S14.E08: Striking a Balance

[kristen111]

Enough with Lindsey and Mark. One week they are done .. the next week they’re back together.  Mark has to dump her ASAP, like Chris did.   It’s too much already.  The girl is a phycho.

[Rightside]

44 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

Enough with Lindsey and Mark. One week they are done .. the next week they’re back together. 

 Jamie and Beth were the same way, right?? For some reason, I think Lindsey and Mark are on that path and stay together.

Edited February 24, 2022 by Rightside

[Boo Boo]

15 hours ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

I’m a dinosaur and never understood why people think they have to put every fucking nuance and detail and feeling that they have on social media. 

i'm constantly amazed by the passive aggressive somebody-done-me-wrong posts.  If I were Steve, that post tells me all I need to know about decision day.

In my experience, the people that post those types of screeds, in addition to all of the self-help nonsense mantras are the people who are always a victim and never take any responsibility for their own shit.  

[Allison1]

It seems to me that there is a difference between being diagnosed with celiac disease and jumping on the gluten-free diet as a fad.  The former folks I take very seriously (which includes a good friend); the latter folks not so much. 

[qtpye]

17 hours ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Katina: What did you think of the dance?

Me: It was fucking tacky as hell.

 

17 hours ago, candall said:

Sorry.  My married-at-first-sight husband grinding on me at the wedding reception would not be okay.

Call me uptight.

I don't think it's something people actually "do."  It's just a joke about how much sex you have during your first year of marriage and how quickly that tapers off.

 

17 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

To me what was a bit OTT was the way he was grabbing his crotch while doing so. I don’t even want to think of why…but I have some guesses. 

 

17 hours ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Yeah, the grabbing of the testicles was a nice touch (heh) and very klassy.

Olaj thinks he is very smooth (like Woody from New Orleans, who actually had a charasmatic personality.) but it seems to me that he is very socially awkward. He also always wants to focus on his body, perhaps, because he is insecure about his face? I hope not but my friend did comment that he is a bit of a butterface.

16 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

I’m still bewildered that Alyssa had hoped to find a cowboy waiting for her at the end of the aisle. Granted, I haven’t spent much time in the northeast but I’m pretty sure it’s not a hotbed of cowboys and ranchers. 

Mr Feeney is so cute!

 

15 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

If Ace thinks the cowboys in Texas will be dying to meet her, she'll be sadly mistaken. 

Alyssa does not just hate Chris's looks. She is mortified that the show would ever think to marry her to a man that looks like him

This is what Alyssa wants. Actually, this is what she thinks she deserves. To her, this is a man that is in, what she thinks is her league. 

She really is the nicest person, ever!

15 hours ago, JenE4 said:

That was wild! She LEFT for 24 hours without word and blasting their marriage on social media because he drained his OWN noodles?! I guess she took, “These are getting soggy” as a personal affront? If you can’t handle criticism on your cooking without needing to escape from life, having three kids is probably not the best idea.

 

15 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Yeah I thought that too.  If he has a plan why isn't he talking about it?  I don't think he wants to share it, he just wants to do what he wants without it being a joint plan.  The fact that he's reacting defensively and not reassuring her is not a good sign either.  He keeps talking about how it "works for him", but it's not just him anymore and he doesn't seem to be getting that.  He's acting like Noi needs to accept this about him or maybe she's not for him.  I'd like to see ANY woman that would be all down with the way he's acting.  It's not even about him doing contract work, it's his attitude about it especially now that he's married.  He wants kids and yet doesn't see how his attitude doesn't work when you have a family to support.  She should pull the same crap on him and tell him she thinks maybe she needs to take some time off from work to find herself before having a family.  Let him see what it's like to have someone live off of him for a while.  I don't get the feeling he would like that.  Bad signs.....

 

14 hours ago, Yeah No said:

It's not about what he earns, but about his attitude toward finances.  Just based on what he has said I'm not finding his attitude very consistent with working as a team with Noi about financial planning.  He consistently sounds like someone that doesn't want to have to work with someone else on finances and just wants to be left alone to do his own thing.

 

3 hours ago, kristen111 said:

Noodlegate .. what the hell?  Noi got mad and walked out because Steve expected her to cook his noodles too?  Haha .. this marriage is going nowhere.  It’s not the noodles.  He doesn’t have a job, and that’s what is bothering her.

Jasmina, with only three girlfriends.  Who are they to criticize anything pertaining to Oljawan or whatever.  I don’t get this whole idea of friends coming over and criticizing their marriages.

Why is Alyssa still there and why is she fake crying to everyone?  Why are they keeping her on the show?

Jasminas chips and dips wasn’t enough for her three friends, but Katina knows how to food entertain.  Where’s there’s booze, there’s good food.

 

I think Steve would be happy to be a househusband, which is fine, for the right woman.

Noi is not that woman. Her friend said that she does not want to be the sole breadwinner for the family.

Jaimie Otis, from the first season, was also concerned about her husband's spotty career prospects. She is definitely the one who makes money in the family and once Doug's bad credit (which he kept a secret) kept them from getting a house.

I think Noi is childish. She probably does like Steve but does not like his philosophy toward work and that was what the fight was about...not the noodles. Everyone probably knows the real issue.

Finances are the number one marriage killers.

So again, the experts fucked up by matching two people who have very different attitudes towards working. Neither of them is wrong but it is just not a good match.

 

Edited February 24, 2022 by qtpye

[Mindthinkr]

I thought someone posted what Noi put on SM about Noodlegate. I can’t seem to find it. 
Can anyone help? 

[Crashcourse]

26 minutes ago, qtpye said:

This is what Alyssa wants. Actually, this is what she thinks she deserves. To her, this is a man that is in, what she thinks is her league. 

She really is the nicest person, ever!

Who dat? 😋

[Ilovepie]

14 hours ago, Racj82 said:

He didn't actually do any of that. They weren't next to the group when they had their discussion. The most he did was tell Lyndsey to drop the argument with Katina but he did it by whispering to her while with the group.  He was trying to stop a scene the whole time. Not causing one.

Lyndsey can be annoying as fuck but Katina needs to get over this shit. She doesn't have to be friends with her but outward disgust at everything Lyndsey says is just super immature.

Alyssa is so fucking lame. It's like Katina is Regina George from mean girls and she's trying desperately to be a part of the group. 

You just summed up my feelings exactly - every word you said! I can only guess how uncomfortable Mark was in that situation. Sitting there stressed out his wife is going to start something and then it happens - nightmare time. Lindsey is a crass loudmouth with zero social graces and an inability to read the room. I feel sorry for her because she is always going to be in conflict and have few friends because she constantly alienates everyone around her. Mark's snarky comment was just his frustration bubbling up. Lindsey seems to think because she is nice sometimes that entitles her to be a bitch when she is upset. It doesn't work that way. Her bathroom explosion was completely unhinged. I believe circumstances don't make you what you are, they reveal what you are, and she has been revealed to be crazy. MTS should follow in his pal Chris's footsteps and peace out.

Katina is a mean girl. Was Lindsey wrong? Of course. Everyone knows it and is on Katina's side. She doesn't need to be so pissy. It is very immature to not let it go. And with her little minion Alyssa chiming in, it was so Jr. High. Picking on the awkward social outcast is not cool.

Oh and Alyssa - Katina could give a crap about you. She is not your friend. You can leave now. And don't think moving to Texas is going to help you unless you change your name and entire look. The internet does exist there. Good luck after this shit show YOU created.

And Noi - another immature girl here. I cannot even fathom what happened there. Stomping off and then word vomiting your feelings on social media is so childish. I am glad Steve calmly told her off about it. That whole scene looked more like a dad lecturing his child. She deserved that set down for her behavior though. I really don't think she is ready for a big girl marriage if she thinks this is mature adult behavior. Ugh.

Jasmina and Mike had an ok week, but I can't shake the feeling that she is generally uptight and unpleasant. She seems so cold to me. Maybe it's just the way she has been edited, but her friend kind of confirmed it when she said she was a bossy know it all, so........

Once again, this season sucks. Things are going downhill when Olajuwon is the most level headed and mature one in the bunch........

[Sycophant4Lease]

16 hours ago, candall said:

Yeow.  That "social media post" was brutal.

NO!  What was brutal was Lindsey's public restroom, very loud, drunken, scorched earth (poor MTS) tirade.

She makes me laugh (but only with AlySSa).  But I couldn't deal with that.  Was married to one of those before (also a nurse).  And if I'd stayed, I'd either have a bleeding ulcer.  A drinking problem.  Or I'd be incarcerated for murder.

My current wife has shown me that marriage is NOT a bad thing.  Just that the previous version of my "picker" was faulty.  I needed to update my BIOS.

[Sycophant4Lease]

16 hours ago, CSunshine76 said:

No, Texas doesn’t want her!!!

No we don't.
 

I'm leaving Houston and moving to New England.

 

GO COWBOYS!!!

 

[candall]

7 minutes ago, qtpye said:

So again, the experts fucked up by matching two people who have very different attitudes towards working. Neither of them is wrong but it is just not a good match.

100%.  In fact, it makes me kind of mad.  Noi's family's refugee background is baked into her psyche--she's never going to be comfortable and relaxed with someone who has Steve's mindset regarding employment.

And it's unthinkable that Steve should harness himself into a miserable lifetime of 24/7 corporate grind so his wife's ingrained financial security concerns could be allayed.

Damn it, show.  You're not just screwing around with pairing a cautious eater and an adventurous foodie.  You've matched two people whose defining characteristics have no overlap.  It was cruel and manipulative for the "experts" to put them together and sit back to see which of them would break.

 

Grrr.

 

[Retired at last]

1 hour ago, qtpye said:

Finances are the number one marriage killers.

Maybe they need to hire Jose from last season to run an activity where they all develop their white boards?

[qtpye]

3 minutes ago, Retired at last said:

Maybe they need to hire Jose from last season to run an activity where they all develop their white boards?

Lol, since I have heard that Jose is divorced....probably not.

[Vanderboom]

1 hour ago, Mindthinkr said:

I thought someone posted what Noi put on SM about Noodlegate. I can’t seem to find it. 
Can anyone help? 

I wish these people could communicate like actual adults, but then again sensible people do not make good television.

 

[Retired at last]

I am still puzzled how the people get to post on SM. I really thought they had to go dark while filming. But, I guess not. I wonder if Alyssa will start her version of events on SM now. I would love to see some the comments she gets. I have a feeling she wouldn't get the "Poor you. You are such a good person and deserve so much better" comments she is expecting.

[Crashcourse]

Whatever, Noi.  🙄

If you had such a "vision" for your life and relationships, then why get matched with a stranger and go on a reality show?  Why not find your own mate yourself?

Edited February 24, 2022 by Crashcourse

[cardigirl]

Just now, Retired at last said:

I am still puzzled how the people get to post on SM. I really thought they had to go dark while filming. But, I guess not. I wonder if Alyssa will start her version of events on SM now. I would love to see some the comments she gets. I have a feeling she wouldn't get the "Poor you. You are such a good person and deserve so much better" comments she is expecting.

I think they have to keep their social media private, so only friends can see what they post. So she must have accepted Steve to follow her, and he can see her posts that way. It's only after the reunion show airs that they can open up their accounts, if they want to. 

[qtpye]

3 hours ago, Rightside said:

 Jamie and Beth were the same way, right?? For some reason, I think Lindsey and Mark are on that path and stay together.

I think the big difference between Jaimie/Beth and Mark/Lindsey is the following:

• Jaimie was extremely physically attracted to Beth. He almost swept her off her feet during their wedding kiss.  Mark seems like he is over Lindsey and probably no longer wants to continue the intimate parts of their relationship.
• Jaimie was well off financially. His earnings have allowed Beth to pursue a lot of high-risk careers, like Youtuber, etc. and I think that was part of the reason she stayed with him. Lindsey has already disparaged Marks's income and job. She probably makes more than him.

Edited February 24, 2022 by qtpye

[Racj82]

32 minutes ago, qtpye said:

I think the big difference between Jaimie/Beth and Mark/Lindsey is the following:

• Jaimie was extremely physically attracted to Beth. He almost swept her off her feet during their wedding kiss.  Mark seems like he is over Lindsey and probably no longer wants to continue the intimate parts of their relationship.
• Jaimie was well off financially. His earnings have allowed Beth to pursue a lot of high-risk careers, like Youtuber, etc. and I think that was part of the reason she stayed with him. Lindsey has already disparaged Marks's income and job. She probably makes more than him.

Judging by Lyndsey's living conditions I wouldn't say that regarding income. At least, it's not THAT much more.

I heard the number 65k being thrown around for Mark. Come on now. I know that it must be more expensive living in a city like theirs but what amounts to being broke and in good standing has been seriously fucked with these days. Six figures or near six futures is not the norm. 

[Mindthinkr]

1 hour ago, Vanderboom said:

I wish these people could communicate like actual adults, but then again sensible people do not make good television.

 

Thank you. SM is not the place to air your dirty laundry. 

[Ilovepie]

3 hours ago, Boo Boo said:

i'm constantly amazed by the passive aggressive somebody-done-me-wrong posts.  If I were Steve, that post tells me all I need to know about decision day.

It would be awesome if Steve in his decision day speech used the words of her post to explain why he is saying "no".......

[kristen111]

19 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

72, and never heard of this. I have to wonder where this is common!

Me too, and I still don’t get the penny thing.  Not that this has anything to do with this penny thing, but when the three kids were small, he bought a gigantic piggy bank and put all his loose change in the piggy when he came home from work.  Each February, he took all the change out which totaled almost $1,000 dollars, and used the money to car trip to Disney Florida.  That’s my penny plus story.

[seacliffsal]

It amazes me when some people claim they deserve such and such.  Why do you deserve it?  What have you done to deserve it and attain it?  This show really emphasizes how people can buy into a philosophy without any understanding of what it may actually mean.  Alyssa continues to tell anyone who will listen what she deserves.  Others also show this (I deserve to have you have my back no matter what, I deserve to not have to work [without any specifics about being able to get money when needed-just a 'trust me' attitude], etc.).  And they expect the "experts" to get them what they could not find for themselves.

I am always amazed how much food, drink, decorations some of these couples have when they have only invited 3-4 people over for their 'house warming.'

I still have hope for some of these couples, but they need to stop thinking about only their desires (or what they deserve...) and start thinking about compromises and supporting each other.

[cardigirl]

6 minutes ago, Racj82 said:

Judging by Lyndsey's living conditions I wouldn't say that regarding income. At least, it's not THAT much more.

I heard the number 65k being thrown around for Mark. Come on now. I know that it must be more expensive living in a city like theirs but what amounts to being broke and in good standing has been seriously fucked with these days. Six figures or near six futures is not the norm. 

In Boston, six figures are much easier to come by. If at his age, he's only making $65 grand, he isn't doing that well depending on what he does for a living. I make much more than that, plus all of my benefits, and I'm not a subject matter expert in my field.    

[Kiss my mutt]

18 hours ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Olajuwon and Katina should go to Harvard Extension School for a cooking course.

Yeah, It wouldn’t surprise me if they have a cooking class as one of their date nights.

[kristen111]

19 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

To me what was a bit OTT was the way he was grabbing his crotch while doing so. I don’t even want to think of why…but I have some guesses. 

Not only did I not do that, I didn’t do the garter thing at my wedding also.  My Mother would have thought it tacky.

[kristen111]

19 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

Who’s house would y’all rather eat at? Tacos, pizza or Asian food? 

Jasmina and Michael’s party of friends and families.  I counted three girls, and enough snacks for one.  Where were the lobsters?  And guys.  Katina and O put out the best spread imo.

[Mindthinkr]

I wonder that they weren’t given a stipend to buy food and stuff for their parties. Hence all the balloons and plastic stuff. We saw them buy the lobsters, but I never got a good look at their tacos. Wondering if they kept those for themselves. Or made seafood tacos with both shrimp and lobster. 

[Crashcourse]

6 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

 And guys.  Katina and O put out the best spread imo.

I agree.  That chicken looked delicious but I'm not buying that either Katina or O prepared it. 

[kristen111]

1 minute ago, Crashcourse said:

I agree.  That chicken looked delicious but I'm not buying that either Katina or O prepared it. 

Hell no. Probably Kentucky or Popeys.  The best.  I’m dying for the new fish sandwich with pickles on.

[cardigirl]

5 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

Hell no. Probably Kentucky or Popeys.  The best.  I’m dying for the new fish sandwich with pickles on.

We don't have Popeyes in Boston and precious few KFCs around. Might have been from here as it is closest to Revere. 

 

ETA: Apparently there are few Popeye's Louisiana Kitchens in Boston, but not many. 

Edited February 24, 2022 by cardigirl

[Polliwollidoodle]

Could Lindsey have been any more hatefilled and nasty than her rant in the bathroom? The stuff she said was so OTT that it confirmed my super low opinion of her. I really didn't like her after the first after party where she would not shut up and talked over everyone.  She continues to be my least favorite. 

Alyssa is almost comical. 

I like Chris and Mark. I can't stand Katina;s voice.

[kristen111]

41 minutes ago, seacliffsal said:

It amazes me when some people claim they deserve such and such.  Why do you deserve it?  What have you done to deserve it and attain it?  This show really emphasizes how people can buy into a philosophy without any understanding of what it may actually mean.  Alyssa continues to tell anyone who will listen what she deserves.  Others also show this (I deserve to have you have my back no matter what, I deserve to not have to work [without any specifics about being able to get money when needed-just a 'trust me' attitude], etc.).  And they expect the "experts" to get them what they could not find for themselves.

I am always amazed how much food, drink, decorations some of these couples have when they have only invited 3-4 people over for their 'house warming.'

I still have hope for some of these couples, but they need to stop thinking about only their desires (or what they deserve...) and start thinking about compromises and supporting each other.

I’m old and married a long time.  It amazes me how much these girls want, mentally and physically.  They come first and feel entitled.  Noi couldn’t watch Steve’s spaghetti cooking?  She let it turn to mush?  Yeah, she wants three kids .. in her dreams.  Sometimes you have to put others first.  Things aren’t all about her.

[becauseIsaidso]

It could just be the way Steve phrases things (he sounded very condescending and in scolding mode to me about Noi leaving the apartment when she was upset over the noodles - which was, granted, childish on her part), but I was left with a major red flag on his attitude toward finances. I don't remember his exact wording, but I was left with the impression that he would step up only IF needed. NO mention of setting up some sort of  joint budget, to which he would make a regular and reasonable contribution. I got the impression that he was fine with Noi's salary paying their living expenses and him chipping in only if required...that's a definite no go for me. I can understand people who are self-employed rather than weekly/monthly/whatever salary - but - now that he is part of a MARRIAGE - he needs to understand her need for financial disclosure. If he doesn't want to make such a disclosure until after decision day - then, IMNSHO, he is not really in it, but rather keeping all his acorns hidden for his own use. Pity, that, cuz I really liked them as a couple and thought they would be the one of all others to actually make it to decision day and beyond. At this point, it looks for a 5 for 5 NO go.

Kinda tired of LIndsay - she is just too sloppy and too crass to suit me and I was a big fan early on. However MTS really needs to use his Big Boy words and show a little bit of comprehension - if he actually has the capacity - which I am coming to doubt.

[kristen111]

21 minutes ago, Polliwollidoodle said:

Could Lindsey have been any more hatefilled and nasty than her rant in the bathroom? The stuff she said was so OTT that it confirmed my super low opinion of her. I really didn't like her after the first after party where she would not shut up and talked over everyone.  She continues to be my least favorite. 

Alyssa is almost comical. 

I like Chris and Mark. I can't stand Katina;s voice.

I wish Mark would dump Lindsey and move in with Chris.  Perfect.

[kristen111]

2 minutes ago, becauseIsaidso said:

It could just be the way Steve phrases things (he sounded very condescending and in scolding mode to me about Noi leaving the apartment when she was upset over the noodles - which was, granted, childish on her part), but I was left with a major red flag on his attitude toward finances. I don't remember his exact wording, but I was left with the impression that he would step up only IF needed. NO mention of setting up some sort of  joint budget, to which he would make a regular and reasonable contribution. I got the impression that he was fine with Noi's salary paying their living expenses and him chipping in only if required...that's a definite no go for me. I can understand people who are self-employed rather than weekly/monthly/whatever salary - but - now that he is part of a MARRIAGE - he needs to understand her need for financial disclosure. If he doesn't want to make such a disclosure until after decision day - then, IMNSHO, he is not really in it, but rather keeping all his acorns hidden for his own use. Pity, that, cuz I really liked them as a couple and thought they would be the one of all others to actually make it to decision day and beyond. At this point, it looks for a 5 for 5 NO go.

Kinda tired of LIndsay - she is just too sloppy and too crass to suit me and I was a big fan early on. However MTS really needs to use his Big Boy words and show a little bit of comprehension - if he actually has the capacity - which I am coming to doubt.

I get all that about Steve and Noi.  Underneath she’s worried about money and I don’t blame her.  All this falls on the experts who match for fights and drama, unfortunately.  Everyone of them are mismatched on purpose.

[Racj82]

1 hour ago, cardigirl said:

In Boston, six figures are much easier to come by. If at his age, he's only making $65 grand, he isn't doing that well depending on what he does for a living. I make much more than that, plus all of my benefits, and I'm not a subject matter expert in my field.    

That's good for you. That doesn't mean that's the average or the norm. Area be damned. Especially depending on the job. Obviously he isn't crushing it, he had a roommate. But, expectations for salary needs to be tempered. Expecting someone to make six figures is ridiculous no matter where you live. Mocking someone for making under that is bullshit. Mocking anyone's income is bullshit. I know these people just met but shaming him for making a decent salary is still fucked. I'm also sure if the tables were turned he would never do that her. He's not like that and its fun to judge and ridicule a man's salary but people rarely do that to women. It's hard out there. For a lot of people.

[Racj82]

On Steve and Noi, people keep blaming the experts but when we first saw them together, saw them interact, etc. pretty much everyone reacted to them as  sensible people. That she wouldn't jump to conclusions or be mad about the self employed thing. She seemed down to earth and mature. 

A direct contrast to how she is coming off now. I can't stress this enough. 1. We do not know how much they told the experts about their dealbreakers, how they fully presented themselves and what they lied about. This is like constantly being mad about companies for every shitty hire they make. Anyone can present themselves a certain way in a interview. 2. They really need to open up their process beyond a questionnaire and a couple of meetings. It's not enough. 

Although I call bullshit on casting Chris of Paige and Chris. He came off as a narcissistic from the jump.

[kristen111]

What I find very interesting about this show is that men are mostly clueless why women get mad.  Steve thought it might be the noodles.  It wasn’t.  They think completely opposite of women, and it’s frustrating.  For example, there was one time where I was mad about something.  The next day, I expected an apology from my husband.  When answering a question from him, I said “aren’t you going to apologize first”?  He then said “ I apologize”.  I answered “ for what”?  He answered “what ever the hell you are mad at today”.  Totally clueless.

[gingerandcloves]

1 hour ago, Racj82 said:

On Steve and Noi, people keep blaming the experts but when we first saw them together, saw them interact, etc. pretty much everyone reacted to them as  sensible people. That she wouldn't jump to conclusions or be mad about the self employed thing. She seemed down to earth and mature. 

A direct contrast to how she is coming off now. I can't stress this enough. 1. We do not know how much they told the experts about their dealbreakers, how they fully presented themselves and what they lied about. This is like constantly being mad about companies for every shitty hire they make. Anyone can present themselves a certain way in a interview. 2. They really need to open up their process beyond a questionnaire and a couple of meetings. It's not enough. 

Although I call bullshit on casting Chris of Paige and Chris. He came off as a narcissistic from the jump.

Except that in this case, the experts knew about Noi's childhood, and her financial struggles growing up, and that security was going to be #1 for her; they also knew that Steve was more of a free-spirit ("vagabond" if you will), so I think in this case it was possible to predict that there would be a clash. We see that they like to cast opposites under the guise of "balancing each other out" which is a pretty poor strategy.

[Rightside]

2 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

I wonder that they weren’t given a stipend to buy food and stuff for their parties. Hence all the balloons and plastic stuff. We saw them buy the lobsters, but I never got a good look at their tacos. Wondering if they kept those for themselves. Or made seafood tacos with both shrimp and lobster. 

Ashley Petta said anything that was on the show was all paid for by the show.

If they went out to eat on the show, the show paid for it.  If they went out on their own, they paid. I guess that would be the same policy for all seasons.???

[GettingGray]

3 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

Thank you. SM is not the place to air your dirty laundry. 

Kind of reminds me of what Taylor did in DC on season 10

[Elizzikra]

Quote

Or made seafood tacos with both shrimp and lobster. 

That's what I thought - that they made seafood tacos.

Quote

 

That chicken looked delicious but I'm not buying that either Katina or O prepared it. 

 

We saw O bring it home; Katina asked him how much he bought and he said 50 pieces. They didn't pretend to have cooked it. I think it was in a big yellow box.

Quote

That's good for you. That doesn't mean that's the average or the norm. Area be damned. Especially depending on the job. Obviously he isn't crushing it, he had a roommate. But, expectations for salary needs to be tempered. Expecting someone to make six figures is ridiculous no matter where you live. Mocking someone for making under that is bullshit. Mocking anyone's income is bullshit. I know these people just met but shaming him for making a decent salary is still fucked. I'm also sure if the tables were turned he would never do that her. He's not like that and its fun to judge and ridicule a man's salary but people rarely do that to women. It's hard out there. For a lot of people.

I have really wanted to like Lindsey but I gave up after her bathroom rant. I think she likes to stir up drama and Mark does not. I don't blame him. I think that everything she said about Mark in the bathroom was nasty.

Income-wise, Mark does earn a below average salary - https://www.census.gov/library/publications/2021/demo/p60-273.html#:~:text=Median household income was %2467%2C521,median household income since 2011.. There is no shame in that. He works hard at a legal job and he seems to live within his means. It was another low blow from Lindsey and it said much more about her than him.

[cardigirl]

1 hour ago, Racj82 said:

That's good for you. That doesn't mean that's the average or the norm. Area be damned. Especially depending on the job. Obviously he isn't crushing it, he had a roommate. But, expectations for salary needs to be tempered. Expecting someone to make six figures is ridiculous no matter where you live. Mocking someone for making under that is bullshit. Mocking anyone's income is bullshit. I know these people just met but shaming him for making a decent salary is still fucked. I'm also sure if the tables were turned he would never do that her. He's not like that and its fun to judge and ridicule a man's salary but people rarely do that to women. It's hard out there. For a lot of people.

I wasn't trying to ridicule anyone, just saying that anyone over 35 would not consider $65 grand a year an excellent wage. Not in the Boston area.  If I were living in the Midwest still, it would be above average. But he's what, 37?  That's not enough, around here, to support a family.

And no, Lindsey should not ridicule him for what he does for a living. (What does he do?) She hits below the belt and it will take a lot of apology and self-awareness on her part to change anyone's mind about her. 

Mark just doesn't seem ambitious to me. Whether or not that's important to anyone else, it may have been important to Lindsey.  

[TeapotWakeen]

28 minutes ago, cardigirl said:

Mark just doesn't seem ambitious to me. Whether or not that's important to anyone else, it may have been important to Lindsey.  

We know he has been a caregiver for his mother and his grandmother. That can really cut into one's ability to work regular, steady hours at a strictly 9-5 job (she says, from experience). It could be that the job he has now allows him the flexibility to take care of his grandmother's needs (I think his mother lives in an institution?) for health care, personal care, home-based needs, etc. Lindsay doesn't listen well enough to hear what MTS may or may not have done to help take care of loved ones.

[Kiss my mutt]

I’m not convinced that Noi’s concern over Steve’s unconventional view on employment is rooted only in her being a refugee as a child but her desire to be taken care of and spoiled materialistically but it sounds better at least.  
I don’t think it’s unusual for a partner in general to want to know what the gameplan is financially despite their upbringing. Maybe if he showed her his accounts so she has an idea of what they’re starting with, she’d feel better, but it may just be they’re not ever going to be compatible in this way and the art of noodle draining and she needs a more traditional partnership.

45 minutes ago, TeapotWakeen said:

We know he has been a caregiver for his mother and his grandmother. That can really cut into one's ability to work regular, steady hours at a strictly 9-5 job (she says, from experience). It could be that the job he has now allows him the flexibility to take care of his grandmother's needs (I think his mother lives in an institution?) for health care, personal care, home-based needs, etc. Lindsay doesn't listen well enough to hear what MTS may or may not have done to help take care of loved ones.

That’s an excellent point. This happens with women all the time, since they have historically been the caregivers of the young and old and often both at the same time. 

[Vanderboom]

3 hours ago, becauseIsaidso said:

Kinda tired of LIndsay - she is just too sloppy and too crass to suit me and I was a big fan early on.

Same here. I had just forgiven her for the off-camera obnoxious plane shenanigans, thinking that she might have been nervous and unsure and unwise about boundaries. Now she strikes me as one of those people who consider themselves an "alpha" and acting out is her way of marking her territory and establishing dominance.

 

3 hours ago, kristen111 said:

I wish Mark would dump Lindsey and move in with Chris.  Perfect.

I'm pretty sure Mark wishes that, too!

 

Edited February 25, 2022 by Vanderboom

[Racj82]

2 hours ago, gingerandcloves said:

Except that in this case, the experts knew about Noi's childhood, and her financial struggles growing up, and that security was going to be #1 for her; they also knew that Steve was more of a free-spirit ("vagabond" if you will), so I think in this case it was possible to predict that there would be a clash. We see that they like to cast opposites under the guise of "balancing each other out" which is a pretty poor strategy.

A could mean B. Her immigrant background doesn't mean that she would be this uptight about how Steve earns a living. I'm just saying that how she presents herself, her goals and her fears are more important than her background. So, it doesn't have to mean they dropped the ball based on what they knew. I don't think anyone saw her being this anal and inflexible about this many things coming.

[Racj82]

1 hour ago, cardigirl said:

I wasn't trying to ridicule anyone, just saying that anyone over 35 would not consider $65 grand a year an excellent wage. Not in the Boston area.  If I were living in the Midwest still, it would be above average. But he's what, 37?  That's not enough, around here, to support a family.

And no, Lindsey should not ridicule him for what he does for a living. (What does he do?) She hits below the belt and it will take a lot of apology and self-awareness on her part to change anyone's mind about her. 

Mark just doesn't seem ambitious to me. Whether or not that's important to anyone else, it may have been important to Lindsey.  

Well you would be wrong about that regarding wages. I barely know anyone making 65k or above. But, I know plenty people that are not broke, comfortable, good homes, happy but live under that salary. Because it's not broke. That's all I'm saying. It wasn't something to bag on Mark or anyone about and that was my point. It's the nasty part of Lyndsey I can't stand.

[gwen747]

Jasmina seems to be seething with rage underneath her calm demeanor.