S11.E13: Home Alone

[Dena0033]

2 hours ago, pdlinda said:

From personal experience, I can tell you that Olivia's salary range, after normal deductions, is NOT in the category you describe whereby you can throw caution to the wind and go on these expensive trips (thousands$$,), constantly buy expensive meals ($$hundreds) and pay for basic expenses (rent, utilities, car, insurance, groceries, gifts, furnishings, clothes).  In other words, she may not be coming home with a NET check that matches her expenditures that might be more in line with her GROSS salary.

That said, I believe Olivia mentioned she is in debt (probably credit card and student loans) and my assumption is that she works very hard and has a mind set that allows her to "blow money" on things she enjoys possibly while not building wealth (savings and investments) and, possibly, sinking deeper into credit card debt (I believe student loan repayment is pegged to income).

I think Olivia's spending style is part of what Brett objected to with her.  I also think she is quite rigid in her views and beliefs. 

In other words, even, assuming that Olivia pays all her bills on time, she isn't thriving financially because her lifestyle may not be compatible with her net income.  

I also think what Brett thinks is a fancy hotel is not necessarily what a fancy hotel is to others. He probably stays at budget hotels like Motel 6, Super 8, stuff like that (and that's fine). I guarantee Olivia is not staying at the Four Seasons, Waldorf Astoria, and Ritz Carlton. She's probably staying at decent Hiltons and Hyatts. Again with food - maybe Brett thinks a meal for 2 for $150 is INSANE, where as I think we're getting insane if we're hitting say, $250+. $150 is still a bit of a splurge meal, but I think his reference point is $50 for 2 people. 

She definitely has consumer credit debt. No doubt. And if she's racking it up with splurge meals, yes, it's foolish.

[Mrs. Button]

Quote

I don't think it's right to blame everything on Olivia though.  Brett isn't exactly an angel.  Wasn't he the one who hit on a woman the night of his bachelor party?

AND he thought an alarm for a woman living on her own in a big city was an unnecessary expense, implying that said woman was *so* silly for spending her (larger) income on something frivolous like safety (not that her making more emasculated him or anything!!). When someone shows you who they are, listen! 

Edited October 9, 2020 by Mrs. Button

[OnTime]

https://thefamousdata.com/olivia-and-brett-married-at-first-sight/

Olivia and Brett Biography

This is what you need to know about Olivia and Brett, an American couple, and reality television stars known for being cast in season 11 of Married at First Sight.

Brett is an AWS Cloud Practitioner certified and excels in his career in IT. He has always been ready for marriage and is definitely open to the Married at First Sight experience since he believes, historically, arranged marriages have been the primary means of matchmaking for the vast majority of human history.

Olivia is a Master of Science in Nursing degree recipient and currently works in clinics in Iowa. Olivia wanted to be closer to home and moved to New Orleans for a position with a comprehensive stroke center. Having worked hard in her career, she is ready to dedicate the same time and effort in a relationship.

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Both of them have good careers and could do fine with their combined income. They never saw eye to eye about money and probably never would. Oliva seems much more responsible about debt than Danielle with her $15,000 credit card debt and they were the same age getting married.

I can't believe she was a competitive cheerleader! I need to see a video of that.

 

[TheMediumBopper]

Brett is by no means a perfect angel. Still, I tend to believe his version of events over Olivia's because I think Olivia really is a shitty listener who hears only what she wants to hear. I believe he did indicate to her that he was moving out. I also believe him when he said he gave her other earlier indications that things weren't working out and that she didn't acknowledge them. I think he did what he had to do, and I don't understand why she's acting like she's blindsided now. Just my tuppence...

Also, why did Christina keep giving pleading looks toward the cameras when she was fake-crying? Did she really think one of the camera people was going to jump in and take her side after she's been pulling diva crap on them for the past few months?

Sung to the tune of "Don't Cry for Me, Argentina":

Don't cry for Henry, Christina!

The truth is you've never liked him.

You think that he's gay

Cuz he's so distanced

Because you're bitchy,

He'll say good riddance.
 

[princelina]

3 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I don't think it's right to blame everything on Olivia though.  Brett isn't exactly an angel.  Wasn't he the one who hit on a woman the night of his bachelor party?

if you consider him sitting next to one of Henry's female guests and saying hi "hitting on" - he left soon after she sneered and huffed off with Henry and the other female guest in tow.  I didn't think Henry should be bringing girlfriends to a joint bachelor party with strangers anyway, and the party sucked.  Obviously Brett doesn't waste his time when he feels it's being wasted 😄 

2 hours ago, Mrs. Button said:

AND he thought an alarm for a woman living on her own in a big city was an unnecessary expense, implying that said woman was *so* silly for spending her (larger) income on something frivolous like safety (not that her making more emasculated him or anything!!). When someone shows you who they are, listen! 

I didn't think he saw it as a waste - to me he just seemed surprised she had one.

[LuvMyShows]

1 hour ago, princelina said:

I didn't think he saw it as a waste - to me he just seemed surprised she had one.

He was far more than just surprised about her having an alarm, and it showed a very tight-wad, self-centered way of thinking.  Even after her explanation, he didn't look convinced at all, which showed a lack of empathy about her fears as a single female in the city living alone.

On 10/7/2020 at 10:12 PM, Jaclyn88 said:

Christina’s desire for flowers and non stop mentioning it reminds me of AJ’s non stop talk about eating dinner alone . 

Really and truly her comment about how he walked past flower shops and should have brought her some during covid was such an intensely bizarre comment and showed her complete and total inability to read him or their 'relationship'.  The other thing she mentioned even more, was having someone tell her she is beautiful.  Yes indeed, her admission that she got her view of relationships from movies, explains a lot about her.

On 10/7/2020 at 10:50 PM, Linarina said:

Brett actually said, "Goodbye, gorgeous!" so you can't say he didn't try.  We saw more hidden camera footage of them spooning and such.  I just don't know what the hell her problem is. 

His saying that seemed to me to fit in with exactly what she had been saying all along, which is that she distrusted his sincerity with some of the things he said, given how his overall behavior was.  The words read like lip service, like he knows what he's supposed to say.  It's like when what someone is saying, is belied by their body language saying something completely different.    

 

[Meowwww]

My husband, who is like Miles: depression, wonderfully balanced masculine and feminine energy and all, can’t stand Olivia.  He leaves the room when she’s on TV. Yes, Brett is a douche...or just can really compartmentalize emotions.  
I was disappointed in her for traveling to her parents.  If she is working in a hospital, Covid germs are there.  Ugh. 
Side note, my pantry is a plethora of deliciousness.  But I too will stand there staring and declare there’s nothing to eat.  

[Hangin Out]

7 hours ago, pdlinda said:

From personal experience, I can tell you that Olivia's salary range, after normal deductions, is NOT in the category you describe whereby you can throw caution to the wind and go on these expensive trips (thousands$$,), constantly buy expensive meals ($$hundreds) and pay for basic expenses (rent, utilities, car, insurance, groceries, gifts, furnishings, clothes).  In other words, she may not be coming home with a NET check that matches her expenditures that might be more in line with her GROSS salary.

That said, I believe Olivia mentioned she is in debt (probably credit card and student loans) and my assumption is that she works very hard and has a mind set that allows her to "blow money" on things she enjoys possibly while not building wealth (savings and investments) and, possibly, sinking deeper into credit card debt (I believe student loan repayment is pegged to income).

I think Olivia's spending style is part of what Brett objected to with her.  I also think she is quite rigid in her views and beliefs. 

In other words, even, assuming that Olivia pays all her bills on time, she isn't thriving financially because her lifestyle may not be compatible with her net income.  

And that’s where the trouble lies.  Olivia lives for traveling, fine wines, best accommodations, which is her prerogative with her money.  On the other hand, Brett has a house and mortgage and that is his prerogative and is comfortable with that.  They both put their money where they want.  I’d say second most common disagreement in a marriage and very important.  Secondly, both are very rigid about what is their desire.  In my day, I was a stay at home mom after our first child.  The husband used to come home from the city and put all his change in a big pink Piggy Bank.  Come Febuary, the amount totaled $1,000.  He took vacation, packed the car and kids and away we all went to Florida for a week to Disney or wherever.  We stood at the Days Inn and all had a blast.  My kids still remember all that.  That was our traveling.  No Europe, nothing fancy.  That’s my story, but it’s not for everyone.  Olivia and Brett would have to work that out.  Olivia’s traveling sounds very expensive.  She better marry rich.  Prerogative.  Auto correct stinks.  P.s.  My story was years and years ago.  Today, $1,000 is peanuts.  Perogative.  Dammit.  Now that the college educations for the kiddies are over, and we have the means to travel, we are too tired to travel far and mostly go to other states surrounding us, or the City.  You can’t have everything, but we had a great time with what we had, and plenty of memories.  Neither Olivia or Brett are wrong.  They both just want different things.

 

Edited October 10, 2020 by Silver Bells

[Rae Spellman]

2 hours ago, LuvMyShows said:

Really and truly her comment about how he walked past flower shops and should have brought her some during covid was such an intensely bizarre comment and showed her complete and total inability to read him or their 'relationship'. 

Right. Most guys wouldn't be motivated to buy flowers for a rude and dishonest woman who forgot his birthday, accused him of being gay, and is generally not his type.

[ChiMama]

On 10/7/2020 at 11:16 PM, antfitz said:

 

On 10/7/2020 at 7:31 PM, humbleopinion said:

Brett makes a meal when Olivia is gone...it completely fills the plate and piled 2 inches high ...dude shovels grub down in mass quantities....he said he ate all the food in the pantry...totally believe he Hoovered it all.

She can go to Taco Bell drive thru...

 I did not understand her distress over him eating the food or leaving And going to his own house. She doesn't like him and it was obvious from the beginning. Then when she found out that he didn't make enough to travel, she said she wouldn't pay and so they couldn't go. She wanted somebody with a similar pay scale.

 

She said to his face in front of Dr. Cal that she doesn’t believe him. Game over. She’s super defensive, on the lookout constantly for problems, like a dog with a bone with her incessant complaint reruns, and very schoolmarmishly UNFUN. Traveling or living with her would be a stressful uptight experience, even as a friend/roommate. Plus who’s going to wait 2-5 yrs while she fritters away HER money hanging out with her equally joyless nagging friends and THEN decide she’s definitely NOT willing to “consider” kids after all. He DEFINITELY wants kids; she doesn’t (and doesn’t have the personality for it). He’s a saver, she’s a spender. Doomed.

Edited October 10, 2020 by ChiMama

[ChiMama]

On 10/7/2020 at 11:20 PM, qtpye said:

Miles needs to find someone else. Karen is mistaking his kindness for "femininity" and he really does not need that type of bullshit in his life. Plenty of other women would be glad to have him. 

Her body language on the couch during their “stay or go” discussion was SO cold — turned away from him, arms crossed, lips pursed, etc. Flashing unapproachable and uninterested. She said they did sweet things for each other, but talked only about what he does for her. Her attempts at physical contact are so faux and stiff. He deserves better (and agreed - he’ll have his pick of better women now — he’s a keeper).

[ChiMama]

On 10/8/2020 at 7:57 AM, Neurochick said:

why didn't ChristinA know when Henry's birthday was?  Did she ask?  Did he even tell her?  Henry seems to be the type of person that needs to be brought out, but ChristinA doesn't want to do the work. 

And the cherry on top was the gay allegation.  Of course ChristinA would think Henry was gay because he's not rushing to jump her bones.  To her something is wrong with HIM.  "Oh, he must be gay."   

Their relationship was doomed from the start.  

I forgot the birthday thing — so rude & unfeeling. There was a CAKE delivered to the apt— that didn’t remind her? Is that the same day she went for an overnight “walk”? Probably partying maskless. I don’t blame him for being pissed. But it looks like they are on the couples’ trip next week — he gave her another chance after the sketchy “an unknown guy told me you were gay” thing? Nah, sis. Highly suspect.

Edited October 10, 2020 by ChiMama

[qtpye]

6 hours ago, ChiMama said:

I forgot the birthday thing — so rude & unfeeling. There was a CAKE delivered to the apt— that didn’t remind her? Is that the same day she went for an overnight “walk”? probably partying maskless. I don’t blame him for being pissed. But it looks like they are on the couples’ trip next week — he gave her another chance after the sketchy “an unknown guy told me you were gay” thing? Nah, sis. Highly suspect.

For some reason, Christina being out all night reminded about the part in the Clueless movie where Cher sent herself flowers to make a boy she liked jealous. The whole thing seemed so fake...particularly going out for a "walk" in full make up and partying clothes.

It seemed like she was pretending to do something purposefully naughty to get Henry's attention.  It really is driving her crazy that he does not want her, even though she might not really want him either.

Edited October 10, 2020 by qtpye

[TheMediumBopper]

4 hours ago, qtpye said:

For some reason, Christina being out all night reminded about the part in the Clueless movie where Claire sent herself flowers to make a boy she liked jealous. The whole thing seemed so fake...particularly going out for a "walk" in full make up and partying clothes.

It seemed like she was pretending to do something purposefully naughty to get Henry's attention.  It really is driving her crazy that he does not want her, even though she might not really want him either.

That's possible, though Henry said he found out later through Instagram that she'd gone out partying with friends. Sounds like she was either hooking up or wanted to meet up with her friends without having to bring Henry along, boring and uncool as she thinks he is. 

[qtpye]

1 hour ago, TheMediumBopper said:

That's possible, though Henry said he found out later through Instagram that she'd gone out partying with friends. Sounds like she was either hooking up or wanted to meet up with her friends without having to bring Henry along, boring and uncool as she thinks he is. 

Oh, I am sure she went out for some fun but the way she was rubbing it in his face, when she could have just told him (I doubt he would care) told me she wanted him to know, probably to bring out some jealousy.

Edited October 10, 2020 by qtpye

[psychoticstate]

I was very much Team Olivia in the beginning but now I'm more Team Brett.  I think Olivia was wrong to go visit her family when the city was in lockdown and she works in a hospital.  Brett's fears were justified.  I thought for sure the preview before this episode was a red herring and he was going back home because he was going to quarantine or because of Olivia's job.  I think she was wrong not to go with him to his house during that week she had off.  It would have been the perfect time to really look at his house and reassess -- no camera crew there, no pressure to feel/act like you have to love it (since he already knows she wasn't totally on board) and more time into the marriage.

Regardless, he did the right thing.  As another poster mentioned upthread, their goals were/are entirely different.  That's going to be a relationship killer.  Brett wants kids and fairly soon.  Olivia isn't positive she wants them at all.  Brett wants to own a home.  Olivia prefers renting in a more desirable neighborhood.  Brett is a saver.  Olivia prefers to spend her money on experiences.  Neither is wrong but they are simply incompatible.  

Miles needs to just get out of there.  Karen hasn't felt him or the marriage from the start.  She should have just left and not married him.  He's trying so hard and getting next to nothing in return.  I know that sometimes feelings can change/grow in a positive way over time but you can't even see a seed with Karen.  Miles deserves better.  Maybe Amani has a friend? 

I wish I had Amelia's spunk/nerve to just decide to cut my hair and give it a whack!  I think she looks great with her shorter hair.  It's probably a smart compromise to have Bennett split his time between Richmond and New Orleans, at least for the foreseeable future.

As others have said, Amelia and Bennett and Amani and Woody are handling this "experiment" just right.  They discuss things openly and maturely, while enjoying each other's company and learning.  

ChristinA is just ridiculous.  Who goes out for a walk dressed to the nines and doesn't come home until after 1?  Even if she were meeting "friends," the city is on a lockdown!  Honestly, this is why the virus spread and we are still in a pandemic.  

I still think Henry is a good guy.  I'd be hurt too if my spouse, even a MAFS spouse, forgot my birthday.  And forgot my birthday while quarantining with me during a pandemic.  Sheesh.  Pastor Cal can miss me with his comments that Henry can change his personality.  As a former painful introvert, it's not that simple.  And he shouldn't HAVE to change his personality to fit ChristinA.  Why isn't she being told that maybe she should change her personality to fit him?  Neither one should.   They weren't a great match to start and I think her demanding personality, combined with her multiple stories about where she lived, turned him off from the start.  

Bennett and the one square -- did he say that to Jamie?  If it was on the show, I must have zoned out.  In any event, if your toilet paper is running low, or you're worried it is, at least use washcloths! 

[LuvMyShows]

5 hours ago, psychoticstate said:

Bennett and the one square -- did he say that to Jamie?  If it was on the show, I must have zoned out. 

IIRC, Amelia said it during some of that too-brief footage that they showed us from quarantine.  Bennett was right beside her, and verified that it was true.

5 hours ago, psychoticstate said:

Regardless, he did the right thing.  As another poster mentioned upthread, their goals were/are entirely different.  That's going to be a relationship killer.  Brett wants kids and fairly soon.  Olivia isn't positive she wants them at all.  Brett wants to own a home.  Olivia prefers renting in a more desirable neighborhood.  Brett is a saver.  Olivia prefers to spend her money on experiences.  Neither is wrong but they are simply incompatible.  

And this is why it was infuriating earlier when Pastor Cal (?) suggested just putting aside the differences to focus on getting to know each other and have good times.  But the problem with that advice in this case, is that their differences underlie almost every.single.thing that either of them talks about or does.

[pdlinda]

5 hours ago, psychoticstate said:

It's probably a smart compromise to have Bennett split his time between Richmond and New Orleans, at least for the foreseeable future.

I'm thinking that sooner rather than later, the cost of dual residences is going to really start hurting him(them) financially.  Amelia will be making about $60K as a resident M.D; however, from what I know (and, of course, whatever her NET salary turns out to be), VA is an expensive place to live (probably more so that N.O.) 

There is such a great rapport and genuine affection between them I'm sure they'll work out the financial "kinks"; they're both caring and intelligent!

It's just great that Amelia has a career that will afford the family a decent standard of living doing what she obviously loves.  Family medicine is certainly a "calling," so bravo to her, AND, who knows where they'll wind up after her training is completed.  

I have great hopes for Bennett and Amelia!!

[princelina]

14 hours ago, ChiMama said:

Her body language on the couch during their “stay or go” discussion was SO cold — turned away from him, arms crossed, lips pursed, etc. Flashing unapproachable and uninterested. She said they did sweet things for each other, but talked only about what he does for her. Her attempts at physical contact are so faux and stiff. He deserves better (and agreed - he’ll have his pick of better women now — he’s a keeper).

Yes - when the show was constantly telling us that Danielle refused to tell Bobby she loved him, and that Deonna had "walls", I could tell it was the show trying to make a conflict where there wasn't any.  Karen really doesn't seem into Miles.

7 hours ago, psychoticstate said:

Bennett and the one square -- did he say that to Jamie?  If it was on the show, I must have zoned out.  In any event, if your toilet paper is running low, or you're worried it is, at least use washcloths! 

Amelia told us - and it's because he's living out his environmentalist principles, not because of TP shortage.  It's his lifestyle 😖

[Neurochick]

Karen needs some type of therapy because if she rejects Miles, she could find herself married to a narcissist.  I think she sees Miles' sensitivity as weakness.  A narcissist knows how to appear confident and strong.  Karen might see such a man as strong, as a good protector and that will be a problem for her. 

[pdlinda]

6 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

Karen needs some type of therapy because if she rejects Miles, she could find herself married to a narcissist.  I think she sees Miles' sensitivity as weakness.  A narcissist knows how to appear confident and strong.  Karen might see such a man as strong, as a good protector and that will be a problem for her. 

I think Karen has a certain "prototype" of a husband in mind that's primarily built around a resume, appearance and financial standing.  She may believe that will bring her status, prestige and security.  Unfortunately, although she may get the exception to the rule, her expectations are likely to be severely dashed by the reality of the relationship she is envisioning.

YES, 100% AGREE.  Karen should spend some time working on herself and her values with a therapist before she starts down the relationship road again.

One thing's FOR SURE!  She is not attracted to Miles, does not appear to have any type of affection for him and there is absolutely, IMO, no future for them being together.

[After7Only]

10 minutes ago, pdlinda said:

I'm thinking that sooner rather than later, the cost of dual residences is going to really start hurting him(them) financially.  Amelia will be making about $60K as a resident M.D; however, from what I know (and, of course, whatever her NET salary turns out to be), VA is an expensive place to live (probably more so that N.O.) 

 

If Bennett stays in his  tiny house while in NOLA that will keep costs down.  Plus based on the looks of Amelia’s original crib, money may not be a big issue for her.   

I really wish we had a chance to see Henry ask Christina about her afternoon walk That turned into 3am event.   Although she probably would have just cried and deflected anyways.  Also wasn’t clear if there was 1 incident like that or 2.  In one he said she came home at 3am.  Another time he said he wasn’t sure if she came home at all.   

 

[klowey]

A couple of things. First, I noticed that the people who were  looking to have kids soon, Woody, Brett and Amelia, were not the ones that would necessarily be the primary caregivers of that child. As a woman who's relatively kid-agnostic, I'd only be willing to have kids with someone ready to do the majority of the work knowing that I'd still end up doing more, but hopefully not all. I can see Amani, who wasn't ready to declare herself in love, not wanting to get pregnant in a rush either. I know their are good and bad times to get pregnant in a lot of specialties, so Amelia may be thinking of that, but the effect of COVID on the tourism and entertainment industry is going to make Bennett's career plans more interesting.

Second, does anyone with experience with Black hair know if Amani and Woody could have done their own hair? Because, they were both looking good for the end of lockdown. Did they delay the counseling sessions until things has eased up a little?

[KateHearts]

On 10/9/2020 at 1:13 AM, ECM1231 said:

🙋‍♀️Howdy neighbor!

I totally agree, which is why I said upthread that I was incensed. If I were Brett, I would have hightailed it back to my own place, too. I mistakenly said he had lost a co-worker to COVID-19 but was corrected that the co- worker contracted it but didn't die. However, it did rattle Brett quite a bit. Not to get political but there is a huge divide in this country right now. I see it within my own family and my husband's family. My husband is semi- retired and basically working to keep busy   He is considered an essential worker b/c he works in a firehouse as a mechanic. He only is in contact with 1  other co- worker.  We lived through the nightmare of seeing refrigerated trucks on the streets of NYC when the morgues couldn't handle it. We had friends who lost parents and we were unable to attend their funerals b/c of restrictions. I couldn't get toilet paper or Clorox wipes for months. Food was scarce and delivery almost impossible to get those first 2 months. I am thankful I didn't lose anyone close to me but have not seen my son in Austin since last October.  Our April visit was put on hold and his Summer visit never happened because he's still fearful of flying and practically every state is on a quarantine list if they come to NY. It boggled me that Olivia as a highly trained nurse thought it wise to leave during a lockdown to see her parents. And that's why I said it gets political. There's a huge disconnect.  I've literally been holed up at home. I only recently started to go to the grocery store late July and have gone maybe 3x since then. Still doing mostly delivery. No haircut, no mani/pedis. No restaurant dining, even though 50% capacity is allowed here.  Nada. Zippo. And there is a whole segment of my Island and maybe across the nation bitching that our h.s. students can't play sports. One of the town police chiefs was quoted saying he can't be the "mask kaiser" after receiving a complaint that his officers were not masked and were interacting with children. It's not a suggestion,, buddy. People flocking to bars, packed in like sardines, and establishments losing liquor licenses over this. I get that folks are tired. We all need human interaction. I'm an old 63 y.o. married lady but I remember what it was like to be young. I miss my friends and our couples friends. But we are all in an over 60 age group, and more at risk. So we stay home. And yet, I have family members who have had milestone type parties and  we have had to decline and made to feel we are the crazy ones. Olivia leaving during lockdown brought all these awful memories back to the surface.

Covid 19 is no joke. Sorry for the rant!

Not a joke, for sure. But let me defend Olivia a bit as another healthcare provider.  

Because we have had to report to work daily, many of us have developed a more practical view of Covid and its risks.  Not to minimize them, at all... but I, like many others, spent the first few months of the pandemic in a level of anxiety, reporting to a building that I knew had the virus inside its walls, and like many- viewing it as an invisible killer that could kill us off at any moment. It was exhausting, physically, mentally and emotionally. We all stripped in our garages, washed our scrubs in bleach and showered the minute we left work.  Over time, it's really difficult to maintain that level of hyper-awareness and function. And we all have learned to be careful and reasonable, protect ourselves and families as we can, and we have continued to go out into the world and do what we have to do. Many other people who have been able to work from home and stay there, have the view that a) they are safer and more "right," and b) that those of us who work in health care are teeming with germs.  I don't find either to be true.

That said, as early on as these scenes were filmed, I am surprised that Olivia went to see her family, although as others said, they may have had special health concerns, etc. And we have no idea whether she very well may have been following precautions (showering/changing before seeing them, wearing a mask, etc). So I get Brett's concern. I have learned there are so many degrees of caution out there; personally I am glad to have had a job to go to (for my own sanity) and, thankfully, I have remained healthy. This despite a coworker contracting Covid and having patients in our hospital with it.

I am convinced that Christina equates love with sex, and her total befuddlement that Henry hasn't showered her with compliments regarding her hot/sexy appearance and wanting to jump her bones is a sad testimonial to her perception of a good relationship.  Also- flowers don't mean love, either. Henry needed to be direct: "why did you lie about where you lived? Why would you go out for a 'walk' dressed in  dress and heels for six hours?" but he just can't. I don't know if it's because he's nice or because he's cowardly. But she seems to be pushing because she can.

I can't decipher Brett's body language. He says one thing but his demeanor belies it. Olivia asks, "do you want to be married to me?" to which he answers, "I've expressed how I feel," with averted eyes and a flat tone.  He could be interpreted as holding his cards close, not wanting to be vulnerable or hurt her feelings. But he comes across as flip, sarcastic and cold. I think he was exhausted by her constant push for analysis of their relationship.... but he could have been more diplomatic and said, "look, the official period is over; I need to go back to my house; Covid is freaking me out and I really think we aren't helping each other out during this stressful time."  

I cannot imagine having to be quarantined with someone I barely know under such difficult circumstances.  It was hard at times with my beloved husband, cat and dog, in my comfortable house. Imagine being with someone who is sarcastic, bitchy, cold, awkward, or dirty- in a sterile apartment that's more like an Air B andB for two months. Lord help me, I'd have a full-on breakdown.

[Hangin Out]

17 hours ago, ChiMama said:

She said to his face in front of Dr. Cal that she doesn’t believe him. Game over. She’s super defensive, on the lookout constantly for problems, like a dog with a bone with her incessant complaint reruns, and very schoolmarmishly UNFUN. Traveling or living with her would be a stressful uptight experience, even as a friend/roommate. Plus who’s going to wait 2-5 yrs while she fritters away HER money hanging out with her equally joyless nagging friends and THEN decide she’s definitely NOT willing to “consider” kids after all. He DEFINITELY wants kids; she doesn’t (and doesn’t have the personality for it). He’s a saver, she’s a spender. Doomed.

Does Olivia want to travel or get married?  Take your pick.  She could have been traveling the last ten years or so with a friend or a group.  Not every man wants to travel.  I think she is a sour, spoiled brat that wants everything her way, and I’m tired of seeing her sour puss because she isn’t getting her way.  Seems like Brett liked her when they married, but turned around after finding out her demands.  You are absolutely right about her.  Plus, “schoolmarm” and unfun is Olivia.  No man wants that.

[Hangin Out]

14 minutes ago, KateHearts said:

Not a joke, for sure. But let me defend Olivia a bit as another healthcare provider.  

Because we have had to report to work daily, many of us have developed a more practical view of Covid and its risks.  Not to minimize them, at all... but I, like many others, spent the first few months of the pandemic in a level of anxiety, reporting to a building that I knew had the virus inside its walls, and like many- viewing it as an invisible killer that could kill us off at any moment. It was exhausting, physically, mentally and emotionally. We all stripped in our garages, washed our scrubs in bleach and showered the minute we left work.  Over time, it's really difficult to maintain that level of hyper-awareness and function. And we all have learned to be careful and reasonable, protect ourselves and families as we can, and we have continued to go out into the world and do what we have to do. Many other people who have been able to work from home and stay there, have the view that a) they are safer and more "right," and b) that those of us who work in health care are teeming with germs.  I don't find either to be true.

That said, as early on as these scenes were filmed, I am surprised that Olivia went to see her family, although as others said, they may have had special health concerns, etc. And we have no idea whether she very well may have been following precautions (showering/changing before seeing them, wearing a mask, etc). So I get Brett's concern. I have learned there are so many degrees of caution out there; personally I am glad to have had a job to go to (for my own sanity) and, thankfully, I have remained healthy. This despite a coworker contracting Covid and having patients in our hospital with it.

I am convinced that Christina equates love with sex, and her total befuddlement that Henry hasn't showered her with compliments regarding her hot/sexy appearance and wanting to jump her bones is a sad testimonial to her perception of a good relationship.  Also- flowers don't mean love, either. Henry needed to be direct: "why did you lie about where you lived? Why would you go out for a 'walk' dressed in  dress and heels for six hours?" but he just can't. I don't know if it's because he's nice or because he's cowardly. But she seems to be pushing because she can.

I can't decipher Brett's body language. He says one thing but his demeanor belies it. Olivia asks, "do you want to be married to me?" to which he answers, "I've expressed how I feel," with averted eyes and a flat tone.  He could be interpreted as holding his cards close, not wanting to be vulnerable or hurt her feelings. But he comes across as flip, sarcastic and cold. I think he was exhausted by her constant push for analysis of their relationship.... but he could have been more diplomatic and said, "look, the official period is over; I need to go back to my house; Covid is freaking me out and I really think we aren't helping each other out during this stressful time."  

I cannot imagine having to be quarantined with someone I barely know under such difficult circumstances.  It was hard at times with my beloved husband, cat and dog, in my comfortable house. Imagine being with someone who is sarcastic, bitchy, cold, awkward, or dirty- in a sterile apartment that's more like an Air B andB for two months. Lord help me, I'd have a full-on breakdown.

Haha.  It’s been a bitch.  We have breakfast in the morning, clean, go to a store, come home.  He goes in the bedroom and watches his shows, and me in the living room watching my shows.  No company, don’t see the kids, nothing.  Does anyone here who is married have a husband who likes a conversation about their relationship?  Not mine.  He runs away.  Lol.  Olivia whines and questions too much, always nagging about something.  Brett is just biding his time until the end.  I think he tried in the beginning, but gave up.

[Elizzikra]

6 hours ago, pdlinda said:

I'm thinking that sooner rather than later, the cost of dual residences is going to really start hurting him(them) financially.  Amelia will be making about $60K as a resident M.D; however, from what I know (and, of course, whatever her NET salary turns out to be), VA is an expensive place to live (probably more so that N.O.) 

There is such a great rapport and genuine affection between them I'm sure they'll work out the financial "kinks"; they're both caring and intelligent!

It's just great that Amelia has a career that will afford the family a decent standard of living doing what she obviously loves.  Family medicine is certainly a "calling," so bravo to her, AND, who knows where they'll wind up after her training is completed.  

I have great hopes for Bennett and Amelia!!

It depends on where in Virginia. Northern Virginia, right outside DC is expensive. Rural southwestern Virginia is pretty inexpensive...

[LuvMyShows]

1 hour ago, After7Only said:

Plus based on the looks of Amelia’s original crib, money may not be a big issue for her.    

IIRC, Amelia had a bunch of roommates all sharing a very big house.  I don't think they ever said if they are all renters to a landlord, or if someone from the group has a connection to own it.

[topanga]

2 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Does Olivia want to travel or get married?  Take your pick.  She could have been traveling the last ten years or so with a friend or a group.  Not every man wants to travel.  I think she is a sour, spoiled brat that wants everything her way, and I’m tired of seeing her sour puss because she isn’t getting her way.  Seems like Brett liked her when they married, but turned around after finding out her demands.  You are absolutely right about her.  Plus, “schoolmarm” and unfun is Olivia.  No man wants that.

I found both of them pretty awful people. I wouldn’t want to spend time with either one of them. I am glad that Brett ripped off the bandaid and told Olivia that they just weren’t right for one another and shouldn’t be together. I’m sure Olivia was hurt and maybe a little embarrassed, but in, she’s got to know he was right. She kept talking to the experts about not wanting to be failure, but not about any real potential she saw with her and Brett. 
 

3 hours ago, klowey said:

Second, does anyone with experience with Black hair know if Amani and Woody could have done their own hair? Because, they were both looking good for the end of lockdown. Did they delay the counseling sessions until things has eased up a little?

My guess is that Amani braided Woody’s hair into the little plaits he was wearing. And she usually does her own hair (except for the braids she wore on the honeymoon). 

[KateHearts]

1 hour ago, Elizzikra said:

It depends on where in Virginia. Northern Virginia, right outside DC is expensive. Rural southwestern Virginia is pretty inexpensive...

Richmond is comparable to New Orleans. Taxes aren’t bad and there is a teaching hospital here with lots of housing for residents. 

[Rae Spellman]

4 hours ago, klowey said:

A couple of things. First, I noticed that the people who were  looking to have kids soon, Woody, Brett and Amelia, were not the ones that would necessarily be the primary caregivers of that child.

Based on Woody's budget/spending habits, it's not even clear how he/they would afford a child care. 

[pdlinda]

2 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

It depends on where in Virginia. Northern Virginia, right outside DC is expensive. Rural southwestern Virginia is pretty inexpensive...

The hospital where Amelia is doing her residency is in Richmond, VA.

59 minutes ago, KateHearts said:

Richmond is comparable to New Orleans. Taxes aren’t bad and there is a teaching hospital here with lots of housing for residents. 

That sounds GREAT!!  Very appealing for their purposes and wonderful to know she can focus on her duties without having to be concerned with astronomical fixed expenses.  

[Yeah No]

10 hours ago, Neurochick said:

Karen needs some type of therapy because if she rejects Miles, she could find herself married to a narcissist.  I think she sees Miles' sensitivity as weakness.  A narcissist knows how to appear confident and strong.  Karen might see such a man as strong, as a good protector and that will be a problem for her. 

 

10 hours ago, pdlinda said:

I think Karen has a certain "prototype" of a husband in mind that's primarily built around a resume, appearance and financial standing.  She may believe that will bring her status, prestige and security.  Unfortunately, although she may get the exception to the rule, her expectations are likely to be severely dashed by the reality of the relationship she is envisioning.

YES, 100% AGREE.  Karen should spend some time working on herself and her values with a therapist before she starts down the relationship road again.

One thing's FOR SURE!  She is not attracted to Miles, does not appear to have any type of affection for him and there is absolutely, IMO, no future for them being together.

I'm beginning to think Karen would have issues with a lot of men, and even if she warmed up to one a little bit she seems to have some very deep seated hang-ups and preconceived ideas about relationships in general that would stand in the way of her being ready for just about anyone.  I just can't see her warming up to any guy at this point, even a narcissist.  Even if he ticked off all her check boxes and she warmed up to such a guy somewhat her issues would eventually at some point get in the way and she'd actually find even more reasons to mistrust him than she does with Miles (and in that case likely with good reason).  If not being "masculine" enough for her is the worst excuse she can manufacture to "justify" her lack of interest in Miles, that's pretty weak and strikes me as a cover for the real reason, which is her own inability to trust men in general.  I don't think she would trust a narcissist either.  If she hasn't realized that Miles is a guy she can trust yet, there's something wrong with her and yes, she needs therapy to work on herself before she's ready to be involved in any relationship, much less marriage.

[Jax7917]

Henry said his phone has been blowing up all day for his birthday and they show footage of him on the phone in front of her  .. so the fact that I’m sure he’s saying thank you ! When every person calls should maybe set off an alarm ? 

[Stinamaia]

On 10/7/2020 at 8:03 PM, Kiss my mutt said:

Um, record scratch, WTF with that gay accusation? 

Henry didn’t want her so he must be gay. Christina is pathetic. 

[Kiss my mutt]

14 hours ago, Rhiannon Hunter said:

Based on Woody's budget/spending habits, it's not even clear how he/they would afford a child care. 

Grandma?

[humbleopinion]

14 hours ago, Rhiannon Hunter said:

Based on Woody's budget/spending habits, it's not even clear how he/they would afford a child care. 

Woody's school district may have a employee day care option.

[Stinamaia]

On 10/9/2020 at 2:58 PM, Neurochick said:

I don't think it's right to blame everything on Olivia though.  Brett isn't exactly an angel.  Wasn't he the one who hit on a woman the night of his bachelor party?

He also ducked out of the party sort of how he left the apartment. 

[Rae Spellman]

4 hours ago, Stinamaia said:

He also ducked out of the party sort of how he left the apartment. 

Yes, he did. On rewatch I noticed Olivia hanging out in her scrubs in some scenes. Including the scene where Brett mentioned her being on her phone while they were watching a movie. 

Wonder how Karen would feel about her lack of warmth being read as less feminine. In that conversation with Dr. Cal, they discussed whether Karen has the capacity to love Miles the way he needs to be loved. The Miles in that conversation is my favorite Miles. He actually acknowledged his own needs and questioned whether or not he should continue to invest in the relationship. 

Does Bennet of the one square of toilet paper have a bidet?

 

 

[Lindz]

WOWWWWWWW!! THESE PEOPLE!! Seems they were completely abandoned & either winged it or let it die. I don't see how the "experts" couldn't counsel them during the lock down. Makes no sense!! & Brett. Looks like he sat back & collected flags to leave. Ring's gone. Stuff's gone. He's gone. THE END. So she was right NOT to trust him! 😂 "I'm 100% sure how I feel &, really, that's all that matters." WHAT A PRICK!! #TrueColors
They should've tried figuring out things & building their marriage rather than complain to cameras & "experts." So PAINFULLY TYPICAL.

Edited October 12, 2020 by Lindz

[Lindz]

Brett was mad Olivia went to visit her family during a pandemic against his wishes, when she never went to his house. That's understandable. Interesting scenario: one person ignoring the epidemic & the other taking it seriously. Glad I didn't have to live that. 😅 He didn't see any progress in building their life together. But, moving out & saying it was the plan & her reaction was unreasonable is BS!! NO respect for that shady nonsense! He faked & coasted, as suspected! WHERE was the effort from EITHER of them during quarantine?? She said she didn't know him better & they're stagnant, WHAT'D she do to get to know him & progress the relationship?? ACCOUNTABILITY!! He's over it & we're over his punk ass!

Edited October 12, 2020 by Lindz

[Lindz]

On 10/8/2020 at 7:35 AM, configdotsys said:

Henry is a wuss. "There's so much more to learn," was horseshit. He has no interest in Christinar and is too much of a spineless jellyfish to say to her what he said to Cal.

AGREE!! Henry sounds stupid saying he doesn't see the point in giving up or getting out. Um. You don't like her, don't believe her, & don't want to be around her. Whole lotta NOTHING to show for the marriage. ISSA WRAP!!!

[Lindz]

On 10/8/2020 at 9:12 AM, JapMo said:

I saw something last night that kind of surprised me.  Mr. Perfect Henry was a little snide, a little nasty and mean.  Also, he was twitching a lot when he was talking to Pastor Cal.  Maybe because he was this close to being honest with Cal and saying what we all know:  I HAVE NEVER LIKED CHRISTINA AND CAN'T WAIT TO GET OUT OF THIS MARRIAGE.  But as posters have said previously, he didn't have the courage (say what you want of Brett but he knew it was never going to work and had the guts to end it).  

I know most people blame Christina and she does have a lot of hang-ups.  But her living arrangements at the time they got married should have been discussed.  When Henry realized early on that there was something not quite right about where/how she was living pre-wedding, he should have questioned her about it.  But he never did.  Like he failed to mention to her but never had a problem telling Amani that he thought Christina was rude to production.  Christina doesn't find this out until several weeks into the marriage.  Now after 10 weeks he tells Pastor Cal that she's been "dishonest".  The dishonest one is you, Henry.  Again, Christina has too many hang-ups to go in to in just one post, but IMO at least she's tried.  Henry has NEVER tried.  EVER.  He took one look at her and he was done.  

I have contempt for Henry because he's a liar.  His reasons for getting into this in the first place is because one or several "friends" talked him into it.  Can anybody on this board honestly see Henry ever even watching MAFS much less deciding that marrying a stranger was something he should do?  The man who by his own admission has a lot of problems even speaking to women and needs a LOT of time to get to know someone before even holding their hand much less be intimate?  Speaking of his friends, I have no respect whatsoever for Henry when he mentioned while talking to Christina last night that several of his friends had mentioned red flags about her job and her living arrangements.  I'm sure they also gave him an earful about Christina being rude right before the wedding. He's probably seen her frustrated and snippy to the crew throughout the filming, but  instead of giving Christina the benefit of the doubt that part of her behavior might have been pre-wedding jitters and fear of having a camera in her face all the time, he's used the rude angle against her from the get-go, making no attempt to ever address it with her and continuing to hold it against her from day one to the present.  

Again, IMO he's been extremely dishonest in this whole relationship, if you want to call it that.  Constantly making excuses that he needs more time and he's slow to warm up to intimacy.  Whatever.  He never gave Christina a chance.  Even though they still would have been incompatible, he didn't even try.  Again, she's no prize either, but you can't say she hasn't tried.

Whew, didn't mean to make this so long.  One more thing since I'm already on a roll..................did COVID mess up something with Dr. Pepper's skills as a relationship expert?  She gave absolutely zero good advice to Christina.  Hold Henry's hand when you talk to him?  Hey Dr. P....they're way beyond anything like that helping them.  Pastor Cal wasn't great but he was miles ahead of Dr. Pepper.

 

 

On 10/8/2020 at 10:08 AM, Ilovepie said:

Yep. He is a being called a gentleman, but in reality he is a coward. Instead of saying, "I really don't like when you are rude to the production" he says "you're impatient". When she asks if he finds her attractive, he mumbles in the most half-hearted manner "um yes, of course".

There is so many things wrong with the couple, including the fact they should never have been matched in the first place, but he is just as much at fault for not being honest with her as she is for all of her faults. I really don't think he was ever a good candidate for this any more than she was.

Yup! Classic coaster that collects red flags & checks out to say no on Decision Day. So TRANSPARENT!! He doesn't even buy his lies!! 😂😂 Christina's awful too. Like, she waited on him to try to build the marriage & did nothing herself. ABSURD!

[Lindz]

On 10/8/2020 at 6:08 PM, bichonblitz said:

I don't know if that will work for Amelia. She wants to start a family within a year or two. They are newly married and barely know each other. They don't have a firm, grounded foundation yet.  They need the time together. I think the distance and commuting will get old for her. Every two weeks can turn in to once a month, then once every six weeks, then once every three months, etc etc... not good for newlyweds. Bennett will need to make a choice eventually. I hope he chooses to be with Amelia full time, all the time. 

She's so enamored by him, she'd never voice an issue. Remember? He's PERFECT! 😂😂

[Lindz]

Aw man! I hoped it was editing trickery & Brett left, taking quarantine seriously. But, no. He really moved out, ending the marriage. Cool failure. 😂 They were the throwaway couple. So was Henry & Christina. The guys were coasting, flag collecting FAKES!! TYPICAL!!

[Lindz]

So Miles just sat back & built resentment, instead of SPEAKING his feelings & needs, like she feared?? Yup. So emotionally mature. 😒😒 I know feelings & needs don't matter when the partner doesn't care & Karen doesn't seem to actually care, still talking about physical affection like from a few episodes ago. 😞 She looked ridiculous, basically ignoring his existence. Doesn't even make sense. They both got crap edits. Hers was worse. WTF is WRONG with people?? #ICANTEVEN 😂

[Lindz]

What a joke!! 40 days & THAT'S all they had to show?? They set up cameras for slow mo & a too late check up?? EVERYONE FAILED!! Glad to see it didn't break the "strong" couples. Not looking good for the rest of the season.

[KateHearts]

12 hours ago, Lindz said:

Interesting scenario: one person ignoring the epidemic & the other taking it seriously. Glad I didn't have to live that.

 

2 hours ago, Lindz said:

I hoped it was editing trickery & Brett left, taking quarantine seriously.

In all fairness (and I posted this earlier), as a healthcare worker I can attest that most of us were OVERLY cautious, having to report to work knowing the virus was out there and we were in its presence. You cannot assume that she was "ignoring it;" how could she? Olivia in scrubs (we all changed right before leaving the hospital), "recklessly" checking on her family- these are all assumptions that none of us can make. How easily those who were able to truly stay home can make judgments on those who did report to work as essential employees. 

[Rae Spellman]

1 hour ago, KateHearts said:

In all fairness (and I posted this earlier), as a healthcare worker I can attest that most of us were OVERLY cautious, having to report to work knowing the virus was out there and we were in its presence. You cannot assume that she was "ignoring it;" how could she? Olivia in scrubs (we all changed right before leaving the hospital), "recklessly" checking on her family- these are all assumptions that none of us can make. How easily those who were able to truly stay home can make judgments on those who did report to work as essential employees. 

Oh, I'm still an Olivia fan and understand that the scrubs she wore on the couch may not be be scrubs she worked in all day. Also, who knows what the visit with her parents looked like. I visited my brother outside his home during month three. We wore masks and were six feet apart. He had everything delivered at that point instead of going to stores. When we visited our grandmother at the nursing home we were outside the building taking to her through the window. 

Some of the people making judgements may also be reporting to work as essential employees. Maybe not nurses or other health care workers. But, workers who are as nervous as Brett. Workers who report to buildings with colleagues who report doing all sorts of things after work and on the weekend. 

Brett sat close enough to Olivia before her trip to see her parents. So even though he was worried about Covid generally, he wasn't necessarily worried about Olivia bringing it to him. It's not really clear what his worry was regarding Olivia visiting her parents. Maybe he's a rule follower and was literally concerned that she wasn't following the rules of shelter in place.

I'd be more worried about Christina hanging out with "friends" who are doing who knows what. 

[humbleopinion]

25 minutes ago, Rhiannon Hunter said:

I'd be more worried about Christina hanging out with "friends" who are doing who knows what. 

Henry has had a self imposed  ten foot pole rule when it comes to getting near ChristinA, even before Covid, getting them in the same shot was a problem for the cameraman.

Brett took the shelter at home in place mandate literally...he questioned Olivia driving almost 5 hours away to see her Family and when she went ahead and left...so did he...back to his house.

Olivia has to be getting the extra sourpuss edit..have we seen her bust out in a laugh, get the giggles, guffaw even once?

The audience understands Olivia's frustration at getting an ill suited husband for her...but she could have attempted to make the best of quarantine...nothing wrong with Netflix and chilling with some stress busting hanky panky...wink, wink, nudge, nudge....

Brett tried time after time to get a smile out of her but she just can't let go and get silly and playful... he just gave up and amped up the sarcasm and retorts to express his frustration.

The cats must be relieved...they feel it when Mommy hates Daddy.