it makes him uncomfortable.  She continued to defend her actions, saying she can't just brush stuff under the rug, and Mark said that they are a team, and if she can't get that, it's not gonna work.

She immediately jumped into "I'm being a team for you in all your chaos."  How she took a day off work and put on a hazmat suit to clean out his apartment.  All of which is true, but it has zero to do with what was at issue right then--Mark saying that her picking a fight with Katina makes him uncomfortable.

If you asked Alyssa if she was trying, she would honestly say, "Yes."  And if you asked Lindsey if she was being a team player with Mark, she would honestly say, "Yes."  And they'd both be wrong because they're ignoring the specifics.

[Desert Rat]

23 hours ago, Adeejay said:

 However, I find Katina to be equally problematic. She is rude af. She started that fight. Every time Lindsey said something, she rolled her eyes. Everyone is not going to like you, that is to be expected. However, she has had it out for Lindsey since that incident on the plane. The fact that she is besties with Alyssa has me side eying her ass.

I think Katina's bad behavior will escalate now that she's learned her husband prefers white women. Maybe Olijahan would prefer to be with Lindsay, a blonde, and that pisses Katina off, hence why she picks so many fights. Olijahan gives Lindsey a lot of attention which makes me think deep down he has the hots for her. It's the middle school game of pretending not to like the person you secretly like. 

Edited February 25, 2022 by Desert Rat

[Racj82]

7 minutes ago, Desert Rat said:

I think Katina's bad behavior will escalate now that she's learned her husband prefers white women. 

That wasn't new information for her. She also didn't seem to care. It will escalate. But that is because even on the afterparty she still doesn't like her so its not going to get better.

[Yeah No]

23 hours ago, Adeejay said:

I don't particularly care for Lindsey. She is blunt and crass; has no filter and can't read a room. However, I find Katina to be equally problematic. She is rude af. She started that fight. Every time Lindsey said something, she rolled her eyes. Everyone is not going to like you, that is to be expected. However, she has had it out for Lindsey since that incident on the plane. The fact that she is besties with Alyssa has me side eying her ass. While Ola will stand up for his "wifey", Mark appears to be afraid to do the same. 

Thank you, that's exactly how I see it.  It doesn't even matter if Lindsey should have said anything to Katina or not, it's that Mark should have supported her, not made the others think he's against her.  And knowing that Katina was instigating here he should have said something to HER first, and then take up Lindsey's reaction with her later on after they got home.  Like he should have asked Katina to please not make things worse.  That's all it would have taken.  In situations like that a united front would go a long way to showing someone like Katina that someone with a backbone is defending Lindsey and maybe she'd better think twice before doing it again.  Mark is intimidated by Ola and Katina but that's his problem.  I know they wouldn't intimidate my husband.  In 41 years he has never left me hanging in public like that when someone has dissed me even if I reacted to it.  I could see Mark doing that if she were clearly being ridiculous and offensive, but not this time.

Lindsey has a point that she has stood by Mark even through all of his apartment shit and he can't even support her when someone disrespects her like that?  I also think the editing was doing its best to make Lindsey's comments about relationships look stupid, when actually they were NOT.  Perhaps the people she was talking to didn't really care to hear it, and she may have not read the room accurately before saying it, but her comments certainly weren't ridiculous or stupid because Katina is NO expert on relationships despite what she seems to think.  But I thought the show really wanted Lindsay to look ridiculous and stupid.  Plus, it is clear that Lindsey has her issues but we STILL never really saw what happened between her, Ola and Katina on the plane weeks ago that started all of this and I am still side eyeing why the show did that.  I am thinking even more now that the show is trying to make Lindsey look worse by doing stuff like that.  And they know that because of the way she seems the audience will buy it.

[Tunia]

15 hours ago, Racj82 said:

He freelances and has savings. He makes money. He has no interest in getting back into daily 9 to 5 grind. He wants to make money on his own terms. Something that bothers Noi because she's rigid about structure. It's a non issue. At least, if he has an actual plan for instead of just shrugging and saying we will see what happens.

I suspect that a good part of Noi's concern ever Steve's freelance style may be the lack of concrete stability, the lack of a base to his employment that would provide such things as maternity benefits, medical plans, etc. that she doesn't want to be responsible for providing long term.  She wants those three kids - "no compromise".  Maybe she has unexpressed thoughts of someday being a SAHM, and that would require a more grounded employment for Steve.

16 hours ago, OFDgal said:

 Candlepin bowling is the bowling we all grew up with in Boston.  It's more difficult than the larger balls but is easier for kids.  Most bowling alleys have large and candlepin alleys.  It's a regional thing and I didn't realize it was exclusive to us until I had friends from out of state point it out!

A great advantage of candlepin bowling is that it doesn't screw up those $50 manicures!  You can't put gel or acrylic nails into the holes of a traditional bowling bowl without doing serious damage to those nails.  They'll snap with the first release.  All the MAFS women still have their wedding nails intact.

[Yeah No]

17 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

For fun, let’s look at it another way. What if Steve is very rich? As in he may never need to work another day in his life if he chooses not to. I’ve heard lots of men with money say they want a woman to love them for who he is, not for what he has. He may have very deep pockets, but chooses to live in a non-monetary way to avoid gold diggers and ladies who are free spenders and in it just for the security. Once he is assured that she is there for the right reasons, then he may disclose the truth about his financial situation. 

I might be able to look at it that way if I knew he had tons of money, but if that's the case he still hasn't reassured her enough.  He doesn't have to tell her he has a lot of money, just make comments like, "Don't worry I will be able to keep this lifestyle and we will still be able to afford everything we want anyway".  That's all it would take for now.  He should know how it would look to someone that just met him and adjust what he says to help them out.  Instead he digs his heels in about his "lifestyle" like that's what she's against.  It's not - her problem is worrying about financial security.  I don't think she would care if he took time off if she knew he had that much money saved up.  He wasn't addressing the real issue.  Also, if he really had that much money I don't know if he would have reacted that way.

[Yeah No]

11 hours ago, Racj82 said:

Judging by Lyndsey's living conditions I wouldn't say that regarding income. At least, it's not THAT much more.

I heard the number 65k being thrown around for Mark. Come on now. I know that it must be more expensive living in a city like theirs but what amounts to being broke and in good standing has been seriously fucked with these days. Six figures or near six futures is not the norm. 

I think Lindsey does make that much more judging from her apt. and the area, etc.   Six figures is the norm. there, believe me, even in CT it is.  I made more than Mark 6 years ago as an Exec. Assistant.  This is not the South.

Edited February 25, 2022 by Yeah No

[Yeah No]

9 hours ago, Racj82 said:

That's good for you. That doesn't mean that's the average or the norm. Area be damned. Especially depending on the job. Obviously he isn't crushing it, he had a roommate. But, expectations for salary needs to be tempered. Expecting someone to make six figures is ridiculous no matter where you live. Mocking someone for making under that is bullshit. Mocking anyone's income is bullshit. I know these people just met but shaming him for making a decent salary is still fucked. I'm also sure if the tables were turned he would never do that her. He's not like that and its fun to judge and ridicule a man's salary but people rarely do that to women. It's hard out there. For a lot of people.

I think the real issue for Lindsey is not primarily Mark's salary.  It's that she already feels like she's caretaking him with all of his yucky apartment issues, of which I get the feeling there are more of than we've been told, and having had a double dose of that situation right from day one, she sees him as someone that doesn't have his shit together to manage his own life too well without someone to support him, both emotionally and financially.  I think she feels like she's in a good place in life with regard to where she lives and her career/income and he is not.   I really don't know if that's an accurate or fair perception of him but honestly the more the weeks go on the more I'm seeing that she may indeed have a point. 

[Yeah No]

7 hours ago, cardigirl said:

I wasn't trying to ridicule anyone, just saying that anyone over 35 would not consider $65 grand a year an excellent wage. Not in the Boston area.  If I were living in the Midwest still, it would be above average. But he's what, 37?  That's not enough, around here, to support a family.

And no, Lindsey should not ridicule him for what he does for a living. (What does he do?) She hits below the belt and it will take a lot of apology and self-awareness on her part to change anyone's mind about her. 

Mark just doesn't seem ambitious to me. Whether or not that's important to anyone else, it may have been important to Lindsey.  

I totally agree.  It's not enough to live on alone either and even with a roommate not even a nice apartment.  Interestingly one of the big areas they seem to like to match people on this show is on similar levels of ambition.  They might have compromised on that with Mark and Lindsey.  But actually if you listened to her bathroom rant, Lindsey was saying that she has supported and accepted Mark despite his income and life issues, like she was willing to forego a more together, ambitious man with more money for Mark because she really cared about him and went out of her way to have his back when he needed help.  Like that monetary stuff didn't even matter to her.  I think the reason she turned and got ugly about it is because she felt like he was mortally betraying her by not supporting her in the Katina situation.  Once Lindsey feels that someone has turned on her she will go for the jugular.  While I sympathize with some of how she feels about Mark I don't agree with the way she reacts to retaliate all the time.  Plus she needs to see his point of view too.  Chris was right about the impulse control with her.  She can ruin relationships with her inability to control her emotions.  And I'm sure she's ruined a few!

[Lindz]

On 2/23/2022 at 5:40 PM, Straycat80 said:

Wow, Alyssa lying to her friend. I’m glad they are showing clips of how things really were. Bitch. 

The editors playing clips after each of her LIES was HILARIOUS!!!!! Alyssa said they didn't get to have any real conversations with each other because it was a really small resort & everyone knew where she was at all times & if he wanted to talk he could've found her. Editors: cue Alyssa refusing to talk to Chris footage! Alyssa said she didn't see any effort from Chris. Editors: cue Chris groveling for crumbs! 😂😂

[Lindz]

Then they aired a producer asking Alyssa what's next & her dumbass said she's packing up & moving to TX, but will talk to her psychic 1st. UGH! I HATE that they gave her more airtime, but I see why. She's so ridiculous! They probably would've aired anything she said though. 😒😒 Welp. She's too late for MAFS Houston or Dallas. That leaves... Austin... 2026? 😅

Edited February 25, 2022 by Lindz

[Lindz]

On 2/23/2022 at 6:01 PM, Mindthinkr said:

Who’s house would y’all rather eat at? Tacos, pizza or Asian food? 

You forgot the chicken... that Katina made! 😉😂

[Lindz]

On 2/23/2022 at 6:39 PM, candall said:

Yeow.  That "social media post" was brutal.

So. IMMATURE!!!! So big & bad on the internet. Did she go home & say that to his FACE?!!! The PUNK! She was very disappointing. Her behavior was wholly inappropriate & Steve had to call her out as she sat there looking like a stupid kid. MESSY!!!! I didn't even understand what was so offensive about Steve handling the damn noodles! Why are these people so damn sensitive, looking for anything to be offended by their spouse doing?!!! It doesn't make sense. Like. I get it. A lot of people don't praise or compliment or express gratitude openly, but are quick to criticize, but cursing & leaving & ignoring him for 24 hours without ANY information was SO WRONG & DISGUSTING! He came out looking so much better than her because of her childish reaction. & what did she think was gunna happen when she waltzed back in their apartment?!!! I can't STAND when people EFF up & don't even acknowledge it the next time they reach out. Like. Bitch!!! You got something you need to apologize for, RIGHT?!!?!! 😂😂

Edited February 25, 2022 by Lindz

[rebel2u]

23 hours ago, Ms.C. said:

I’m feeling a little sorry for Lindsey.  I wonder if she has mood swings?  Bipolar?  
Noi is beginning to annoy me.  She’s so immature. She’s lucky to have Steve who is revealing more maturity each week.  

Katina and Olajawon’s friend make a nice looking couple. Shut my mouth!

I'm seeing things a little differently.  Lindsey on an everyday basis is outgoing and has strong opinions about things.  It's not a bad way to be, but it seems (to me) that her personality is such that, in finding a life partner, it might be better and more successful for her to meet a man, date him, get to know him and get married to someone who knows what he's getting.  Springing her on an unsuspecting future life partner who is a little uncomfortable with her outspokenness (like Mark) seems a recipe for disaster.  Her rant in the bathroom where she complained about  (ahem) Mark's ability to satisfy (or not satisfy) her and her comment about (again, ahem) his physicality seem the words of a drunk.  Harsh to say, but the tone, the complaints that are too personal to say in public and her histrionics, all seen to point to a major need to cut way down on the alcohol.  I personally feel bad for Mark.  I think he was looking forward to being married and was willing to be flexible and compromising with his partner.  I also think he was matched with someone who was way more outspoken in ways that he thought were inappropriate and who was "on" and whose energy level was more than he was comfortable with.

Someone, I think maybe @Racj82, said that he thought that the producers made the matches and then the "experts" had to justify (my word, not his) how they chose who they did. (My apologies, @Racj82, if it wasn't you or if it was and I quoted you incorrectly).  The more I watch this show, the more I think this may be true.  It's like the "experts" might say, "She's really shy, but his boisterous personality will bring her out of her shell!"  Uhhh--no?   Maybe it's good on paper but not in the real world where personalities get in the way of the traits that the "experts" use to match people. 

I honestly wonder why people apply to be on this show.  The success rates are not that great. And it seems to me that of the couples that do make it have at least one of the couple determined to make it work and goes "all in."  I'm thinking of Doug (of Doug and Jamie) and Stephanie of (Stephanie and AJ.)  Both of them were like, this is my spouse and I will make it work.  Without at least one of the couple having this attitude, I don't think the marriage will last.

It's also so funny to me how the "contestants" tell their families that the "experts" found "the perfect match" for them.  Well, maybe not the perfect match, but the (probably) best match of the people who applied and the people that the producers selected.  It seems not unlike, on a smaller scale, having people show up at a bar after seeing a flyer inviting them to find a romantic partner.  They end up being matched not with their best partner but the best partner that happened to be at the bar that night, 

I've been thinking about how they choose the couples for a while and it feels good to actually say it!

Wow, long post!

Thoughts from others on how the couples are matched?

 

Edited February 25, 2022 by rebel2u

[Lindz]

19 hours ago, Racj82 said:

The Lindsey incident is producer driven in that the producers knew that going to "console" her drunk ass was going to give them audio gold.

Well. Also. No other wives were going to check on her. Mark had Chris. He won't anymore, not in person anyway. Now they'll both only have producers to talk to who will try to get usable content instead of resolve their issue. 😒😒 I wonder how long she was alone in the bathroom, silent. 😅

[ByTor]

7 hours ago, Gypsy Blue said:

The only thing that concerns me is that he, and the show, keep referring to it as "unemployed." 

Exactly. I don't know where people are getting it from that he freelances, I never heard him say that. But if he did say it and I missed it (totally could have), then why is he saying that he's not working? Because he doesn't currently have any clients? Either way, I don't blame Noi for being nervous. Yes, he can always get a job or always get a client, but is he trying to? Does he even want to? I think that's the major point, and I don't think Noi not liking it makes her spoiled brat.

5 hours ago, Yeah No said:

knowing that Katina was instigating here he should have said something to HER first, and then take up Lindsey's reaction with her later on after they got home.  Like he should have asked Katina to please not make things worse.

THIS!

Also,I saw that someone posted that a friend finds Olajuwon to be a butterface. I think he's a cutie. And maybe HE should have been paired with Alyssa...I noticed during this episode that he has a great smile with perfect teeth!

[Lindz]

It's disappointing how incapable Michael & Jasmina were. They were seriously wasting days hung up their honeymoon conflicts & their solution was to avoid resolving it, yet let it make them tense, & wait til PC "fixed" it for them?!?!!!! SERIOUSLY?!!! COME ON! It's so pathetic. They're adults. They should've figured it out. Waiting for their expert visit is so lazy. That's not marriage. It seems like a crutch they rely on instead of doing the work.

[Lindz]

Things Noi is rigid on: 3 kids. Employment. Attractive. Soooooooo attractive! 😉😂

[LennieBriscoe]

10 hours ago, kikicat said:

Manicotti or...macaroni?

God forfend ditalini! 😅 

I think that not only did Lindsey's rant go beyond the relationship pale, but also that the show's decision to air it went beyond the normal reality TV pale.

Whatever good qualities Mark might see in Lindsey, he needs to choose divorce when the date arrives. 

She hits below the belt. 

 

Edited February 25, 2022 by LennieBriscoe

[Lindz]

On 2/23/2022 at 6:54 PM, Mindthinkr said:

Lindsey does not like Ice. She’s got her number. 

Lindsey smiling after Alyssa said she tried was hilarious!

[Lindz]

It seems both Noi & Lindsey blew up over perceived criticism without gratitude/appreciation/praise. 🤔 They reacted poorly to the poorly worded things that were said to them. 😖

[Lindz]

I'm glad O & Kat are still waiting to consummate their marriage. 😂😂

[Lindz]

Chris & Alyssa shouldn't have been at the bowling thing. The other couples could've found out another way Chris requested a divorce. Like with Mindy & Zach. Say it's over, have a party, NO MORE AIRTIME! Alyssa shouldn't have been allowed to film with them since that's all she wants! Did we even see Zach after he took his pants & his dog & left "their" apartment? 😂😂

[Straycat80]

12 minutes ago, Lindz said:

Chris & Alyssa shouldn't have been at the bowling thing. The other couples could've found out another way Chris requested a divorce. Like with Mindy & Zach. Say it's over, have a party, NO MORE AIRTIME! Alyssa shouldn't have been allowed to film with them since that's all she wants! Did we even see Zach after he took his pants & his dog & left "their" apartment? 😂😂

I’ll bet the couples knew already. They are all living in the same apartment building. You don’t think when the cameras and crew are gone they aren’t running back and forth to each other’s apartments gossiping. And the crew might have told them some stuff on the sly too. 

[seacliffsal]

I think that part of the problem with Lindsey and Mark is that Mark immediately presented his nickname of "Mark the Shark" which is tremendously misleading.  Perhaps Lindsey thought that Mark was as aggressive as she and therefore they would be a great couple or that he would at least have her back in public.  The Katina/Lindsey interaction at bowling wasn't horrible but when Mark took her aside to speak with her it made it look more like a parent chastising a child. Do I think Lindsey overreacts?  Absolutely.  But I also think Mark gave himself a nickname thinking it gave him some credibility but the reality is there is absolutely no connection between him and his nickname.  Nicknames do convey things about a person; made up ones less so.

[Jeanne222]

Katinas voice gives me the willies!  It's not low and sexy.  It's just odd coming from a beautiful, feminine woman!

It's like a man's voice in a woman!

[JenE4]

11 minutes ago, seacliffsal said:

I think that part of the problem with Lindsey and Mark is that Mark immediately presented his nickname of "Mark the Shark" which is tremendously misleading.  Perhaps Lindsey thought that Mark was as aggressive as she and therefore they would be a great couple or that he would at least have her back in public.  The Katina/Lindsey interaction at bowling wasn't horrible but when Mark took her aside to speak with her it made it look more like a parent chastising a child. Do I think Lindsey overreacts?  Absolutely.  But I also think Mark gave himself a nickname thinking it gave him some credibility but the reality is there is absolutely no connection between him and his nickname.  Nicknames do convey things about a person; made up ones less so.

Mark and his buddies explained that “Mark the Shark” was his nickname from (presumably when he was younger??) and he aggressively hit on girls at the beach. They said he would go up and down the beach circling the girls like prey to talk to them. I imagine him being like The Situation on Jersey Shore back in the day. I think he’s a solid decade past his prime in that regard. That being said, he’s used to his prey being some colorful tropical fish or something—he wasn’t ready for Lindsey the Barracuda.

[Racj82]

17 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I think Lindsey does make that much more judging from her apt. and the area, etc.   Six figures is the norm. there, believe me, even in CT it is.  I made more than Mark 6 years ago as an Exec. Assistant.  This is not the South.

I didn't say it was. I live in New Jersey. I live in the east. Money goes further in Boston than it does in the nj. NJ is crazy expensive to live in. I make less than Mark seems to while i live in my own townhouse, have no debt, have savings in the bank, save money every month, never miss a bill and never struggle for money. Im also not rich by any means. Never have been. I see the world. I understand the struggle. Six figures is not the norm in any state of the country. Certain areas in certain states. Sure. But, that's splitting hairs. 

This is also keeps missing my point that it's nothing to drag him for. Not everyone can make six figures.  A lot more people make less than that. A lot less than some people seem to think.

Also, what you make doesn't really mean anything. How you spend, save, manage your money matters a lot more than your salary. 

Just looking it up, the average salary for a single person in Boston is 77k. The 75th percentile is 79k. The 25th percentile is 53k.

From 2015 to 2019 the median household income was 71k. 

I've been talking about just what Mark makes on his own this whole time.

So, again I say, it wasn't anything to drag him about.

 

Edited February 26, 2022 by Racj82

[Racj82]

1 hour ago, seacliffsal said:

I think that part of the problem with Lindsey and Mark is that Mark immediately presented his nickname of "Mark the Shark" which is tremendously misleading.  Perhaps Lindsey thought that Mark was as aggressive as she and therefore they would be a great couple or that he would at least have her back in public.  The Katina/Lindsey interaction at bowling wasn't horrible but when Mark took her aside to speak with her it made it look more like a parent chastising a child. Do I think Lindsey overreacts?  Absolutely.  But I also think Mark gave himself a nickname thinking it gave him some credibility but the reality is there is absolutely no connection between him and his nickname.  Nicknames do convey things about a person; made up ones less so.

I mean, she knows who he is by now so it doesn't really matter. He has express who he truly is and she's not going to change. So, it's a mismatch.

3 hours ago, ByTor said:

Exactly. I don't know where people are getting it from that he freelances, I never heard him say that. But if he did say it and I missed it (totally could have), then why is he saying that he's not working? Because he doesn't currently have any clients? Either way, I don't blame Noi for being nervous. Yes, he can always get a job or always get a client, but is he trying to? Does he even want to? I think that's the major point, and I don't think Noi not liking it makes her spoiled brat.

He is not saying he's unemployed. Other people keep saying that. He's self employed and he has said that many times. He just sets up his own schedule with connections he has made. He works. He hasn't been unemployed for a while. That is not the issue. The issue is Noi feeling that this is not a proper or logical way to make money and provide.

[ByTor]

11 minutes ago, Racj82 said:

He is not saying he's unemployed.

On the show this past week, he said more than once that he is unemployed.

[Racj82]

14 minutes ago, ByTor said:

On the show this past week, he said more than once that he is unemployed.

He unemployed in that he's not employed by a certain company. He's not working for anyone. 

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, Racj82 said:

I didn't say it was. I live in New Jersey. I live in the east. Money goes further in Boston than it does in the nj. NJ is crazy expensive to live in. 

I strongly disagree with you based on facts, but since that is not the subject matter of this thread, I am posting links to those facts in the small talk thread.

43 minutes ago, Racj82 said:

He unemployed in that he's not employed by a certain company. He's not working for anyone. 

If Steve is not working right now, he is technically unemployed even though he considers himself self-employed generally speaking.

Edited February 25, 2022 by Yeah No
link correction

[Racj82]

28 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

I strongly disagree with you based on facts, but since that is not the subject matter of this thread, I am posting links to those facts in the small talk thread.

If Steve is not working right now, he is technically unemployed even though he considers himself self-employed generally speaking.

I'll just say Jersey can be very expensive and leave it at that. Even some of the smaller towns.

The bottom line is that Steve still makes money. He does it doing the same profession he was doing before he got laid off. He's just not working for everyone. If he can get a good structure and rthym going he will be fine. He doesn't have to work for anyone. Its just that for Noi, that is important and safer.

He works but doesn't have a job basically. But, it's a binary way of looking at it. Because things have changed a lot over the years in terms of how people make their income.

Edited February 25, 2022 by Racj82

[kristen111]

17 hours ago, gingerandcloves said:

Except that in this case, the experts knew about Noi's childhood, and her financial struggles growing up, and that security was going to be #1 for her; they also knew that Steve was more of a free-spirit ("vagabond" if you will), so I think in this case it was possible to predict that there would be a clash. We see that they like to cast opposites under the guise of "balancing each other out" which is a pretty poor strategy.

So, actually it’s no big deal now.  They are married.  She should give it a chance for a few months and see if he gets a good paying job with benefits.  If not, she could always file for divorce.  In a few months or so, she will know if she loves him, and if he’s serious about a decent job and children.  This is all the experts fault.

[Yeah No]

19 minutes ago, Racj82 said:

I'll just say Jersey can be very expensive and leave it at that. Even some of the smaller towns.

The bottom line is that Steve still makes money. He does it doing the same profession he was doing before he got laid off. He's just not working for everyone. If he can get a good structure and rthym going he will be fine. He doesn't have to work for anyone. Its just that for Noi, that is important and safer.

He works but doesn't have a job basically. But, it's a binary way of looking at it. Because things have changed a lot over the years in terms of how people make their income.

Steve may make enough to support himself alone during the times he isn't actually working but is there enough money left to carry him through those times he isn't working to support his changed lifestyle and priorities now that he's married and looking to have a family?  I think that's the big question that Noi and the rest of us need answered.  And so far, Steve's not doing much to answer it, at least we haven't been shown it, and it looks like he hasn't told Noi either.

[Racj82]

42 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Steve may make enough to support himself alone during the times he isn't actually working but is there enough money left to carry him through those times he isn't working to support his changed lifestyle and priorities now that he's married and looking to have a family?  I think that's the big question that Noi and the rest of us need answered.  And so far, Steve's not doing much to answer it, at least we haven't been shown it, and it looks like he hasn't told Noi either.

Well, that's a lot of speculation. Either way, I don't think that anything Steve says or does will ease her mind other than him saying I got a job.

Edited February 25, 2022 by Racj82

[Yeah No]

1 minute ago, Racj82 said:

Well, that's a lot of speculation. Either way, I don't think that anything Steve says or does will ease her mind other than him saying I got a job.

I won't argue with you but I personally don't think Noi would be stressing so much over it if he told her point blank that he had a $1,000,000 in the bank.