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S07.E03: Breaking the Cycle


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No spoilers.  That means no media or social media that was published after the time that the episode was filmed. 

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As Jazz continues on her weight loss journey, she learns she isn't the only woman in her family who has struggled with eating issues. Sander is interested in dating a trans woman, and things get heated with Jazz and her siblings as they prepare dinner.

Original air date 2021.12.14

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23 minutes ago, jacksgirl said:

FFS Jazz, invest in a decent sports bra.

And why do I like Noah so much more than Jazz and her family?

Yea I’m with you,.. I’d rather watch a show about him. Jazz seriously lucked out with having such supportive parents, which is something many trans people don’t have. 

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I like Noah, and feel so badly about his family situation. I’m glad his mom is coming around. 
 

Pretty enlightening to hear Jacky’s experiences with weight control. Her parents sound awful.
 

It was shocking to listen to Jazz listing what she eats for breakfast! That’s a lotta food. 
 

I’m proud of Sander for being so open to dating Hope!

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Grandma was shamed about her weight then shamed her own daughter about her weight and on and on it goes. The nutritionist should not have weighed Jazz in front of her family and the family commenting on everything she does will lead to depression and anxiety for Jazz.

Also everything Sander does is to get his mug in the screen so I believe nothing about his interest in dating trans women.

Edited by Madding crowd
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4 minutes ago, Madding crowd said:

Grandma was shamed about her weight then shamed her own daughter about her weight and on and on it goes. The nutritionist should not have weighed Jazz in front of her family and the family commenting on everything she does will lead to depression and anxiety for Jazz.

Also thing everything Sander does is to get his mug in the screen so I believe nothing about his interest in dating trans women.

Watching the siblings fight in the kitchen is giving me anxiety. Just leave her alone, jeez.

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This Sander thing is getting ridiculous. How many times is he gonna be like I'm an ALLY but I'm NOT GAY! I get asked all the time and it doesn't bother me! But I'm NOT GAY! I'll date a transwoman. Because TRANSWOMAN IS WOMAN! It doesn't matter what you have down there! But I won't go below the waist. Because I'm NOT GAY! I feel like this storyline is wrong. He's not going to date a transwoman. I can't stand him.

It was nice hearing about the family's food trauma because it was obvious mom and grandma have issues. I don't like how they are saying WE LOVE JAZZ BUT WE HATE HER BODY! Like openly. However, Jazz does look SO uncomfortable like she can hardly move. She was always a slug but she like physically can't move. Watching this show is painful, actually.

Also, I guess Noah is the new Noelle. He is too good for this show, like Noelle was. Like please don't have Sander as your sounding board for real issues. That's cruel and unusual. I hope Noelle is doing well! She had a lot of struggles. I'm thinking of her.

 

Edited by shouldbedancing
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When all the girls shared their stories and went to the nutritionist, I thought oh good, they're all one another's support group and will learn how to do it gently. But no. At the dinner table, most of the family, the boys included, started bullying Jazz, and I thought that's just going to push her into a binge. They need to back off and stop raising her anxiety level. I hope Jazz meets with the nutritionist alone so she can tell the nutritionist what her family does and then hopefully the nutritionist will tell them to back off. All of them except the grandparents and the dad are very controlling; no wonder Jazz gets anxiety from them as well as from everything else she handles.

Edited by JeanJean
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47 minutes ago, PupCal said:

Watching the siblings fight in the kitchen is giving me anxiety. Just leave her alone, jeez.

In this case I have to agree with Ari - don't agree to cook a meal together if you're going to pull parts of it aside to load with butter and "eat later".  FWIW - my mom is tiny like Jacky and has been obsessed with her weight and her food intake her whole life - she called me a "fat pig" when I was in high school - 5'5" and weighing 135.  I am now an actual "fat pig" weighing in around 234, and my mom continues to be tiny and revolve her life and her thoughts around her food intake.  I was a binge eater at home when I was in high school - which is why I know Jazz just isn't casually cruising around town and coming home laden with fast food bags that she leaves lying on the top of the trash bins in case anyone wants to notice them and have a meaningful discussion.  If I invite my parents for dinner now and don't have some kind of appetizer on the table the MINUTE they walk in the door my mom is scarfing down croutons from the bag or anything else she can find (her food rules don't count in my house, or some such) which is why I can relate to Ari's annoyance.

The previews had me wondering about Sander - this week's ep about his desire to be shirtless has convinced me I was right initially - his desire to be the "star" of the show is more obvious than his desire to "date trans women".  For the record Sander - I never "questioned your sexuality" or thought you were gay - I always assumed you just wanted to get more camera time on your family's show.  As far as Noah goes - wouldn't he want to make that video once the band aids were off his nipples?  I'd think so, but what do I know.

 

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14 minutes ago, princelina said:

FWIW - my mom is tiny like Jacky and has been obsessed with her weight and her food intake her whole life - she called me a "fat pig" when I was in high school - 5'5" and weighing 135. 

My mom was tiny and food-obsessed as well.  I was also told in high school that I needed to lose weight.  I was 5’1” and weighed 112 lb. at the time.  Thanks, mom!

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2 hours ago, JeanJean said:

the dinner table, most of the family, the boys included, started bullying Jazz, and I thought that's just going to push her into a binge. They need to back off and stop raising her anxiety level.

That's exactly what I was going to say.  They're watching everything down to a pat of butter, wtf?   If that's not a reason to binge I don't know what is.   That whole scene  jazz was probably thinking, "man I can't wait to eat a box of cookies or a box of donuts...ALONE!".   They are driving jazz underground to hide her binges.  Poor jazz, they're watching every bite she puts in her mouth.   And that sister was annoying af.  She's like  "I don't like people eating while we're cooking dinner".   Like.....okkkk.  Jazz was just taking out her portion to add butter to it...because they didn't want butter on the whole bowl of pasta.  Jeez

   You can tell the mom and grandma are ashamed and embarrassed by jazz.   They are obviously into outward appearances and are seriously vain people, trying to keep a certain image    Dam, the grandmother looks like she's trying to be a 20 yr old.  Like  it's ok lady... you're in your 80s...you can put a pound or 2 on!! lol.  And the look on the mom's face when she saw how much jazz weighed.  She looked so disappointed.   Like jazz is ruining her image.   I mean, I get you don't want your child to be unhealthy, but I think it's more about how embarrassed by jazz she is.    But I'll still be watching!  Not sure why I enjoy these "train wreck" shows.   😁

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I want to be done with this show. It’s just so hard to watch. Jazz is clearly struggling, and it shouldn’t be on display for the whole world. The twin claiming to be an ally? He’s driving me nuts, he’s just a famewhore. You feel a genuine connection with a trans woman? Fine, but why put it on display? The previews of them ice skating and him doing some live video of it just skeeved me out,  not everything has to be documented on social media. And what’s his obsession with being shirtless??

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I've known four different people who visited four different nutritionists. Not one of them was weighed by the nutritionist nor given a meal plan and food diary. Is that a thing now?

I did like that the nutritionist didn't buy into the term "food addiction." It's just a theory and there's controversy about it in the medical community. What bothered me was Jazz in the last episode acting like being a "food addict" meant she wasn't responsible for her over eating.

I'm not sure I buy what the nutritionist said about families that have over eaters also having someone who restricts food. That just seemed too pat after hearing Jackie's story. And maybe I'm used to larger bodies, because the nutritionist seemed a bit thin herself.

Ari was all kinds of annoying. Being controlling because you have someone's best interests at heart is still being controlling. Unless Jazz is forking food into her mouth, maybe just figure she's telling the truth and plans to eat her buttered noodles with dinner. Also, people who are cooking should at least be tasting as they go.

Equally bad was the brother spearing food off Jazz's plate, then holding it up to show it dripping with butter. Except it's pasta. Unless you've got a better method for draining it than I do, it drips when you add sauce, butter or similar. Fucker.

This family is showing deep concern now that the cameras are rolling. It's like Jazz somehow magically hid a hundred pound weight gain, they just suddenly realized it and Something Must Be Done Now. The healthy way to help would be to support her getting a medical checkup. If there's nothing to account for the weight gain, encourage Jazz to work with the nutritionist on her own and stop bullying her. Let her take responsibility for her choices, even if they're bad ones. Especially if they're bad ones.

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So now Sander is the voice for the LGBTQ community while Jazz sits back and eats? Where is her voice? What the hell has happened to her? Where is her confidence? I think she is deeply depressed because she thought her surgeries would change her life and bring ever lasting happiness and when she realized nothing has changed she just gave up. 

It was very telling when Jazz was walking in the kitchen and said preparing healthy food was a lot of work. Yes, it is. The key is to prep ahead of time for your weekly meals so you know what you are going to make, and actually going to the grocery store. Making fresh takes more time compared to running out to the the nearest fast food restaurant for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Does she know how to cook?  I don't think when/if she goes off to Harvard things will change for her. She will be free to eat what she wants, when she wants and nobody will be there to give her a hard time about it. Also, she said she has 2 months before Harvard and she just now decides it's time to get in shape? 

Oh, and again, Sander sit down and STFU! Nobody wants to see you shirtless or opening your mouth to speak.

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Ari didn't want butter on the big bowl of pasta, and Jazz DID want butter on hers (which, as she points out, is allowed on her diet), so she prepared hers separately.  Not sure why she couldn't have just added butter at the table unless the Food Nazis weren't going to allow that OR she wanted to add it while it was piping hot so it would melt.  Either way, Jazz did NOTHING wrong and shouldn't have had to apologize to a bullying and ungracious Ari.  If poor Jazz isn't already crazy with an eating disorder, this neurotic family is going to drive her there and give her one!  I personally think all the siblings probably greatly resented all the attention and pampering Jazz got growing up while they were somewhat ignored and neglected in contrast and are now kicking her while she's down in conscious or subconscious retaliation.

Edited by all4mom2
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15 hours ago, jacksgirl said:

FFS Jazz, invest in a decent sports bra.

And why do I like Noah so much more than Jazz and her family?

To be honest, I'm surprised she wears one at all.  She never used to, but I think she's gained so much weight, she has no choice.

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13 hours ago, JeanJean said:

 

From what I understand, one of the best things to do for an eating disorder is to take the person's focus OFF food, so that food can again become just a part of life, not its entirety. I think that's why the nutritionist doesn't forbid any foods.

What Jazz's family does is put ALL the focus on food ALL the time. They're obsessed with what Jazz is eating, which keeps her obsessed with it. Instead of talking about other things during dinner, they obsess about what is on her plate.

That may be a part of why eating disorders run in families. They would all - anorexia, bulimia, etc. - seem to be an unhealthy obsession with food. Just different sides of the same coin.

Edited by JeanJean
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The takeaway for me this week, was we can’t help someone with a mental illness, by trying to force them to behave like people who don’t have a mental illness. The false equivalence from Jazz’s siblings (“just do what I do, eat how I eat, work out how I work out— and you’ll be just fine”), completely ignores the fact she’s dealing with something none of them have any experience with. A mental health disorder. Something that wont just disappear with positive thinking, lectures, family sports challenges, and shaming.

If were as simple as that — and she could pop up and workout like Sander, or eat like Ari with a tiny bit of grit — then, arguably, she wouldn’t *have* an eating disorder to begin with, wouldn’t have gotten to this point, and we wouldn’t be having this conversation. I felt her siblings were well-intentioned but incredibly misinformed. 

As someone who very nearly died from an eating disorder, I’m also uncomfortable that the therapist is weighing her in front of the entire world. People with eating disorders  often do things in extremes. That said, its not uncommon for one eating disorder to segue into another (from binge eating, to bulimia or anorexia; from anorexia to binge eating and bulimia— or any mix of symptoms). I feel like the public weighing is just setting her up for more problems, or different ones, down the line.   

 

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I 100% agree with Bichonblitz's comments.  A few specific takeaways I had from the episode is, Jazz has no idea how to cook for herself.  One of the boys was berating her for "you will overcook and ruin my chicken" because Jazz has no idea how to cook, how long things take etc.  I won't rehash everyone else's comments with Ari, I agree with you all.  

The other take away was when the nutritionist gave her a daily journal, and Jazz was like "what? I have to do work?" That was not a good sign to me, that she will be capable of planning out healthy food choices, and putting in the time to prepare them.  She will stick with convenience, and as you all know that is the least healthy.

Zero of the episode is Sander.  The commenter above about him taking his shirt off for attention etc is spot on 100%  He wants to be the star, and celebrity.  I think he had good intentions when he started out as an ally, but now it seems to be a vehicle for attention.  He is like the over religious, or vegan or whatever types of people that have used something as their identiy, they use it to be "better" than you, and use it to get the spotlight.

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16 hours ago, TomGirl said:

My mom was tiny and food-obsessed as well.  I was also told in high school that I needed to lose weight.  I was 5’1” and weighed 112 lb. at the time.  Thanks, mom!

Parents can do so much damage even if they don’t really realize it or are being cruel intentionally 

I remember when I was about 10 years old my mother commenting about a girl my age  down the street how tall and skinny she was. And saying to her friend “ I hoped when I had a daughter she would have that kind of a figure”. While I was standing right next to her. I felt so bad about myself and how much I disappointed my mother. I was not overweight. I was short. She died before she could see it but I grew up to have a beautiful body when I was young. Not so much anymore thanks to time.

Jazz needs bi-weekly therapy. It pains me to hear how much she eats in one sitting. This is not just anxiety eating this is beyond serious. She needs to find out what it is that is bothering her that is coming out in food. 

Her brother grates!!

Edited by chediavolo
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This show is starting to make me seriously sad for Jazz.  She’s been on TV since before she could make independent adult decisions and now here she is, at barely 21, with every aspect of her life and past on display.  My heart ached for Jazz when her mother stated outright that she loved Jazz, but not her body.  Damn.  I understand that her family is worried about her weight and health (I have an issue, myself), but there is a difference between expressing concern from the heart in private and bombarding her with criticisms and scrutiny.  The scene where the kids made dinner together made my skin crawl.  Even worse was when her brother reached over and picked up some of her pasta to show the family how much butter was on it.  Jazz has reached an age where she should ask that her siblings mind their own goddamn business and butt the fuck out.  The worst part is that she really can’t draw boundaries at this point because so much of her identity is built around broadcasting her issues to the world at large.

Speaking of butting out, I’m astounded that her mother, grandmother, and sister all attended the appointment with the nutritionist.  I’ve been to two nutritionists and was not asked to weigh in, nor was there much focus on my psychological and emotional reasons for eating.  That should be addressed in therapy with a qualified mental health professional.  Also, I must say, the nutritionist clearly enjoys being on TV just as much as Sander does.  As for Sander, it’s probably best that I say nothing.  He is a complete joke to me.  

Edited by Suzy Rhapsody
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10 hours ago, Dehumidifier said:

Her arms didn't look that fat. I seriously thought there might be some padding involved -- to enhance the storyline,

Her face doesn't look particularly heavy either.  It's a little fuller, but no double chin.  Now you've got me wondering.  But if they are exaggerating, what a weird thing to do.

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I think one of the reasons that psychotherapy is not only recommended, but letters of assessment/successful participation are required for gender reassignment/affirmation surgery is so that any mental health issues are identified, addressed and a plan is in place for the post-surgery mental health of the individual.

I also think that it does Jazz and anyone else out there suffering from mental health issues a great disservice to just shrug it off(Dr. Grandpa), insist that it has NOTHING to do with_______(fill in the blank, Jeanette) and/or bleat simplistic solutions ad nauseum (looking at YOU, Zander).

A nutritionist is a great start for Jazz to learn about healthy foods and preparation.  Unfortunately, it does nothing to address her mental health issues.

When I was 15, mom took me to the family dr and announced she thought I had anorexia.  My parents had taken me to the hospital more than once for a shot to stop throwing up, because it lasted longer than 24 hours.  I was 5’8”, 135 lbs.  Dr. looked at me and said “do you MAKE yourself throw up?” To which I answered no, because I didn’t.  He looked back at Mom, called her by her first name(they had known each other professionally for years as well as socially) and said “ are you sure you’re just not mad because she isn’t fat like the rest of the family?”  Years later I learned that my problem is called “cyclical vomiting” and has nothing to do with the eating disorder anorexia, but they think it has a LOT to do with stress…and even hormones.  Post-partum depression, pregnancy “brain”, morning sickness and crying at commercials with cute puppies are all things most folks accept as the potential consequence of the hormones involved with the changes one’s body goes through bringing another human into the world.  Perhaps a visit with an endocrinologist might be a good idea, too?

Edited by kicotan
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1 hour ago, yankeefan said:

Her face doesn't look particularly heavy either.  It's a little fuller, but no double chin.  Now you've got me wondering.  But if they are exaggerating, what a weird thing to do.

So funny - my son said the same thing - she doesn't look real, it looks like a theatrical "fat suit!"

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Has anyone ever found out what happened to Jacky?  Of course I am referring to her eye, but her side profile looks totally unnatural, almost like she had cancer of the jaw/face or a botched plastic surgery.  Something about the way she speaks makes me uncomfortable.  I find it's hard to put what my feeling is into words, but everything with her seems so formal.  It's almost like what she says is rehearsed a lot of the time. 

I find Grandpa Jack much more appealing and natural acting.

I feel sorry for Jazz because this family has really messed her up.  She should have never been forced to be an 'advocate' 24/7 at such a young age.  I honestly don't know what to think about Sander.  The oldest sister seems very dour all the time.  Poor Greg always looks so resigned.  The only ones I really think are somewhat normal are Griffin and Greg. 

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12 hours ago, yankeefan said:

Her face doesn't look particularly heavy either.  It's a little fuller, but no double chin.  Now you've got me wondering.  But if they are exaggerating, what a weird thing to do.

She stripped down in the last episode to reveal her massive torso (breasts and abdomen); mostly, that "beer gut."  You could even count the stretch marks where she gained a huge amount of weight relatively quickly.  If I had to guess, I'd say it's as much from that "right medication" (probably an antipsychotic, since she's been on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety agents for years) as from over-eating.  Psychiatric drugs can also give you a HUGE appetite.  At any rate, it's obviously real, and that seems to be the only place she collects fat, as Ari's upper thighs aren't much smaller than Jazz's.  Jazz...  Escape to Pomona!

Edited by all4mom2
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8 hours ago, yankeefan said:

Her face doesn't look particularly heavy either.  It's a little fuller, but no double chin.  Now you've got me wondering.  But if they are exaggerating, what a weird thing to do.

She is extremely busty, though, so that probably accounts for a good bit of weight. Thank goodness she never got implants.

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On 12/15/2021 at 12:14 AM, TomGirl said:

My mom was tiny and food-obsessed as well.  I was also told in high school that I needed to lose weight.  I was 5’1” and weighed 112 lb. at the time.  Thanks, mom!

Did we all have the same mother?  My mother is (now) 85 and a good brisk wind could still blow her away.  I always heard degrading things about food my whole life.  I was always average size, but thought I was huge - nope - pictures to prove it, Mom.

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3 hours ago, TomGirl said:

OMG, what they did to us!  😕

Well, I guess I lucked out.  My mother didn't give a crap about me, my little brother (the thief and drug dealer) was the apple of her eye and could do no wrong. She left everything to him when she passed. Not that I care anything about that, I am just fine. As a mother myself I never favored one over the other and have set things to be divided equally between them.

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On 12/15/2021 at 11:45 PM, Dehumidifier said:

Her arms didn't look that fat. I seriously thought there might be some padding involved -- to enhance the storyline,

Her face doesn’t look all that fat either but I guess different people carry the pounds differently. Especially when you are young. 

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On 12/16/2021 at 1:44 PM, Joan van Snark said:

Has anyone ever found out what happened to Jacky?  Of course I am referring to her eye, but her side profile looks totally unnatural, almost like she had cancer of the jaw/face or a botched plastic surgery.  Something about the way she speaks makes me uncomfortable.  I find it's hard to put what my feeling is into words, but everything with her seems so formal.  It's almost like what she says is rehearsed a lot of the time. 

I find Grandpa Jack much more appealing and natural acting.

I feel sorry for Jazz because this family has really messed her up.  She should have never been forced to be an 'advocate' 24/7 at such a young age.  I honestly don't know what to think about Sander.  The oldest sister seems very dour all the time.  Poor Greg always looks so resigned.  The only ones I really think are somewhat normal are Griffin and Greg. 

I’ve also asked this before but never gotten an answer. I also tried googling it and have found nothing. Her eye  is odd and she’s also wearing wigs. How old is she? hair loss could be due to hormones I don’t know how what the eye issue is . And of course it’s actually none of our business except that she is on TV every week so I guess she’s fair game for our curiosity. 

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4 hours ago, chediavolo said:

Her eye  is odd and she’s also wearing wigs.

From a quick blurb I read it is stated that the family is Jewish. This may be why she wears a wig (head cover). I wonder if she has an uncorrected Strabismus. I kind of sensed a bit of strabismus in one of the boys (not sure which one), maybe his was corrected as a child. It runs in our family and we have some uncorrected ones and the eye does as it wishes.

 

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On 12/19/2021 at 10:06 AM, chediavolo said:

Her face doesn’t look all that fat either but I guess different people carry the pounds differently. Especially when you are young. 

I hate to say it, but it's male-pattern fat distribution; the hard internal visceral abdominal fat (the classic beer belly) versus the squishy surface butt, thigh, upper arm, and hip fat that women tend to get.  The former also lends one to heart disease.

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I would say it's a body type that is more associated with men than women; however, it is not exclusive to one gender.  I am cisgender female and have the same fat distribution. I have broad shoulders, a large bust, and narrow hips.  While weight in the hips is much more associated with women, it is not unheard of for women to also have this body type.  I have to put on an enormous amount of weight for my hips to get larger.

Jazz is an apple shape.  She is putting on weight in the abdomen.  Weight also seems to go to her breasts. A friend of mine calls it spider build; the body gets large but the legs and arms stay thin.  We see this same figure in the actress who played Janice on The Sopranos. Also, Jeannette has a similar build, although she is nowhere near as heavy as Jazz is at this time.  Overall Jazz favors Jeanette in her looks. The other kids more favor Greg.  

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I happened to see Jazz's book in our youth center Library today. It was so upbeat, happy and hopeful. Teenage years are always hard, but this is devastating. She's incredibly unhappy and to be honest, she needs to move out of that house. If she had indeed gone away to college, it might have helped her become more independent, plus all colleges now have counselors available if she felt out of control. And college roommates - if you're lucky - don't fat-shame you like your family can. 

My mother struggled with her weight since she was a child - she became addicted to laxatives in high school in the 1940s. Her sister was younger, blonder, and naturally slim. At the end of her life, at 89, when she had no interest in food but did drink Ensure, she was delighted to tell me, "I weigh less than my sister now!" 

It seems like a lot of us have been damaged by our family. I hope Jazz can find her independence and re-discover her voice.

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10 hours ago, CousinAmy said:

 

It seems like a lot of us have been damaged by our family. I hope Jazz can find her independence and re-discover her voice.

Yes, yes, yes!  The thing is now, especially with eating disorders,  we know so much more about them and how to treat them. The family is doing do many things wrong.(Public weigh in, not-quite silent disapproval, etc). Wrong on so many levels. 

Edited by jacksgirl
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3 hours ago, jacksgirl said:

Yes, yes, yes!  The thing is now, especially with eating disorders,  we know so much more about them and how to treat them. The family is doing do many things wrong.(Public weigh in, not-quite silent disapproval, etc). Wrong on so many levels. 

Filming it all for their tv show?

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The thing that is infuriating in this storyline is that both Jeanette and her mother had major issues with body image, weight, and eating.  They are saying that they do not want to shame her or create more stress for her which is likely to exacerbate the issue. Then they go on TV focusing on it.  Also, Jeanette allows Jazz's siblings to harass her about her food choices. Jeanette says that she weighs herself everytime she sees the scale, which she knows is unhealthy.  Then she pushes Jazz to weigh herself.  

Ari needs to get over herself, and maybe four people (plus a camera crew) shouldn't be packed into the kitchen while she is cooking if she is uncomfortable with people interacting with the food.  Why isn't she kicking the boys out?  

Also, them acting like this is the only healthy meal that Jazz has ever eaten is ridiculous.  I would expect she eats with the family very often.  They are all living at home.  What do they normally eat?  I was actually happy when Jazz said she is sick of talking about her weight.  The best way to make her feel bad about the "healthy" meal is to keep harassing her while she eats it.  

I need to see so much less Sander.  No Sander would be perfect.  

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