S05.E06: The Text Heard 'Round the Lake House

[OnceSane]

Quote

The ladies host a pageant to help pass the time at Monique's lake house; Wendy and Ashley make amends; Candiace receives a shocking text about one of the women's husbands, and she debates whether to break the news.

Airs September 6, 2020.

[Keywestclubkid]

Giselle girl stir that pot... lol

[Bronzedog]

Bronzedog Still Not A Doctor here.  I wonder if it ever occurs to Wendy that you can have a good, successful life without having a doctorate.  Plenty of people like firemen, nurses, etc. do important jobs without one.  Hell, I need a plumber more often than I need someone with a doctorate.

 I like Monique's house but those were some Marlo Furniture  looking headboards in the bedroom.

Edited September 7, 2020 by Bronzedog

[Keywestclubkid]

Good to see them actually bonding ... Wendy isn’t wrong about Karen and her fakeness ... maybe ray is just tired of being fake on camera and doesn’t wanna do it anymore Karen always seems to be putting on “airs” I’m sure it’s super tiring and at rays age he just doesn’t wanna do it anymore ... let’s be honest what couple that’s been together for that long acts like teenagers with the I loves you every 5 minutes..

Edited September 7, 2020 by Keywestclubkid

[LibertarianSlut]

Monique on Wendy:  “We already have a Candiace.”  Truer words.

Chris would rather get in women’s business than talk about the bird.  Ha ha ha.  He still seems like a jerk though.  

Monique may actually take her bake-offs more seriously than Gizelle.  A few seasons ago, Gizelle accused Karen of cheating at the Jack and Jill bake-off when they first met.  Candiace’s super-serious analysis of the pancakes was funny.  I was glad Monique won, just because Gizelle got knocked down a peg.  Maybe she’s the baddest one walking and talking, but not the baddest one cooking apparently.  

Wendy was wrong in taking out her anguish about the baby on Ashley, but when she was talking to Gizelle, I understood where the impulse was coming from.  It was totally on Wendy to ask to bring her baby if she wanted to bring her baby, but she goofed up, she neglected to ask, and she probably felt foolish when she saw Ashely’s baby and she processed it totally incorrectly.  It just reminded me of the way I felt the one time I got to attend a house party with an indoor pool and I didn’t think to bring my bathing suit.  I felt very envious of the girls who did have bathing suits, though it didn’t manifest the way Wendy did, to say the least.  

I’m glad Ashley and Wendy apologized to each other though.  Women on these franchises have such a hard time apologizing that it often takes them a season or more to hash out an issue.  This is so much more interesting.  Ashley is messy, but she speaks beautifully.  I think she is one of the smartest Housewives ever cast and I have always enjoyed watching her spar and plan.  

Watching these women try to call their significant others reminded me how fucked the majority of the relationships are on this franchise right now.  Michael, Jamal, Ray, yikes.  

I loved this episode and this vacation.  It was so unpretentious and unselfconscious.  It reminded me of the time they went to southern Pennsylvania a few seasons back.  I think that was when Ashley wore Karen’s wig.  This time they had the Lady of the Lake pageant.  I find that so much more entertaining than “vacation porn,” like the South of France or the Caymans.  I can watch that on The Travel Channel.  This lets me get to know them, and they’re so likable in this setting. 

“Anybody talk about Gizelle’s stovepipe legs?”  Karen is winning this season!  Gizelle’s shady pageant questions were also great.  I wish they’d ask that shit at real pageants.  I loved how into it Candiace and Ashley were.  I thought they were both quite talented.  

Damn production, you’ll blur Michael’s name, but not his picture.  I can’t say I don’t appreciate that.  What I’m most surprised about regarding this Michael situation is not that he had a boyfriend, but that he remembered to tell the other bar patrons about his wife.  

Did Robyn actually try to spin the Juan situation to make it sound like he was a better partner than Chris because he was humbled?!?  Ok, Robyn, I’m just going to let that one sit.  A humble man would have gone down to the flea market and gotten a $100 ring and gone down to the justice of the peace and remarried Robyn if he loved her.  Juan is still smelling himself.  Big time.  

Michael is out there “on these streets”?  My only question is whether he ran into Sherman creeping round the park?

This episode was epic on so many levels.  Other franchises, take copious notes!

[Bronzedog]

Other than the company, I would have loved that weekend and Giselle is bitching about wanting to go back inside.  Hell no!

Also, for people not familiar with Maryland, Newburg is maybe 90 minutes away from DC, if that.  It's not some remote backwater that some of the women made it sound like.

 

 

[Keywestclubkid]

25 minutes ago, Bronzedog said:

Other than the company, I would have loved that weekend and Giselle is bitching about wanting to go back inside.  Hell no!

Also, for people not familiar with Maryland, Newburg is maybe 90 minutes away from DC, if that.  It's not some remote backwater that some of the women made it sound like.

 

 

Right? I was like I’d be super glad to just relax and chill .. what the fuck were these ladies bitching about ... but on the other hand these ladies know that that’s not what this show wants it doesn’t want them just laying around relaxing that’s not what pays the bills ... they need to invite Luanne over and let her and candance have a happy birthday off since that is both of their favorite songs to belt out 

Edited September 7, 2020 by Keywestclubkid

[truthaboutluv]

37 minutes ago, LibertarianSlut said:

I loved this episode and this vacation.  It was so unpretentious and unselfconscious.  It reminded me of the time they went to southern Pennsylvania a few seasons back.  I think that was when Ashley wore Karen’s wig.  This time they had the Lady of the Lake pageant.  I find that so much more entertaining than “vacation porn,” like the South of France or the Caymans.  I can watch that on The Travel Channel.  This lets me get to know them, and they’re so likable in this setting. 

I've never been into candid reality shows. It's why I don't watch any of the other Housewives shows or the million other Bravo candid reality shows. Competitive reality shows like Survivor have always been more my thing. So it surprised me that I got into this franchise and I finally realized your quote is exactly why. For all their messiness, these women feel the most normal to me and like people I could actually know and be friends with.

[Bronzedog]

Um, Ashley?  That yellow in the crab is definitely shit.

[drivethroo]

Wendy vs. Ashley

Both Wendy and Ashley were wrong  and I'm glad they did apologize to each other.  I think Gizelle going to Wendy and expressing how she felt about the situation & the need for an apology one on one was better than the entire table ganging up on Wendy to force an apology.  She saw them do that to Candiace and wasn't about to let it happen to her.  The same should've been done with Candiace vs. Ashley and Katie vs. Ashley.

Gizelle was wrong for saying Karen said Wendy was a floozie freelancer.  Messy!  The actual person Wendy should've been mad at was Monique.

Wendy's "4 Degrees" is a defense mechanism.  While she can and has weaponized it against Ashley, it's something she uses to defend herself.  I don't think she's trying to feel superior to anyone.  It's something she uses to say "I belong here."

Both Wendy and Ashley are 3 months post-partum and both have hormones jumping.

Boredom and Bars

I think if Monique wasn't going to have decent cell service (and sometimes some localities don't have the infrastructure for high speed internet/FIOS) then she should've had other activities other than fishing. The little pageant was cute though and Karen had shade for Gizelle the entire episode (lol @ stovepipe leg).

Monique vs. Chris

Monique saying she's putting her issues with Chris into a box and on the shelf next to the Candiace box is very telling.  I think she has quite a bit of resentment/anger towards Chris (and let's not forget, Monique at this point is about 9 months post-partum herself). I don't think she wants to rock that boat with him because he really holds the power, financially at least, in the relationship.  I think a lot of men think they're doing their part as long as the bills are getting paid, while their wives are going under water.

I'm also trying to figure out why is Monique still having issues with Chris' mom.

Ashley vs. Michael

I felt for Ashley when the producer asked her if Michael hates being put second in her life.  However, Michael did not marry Ashley so she could be his partner and helpmeet.  Michael married Ashley to have a little arm candy sex toy and her body has been injured giving birth, she's struggling and he's mad because 3 months post birth Ashley's booty hole isn't in service anymore and he can't get sex on demand.  Kickback Jack is trash.

Captain Billy's Crab Shack

Ashley's mom was wrong for telling her that yellow stuff in the crab was "mustard."  No, Sheila.  No.  That's nasty, having young Ashley eat that is disgusting.  You're wrong and out of order.

Candiace + Producers and Gizelle vs. Michael, Ashley and the truth

Production made sure Candiace had enough bars for that text to come through.   I've seen people questioning why Candiace ran to Gizelle to runteldat instead of going to Ashley. The only other person on the cast she could've gone to about this would've been Robyn and I don't think Candiace and Robyn are cool like that.  Everyone else either had a problem with Ashley or a problem with Candiace.

I'm just wondering if Production is having a moment of "Git Back" for grabbing the cameraman's butt from last season with this Michael storyline.

[malibu]

I really enjoyed this episode!  It was fun to see them being themselves and getting silly with the pageant.  Karen had me rolling with Gizelle's stovepipe legs and saying her pancakes tasted like doo doo even though she's never tasted doo doo!!!  I would have been totally content to just sit around and relax but they were all stressed out about being drama-free!  

It was interesting that Candiace was able to receive those texts AND the photo.  I'm assuming she was making sure production was going to blur the name of the sender because they definitely did not try to hide Michael's face.  Let's see him try to lie his way out of this one next week.  Ashley has to know better by now.

 

[biakbiak]

Lots of people eat the tomalley which goes by many names including crab mustard.

[Bronzedog]

36 minutes ago, biakbiak said:

Lots of people eat the tomalley which goes by many names including crab mustard.

That's interesting that it's sometimes considered a delicacy.  It's very, very bitter.  One of the many names it goes by is crab shit.

[Momager]

I loved seeing Monique put a worm on a hook like it was nothing and then totally enjoying kayaking. That was one of the most authentic sides I’ve seen of her.  I think the lake house is where the real Monique lives.

[For Cereals]

The apology was good.

If you have the means to have something catered so you can spend time with your guests, I don’t see the big deal, but I’m sure it’s not about the food...

Gizelle continues to be messy.  Baby-gate had nothing to do with Karen and she could’ve just said that the weekend would be a good opportunity for Wendy and Karen to get to know each other.

Ashley, you’ve got the baby, it’s time to move on and file for support...

[goofygirl]

Lawd, that lake getaway with the fishing and the being out in the middle of nowhere was authentic to me.  It looked like FUN!  I just think there are some chicks who just don't GET fishing!  The ones who didn't want to go could have just gone along and quitcherbitchin.  Like.. SHUT UP BABY ASS!!!  If I'da wanted you to have a "spa weekend, I'da set up a SPA here at the lake/river house. Just make up some reason NOT to go OR shut the hell up.

And can I just say that if I hear Dr.  WINDY mention once more that she has FOUR! (COUNT 'EM 4!) degrees, I'm gonna hurl.  Seriously, lady: GET. OVER. YOURSELF.      

Edited September 7, 2020 by goofygirl

[Keywestclubkid]

9 hours ago, malibu said:

 

It was interesting that Candiace was able to receive those texts AND the photo. 

 

I think she mentioned that it took longer for the picture to send to her so she was hoping that it wasnt who she thought it was .... And it looked like some of the girls got reception and some didn't .... didn't Wendy mention she finely got the picture her husband texted of her daughter?

[BloggerAloud]

I cackled with laughter when the ladies showed up for the dinner and one of them said that everybody was staring because they were dressed to go to the club.

[Neurochick]

10 hours ago, drivethroo said:

Wendy's "4 Degrees" is a defense mechanism.  While she can and has weaponized it against Ashley, it's something she uses to defend herself.  I don't think she's trying to feel superior to anyone.  It's something she uses to say "I belong here."

I don't know about that.  I still think she likes to lord her 4 degrees over other people.

[eleanorofaquitaine]

Not a huge Candiace fan but I didn't really have any problem with her going to Gizelle with that info. I think when a hot potato like that is dropped in your lap, of course you want to strategize with someone about what to do with that information. And I think Candiace recognized that, given the complicated nature of her relationship with Ashley, she had to be somewhat sensitive with the info she had. It seems like Gizelle and Ashley have a relationship outside the show and Candiace knows that Gizelle is willing to gossip, so I can understand her thinking there.

While I'm not particularly outdoorsy, I still would have enjoyed that vacation - anything that allows me a few days away from endless emails, etc., feels nice. I do get the challenge of not having enough cell service to talk to family, etc., but in my experience, you don't have to be that far outside a city for the cell service to fall apart. 

I didn't really have a problem with Gizelle's questions about being short and having a big forehead. I thought it was a clever way for her to tweak both Ashley and Candiace re their pageant personas without really being mean. 

[Baltimore Betty]

9 hours ago, Bronzedog said:

That's interesting that it's sometimes considered a delicacy.  It's very, very bitter.  One of the many names it goes by is crab shit.

My mother would grab everyone's crab shell to get the mustard out, she loved it...I did not.

[Iguessnot]

I'm glad Wendy apologized because that rant was unbecoming.

Monique is the hostess with the mostess. You could really see how hard she works to provide a nice experience for her guests. I am completely incapable of this so I acknowledge the skill in others.

Dean has grabbed my heartstrings. He is cute and so attuned to his surroundings and people.

 

 

[sATL]

The episode is about a text message - but it was a phone call and a screen grab that did for me..There one little line that had me ROFL...

The group made phone calls home. Karen was talking to Ray. Ending the call , Ray said : "Thanks for the call"...

Like she was doing Ray a favor by calling him..

what a good-bye b/w a couple.. that is something that I would say and have been told by someone I perhaps had an appointment with..

----

Then with the screen grab - the words of this old song by the dear late Arthea Franklin came to mind - 

"Let your mind go, let yourself be free

Oh, freedom, yeah, freedom
Freedom (freedom), oh oh freedom (freedom)
Freedom, oh freedom.."

Now let me re-watch the show for serious substance to comment on... 

Edited September 7, 2020 by sATL

[MrsRafaelBarba]

Monique does the heavy lifting in her marriage.

Plus MIL still thinks she's not good enough for Chris.

A powder keg, that will eventually blow.

 

Candiece really called her Jane the Jungle Ho...

Chile..

[Sweet-tea]

12 hours ago, truthaboutluv said:

I've never been into candid reality shows. It's why I don't watch any of the other Housewives shows or the million other Bravo candid reality shows. Competitive reality shows like Survivor have always been more my thing. So it surprised me that I got into this franchise and I finally realized your quote is exactly why. For all their messiness, these women feel the most normal to me and like people I could actually know and be friends with.

Potomac has become my favorite of the HW shows. I really enjoyed this episode. It was entertaining and funny. I didn’t feel stressed out or like I was climbing into the pit of hell watching it, which is how I feel lately watching BH or NY. 

Some of Karen’s comments in her THs cracked me up! 

I’m not sure why Candiace’s friend referred to Michael as Ashley’s “baby daddy” when he is actually her husband. I’ve never liked that term but whatever. Not believing Candiace is truly stressed over the text though. I think she still wants to take Ashley down a few notches. 

Monique seems more into the bird than her husband and children LOL. 

I still don’t like Wendy but am glad she apologized even though Ashley had to pry it out of her. 

 

[Axie]

I think the text to Candyass was totally staged.  The text comes to the person who has the most volatile relationship with Ashley and is just beginning to make amends with.  Everyone else is having trouble with internet connections except for that particular message.  Umm, no.  For some reason, the only storyline the can ever come up with for Ashley is that she’s married to an ugly old cheater.

[luckyroll3]

On 9/6/2020 at 11:02 PM, drivethroo said:

Wendy's "4 Degrees" is a defense mechanism.  While she can and has weaponized it against Ashley, it's something she uses to defend herself.  I don't think she's trying to feel superior to anyone.  It's something she uses to say "I belong here."

I agree.  It's totally a defense mechanism.  Many Black women with PhDs are constantly challenged and required to prove/defend their credentials.  Now, while I have never uttered the phrase, "people like you refer to me as Dr. Luckyroll", cause wow, rude, I have certainly demanded that people in certain professional spaces refer to me as such, particularly when they immediately make the assumption that I'm just the assistant and/or talk to me like I'm dumb. And it happens more frequently than I'd like to admit, particularly in my field where Black women represent barely 1% of people with graduate degrees. It's definitely something that Wendy falls back on when she's feeling threatened.  As someone mentioned in last week's episode thread, Wendy was most likely feeling threatened that even with all her accolades and degrees, someone like Ashley currently has a higher status than her simply for being a housewife veteran.

Glad to see some authentic apologies amongst the ladies. But did Giselle really need to tack on that stuff about Karen in her conversation with Wendy?  Who am I kidding, of course she did.  She can't help but be messy.

I must have fallen asleep, because I don't remember a pagent....I'll have to go back and rewatch.

Edited September 8, 2020 by luckyroll3

[Duke2801]

Ahhh what a timely coincidence that Candiace received that text about Michael from her “friend” right when the ladies were all gathered together at one location. Kind of like that time Bethenny got that text from her friend (“it’s about Tom”) when the ladies were vacationing in Miami! I’m sure it had nothing to do with producer intervention. No way. 
 

That situation between Ashley and Wendy—excuse me, Doctor Wendy—deescalated as quickly as it escalated. I am wondering if Wendy asked production if she could bring her baby and they said no, thus contributing to her anger. Or maybe she just wanted to get in on the drama right off the bat. It’s possible the hormonal element from both of them recently having babies added some fuel to the fire as well. 
 

Speaking of Wendy, that yellow outfit she wore for most of the day was seriously fug. Gizelle may soon have some competition for “worst dressed.” 
 

Ashley admitting that Michael “hates it” that Dean is now her #1 priority was sad and very telling. I guess we now know why he was so against them having a baby together. I hope she leaves his cheating ass, but I have my doubts. 
 

13 hours ago, Bronzedog said:

Um, Ashley?  That yellow in the crab is definitely shit.

 

13 hours ago, biakbiak said:

Lots of people eat the tomalley which goes by many names including crab mustard.

Correct—it’s the tomalley or hepatopancreas. It’s an organ, not a waste product. 

[sATL]

14 hours ago, truthaboutluv said:

I've never been into candid reality shows. It's why I don't watch any of the other Housewives shows or the million other Bravo candid reality shows. Competitive reality shows like Survivor have always been more my thing. So it surprised me that I got into this franchise and I finally realized your quote is exactly why. For all their messiness, these women feel the most normal to me and like people I could actually know and be friends with.

this eposide had a Top Chef Quickfire of pancakes . 

Edited September 7, 2020 by sATL

[Baltimore Betty]

45 minutes ago, Duke2801 said:

Speaking of Wendy, that yellow outfit she wore for most of the day was seriously fug

She looked like a slightly over ripe banana.

 

45 minutes ago, Duke2801 said:

Ashley admitting that Michael “hates it” that Dean is now her #1 priority was sad and very telling.

The baby should be priority #1 in every way, he cannot fend for himself, relies on a parent to do everything for him...I don't like that any man would be jealous of their baby, that speaks volumes to me, very immature.  Dean is a seriously cute baby.

[Boofish]

Jerry Seinfeld said you can tell the best year of a man's life by the way he dresses. Using that logic, Gizelle peaked in 1996.

The only women on this franchise I could actually be friends with is Monique, Karen and Robin. Candiance seems inauthentic, Wendy is pretentious, Gizelle is a messy ass church mother and Ashley just has way too many struggles.

 

Edited September 7, 2020 by Boofish

[ErikaAlyson]

I’m with Gizelle on this one haha I would just want to chill too and not fish. I don’t blame her one bit lol. I don’t know why people want “apologies” so weird to me. I liked Candiace and Gizelle’s apology talk lol. Ashley should leave Michael. He keeps trying to cheat. Monique seems like a great host.

[Keywestclubkid]

2 hours ago, Boofish said:

Jerry Seinfeld said you can tell the best year of a man's life by the way he dresses. Using that logic, Gizelle peaked in 1996.

The only women on this franchise I could actually be friends with is Monique, Karen and Robin. Candiance seems inauthentic, Wendy is pretentious, Gizelle is a messy ass church mother and Ashley just has way too many struggles.

 

I think Gizelle would be fun to hang out with and just be stupid I don’t think she would ever be like someone you would want as a close friend .. I have friends like Karen who inflate things about themselves to seem more important I dread being around them for long periods of time because you seriously get to a point that you want to scream stop the fakeness lol.  Candance and Robyn and Ashly I could see being friends with they are just petty enough but not as much as Gizelle but they would def not be the girls you would tell any kind of personal shit to...

[LaurelleJ]

4 hours ago, luckyroll3 said:

I agree.  It's totally a defense mechanism.  Many Black women with PhDs are constantly challenged and required to prove/defend their credentials.  Now, while I have never uttered the phrase, "people like you refer to me as Dr. Summerroll", cause wow, rude, I have certainly demanded that people in certain professional spaces refer to me as such, particularly when they immediately make the assumption that I'm just the assistant and/or talk to me like I'm dumb. And it happens more frequently than I'd like to admit, particularly in my field where Black women represent barely 1% of people with graduate degrees. It's definitely something that Wendy falls back on when she's feeling threatened.  As someone mentioned in last week's episode thread, Wendy was most likely feeling threatened that even with all her accolades and degrees, someone like Ashley currently has a higher status than her simply for being a housewife veteran.

As a black woman with a PhD, 100% agree with this. I will never say to someone that "people like you call me Dr" but in some circles in my field, where black women, and black men, are SO few and far between, I have to tell people who I am more often than I would like. Is it an easy and effective go-to in an argument against someone who doesn't have an advanced degree? Yes. Is it right? No. 

[biakbiak]

18 minutes ago, LaurelleJ said:

As a black woman with a PhD, 100% agree with this. I will never say to someone that "people like you call me Dr" but in some circles in my field, where black women, and black men, are SO few and far between, I have to tell people who I am more often than I would like. Is it an easy and effective go-to in an argument against someone who doesn't have an advanced degree? Yes. Is it right? No. 

But no one was calling out her education, this was a social situation and it was clearly designed to put Ashley down and declare that she was superior to her.

[LaurelleJ]

Admittedly, I am a big fan of Monique so it will take a lot for me to turn on her. The seasons young. I do think that she was being a great host, and that the women will try to shade her anyway that they can, especially since they are in her secondary/tertiary home, which still pales compared to their primary homes. If you let go of the hate, you can have a lot of fun too. I still maintain that Monique and Robyn have a lot of things in common being married to former pro-ballers, and would have been friends if not for Gizelle trying to shade Monique upon meeting her. 

I love that they went to Captain Billy's, one of my favorite spots. They were way overdressed for dinner though, haha. 

Agree with the posting above about that text being staged. I know that the drama is manufactured, but it's too obvious. 

I like Wendy and want to continue to like her, but she can knock off telling everyone that she's better than them every 10 seconds. No doubt production told her to lean on that heavily. Looking forward to the husbands arriving next week. Chris is still my favorite husband. I also like Ray and Juan. 

3 minutes ago, biakbiak said:

But no one was calling out her education, this was a social situation and it was clearly designed to put Ashley down and declare that she was superior to her.

I know, that's what I meant. In professional situations, she has no doubt had to do that before. It's easy to go there in social situations as a one-up for the person you are arguing with. Like I said, it's easy, but it's not right. 

[drivethroo]

56 minutes ago, LaurelleJ said:

As a black woman with a PhD, 100% agree with this. I will never say to someone that "people like you call me Dr" but in some circles in my field, where black women, and black men, are SO few and far between, I have to tell people who I am more often than I would like. Is it an easy and effective go-to in an argument against someone who doesn't have an advanced degree? Yes. Is it right? No. 

I do have black female classmates & associates who have reported that their colleagues will make sure to address white and/or male colleagues as "Dr So N So" but will address them as "Jane" or "Susie."  No, that's DR. Jane and DR. Susie to you.  They worked just as hard for their Ph.D as Dr. Brad did.

40 minutes ago, biakbiak said:

But no one was calling out her education, this was a social situation and it was clearly designed to put Ashley down and declare that she was superior to her.

Yes, Wendy did that and nobody here is disputing it.  What some people are sharing is that Wendy's "4 Degrees" is more of a defense mechanism than a superiority complex.  Ashley did the same thing to Wendy with the "Well MY Husband OWNS HIS OWN COMPANY." ...i.e. My husband is more important than YOUR husband...MY husband provides more value than YOUR husband.  And the only person who brought up husbands in the first place was Ashley.

44 minutes ago, LaurelleJ said:

I like Wendy and want to continue to like her, but she can knock off telling everyone that she's better than them every 10 seconds.

The only people she's acted like that towards is Ashley (unjustified but probably fueled by Candiace) and Karen (who's been getting her Mariah on with her).

 

47 minutes ago, LaurelleJ said:

I still maintain that Monique and Robyn have a lot of things in common being married to former pro-ballers, and would have been friends if not for Gizelle trying to shade Monique upon meeting her. 

Monique and Robyn would've been cool if Monique/Monique's family hadn't been making IG posts and memes about Robyn.

[LaurelleJ]

18 minutes ago, drivethroo said:

I do have black female classmates & associates who have reported that their colleagues will make sure to address white and/or male colleagues as "Dr So N So" but will address them as "Jane" or "Susie."  No, that's DR. Jane and DR. Susie to you.  They worked just as hard for their Ph.D as Dr. Brad did.

Monique and Robyn would've been cool if Monique/Monique's family hadn't been making IG posts and memes about Robyn.

This. I hate the way it makes me sound when I have to tell people in professional settings how to address me, but it's insulting when they do not ask or assume that I'm not the same. I also wonder if Wendy has some sort of complex about being on the show. Sometimes no matter what you do, if you appear on a reality show, you'll forever be referred to as a reality star, and people will discount what you did before that, and what you do after that. 

Monique and Robyn actually started out cool. This was Robyn's second time to Monique's lake house, her first being Milani's birthday party. Robyn said she and her boys had a blast, but Monique got mad about Robyn in her confessionals saying she talked too much, thinking that was all Gizelle. Once Gizelle and Monique fell out, that was it for Robyn. I wonder if Candiace got mad that Monique didn't do the same when she fell out with Ashley. 

[Stats Queen]

Still only 3 degrees here.

When I was in graduate school, starting in 1995, working on my Ph.D., I had two classmates who were black females. I’m in a field that did have a lot of women in in, but not a lot of minorities at the time. 
Luckily, that has changed a lot.

I learned so much about these women and how hard it can be for women of color in the world and in many professions.

I am a white female and only once at work did I remind someone to refer to me as Dr. Janet. He was a condensing, incredible stupid, Misogynistic,  incompetent, Ahole boss who was trying to pawn his one task he was required to complete off on me.

It has to be hard, awful and just wrong in professional settings to not be treated as equal to your peers where your competence, knowledge, and education is the same or more than others. However, in a personal setting when you say “people like you call me Doctor X”, that is disturbing. You are in a social, not a professional situation. That either stems from arrogance, insecurity, or displaced frustration in your professional environment.

Wendy is a professor at a prestigious institution and has landed “expertise jobs as a commentator on large new outlet(s). Both of these things are amazing achievements as there are many, many people competing for these positions.

Wendy throwing that line out to Ashley was really lame for someone who is required to be able to argue her position on national TV.

I don’t know where her attitude stems from on the show, but what lame argument - you are hired to argue your position for a living and that is your come back?

I think It it is possible that Wendy has spent most of her life around her “intellectual” equals and does not know how to deal with her non “intellectual” equals. My hubby has an aunt like that- she is in her 80’s and doesn’t not want to move into a retirement community because she won’t be with her intellectual equals - ironic, she probably hasn’t been exposed to COVID as she has no close relationships.

 

 

 

[LaurelleJ]

42 minutes ago, Stats Queen said:

Wendy is a professor at a prestigious institution and has landed “expertise jobs as a commentator on large new outlet(s). Both of these things are amazing achievements as there are many, many people competing for these positions.

Absolutely. From my friends/mentors who hail from this particular university, some of the faculty there have a similar attitude. 

[Baltimore Betty]

3 minutes ago, LaurelleJ said:

Absolutely. From my friends/mentors who hail from this particular university, some of the faculty there have a similar attitude. 

I used to work on the main campus of Johns Hopkins University, it is an awe inspiring, historic campus...there are a lot of adjunct professors, do we know if Wendy is a full time professor or adjunct?  Also, back in the very late 70's I used to go to Shriver Hall to watch midnight showings of Rocky Horror Picture Show in a corset, heels and sequined top hat along with a lot of guys who dressed the same, lol.

[LaurelleJ]

3 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

I used to work on the main campus of Johns Hopkins University, it is an awe inspiring, historic campus...there are a lot of adjunct professors, do we know if Wendy is a full time professor or adjunct?  Also, back in the very late 70's I used to go to Shriver Hall to watch midnight showings of Rocky Horror Picture Show in a corset, heels and sequined top hat along with a lot of guys who dressed the same, lol.

I'm not sure. Her profile says assistant professor, don't know if that's permanent, visiting, etc. It is a lovely campus. I applied for two of their PhD programs. The midnight showings sound awesome!!

[Neurochick]

7 hours ago, luckyroll3 said:

I agree.  It's totally a defense mechanism.  Many Black women with PhDs are constantly challenged and required to prove/defend their credentials.  Now, while I have never uttered the phrase, "people like you refer to me as Dr. Summerroll", cause wow, rude, I have certainly demanded that people in certain professional spaces refer to me as such, particularly when they immediately make the assumption that I'm just the assistant and/or talk to me like I'm dumb. And it happens more frequently than I'd like to admit, particularly in my field where Black women represent barely 1% of people with graduate degrees. It's definitely something that Wendy falls back on when she's feeling threatened.  As someone mentioned in last week's episode thread, Wendy was most likely feeling threatened that even with all her accolades and degrees, someone like Ashley currently has a higher status than her simply for being a housewife veteran.

That is true, but that's like saying, "Because I grew up in an abusive home, I have the right to abuse others."   I can understand Wendy talking about her four degrees in a business setting, but she's in a social setting.

BTW, "just the assistant?"  Whoa.  I've worked in academia and most times "just the assistant" knows more about what's going on than the boss.

Gizelle and Karen are a pair.  Gizelle can't dress and Karen wears ugly wigs (that long platinum blonde number does her NO favors, she looks older than me).

Edited September 8, 2020 by Neurochick

[drivethroo]

3 hours ago, LaurelleJ said:

I also wonder if Wendy has some sort of complex about being on the show. Sometimes no matter what you do, if you appear on a reality show, you'll forever be referred to as a reality star, and people will discount what you did before that, and what you do after that. 

Can't feel sorry for Wendy if this is the case; she's obviously watched the show before to know about Michael controlling Ashley's phone so she knows what reality shows are all about.  If she didn't want RHOP to sully her academic/professional name, she shouldn't have come on the show.

1 hour ago, Neurochick said:

BTW, "just the assistant?"  Whoa.  I've worked in academia and most times "just the assistant" knows more about what's going on than the boss.

"Just the assistant"  knows more about what's going on in every profession, but many MANY people assume if you are "just the assistant" (or a service worker) you are uneducated, dumb, lowly etc.  The assistant/service worker is there to "serve" you.  Many people have this attitude, even as they say they don't.  It is what it is and most people who are "just the assistant" know if they walked off the job today, the office would fall into shambles.  That's why smart people suck up to "just the assistant."

That's why Michael is ultimately stupid for grabbing the cameraman's ass last season, getting away with it and having Ashley run to Instagram to defend Michael/slam the cameraman because now production has a real reason to make them look bad.  Same with Nene/cameraman from RHOA.

 

[amarante]

I don't know why a serious academic or political *freelance* commentator would be on this show.

Seeing the manner in which she interacts, I can't imagine taking her seriously on any subject. I would seriously question any booker using her for serious political commentary in the future and if I were a student, I would probably avoid her classes.

I get that there are situations in which a POC might need to blast their academic achievements but it is utterly ridiculous to do so in a social situation in which no one is questioning her academic or professional status. WTF is it to say that she is Dr. Wendy - that isn't even a thing. I have a professional degree and I can't remember ever bringing it up as some kind of "gotcha" in a social situation. And I am old enough to remember when professional women were mistaken for secretaries so I do understand why theoretically one might feel a need to prove one's credentials.

[Axie]

I go to the dog park regularly and as a result I spend a couple of hours a day with the same people.  Believe it or not, people are very scheduled about it and the same people are there at the same time every day.  Anyway, over the weekend I was talking to the same oriental woman I’ve talked to almost daily for 2 years.  I mention that she is oriental only because she is also a minority.  She was tired and she said she was at work late the night before and since she never mentioned working before I asked what she did.  Turns out she is a medical doctor and works the night shift in a hospital emergency room.  2 years of almost daily conversation and I had no idea she’s a medical doctor!  Take note, Wendy.  

 

 

[retired watcher]

9 hours ago, Axie said:

I go to the dog park regularly and as a result I spend a couple of hours a day with the same people.  Believe it or not, people are very scheduled about it and the same people are there at the same time every day.  Anyway, over the weekend I was talking to the same oriental woman I’ve talked to almost daily for 2 years.  I mention that she is oriental only because she is also a minority.  She was tired and she said she was at work late the night before and since she never mentioned working before I asked what she did.  Turns out she is a medical doctor and works the night shift in a hospital emergency room.  2 years of almost daily conversation and I had no idea she’s a medical doctor!  Take note, Wendy.  

 

 

Oriental is for rugs. Asian is preferred. 

[luckyroll3]

14 hours ago, drivethroo said:

Yes, Wendy did that and nobody here is disputing it.  What some people are sharing is that Wendy's "4 Degrees" is more of a defense mechanism than a superiority complex.  Ashley did the same thing to Wendy with the "Well MY Husband OWNS HIS OWN COMPANY." ...i.e. My husband is more important than YOUR husband...MY husband provides more value than YOUR husband.  And the only person who brought up husbands in the first place was Ashley.

Exactly.

12 hours ago, Neurochick said:

That is true, but that's like saying, "Because I grew up in an abusive home, I have the right to abuse others."   I can understand Wendy talking about her four degrees in a business setting, but she's in a social setting.

I in no way intimated that. In fact, in the part of the sentence you chose not to highlight, I clearly stated that what Wendy did was wrong and rude. There was no justification on what she did; I only pointed out that she was using it as a way to gain status over Ashley.  

12 hours ago, Neurochick said:

BTW, "just the assistant?"  Whoa.  I've worked in academia and most times "just the assistant" knows more about what's going on than the boss.

And that statement was nothing against assistants.  It was to point out that I and many others have often had the experience that many people often assume that when you're the only black woman in the room it can't be possible that you are anything more than an assistant.  That's the problem.

14 hours ago, LaurelleJ said:

Monique and Robyn actually started out cool. This was Robyn's second time to Monique's lake house, her first being Milani's birthday party. Robyn said she and her boys had a blast, but Monique got mad about Robyn in her confessionals saying she talked too much, thinking that was all Gizelle. Once Gizelle and Monique fell out, that was it for Robyn. I wonder if Candiace got mad that Monique didn't do the same when she fell out with Ashley. 

I also felt that Robyn was good with Monique up until Gizelle wasn't. And I would totally bet that Gizelle gassed Robyn up about the posts on Monique's fan site and claimed that Monique must have been involved.  That was one of the stupidest fights during that season's reunion.

[TV Diva Queen]

when Monique was getting ready for dinner and had the bird with her in the bathroom - I thought that bird said "Monique" and didn't realize that Chris was on speaker phone.  I was like "dang, that bird has a low ass voice"  

When Chris told Monique that he'd rather cater - I get it, he wants to spend time with the guests - I felt Monique's pain because she probably had all the shopping done for the cook out (last week she said she was going back an forth both houses to get ready).  She probably suggested a caterer to Chris and he said "no I want to cook" and then he changed his mind and all her hard work was thrown down the drain.  Im sure this isn't the first time this has happened to her.  

[TexasGal]

22 hours ago, luckyroll3 said:

I agree.  It's totally a defense mechanism.  Many Black women with PhDs are constantly challenged and required to prove/defend their credentials.  Now, while I have never uttered the phrase, "people like you refer to me as Dr. Summerroll", cause wow, rude, I have certainly demanded that people in certain professional spaces refer to me as such, particularly when they immediately make the assumption that I'm just the assistant and/or talk to me like I'm dumb. And it happens more frequently than I'd like to admit, particularly in my field where Black women represent barely 1% of people with graduate degrees. It's definitely something that Wendy falls back on when she's feeling threatened.  As someone mentioned in last week's episode thread, Wendy was most likely feeling threatened that even with all her accolades and degrees, someone like Ashley currently has a higher status than her simply for being a housewife veteran.

 

I'm an attorney (alas, only 2 degrees), and in my first years of practice at a large-ish law firm was usually the only woman in the room during negotiations, settlement meetings etc.  More times than I can count I was asked, even by my firm's more senior people, where the coffee/food/soda/etc was.  I would try to justify it to myself that it was because I was the baby lawyer in the room but it would always tick me off that they just expected that part of my job was to keep track of the non-legal stuff because "that's what women do."