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S12.E10: Third Week's a Charm


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11 hours ago, Straycat80 said:

Clara and Ryan are doing everything but ‘intercourse’. And Dr. Vivi just went there and wonders if Ryan still has his V card. Hmmm. 

Not very professional of her to put that out there on tv, but she's not very professional anyway. Apparently just wants to show off her wardrobe and hair styles.

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11 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

No wonder Paige is making faces. That’s an expensive car. Next he’s going to be telling her about the Diamond he bought her as a push present for bringing his King or Queen into the world. Nah, he plans to be with Baby Mama and drive that Benz. 

until it's repossessed

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2 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

What was just out of camera was a Booz-ala-poolza...Production’s reward for Ginny’s sober-ish session with Viv.

Her DT (delirium tremens), twitching and spastic tics made me twitchy just watching....

That girl looks rough, the twitchy stuff is hard to watch, her sense of fashion high lights how the booze is treating her body.  Did you see the display of chips and crap food in bags on the counter, how much stuff could be in the cabinets of their temp rental that they ran out of room in the kitchen cabinets?  Virginia is the walking embodiment of kitchen clutter.

Jake has his mind made up, his internal dialogue will keep him from anything but his fatalistic, self fulfilling prophesy of all relationships end badly because the girl did not fall in love at first sight or on his time line.  I get it, everyone wants to be loved but he has not had success so he sabotages relationships before they can get off the ground, Hayley senses his neediness and runs the other way.  Confidence is a very attractive quality but Hayley can smell the desperation and the onions all over Jake.

Clara has got to forget about sex, it is not important to Ryan at this point, I do not think Clara understands what being on the same page means.  I'd stop the hanky panky till I knew if Ryan really wanted me but Clara has her self worth wrapped up in sex, how disappointing in this day and age a woman feels like she still has to put out on any level to have a man love her.

Paige and Chris, please go away. Paige I swear your baby whisper voice makes me stabby and Chris you are a bad liar, there is no baby and no baby Mercedes, you didn't buy/rent/lease a Mercedes, not without Paige's credit rating, lol. So you wanted a bible study date but did not prepare anything.  If they ended that fried chicken bible study date in bed I hope Paige finds herself knock up.

Vinny, meh. Brianna needs someone who will let her be herself...I hope she can walk on eggshells.

Side note, I do not want to watch the Unmatchable show, one of which says she does not know how to kiss., I do not want to watch that awkward mess...scraping the bottom of the barrel is a real thing on Discovery +. Blech.

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42 minutes ago, Cancun said:

I’m going to rewatch, but I think we saw an entire episode without Ginny drinking?? Is that possible?!  Really, not much drinking from any of the cast this episode. I wonder if they were instructed “no alcohol during Viv’s serious working session with them.

I stand corrected. Although technically, we didn’t see Ginny drink the drink, it was near at hand.12EE4DBF-FAF8-4D4D-8EA4-C7E920B47980.thumb.jpeg.12f09fba9d6993ad4e6c0a6563814016.jpeg

And that fruit & chocolate tray was a messy wreck, just like Ginny!

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25 minutes ago, Cancun said:

I stand corrected. Although technically, we didn’t see Ginny drink the drink, it was near at hand.12EE4DBF-FAF8-4D4D-8EA4-C7E920B47980.thumb.jpeg.12f09fba9d6993ad4e6c0a6563814016.jpeg

And that fruit & chocolate tray was a messy wreck, just like Ginny!

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Aw she was trying. I think their conversation at the end was really good. They at least were listening to each other. Hopefully he can bend on some of his issues because I do feel like they are really trying. 

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14 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

I was shocked that Virginia looked clean.   

So why didn't Vincent apologize to Brianna sooner?  Why did it have to be public?  

Oh that's right.  TV.

I respectfully disagree.  VA NEVER looks clean.

Speaking of VA.  When she was sitting at the computer, didn't everyone wonder what was in that pink cup?  Couldn't see through it, but I would give my left arm to know what she was drinking. 

13 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

I don't care for Haley's lacquer lipstick.

Or some of these questions. 

I thought the same of Clara.

 

Clara, please, for all that is holy--BLOT YOUR LIPS.  They are all I can seen.  

For the record, I wear only matte lipstick. 

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13 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

I am thinking about Clara, she obviously needs a man to validate her sexuality and if she and Ryan were dating she would expect second or third date nookie and if it didn't happen she would not see him anymore.  She might have a really bad self image and thinks sex equates love.

Ryan says he needs trust to have sex with her, geeze they are married what does he not trust about her?

Ryan seems like he does not know about sex and Clara is so heavy handed maybe he thinks he could not satisfy this worldly woman he married. He just might be intimidated.

Clara does not know the difference between romance and sex, I think Ryan needs romance.

 

If Ryan doesn’t want sex at any point, he wants to trust her not to go out and get it from another.  Apparently, she needs sex often, so she better buy a crate full of donuts.

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13 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

See, right there, Jake waited up for Hayley knowing she told him she would not be home, why does he have to be the sad sack all the time?

 

Because she rather be with the girlfriends all the time?  Now, she’s up to sleepovers too.  They should call it a day.  She’s painful to watch.

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13 hours ago, Straycat80 said:

Clara and Ryan are doing everything but ‘intercourse’. And Dr. Vivi just went there and wonders if Ryan still has his V card. Hmmm. 

Maybe he wants her to get tested first.  She’s been around the system.  A lot it seems.

13 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

I think Eric is used to getting his own way. He wants kids and he wants them soon. If he doesn’t get what he wants it’s over. I think that’s why he’s trying to hold back a smirk on his face. 

OMG, the perfect Mother.  She’s still a child herself.   Sorry to be a downer, but this bunch is very illmatched.  What were they thinking?  We all could do a better job interviewing.  She would have to stop drinking.  Would she do that?

Edited by Silver Bells
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Jake and Clara should have been matched up instead.  On the very first night, Clara would have grabbed his pecker with those claws, jumped his bones, and after two hours left him whimpering in the corner and sucking his thumb.   It would have served him right.

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16 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

Jake and Clara should have been matched up instead.  On the very first night, Clara would have grabbed his pecker with those claws, jumped his bones, and after two hours left him whimpering in the corner and sucking his thumb.   It would have served him right.

They were a better match.  He would probably had lots of sex, and I don’t think all his 70s things would bother her at all.  His house either.  Those aren’t things that should stop a relationship.  They are just material things and not enough to divorce for.  Plus, she’s very talkative and he isn’t, so opposites do attract at times.  Haley wants all the pluses in a guy.  There’s no such guy, unless he’s a wimpy yes man, which she wouldn’t like either.

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Imma thinking how did Clarabelle not already have, ravaged and forgotten about Grampy Jake?

Isn't neon a color of the rainbow?

 Jake wants love, y'all!

The man has had plenty of meaningless sex...he wants "fillings".....

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Virginia is reluctant to have children because pregnancy = no drinking.

Clara should be offered therapy for her inability to link sex with intimacy. She’s very damaged. If sex is meaningless, then Ryan might as well be a male blowup doll. I also wonder exactly where Ryan falls on the Kinsey Scale.

Paige is an idiot. I don’t care if she signed a contract to stay with Chris for the run of the show. Buy some self-respect, Paige. Or get Chris to buy you some, since he seems to have plenty of money to throw around.

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And I thought LAST week was painful to watch. This week was excruciating. I think I will skip the next 2 or 3. Nothing changes. The boring couple is still boring. Once Briana starts with the baby talk, I switch over to reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond. (Did she really say she dared him to pick her nose???)

Re: Clara. If it is true that she has never felt any emotion during sex, even with someone she claims to love, I think she needs the most therapy of everyone. And I agree with others who mentioned a former sexual abuse in her past, as well as her behaving like a sex worker/porn star. I feel really sad for her. I am glad that Ryan is sticking to his principles and beliefs, though. IF they can work through this, they would both be love virgins and it might be wonderful for them. But, Clara needs a whole lot of therapy first, though (and not the Dr. Viv kind). By the way, did Ryan say anything at all during this show? I may have been watching Raymond.

I have gone from liking Erik to being over him. He has to lecture and be the focus of every conversation, even telling Ginny what she she thinks and how he knows she wouldn't do this or that (he doesn't know anything! They just met!). She spoke a little, but mostly just ended up with her standard, "yeah," after his lengthy speeches. His demands and expectations are going to take their toll and she is not prepared, emotionally, for a real relationship.

I just can't even try to watch Paige and Chris. At least she is starting to give him some grief and show that she is not buying his act. I give her credit for that, but I still think she might really want it to work. Hey, maybe Vinnie got Chris a good deal on the Mercedes? I wish that Haley would have told the truth. She kind of tried, but she could have just told Viv that it was never going to happen. Why would Viv assign them more physical activity (kissing) when she knows that Haley detests him - that is abuse to me. And, he just doesn't stop. She got back into their bed and he wants to start getting physical already. I get it - he likes her and they are married, but she doesn't want him. I hope they finalize it next week. Too bad they couldn't manage to do this as friends, but I see now that Jake just can't, even though he suggested it. She keeps giving him hope, so that's on her.

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1 minute ago, Retired at last said:

And I thought LAST week was painful to watch. This week was excruciating. I think I will skip the next 2 or 3. Nothing changes.

I am the sea faring warning system... this is "the doldrums" phase of MAFS...reoccurs every season..we will drift around in circles...

This will test the mettle of the most loyal stubborn to a fault MAFS fan...but hang in there...

MAFS is the basic cable teevee equivalent of The Hotel California....you can check out anytime you like but you can never leave....

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14 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

I hate it when people know you're coming to visit and they don't hold their dog back from jumping on you.

Preach. I'm courier. I don't like animals but a lot of people have them so you must be prepared. But, I'm constantly annoyed by how many open their doors without having their pet restrained. It's why I barely get signatures at houses anymore. I ring, walk away and wait to see if a customer comes for the package. I've had to deal with too many dogs I shouldn't have to worry about. Don't get me started on people who leave their dogs unleashed in a open yard. I had four dogs from different houses run to my truck the other day with no human around. It's wild.

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(edited)

Haley should have told Viv to kiss Jake her own damn self then pucker up and kiss her ass...

Just getting into the same bed with Jake when Haley's  instincts is telling her to stay away is f*cked...

Hope Haley goes into her own bed, grabs her doggie and locks the door when the crew leaves...

 Jake will use Viv's idiotic advice as an excuse to blame Haley for not trying when he should just accept the fact that Haley's skin crawls when he is too close....

Edited by humbleopinion
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15 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

 

Just getting into the same bed with Jake when Haley's  instincts is telling her to stay away is f*cked...

 

What makes it worse is that the beds are soooooo small.  You are literally right next to each other.  I can't imagine turning and not touching the other person. 

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14 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Haley has been doing all the work?  How could that be?  She’s gone half the time with the girlfriends.  She was busted with Dr.Viviana, so she had to cry.  If you don’t need the money,leave now.  It’s pathetic watching her.  She is in pain just sitting there with Jake, and it’s very obvious.  He should have told the doctor what she did all along.  That was very important.  She is not trying at all. He’s gentleman enough not to blow the whistle on her.  That was a wasted visit.  She wasn’t honest.

SB, like you, I've been in Jacob's corner since the beginning, and thought Haley wasn't even trying.  But something she said last episode really made me think.  She said there's no fun in the relationship....that they never laugh or joke around.  It's just serious all the time.  Now maybe it's the editing, but I agree with her in that respect and I blame Jake for a lot of it.  Again, maybe editing, but he's always either got a glum look on his face or a sarcastic smirk.  By his own admission, he says he's never been in to giving women flowers or gifts.  This season and throughout the years, we've seen the guys do nice things for their wives and plan surprises.  Jake is like a big stick in the mud.  Haley went to the effort of getting him some updated clothes.  Yes, some of that was for her benefit, but she did at least try and I'm not seeing him do much of anything. 

Jake is pissed because they had sex and she immediately pulled away from him and hasn't moved one iota back towards him since.  His ego is hurt...there's no other way to read it than that she didn't like the sex.   Anybody would be hurt by that, especially when he can see with his own eyes that she's not attracted to him.  He tries to hide it, but I see a lot of pent up anger behind those sarcastic smirks.  Does he really want to be with her?  Does he see her as a person he could have a family with and grow old with, or does he keep pushing for more intimacy and physical contact because he needs affirmation that he is good in the sack?  

I think at this point all the balls are in Haley's court and she needs to be honest with him.  She needs to voice aloud what Jake already knows...she does not nor never will be attracted to him physically (but say it in a nicer way, LOL).  Then play out the next few weeks and have some fun.  They both like hiking and sailing....go do something like that together.  Then on D-Day part friendly and don't air any dirty laundry.  Be classy.

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I had my suspicions about Erik from the moment he kept saying his family was conservative. As a Black woman and an immigrant, Erik's statement that he doesn't care about social issues sent chills down my spine. He must have been itching to yell "all lives matter", when Ryan was wearing his BLM t-shirts last week.

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14 hours ago, Empress1 said:

So did Mindy. Breaking up & continuing to film is apparently allowed.

Yeah they did, & if Haley has watched other seasons she knows that Heather walked so the show gave her the bitch edit; Mindy had enough of Zach's BS (& so had the audience), & she got a good edit.  She says one thing for the cameras & 'experts' then dodges Jake AMAP.  It's the jerking-Jake-around-game. He's forced to play pretend "marriage" on teevee but looks creepy for doing so - fun times I'm sure.

'Dr.' Viv is playing too, with that insane suggestion they should do anything physical. Let's just make Jake look extra creepy when he suggests they take her advice that Haley sat there & agreed to.  When Viv just stops in later (yeah okay) to check on how Haley feels about this Jake isn't involved. She knows Haley needs to cut the guy loose but that wouldn't be good for the show. Great 'therapist'. 

Another low moment for 'Dr.' Viv was suggesting to Clara that Ryan might have been dishonest about his sexual history & possibly be a virgin. So she just accused the man (who they chose for Clara) of being a virgin & a liar on TV, while he's not there to speak for himself. Unprofessional doesn't even begin to describe her.

I'm uncomfortable with pushing men to have sex with their wives if they're not ready, or suggesting there's something wrong with them if they don't want to or if the wife pulls back afterward - other way around would be awful so it's just as bad for the guys.

Clara doesn't necessarily have issues with sex - women getting bonded through sex is an unfair stereotype. I do think she's searching for something real though, because she says "L" to men so often, but maybe it's not quite "falling in love" for her, whatever that means either. And I think she can end up really loving Ryan, even if sex is always just a carnal thing for her, which is what it is anyway, & I'm sure he won't complain too much. 🙄 😉

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1 minute ago, JapMo said:

Jake is pissed because they had sex and she immediately pulled away from him and hasn't moved one iota back towards him since.  His ego is hurt...there's no other way to read it than that she didn't like the sex.   Anybody would be hurt by that, especially when he can see with his own eyes that she's not attracted to him.  He tries to hide it, but I see a lot of pent up anger

Jake is seething with anger from past women's injustices and from Haley's post coital rejection and revulsion...

He plays a broken record in his head of Haley's sins and slights upon him....

Why he keeps asking her about any increase in physical attraction is squashed just by whining about it constantly....

The attraction meter is still at -1000 Bazillion.

It soared to -999 Bazillion when he tried on the blue checkered shirt but that was fleeting...

Why didn't he reciprocate with "Thanks for the clothes" flowers?

Does Jake think he is Christian Grey with the "I don't do flowers" routine....

Jake... Haley wants kind and thoughtful gestures...not your smart ass comments...

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16 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Haley has been doing all the work?  How could that be?  She’s gone half the time with the girlfriends.  She was busted with Dr.Viviana, so she had to cry.  If you don’t need the money,leave now.  It’s pathetic watching her.  She is in pain just sitting there with Jake, and it’s very obvious.  He should have told the doctor what she did all along.  That was very important.  She is not trying at all. He’s gentleman enough not to blow the whistle on her.  That was a wasted visit.  She wasn’t honest.

The clips they showed of Haley "doing all the work" was her asking him if he wanted a beer, then him saying no and her saying, "you're going to make me drink alone?"  (He did end up sitting down and drinking a beer with her).  The other clip was her giving him new clothes bc she hates his.  Cut to her crying about how much work she's put into the marriage.  🙄

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16 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

Oh, he sees it.  He just isn't into having sex with her, at least not right now.

As Clara cleary stated he's willing to do and has done everything else. Now, I don't know if that means they both did everything else to each other or just she did or he did or whatever. That makes him a scumbag in my book. Just fuck the girl already and stop with the deep connection, true love getting to know you bullshit. You have already gotten to know each other. Very well, it seems. 

Love Viviana: Do you think he might be a virgin? Seriously could not believe she asked Clara that!

I was liking Erik and Vinny again. That changes from week to week. My dislike for Chris and Ryan stays the same and I always liked poor, clueless Jake and thought he actually looked kind of handsome in his black and red checkered flannel shirt. Wonder if Haley bought that one for him. Oh, and she has no intention to kiss him hello in the morning or good night in the evening. Nice try, Viv, not gonna happen! 

Virgingin talks so damn fast! I have to use subtitles with her (and mush mouth Chris) Is she on adderall or something? 

Edited by bichonblitz
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10 minutes ago, spunky said:

I had my suspicions about Erik from the moment he kept saying his family was conservative.

I made assumptions about his political affiliation when I saw Southern, military, and money in his background. Then he and his mother kept repeating that they were a Southern conservative traditional family, which reinforced my thinking. Then in one of the honeymoon episodes, Virginia brought up with the women that she's liberal and he's conservative - that's when she mentioned that her sister is gay - so my suspicions were confirmed. I think it's a bigger issue for her than she's letting on (she looked very hurt when he told her "I believe what I believe and that's it"), but she's trying not to rock the boat. (If she comes from a conservative family, as she said, she might be used to not rocking the boat with them too now that she's gone in a different direction politically.) I also think she's a little intimidated by Erik - he's really paternalistic and he was talking down to her a lot this episode and I don't think she's mature enough to push back.

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40 minutes ago, JapMo said:

SB, like you, I've been in Jacob's corner since the beginning, and thought Haley wasn't even trying.  But something she said last episode really made me think.  She said there's no fun in the relationship....that they never laugh or joke around. 

On the honeymoon they were going to a dinner together & Haley said "You are so much fun", so either she was lying, or Jake wasn't such a dud at one time. Then she didn't invite him to their little gathering & didn't apologize for hurting his feelings, even though he apologized for being hurt, & even changes her seat on the plane not to sit with Jake.  I can understand that being a downer for him.

She bought shirts with the intention of trying to find him attractive. That's not nice or generous - it's self-serving shitty behavior, & would be had a man done that to a woman on this show as well.

13 minutes ago, greeneyedscorpio said:

The clips they showed of Haley "doing all the work" was her asking him if he wanted a beer, then him saying no and her saying, "you're going to make me drink alone?"  (He did end up sitting down and drinking a beer with her).  The other clip was her giving him new clothes bc she hates his.  Cut to her crying about how much work she's put into the marriage.  🙄

Yeah, exactly. 🙄 FFS

Edited by gonecrackers
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7 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

On the honeymoon they were going to a dinner together & Haley said "You are so much fun", so either she was lying, or Jake wasn't such a dud at one time. Then she didn't invite him to their little gathering & didn't apologize for hurting his feelings, even though he apologized for being hurt, & even changes her seat on the plane not to sit with Jake.  I can understand that being a downer for him.

She bought shirts with the intention of trying to find him attractive. That's not nice or generous - it's self-serving shitty behavior, & would be had a man done that to a woman on this show as well.

Yeah, exactly. 🙄 FFS

So why didn’t Jake bring all this evidence to the expert?  He just sat there.  Maybe because she put on the water works?  Those were all good points he should have brought up.  He just sat there and took it, because he’s a gentleman.  Then, she doesn’t follow instructions about kissing him good night.  She should just leave if he’s so repulsive.  She’s a cold fish.  But, like they say, “ when you know, you know”.

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So, Haley basically tells the therapist that she has changed everything about Jake and how wonderful Jake has been about changing and her reaction is "that's what a husband does" or something like that?  Hey, why the fuck should Jake have to change nearly everything about him?  I mean, if Jake was making Haley dress the way he wants to forget about her passions he finds weird, would the therapist be saying that was a great thing?  

 

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When they were talking sexual positions, watching Ryan's reactions, did anyone else think of the "bags of sand" scene in 40 Year Old Virgin?  i really doubt that he is and I'm with everyone else -- Clara's hyperintense focus on sex w/o emotional commitment is odd.

 

 

 

Edited by Boo Boo
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I dunno - not being attracted to someone doesn't necessarily make one a "cold fish". Haley's body is her own, and she shouldn't feel like she has to put it into situations that make her uncomfortable, such as kissing or sharing a bed with someone who quite obviously repulses her. I'm a big "listen to your instincts" kind of gal. If, after three weeks, she's not feeling it, she probably isn't going to, so why override her instincts just because some teevee "expert" tells her she should or because Jake glowers and makes a combination of passive aggressive and outwardly aggressive remarks about his dissatisfaction with how things are?

Haley actually has the body language of someone who feels unsafe in her situation. I'm a little surprised she's agreeing to cohabitate with him at all. 

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So, I figure Haley has been with the friends about five times in two weeks ..no?  Once over night.  That’s trying?  Why are you crying Haley?  Guilty?  If you can’t stand him, go to your apartment and stop him for hoping.

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42 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

I made assumptions about his political affiliation when I saw Southern, military, and money in his background. Then he and his mother kept repeating that they were a Southern conservative traditional family, which reinforced my thinking. Then in one of the honeymoon episodes, Virginia brought up with the women that she's liberal and he's conservative - that's when she mentioned that her sister is gay - so my suspicions were confirmed. I think it's a bigger issue for her than she's letting on (she looked very hurt when he told her "I believe what I believe and that's it"), but she's trying not to rock the boat. (If she comes from a conservative family, as she said, she might be used to not rocking the boat with them too now that she's gone in a different direction politically.) I also think she's a little intimidated by Erik - he's really paternalistic and he was talking down to her a lot this episode and I don't think she's mature enough to push back.

He's definitely very controlling. I do feel sorry for Virginia,  it seems as though she's backed into a corner and doesn't know how to get out.  I also side eyed Erik when he called Chris "scary" in Vegas.  

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1 hour ago, humbleopinion said:

Jake is seething with anger from past women's injustices and from Haley's post coital rejection and revulsion...

He plays a broken record in his head of Haley's sins and slights upon him....

Why he keeps asking her about any increase in physical attraction is squashed just by whining about it constantly....

The attraction meter is still at -1000 Bazillion.

It soared to -999 Bazillion when he tried on the blue checkered shirt but that was fleeting...

Why didn't he reciprocate with "Thanks for the clothes" flowers?

Does Jake think he is Christian Grey with the "I don't do flowers" routine....

Jake... Haley wants kind and thoughtful gestures...not your smart ass comments...

He should've reciprocated with a new wardrobe for her.  I don't think a "thank you" should be in order for someone that tells you I'm only going to be attracted to you if you dress the way I want you to dress.  I think a "fuck you" is more in order!

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Haley said she picks apart every relationship she's in and every date she goes on. Like it's her mission to find as many red flags as soon as possible. She sabotages relationships before they get started with the exception the one guy she lived with. She has a bad track record with finding fault. This failed relationship is on her, not Jake. Even her friends are side-eyeing her complaints about Jake. She really thinks she's perfect. If I were Jake I would be smirking every time this whackadoodle opened her mouth, too. 

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The double-standard is strong this season.  If it was Clara who wanted more time before having sex I think that Viv would support her on that rather than immediately questioning Ryan's sexual experience/background.  If it was Jake who wanted Haley to change everything about herself I think Viv would defend Haley's right to be who she wants to be.

Again we see that the "experts" do not pay attention to potential deal-breakers whether it is wanting children or core religious/philosophical differences.

I couldn't believe that they gave Paige and Chris a full 10-minute segment.  I fast-forwarded most of it so missed the Mercedes conversation.  Nevertheless, even though I missed it I am confident in stating that Chris lied about it based upon his continual lies about everything else.  Chris continues to present himself as a pastor/entreprenuer/wealth advisor who is important and wealthy.  Really?  Fried chicken?  And once they started eating, he didn't even look at Paige.  And I find it very telling that while he presents himself as religious that Paige is the one who prays over their meals and leads their Bible study. Chris will continue to play Paige as that is what is getting him t.v. time and notoriety.  

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If Virginia isn't even sure if she wants kids, why are they setting her up with someone who wants them right away?  Same thing with the cat allergies.  Seemingly the first 2 questions on the interview sheets should be "Do you want children"?  "Are you allergic/scared of/not want pets"?  If it's maybe, you get set up with a maybe person.  If it's no, you are set up with the no person.  

If they really want people to believe each couple is matched with their best match, they need to get squared away on those 2 questions first.  Otherwise, let's put compatible people together because being compatible doesn't mean you are going to have couples hit it off 100% of the time and have a boring reality show.

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4 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

That girl looks rough, the twitchy stuff is hard to watch, her sense of fashion high lights how the booze is treating her body.  Did you see the display of chips and crap food in bags on the counter, how much stuff could be in the cabinets of their temp rental that they ran out of room in the kitchen cabinets?  Virginia is the walking embodiment of kitchen clutter.

Jake has his mind made up, his internal dialogue will keep him from anything but his fatalistic, self fulfilling prophesy of all relationships end badly because the girl did not fall in love at first sight or on his time line.  I get it, everyone wants to be loved but he has not had success so he sabotages relationships before they can get off the ground, Hayley senses his neediness and runs the other way.  Confidence is a very attractive quality but Hayley can smell the desperation and the onions all over Jake.

Clara has got to forget about sex, it is not important to Ryan at this point, I do not think Clara understands what being on the same page means.  I'd stop the hanky panky till I knew if Ryan really wanted me but Clara has her self worth wrapped up in sex, how disappointing in this day and age a woman feels like she still has to put out on any level to have a man love her.

Paige and Chris, please go away. Paige I swear your baby whisper voice makes me stabby and Chris you are a bad liar, there is no baby and no baby Mercedes, you didn't buy/rent/lease a Mercedes, not without Paige's credit rating, lol. So you wanted a bible study date but did not prepare anything.  If they ended that fried chicken bible study date in bed I hope Paige finds herself knock up.

Vinny, meh. Brianna needs someone who will let her be herself...I hope she can walk on eggshells.

Side note, I do not want to watch the Unmatchable show, one of which says she does not know how to kiss., I do not want to watch that awkward mess...scraping the bottom of the barrel is a real thing on Discovery +. Blech.

 Yep that's it in a nutsh!  I didn't even have to type.  I agree!

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16 minutes ago, NoWhammies said:

I dunno - not being attracted to someone doesn't necessarily make one a "cold fish". Haley's body is her own, and she shouldn't feel like she has to put it into situations that make her uncomfortable, such as kissing or sharing a bed with someone who quite obviously repulses her. I'm a big "listen to your instincts" kind of gal. If, after three weeks, she's not feeling it, she probably isn't going to, so why override her instincts just because some teevee "expert" tells her she should or because Jake glowers and makes a combination of passive aggressive and outwardly aggressive remarks about his dissatisfaction with how things are?

Haley actually has the body language of someone who feels unsafe in her situation. I'm a little surprised she's agreeing to cohabitate with him at all. 

I don't blame any of the participants for not being attracted to the person they are matched up with.  I just don't think Jake should change everything about himself in the hopes of her being attracted to him and the therapist shouldn't be encouraging her to try to change the core of his personality either.  

I don't see her as being in fear or unsafe.  I see someone who knows she will NEVER be attracted to Jake and she feels badly about that b/c she doesn't want to hurt his feelings.  Haley doesn't strike me as a woman who would stay in an unsafe situation.  

Edited by Boo Boo
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4 minutes ago, NoWhammies said:

I dunno - not being attracted to someone doesn't necessarily make one a "cold fish". Haley's body is her own, and she shouldn't feel like she has to put it into situations that make her uncomfortable, such as kissing or sharing a bed with someone who quite obviously repulses her. I'm a big "listen to your instincts" kind of gal. If, after three weeks, she's not feeling it, she probably isn't going to, so why override her instincts just because some teevee "expert" tells her she should or because Jake glowers and makes a combination of passive aggressive and outwardly aggressive remarks about his dissatisfaction with how things are?

Haley actually has the body language of someone who feels unsafe in her situation. I'm a little surprised she's agreeing to cohabitate with him at all. 

Right.  Why then would she go in the bed with a man who repulses her.  She didn’t listen to the therapist about kissing good nite.  Why go in the bed at all.  I wouldn’t.  It’s confusing to him.  Getting in bed with a man nice n cozy and warm could lead to things he can’t help.  No bed.  Too tempting for him.  They can’t help it.  She should feel unsafe.

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6 minutes ago, Boo Boo said:

If Virginia isn't even sure if she wants kids, why are they setting her up with someone who wants them right away?  Same thing with the cat allergies.  Seemingly the first 2 questions on the interview sheets should be "Do you want children"?  "Are you allergic/scared of/not want pets"?  If it's maybe, you get set up with a maybe person.  If it's no, you are set up with the no person.  

If they really want people to believe each couple is matched with their best match, they need to get squared away on those 2 questions first.  Otherwise, let's put compatible people together because being compatible doesn't mean you are going to have couples hit it off 100% of the time and have a boring reality show.

If I were one of these mismatched couples I'd want to know who I didn't match, I mean if this is as close as they could get I'd wonder what the ones that got away were like!

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2 minutes ago, Boo Boo said:

I don't blame any of the participants for not being attracted to the person they are matched up with.  I just don't think Jake should change everything about himself in the hopes of her being attracted to him and the therapist shouldn't be encouraging her to try to change the core of his personality either.  

I don't see someone her being in fear or unsafe.  I see someone who knows she will NEVER be attracted to Jake and she feels badly about that b/c she doesn't want to hurt his feelings.  Haley doesn't strike me as a woman who would stay in an unsafe situation.  

Yeah - I don't think she probably feels physically unsafe. But she may feel emotionally unsafe. Maybe I'm projecting, but to me Jake sort of feels seethy....like there's an underlying anger or sense of disenfranchisement from something he thinks he's entitled to. I read Jake as pissed. Possibly understandably so, but some people have trouble being truthful with someone they sense is seething underneath. 

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8 minutes ago, seacliffsal said:

The double-standard is strong this season.  If it was Clara who wanted more time before having sex I think that Viv would support her on that rather than immediately questioning Ryan's sexual experience/background.  If it was Jake who wanted Haley to change everything about herself I think Viv would defend Haley's right to be who she wants to be.

Again we see that the "experts" do not pay attention to potential deal-breakers whether it is wanting children or core religious/philosophical differences.

 

YES to all of this. 

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13 hours ago, Yeah No said:

The more I learn about Eric and Virginia the more I think the only thing keeping them interested in each other at this point is sex because they have so little in common otherwise.  Unfortunately when that part of the relationship cools down they really are going to need to find something in common in order to last for the long haul.  At this point I don't really have the greatest feeling about that.  I actually think both of them are too young to have mellowed out in their views on certain subjects and learned how to live with someone that doesn't agree with you on some issues.  My husband and I have disagreed on hot issues over the years but somehow that never affected our love for each other.  Usually if there is real love you tend to grow to be more alike after a few decades anyway.  But in my case my husband and I shared complementary views on most things, and it's funny how even in areas where we aren't complementary he eventually tends to come around to see it my way all by himself, LOL.  It looks like Eric and Virginia are at odds about a lot of things and I don't think it bodes well for their future.  They can't even agree on when and if to have kids.  They're beginning to remind me of Tom and Lillian from several seasons ago.  They had hot chemistry but their lifestyles and life goals were very different.  They lasted past decision day but ended up divorcing after a few years.

Plus it really bugs me how Eric treats Virginia like he's her father or something.  His paternalistic attitude toward her is bordering on creepy and controlling.  He obviously doesn't trust her with other men AT ALL and I don't know if she is fully appreciating how insulting that is of her.  If he doesn't trust her that much or respect her enough not to treat her like a child, well, I don't know whether he should really be involved with her (or her with him).

Maybe Erik wouldn't  "treat [Virginia] like a child" and without much "trust" or "respect" if Virginia would grow up, curtail the incessant drinking, and stop being an admitted passing-out-drunk party girl who then crashes at other guys' homes. 

Corollary note to Erik: Virginia does and will  not want children. Period. End of story. Because kids would cramp her style. 

Virginia wants security. Virginia wants freedom. But Virginia does not want responsibility. 

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12 minutes ago, Boo Boo said:

He should've reciprocated with a new wardrobe for her.  I don't think a "thank you" should be in order for someone that tells you I'm only going to be attracted to you if you dress the way I want you to dress.  I think a "fuck you" is more in order!

How do we know Jake had past injustices.  Did he say something?

 

11 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

Haley said she picks apart every relationship she's in and every date she goes on. Like it's her mission to find as many red flags as soon as possible. She sabotages relationships before they get started with the exception the one guy she lived with. She has a bad track record with finding fault. This failed relationship is on her, not Jake. Even her friends are side-eyeing her complaints about Jake. She really thinks she's perfect. If I were Jake I would be smirking every time this whackadoodle opened her mouth, too. 

Haley is no ball of fire she thinks she is.  Apparently, her Ex was cheating on her.  He probably got tired of her lies.  Everything has to be her way or the highway.  Or else she will cry.

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5 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

Right.  Why then would she go in the bed with a man who repulses her.  She didn’t listen to the therapist about kissing good nite.  Why go in the bed at all.  I wouldn’t.  It’s confusing to him.  Getting in bed with a man nice n cozy and warm could lead to things he can’t help.  No bed.  Too tempting for him.  They can’t help it.  She should feel unsafe.

Yeah I don't have a clue why she agreed to this. She keeps stating that she is committed to this but her actions are the exact opposite. Then she wonders why he's constantly asking what is going on in their relationship. When he says he's committed to trying, I believe him. When she says it, it's a lie. She really needs to be totally honest with him - he is asking point blank where things are going and if she is attracted to him. I think he can handle it if the answer is no. Then he could take his dogs and go back to his man cave. She's just wasting his time now.

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2 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Virginia wants security. Virginia wants freedom. But Virginia does not want responsibility. 

Ginny wants boxed wine, beer, mixed adult beverages, shotskys......Not necessarily in the order but in copious amounts....

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4 minutes ago, NoWhammies said:

Yeah - I don't think she probably feels physically unsafe. But she may feel emotionally unsafe. Maybe I'm projecting, but to me Jake sort of feels seethy....like there's an underlying anger or sense of disenfranchisement from something he thinks he's entitled to. I read Jake as pissed. Possibly understandably so, but some people have trouble being truthful with someone they sense is seething underneath. 

He seethes because he sets himself up for failure, he is caught in his own cycle of negative energy.  Jake needs to pause and reset his thought process when starting a new relationship, unrealistic expectations can be the devils work. Take the word marriage out of this relationship and it is just a bad dating scenario, no harm, no foul but Jakey put it all on the line like his life is depends on it.  If he keeps putting that negativity out in the universe, guess what, he will get negative outcomes because he keeps setting himself up to be the failed victim.

Hayley is not his lobster.

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1 hour ago, spunky said:

I had my suspicions about Erik from the moment he kept saying his family was conservative. As a Black woman and an immigrant, Erik's statement that he doesn't care about social issues sent chills down my spine. He must have been itching to yell "all lives matter", when Ryan was wearing his BLM t-shirts last week.

Just like Virginia, Erik is entitled to his opinions. Virginia may not agree with him, and if that’s a deal breaker, they both need to move on. 

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