S13.E11: Caution: Feelings Approaching

[TzuShih]

I give Brett a lot of credit for 'following through' on the one-mo. anniversary 'festivities' planned by Ryan (or Production!) so soon after suddenly losing her beloved Baxter.

 BRETT - Baxter was such a dear, appealing little guy, and anyone here who has a special animal in his/her life can well understand the loss you've suffered.  (I'm glad that Ryan is at least a true dog person, and I do believe that he genuinely felt your pain.)

That said, you are a lovely, bright woman who deserves someone who has the emotional intelligence to feel so very lucky to spend the rest of his life with you!  (I totally do not "get" Ryan - a seemingly kind guy with a hilarious, droll sense-of-humor, but obviously SO confused about women.  (As an East Coast woman, the ONLY thing that I keep wondering is if this Western 'cowboy' is waiting - & waiting - & waiting - to find his perfect Dallas Cowgirl Cheerleader type!!!  Sad!)

Again, condolences on the loss of your beautiful Baxter.  💗

 

 

 

 

[kristen111]

6 hours ago, Spectator said:

Same. Although I didn’t see it at first, I now find Brett to be the most beautiful woman on the show, inside and out. I think when she said she had repeatedly been made to feel that she was not enough, it was so raw and so sincere, she instantly became my favorite. Plus, her genuine emotion, coupled with her strength and resolve regarding sweet little Baxter drove home the point that this girl is the real deal. She’s not afraid to be vulnerable, but she’s open in a way that doesn’t make it seem like she’s exposing those vulnerabilities to try to garner attention or sympathy whatsoever. She’s so much more real than what we normally see on this show. I am a huge fan and I am super confident that she will find someone who thinks that she is so much more than “enough” and will absolutely cherish all of her awesomeness. 

What the hell is Ryan looking for?  He has a wonderful girl right in front of him.  A home girl, with a big heart.  WTF?  Give him a prostitute already, or a druggy.

[Crashcourse]

Maybe it's the way Brett chomps down her food turns him off?

[pdlinda]

7 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

Maybe it's the way Brett chomps down her food turns him off?

First of all, Brett said that regardless of the circumstances of filming the show or who they chose as her mate, she would be herself.  I think that's GREAT!

However, regardless of how many positive qualities and attributes she possesses, Ryan is entitled to assess things about her that might be important to him.  He might want someone more socially refined and, although others might find that "shallow" he, as Brett, is entitled to hold his views without compromise.

It's true that's Brett might not have the most elegant table manners and it's also true that Brett's choice of clothing, including the "get-up" she chose to wear to the theater for the 1-month anny--(I think it looked like a shorts outfit??) and the way she presents herself with plunging necklines might not appeal to Ryan. 

There are certain things in the "chemistry" of attraction that either rub a partner the right way or the wrong way, and, perhaps Ryan is simply not attracted to Brett.

Isn't it GREAT that they never consummated the marriage so each may venture forth to find his/her right match without leading the other on and compromising their values and/or their dignity (like several others have done on the show).  

[Crashcourse]

10 minutes ago, pdlinda said:

First of all, Brett said that regardless of the circumstances of filming the show or who they chose as her mate, she would be herself.  I think that's GREAT!

However, regardless of how many positive qualities and attributes she possesses, Ryan is entitled to assess things about her that might be important to him.  He might want someone more socially refined and, although others might find that "shallow" he, as Brett, is entitled to hold his views without compromise.

It's true that's Brett might not have the most elegant table manners and it's also true that Brett's choice of clothing, including the "get-up" she chose to wear to the theater for the 1-month anny--(I think it looked like a shorts outfit??) and the way she presents herself with plunging necklines might not appeal to Ryan. 

There are certain things in the "chemistry" of attraction that either rub a partner the right way or the wrong way, and, perhaps Ryan is simply not attracted to Brett.

Isn't it GREAT that they never consummated the marriage so each may venture forth to find his/her right match without leading the other on and compromising their values and/or their dignity (like several others have done on the show).  

I was half-joking about Brett chomping down on her food, but while I do think she has a right to be herself, I also think that Ryan has the right to not be attracted to her, for whatever reason(s).  

[Jax7917]

Some of the couples probably don’t admit that they consummated the marriage on television because they are hoping for an annulment . 
 

I’ve never seen a season where all of the couples are so hot and cold with each other like this one . One episode they hate each other , the next they’re in love , the next they don’t see a future with the person , the next they see a future with them . They all need a therapist . And maybe I do too for watching this  . I’m getting whiplash . 
 

Gil appears to be the most normal of the guys but I truly can’t stand his voice . I also agree with others that he seems like he’s auditioning for a hosting gig . Also , Myrla needs to wash, cut and layer her hair . 
 

I feel for Brett . She’s the most likable Person this season . I think it’s ok if Ryan isn’t feeling the spark , but if you are looking for butterflies and a model , maybe this show isn’t the best one for you . The only people who should be signing up for this shit show are people who are willing to look past the superficial . That isn’t him . 
 

Bao and Johnny take turns grinding my gears but Johnny leads . I think Bao is just done with his shit and is starting to not care what she says anymore . She is far from perfect but I think it’s clear that Johnny has commitment problems and finds fault with everything . He can’t get over the painting thing as if her wanting to paint a picture and have it look nice so they can hang it is a cardinal sin . As if we all don’t put in our best efforts at Pinot palette . He just seems like he’s never relaxed and like he always has an axe to grind . 
 

Rachel is nice but can .  She  . Talk  . Any .   S-l-o-w-e-r? It’s distracting . 

Jose showed you who he is so you should believe him . This won’t end well for them . 

[pdlinda]

3 minutes ago, Jax7917 said:

I think Bao is just done with his shit and is starting to not care what she says anymore .

I keep thinking of Bao being portrayed as she is in all her emotional "glory" (ups and downs with TMI in many areas) returning to her career in the citadels of medical academia with all the Nobel Prize winners and erudite co-workers.

How she got roped into this horror show is beyond me as I keep reminding myself of her scorn for Johnny's original sports themed jerseys right before the ceremony!  Oh, how the mighty have fallen....Bao, dear:  "Get a GRIP".  You have a life to resume after this charade concludes.  Please try and maintain your dignity!!

[Elizzikra]

Quote

Rachel take it, she will declare herself back in love. You in danger, girl! 

Rachel falls in and out of love like I change my socks. 

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I give Brett a lot of credit for 'following through' on the one-mo. anniversary 'festivities' planned by Ryan (or Production!) so soon after suddenly losing her beloved Baxter.

Rest In Peace sweet Baxter! I felt so badly for Brett. I have lost a few dogs over the years and I don't know which is worse; having some warning that it's coming or having it come out of the blue, as it seemed to with Baxter. I could not have carried on with the date, especially with the last dog I lost. I'm not a crier but I cried and cried for days when he died.

Quote

What the hell is Ryan looking for?  He has a wonderful girl right in front of him.  A home girl, with a big heart.  WTF?  Give him a prostitute already, or a druggy.

There is a LOT of space between prostitute/drug addict and home girl with a big heart. I think Ryan is a nice guy. I think Brett is a nice woman. I think he is not physically attracted to her and that isn't developing as they spend time together. I don't think there is a lot one can do to make that happen if it's not there. I give Ryan a lot of credit for continuing to be nice to Brett and sticking out the "experiment." I think that he really doesn't want to hurt Brett but he doesn't want to spend the rest of his life with someone he just can't fall in love with. I don't blame him. I think he deserves love and physical attraction in a relationship. So does Brett. So does everyone.

Quote

Myrla walks dow the aisle stripper like, then doesn’t kiss him on the honeymoon.  Playing good girl games?

I think Myrla is an intelligent woman who realizes that what she wears doesn't obligate her to any particular type of behavior. I don't think she looked like a stripper at her wedding but it was a sexy gown. That doesn't mean that she wanted to have sex that night, or necessarily ever. Women can wear whatever they want and no one has any right to expect them to do annoying based on their clothing.

Quote

Also, I bet Myrla gets fat.  Money down she wouldn’t fit in her wedding gown at this point in show. Pair of thighs, that girl. 

I don't think that Myrla looks any bigger now than she did on her wedding day. I think she has a great figure. She was wearing a romper on Unfiltered and her figure looked amazing. That said, she may "get fat." I did. I had a pretty decent body in my 20s and early 30s. But things happen to some of us as we age, and well... Lucky me - the people who love me don't judge me.

Edited October 1, 2021 by Elizzikra

[Alexander Pope]

22 hours ago, Meowwww said:

I love Myrla and Gil.  She seems like she is complaining but it’s cute kind of.  Gil likes calling her out.  Maybe they are playing  for the cameras but I like them together. 
Michaela and Zach can be done any minute.  She’s scary. 

Michaela with that bright purple lipstick and fake good cheer when she wasn't doing salsa dancing was like an evil clown! she scared the heck out of me!

[LennieBriscoe]

I believe that for the rest of his life Ryan will think of Brett as The One That Got Away. He will rue the day.

The raison d'etre of the show is to match unmarried with suitable partners,  not their Usual Gang of Suspects who previously led to being.....unmarried!

That is, to opine that an MAFS spouse is not the other's type should be followed by "...thank God," not "Alas."

Brett, Bao, Rachel, and Michaela should cool their jets and focus much less on love and romance and "forever" while the men figure out what and whom they really want. No more Towers of Compliments; no more pleading "Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch Me (I Wanna Be Dirty)"; no more talk of apologies, either demanded or offered. 

IOW, be like their husbands. Or Myrla. Whichever. 

And speaking of whom: When Myrla ate the food at Gil's fancy one-month anniversary picnic,  she ate small bites. I mean, as long as we're mentioning eating style! 

 

 

Edited October 1, 2021 by LennieBriscoe

[Auntie Anxiety]

4 hours ago, buttersister said:

Whoever said Johnny will only be happy with a blow-up doll was 💯. Thinking same with Ryan. 

That was me. Johnny thinks he’s a real catch. But he’s an immature asshole who doesn’t know what he wants and his neediness is a real turn-off. Bao seems very desperate to me. 

I think Ryan is a nice guy and I do like that he doesn’t want to hurt Brett’s feelings. I believe we are all in agreement that she really is a lovely and caring person who would make a terrific wife and mother. So sad about Baxter. Losing your best friend is terribly upsetting. I had to put my dog down two years ago and I still miss her every day. ☹️

[Ms.C.]

Funny.  We all know the producers like drama.  Brett pointed it out herself early in yhe season. Paraphrased she said the couples seem more matched for their dissimilarities.  The best example is, of course, her and Ryan. I don’t blame him anymore.   He wanted a partner to share.  Brett will never be that hunting partner, free-wheeling, risk-taking fun-loving woman he expected.  She is, plainly, afraid of everything.  He’s finding himself more frustrated daily.  Can you blame him?  Or her?   I really like great matches.  They don’t bore me.  I hate it when they mess with good people who believe.  And as Washingtonian, I’m very unhappy with Pepper Schwartz.  She should know better.  

[endure]

On 9/29/2021 at 6:57 PM, Kiss my mutt said:

Bao doesn’t have a good read on johnny at all. It’s uncomfortable to watch and I’m cringing with him. 

They are equally cringeworthy and creepy imo.

[Auntie Anxiety]

I just had a very scary thought: Johnny being a parent. Can you imagine?

In my opinion, Johnny seems like a very damaged person who doesn’t want to admit it because he’s afraid it would reflect poorly on his parents.

[Lindz]

I knew from what Michaela was saying in the car, she was gunna quit the lesson. SHOCKER!! 😨 Not a good look. You're not there to watch! TF?! Salsa lessons are usually the husbands' kryptonite. 😅 Weird twist. She's still acting crazy. I feel like she did that, at least partly, because he said he didn't see a future & instead of resolving that, she decided to act out. Real mature.

P.S. That damn right nostril! Stays boogered!! 😂😂

[Lindz]

Gil & Myrla look like they think they're the best couple or editing is making them look like that with their commentary about the others. Gimme a break! 😂

Edited October 1, 2021 by Lindz

[Baltimore Betty]

4 hours ago, endure said:

They are equally cringeworthy and creepy imo.

Did Johnny say Bao wants sex multiple times a day?  I do not get that vibe from her at all, nothing says "sexual" about her to me.

[Lindz]

22 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

About Bao and her "lying" re: her "baking and cooking":

We see Bao telling her friend that, pre-marriage, she did much if not all of those culinary activities to show her love. I think later, in the moment at the MAFS group dinner, Bao rattled off this same comment, but in the specific context of her marriage, without thought---a mistake, yes, but I hesitate to call it a deliberate lie. More of a psychological truth as to how Bao feels belittled and unappreciated in her marriage, no matter what and how much she does. Johnny focuses on the tree of the comment rather than the forest of his wife's feelings.

Nah. She lied. She said, "I feel like I really have been trying. I'm giving it my all. I meal prep, I cook, I do gourmet meals, I bake, I do all these things in the house." Thinking of doing them is NOT doing them. Doing them once is NOT doing them. If it's not being done, it's not doing them. 😂 Perception may be reality, but facts are facts. They have two different realities & only care to complain about them & disagree with the other's. They're a mess. 😂 Regardless, that statement contributed nothing & actually worsened things between them. One more thing added to Johnny's list, rightfully so! 😂

[endure]

1 hour ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Did Johnny say Bao wants sex multiple times a day?  I do not get that vibe from her at all, nothing says "sexual" about her to me.

Maybe Johnny was trying to flatter himself by saying that?  The editing this season is really trying to confuse the viewers, it’s over the top and just annoying. 

[Ms.C.]

I’ve been catching up on three missed episodes.  Watching so many in sequence all at same time feels different.  I believe all will stay together except one for sure and one that’s a big maybe.   Rachel and Jose, Bao and Johnny, and Michaela and Zack.  Myrla and Gil are my question mark.  He’s clearly concerned about their divergent lifestyles, money and values.  He’s clearly truing but he’s not sold.  It’s a questioning thread that runs through their relationship on camera. 
 

obviously, since RYAN doesn’t even show up, they will separate.  they were a poor match IMO.  And it makes me very sad.    Seeing three two hour episodes in one long view is interesting  but exhausting.  And seeing the trendline for these five couples, kind of sad. 

[Lindz]

No wedding video & album for Zack & Michaela, Bao & Johnny, or Rachel & José. They even showed that with Paige last season & she was ALONE by then! COME ON! I really wanted to see them reading their lies vows. 😂

[Boo Boo]

18 hours ago, Spectator said:

I’m think Ryan would have really liked Amber from season 7 (?). Long blonde hair (real or fake…I don’t think he’d care as long as it was blonde). Goes yo the gym all the time. Yep, that pretty much rounds out his lists of legit requirements. As great as Brett is, I don’t think Ryan will ever see it.

 

Eh, she was never attractive, blonde hair or not.

I really don't think the problem is physical with Brett. Yeah, maybe she wasn't his physical type, and he expressed that to her friends (didn't Brett say the same thing though about him?) but I think it was the personality and that she's not the girl that is going to listen to country music and line dance.  She's not the one that's going hunting with him.  She had some sort of meltdown on the flight and isn't going to be the outgoing, adventurous type.  

I think she gives off the vibe of needy and needy isn't sexy.

3 hours ago, endure said:

Maybe Johnny was trying to flatter himself by saying that?  The editing this season is really trying to confuse the viewers, it’s over the top and just annoying. 

Oh right, that seems like a Johnny thing to lie about because it makes him seem oh so desirable.

[Boo Boo]

9 hours ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

I just had a very scary thought: Johnny being a parent. Can you imagine?

In my opinion, Johnny seems like a very damaged person who doesn’t want to admit it because he’s afraid it would reflect poorly on his parents.

I think he leaves them before they find out that there is something wrong with him.  And that's why he picks his GFs apart like they've got the plague -- he knows he's so damaged they won't stick around so he pre-emptively leaves.

 

[Starlight925]

Ryan is entitled to be attracted to what he's attracted to.

Look at his friends' wives/girlfriends.  Ryan wants one of those:  size 2 (or smaller), blonde or brunette, but has that sorority girl look, very petite features.  But he also wants intelligence.  And a girl who will spend weekends at the ranch.  

Honestly, not a tall order in Houston, but Ryan himself has had a hard time finding it.  I don't get it.

I mean, those girls are like ants all over Houston.  Yes, college educated, pixie doll attractive, and yes, up for cooking all the venison he brings home.  He seems to gravitate towards/attract the "potatoes", the beautiful but empty ones with no soul.  

But Brett just isn't it for him.  I do give him credit for not leading her on with false words, and for being cognizant enough to not hurt her feelings.  I feel bad for her, but better she find out sooner than much later.

[Retired at last]

I don't watch the Unfiltered show, but it sure sounds like Johnny is the one to spill the tea. There is usually some tidbit of gossip that gets posted whenever he is on. Has Bao ever been on? Michaela?

[Boo Boo]

25 minutes ago, Starlight925 said:

Ryan is entitled to be attracted to what he's attracted to.

Look at his friends' wives/girlfriends.  Ryan wants one of those:  size 2 (or smaller), blonde or brunette, but has that sorority girl look, very petite features.  But he also wants intelligence.  And a girl who will spend weekends at the ranch.  

Honestly, not a tall order in Houston, but Ryan himself has had a hard time finding it.  I don't get it.

I mean, those girls are like ants all over Houston.  Yes, college educated, pixie doll attractive, and yes, up for cooking all the venison he brings home.  He seems to gravitate towards/attract the "potatoes", the beautiful but empty ones with no soul.  

But Brett just isn't it for him.  I do give him credit for not leading her on with false words, and for being cognizant enough to not hurt her feelings.  I feel bad for her, but better she find out sooner than much later.

It's possible girls like he wants are all over Houston, but they don't want him.

I think he's attractive, but he's not some gorgeous cowboy either!

[Spectator]

23 minutes ago, Retired at last said:

Has Bao ever been on? Michaela?

Yep, they’ve both been on unfiltered before (I was sure Michaela had been as she wore a rather memorable dominatrix-ish outfit…it seems like Michaela desperately wants to be labeled as the fashion maven that Amani was, but she regularly misses the mark, in my opinion, and her clothing choices just look weird, or cheap, or both).

 

[Auntie Anxiety]

12 minutes ago, Retired at last said:

I don't watch the Unfiltered show, but it sure sounds like Johnny is the one to spill the tea. There is usually some tidbit of gossip that gets posted whenever he is on. Has Bao ever been on? Michaela?

Last night Johnny said that Bao wants to have sex multiple times a day and it’s like one more activity on the daily agenda that is expected, rather than something that they do when they are swept away in the moment. So basically, he implied that Bao is a nymphomaniac who cannot keep her hands off him (because he is so desirable <hahaha>) and he doesn’t like that even his small physical advances are taken by Bao to be preludes to getting laid.

Seems so ironic that Johnny is experiencing what so many women feel, that showing their spouse any kind of affection is a green light for intercourse. If Johnny and Bao stay together and have children, the pet, the house, etc. down the road, he’ll WISH she was this horny.

[Empress1]

13 minutes ago, Spectator said:

Yep, they’ve both been on unfiltered before (I was sure Michaela had been as she wore a rather memorable dominatrix-ish outfit…it seems like Michaela desperately wants to be labeled as the fashion maven that Amani was, but she regularly misses the mark, in my opinion, and her clothing choices just look weird, or cheap, or both).

 

What has Michaela got on? Save that for the club.

[Spectator]

13 hours ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Johnny thinks he’s a real catch.

I totally agree. I think both Johnny and Bao think they are close to perfect (to clarify, that they themselves are perfect, not each other). Johnny wants his wife to follow a precise script written by him (‘pursue me, initiate sex with me, but not as part of a routine, it needs to feel spontaneous, but it needs to be frequent. And it needs to be vanilla sex, and my wife needs to be the aggressor. Oh, and my wife needs to be sure to have showered first, and doesn’t giggle and serves as the “big spoon” when we’re done.’). Whereas Bao has deluded herself into believing that the wife she wants to be is the wife she actually is (that she is the one trying so hard, cooking gourmet meals, baking, etc.) plus she has lofty expectations for her ideal husband as well (Nobel Prize winning!?!). They both believe they deserve better than what they got from the MAFS experts. So now they are just trying to show the viewers that they are the “prize” within the relationship. They both feel like they were matched with a spouse that is not worthy of their own perfection. Doomed.

Edited October 1, 2021 by Spectator

[greeneyedscorpio]

20 hours ago, Retired at last said:

I think that Kevin F lost all credibility as a moderator/facilitator when he started taking sides. I would be more than happy to see Gil give it a try. Kevin has ruined the reunion shows for me. He is supposed to be neutral - not pick his favorites and try to lampoon the other party. Yes, he should challenge the stories he doesn't believe (see Chris or Zack or Michael/Brandon), but not take sides (see Haley and Paige).

Yeah, and on the halfway show the other night he sided with Michaela.  Is he not watching the same show we are?  

[thatsall]

15 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I think Myrla is an intelligent woman who realizes that what she wears doesn't obligate her to any particular type of behavior. I don't think she looked like a stripper at her wedding but it was a sexy gown. That doesn't mean that she wanted to have sex that night, or necessarily ever. Women can wear whatever they want and no one has any right to expect them to do annoying based on their clothing.

100%. A person walking down the street naked, while likely ill-advised, is not necessarily indicating to the world anything about whether or not they want to have sex. Anyone who doesn't get this, please do your best to not influence the thinking of others, especially children of any gender. For humans to make any progress at all, the former culture of thinking needs to change. 

[thatsall]

1 hour ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Last night Johnny said that Bao wants to have sex multiple times a day and it’s like one more activity on the daily agenda that is expected, rather than something that they do when they are swept away in the moment. So basically, he implied that Bao is a nymphomaniac who cannot keep her hands off him (because he is so desirable <hahaha>) and he doesn’t like that even his small physical advances are taken by Bao to be preludes to getting laid.

I can't reconcile this with Bao relaying that Johnny wants her to be more literally hands-on, and Johnny stating that Bao doesn't participate in enough verbal foreplay throughout the day to organically lead to sex. How, then, is he getting the message that she wants sex multiple times a day; and if he's not down, does he perceive he's being forced? *confused*

[Vanderboom]

On 9/30/2021 at 10:26 AM, cinsays said:

I would love him to take either role and replace these 2 guys!

Gil is a little superior and annoying, but he definitely asks the good questions. But I was actually yelling at the screen when he was chiding Michaela: "DANGER! DANGER! Michaela is NOT Myrla! ABORT! ABORT!"

 

On 9/30/2021 at 11:26 AM, Rambunctiouscurls said:

Jose’s apology was crap and his use of flash cards to demonstrate contrition was laughable but hey not only will Rachel take it, she will declare herself back in love. You in danger, girl!

Maybe Rachel will decide in the next month that she deserves better, and that no amount of school supplies can make up for basic levels of respect, even during a fight.

 

21 hours ago, Retired at last said:

@Spectator, . . . I'm pretty sure that all of those dates were producer set-ups, but I think only Ryan could have come up with the clues for that scavenger hunt. I feel bad for him because he knows he doesn't feel the way she does and he hates knowing that he will hurt her. I like dry sarcasm and I like him, but, unfortunately, not for her. I can only hope that he will, some day, realize what he had and then it won't be too late. I just don't think that will happen in 4 weeks. That time they hugged, it looked like a really good hug, but I wish he had held her more after she had to take Baxter to the vet.😭

This is so true. The term "irreconcilable differences" gets thrown around a lot, but that's true here. There isn't a bad guy in this marriage, but they just don't work as a couple.

 

8 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Did Johnny say Bao wants sex multiple times a day?  I do not get that vibe from her at all, nothing says "sexual" about her to me.

It's probably on her spreadsheet? Maybe Bao should have been matched with Jose.  A (married) friend of mine once described a compatible relationship as "finding someone's whose crazy lines up well with your crazy." Johnny and Bao's . . . quirks just seem like they will eventually end up hating each other.

Edited October 1, 2021 by Vanderboom

[Crashcourse]

42 minutes ago, Vanderboom said:

Gil is a little superior and annoying, but he definitely asks the good questions. But I was actually yelling at the screen when he was chiding Michaela: "DANGER! DANGER! Michaela is NOT Myrla! ABORT! ABORT!"

You got that right!  Michaela would have him hauling his ass to the fire station for help! 😱🤣

[Retired at last]

1 hour ago, Vanderboom said:

Johnny and Bao's . . . quirks just seem like they will eventually end up hating each other.

If you look at Johnny's face, he is already there.

[mythoughtis]

3 hours ago, thatsall said:

100%. A person walking down the street naked, while likely ill-advised, is not necessarily indicating to the world anything about whether or not they want to have sex. Anyone who doesn't get this, please do your best to not influence the thinking of others, especially children of any gender. For humans to make any progress at all, the former culture of thinking needs to change. 

You are correct.  No one has the right to touch you because of how you dress.  However, my personal opinion is that since you are free to dress like that then I am also free  to decide you are not someone I care to be around because you have  no respect for yourself.  A business owner is free not to hire you if you show up for an interview because you don’t project the image they want their  employees  to have.  Etc etc.  

The way Myrla dresses on unfiltered and on some episodes combined with her constant whining and emphasis on her desires being the only ones important  means I don’t want to  be around her  

Bretts’ dressing the way she did in the first few episodes would have caused me not to establish a friendship with her.    Which would be a  shame since she seems to be a very special person. 

Yes, I know I’m judgemental.  I’m also an older woman who doesn’t get into elevators when the man in them appears off. Making judgements isn’t always bad. 

Edited October 1, 2021 by mythoughtis

[Lindz]

Good on Zack for keeping cool & continuing on when Michaela refused to dance. Good on Gil for pointing out that's a bad indicator for their marriage. 😂

[Lindz]

Such a shame they can't even talk! They're either too afraid of upsetting the other or they just don't care, both are bad. Zack said they're moving forward, while Michaela said they're not. That's how she got him to talk about it? By acting stupid? Real mature. That ish could've been her last strike & she did it KNOWINGLY. She said she could've tried, but she didn't want to (AND CHOSE NOT TO). WHO would feel comfortable proceeding with someone like that??!! Is it intentional self-sabotage? She's afraid he'll hurt her, so she acts out to make him leave? That's healthy.

[JocelynCavanaugh]

I feel like I missed something about Ryan. When did he indicate that he's a cowboy who likes cowgirls? Hunting, fishing, two-stepping, playing golf, listening to Wade Bowen/Pat Green/Townes van Zandt, and dressing a bit fratty is just baseline "white guy from Texas who went to college for Business." (Obviously, these things can apply to other people in some combination -- not the point.) I bet he wears North Face fleeces with shorts, loafers and no socks, and owns a favorite drink cooler, too. If you've lived in Texas in your teens and twenties, there is a better than 50% chance you've been forced to two-step at some point. It is the dance of our people. Hanging out on ranches is equally likely, considering how much of our land is designated as "ranches." They're hard to avoid. I used to drive past South Fork on my way home from work. But maybe he did say "I am a blank-faced cowboy looking for my stoic lady pardner" and I didn't hear it?

The promo materials that have everybody (except Zach?) yee-hawed up in ropers and lassos aren't helping anything, but it looks just as dissonant on Ryan as on any of them. However, he does win the Chuck Norris Lookalike contest hands-down. Brett looks like the mascot for a minor fast-food chain, Rachel looks like Deb from Napoleon Dynamite going to square dance lessons, Bao looks like Aunt Becky on vacation, Johnny looks like an extra from Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, Jose looks like the guy in the unwelcome mariachi band who won't GO TF AWAY from your table until you tip him at least $5, and Gil is rocking it but in the way that makes you think that the outfit is... detachable. 

Edited October 2, 2021 by JocelynCavanaugh

[LennieBriscoe]

JocelynCavenaugh:

"It is the dance of our people." 😄😄😄  Up in my neck of the Penn's Woods we do the polka vunst, say naw! 

Gil's "outfit is...detachable." 😱😁😉 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maybe Ryan gets those Texas Thumbelinas to his boudoir, but maybe being stared at by a dead deer head guarantees no return. 

 

[Starlight925]

Yeah, I completely agree with @JocelynCavanaugh about Ryan.  He's just your average Texas frat boy who probably grew up hunting and spending time on ranches because, well, there's so many of them in Texas.

As to why he goes out with so many "potatoes" (super attractive but no substance), and why they gravitate towards him, is very simple:  he's educated and financially successful. And yeah, he's got access to a ranch.  He's had his job for 8+ years, which lends to stability.  He's a good 'ol boy with a college degree.  And he's into golf, which is an attractive thing for girls like the ones he likes.

Brett just doesn't meet any of this, and I unfortunately saw it before they walked down the aisle.  He was attracted in the moment, but he's never going to feel it for her.

[Alexander Pope]

2 hours ago, Starlight925 said:

Yeah, I completely agree with @JocelynCavanaugh about Ryan.  He's just your average Texas frat boy who probably grew up hunting and spending time on ranches because, well, there's so many of them in Texas.

As to why he goes out with so many "potatoes" (super attractive but no substance), and why they gravitate towards him, is very simple:  he's educated and financially successful. And yeah, he's got access to a ranch.  He's had his job for 8+ years, which lends to stability.  He's a good 'ol boy with a college degree.  And he's into golf, which is an attractive thing for girls like the ones he likes.

Brett just doesn't meet any of this, and I unfortunately saw it before they walked down the aisle.  He was attracted in the moment, but he's never going to feel it for her.

the most attractive Ryan ever looked to me was when he was taking shots at the driving range.  He knew what he was doing and wasn't making a big deal of it.  I enjoy that understated, confident side of him.

[JocelynCavanaugh]

1 hour ago, Alexander Pope said:

the most attractive Ryan ever looked to me was when he was taking shots at the driving range.  He knew what he was doing and wasn't making a big deal of it.  I enjoy that understated, confident side of him.

I enjoyed the other guys’ reactions! 

[Blissfool]

On 9/30/2021 at 5:04 PM, Lindz said:

Good on Johnny for not going in on her for lying at the table. If only he could've held it together. 😅

He always sulks and walks away during the group gatherings, forcing Jose to go comfort him.

Who's the victim now? (And, no, I don't mean Jose) 

 

On 9/30/2021 at 6:52 PM, pdlinda said:

Isn't it GREAT that they never consummated the marriage so each may venture forth to find his/her 

Nah, I wanted them to consummate it. Brett wanted her some of that and I wish she had gotten it. 

They're both good people, anyway. No harm, no foul.

On 9/30/2021 at 9:37 PM, LennieBriscoe said:

I believe that for the rest of his life Ryan will think of Brett as The One That Got Away. He will rue the day.

We know she's "the one!"

 

Re: Gil's questioning. Amani used to do the same thing and it used to bug me to no end. I think a producer puts them up to it.

Re: Gil's white pants. Were they worse than Jose's red pants? (BTW, I noticed that all the men tried to look dapper at the dinner. Johnny, not so much, with his basic khakis and untucked button-down blue shirt.)

 

[Crashcourse]

29 minutes ago, Blissfool said:

Re: Gil's white pants. Were they worse than Jose's red pants? (BTW, I noticed that all the men tried to look dapper at the dinner. Johnny, not so much, with his basic khakis and untucked button-down blue shirt.)

Well Jose's made sense in case he spilled ketchup on them.  😅

Gil's?  Not so much. 🤣  

[Kiss my mutt]

4 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

Well Jose's made sense in case he spilled ketchup on them.  😅

Gil's?  Not so much. 🤣  

Or got his period. Oops!

[Alexander Pope]

5 hours ago, Blissfool said:

He always sulks and walks away during the group gatherings, forcing Jose to go comfort him.

Jose looked VERY uncomfortable and embarrassed comforting Johnny this time around.  When Bao came out to get in the Uber it was excruciatingly awkward.  Maybe Jose realizes he's in over his head with the mess that is Johnny, and maybe he also realizes that he is not exactly in a position to give advice given what he did to Rachel (which was clear to Ryan!).

[Elizzikra]

Quote

Re: Gil's white pants. Were they worse than Jose's red pants? (BTW, I noticed that all the men tried to look dapper at the dinner. Johnny, not so much, with his basic khakis and untucked button-down blue shirt.)

Wasn't Jose wearing the red pants with a pink shirt? The red pants alone didn't bother me.

I thought Ryan looked like a groomsman.

I loved Bao's outfit.

[LuvMyShows]

On 9/29/2021 at 9:03 PM, LennieBriscoe said:

I don't know why Michaela thinks that being chipper in her uncooperativeness makes it palatable. It was not a good look, especially  when added to her other bouts of non-participation. 

Such a great way to word it, and it was sooo bizarre.  

On 9/30/2021 at 10:27 PM, Alexander Pope said:

Michaela with that bright purple lipstick and fake good cheer when she wasn't doing salsa dancing was like an evil clown! 

I also thought she looked like a clown, and tried to figure out why.  In addition to the bright purple lipstick, her hair was done in such a way that it stuck out far on either side of her head.  I like the addition of 'evil' in front of clown!

On 9/30/2021 at 2:11 AM, Ms.C. said:

Michaela is very immature/insecure.  And she’s on camera. Remember last year another guy wasn’t comfortable with salsa either.  

It was Vincent, and the difference was that he admitted that he wasn't very good at it and that made him uncomfortable, and I think that was also when he said he weighed more than he wanted to so that made him uncomfortable in what he was wearing.  Mikaela proudly gave no reason whatsoever.

On 9/30/2021 at 5:12 PM, Retired at last said:

I like Ryan and I wish he could see the lovely lady he has in Brett, but maybe we aren't seeing how anxious she is all the time. It seems like she has mellowed and "feels safe" and is not as anxious as she was in the beginning, but maybe the producers aren't showing that.

I'm really confused by this.  He frequently talks about it, and even referenced the kayaking.  But we saw the kayaking, and her concern about the manatees, and it was very low-key anxious...which he was actually exacerbating by trying to force her to look at them.  Dude, she's already doing the activity that you want to do, which is making her uncomfortable...cut her some slack.  I have no doubt she was more anxious on the airplane, but I seriously doubt it rose to the level of being loud enough to be embarrassing and warrant stewardess intervention.  I think he just doesn't want to hear it, at all.  I also think she may be the type who processes out loud, and he doesn't, so I think he may give unnecessary weight or significance to every little thing she says.