S11.E09: Opening Up Is Hard To Do

[gladitsover]

3 minutes ago, dirtypop90 said:

Miles continues to be more cringe by the week. His jokes were completely inappropriate given she’s only known him a couple weeks and is still trying to figure out of she likes him. He’s not listening To Karen and he lacks maturity.

It’s been offensive to hear that when a black woman says she wants a masculine man that must mean she wants a “thug” as if there aren’t masculine black men who are good men like a Barack Obama type. Assertive, confident, leader etc I’m not sure why “alpha” and “masculine” have become negative terms because of some bad apples. As if good men can’t be alphas. Good for those that do but not everyone likes beta males like miles and that’s ok.

Michelle Robinson (Obama) wasn't sure about Barack when she met him - he was a couple of years behind in school and was very confident - and I must say emotionally available - but he won her over!

14 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Henry’s phone screen

ChristinaMAFS    <<<<hahaha

Henry: Hello, Christina.....

It’s Henry, your MAFS husband...the guy you sneer at with contempt Every chance  you get...

Just wanted to check in on you (and hope you get hit by Bennett’s pedicab crossing the street)

Bye

best comment ever

[greeneyedscorpio]

11 hours ago, rebel2u said:

Brett has a sarcastic, dry sense of humor.  Olivia doesn't catch the nuance in his remarks,   Unless she can buy a sense of humor, I can't see this being a lasting relationship.  

I have the same type sense of humor as Brett, but he was irritating the crap out of me last night.  There's a time and place.  Sometimes you need to just stop, but he doesn't know how.  It's annoying. 

[gladitsover]

5 hours ago, ChiMama said:

I found it suspicious that it came up right after a night out with friends. Christina knows her baseline is being difficult, picking at people, and “impatient” (and believe me, her friends do too) and it feels like the group strategized a creative reason for it over margaritas — one that nice, supportive Henry would feel bad about either dissing her for or dismissing as the root cause of bitchiness. IMO her ‘real’ confession that all her relationships failed due to constant petty arguing and that she was the common denominator was WAY more revealing (and shockingly self-aware) and I don’t think adderall is a cure for that. Run, Henry!

I don't think Henry would run for anything - he would be afraid to trip and die...

[Empress1]

23 minutes ago, dirtypop90 said:

Miles continues to be more cringe by the week. His jokes were completely inappropriate given she’s only known him a couple weeks and is still trying to figure out of she likes him. He’s not listening To Karen and he lacks maturity.

It’s been offensive to hear that when a black woman says she wants a masculine man that must mean she wants a “thug” as if there aren’t masculine black men who are good men like a Barack Obama type. Assertive, confident, leader etc I’m not sure why “alpha” and “masculine” have become negative terms because of some bad apples. As if good men can’t be alphas. Good for those that do but not everyone likes beta males like miles and that’s ok.

I'm a Black woman and my issue with Karen is that she doesn't seem to think showing emotion is masculine, which is an opinion I staunchly disagree with (and actually one I think is harmful). I don't see Miles as a beta male just because he's in touch with his emotions, and that seems to be what she's basing her "he's not masculine" opinion on.

Also, one could argue that his joke about scheduling sex was a version of being assertive, and she freaked out. Even small things like putting the crab in the food; he went to do it and she took it from him.

Karen's dad didn't want to appear on camera and I wonder if he's one of those "show no emotion" type of men. A lot of Black men of a certain age are like that. My dad is like that. I love my dad very much, but I can absolutely understand how he would be difficult to be in a relationship with (my parents got divorced when I was in my teens). The best relationship I've had so far was with a man who was not like my dad - he was very in touch with his emotions, empathetic, went to therapy, etc. (And was an alpha type - c-level exec. So was my dad before he retired, but I think he was probably a sterner boss than that ex.)

Edited September 10, 2020 by Empress1

[Soup333]

33 minutes ago, dirtypop90 said:

Miles continues to be more cringe by the week. His jokes were completely inappropriate given she’s only known him a couple weeks and is still trying to figure out of she likes him. He’s not listening To Karen and he lacks maturity.

It’s been offensive to hear that when a black woman says she wants a masculine man that must mean she wants a “thug” as if there aren’t masculine black men who are good men like a Barack Obama type. Assertive, confident, leader etc I’m not sure why “alpha” and “masculine” have become negative terms because of some bad apples. As if good men can’t be alphas. Good for those that do but not everyone likes beta males like miles and that’s ok.

I feel like Miles is actively listening to Karen. He knows she loves to eat and cook and their interactions this episode were mostly centered around food. Learning how to cook so she doesn't have to bear the brunt of the responsibility (he listened to her friend who said her job was stressful and sometimes she needs a break), and going to the grocery store with her for what he considered a date. Even in the intimacy conversation he said he knows she prefers to move slow.

I think Karen is sending out all kinds of mixed signals and it wouldn't surprise me if Miles is as confused I am about what she really wants.

And I don't recall anyone saying she wanted a thug. Out of her own mouth she has said she wants a man who doesn't show emotions as much as Miles. She said that before she even met the guy.

[qtpye]

1 hour ago, humbleopinion said:

Olivia is just a drag....zero joie de vivre....no zest for life, no sense of humor, a void in her personality....a cranky, dry husk Auntie Olivia...

The happiest we have seen her was talking about TacoBell.

Her Ma, Heather and Jo must dread her daily yammering on about her same ol' grievances.....

If her job is so physically and mentally draining then why get married if there is no energy at the end of the day to interact with a spouse?

Bet the married with kids staff at her clinic are laughing their asses off at her martyr act....

Brett is not her husband for life but he is good enough company to just have a goof and laugh  for the next 5 weeks....

 

I would pay money to see footage of her at the Lil Wayne concert that she said she went to...it must be epic.

13 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

I'm a Black woman and my issue with Karen is that she doesn't seem to think showing emotion is masculine, which is an opinion I staunchly disagree with (and actually one I think is harmful). I don't see Miles as a beta male just because he's in touch with his emotions, and that seems to be what she's basing her "he's not masculine" opinion on.

Also, one could argue that his joke about scheduling sex was a version of being assertive, and she freaked out. Even small things like putting the crab in the food; he went to do it and she took it from him.

Karen's dad didn't want to appear on camera and I wonder if he's one of those "show no emotion" type of men. A lot of Black men of a certain age are like that. My dad is like that. I love my dad very much, but I can absolutely understand how he would be difficult to be in a relationship with (my parents got divorced when I was in my teens). The best relationship I've had so far was with a man who was not like my dad - he was very in touch with his emotions, empathetic, went to therapy, etc. (And was an alpha type - c-level exec. So was my dad before he retired, but I think he was probably a sterner boss than that ex.)

My father is also rather emotionally unavailable and It took me a while to learn that this is not particularly a great way to be. My father grew up at a different time and emotions in men were weaknesses, particularly in black men who are always judged more harshly.  I am happy that I am now with a man who is emotionally available and confident.

[Neurochick]

49 minutes ago, dirtypop90 said:

Miles continues to be more cringe by the week. His jokes were completely inappropriate given she’s only known him a couple weeks and is still trying to figure out of she likes him. He’s not listening To Karen and he lacks maturity.

I think Karen is the one who lacks maturity.  I heard Miles' joke and I took it just that, A JOKE. 

She's too skittish for an experiment like this.  She can't relax if her life depended on it.

[humbleopinion]

14 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

I'm crushing on him, dirty feet, stained nightshirt, and all. 

Nothing a stiff scrub brush, shower gel, Oxyclean detergent and bleach for his  once white socks can't fix...

When he strengthens his core he will be able to get up on the slackline.

His answer to the question about  their sex  life was respectful and matter of fact.

He's and she's a joy to watch.

Amelia's Fun Day for Bennett ends with him beating a butterfly pinata...haha

[Rae Spellman]

7 hours ago, gladitsover said:

Michelle Robinson (Obama) wasn't sure about Barack when she met him - he was a couple of years behind in school and was very confident - and I must say emotionally available - but he won her over!

Maybe Miles should watch Southside With You. 

Then again while I'm rooting for Miles, I'm not rooting for Miles and Karen. If Miles isn't too wounded by this starter marriage Karen's loss will be some more appreciative woman's gain. 

I'm imagining a world where post MAFS Olivia is still friends w/ Amani and she and Miles end up dating briefly b/c they continue to see each other at Woody and Amani's social events. 

Edited September 11, 2020 by RaeSpellman

[Archer27]

I get that Brett is trying to be funny, but his sarcasm is infuriating. I did not like him from the first time he appeared on screen, and my dislike has only intensified. Olivia may be a bore, but she does not deserve his feeble attempts to amuse. No way will they stay married. I predict they will never speak again after decision day.

Amelia and Bennett are wonderful together. But, how does an adult only have so few socks? I have way too many...I should sent them some. 

Woody and Amani are great. I do understand her hesitation the whole love thing. In the end, I think they will stay together.

ChristinA and Henry...definitely top 3 worst couples ever matched on MAFS.  She acts as though she is too good for him. She is not. He does not like her at all. They will never speak again after this is done.

And finally...Karen...I must separate her from Miles. As some other posters here have mentioned, she does not know what she wants. I also do suspect that she is not over her previous boyfriend (creep that he is), and cannot accept love. She never should have applied to be on this show. Miles will be fine after this. He is a handsome, caring, and generous guy. At the end, he will know that he tried to make this relationship work with an unwilling Karen. (I CANNOT stand when she constantly talks about being "unsafe" - girl, please. If she did not want to risk feeling insecure and vulnerable, she never should have applied. 

 

 

 

[humbleopinion]

3 hours ago, Archer27 said:

(I CANNOT stand when she constantly talks about being "unsafe" - girl, please. If she did not want to risk feeling insecure and vulnerable, she never should have applied.

Agreed.

The "experts" needs to step in and redeem Miles' reputation by calling Karen out for grossly over reacting to Mile's words...they are not endangering her safety, he is not menacing her...

Edited September 11, 2020 by humbleopinion

[Starlight925]

Karen wants an alpha male, because that's what she's attracted to.

Her last "alpha male" boyfriend got another woman pregnant, while they were dating.  

How'd that work out for you, Karen?

So the experts matched her with a man of high emotional intelligence, who is not afraid to share his feelings, and who enjoys doing things for her.  Oh, and he's passionate about what he does for a living, and he's one of the handsomest men I've ever seen on this show.  

As much as I want to like Karen, she needs to speak to someone in a therapeutic sense as to why she can't/won't even hold Miles' hand.

And as beautiful as I think she is, and how much I love her natural hair, that one talking head with the poodle bun on top of her head needs to git gone.

Edited September 10, 2020 by Starlight925

[Myrtle Urkele]

I think Miles was trying to display the assertiveness that Karen said she wanted in her partner. That has to be the most assertive or "aggressive"Miles has been on MAFS. A miscalculation and a misstep up on his part? *Yes. But it goes to show that it's not a part of his temperament and folks *shouldn't* be pushed to go out of their nature. 

Edited September 11, 2020 by Myrtle Urkele

[Starlight925]

1 minute ago, Myrtle Urkele said:

I think Miles was trying to display the assertiveness that Karen said she wanted in her partner. That has to be the most assertive or "aggressive"Miles has been on MAFS. A miscalculation and a messed up on his part? *Yes. But it goes to show that it's not a part of his nature and folks *shouldn't* be pushed to go out of their nature. 

That's how I viewed it too.  She keeps saying she wants assertive; well, here it is.  I also took it as a bit joke-y from him.  I thought it was fun.

If Woody did that to Amani, or Bennett to Amelia, the women would have laughed it off, made a joke, and that would be that.  Olivia or Christina, notsomuch.

Miles keeps trying.  Give the guy points.

[LennieBriscoe]

6 hours ago, Jaclyn88 said:

Karen is honestly such a Karen . Holy moly , Loosen up !! Everything she says or responds to is a passive aggressive wise crack . I feel like she got married hoping her match would be an asshole . 
 

Olivia keeps saying she wants to have fun And be adventurous , but she has such a monotone , Not fun personality . Brett is annoying without a doubt , but she’s just so blah .

Olivia chose the Swamp Tour, yet she evinced zero enthusiasm, like no "Wow! Look at that gator, Brett! Don't see that back home!" She also seems to be deficient in the sense of humor department (Karen doesn't shop there, either). I'd like to know more about her travels and what interested her most. 

I was truly impressed with Henry as golf coach, because he was unfailingly supportive of and even complimentary about Christina's fledgling efforts. So far he's giving her the benefit of the ADD meds, so Christina had better not put the lie to her behavior rationale! As for the Salsa, we need to see a Henry in his cups, dancing off-camera! 

Karen has a stick up, IYKWIMAITYD. Miles pleases too much, he pleases too little. He says the wrong thing, he writes the wrong thing, he feels the wrong thing. Miles must wonder what more he can do, when for whatever reasons Karen wants him to do less. He should ask her what's her favorite dog. If she says definitely not a Golden Retriever, take the hint, Miles!

So many of these young people need to let loose! Excepting, of course, Woody (Amani better not tamp down  his effervescence!), Amelia, and Bennett!

 

 

 

Edited September 10, 2020 by LennieBriscoe

[topanga]

17 hours ago, endure said:

I actually made that ⬆️ response before I saw the interaction they shared in the kitchen, I feel like Miles stepped over the line there, he just lost points with me, hope he can amend and do better, she didn't need that kind of pressure IMO.

I think Miles is just throwing everything at the wall and seeing what sticks. Because so far nothing is. Karen doesn't like it when he jokes around--he's immature. She doesn't like it when he's affectionate--she's not used to people "being all over her," and Miles is a stranger. She doesn't like it when Miles is nice--she doesn't trust that he's sincere. She doesn't like it when he's open and vulnerable--that's not manly. She doesn't like it when he mentions sex--"How dare he! We're strangers." Karen is just not attracted to Miles, period. I wish she would be honest with him and tell him that. The man cannot read a room. Or maybe he's just holding onto the hope that she will grow to love him. Unfortunately, if she feels nothing for him up till this point, I doubt she ever will. 

[humbleopinion]

Bottle salad dressing with a chef standing right there?

Then drowning the salad with it... so wrong...

[Adeejay]

7 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Boy, she really switched her tune from last week.  Guess production read her the riot act.

From the moment Pastor Cal called Christina a "diva", I had a feeling she'd been labeled "difficult to work with."  For a moment there, I thought she was going to tell Henry she was leaving.    

Even though Miles and Karen seemed to be getting along fairly well, I think he overplayed his hand.  That was a very presumptuous thing to do.  If she had feelings for him, she would have thought it “sweet”.  However, because she doesn’t, it made her feel “unsafe”.  I agree with the posters that said she is looking for an out.  

[bichonblitz]

21 hours ago, Brooklynista said:

Mild annoyance: the chef had Miles and Karen dress the salad too early. That salad is going to wilt.

A good chef would never use lettuce out of a bag and bottled dressing. They would use lettuce that you wash and prep yourself and make your own dressing but this is Miles we are talking about and he doesn't know how to cook so I guess chef buddy took the easiest and most simplistic way out.

[Mrs. Button]

Quote

Even when she was walking with Amani she was blah so it's not just Brett that she's that way with. She's a bore. I bet traveling the world with her would be non stop fun. 

It's amazing what losing, oh, 175 depressing, judgmental and skinflint pounds can do for one's outlook on life. She is miserable married to him and I don't blame her a bit.

Quote

I have only watched half of last night's episode, but something has really started bugging me the last couple episodes since they returned from the honeymoon. I am really getting tired of them just going from couple to couple having them do the exact same activity. Last night it was answering the "how do you know when you are in love?" question. My God, this is lazy and boring editing! This whole thing is beyond staged now. They are all living in identical spaces doing identical activities! And after breaking the fourth wall with ChristinA last week, it is really obvious how closely the producers guide every interaction that we are shown. I mean, I knew they stage stuff, but it's really getting ridiculous now. Watching FIVE couples do the same thing is just redundant.

My hunch is they're stretching out the pre-pandemic tape, because quarantine footage is a complete snoozefest.

Quote

Miles continues to be more cringe by the week. His jokes were completely inappropriate given she’s only known him a couple weeks and is still trying to figure out of she likes him. He’s not listening To Karen and he lacks maturity.

I'll take Miles' "immaturity" over whatever positive traits Karen has to offer (sparkling personality it's definitely not!). And I'll take Bennett's dirty feet and innate kindness over Brett's oversized nostrils and sarcastic, smug attitude infinitely. 

Edited September 10, 2020 by Mrs. Button

[bichonblitz]

19 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

Even though Miles and Karen seemed to be getting along fairly well, I think he overplayed his hand.  That was a very presumptuous thing to do.  If she had feelings for him, she would have thought it “sweet”.  However, because she doesn’t, it made her feel “unsafe”.  I agree with the posters that said she is looking for an out.  

I take it as Miles becoming hornier by the hour and losing his patience waiting for Karen to do the deed so he blurted out his frustration. Not good any way you look at the situation. Basically, SO WHEN ARE YOU GONNA WANNA DO IT? HOW MUCH LONGER DO I HAVE TO WAIT? Yikes.  

[humbleopinion]

37 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

From the moment Pastor Cal called Christina a "diva", I had a feeling she'd been labeled "difficult to work with."  For a moment there, I thought she was going to tell Henry she was leaving.   

And go live in her car?...

ChristinA has no local address....

[Ilovepie]

1 hour ago, Archer27 said:

(I CANNOT stand when she constantly talks about being "unsafe" - girl, please. If she did not want to risk feeling insecure and vulnerable, she never should have applied. 

If she feels "unsafe" with this guy, is there a man on this planet she would feel safe with???? Maybe Henry since he moves about as slow as she does.......

[Ilovepie]

34 minutes ago, Mrs. Button said:

My hunch is they're stretching out the pre-pandemic tape, because quarantine footage is a complete snoozefest.

Maybe, but they did make all five couples do the exact same activities and answer the exact same questions. At least in the old seasons it was a fishbowl of questions and there might be some variety in what the couples choose to answer.

[Linarina]

5 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Olivia has to get rid of that bun.  

*nose

[humbleopinion]

2 minutes ago, Linarina said:

*nose

hooked nose

[Haute Messe]

9 hours ago, qtpye said:

Karen seems to treat Miles like a little brother. His naturally sweet and open nature is actually a bit of a turn off to her. When he came barrelling at her like a puppy dog in bed...I was like no, Miles. It is not right, but she is reading this as needy and weak. If he toned it down a notch, she would really open up to him. Again, it is not right but Karen has some preconceived notions of manliness and Miles, as great as he acts, is just not fitting the bill.

That is exactly how I see it as well, including the puppy comparison - he is like a big clumsy Labrador pup. And her preconceived notions do not seem to have worked out so well for her in the past. I truly think that this is when the "experts" might be able to make themselves useful, but they seem to wait until the damage is too far gone.

I appreciate Brett's sarcasm and find Olivia to be such a buzz kill. These two are hopeless if they can't even have a laugh together.

I find the timing of ChristinA's ADD confession to be suspect. It boggles my mind how anybody could have though these two would be a good match. And I certainly don't think she would have worked with Brett either.

Just love Amani and Woody - that burka/burger exchange was hilarious!

The odds of Amelia and Bennett both applying for this show at the same time is also a little strange. I wonder if they knew each other a little better than we are being led to believe.

[humbleopinion]

8 minutes ago, lizajane said:

The odds of Amelia and Bennett both applying for this show at the same time is also a little strange. I wonder if they knew each other a little better than we are being led to believe.

Bennett was recruited through a friend's agent.

Amelia applied....and the rest is history....

[Haute Messe]

11 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Bennett was recruited through a friend's agent.

Amelia applied....and the rest is history....

It is odd that there were two such quirky people - unless they are a dime a dozen in New Orleans 🙂

[Ilovepie]

25 minutes ago, lizajane said:

hat is exactly how I see it as well, including the puppy comparison - he is like a big clumsy Labrador pup.

I said the same last week! He is a Labrador or Golden Retriever, and she is a fancy poodle. She wanted a Doberman.

[Racj82]

On 9/10/2020 at 2:01 PM, dirtypop90 said:

Miles continues to be more cringe by the week. His jokes were completely inappropriate given she’s only known him a couple weeks and is still trying to figure out of she likes him. He’s not listening To Karen and he lacks maturity.

It’s been offensive to hear that when a black woman says she wants a masculine man that must mean she wants a “thug” as if there aren’t masculine black men who are good men like a Barack Obama type. Assertive, confident, leader etc I’m not sure why “alpha” and “masculine” have become negative terms because of some bad apples. As if good men can’t be alphas. Good for those that do but not everyone likes beta males like miles and that’s ok.

The history Karen herself has described have led people to believe that a more thuggish type of guy is what she wants. She's also vague on what's she thinks masculine besides non emotional. And Miles has done things that should soften her more in a masculine way but it doesn't read that way at all. And it's not always about race. I'm not judging her as a black woman. I'm judging her as woman who seems to have a broken dial in terms of choosing her mate.

And her preferences don't seem to be working for her so maybe she could at least try to be open to something different. 

There is a middle ground in terms of what masculine or assertive could mean but the verdict is out on whether that would matter to Karen in regards to Miles.

Also, I would label every guys humor this season more on the lame side but if the mate is feeling them like with Amelia and Amani they love it because they are digging them. With Olivia and Karen, they don't because overall they aren't digging their mate.

Edited September 15, 2020 by Racj82

[Retired at last]

There is an article in the Spoilers' forum where Karen attempts to clarify her meaning of "masculinity" and says that her words were edited (really - how could that happen??)

[ShowFan]

Ugh..Karen..all these plastic bags in the grocery shopping? Sickening! Get reusable bags. 

[Alexander Pope]

OMG could Olivia be more depressed?? I thought when she was walking with Amani that she was going to throw herself into the swamp!!

[humbleopinion]

1 minute ago, Alexander Pope said:

OMG could Olivia be more depressed?? I thought when she was walking with Amani that she was going to throw herself into the swamp!!

Wished Amani had pushed Olivia’s monotone voiced ass into the swamp gator pond to put her out of her misery.

[Bees52]

14 hours ago, TeapotWakeen said:

 

Who else wants to start a GoFundMe for Socks for Bennett and Amelia? 😎

For socks, a broom, a dust mop, maybe some floor cleaner and some new night shirts for him in colors other than mustard yellow. 💵 🛒

[qtpye]

34 minutes ago, Alexander Pope said:

OMG could Olivia be more depressed?? I thought when she was walking with Amani that she was going to throw herself into the swamp!!

I think Olivia is the opposite of Henry and Karen. Those two were immediately not attracted to their spouses and have to be won over (probably will never happen).

I think Olivia was initially very attracted to Brett ....remember how we all thought he was definitely going to break her heart?

However, she was devastatingly disappointed his life philosophy and probably wants nothing to do with him anymore and it might be that the feeling is mutual. She probably feels like she opened up a shiny beautiful package and got a some dirty old rubber bands.

I do not think Brett likes her either (though due more to economics than lack of physical attraction) and his sarcasm is just a defense mechanism to bide his time till decisions day....if they make it that long.

In an ideal world, they both would want out of this marriage immediately...they actually probably dislike each other much more than Henry and Christina, at least at this point in the experiment. 

[gingerandcloves]

Karen is trying my last nerve. She said she wants a masculine guy who takes the lead, but when Miles tries to, he's moving too fast and being pushy. And the way she was questioning why he likes to talk about his emotions...Karen, most women would kill for a partner who is open with their emotions. Woody seems very open with his feelings, and you don't see Amani running for the hills. She might joke with him a bit, and tell him to pump the brakes, but she doesn't call him a weirdo, which is basically what Karen does to Miles.

Woody and Amani continue to delight. I not only need a framed picture for my piano but a snowglobe with tiny Woody and Amani figures inside. I love that Woody was super chill about going to get a pedicure, and do the coloring pages with Amani. That man is a gem.

Henry moved the needle slightly this episode. He was very understanding and kind to ChristinA about her medication confession. I'm not sure I'm buying her story, but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt for now. He did a good job teaching her golf, and it was nice of him to take the lead and book them a salsa lesson. I just feel like I know nothing about either of them.

Olivia and Brett continue to be a complete mismatch. Other than cats, they don't seem to have much in common. She was a dud this whole ep, and he was being sarcastic and immature when they were going through the questions. What's going to happen when the pandemic hits and she's not going to be able to go out and eat dinner, travel, etc. etc.? I have to say, the pandemic is a blessing in disguise for these couples (and a lot of others) - it's really make or break time when you have to spend 24/7 with your spouse and there's no escape or distractions.

Bennett and Amelia are developing organically and having a lot of fun. They are one of the most real couples ever to be on MAFS. I like the whole surprise Amelia planned for Bennett, and it was nice of her to go out and get ginger when he was feeling sick. I see a lot of natural give and take with them.

[Yeah No]

That's interesting that people think Miles stepped over the line.  I think he was just being playful with the calendar - I would have quipped back, "In your dreams, buster", or "We'll see, just don't pressure me too much", knowing from past experience that he's really a gentleman and wouldn't push me.  No reason to get offended, Karen.  But truthfully, if she really wants a "masculine" man she has to expect that he's going to actually take the lead with sex.  He wasn't trying to take off her clothes, he was just stating (in an indirect way) what he really wants from her.  And what's wrong with stating that he wants sex sooner rather than later?  She should have taken the scheduling thing as a sign that he is masculine and can take the lead with sex, too.  It actually would have been a huge turn-on for me.  Up until now he has been so patient and laid back with her that it could have been misinterpreted as being "weak" by her.  But then just when he does react in a masculine way, about it and takes the lead by stating his desires, she gets offended by it!   It boggles the mind!  Well then WTF does she REALLY want then?  At this point even on a visceral level, there is no doubt that Miles is one masculine guy.  He could sit there and talk about his feelings all day and I'd be like, "Do go on, big fella, tell me how you REALLY feel", LOL.  It wouldn't take away one iota from his masculinity!

I am sorry but I think Karen needs to get over herself.  She has a lot of preconceived ideas about masculinity and femininity that IMO bear no resemblance to reality.

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, qtpye said:

I think Olivia is the opposite of Henry and Karen. Those two were immediately not attracted to their spouses and have to be won over (probably will never happen).

I think Olivia was initially very attracted to Brett ....remember how we all thought he was definitely going to break her heart?

However, she was devastatingly disappointed his life philosophy and probably wants nothing to do with him anymore and it might be that the feeling is mutual. She probably feels like she opened up a shiny beautiful package and got a some dirty old rubber bands.

I do not think Brett likes her either (though due more to economics than lack of physical attraction) and his sarcasm is just a defense mechanism to bide his time till decisions day....if they make it that long.

In an ideal world, they both would want out of this marriage immediately...they actually probably dislike each other much more than Henry and Christina, at least at this point in the experiment. 

I agree with you - I think one of the early turn-offs for Olivia was in feeling like Brett was being dismissive of her desire to travel and enjoy life, and acted like it was too expensive and a sign of being too spendy with money.  Dude, you just met this woman, what are you trying to do, turn her off completely?  Because that's how it hit me.  I would have been crushed if a new guy reacted that way to things I hold near and dear like traveling and eating out.  It's not like she was acting like she took her entire paycheck and spent it on frivolous expensive things, but he took it that way.  And his going over her bills did feel a little "mansplain-y" to me, like he assumes she doesn't know how to manage her money and needs him to "help" her.  I don't remember her ever saying she had difficulty with managing her finances.  She was open to his suggestions but out of being polite.  She may have debt but so do a lot of people.  She also makes a lot of money compared to Brett too so he may see it as a lot more debt than it really is for her income level.

Now, don't get me wrong, Olivia bugs me a lot and I see a stick up her butt that rubs me the wrong way.  She likely wanted a guy with more money that wanted to enjoy some of the finer things in life with her, but there's nothing wrong with that.  It's just that Brett isn't the right guy for her.  I still think he is threatened by the fact that she as a woman makes more money than he does and has to find a reason to act like the "more responsible" one in the relationship.

[Yeah No]

21 hours ago, RaeSpellman said:

Miles was right. Grocery shopping can be a date. He should have pursued some of that conversation off-camera.

Yes, that annoyed me too.  Wow, what preconceived ideas Karen has about relationships!  I hate to say that she might be very high maintenance in a relationship.  A guy would always have to find just exactly the "sweet spot" that will please her because of all her hang ups and unrealistic expectations.  And poor Miles seems like just the kind of people pleasing kind of guy that will always try ever harder to find her "holy grail" but inevitably fail.  She reminds me of a friend's mother that had all kinds of things on her list of things that did not "qualify" as a gift from a man.  Unless it was some kind of overly romantic, stereotypical gesture of a gift such as flowers, jewelry, box of candy, etc., she wouldn't accept it.  What a b...... I hate that word but I can't help it.

[Yeah No]

22 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

”I’m on a tight rotation of socks” says Amelia.

OK, don't get me wrong - I love Bennett and Amelia but his socks are just gross and both of them out in that park looked like they hadn't showered in a week nor washed or combed their hair.  I get the partial "Jewfro" - I'm 25% and I have just about the same amount of kink as Amelia, especially on hot, humid days.  So I more than anyone understands the problem.  But I have a very quick and safe solution - It's known as an ionic blow dryer, smoothing shampoo and conditioner, and a safe, damage-free flat iron at 360 degrees for 5 minutes.  THAT's ALL IT TAKES.  So it bugs me no end to see Amelia's hair looking a rat's nest.  Plus I am not a stickler for makeup but she (like me) has that dead fish belly white complexion that needs a little something-something, LOL.  OK, I'm done with being shallow, back to loving them and overlooking these things.

Edited September 11, 2020 by Yeah No

[Yeah No]

On 9/9/2020 at 8:27 PM, gonecrackers said:

Yeah, & I think ChristinA is full of shit. So many people, young & old, take ADD meds. I have a 50 something yo friend who just started them. She also wasn't bitchy & impatient before starting them.

If ChristinA's going after a sympathy lay from Henry that ain't happening.

Yeah, I'm still wondering what that was all about.  I think maybe she's having second thoughts about the way she's been treating him and is looking for a convenient excuse for her behavior, hoping she can play the sympathy card with him - after all, she did find out from his friends that he can be very empathetic toward their problems.  Hmmm.....seems calculated to me.

And while I'm being skeptical, there is something that feels mildly off about her whole "revelation".  I don't know that much about ADD but I have known a few people with it, and never would have guessed that she had it and was off her meds.  Bitchy and impatient doesn't correlate with their symptoms or behavior AT ALL.  So what is she trying to blame on her ADD?  Being a b**ch?  Again, I hate that word but it's feeling so appropriate tonight, LOL.  Plus why be all embarrassed about it?  Today nobody thinks less of anyone with ADD.  So why did she frame it like some big confession that she was afraid he wouldn't accept?  Something is off there and my gut instinct tells me she is full of it too!  I wonder what we're going to find out about her that might make sense out of Henry's "pattern of lying" comment in that preview.

[LennieBriscoe]

Let's re-wind, re: Karen. She had an SO who impregnated another woman.

Meaning: That Guy had to have been spending major time away from Karen, making excuses for his absences (aka lying) or simply ignoring her.

Meaning: Karen was home pining, wondering, waiting for a phone call.

Meaning: Her idea of a manly man is one with a take-it-or-leave-it attitude; a man who acts strictly on what he desires or needs; a man who isn't around all the time. But when he is around, he's the boss, or else. Make her dinner? Fix her car? Getouttahere! 

My advice to Miles: Cool it with the emotional and sexual talk, including asking Karen how she is or what she's feeling. Just be. You want to make dinner? Fine; make it without any "I did it for you, my Queen" (not his words) prologue. Fix her car without any spoken "I like to be helpful" component. 

Don't be any kind of dog! Be a Big Cat! 🐯

[Yeah No]

13 hours ago, Empress1 said:

Karen could have rolled with it - someone said she could have tossed back some banter, like "Boy, you're never gonna get it if you schedule it!" or something, but instead she is up! Set! and now she has her out.

LOL, I hadn't even read this post when I made my very similar comments on this - Great minds think alike!

[Kira53]

15 hours ago, qtpye said:

I am very ignorant about ADD medication. I did have a very smart and kind friend in college who went on antidepressants.  He gained quite a bit of weight with the medicine.  He came off it and it was not pretty.

I wonder if the ADD medications caused her to gain weight and that is why she went off them before appearing on TV? Her mother being unsupportive probably did not help. 

ADD meds are usually appetite suppressants.  

[Rae Spellman]

5 hours ago, lizajane said:

It is odd that there were two such quirky people - unless they are a dime a dozen in New Orleans 🙂

In a city of 400k there might be a dozen Amelias and a dozen Bennetts. I'm more shocked that there was someone in New Orleans willing to be filmed wearing dirty socks. I might be more appalled by the idea that there is at least one doctor willing to bang a dude with such poor hygiene than I was by that teacher who was strung out on that washed up basketball player. They'll be fine. But, I can't root for them. 

35 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Let's re-wind, re: Karen. She had an SO who impregnated another woman.

Meaning: That Guy had to have been spending major time away from Karen, making excuses for his absences (aka lying) or simply ignoring her.

Meaning: Karen was home pining, wondering, waiting for a phone call.

Alternative 1: There was a woman, or a few women with whom Karen's ex occasionally hooked up. A few times a month/year. When Karen was having dinner with her friends or working late, he texted that woman, or a few women to see who was available and willing at that moment.

Alternative 2: Karen was living the dream of being part of a power couple. He worked long hours and banged a colleague or secretary a few times at the office and/or on business trips. 

Alternative 3: He went to his 15 year high school reunion. For whatever reason, Karen didn't go with him. He had an unexpected weekend fling w/ his high school sweetheart and returned home to Karen.

On Unfiltered, Miles says he was out doing Woody-like things, too. Either on Unfiltered on in this episode he also said he didn't necessarily want a relationship w/ traditional gender roles. 

Other Thoughts: Woody said this is the second time he's been in love. Maybe the other time was the 3-4 year relationship he mentioned. Amani has given Woody plenty so far. It's okay for her to try to pace herself with regard to declarations of love. He seems to thinks she loves him anyway and is just on a mission to get her to admit it. Even though it's probably lust or infatuation at this point. Woody makes some curious choices for someone so obsessed w/ what things look like. Smell is important to him, too. I wonder how he smells! I'm imagining cologne that would make me sneeze.

[LennieBriscoe]

Re: Karen's ex: Not quite sure how very specific imagined scenarios are "alternatives" to my generalities! 

[Sepalma23]

Quick question because maybe I’ve missed it. Have Christina and Henry EVER kissed since the wedding??  A peck or anything??  I haven’t seen it. It’s just so obvious these 2 won’t make it 

[psychoticstate]

I used to think that Christina and Henry were the worst matched couple but nope, that honor now goes to Olivia and Brett.  I liked Olivia at first but she's becoming Molly 2.0 in my book.  She said at first that she was fun, loved to go out and do things, has a great sense of humor, etc.  but we've seen precious little of that.  I get that Brett is no prize but I was laughing at some of what he said. Of course, I love sarcasm but still . . . Olivia acts like an annoyed mother.  It's slightly ironic that the partner who is frugal as all get out has the sense of humor and the partner who is more laid back financially has a stick up her butt regarding everything else.

Speaking of Christina and Henry, I have to admit that I was actually smiling -- SMILING! -- during their scenes.  Maybe I ate some bad food or something but I am starting to hope that maybe these two can find some common ground. Or at least try to enjoy each other's company during the next 5 weeks.  I will give it to them that neither of them got impatient or frustrated with the golf or the salsa dancing, where one of them was clearly out of his/her comfort zone in each activity.  

Amelia and Bennett should have zero concerns.  The work situation is probably a nonissue, just like it was for Jessica and Austin last season.

I'll be the first to admit that I thought Amani and Woody had zero chance of making it in the first episode but they really do seem well matched.  I don't blame her for being hesitant to put the "L" word out there so quickly and I hope he understands that.  

Does anyone know how long before MAFS that Karen's last relationship ended?  I've said it before and I'll say it again.  She needs therapy, real therapy, and if the "experts" were worth a pinch of their salt, they would recognize that.  She strikes me as someone who applied on a whim, or thinking it would help her get over her ex, and was probably freaked out when she got chosen.  She was probably desperate to see who her intended was and recruited friends to find out for her, so that she could have something to use from the start as her escape clause.  She's using Miles' sensitivity as a cockblock, basically -- and I don't mean that just in the physical sense.  She's terrified to get close to him because she's terrified to be receptive to anyone right now.  Again, she needs therapy.  Deep down, I'm guessing she knows that Miles is a really good, decent guy.  There's a reason that she's chosen the lying, cheating alpha males she has.  Again, therapy, Karen.  

As another poster said upthread, I see Karen as more emotionally immature than Miles.  Miles tried to have an honest conversation with her about intimacy (since he has zero idea what her thoughts are since she won't even hold his hand and has only kissed him maybe twice).  She was very clearly uncomfortable.  If it was because of the cameras, she should have said so but she reacted like a 14 year old might, trying to change the subject and busying herself with activities so she didn't have to look at him.  I think Miles was attempting to joke around with her by scheduling any kind of intimacy but she is so terrified of any kind of connection with him that she recoiled and bolted.  If the "experts" were shown this footage, they should have hauled ass over to their apartment pronto.